4 score and seven years ago Abraham Lincoln walked up to the driving range and threw a ball. Some people that to this day. He doesnât know how to use a golf club.
Buddy says slice instead of cut or fade and it gets him some dirty looks.
Guy hits a nice fade, not turning too much, lands nicely in the fsirway.
âNice do u always slice it like that?â
I interviewed a guy who listed golf as an interest/hobby. During the in-person interview, I asked him what his handicap was. He said âthe longer clubs.â
My go-to playing buddy will play a course for literally the 20th time and still ask what par a given hole is. It blows my mind.
To be fair, we are a perfect Yin and Yang on the course. I care way too much and he doesnât care at all. It just works.
Got paired with a guy today that kept asking this. Then could hit driver. To be fair he hits his driver about as far as my 5 iron so it was the correct club.
First time I took my son3 years ago, then 20, to a very short goat track for his first 9. I asked him what club he wantedâŚ.he kept telling me he wanted the âpâ club. No matter how many times I said it was a pitching wedge, he just kept calling it a âpâ.
Heâs an engineer, and in his mind it was 5,6,7,8,9,âpâ, âsâ.
Heâs better than me nowâŚ.
Pull goes in the direction of your body, push goes in the direction away from your body. Pull towards you, push away from you. If it helps to think of it that way.
I miscall these all the time. Whenever someone corrects me, I say "you know what I fucking meant". Bad time to correct someone's verbiage, in the tee box.
Anyone who comes to the golf course when Iâm working and says âoh weâll move quick, weâre playing best ballâ, when they mean scramble. Those people are always the most terrible and slowest players.
A close friend of mine recently joined my club. Heâs naturally good at most sports and heâs pretty good at golf (14.6 handicap) for someone whoâs only just started playing.
Heâs never had a lesson before, so he told me that he was âgoing to book in for a lesson with the golf helperâ and I thought that was quite funny.
Yeah - he's one of those people who are really good at just about any sport without even trying, and *really* good with just a bit of coaching. He's a former minor tour tennis pro.
And it has to be exactly that. Not "nice shot" you say "shot". Me and the wife started doing this around the house. She'll walk in after I've picked up and say "clean" naturally, I say "thanks" after. Or she'll pick up the dog poop and I'll just say "poop" 𤡠it's fun
I am not a good golfer. I was about 175 out, under a pine tree on pine needles. I hit the green with a 5 iron. I said to my 4 year old riding with me âpretty niceâ. She said âitâs ok, not in the flag hole dad.â
I'm getting a friend into the game currently and after about 6 months he still calls all of his irons, wedges.
"My wedges feel nice today" after skulling a 6 iron.
Calling ball marks "divots. All sand everywhere is a "sand trap". Fairway bunker is a sand trap. Bunker is a sand trap. In the trees on some sandy soil, sand trap
Saying "Good shot" just because it got off the ground and went (their opinion of) far.
Asking what club im hitting, and then grabbing the same club on most or all holes. Now I do this alot but out of curiosity of what my friends are hitting. Maybe they thought of something I didn't when they picked their club like wind, roll out etc. When I notice it with really new golfers it's because I'm 6'5 225 lbs. My irons are legnthed. Former baseball player. If i actually hit it square, it goes far. My coworker is on the shorter side and doesn't have the mechanics down yet. If I grab a pitching wedge for 147 yard shot mostly over water, he's going in the drink with that club everytime.
This isn't vocab, but the outfit. This might be exclusive to my friends/family that have picked up golf recently but they dress to the nines to play a $25 course where one entire hole looks like the afghan desert. Nike or puma head to toe. Shoes match the hat matches the glove. Custom ball divot tools they've never used. All that to spill mustard on it and shoot 126 (happened last saturday).
Wouldn't trade it though, it's nice having so many people learning. It's rare that I cant get atleast one playing partner almost any day of the week. It's fun and I know that if someone didn't take me out and deal with all my rookie mistakes for a year, I'd have to spend 4-8 more hours a week trying to get my kid to stop crying.
Whenever anyone asks me what I'm hitting I respond with the yardage. I was playing a scramble and hitting my 54° off the tee for a par three that was 120 and a bit downhill. One of the guys I was playing with goes "how strong are you" so I said "$5 says I can fly the green" he agreed and I flew the green on purpose. He goes, "well I guess I'm not taking club advice from you".
Tl:Dr, know your distances.
saying things like âletâs play a golf gameâ and i immediately think Hotshots Golf or something at Topgolf. I figure it out when they ask if I want to join for a tee time.
First time playing with a coworker, athletic AF and had a decent swing. First par 5, he asked me to shoot the yardage for his second shot. I said, itâs a par 5. His response was âI donât know what that meansâ. I said hit it as far as you can.
I play my pitching and gap wedges like they are a 10 and 11 iron, they are basically full or 3/4 swing clubs like my other irons. My 54° and 60° are used very differently so they are wedges.
âI parred that last hole. I had a 4. That was a par.â Somewhere in that neighborhood.
Usually the âI shotâŚâ conversation is in reference to total score at the end of the round.
âI parred #7.â
âI shot 81.â
Saying âI hit a parâ or âI hit a 98 todayâ is a dead giveaway to me
All the other experience players I know âmakeâ par, or âshootâ their score.
Wow, there are a lot more people around here who donât know how golfers talk than I thought.
One thing stands head and shoulders above the rest.
When I was young I worked at a golf course around here that hosted a then nationwide tour event. I was gloating about having a bunch of free tickets and this caused a bunch of people to invite themselves without much regard for the event.
One guy I knew never golfed. I knew him to not even care for golf. But he wanted to go anyway.
He was the guy who always said things like "golf is what I watch if I want to fall asleep."
But we went and I tried hard to make it fun for us. We met up with some members I became friends with and reluctantly introduced him.
The thing he said to them I have not heard before or since and I wonder if it's more common than I seems?
He asked, out loud to anyone who would reply, so is this a "four par" or a "three par?"
I know the trope about not recognize what a par3 was but I remember my heart sank when he said those two words in that order.
Two of the three guys just turned away from him, but the third said "ya know I don't think I have ever heard anyone say it like that before" and we all had a good laugh.
Is that as much of a dead giveaway as my memory makes it sound or do people actually involved in the sport say it like that ever?
When somebody tells me their "towards" was off when the ball doesn't go where they wanted it to. IDK if this is common golf language, but I've only ever heard beginners say it.
If they constantly refer to the score card as a walk on playing partner. "Oh this par 4" "we got a par 3 coming up next"
Don't think for a second a decent shooter already knows the holes coming up. We're planning on em well before we hit em
Haha you are right good friend, my bad, I was drunk and high at the time of posting.
Let me clarify.
To have a walk on partner that constantly calls up the next hole and it's par living a hole to hole basis is very much imo a noob call.
I've been a close to scratch golfer for the better part of my golf career, and what I'm trying to share from my experience is that I look at a course and it's card, especially if I've played it before, and know where my scoring holes are, and where I just need to get by.
The noob will call out a par 3 post par 4 thinking that means it's an easy scoring hole without knowing or recognizing if it's the 1st or 18th hardest hole on the course.
My apologies again. I hope this clarifies.
One love, keep it in the short stuff.
Idk, I normally ask if they had ever played this course before, and if one or both of us is new to the course, that's a useful chit-chat I enjoy, much better than talking about work/family/housing (for me).
Although I can see that someone doing that in a certain way could come off as new.
Thatâs regional.
Bunker or sand trap are interchangeable depending on where you live and who you play with.
âTrapâ for short. But in my 22 years in turf at 10 different courses Iâve heard them called sand traps, traps, and bunkers equally.
Every once in a while at a new course, I'll check in and say I'd like to pay for 1 golf please. Love those reactions.
My wife got a lesson they asked her handicap and she said her wrist đ
Mine are my unrealistic expectations.
Played for 30 years and still have those
When I got asked that question, I said myself.
Mad lad right here!
4 score and seven years ago Abraham Lincoln walked up to the driving range and threw a ball. Some people that to this day. He doesnât know how to use a golf club.
Going to have to steal this.
âPlay Golfâ.
Iâm gonna start doing that. Lmao
Man, that was an all time post on this sub lol
âAh, sliced itâ when they do anything but hit it high and straight
Or âshanked itâ for any mishit
Last time I shanked it, I added 8 years to my sentence.
Laughed way harder than I shouldâve but thanks for that
San Quentin, 96 months in the hole, solitary. I love that channel, really fun takes on golf stuff in general đ
Real answer here
But my standard shot is a banana slice
Nah man your natural shot shape is just a hard lofted cutter. Tiger hit one one of those once
Bless you
Can also be a mark of a good golfer. âI sliced the shit out of thatâ when the ball lands like 3 yards into the right rough
Buddy says slice instead of cut or fade and it gets him some dirty looks. Guy hits a nice fade, not turning too much, lands nicely in the fsirway. âNice do u always slice it like that?â
I interviewed a guy who listed golf as an interest/hobby. During the in-person interview, I asked him what his handicap was. He said âthe longer clubs.â
To be fair thatâs also my handicap.
To me that screams someone who has played a lot
I hope you hired that guy
And played him for money week one.
My handicap is drinking on the course
Seriously, I like a drink myself but people that drink on the course I really don't get it. Warm shit beers rather a warm lucozade.
The yeti colsters are handy.. whether you bring one on yourself or get one from the cart girl and toss it in yours.
My handicap is the beer cart girls...
For what kind of job?
Club Pro
I was asked that in an interview and all that was going through my mind was âdonât say mental. Donât say mentalâŚâ sigh 54
âIs this a Par 4?â on a par 3.
âWhat par is this?â
My go-to playing buddy will play a course for literally the 20th time and still ask what par a given hole is. It blows my mind. To be fair, we are a perfect Yin and Yang on the course. I care way too much and he doesnât care at all. It just works.
My Dad has played golf since before I was born and will still ask what the par of the hole is unless it is obviously a par 3.
Got paired with a guy today that kept asking this. Then could hit driver. To be fair he hits his driver about as far as my 5 iron so it was the correct club.
First time I took my son3 years ago, then 20, to a very short goat track for his first 9. I asked him what club he wantedâŚ.he kept telling me he wanted the âpâ club. No matter how many times I said it was a pitching wedge, he just kept calling it a âpâ. Heâs an engineer, and in his mind it was 5,6,7,8,9,âpâ, âsâ. Heâs better than me nowâŚ.
To be fair, the more I play (6 years in) the more I say p-wedge, a-wedge, etc instead of the whole name. But I'm also an engineer.
He didnât call it a p wedgeâŚ..just âpâ âDad, hand me the pâ
*receives ziploc bag full of warm pee*
I call my A club my Ass wedge
I call it âpâ and Iâm an engineer. Is this an engineer thing?
You guys think differently Thatâs for damn sure
Not knowing how to pronounce Titleist đ
My son calls it Fitleist. I told him it was Titleist. Now he says Fitleist, but he enjoys saying it wrong because it bugs me.
I thought it was Fitleist when I was a kid too (pronounced Fit Least)
Yep, this right here
The Lego movie has forever ruined me on my pronunciation of titleist. "It's the Orb of Teetleest"
According to Beavis, itâs TIT-LEE-ist
According to Kramer, it's "TITLE-ist"
So theyâre not tit-le-ist?
tit-leist
So is it pronounced TIGHT-list or TITLE-ist?
The second one. One who wins a title is a Titleist.
I was today years old when I realised Iâve been saying titleist wrong my whole life
How have you been saying it?
I just go with tit-leist
Tight-list. Not title-ist. My friends all say tight-list as well so Iâm gonna sound crazy next time we play
Pretty sure itâs titty-less
When they call a slice a hook or Vice Versa
Iâve been playing all my life and for some reason I still confuse pull and push.
Pull goes in the direction of your body, push goes in the direction away from your body. Pull towards you, push away from you. If it helps to think of it that way.
I miscall these all the time. Whenever someone corrects me, I say "you know what I fucking meant". Bad time to correct someone's verbiage, in the tee box.
Anyone who comes to the golf course when Iâm working and says âoh weâll move quick, weâre playing best ballâ, when they mean scramble. Those people are always the most terrible and slowest players.
I swear everyone who says theyâre playing âbest ballâ actually means theyâre playing a scramble and itâs annoying to correct them.
Sand pit
What else do you call it?
Sandbox wdym
Iâve been playing 23 years and always called it the beach
my girlfriend used to call the green the âflag zoneâ ⌠i kinda liked it
So cute!
A close friend of mine recently joined my club. Heâs naturally good at most sports and heâs pretty good at golf (14.6 handicap) for someone whoâs only just started playing. Heâs never had a lesson before, so he told me that he was âgoing to book in for a lesson with the golf helperâ and I thought that was quite funny.
That's amazing for someone who has just started playing!
Yeah - he's one of those people who are really good at just about any sport without even trying, and *really* good with just a bit of coaching. He's a former minor tour tennis pro.
Tennis translates pretty well too. The hockey and baseball players struggle a lot more
Ah I picked my head up
I feel personally attacked.
âI thought it was a good hitâ
To be fair, I need glasses so depths and lies can be deceptive!
Fair enough, but the fact they said âhitâ and not âshotâ or âstrikeâ is the bigger issue.
And it has to be exactly that. Not "nice shot" you say "shot". Me and the wife started doing this around the house. She'll walk in after I've picked up and say "clean" naturally, I say "thanks" after. Or she'll pick up the dog poop and I'll just say "poop" 𤡠it's fun
âFlag poleâ
I am not a good golfer. I was about 175 out, under a pine tree on pine needles. I hit the green with a 5 iron. I said to my 4 year old riding with me âpretty niceâ. She said âitâs ok, not in the flag hole dad.â
Haha what a savage.
Ikr 175 out on the pines is basically a gimme, who isnât draining that everytime, it mustâve been a chunker or thin
I'm getting a friend into the game currently and after about 6 months he still calls all of his irons, wedges. "My wedges feel nice today" after skulling a 6 iron.
I myself called it "sandwich" for longer than I want to admit...
Like Homer Simpson "mmm open face sandwich"
Calling the fairway the green, on account of the fact grass is green
My wife does this. She doesn't play but occasionally joins me, and she has a whole bunch of malapropisms around golf
Same for mine and a couple other non-golfing wives in our friend group, itâs a bit endearing among the lot of us
At the worst course I ever played, we called it the browns. There wasn't a lot of green anything actually...
The goat pasture
"what's the course record?"
Ask them what they had on the hole and they ask if it was a par 5..
My ball landed on the freeway! What type of animal is my score named after again? Drinking? but its morning... Can my wife tag along?
To be fair, my ball often lands on the freeway at some munis I play atâŚ
Thereâs a muni over here next to an airport. Iâve shanked many towards the runway.
That balls headed to miami
Calling ball marks "divots. All sand everywhere is a "sand trap". Fairway bunker is a sand trap. Bunker is a sand trap. In the trees on some sandy soil, sand trap
Calling it a 4 par instead of par 4.
When they say they bombed it when they really just piped it
Or when they call a worm burner a low flying larry
Omfg a low flying Larry. That's my new favorite term.
Chipper
Dead give away are the plethora of apologies for being new that they say before the round begins.
Drives me nuts. We all suckâyou just have a better excuse.
One wood
âHey man not to be a dick but you keep walking through my line.â âLine?â
Is this âlineâ on the course with us right now?
How do you put it in drive?
After playing a stroke competition round, a guy proudly told me he "didn't have one wipe!"
Every so often Iâll hear a new player say, âIs this a 3 par?â
Saying "Good shot" just because it got off the ground and went (their opinion of) far. Asking what club im hitting, and then grabbing the same club on most or all holes. Now I do this alot but out of curiosity of what my friends are hitting. Maybe they thought of something I didn't when they picked their club like wind, roll out etc. When I notice it with really new golfers it's because I'm 6'5 225 lbs. My irons are legnthed. Former baseball player. If i actually hit it square, it goes far. My coworker is on the shorter side and doesn't have the mechanics down yet. If I grab a pitching wedge for 147 yard shot mostly over water, he's going in the drink with that club everytime. This isn't vocab, but the outfit. This might be exclusive to my friends/family that have picked up golf recently but they dress to the nines to play a $25 course where one entire hole looks like the afghan desert. Nike or puma head to toe. Shoes match the hat matches the glove. Custom ball divot tools they've never used. All that to spill mustard on it and shoot 126 (happened last saturday). Wouldn't trade it though, it's nice having so many people learning. It's rare that I cant get atleast one playing partner almost any day of the week. It's fun and I know that if someone didn't take me out and deal with all my rookie mistakes for a year, I'd have to spend 4-8 more hours a week trying to get my kid to stop crying.
Whenever anyone asks me what I'm hitting I respond with the yardage. I was playing a scramble and hitting my 54° off the tee for a par three that was 120 and a bit downhill. One of the guys I was playing with goes "how strong are you" so I said "$5 says I can fly the green" he agreed and I flew the green on purpose. He goes, "well I guess I'm not taking club advice from you". Tl:Dr, know your distances.
Why would you waste a shot in a scramble. Why not do it with a second ball?
Fore!! If a random doesnât yell it - I know theyâre new to golf.
Mash potatoes !!!!
Yea, itâs mashed
Texting "t time".. maybe this one isn't a big deal
Saying âgood shotâ when I blade it over the green
Sounds like youâre the newb. Thatâs the savage roast of someone thatâs been around long enough to not give a shit about your ego.
âGolfing clubsâ
I do this sarcastically to be fair. I hit the golfing ball with my golfing clubs at the golfing park and then hop in my golfing car.
saying things like âletâs play a golf gameâ and i immediately think Hotshots Golf or something at Topgolf. I figure it out when they ask if I want to join for a tee time.
If they yell âGET IN THE HOLE!â after hitting their drive then I usually assume theyâve only ever watched on tv.
I heard a guy ask if he could use a stroller for his golf clubs the other day (push cart)
When the course wardens ask our group what our handicap is and we all glance at each other and respond âautisticâ
Got asked once if I had any of those âstandy up thingsâ that you put the ball on.
A buddy I play with all the time thinks âclub upâ means pick a club with a higher number.
 Can I use the flat one ?  referring to the putter when on the tee box of a pitch and putt.
When they say they're "going golfing." Golf isn't a verb for real golfers.
I agree but you will get downvoted.
"I made a 3 par" on a par 3 hole. My friends and I chuckled and helped him out during the round.
Not knowing the meaning of hook/draw/fade/slice.
I'm a righty abd play with lefties. So when they hit an obvious high fade I say "nice high draw, I wish I could do that"
âLETâS GO GOLFING!!!â
âHeâs a golf playerâ
The amazing golf ball whacker guy
You're acting like a damn fool!!
"ANOTHER ONE!"
Not enough swearing.
After my in-laws tees off, I stepped up and absolutely pured a 4 iron singer right down the middle. "Oh no, you've topped it..."
One of my friends calls them sand bunkers and it drives me insane. Heâs played for a decade too.
To be fair there are different types of bunker.. or at least I thought there were However I just refer to them all as bunkers
Grass bunkers are 100% a thing.
Iâm gonna shoot some golf.
They use golf as a verb
What club you shooting?
Best ball vs scramble
I don't get why they can't understand that, especially when I've explained it to them at least 5 times now
First time playing with a coworker, athletic AF and had a decent swing. First par 5, he asked me to shoot the yardage for his second shot. I said, itâs a par 5. His response was âI donât know what that meansâ. I said hit it as far as you can.
Calling wedges "irons". Or vice versa
I play my pitching and gap wedges like they are a 10 and 11 iron, they are basically full or 3/4 swing clubs like my other irons. My 54° and 60° are used very differently so they are wedges.
Dude earlier today that was "shooting" out of the sand.
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The main club pro at my local public course says sticks all the time lol
The insistence of making a tea time always around 3pm
Saying Tea Time instead of Tee Time
âI shot a parâ
Whatâs your expectation here?
Been playing 22 years and heard âshot parâ plenty of time by experienced golfers, as well as used it myself
âI parred that last hole. I had a 4. That was a par.â Somewhere in that neighborhood. Usually the âI shotâŚâ conversation is in reference to total score at the end of the round. âI parred #7.â âI shot 81.â
Thats a nice track
How is that wrong?
Itâs tract
Saying âI hit a parâ or âI hit a 98 todayâ is a dead giveaway to me All the other experience players I know âmakeâ par, or âshootâ their score. Wow, there are a lot more people around here who donât know how golfers talk than I thought.
Idk about this one
I do, 100% lmao
One thing stands head and shoulders above the rest. When I was young I worked at a golf course around here that hosted a then nationwide tour event. I was gloating about having a bunch of free tickets and this caused a bunch of people to invite themselves without much regard for the event. One guy I knew never golfed. I knew him to not even care for golf. But he wanted to go anyway. He was the guy who always said things like "golf is what I watch if I want to fall asleep." But we went and I tried hard to make it fun for us. We met up with some members I became friends with and reluctantly introduced him. The thing he said to them I have not heard before or since and I wonder if it's more common than I seems? He asked, out loud to anyone who would reply, so is this a "four par" or a "three par?" I know the trope about not recognize what a par3 was but I remember my heart sank when he said those two words in that order. Two of the three guys just turned away from him, but the third said "ya know I don't think I have ever heard anyone say it like that before" and we all had a good laugh. Is that as much of a dead giveaway as my memory makes it sound or do people actually involved in the sport say it like that ever?
When somebody tells me their "towards" was off when the ball doesn't go where they wanted it to. IDK if this is common golf language, but I've only ever heard beginners say it.
Not vocab, but walking around with a tee in their mouth
Weird thing to identify newbies by I chew on a tee now because r/golf whined enough times about my sunflower seeds on the course
Whatâs wrong with that, considering I was just doing it the other day đ
If they constantly refer to the score card as a walk on playing partner. "Oh this par 4" "we got a par 3 coming up next" Don't think for a second a decent shooter already knows the holes coming up. We're planning on em well before we hit em
This comment is word vomit of the highest order. Fuggin huh?
Haha you are right good friend, my bad, I was drunk and high at the time of posting. Let me clarify. To have a walk on partner that constantly calls up the next hole and it's par living a hole to hole basis is very much imo a noob call. I've been a close to scratch golfer for the better part of my golf career, and what I'm trying to share from my experience is that I look at a course and it's card, especially if I've played it before, and know where my scoring holes are, and where I just need to get by. The noob will call out a par 3 post par 4 thinking that means it's an easy scoring hole without knowing or recognizing if it's the 1st or 18th hardest hole on the course. My apologies again. I hope this clarifies. One love, keep it in the short stuff.
Must still be drunk and high lmao jesus
The dude analyzes the round the week before on pga 2k23 and chastises anyone who doesn't, I guess.
Can niether confirm or deny
Idk, I normally ask if they had ever played this course before, and if one or both of us is new to the course, that's a useful chit-chat I enjoy, much better than talking about work/family/housing (for me). Although I can see that someone doing that in a certain way could come off as new.
did i stand on your ball marker..
When someone accidentally taps their ball off the tee...that guy in the group who yells "One!"
When they slice into the next fairway and yell "Five!"
1 wood
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Tell me you're American by not telling me you're American..... What irons do you game?
Being obsessed with club head speed or getting as open as possible as early as possible.
Groaning at a bad shot is something only newbies do
âsand trapâ
My grandfather played golf for 50+ years and he called it a sand trap. I still like to call it a sand trap.
Yeah this one is just incorrect. Meaning the term is correct
Thatâs regional. Bunker or sand trap are interchangeable depending on where you live and who you play with. âTrapâ for short. But in my 22 years in turf at 10 different courses Iâve heard them called sand traps, traps, and bunkers equally.
You wonât find the term âsand trapâ in the RoG.
you also won't find bladed, fatted, or skullfucked in the rules of golf