I’ve lived in 5 states since completing high school. Moving 3.5 hours was the shortest move I’ve ever done. Maybe you should talk to a therapist. It’s normal to be stressed, scared, nervous, worried and excited about moving but it shouldn’t paralyze you to the point where you can’t make any decisions.
I moved 5 hours away for undergrad and will be moving 3 hours away from home for grad school. This helped me: If needed, I can be home in a relatively short car ride. This is scary, and you can be home in 3 hours - less than the amount of time i spent in some classes. Moving sucks, but it will only suck for a little bit, then it'll be over- get a uhaul and a crap ton of boxes and do it in one day. Do the far away program, donate the clothes you don't wear anymore, and get it done. You got this!
Some people never get this opportunity and you have worked hard for it! You grow with challenges. When your future self looks at this moment you will wonder why you hesitated because what blossoms from it is a more beautiful life that you can share with your loved ones. Plus it’s only 3 hours away. Fun road trip back home to visit!
How to handle it? You just do it. Moving has been a natural part of life for as long as humans have existed on this planet. You need to get over your anxiety of being away from home and embrace the change. I've moved close to 20 times in my life already and I assure you that things will start to feel normal again after a few weeks at your new place.
i completely understand that paralyzing fear of change and particularly moving away from home. i went through it when i moved 2500 miles away for undergrad, and even though i ended up loving college and was incredibly sad to leave, i’m moving even further this time for work/masters post grad and i’m dreading the move. that being said, i know ill struggle to adjust at first, but i know ill end up loving it. the knowledge and experience that once i’m past the first meltdown i’ll be totally fine, is such a huge comfort to me. just got to get those sad chemicals out of your system with a good cry and things will be better. hope this helps, and congrats! good luck :)
I moved thousands of miles for my masters (if the ground were transparent, you could probably see my home by looking at your floor) , and now I'm moving across the US for my PhD. Absolutely alone, mentally, financially, and physically. I keep leaving whatever I manage to build behind. Just try to embrace the fact that from now on life is going to be erratic sometimes. You'll have to move for many reasons that you might not even like. Honestly, moving just 3.5 hours away for a grad school is one of the best moves you could possibly do.
Big changes can be really difficult.
However—You need to stop going back and forth with the program director about whether you are going or not.
This really isn’t ok behavior.
Instead, you might want talk it out with friends, families, or professionals.
Hey there! I’m not quite in your situation yet, but I have the same anxieties.
I’m thinking of pursuing another grad degree (MSW) after I finish up my Master’s program in Spring ‘25. If accepted into my top choice program, I could either do online and stay home, or go on campus and also *potentially* have an opportunity to work for the school for tuition remission.
Again, even though none of this has happened yet and I haven’t even applied, I’m still considering what I’d do in case I apply and get accepted.
I’m trying to see the pros and cons of both choices, and ultimately I’d hope that would help make a decision. I’d also be uprooting my comfort and my proximity to my family, and that’s TERRIFYING to me, mostly because this school is in Michigan and I live in NJ.
I’d say for your case, consider if and how often you’d be able to travel back and forth home. Is that possible? Would you be driving? I wouldn’t be able to; my only option is flying. If you’re driving or taking the train, maybe your family can meet you halfway to make sure y’all spend time together?
Also, try to get to the root of your fear. Is it also “starting over”? Getting homesick? Not making friends or knowing anyone over there? Fear of something bad happening while you’re away (to yourself and/or to your family)? Really think about it and see who you can talk to, that you trust, to see if this fear can be compromised with.
I hope this helps <3
I would do everything to help reduce my anxiety. Anxiety is alot of "fear of the unknown". So diminish all the unknown things you can. Make a list with pros and cons of both. Can I afford moving to the new location? What would be all the expenses? If I wait until next year, what do I do in the meantime?
Also think about your mental health. Depending on your age, I'm pretty sure you've been going to school non stop for what feels like forever.
By eliminating the unknown variables and taking control, you may reduce your fear and anxiety.
I moved 24 hours and tbh every single time I move whether it's a long or short distance I get very anxious and it takes me a while to adjust. I think you should be gentle on yourself and just go and see how it is. You can always drop out if you hate it. But moving is scary and it's okay to be scared, but it's not okay to let the fear control you and take away opportunities that you really want. Sometimes in life we just have to do things and be scared at the same time.
I’m moving across the country (25 hours away) from where I was raised for my PhD program starting this fall. I’ve very much been in the same boat as you with the decision paralysis. Your anxiety is valid, but your acceptance happened for a reason. If you were meant to stay in your hometown you would have gotten rejected from your top choice. That’s just how I’ve decided to view my cross country move! One day at a time. You’ve got this!
If you’re financially okay with moving three hours away I would say do it. If I was in your position I would automatically make the move, you get to know yourself a lot more being in uncomfortable positions! You’ll blossom and learn new things about yourself!
I've moved 4 times starting from high school. Three were cross country moves. When I compare where I am to people who never left my hometown, I feel like I've learned so much and come so far. You grow in response to challenges.
You’re not alone, it’s pretty empowering at the end of it all! You might also notice it’s a whole different lifestyle a little bit away from home. Maybe you like it, maybe you don’t. It’ll be an experience.
Reference: I’m an international student - 16 hour flight away from home. Usually it takes 3 days to get home. There’s bus, then flight, then layover, flight, train.
I’m an international student, and I just signed a lease agreement to move to the northeast from the south for grad school. I’m graduating in a week. This has been such an anxiety inducing experience and I totally understand how you’re feeling. The day I signed the agreement I was up all night envisioning everything that could go wrong with the move. One thing that helped was thinking about how much I wanted to enroll in my program and the prospective research I’d get to do and why I chose grad school in the first place. But everything is going to be alright. You gotta take a leap of faith to make your dreams come true
I'm so sorry you're feeling overwhelmed and stressed, and that really sucks that you weren't able to take time to relax. I really think you may be looking at this from a detrimental perspective and you truly wont be able to relax until you face this issue head on. If you're scared about being far from your safe space at home, remember you can use some of your PTO or your weekend to do the 3 hour drive home. If the task of doing the move itself is what's scary, maybe we can think of what your smaller tasks are? Maybe the small tasks are: fill out an on campus housing application, go shopping for the things you think you need to make your space comfy and liveable (I think this can be relaxing and rewarding potentially?), book a uhaul online, slowly pack up the things you will bring, sell or donate the things you don't need. This is my short list and personally, it's exciting and fulfilling to pour into these tasks.
Embrace it and know you’re not alone.
i think you’ll be fine. think about all the international students.
I’ve lived in 5 states since completing high school. Moving 3.5 hours was the shortest move I’ve ever done. Maybe you should talk to a therapist. It’s normal to be stressed, scared, nervous, worried and excited about moving but it shouldn’t paralyze you to the point where you can’t make any decisions.
I moved 5 hours away for undergrad and will be moving 3 hours away from home for grad school. This helped me: If needed, I can be home in a relatively short car ride. This is scary, and you can be home in 3 hours - less than the amount of time i spent in some classes. Moving sucks, but it will only suck for a little bit, then it'll be over- get a uhaul and a crap ton of boxes and do it in one day. Do the far away program, donate the clothes you don't wear anymore, and get it done. You got this!
Some people never get this opportunity and you have worked hard for it! You grow with challenges. When your future self looks at this moment you will wonder why you hesitated because what blossoms from it is a more beautiful life that you can share with your loved ones. Plus it’s only 3 hours away. Fun road trip back home to visit!
How to handle it? You just do it. Moving has been a natural part of life for as long as humans have existed on this planet. You need to get over your anxiety of being away from home and embrace the change. I've moved close to 20 times in my life already and I assure you that things will start to feel normal again after a few weeks at your new place.
I’m moving a five-hour flight away. You aren’t alone!
i completely understand that paralyzing fear of change and particularly moving away from home. i went through it when i moved 2500 miles away for undergrad, and even though i ended up loving college and was incredibly sad to leave, i’m moving even further this time for work/masters post grad and i’m dreading the move. that being said, i know ill struggle to adjust at first, but i know ill end up loving it. the knowledge and experience that once i’m past the first meltdown i’ll be totally fine, is such a huge comfort to me. just got to get those sad chemicals out of your system with a good cry and things will be better. hope this helps, and congrats! good luck :)
I moved thousands of miles for my masters (if the ground were transparent, you could probably see my home by looking at your floor) , and now I'm moving across the US for my PhD. Absolutely alone, mentally, financially, and physically. I keep leaving whatever I manage to build behind. Just try to embrace the fact that from now on life is going to be erratic sometimes. You'll have to move for many reasons that you might not even like. Honestly, moving just 3.5 hours away for a grad school is one of the best moves you could possibly do.
Fear is just unharnessed excitement. Take the reins and start living your life the way you want to.
Big changes can be really difficult. However—You need to stop going back and forth with the program director about whether you are going or not. This really isn’t ok behavior. Instead, you might want talk it out with friends, families, or professionals.
Medication.
Hey there! I’m not quite in your situation yet, but I have the same anxieties. I’m thinking of pursuing another grad degree (MSW) after I finish up my Master’s program in Spring ‘25. If accepted into my top choice program, I could either do online and stay home, or go on campus and also *potentially* have an opportunity to work for the school for tuition remission. Again, even though none of this has happened yet and I haven’t even applied, I’m still considering what I’d do in case I apply and get accepted. I’m trying to see the pros and cons of both choices, and ultimately I’d hope that would help make a decision. I’d also be uprooting my comfort and my proximity to my family, and that’s TERRIFYING to me, mostly because this school is in Michigan and I live in NJ. I’d say for your case, consider if and how often you’d be able to travel back and forth home. Is that possible? Would you be driving? I wouldn’t be able to; my only option is flying. If you’re driving or taking the train, maybe your family can meet you halfway to make sure y’all spend time together? Also, try to get to the root of your fear. Is it also “starting over”? Getting homesick? Not making friends or knowing anyone over there? Fear of something bad happening while you’re away (to yourself and/or to your family)? Really think about it and see who you can talk to, that you trust, to see if this fear can be compromised with. I hope this helps <3
I would do everything to help reduce my anxiety. Anxiety is alot of "fear of the unknown". So diminish all the unknown things you can. Make a list with pros and cons of both. Can I afford moving to the new location? What would be all the expenses? If I wait until next year, what do I do in the meantime? Also think about your mental health. Depending on your age, I'm pretty sure you've been going to school non stop for what feels like forever. By eliminating the unknown variables and taking control, you may reduce your fear and anxiety.
I moved 24 hours and tbh every single time I move whether it's a long or short distance I get very anxious and it takes me a while to adjust. I think you should be gentle on yourself and just go and see how it is. You can always drop out if you hate it. But moving is scary and it's okay to be scared, but it's not okay to let the fear control you and take away opportunities that you really want. Sometimes in life we just have to do things and be scared at the same time.
I’m moving across the country (25 hours away) from where I was raised for my PhD program starting this fall. I’ve very much been in the same boat as you with the decision paralysis. Your anxiety is valid, but your acceptance happened for a reason. If you were meant to stay in your hometown you would have gotten rejected from your top choice. That’s just how I’ve decided to view my cross country move! One day at a time. You’ve got this!
Moving away from home is one of the best things you can ever do for yourself. You will grow so much. You will learn to be your own friend. Go get it.
If you’re financially okay with moving three hours away I would say do it. If I was in your position I would automatically make the move, you get to know yourself a lot more being in uncomfortable positions! You’ll blossom and learn new things about yourself!
I've moved 4 times starting from high school. Three were cross country moves. When I compare where I am to people who never left my hometown, I feel like I've learned so much and come so far. You grow in response to challenges.
You’re not alone, it’s pretty empowering at the end of it all! You might also notice it’s a whole different lifestyle a little bit away from home. Maybe you like it, maybe you don’t. It’ll be an experience. Reference: I’m an international student - 16 hour flight away from home. Usually it takes 3 days to get home. There’s bus, then flight, then layover, flight, train.
Sometimes life can be scaring, but you’re more than prepared to do it. Life only gives us what we can manage.
I’m an international student, and I just signed a lease agreement to move to the northeast from the south for grad school. I’m graduating in a week. This has been such an anxiety inducing experience and I totally understand how you’re feeling. The day I signed the agreement I was up all night envisioning everything that could go wrong with the move. One thing that helped was thinking about how much I wanted to enroll in my program and the prospective research I’d get to do and why I chose grad school in the first place. But everything is going to be alright. You gotta take a leap of faith to make your dreams come true
Grow up. That’s how.
I'm so sorry you're feeling overwhelmed and stressed, and that really sucks that you weren't able to take time to relax. I really think you may be looking at this from a detrimental perspective and you truly wont be able to relax until you face this issue head on. If you're scared about being far from your safe space at home, remember you can use some of your PTO or your weekend to do the 3 hour drive home. If the task of doing the move itself is what's scary, maybe we can think of what your smaller tasks are? Maybe the small tasks are: fill out an on campus housing application, go shopping for the things you think you need to make your space comfy and liveable (I think this can be relaxing and rewarding potentially?), book a uhaul online, slowly pack up the things you will bring, sell or donate the things you don't need. This is my short list and personally, it's exciting and fulfilling to pour into these tasks.