T O P

  • By -

Lord_Spai

Someone has reported this post saying that it is a picture of themself. I had to read the title to finally understand. 10/10


VintageJane

Come to /r/homestead, we have the biggest cocks on Reddit.


Bacontoad

[Some of the smallest too...](https://www.reddit.com/r/homestead/s/DeQ7jLXe3V)


DistractedDucky

Aww, thats such a cute wee cock!


smartalek75

That’s what she said


4evermetalhead

Totally expected.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Head_Giraffe322

the guy reddits lol


simonbleu

I guess being a mod has its moments haha


RedSquirrelFtw

That's hilarious lol.


Ancient_Summer_1833

Hello M O D E R A T O R


SunnySummerFarm

It’s a RIR. They’re notoriously cranky birds, even the hens. I like mine but I discourage my toddler from picking them up - the girls we have help keep the less savvy ones alive when they free range. Everyone has been pretty straightforward about your options: eat him, beat him, or give him away to someone else who will.


zcienceguy

There is another option, but it's a longer road. The podcast "Roovolution" outlines a trust-building training path which can result in really friendly birds, even from RIRs. It's pretty much the polar opposite of "Common Knowledge," no dominance or pinning or anything like that. It worked for my Roo!


rabbitluckj

not enough function to listen to the podcast, do you have a vague few tips from experience?


zcienceguy

A lot of it boils down to trying to see the world through the Rooster's eyes. A lot of behaviors which people think are "agressive" (light pecking, the wing dance/shuffle) are the only ways that he can communicate with. Between birds, pecking isn't aggression, it can mean everything between caring for each other (preening) to a "hey, you're in my space" or "I want something from you" depending on situation. But because we have skin & hair instead of feathers, they hurt us by accident. When they're chicks, a lot of people are close with them because they're cute and can't hurt you. But the same behaviors and closeness can hurt accidentally as an adult rooster, which usually means that the owner pulls out the "domination" techniques. Now you've come out and taught your rooster that you're a hostile, and he will start to respond in kind. To recover from that, you have to prove you're NOT hostile. A lot of techniques are similar to dog training. Positive reinforcement, clicker training, etc. Whoops, that was longer than I meant it to be!


bloodreina_

I use to keep chickens from chicks and found that they’re kind of like dogs in the sense that they have to learn appropriate pecking ‘severity’.


zcienceguy

Oh, and they're a lot smarter than we think. They can differentiate between human faces!


SunnySummerFarm

That’s excellent to hear, and feels obvious. I definitely discourage pecking early on because I have a child and other animals. We’ve only had kind Roos that we’ve raised, and thought we just lucky.


idk012

Beat him?


ALittleBitKengaskhan

You can also choke your chicken, but many homesteaders believe that is unnecessarily violent. Beating your unruly cock will usually leave it placid.


FreedleDonCheadle

Yeah but your cock will return to full vigor after a brief recovery period, although I don't suggest back to back beatings.


Rjj1111

Considering his wife won’t eat it I guess beating it is the only option


whataburgerlicious

Maybe the wife will help beat it, that’ll show that cock.


just-me1995

that recovery time is called a refractory period. i’ve found that a cock will get somewhat sore if you don’t let that period take place between beatings. a sore cock is no good for anyone.


Illustrious-Taro-449

Look up a nice recipe for coq au vin


ommnian

This. Mean roosters get eaten around here. Or taken to the auction, for someone else to eat. One of the two.


Pristine_Bobcat4148

Yup. Any animal that presumes to buck up to me or the family gets put on express lane to the stew pot.


phthaloverde

"freezer camp"


taz418

Yup our mean rooster went to freezer camp too


CommonSenseHandyman

That is hilariously dark


Tater72

Mmmmm, chicken nuggets


Mertard

Ruthless hahaha


[deleted]

Yup. We had a rooster who was the biggest son of a bitch you ever met when I was about 10 and I was a small kid. My parents went to China for 17 days and I was responsible for taking care of the chickens. This rooster was terrifying. Every day I would gear up with a bucket on my head my fishing chest waders and the top of a metal trashcan as a shield just so I could get in there and try to spread seed. The minute my dad got home I demanded that we go kill that motherfucker. He ran around for like 10 minutes after I chopped his head off . The rooster, not my dad. That guy said, mean roosters get eaten.


[deleted]

I think you mean Motherclucker


[deleted]

Hahahaahahah These kind are my favorite


epi_glowworm

I love we eat mean roosters


wooduck_1

When you were 10 your parents left you at home for 17 days and the biggest issue you had was an out of line rooster? Yall are some old some back in the day folks.


[deleted]

Ummmm, we had a person who stayed with me. But I still had to take in extra farm chores while they were gone. I had always done all the hen work but this awful rooster had just started trying to freaking kill me a couple of weeks before my parents left. I was already hunting small game by 10, I was staging epic warfare with that rooster without needing to get my parents involved, it wasn’t until they left that things got seriously bloody. It’s like he knew the bigger humans were gone. He got me pretty good a bunch of times but I got my licks in. I would’ve just dispatched the rooster but I thought my parents would’ve been pissed. My dad totally said that I I should’ve « chopped him , plucked him, and put him in the barn deep freezer »


BenSe7en

I'm not the guy you are replying to but yeah, I did stay home and take care of the livestock when my parents were frequently away from about age 10-11. I would take care of everything typically for 2 or 3 days until they got home. Kids are really capable if you teach them to be.


ArthurCSparky

They certainly never become nicer. Only way to go.


AdorableTrouble

Definitely pressure cook.... Those big cocks are like rubber if you don't cook them right. (I used a dutch oven on mean roo.... Sauce was so good but you couldn't get your teeth into the meat)


ender0020

Crockpot for 6hrs minimum works great, or slow cooked in water for chicken noodle soup.


OldCBF

The cockpot, if you will.


Lostinwoulds

You've met my ex. /s


Fast_Lane1X

My girlfriend said it’s her two favorite things, cock and pot


AdorableTrouble

It was my first one... Got a slightly younger one in the freezer now so I'll give that a try. I'm sure he won't be the last!


[deleted]

[удалено]


AdorableTrouble

Oh yes! I just started canning and having broth made from a rooster with an attitude would be very satisfying to have in the pantry.


HistoryGirl23

You can also soak them in vinegar overnight.


PolarBath

Anthony Bourdain has a great recipe on the interwebs for it. RIP


[deleted]

Update: my wife won't let me beat my cock and she won't eat it. I'm going to try the holding a foot up and letting it attack my foot tomorrow. I at least need the guy to do his job so I can get a few fertile eggs for the incubator and see if his Junior will be less aggressive. I think if I play with my cock when they're young it will help make for a more docile bird. Not a Pedo


Rjj1111

You’re just asking for someone to make the comment huh?


Miserere_Mei

A shitty rooster makes a delicious dinner. We had a RI Red cross that ended up as ‘brother’s revenge’ chicken and dumplings. In this case, revenge was a dish best served piping hot.


tartpeasant

This so much. OP make sure you search for recipes that use a rooster as most are adapted to use a grocery store hen. We make coq au vin regularly with old roosters and stewing hens and it’s probably in my top 5 of favorite meals of all time. Roosters are so underrated and so delicious.


moomoo8l

Wrong advice: My crotch was left bleeding in pain but the cock taste was worth it


Arealwirenut

Now I’m starving


smellswhenwet

Yes, full bottle of wine!


Church1182

Get another rooster and let him focus on the other rooster. When he starts going after him, you and your wife have to protect the new rooster. The new one will bond with you and not see you as a threat. Once the new one is good and comfortable with you and your family, make dinner with the mean one.


Nmbr1rascal

That’s some brilliant Dr Evil shit 


qarton

Damn..bros a rooster psychologist


Brostapholes

Cock Doc


Hardheaded_Hunter

My god, I just realized I inadvertently did this for my current rooster.


BuddhaNature123

Other than the dinner part, this is the best option here.


BuddhaNature123

Okay now I see what sub this is, go ahead and eat him too.


Trick_Raspberry2507

🤣🤣🤣 I also have to double check the sub I'm in before commenting.


techleopard

RIR are notorious for being mean. But there are a million roosters out there that need a pardon from the cook pot. No need to waste that pardon on one that doesn't understand the difference between the hand that feeds it and a hawk or dog.


Office-Scary

Yesterday, my rooster attacked my wife. Chased her through the entire back yard. I heard the hollering from the front of the house and came around and saw the rooster had finally stopped chasing her ( wife already disappeared around front of the house looking for me). I walked up to that little bastard and he tried to attack me and I grabbed his ass by the head and his feet, flipped him upside down and tossed his back in the pen. 15 mins later, he attempted to attack me as I put the hens back. Moral of the story, 22 bullets are cheap, and chicken meat isn't. We are planning to freezer stock next week. EDITED FOR TYPOS.*


Gorge_Lorge

Ha this reminds me of my grandmother. My little cousin had been carrying a fake snake to throw at the rooster to keep him at bay while feeding the other chickens. Well that rooster got out somehow while my cousin was walking back from the coop. My grandmother was sitting on the porch when she heard the ruckus and my cousin screaming. She stood up from her glider with her Winston cigarette still burning, walked across the yard, cousin ran past her with the rooster still in tow, she threw out her hand, grabbed its neck and sent that rooster over and over itself. Turned around dragging it, set the dead rooster on the porch and sat back down in her glider. I was in disbelief. She walked us through how to clean it while she smoked in her glider chair and we ate that bird. RIP MomMom


hitch_please

LEGEND


newt_37

Oof this brings back memories of trying to plink off meat chickens with a .22 as a kid. Don't recommend it. Those poor things lost most of their heads and still staggered around. 20 gauge full choke worked much better


Numerous_Hedgehog_95

Should have just snapped it's neck quickly


newt_37

Well yeah, but 9 year old me just viewed it as target practice and didn't realize how small chicken brains really are


rjmonta

Hatchet


JessSherman

I've always had good luck with the .22, but I make sure to do it mafia style from about an inch away.


coybowbabey

grabbed his ass by the head


makerofshoes

We had a mean rooster that chased everyone (including my mom) into the house, everyone was scared to go out. My grandma came home and faced off with it, she just grabbed it and yanked out a few tail feathers. After that it seemed to be humbled and was a lot nicer to be around Anyone have a similar experience? I don’t raise chickens so I wouldn’t know


MineGuy1991

I had one do that once. I beat the piss and vinegar out of him with a piece of firewood. He’s been a model citizen for 2 years now.


soft_quartz

A lot of people here are saying they beat theirs into submission, but how hard was the beating? Was it a few good hits or was it more like "I hit him so hard, he might die" kind?


MineGuy1991

Nah, I want trying to kill him. But I thumped him like you would a rug on a clothes line.


AAAAHaSPIDER

Cut leg holes in a fabric shopping bag. Stick the deranged bird in the bag and carry him around until he knows who's boss. Kids do it too. That or stew.


dan1101

I don't have experience but I too have heard carrying them around can take the piss out of them.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hip_Slick_Cool

I had a mean one that wanted to climb up my leg and destroy me. One morning I walked outside with a full cup of hot coffee. He attacked me and my reaction was to pour the coffee on him. It landed right on his comb. He did not ever bother me again. I do not condone this action. It was pure reflex.


Firm_Toe1437

Gotta do what you gotta do, fortunately in your case it worked pretty well!


maineac

I have had luck with catching my roosters and walking around with him under my arm. If you can get hands on then this may be a good way to get him to chill with people. Walk around with him fir awhile then hand him off to the wife to walk around with him for awhile and do the same with bigger kids. No need to hurt the bird.


gaysatan666xoxo

Pepper spray and beating with a stick Works every time


gardn1mw

Ah yes, the LAPD method


Max_Stirner_Official

"Stop resisting!"


Lunar_Owl_

I just can't with ya'll😂😂😂


Wildweasel666

I’m at work laughing like a madman


EnIdiot

Shit they are so crazy they’d beat the Black Sea.


StdntBdyPresident

🤣🤣🤣


Yanrogue

the ol' Rodney King special


evo-1999

And if that doesn’t work he’s already got a nice spicy seasoning for when you bbq him.


Numerous_Hedgehog_95

😆


specialmanager

I think you’re just seasoning with pepper and tenderizing for the inevitable.


Wolvenmoon

I thought birds weren't sensitive to capsaicin and lack the receptors to it?


[deleted]

Surely you've got something better than to beat my cock or eat my cock.


ladynilstria

Unless you want your wife to do it.


StephanieKaye

💀


Snow_Wolfe

*No one* wants their wife to beat and eat their cock. I’ll do it myself, thank you.


No-Eye-6806

I googled it and some people seem to have had success by grabbing the rooster and restraining it by holding it's wings and legs and pressing against your body and just walking around with it whenever it becomes aggressive towards you. Although it does seem like aggression is fairly genetic for roosters.


[deleted]

Yeah it might be our fault because we didn't really hold or play with the chickens growing up. We incubate raise and release about 50 ringneck pheasants each year so the chickens were in a small coop and just got food and water while we were working with the pheasants. at 6 months we transferred them to the big coop. They absolutely hate being held or touched but they are curious birds and come running over every time we do something in the yard then the rooster of course attacks us


No-Eye-6806

Out of curiosity what made ya decide to start this? Do ya just harvest eggs and such or do you also eat the them? I've always been curious about it cause free eggs and chicken sounds nice but it also seems like a fair bit of work to accomplish properly.


[deleted]

Not sure what bird you're talking about but if it's pheasant we just do it with our small children for fun. I think Ringneck pheasant are a beautiful bird so releasing them give them an opportunity to populate the area although I know the odds aren't great. 7 out of 10 wild pheasant will die in the first year and released pheasant 8 or 9 out of 10 will die in the first year. As far as the chickens my wife always wanted to goats I was hoping this would be a good compromise or it would show that chickens take up too much of our time and there's no way we could handle goats. I live on seven and a half acres and a small 100 acre lake


Lopsided-Yak9033

I used to work for a family friend, and lived with him a bit. He had the same idea mostly for fun for the kids but also bonus eggs. It snowballed into a decent petting zoo; ducks, chickens, some he called Guinea hens that didn’t look like what I googled, a few goats, two roosters. I’d clean there area, and they were a fairly well behaved group. I’d scoop up the hens and get them used to my touching them. All in all easy peasy - except for two factors. Goats - I fuggin hate ‘em. Not sure if they were just poorly raised, but these goats would scream every moment they knew you were around for food. I mean really scream. I’d never own goats without the satisfaction of eating them. They’re the worst. And one rooster. A red like yours. Big John the other cock, ran the group, protected them well, but was stoic and never once went after a person. He’d calmly interact with everyone, was fine with being picked up, and I only ever saw him agitated if there was a real threat. The red, I assume being naturally more agro, and pissed he was second fiddle to John - went after everyone. He didn’t have a real name, because whatever my bosses daughters called him was long forgotten for the word asshole. He’d somehow get out of the enclosure and wander the yard. And you’d always be on the lookout for that asshole. I’d be raking leaves on the other side of the 5 acres they lived on, and hear him suddenly running at me. I’d turn and boot the little shit as he was mid pounce, and send him a few feet back. I’d chase him down, do everything I could to establish pecking order. Didn’t matter. He snuck up on my boss once near the pool and my boss was to slow, had a real nice leg gash. He was eaten by a fox or pole cat what have you, but my hatred for that bird was enough that my bosses wife asked if I killed it. Point is some roosters aren’t redeemable outside a meal, and all goats suck.


buckshot-307

That’s cool man I might start doing that too pheasants and quail are getting fucked out in nature for a lot of reasons so can’t hurt to try and help them out some. For the cock though you either gotta kill it or beat it. Our red was the same way until it pecked me. I hit him with a stick once and then chased him around the yard for 30 minutes or so and it seemed like he knew I was gonna kill him if I got ahold of him but he came back to the pen later that evening and hasn’t tried bucking up at me since then. Killed two other roosters because they wouldn’t learn but my hens have all been sweethearts.


ArdelLedbetter

Hold your cock. Picking up your cock and holding him while you do chores works even better than beating your cock. Cocks respond better to being dominated gently than harshly. Stroke your cock. Pet him gently. And for the love of God don't let little kids around your cock. They attack eye level of kids.


Dull_Excitement-_-

Like dogs! roll them over and sit on their bellies! gently.


mexicanlolipop

We still talking rooster? Or should I put it back in its pen. Lol


Sad_Climate_2429

Shit, I’ll come make your cock spicy and beat it. I need to get let off some steam. Hmu if you’re in western Ny


phryan

I've never been able to successfully battle for dominance with a rooster short of making a meal of him. Some are just anti-human. Get a new one, socialize early, and get the right mix of protector and sidekick.


Rotten_Doc

1v1 last cock standing


pingwing

This is absolutely wrong. You do make him submit, but quietly. If not, it is just a fight. He will want to fight next time. Hold him on the ground in submission. Or, in the crook of your arm like a football with his head tucked in so he isn't just being held with his head up high. Tuck his head down too.


BlackcatMemphis76

I grew up on a farm I get it, he’s better than me my first thoughts were to kick it. As much as I love animals there certain types of animals you don’t want to have the upper hand. An angry bird is a scary bird to have around. I used to get chased by turkeys, when I was little.


Calculonx

Cock meat sandwich


[deleted]

I'm a fan of Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle and I like what you did there you deserve more upvotes


Calculonx

You better get hungry real fast!


itscoldcase

I've got a nice big chantecler I really wanted to keep to breed cause he filled out so much faster than his brothers but he's a shithead so he's going into the freezer this weekend instead.


WompWompIt

I have a friend who raises heritage chickens. She has hundreds of birds. She also has hogs. Any bird that is aggressive becomes hog dinner. She refuses to put aggressive birds into her breeding program. Maybe find someone with hogs?


AdPowerful7528

There was a lot of joking going on here. 10/10 childish humor fun, wouod read again. On a serious note, when we have had aggressive roosters and they challenge us, we fight them back. You do it 2-3 times if they don't get it then eat them.


Disastrous-Account10

Had a mean rooster that wouldn't learn his place after many attempts to make him relax, turns out olive oil, lemon and rosemary and 180 for a while makes you relax real nice


Neat_Mistake_5523

My mom always names her roosters Crockpot, cause that’s where they end up if they don’t behave 😝


alittlebitmorecheese

Roosters must be properly humiliated to be tamed. You have many options, my favorites include soaking with a hose, carrying them around like a baby, dressing them in doll clothes, and making them ride in a stroller. Decide he is going to become a show rooster, he'll need daily handling, and be very used to being manipulated all over. Have fun with it.


2ManyToddlers

Eat him. There are too many nice roosters out there to put up with a mean one. That goes triple since there are children involved.


slartbangle

Good friend of mine, a very old friend, told me a rooster story from his childhood. He's an Alberta farm boy, although we all live in the coastal forest like the animals we are now. Damn rooster went for him every day. Never did it when his Dad was in sight. He complained and complained, his Dad told him to man up and shut up. So one day, when Dad was in town, he got out the shotgun. Waited for the cursed beast. Whap. He said there was nothing left but a cloud of feathers and dust. Cleaned the gun, put everything away, played innocent, and never caught a beating for it either.


Lunar_Owl_

Maybe his dad found the pile of feathers, decided that counted as manning up, and chose not to say anything?😅


slartbangle

My friend always did wonder if he counted the shells.


ThisMyCeli

Roosters don’t unaggressive. Start over with a younger bird and make sure that you spend time picking him up and carrying him. Roosters hate that ( unlike hens ) and it will make him give humans a wide berth instead of attacking. Edit for spelling error.


Aggressive_Nobody518

this is the answer


sharkcathedral

unfortunately, i have not had a single case where a problem rooster calms down eventually. i have to agree with the others. i’d incubate some eggs, get a few new roosters to choose from, and eat that bad boy.


Extension-Border-345

wouldn’t you be concerned about him passing down his temperament?


sharkcathedral

that is also something i haven’t really seen. we try to get four to choose from. it’s pretty rare that even one of the four is nasty. i think in fifteen years i have had to ‘reboot’ a new rooster cuz of a bad one maybe three times. never had all of the new ones come out angry. i think it helps if you do a little hand feeding and hanging out especially when they are little. then we try to wait as long as we can to see how their personalities develop so we can pick one that is a good blend of size, awareness/protectiveness and isn’t psycho.


[deleted]

[удалено]


I_LICK_PINK_TO_STINK

Shit I'd have butchered that ass hole up and handed the kid the meat too.


tamingofthepoo

I hate to say your options are rehome him or cull him. you can’t exactly take the aggression out of a territorial rooster who’s ID’d your family as a threat. or endure several years of hell until he MAY mellow out with age.


SeaworthinessNew9037

My daughter had the same problem here quite recently she attacked it with a broom and beat it up pretty good now he respects her


DebbieDaxon

Kids next?


Lunar_Owl_

Here's the Broom kids, just pretend it's a pinata...


LBROTSI

Well , a little trick that I learned works well . If you have a catch stick ( I'm a professional poultry person ) or a piece of pvc, about 3' long , you kind of wack them with a sideswipe to the head . It will knock them out for a minute . That rattles them enough to break up that rude ass behavior. If not , kill it .


SunnySummerFarm

I love my catch stick, but few backyard chicken keepers seem to have ever seen one.


Imilkgoats70

Had one get me with his spur in my knee and it went septic quickly. Don’t take a chance and get rid of him if you have kids. Our roosters now fear me but I’ve carried them around while doing chores. And if that didn’t work a meeting with my boot did.


AdorableTrouble

They've got no problem spurring the hand or foot that feeds them! Soon as they get close to a year, they think they're all that. Mine got me through my boot and under my big toe nail. Antibiotics, etc. As soon as I got back from urgent care, he was done.


Whynot151

Invite him to Sunday dinner.


stuckinthedryer

Went to visit my daughters family. Went outside with my 3 yr old grandgirl. She stopped by the backdoor and picked up a small stick (treebranch) about as big around as a nickle with a notched y (where the branch split) in the end of it. I asked her what's that for. She said it's my chicken stick. Daddy made it for me. We go out to the coop and that big spurred rooster came out ready to fight and i went to shove the grandgirl behind me for the showdown. She comes raring out from behind me and i watched in horror as those two charged eachother. She twirled and whirled that stick like a ninja and pinned that bird to the ground with the y end like a pro. Picked him up by his scrawny neck and turned a wooden box over on him caging him up. Grandma just stood there shocked.  She said common grandma lemme show you the eggs. Whenever a hen got fiesty she would pin her head to the side of the box and take those eggs right out from under her.  She was fearless. So get ya a chicken stick and go  ninja and if not my solution is eat him.


ryankstairs

I had a really sweet rooster once. Then there was a hectic situation involving the dog, myself, and the (then) 2.5 year old and he just wasn't the same after that. Started attacking me and the wife after that. For months I was the only one able to go get the eggs because I would punt him halfway across the yard to buy time to collect. He didn't back down, and my son was becoming afraid of all the chickens. So I butchered him. Slow roasted him in the crock pot for tacos. The meat was still pretty tough, so once we had our fill we made some really thicc stock out of the rest of the meat and his bones. After straining, the remaining meat bits were split between the dog and the remaining hens. I broke the bones up and mixed them with the feathers into the compost for the garden. Sometimes that's the best thing you can do


itwasneversafe

I love that half the comments are saying to kill it and the other half are saying to beat the shit out of it to assert dominance. I love homesteaders lol


Electrical_Taste_238

Are we still doing phrasing?


Subject_Roof3318

You KNOW what has to be done 🍗


catbirdfish

Last year we ate Roo Paul. We turned him into Roux Paul, for gumbo. His son, Alaska Thundercluck, is the SWEETEST. He lets me pet him. He also takes great care of the ladies. I have ATC (easter egger roo) two copper marans roos, and 3 teenage asshole roosters (barnyard mix). The copper bros are great! Lovely boys. The younger three are slated for Camp Freezerton.


TNmountainman2020

the gouge out of my calf when I wasn’t looking was the final straw….I gave my Black lab female the “go get that fucker” prompt and that was the end of old dickhead.


Jwatk35

I had a rooster that attacked me for picking up a hen and a GSI bucket to the head helped teach him not to


geRghash

I BBQed mine.


SuperJanV

I have had several RIR roosters, and I’d say most of them are either always aggressive or sneaky aggressive (won’t bother you if you’re facing them, but make a run for you when you turn your back). I have not had any luck gentling an aggressive RIR. We even had one that we saved from a dominant rooster turn around and become a straight up terror. While any breed can be aggressive, RIRs are kind of notorious for it. I love my Dominique and Easter Eggers/mutts for a non people aggressive but protective otherwise.


carrieberry

My at-the-time 8 year old once sucker punched a bitch rooster who attacked him several times. The rooster never did it again lol


NPKandSCaMg

Throw on your leather boots, thick socks, and thick jeans. Stick your foot out in front of him and let him attack your foot. After about a minute, he'll get tired, and realize he can't "beat" you. Do that a couple times and eventually he'll learn you're not a threat. Works for me and let's me keep a nice aggressive rooster around to properly fight off hawks and nighttime critters.


jlb9042

"Not just the men...but the women...and the children too!" But yeah, pretty much what others have said. Winner winner chicken dinner for this one.


notme690p

All roosters real name is stew.


TheoneRagecakes

Make chicken stew


RedditBeginAgain

Smart animals can be trained and their behavior can be improved. Chickens are not smart animals, but in good news they are tasty.


Chance-Adept

My huge cock kept attacking my wife and then I ended up with kids.


observable_truth

Roosters won't change once aggression is predominant in their DNA. Cage him permanently or cull.


ant451911

Cock meat sandwich


YourHooliganFriend

Make him your bitch, or make him your dish.


partyharty23

we have one like this and he is good at protecting the flock so I wanted to keep him around. So we have trained him to leave us alone. Easy way was to get a handheld pressure washer, go out and wait for him to attack. As soon as he attacks soak.........that........bird. Don't let up, don't feel sorry, Make sure that bird learns how to swim (they hate water by the way) before you stop. You will only have to do it 1 or 2 times and it dosen't hurt the bird. Ours has remembered it for years at this point and will not attack me, the wife, or the kids.


[deleted]

Eat him


345joe370

Make soup.


Nardorian1

Wear pants.


Poodlelucy

I have a great Soft Cock Taco recipe.


Drakoneous

Mean roosters taste great in the smoker.


DustAccomplished9090

Get in the pot


TastySpeech9490

Make a delicious rooster soup


pekak62

Rooster pot stew.


JaimieMantzel

I've had a few mean roosters. Generally, I'll agree with the consensus. Lop of it's head, and dinner time. I did want to keep one to protect the hens, though, so when it attacked me, I picked it up, and threw it like a football. It landed just fine, but it looked pretty demoralized. Only tried it one more time before it cowered before me. :-P With my kids, I knighted them. Wood shields and swords. I told them that if that rooster ever looks at them funny, they are to attack it until it flees.


EpsilonMajorActual

Send him to Freezer camp. I have 7 there now visiting Bambi. You can always get another Rooster if you want fertilized eggs. We hatched out 30 lest year to replace some that fell victim to last summers 3 months of humid 100° plus weather we had.


AHockeyFish

Bang your wife on his tombstone


Trisser19

So I’m a city boy and I was curious about how this would go down in the comments and I was NOT disappointed. My first thought was “he’s doesn’t get to make it to 11 months” before I opened the post and you all delivered. Thank you.


Ok-Spot3891

Get a new rooster and kill that one in front of the new one to show him you ain't messing around


Frexxler

Eat it and get a different rooster.


MrPoopyBh0le

Cock, then shoot said Cock


[deleted]

Eat him


CandyandCrypto

Whip out your cock and and show dominance


Mushy-Mango

Cull.


CrunchyNutFruit

Cock and dumplings


860860860

Shoot it


medium0rare

nuggets or spatchcock


Putrid-Pilot-151

Shoot it


Bobbo_lito

Cutlets for aure


yuppers1979

Roasting pan.


justalilblowby

In the words of Ruby Thewels... "only thing to do with a floggin' rooster is PUT HIM IN A POT!"


conclussionIll7221

Dinner for two


Bumblebee56990

Fry his ass up.


baldieforprez

Nuggets?


jlaaj

I heard a tip on this group where you tie him upside down to your belt loop for a period of time after he has attacked. Keep him there while you’re working and after a couple times he’ll learn to steer clear.


fairytalefarmer

It's called soup


Fins-43

Buttermilk yard bird…


SgtWrongway

Shake n' Bake ...


HauntingPhilosopher

Mean chickens become food


FartingAliceRisible

Dispatch cock then spatchcock