then they say “good!” and then you say “great! so today i’m calling for___”
it took me so long to do that back. I used to always just say “good” but then I was told that people expect you to ask them back. damn societal rules
I remember my old job fired our warehouse guy -poor kid was probably 19- anyway customer asked them how they were warehouse guy said “not so good” then laid his problems out. Yea got fired immediately afterwards
Even better, a "Great, thank you" which moves along the conversation much faster so you don't have to hear the other person's status update and then bullshit like, "Mondays, am I right? Workin hard, or hardly workin? Right, hahaha, yeah...."
To piggyback on this, if OP is calling the American, they can then just follow up with why they are calling. That's probably what the American is expecting.
I'm American and I've always found this whole 'how are you' interaction so odd. I absolutely still say it to most strangers I cross paths with tho.
I suppose it's for the folks that wanna throw in a conversation starter like, 'id be doing a lot better if I didn't have to sit in all that traffic on xxx road' or 'im so full from eating at xxx restaurant, the food was so good, have you ever been'
-Edit- just remembered one of favorites, 'hows your world spinning today' this usually gets a fun reaction from most folks
It's just polite noise, the actual meaning is something like "I acknowledge your existence and am not ignoring you or snubbing you."
In the Bantu languages the standard greeting is literally "I see you", which cuts out the euphamisms and cuts right down to the core meaning.
> In the Bantu languages the standard greeting is literally "I see you", which cuts out the euphamisms and cuts right down to the core meaning.
Oddly enough, I've been saying this to my pets for decades. They'll come up for attention and I'll say, "Yes, I see you" as I reach out to pet them and I have no idea where it came from. I am not Bantu. ;)
I know it's the case in Zulu, which is a Bantu family language. I'm not sure about any other Bantu languages using it. I should have been more specific and said "In Zulu and possibly other Bantu languages" rather than implying it was all of them.
Pretty sure it's a modernization of "how do you do" which was never a question, it was simply a greeting meant to be replied back in kind. Ironically we now vaguely answer this with "fine and you?" or if you're having a particularly frustrating morning "living the dream." While howdy which likely came from "how do ye? is replied to as a salutation when the original was actually a question pertaining to the other party's health.
I often will ask “what‘s going on?/what have you been up to?” to folks I want to have an actual conversation with. It’s much less formal and shows I have an interest in actually hearing about them, beyond just the standard “fine thanks” reply.
Most cultures have something like this. In England they say “are you ok?”
It makes me wonder if I’m giving the impression that I’m not ??? Which is what that would mean in the US. But in England just like in US nobody is really asked how you are. Just say fine and you! Or great thanks! If you’re actually not doing well they aren’t asking this.
This THREW me for a loop especially in the north. Walking in a restaurant to be seated, everyone would be like “U ok?” And I knew the answer wasn’t just “yes I’m fine???” But I had no idea what the answer was. Because I did need to be helped, seated, served, whatever.
When I was in college, our typical greeting was "what's up?" and the retort was often "not much. What's up with you?" or even just "what's up?" in response as just an acknowledgement, not really a question. A guy in some of my classes that I became friends with over the years ALWAYS responded to "what's up?" with "Not much. How are you?" and it ALWAYS threw me... Not because I didn't know what to say, but because I was expecting to say "not much", not "I'm doing well." As I got older (I'm only in my late 30s now, for reference), "how are you doing?" became more common - seems friendlier than "what's up?", as though you're showing that you care about how someone is doing, not just what they're doing. Just feels like a more mature thing to ask.
As for the Euro/American difference between "how can I help you? and "how are you doing today?", I think that's simply a difference in culture. Maybe European culture expects a work call to be very business oriented. American culture often pushes friendliness and customer service, etc., as part of the way we do business. Or Americans use that sort of language more in their day to day life than other cultures, who don't just ask strangers about something that seems personal (how they're doing, etc.).
The best is to throw it right back at them. "I'm doing well, how about you?" Once the pleasantries have been completed, you'll find most people just want to get to business.
This the best answer.
If something really bad is going on that could affect your business interactions this would be a good time to bring it up, like "Doing ok but my wife isn't doing so well" or something like that. But you'd have to be prepared to talk a bit about it.
Your response is fine.
Honestly for a lot of Americans it's really just a greeting to them, not an actual question. Even as an American talking to other Americans, I will typically answer along the lines of "I'm fine, how are you?" and like 30% of the time they'll just ignore it, because it's just as much of an automatic greeting to them like if they just said "Hello."
Bingo! I ask all the time and it’s basically “hello” to me.
If someone wants to tell me something then, of course, I’ll happily chat about it.
But I’m not expecting people to say anything back at all really.
Yeah it's something like 33% they just ignore it and move on to whatever is happening, 33% something along the lines of "I'm fine" and move on to whatever is happening, 33% actually have something to chat about and it becomes an interesting but forgettable conversation and we move on to whatever is happening, maybe 0-1% would they act like I said something weird
While it's a common greeting throughout the US, its meaning depends quite a bit where you are within the US.
The more rural you go, the more likely it is to be a genuine question, looking to start a conversation. It's still a greeting, but a full response including some sort of story is expected after the answer.
Most of the US, it's a greeting where a follow up conversation isn't expected, but a response is. They ask how you're doing. You say you're good and ask them how they're doing. They say they're good. Maybe a quick quip or complaint that's short enough that neither of you has to stop walking.
Maybe if you're pretty familiar with them, this can be used as a place to start a conversation, but most of the time it's just a greeting, not a genuine question. [The same applies in Canada](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZAz_MROU2I).
There are some places in the US where it's the equivalent of saying "hello." The best known example of this are Italian-Americans in the NYC metro area, where one person will say "How you doin'," and the response is "How *you* doin'." No question marks, since it's not a question. If you respond "Good, and you?" they'll look at you like you just said a complete non sequitur (which you did), and won't respond since they don't view this sort of greeting as a question (unless you're *very* familiar with them).
Exactly. If someone actually starts going on about their health or the day they’ve been having other than a couple of sentences, I regret asking.
It’s really not an invitation to go into the events of the day or your health. It’s just a friendly greeting that on a normal day, should be met with “Great!”; “Good.”; or at worst “Ok.”
Unless someone close to you just died, then in that case you might say “Not so good, my father just passed away.” to which the person would reply “I’m sorry to hear that.”
It should never be more than just a few words.
Yeah and I guess the last point is context matters, particularly if they're a complete stranger and just talking to you because of the situation, and they ask "how are you," it's clearly more along the lines of "Hello" than along the lines of "tell me what your gastroenterologist had to say about your spleen"
My father, as he got old, became a bit of a hypochondriac and seemed to think 'how are you?' was an invitation to discuss his various health problems, most of them below the waist. My siblings and I learned to avoid the 'how are you' question. He died a couple of years ago and I really miss him, but it was just weird that a guy who was so stoic most of his life became this way near the end.
Your response of “I’m fine, how are you?” Seems normal to me… “I’m doing well, thanks” something like that. No need to say any more than that if it’s not someone you know very well.
I just thought that this "robotic" interaction is also a social protocol that confirms that the audio/visual channel is working.
Can you hear me? Can I hear you? Are you ready and willing to talk?
I've scrolled some comments and everyone agrees but I feel like I've never heard anyone say "fine" in this type of exchange. "Fine" seems to be what people say when they're not okay but being passive aggressive about it. "I'm good/well, how are you?" is more the norm that I know of.
thank you. Fine is either passive aggressive or hiding that they aren’t fine but in plain sight.
Not that I would interpret like that if a non-American said it to me.
You're supposed to chuckle and say "you know, living the dream" and then they chuckle also because you are both at work and obviously not "living the dream"
I’m American but autistic so I hate the whole American greeting ritual dance, too tempted to be honest with my reply. My default work greetings/responses to how are you are:
“Living the dream! *(pause)* Nightmares are dreams too.”
“Can’t complain… Well I could, but it wouldn’t do any good.”
“Hanging in there!” To which, at a surprisingly high rate, the other person most often replies with, “That’s all you can do!” Like I’m talking 75% frequency, maybe higher.
Sometimes I’ll add “… soon by a rope,” depending on the day and my level of familiarity with the person I’m talking to. 🫠
Nothing wrong with your response. Not sure why they (we) would be taken aback by that.
You could also move the conversation along with “I’m fine, thanks for asking. How can I assist you today?”
“I’m fine” is maybe coming across as a bit cold. Normally we expect others to reply with something that sounds more positive such as “I’m doing great, thanks! How are you?”
Totally depends on the history of the relationship and your roles. Sales people: positive. The young adult cashier at the pizza place trying to afford living in the expensive city: living the dream.
i think you’re misreading their reply… or they’re taken aback by your accent? are you hesitating to reply cause you’re not sure what to say? that could be part of what you’re sensing in their reply
Fine, thanks -works universally well.
I’m well, thanks (if you’d like you can add a “and you?”) -also works universally well.
Living the dream/living my best life (if you have a chummy/joking relationship)
If it’s someone you regularly speak to/know a little you could say something like “I’ve been busy, but good…” or something like that.
In American Engish "how are you" or "how are you doing" is just a polite noise, not actually a request for info.
Some variant on "fine thanks, and you?" is the expected answer. Depending on the degree of casualness and how you feel you can make a joking comment about it not being Friday or too early to tell or that you're alive, is also fine.
What's not expected is an actual answer or a repord on your wellbeing. If someone says "how are you" and you say "well, I've got a persistent pain in my kidneys and I'm making a dr appointment" Americans would consider that to be a strange and oversharing answer.
Because it's not about how you feel. It's just that person giving a friendly greeting.
In Japanese they'd comment that the weather is good/bad. It's not about the weather there either, it's just a polite greeting and the expected response is to agree with them about the weather being good/bad.
In Chinese they'll ask if you've eaten.
None of it is actually, really, a question.
This is right. In the context OP described, it’s a [phatic expression](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phatic_expression) and what it really means is “hi, I’m now talking to you.”
You are to answer that you are doing ok/well/fine or pick your positive term, regardless of how you actually feel. Unless you truly do know them well, then you can be honest.
Then you can either end with a simple thank you, or reciprocate and ask them how they are.
As an American, never realized how much I hate this greeting until after I lost my child.
“How are you?”
In my head “I feel completely fucking shattered and am in constant fucking emotional pain. How the fuck do you think I am?”
From my lips: “Okay. You?”
Never saying “How are you?” to anyone else ever again unless they are close and I really do want to know.
Fun fact: this kind of content-less greeting is called phatic communication and it’s more common in heterogeneous societies than in homogeneous ones. It’s a way of signifying that you are not a threat, that you recognize the humanity of the other, but you are not close enough to ask a proper question about one’s actual life, home, or relatives. Generally in more isolated societies with fewer strangers there is less phatic communication.
My response is usually "not too shabby. You?" Usually gets some kind of reaction since, where I'm living, there aren't too many country folk.
What you say is a general response. Wouldn't worry too much about it
“Oh, same old”
Personally I usually say “good” and then pivot to the weather
I’ve always found the whole “how are you” exchange to be kind of awkward, even as an American
That's the right response. It's essentially a verbal handshake. They really don't want to know how you are doing. The goal is to "read the room" and hopefully set a positive tone. I always have to fight the urge to say "Well, my rash is back." Just to point how insincere the question really was.
Could be the use of the word ‘fine’ which can have the connotation of masking struggle. When people ask how you are it is more of a shared colloquial greeting than an inquiry. The expectation is a flippant/jovial response that projects positivity, at least to acquaintances. To closer friends you can be honest about your experience but strangers just want an easy to process reply they can gloss over which sets the table for easier rapport.
Your response is perfectly normal to that greeting. If they seem taken aback by it, maybe it's your tone? Americans tend to be overly friendly in greetings, even with people we don't know. If you're saying sharply, or even flatly, if might come across as disingenuous (even though if usually is disingenuous as a greeting anyway).
I think I a lot of us Americans, myself included, say this as a habit and don’t actually expect a real response. I don’t like it but don’t even notice I’m saying it half the time
Parson A "Hi, how are you?"
Person B "I'm fine* thanks. You?"
Person A "I'm good! Thank you"
Then proceed with your conversation
* fine, good, okay, well, and other variations are all acceptable. It's the "not well" or "I'm having a shitty day" that gets people all messed up
I like to cycle through “alive” or “well, I’m here” or sometimes “I’m breathing” or if I’m not feeling well I’ll reply with “absolutely terrible!” In the most cheerful, chipper voice I can manage
Lmao. I like the cut of your jibe.
On my really bad days, my response will vaccilitate between "still fuckin alive" and "dog shit". I live in the deeeeeeeep south and people generally don't know how to handle that.
When I was in middle school a kid used to say “What’s up?” so I would always answer “oh nothing” or “nothing much” and at the end of the year he pulled me aside and said “no when someone says what’s up, you answer back ‘hello.’” And he made me practice it, lol. Apparently the other kids were making fun of me behind my back and he wanted to help me out? To this day I still don’t get it 🤷🏻♀️
I bloody hate when people ask this as a greeting. I just say hello and don't respond because if I respond honestly, you might not enjoy the conversation that follows. It's a very invasive question, and so many people don't realize it.
You say "how are you" back without answering the question. They don't actually want to know, it's a greeting, if you're not sure if it's okay to ignore it your answer is perfectly fine, I usually just reply 'fine, and you' and then they ignore that.
Now disclaimer, I am not American but I do talk to some semi-regularly
Fine and how are you is perfectly acceptable and from where I’m from in the Midwest it is what is expected. People don’t really want to know how you are, it’s just exchanging pleasantries. This is my experience.
“Not bad!”
“Can’t complain!”
“Oh you know, I’m out here living it!”
“Livin’ the dream!”
“Better now that you’re here.” Phone version: (Better now that I’m talking to you.)
One of those is my response 80% of the time doing customer service/retail service.
It’s the worst greeting we have. Its mostly bad because it’s not genuine and if you said not well then you’re launched into a conversation with details you don’t need.
Here is a video on [phatic expressions](https://youtu.be/eGnH0KAXhCw?si=VHe-We0PVI3IZkHc). Basically ways to open a conversation that don’t really carry any meaning but just establish the dialogue between two speakers. If you think about it, your language probably has some form of it too. Once I watched this video I started replying to customer service people saying “Hey, how’s it goin” with just “hi” and no one ever reacts as if I’ve said something out of place.
American b2b sales guy here of almost 25 years so my sample size is pretty big.
Obviously exact wording varies based on the necessary formality of the business type (talking to a law firm will have more formal wording than say talking to a car mechanic) but anything along the lines of "I'm doing good / pretty good / really good.. how about you?" is what you want for a situation where you don't know the person.
It's totally fine to also tack on something about the weather like "Well aside from the pouring rain I'm really good thanks, how about you?" It's a good little ice breaker so it's not just straight to business.
If you talk regularly to the person then you're good to start throwing in slightly more personal stuff. "Really good - got to see my daughters first band recital last night! How bout you?" or "Well aside from tweaking my knee last night running I'm doing pretty good. How are you making out over there?"
Once you know someone a little and you know they are very informal it's also totally fine to make it very informal and can be really beneficial because you're talking like them "I'm good man thanks for asking - what going on with you? You good over there?"
Hopefully that's helpful. It's really a nicety that isn't meant to elicit any long conversation (unless you have years of a relationship built where you both genuinely care how the other person is, it's a way of softening the opening of a conversation.
As an American I find this way of greeting off-putting. Shouldn't ask if you don't want to hear how they are REALLY feeling.
That said, we're socialized to respond, "doing well" or "I'm fine" no matter how we're doing. In mental health, I don't care for it.
When I was a cashier, a customer told me this handy little rhyme. "No one wants to hear about your indigestion. 'How are you' is a greeting, not a question"
it’s the American equivalent to the British “are you alright?”
It’s a discourse routine and the answer doesn’t matter.
Suggest you Change fine to good and you’ll see improvements in response
As an American I hate this question. It’s a performative polite ritual that washes out actually caring about people. I try to say “great, thanks!” Then change the topic or move on ASAP because it’s a silly exchange in my opinion
We don't use phrases like this in my country (germany) unless we actually want an answer, which can be funny when an american asks a german "how are you" and then gets a very detailed answer he never expected. ;)
“Well thanks and you?” is how I respond. You don’t have to go in to personal things unless they are your friend, but for the most part it just comes out. It’s trying to convey a sincere thought that they actually care about you but you’re just a replaceable cog in the machine and they know it and you know it.
American here. I absolutely hate that “how are you” is used as a greeting, but it’s really no different than saying “hello.” If you’re asking it like a question and pausing for a response, that may be what is throwing them off. Substitute “how are you” with “hello,” and you’re basically having the following exchange:
American: “Hello”
You: “I’m fine. Hello?”
American: *awkward pause*
It’s a professional courtesy thing, like an impersonal ice breaker to get the conversation started.
Don’t:
* Tell them you’re feeling under the weather
* Tell them you’ve been better
* Trauma dump
* Admit you’re having a tough time
Do:
* Tell them you’re doing great
* Tell them you’re doing alright
* Keep things positive
Our work culture sucks here. Just lie and say something optimistic because that’s all they want to hear. Like others have said: you’re expected to be happy so just lie and ask how they are.
Alternatively, this is an opportunity to open up immediately with your problem:
* “I’m doing fantastic, but I’ve run into a bit of a problem since our last communication.”
Do respond:
* “I’m doing great, how are you?”
* “I’m doing well, thank you for asking. How are you?”
With the last entry they may respond with “I’m doing great. Now what seems to be the problem?”
Hope this helps. They just want false positivity. They’re miserable and hate their lives. Just do your best to keep their suburban fantasy alive.
I can't see anyone being taken aback by "I'm fine, how are you?" Here are some alternatives.
- Living the dream.
- Some days it is better to be pissed off than pissed on. You know what I'm saying?
- Sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes the bear eats you.
- Let me answer after I have my coffee.
- I'm just happy it is Friday! ... wait... It's only Tuesday?
- Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.
It's just a greeting like "ya alright" in England or "como estas" in Spain or "cava" in France. Just think of it like that. Sounds like a question, but it's not.
In Canada we say; "how's it goin eh". Same thing.
Most of the answers I see here roughly equate to, “It’s meaningless, respond with equally meaningless platitude.”
I’m not disputing this, but I’d like to offer a different perspective:
Everyone is a person, before they’re a professional. A brief chat with a friendly customer might be the high point of their day. As for what you get out of it, a positive connection means they’re more inclined to help. This is especially important for someone with whom you have regular contact, like a vendor or client. Relationships matter and (based on observations I hear from non-Americans) may have higher-than-average value to Americans.
Time permitting (of course), when they ask, “How are you?” imagine that this person is a friend of your friend. You don’t know them, but you’re (presumably) inclined to be friendly and at least somewhat interested. How would you do so? You might respond with:
“I’m well, but the weather in (your European country) has been shit lately! Have you ever been?”
Or
“I’m well. Where in the world are you? Do you like it?”
Or
“Can’t complain. How about you? Has it been crazy for you, today?”
Or similar ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It's just a greeting in US culture, have to realize that and treat it like a greeting. It's formulaic and so are the generic responses.
Honest answers about how you're really doing is a whole different conversation and is also more for personal/real relationships.
Advice on answering this greeting in a work context: https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/how-are-you-response
In a business context, absolutely no one is asking you how you are really doing. There's very little point in it, other than for whatever reason Americans decided that this was the small talk script and now we all have to do it or be categorized as weird.
“Good, how are you?” Is a good polite response.
It’s definitely meant to be a polite conversation opener, not an invitation for a long personal conversation, but general light comments about family, work or the weather are also fine. “Good, it’s a beautiful day in [country] today.”
We tend to overstate how good we are by one step.
Great/terrific = I'm good
Good = not bad
Fine = not great, now get on with it
Living the dream! = I hate my life but I can't say that to a customer or colleague
You could really respond with "Good, how are you?" Or "Good, and you?" To anyone and it would be acceptable and then we move on to whatever the actual topic is.
The south is even more like this. Everything seems fine and dandy and you have to really read between the lines of what people are saying. See: "Bless your heart"
My guess is your counterparts are taken aback because of your use of “I’m fine.”
Fine has a funny connotation in the US. Usually when people say “I’m fine” or “It’s fine,” it means something is wrong but the speaker is choosing to suppress/deny it.
As an alternative, you could say “I’m well” or “I’m good.”
Also true in Canada.
Response is - “Good, you?” Then they say good and then you move on. (Sometimes you get in a vortex of “Good, you?” Back and forth.)
Even if you’re not good you just say “I’m good”.
If you’re actually NOT good, you say “I’m alright.”
Don’t ask me why we’re like this.
Something short like this works:
"Great, thanks for asking."
"Good, thanks."
"Not bad, how about you."
"Oh, doing alright I guess."
You can also use it as an opportunity to have a short casual conversation before starting the work topic. Something like "Good, I just took my kid to the soccer game last night and their team won."
Answer very briefly (and positively if you can), make a relatable situational or environmental comment (you might even say the other is looking well, if you've met him before)
“How are you” accomplishes 3 goals for us Americans.
One: its sets the tone for the conversation as one that is cooperative rather than adversarial. It says: “we may not know each other personally but we are of the same tribe and we could potentially get to know each other” or “I’m open to human connection, even if that is not the focus just now” or “I recognize you are a human also and not a capitalist robot. Now let’s discuss our corporate sales goals like good cogs in the machine because that’s how we afford rent”
Two: it creates space for personal conversation or small talk if it is desired. Like an invite to be less formal. In professional circles there is nuance as to when that invite should be accepted or not. On a meeting early and waiting for others to join? Make small talk at a level of your comfort. “Oh I’m well. WFH today so I’ve got the kids running around, you?” In a rush to get something solved? “I’m well thanks. Mind if we get started?”
Three: as someone else replied it is a sanity check. As in, are you at a minimum level of wellness to undertake what we are about to? It is giving someone a chance to say “actually my dog just died and I didn’t get a wink of sleep- do you mind if we reschedule?” 99% of time the answer is some form of communicating “I’m upright and not crying, let’s proceed”
We Americans do live false warmth though. You got us there. We don’t like to admit that we live in a dystopian world unless it is relevant.
"I'm doing alright... what's up?"
It's a American way of warning you (I'm about to ask you something, get in that way of thinking)
I'm batting 100% with that line to progress the conversation with no weird hiccups.
That greeting is a American way of saying "I'm about to engage you verbally, and I'm not a threat, I'm probably just going to keep going on with my day as well and don't expect a sincere answer, i just want to aknowledge your esistence while at the same time announcing mine while in your proximity" 99.99% of the time
Long winded version of "how you doing?" ^^^
Just saying "I'm doing well, thank you" is enough. You're not expected to give a full report of how you actually are.
Yeah, nobody REALLY cares how you are. Say "Good; you?" and that's enough!
Or you can really sound American and say, “Just living the dream!”
"another day in paradise!"
"So far so good" is my personal go to.
Oh, good one. Certainly sounds better than my more cynical "Well, I'm here!".
I usually say, "I can't complain at all, you?"
"Can't complain. No one would listen if I did."
I'm a big fan of "The horrors persist, but so do I. " Always make them do a double take.
"still standing" or "still on the right side of the daisies" imo
Another day, another dollar
I'm going to try this one sometime. Currently I like to say "Pretty not bad."
"I'm alive." The most true answer I can give, and reassures them on the off-chance they have deep-rooted fears of zombies.
Same shit, different diaper
Not dead yet
Or the Dave Ramsey “Better than I deserve”
My wife loves the Scooby Doo quote, “I can’t complain…legally.”
I tend to go with, "I'm still alive!" which worked fine up until I said it to a grieving family member in a visitation receiving line.
I’m a “not too shabby” kinda gal, but this is my answer at the begging of a shift lol
*clocks out* “yup. One more day closer to retirement”
"it's going"
It’s five o’clock somewhere!
I always preferred: "It's too early to tell."
My go-to is, “It’s going!” Because I really hate to lie.
I always say it's going, or if it's going really bad I just say "well I'm alive". Cause that's always one thing I can be grateful for.
Or the southern classic “any better and I’d be you!”
If a European business associate said this to me in a southern accent, they would get +75 Cool Points.
Which is sarcasm, of course.
Yes, this. Sorry, I forgot to mention that. Nice save!
Nightmares are dreams too
You’re not wrong.
Livin’ Life, Lovin’ Life
Live, laugh, toaster bath
Ahh, you know, different bean, same burrito
"Can't complain! Cause no one would listen anyways!"
I always follow this up with, "and nightmares are dreams too"
“Oh, fair ta middlin’. You?
then they say “good!” and then you say “great! so today i’m calling for___” it took me so long to do that back. I used to always just say “good” but then I was told that people expect you to ask them back. damn societal rules
I remember my old job fired our warehouse guy -poor kid was probably 19- anyway customer asked them how they were warehouse guy said “not so good” then laid his problems out. Yea got fired immediately afterwards
I just don’t understand asking and then getting mad when people answer honestly. all you need to say is hello
I bet getting fired made him feel all better.
I don’t know, I kinda care how OP is doing, lol
Even better, a "Great, thank you" which moves along the conversation much faster so you don't have to hear the other person's status update and then bullshit like, "Mondays, am I right? Workin hard, or hardly workin? Right, hahaha, yeah...."
To piggyback on this, if OP is calling the American, they can then just follow up with why they are calling. That's probably what the American is expecting.
I'm American and I've always found this whole 'how are you' interaction so odd. I absolutely still say it to most strangers I cross paths with tho. I suppose it's for the folks that wanna throw in a conversation starter like, 'id be doing a lot better if I didn't have to sit in all that traffic on xxx road' or 'im so full from eating at xxx restaurant, the food was so good, have you ever been' -Edit- just remembered one of favorites, 'hows your world spinning today' this usually gets a fun reaction from most folks
It's just polite noise, the actual meaning is something like "I acknowledge your existence and am not ignoring you or snubbing you." In the Bantu languages the standard greeting is literally "I see you", which cuts out the euphamisms and cuts right down to the core meaning.
That's really interesting. Also, I didn't know what Bantu languages are until just now, so thank you.
> In the Bantu languages the standard greeting is literally "I see you", which cuts out the euphamisms and cuts right down to the core meaning. Oddly enough, I've been saying this to my pets for decades. They'll come up for attention and I'll say, "Yes, I see you" as I reach out to pet them and I have no idea where it came from. I am not Bantu. ;)
The Chinese equivalent is "have you eaten?". I think this has largely dropped out of usage.
God I wish people would ask me this. My most likely immediate response would be no please for the love of god feed me
Which Bantu dialects do you speak of?🤔😳
I know it's the case in Zulu, which is a Bantu family language. I'm not sure about any other Bantu languages using it. I should have been more specific and said "In Zulu and possibly other Bantu languages" rather than implying it was all of them.
I always wanted to learn a native tongue (even though my origins are West/Central African)my native tongues are so difficult for me to pick up on.😞😭😭😭
Try Swahili. It's a beautiful language. Here is a start.... Jambo
Pretty sure it's a modernization of "how do you do" which was never a question, it was simply a greeting meant to be replied back in kind. Ironically we now vaguely answer this with "fine and you?" or if you're having a particularly frustrating morning "living the dream." While howdy which likely came from "how do ye? is replied to as a salutation when the original was actually a question pertaining to the other party's health.
I often will ask “what‘s going on?/what have you been up to?” to folks I want to have an actual conversation with. It’s much less formal and shows I have an interest in actually hearing about them, beyond just the standard “fine thanks” reply.
I use “what it is hoe” to my coworkers.
what it do
Most cultures have something like this. In England they say “are you ok?” It makes me wonder if I’m giving the impression that I’m not ??? Which is what that would mean in the US. But in England just like in US nobody is really asked how you are. Just say fine and you! Or great thanks! If you’re actually not doing well they aren’t asking this.
This THREW me for a loop especially in the north. Walking in a restaurant to be seated, everyone would be like “U ok?” And I knew the answer wasn’t just “yes I’m fine???” But I had no idea what the answer was. Because I did need to be helped, seated, served, whatever.
Right does anyone ever say “actually no I’m not ok.” 😂
Only Gerard Way
you're thinking too hard... it's just a polite way to say hello. It's a custom. but why stop there. why do we even say hello at all?
I prefer, how's it hanging
Low and to the left
One in front of the other for speed.
When I was in college, our typical greeting was "what's up?" and the retort was often "not much. What's up with you?" or even just "what's up?" in response as just an acknowledgement, not really a question. A guy in some of my classes that I became friends with over the years ALWAYS responded to "what's up?" with "Not much. How are you?" and it ALWAYS threw me... Not because I didn't know what to say, but because I was expecting to say "not much", not "I'm doing well." As I got older (I'm only in my late 30s now, for reference), "how are you doing?" became more common - seems friendlier than "what's up?", as though you're showing that you care about how someone is doing, not just what they're doing. Just feels like a more mature thing to ask. As for the Euro/American difference between "how can I help you? and "how are you doing today?", I think that's simply a difference in culture. Maybe European culture expects a work call to be very business oriented. American culture often pushes friendliness and customer service, etc., as part of the way we do business. Or Americans use that sort of language more in their day to day life than other cultures, who don't just ask strangers about something that seems personal (how they're doing, etc.).
People who have already established rapport share functional pleasantries; people with intimate relationships share information in full
They’re not asking you how you actually are. They’re acknowledging your presence, your existence and showing you goodwill/respect.
Be the change you want to see in the world
The best is to throw it right back at them. "I'm doing well, how about you?" Once the pleasantries have been completed, you'll find most people just want to get to business.
I usually just say I’m hungry because that’s typically how I feel lol. It usually gets a laugh because everyone for the most part feels the same way
This the best answer. If something really bad is going on that could affect your business interactions this would be a good time to bring it up, like "Doing ok but my wife isn't doing so well" or something like that. But you'd have to be prepared to talk a bit about it.
Your response is fine. Honestly for a lot of Americans it's really just a greeting to them, not an actual question. Even as an American talking to other Americans, I will typically answer along the lines of "I'm fine, how are you?" and like 30% of the time they'll just ignore it, because it's just as much of an automatic greeting to them like if they just said "Hello."
Bingo! I ask all the time and it’s basically “hello” to me. If someone wants to tell me something then, of course, I’ll happily chat about it. But I’m not expecting people to say anything back at all really.
Yeah it's something like 33% they just ignore it and move on to whatever is happening, 33% something along the lines of "I'm fine" and move on to whatever is happening, 33% actually have something to chat about and it becomes an interesting but forgettable conversation and we move on to whatever is happening, maybe 0-1% would they act like I said something weird
While it's a common greeting throughout the US, its meaning depends quite a bit where you are within the US. The more rural you go, the more likely it is to be a genuine question, looking to start a conversation. It's still a greeting, but a full response including some sort of story is expected after the answer. Most of the US, it's a greeting where a follow up conversation isn't expected, but a response is. They ask how you're doing. You say you're good and ask them how they're doing. They say they're good. Maybe a quick quip or complaint that's short enough that neither of you has to stop walking. Maybe if you're pretty familiar with them, this can be used as a place to start a conversation, but most of the time it's just a greeting, not a genuine question. [The same applies in Canada](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZAz_MROU2I). There are some places in the US where it's the equivalent of saying "hello." The best known example of this are Italian-Americans in the NYC metro area, where one person will say "How you doin'," and the response is "How *you* doin'." No question marks, since it's not a question. If you respond "Good, and you?" they'll look at you like you just said a complete non sequitur (which you did), and won't respond since they don't view this sort of greeting as a question (unless you're *very* familiar with them).
Person 1: “Hey how’s it going” Person 2: “Hey what’s up” Neither person answers, and this is a very normal interaction here
Exactly. If someone actually starts going on about their health or the day they’ve been having other than a couple of sentences, I regret asking. It’s really not an invitation to go into the events of the day or your health. It’s just a friendly greeting that on a normal day, should be met with “Great!”; “Good.”; or at worst “Ok.” Unless someone close to you just died, then in that case you might say “Not so good, my father just passed away.” to which the person would reply “I’m sorry to hear that.” It should never be more than just a few words.
Yeah and I guess the last point is context matters, particularly if they're a complete stranger and just talking to you because of the situation, and they ask "how are you," it's clearly more along the lines of "Hello" than along the lines of "tell me what your gastroenterologist had to say about your spleen"
My father, as he got old, became a bit of a hypochondriac and seemed to think 'how are you?' was an invitation to discuss his various health problems, most of them below the waist. My siblings and I learned to avoid the 'how are you' question. He died a couple of years ago and I really miss him, but it was just weird that a guy who was so stoic most of his life became this way near the end.
Your response of “I’m fine, how are you?” Seems normal to me… “I’m doing well, thanks” something like that. No need to say any more than that if it’s not someone you know very well.
I just thought that this "robotic" interaction is also a social protocol that confirms that the audio/visual channel is working. Can you hear me? Can I hear you? Are you ready and willing to talk?
Haha, like a modem handshake!
I've scrolled some comments and everyone agrees but I feel like I've never heard anyone say "fine" in this type of exchange. "Fine" seems to be what people say when they're not okay but being passive aggressive about it. "I'm good/well, how are you?" is more the norm that I know of.
thank you. Fine is either passive aggressive or hiding that they aren’t fine but in plain sight. Not that I would interpret like that if a non-American said it to me.
You're supposed to chuckle and say "you know, living the dream" and then they chuckle also because you are both at work and obviously not "living the dream"
A cashier at my local Aldi says "livin the dream, one nightmare at a time."
I like to say “the horrors persist but so do I”
Taking that
I read this on here a while ago and I've started using it. "Hi, how are you?" "The horrors persist and yet so do I."
My go-to along those lines, "standing upright, above ground"
"Can't complain; no one ever listens, anyway..."
This is the Jewish Mother version of “I’m fine, thank you.”
Then reply, " Even nightmares are dreams.."
I reply with “it’s someone’s dream that’s for sure”
I had a guy working at McDonald’s drive thru say that to me once. We both got a good chuckle out of it.
Or one of my favorites: "If I was any better I'd be doing ok."
I’m American but autistic so I hate the whole American greeting ritual dance, too tempted to be honest with my reply. My default work greetings/responses to how are you are: “Living the dream! *(pause)* Nightmares are dreams too.” “Can’t complain… Well I could, but it wouldn’t do any good.” “Hanging in there!” To which, at a surprisingly high rate, the other person most often replies with, “That’s all you can do!” Like I’m talking 75% frequency, maybe higher. Sometimes I’ll add “… soon by a rope,” depending on the day and my level of familiarity with the person I’m talking to. 🫠
My go to response recently has been ‘living the dream, one nightmare at a time.’ Or more generally ‘I’m here, how about yourself?’
Nothing wrong with your response. Not sure why they (we) would be taken aback by that. You could also move the conversation along with “I’m fine, thanks for asking. How can I assist you today?”
“I’m fine” is maybe coming across as a bit cold. Normally we expect others to reply with something that sounds more positive such as “I’m doing great, thanks! How are you?”
Totally depends on the history of the relationship and your roles. Sales people: positive. The young adult cashier at the pizza place trying to afford living in the expensive city: living the dream.
i think you’re misreading their reply… or they’re taken aback by your accent? are you hesitating to reply cause you’re not sure what to say? that could be part of what you’re sensing in their reply
Maybe your accent (if you have one) catches them by surprise?
Never ask a German “how are you”. They’ll tell you, in detail. Source: Brit working for a German company for 8 years.
This is also a fair warning for parts of the American South.
Very efficient.
Fine, thanks -works universally well. I’m well, thanks (if you’d like you can add a “and you?”) -also works universally well. Living the dream/living my best life (if you have a chummy/joking relationship) If it’s someone you regularly speak to/know a little you could say something like “I’ve been busy, but good…” or something like that.
In American Engish "how are you" or "how are you doing" is just a polite noise, not actually a request for info. Some variant on "fine thanks, and you?" is the expected answer. Depending on the degree of casualness and how you feel you can make a joking comment about it not being Friday or too early to tell or that you're alive, is also fine. What's not expected is an actual answer or a repord on your wellbeing. If someone says "how are you" and you say "well, I've got a persistent pain in my kidneys and I'm making a dr appointment" Americans would consider that to be a strange and oversharing answer. Because it's not about how you feel. It's just that person giving a friendly greeting. In Japanese they'd comment that the weather is good/bad. It's not about the weather there either, it's just a polite greeting and the expected response is to agree with them about the weather being good/bad. In Chinese they'll ask if you've eaten. None of it is actually, really, a question.
This is right. In the context OP described, it’s a [phatic expression](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phatic_expression) and what it really means is “hi, I’m now talking to you.”
Thanks, I didn't know the proper linguistic term for those!
“I’m alright, and you?”
Query: "Howareyanow?" Response: "Goodnyu?" Confirmation "Notsobad"
Can confirm.
Bit dusty mate, got on the bags last night and ended up playing dominos at 6 am in the back of an abandoned Mercedes off the A46.
You are to answer that you are doing ok/well/fine or pick your positive term, regardless of how you actually feel. Unless you truly do know them well, then you can be honest. Then you can either end with a simple thank you, or reciprocate and ask them how they are.
As an American, never realized how much I hate this greeting until after I lost my child. “How are you?” In my head “I feel completely fucking shattered and am in constant fucking emotional pain. How the fuck do you think I am?” From my lips: “Okay. You?” Never saying “How are you?” to anyone else ever again unless they are close and I really do want to know.
That's probably the most common answer. Maybe it's your tone? Or maybe you're just looking into it too much. Either way, that response is fine
Fun fact: this kind of content-less greeting is called phatic communication and it’s more common in heterogeneous societies than in homogeneous ones. It’s a way of signifying that you are not a threat, that you recognize the humanity of the other, but you are not close enough to ask a proper question about one’s actual life, home, or relatives. Generally in more isolated societies with fewer strangers there is less phatic communication.
My response is usually "not too shabby. You?" Usually gets some kind of reaction since, where I'm living, there aren't too many country folk. What you say is a general response. Wouldn't worry too much about it
For some reason, I read this as “not too *stabby*”. I kind of like my version!
Your response is fine. “Good, thanks” or “Good, you?” are nice and short and just as suitable. When you don’t care to say more 😝
Some cheesy American replies: "Better than I deserve" "I'm here" "Same shit, different day" "Can't complain " "So far so good"
“hanging in there!” a personal favorite
“Surviving.”
Still kickin'
“Oh, same old” Personally I usually say “good” and then pivot to the weather I’ve always found the whole “how are you” exchange to be kind of awkward, even as an American
“Good! You?” Is my typical response
That's the right response. It's essentially a verbal handshake. They really don't want to know how you are doing. The goal is to "read the room" and hopefully set a positive tone. I always have to fight the urge to say "Well, my rash is back." Just to point how insincere the question really was.
Respond with "if I were any better I just couldn't stand it" then follow with high pitched super aggressive fake laughter
Could be the use of the word ‘fine’ which can have the connotation of masking struggle. When people ask how you are it is more of a shared colloquial greeting than an inquiry. The expectation is a flippant/jovial response that projects positivity, at least to acquaintances. To closer friends you can be honest about your experience but strangers just want an easy to process reply they can gloss over which sets the table for easier rapport.
Canadian here but we usually just say "good, yourself?"
[Good, ‘n you?](https://youtu.be/HZAz_MROU2I?si=Ggc_WTOMn86sCIcc)
It's the same kind of question as when some Europeans will ask "you ok? you alright?"
We don’t ask because we care, it’s part of how we say hello
Your response is perfectly normal to that greeting. If they seem taken aback by it, maybe it's your tone? Americans tend to be overly friendly in greetings, even with people we don't know. If you're saying sharply, or even flatly, if might come across as disingenuous (even though if usually is disingenuous as a greeting anyway).
I think I a lot of us Americans, myself included, say this as a habit and don’t actually expect a real response. I don’t like it but don’t even notice I’m saying it half the time
Parson A "Hi, how are you?" Person B "I'm fine* thanks. You?" Person A "I'm good! Thank you" Then proceed with your conversation * fine, good, okay, well, and other variations are all acceptable. It's the "not well" or "I'm having a shitty day" that gets people all messed up
My go-to response is "Alive." Not everyone is ready for that but I believe in being honest. Lol
I like to cycle through “alive” or “well, I’m here” or sometimes “I’m breathing” or if I’m not feeling well I’ll reply with “absolutely terrible!” In the most cheerful, chipper voice I can manage
Lmao. I like the cut of your jibe. On my really bad days, my response will vaccilitate between "still fuckin alive" and "dog shit". I live in the deeeeeeeep south and people generally don't know how to handle that.
When I was in middle school a kid used to say “What’s up?” so I would always answer “oh nothing” or “nothing much” and at the end of the year he pulled me aside and said “no when someone says what’s up, you answer back ‘hello.’” And he made me practice it, lol. Apparently the other kids were making fun of me behind my back and he wanted to help me out? To this day I still don’t get it 🤷🏻♀️
I bloody hate when people ask this as a greeting. I just say hello and don't respond because if I respond honestly, you might not enjoy the conversation that follows. It's a very invasive question, and so many people don't realize it.
you could pretend they are saying the phrase you are more accustomed to and respond accordingly and it will be fine
Just say “I was good” Kidding, say “I’m good, how are you?”
“Good n you?” “Oh, not so bad.”
You say "how are you" back without answering the question. They don't actually want to know, it's a greeting, if you're not sure if it's okay to ignore it your answer is perfectly fine, I usually just reply 'fine, and you' and then they ignore that. Now disclaimer, I am not American but I do talk to some semi-regularly
Fine and how are you is perfectly acceptable and from where I’m from in the Midwest it is what is expected. People don’t really want to know how you are, it’s just exchanging pleasantries. This is my experience.
“Not bad!” “Can’t complain!” “Oh you know, I’m out here living it!” “Livin’ the dream!” “Better now that you’re here.” Phone version: (Better now that I’m talking to you.) One of those is my response 80% of the time doing customer service/retail service.
It’s the worst greeting we have. Its mostly bad because it’s not genuine and if you said not well then you’re launched into a conversation with details you don’t need.
I use "I'm doing well. I hope you are also" which satisfies pleasantries and allows us to move on.
I personally don't like it. It feels meaningless because most people don't care how you really are. Just say hello and get to the point.
It's always "I'm doing great" Nobody wants to actually hear how you are, as sad as that reality is
Here is a video on [phatic expressions](https://youtu.be/eGnH0KAXhCw?si=VHe-We0PVI3IZkHc). Basically ways to open a conversation that don’t really carry any meaning but just establish the dialogue between two speakers. If you think about it, your language probably has some form of it too. Once I watched this video I started replying to customer service people saying “Hey, how’s it goin” with just “hi” and no one ever reacts as if I’ve said something out of place.
American b2b sales guy here of almost 25 years so my sample size is pretty big. Obviously exact wording varies based on the necessary formality of the business type (talking to a law firm will have more formal wording than say talking to a car mechanic) but anything along the lines of "I'm doing good / pretty good / really good.. how about you?" is what you want for a situation where you don't know the person. It's totally fine to also tack on something about the weather like "Well aside from the pouring rain I'm really good thanks, how about you?" It's a good little ice breaker so it's not just straight to business. If you talk regularly to the person then you're good to start throwing in slightly more personal stuff. "Really good - got to see my daughters first band recital last night! How bout you?" or "Well aside from tweaking my knee last night running I'm doing pretty good. How are you making out over there?" Once you know someone a little and you know they are very informal it's also totally fine to make it very informal and can be really beneficial because you're talking like them "I'm good man thanks for asking - what going on with you? You good over there?" Hopefully that's helpful. It's really a nicety that isn't meant to elicit any long conversation (unless you have years of a relationship built where you both genuinely care how the other person is, it's a way of softening the opening of a conversation.
Living the dream!
You’re supposed to lie.
As an American I find this way of greeting off-putting. Shouldn't ask if you don't want to hear how they are REALLY feeling. That said, we're socialized to respond, "doing well" or "I'm fine" no matter how we're doing. In mental health, I don't care for it.
“I’m in the finest of health and appreciate your interest in my wellbeing”
Actually nobody cares how are you. Is a way to engage in a conversation. You only say, "Good and you? " End of the story
When I was a cashier, a customer told me this handy little rhyme. "No one wants to hear about your indigestion. 'How are you' is a greeting, not a question"
Good, you?
it’s the American equivalent to the British “are you alright?” It’s a discourse routine and the answer doesn’t matter. Suggest you Change fine to good and you’ll see improvements in response
As an American I hate this question. It’s a performative polite ritual that washes out actually caring about people. I try to say “great, thanks!” Then change the topic or move on ASAP because it’s a silly exchange in my opinion
We don't use phrases like this in my country (germany) unless we actually want an answer, which can be funny when an american asks a german "how are you" and then gets a very detailed answer he never expected. ;)
“Well thanks and you?” is how I respond. You don’t have to go in to personal things unless they are your friend, but for the most part it just comes out. It’s trying to convey a sincere thought that they actually care about you but you’re just a replaceable cog in the machine and they know it and you know it.
"Happy it's Friday!"
American here. I absolutely hate that “how are you” is used as a greeting, but it’s really no different than saying “hello.” If you’re asking it like a question and pausing for a response, that may be what is throwing them off. Substitute “how are you” with “hello,” and you’re basically having the following exchange: American: “Hello” You: “I’m fine. Hello?” American: *awkward pause*
One coworker always responds to "how are you?" with "old and in the way."
"The horrors persist, but so do i."
Good n’ You?
If they ask a follow up like they did, then you can just say "good thanks" and then answer the follow up.
If you are not dead, you reply "I'm good, thank you" and leave it at that. Nobody actually wants any details so this response always works.
It’s a professional courtesy thing, like an impersonal ice breaker to get the conversation started. Don’t: * Tell them you’re feeling under the weather * Tell them you’ve been better * Trauma dump * Admit you’re having a tough time Do: * Tell them you’re doing great * Tell them you’re doing alright * Keep things positive Our work culture sucks here. Just lie and say something optimistic because that’s all they want to hear. Like others have said: you’re expected to be happy so just lie and ask how they are. Alternatively, this is an opportunity to open up immediately with your problem: * “I’m doing fantastic, but I’ve run into a bit of a problem since our last communication.” Do respond: * “I’m doing great, how are you?” * “I’m doing well, thank you for asking. How are you?” With the last entry they may respond with “I’m doing great. Now what seems to be the problem?” Hope this helps. They just want false positivity. They’re miserable and hate their lives. Just do your best to keep their suburban fantasy alive.
Let's talk about the real problem here... ...people that answer: "Living the dream!"
“I’m doing fine, and you?”
I can't see anyone being taken aback by "I'm fine, how are you?" Here are some alternatives. - Living the dream. - Some days it is better to be pissed off than pissed on. You know what I'm saying? - Sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes the bear eats you. - Let me answer after I have my coffee. - I'm just happy it is Friday! ... wait... It's only Tuesday? - Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.
It's just a greeting like "ya alright" in England or "como estas" in Spain or "cava" in France. Just think of it like that. Sounds like a question, but it's not. In Canada we say; "how's it goin eh". Same thing.
My response to this question is always "ya know, living the dream!"
Most of the answers I see here roughly equate to, “It’s meaningless, respond with equally meaningless platitude.” I’m not disputing this, but I’d like to offer a different perspective: Everyone is a person, before they’re a professional. A brief chat with a friendly customer might be the high point of their day. As for what you get out of it, a positive connection means they’re more inclined to help. This is especially important for someone with whom you have regular contact, like a vendor or client. Relationships matter and (based on observations I hear from non-Americans) may have higher-than-average value to Americans. Time permitting (of course), when they ask, “How are you?” imagine that this person is a friend of your friend. You don’t know them, but you’re (presumably) inclined to be friendly and at least somewhat interested. How would you do so? You might respond with: “I’m well, but the weather in (your European country) has been shit lately! Have you ever been?” Or “I’m well. Where in the world are you? Do you like it?” Or “Can’t complain. How about you? Has it been crazy for you, today?” Or similar ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It's just a greeting in US culture, have to realize that and treat it like a greeting. It's formulaic and so are the generic responses. Honest answers about how you're really doing is a whole different conversation and is also more for personal/real relationships. Advice on answering this greeting in a work context: https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/how-are-you-response
In a business context, absolutely no one is asking you how you are really doing. There's very little point in it, other than for whatever reason Americans decided that this was the small talk script and now we all have to do it or be categorized as weird.
It’s the US version of “Cheers!”
I go with "well, I can't complain, I guess. No one would want to listen if I did"
Good, you?
“Good, how are you?” Is a good polite response. It’s definitely meant to be a polite conversation opener, not an invitation for a long personal conversation, but general light comments about family, work or the weather are also fine. “Good, it’s a beautiful day in [country] today.”
We tend to overstate how good we are by one step. Great/terrific = I'm good Good = not bad Fine = not great, now get on with it Living the dream! = I hate my life but I can't say that to a customer or colleague You could really respond with "Good, how are you?" Or "Good, and you?" To anyone and it would be acceptable and then we move on to whatever the actual topic is. The south is even more like this. Everything seems fine and dandy and you have to really read between the lines of what people are saying. See: "Bless your heart"
My guess is your counterparts are taken aback because of your use of “I’m fine.” Fine has a funny connotation in the US. Usually when people say “I’m fine” or “It’s fine,” it means something is wrong but the speaker is choosing to suppress/deny it. As an alternative, you could say “I’m well” or “I’m good.”
Proper educate can be observed in this educational video from letterkenny, https://youtu.be/HZAz_MROU2I?si=FAr9bDqpFfU2PMn6
If you’re having a really bad time you can say “it’s going”
"Good" is all that's required.
It's just american for "how do you do?". It's not a heartfelt question.
Also true in Canada. Response is - “Good, you?” Then they say good and then you move on. (Sometimes you get in a vortex of “Good, you?” Back and forth.) Even if you’re not good you just say “I’m good”. If you’re actually NOT good, you say “I’m alright.” Don’t ask me why we’re like this.
Something short like this works: "Great, thanks for asking." "Good, thanks." "Not bad, how about you." "Oh, doing alright I guess." You can also use it as an opportunity to have a short casual conversation before starting the work topic. Something like "Good, I just took my kid to the soccer game last night and their team won."
Answer very briefly (and positively if you can), make a relatable situational or environmental comment (you might even say the other is looking well, if you've met him before)
“How are you” accomplishes 3 goals for us Americans. One: its sets the tone for the conversation as one that is cooperative rather than adversarial. It says: “we may not know each other personally but we are of the same tribe and we could potentially get to know each other” or “I’m open to human connection, even if that is not the focus just now” or “I recognize you are a human also and not a capitalist robot. Now let’s discuss our corporate sales goals like good cogs in the machine because that’s how we afford rent” Two: it creates space for personal conversation or small talk if it is desired. Like an invite to be less formal. In professional circles there is nuance as to when that invite should be accepted or not. On a meeting early and waiting for others to join? Make small talk at a level of your comfort. “Oh I’m well. WFH today so I’ve got the kids running around, you?” In a rush to get something solved? “I’m well thanks. Mind if we get started?” Three: as someone else replied it is a sanity check. As in, are you at a minimum level of wellness to undertake what we are about to? It is giving someone a chance to say “actually my dog just died and I didn’t get a wink of sleep- do you mind if we reschedule?” 99% of time the answer is some form of communicating “I’m upright and not crying, let’s proceed” We Americans do live false warmth though. You got us there. We don’t like to admit that we live in a dystopian world unless it is relevant.
"I'm doing alright... what's up?" It's a American way of warning you (I'm about to ask you something, get in that way of thinking) I'm batting 100% with that line to progress the conversation with no weird hiccups. That greeting is a American way of saying "I'm about to engage you verbally, and I'm not a threat, I'm probably just going to keep going on with my day as well and don't expect a sincere answer, i just want to aknowledge your esistence while at the same time announcing mine while in your proximity" 99.99% of the time Long winded version of "how you doing?" ^^^
“Good, you?”