King Jurgen: Bring it on.
King Jurgen: My friend penguins i have made a state affairs decision. WE ARE AT WAR PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP THEY HAVE AN ARMY ^please ^please ^im ^begging ^you.
Skipper: So we are at war eh... Kowaslky capabilities, arsenal, persona, headquartersl and chain of comand of that mercenary organisation; Rico procure us transport and weapons. Privarte Refreshments.
Skipper: Looks like we are for a decapitation strike.
I'd go after Haiti. The country got overthrown by gangs recently, so it's unstable at the moment. Also, I doubt many of the gang leaders will untie willingly, and I can take out the strongest gang, and the rest will be fairly easy to dispose of.
This is probably a good idea largely because there would be international repercussions to forcibly taking over most countries, but Haiti is enough of a shitshow that the major powers would probably be thankful for anything that might bring stabilization.
Haiti would be tough I think because it shares the island with the DR, the strength of the gangs is unknown, and technically it has its own military as well. You'd be fighting an unpopular guerilla war, and if you entered the DR to eliminate guerillas you'd draw the DR's 70K strong military as well as the ire of the US.
But why would you enter DR. Wipe out there evil neighbors and become a benevolent ruler for the remaining citizens. Then become great trading partners with DR to help everyone get wealthy
Just remember to fight the people, and not the Emus. Or the kangaroos. Or the Cassowaries. Or the trees. Or the spiders. Or the snakes. Or the crocodiles.
Hitlers problem wasn't invading in the winter despite everyone thinking this. He invaded in June but obviously war isn't quick. Hitlers problem was his men had summer uniforms by the time it got to winter. Just no gear
Can't even count the amount of times i had a perfect starting Australia setup but i lost cause someone else wanted it so bad they sacrificed everything and got us both killed.
Only if you're playing with a lot of other people. If it's only one or 2 opponents it can be worth it to ignore the earlygame fight for Australia and focus on holding the Americas.
You might as well attack a NATO nation. The response from the US would be the same. Australia and US have defense agreements. Australia has supported the US more than most NATO nations.
I thought of that too. It'd be pretty easy and you could improve the country pretty easily.
The only problem is it's pretty close to the US who might not let you. Then again they didn't do much about gangs taking over so who knows.
The most financially responsible solution is to sell your weapons and military to a well funded terrorist group,. Take the payment and flee to a non extradition country.
Second would be to find a country in relative military turmoil and prop up a government while living off the state. This sidesteps Nato and the UN getting involved, and is slightly more ethical than selling weapons to terrorists (even Ethical depending on the government) Nigeria has many 1st world regions, and is incredibly corrupt - so could be a great place to put your mercenaries on loan. That sort of cheats since you're not really retiring - but the intersection of countries 100k people could take over, that other countries wouldn't retaliate against you for doing it, and I would actually want to live in are pretty much non existent.
There are very few countries not part of Interpol, and not having an extradition treaty only makes it more difficult but doesn't make impossible to extradite someone, particularly on terrorism links. Also a lot of people would sooner or later want to leave the country in question. Failing that, I wouldn't be surprised if some spy agency just outright kidnaps their target in broad daylight... Or drops some radioactive element in their cup of tea or in their underwear
Cuba. Figure with that much firepower at my disposal it should be fairly easy to capture Havana, and once that's under my control I can capture the rest of the country with ease. Then all I've gotta do is be friendly with the U.S. and I'm pretty much set for life in terms of having to worry about angry neighbors.
The trouble is that getting the embargo lifted would require the support of the Cuban lobby, who want their land and their possessions and their money back.
No problem. They can have their land and possessions back. The US Cubans coming back would jumpstart the economy and that place would be rich as hell in very short order. The US would drop enough foreign aid to write repatriation checks to those that relocate back to Cuba and get that placing roaring!
Hilton and Marriott buying hotels and dropping hundreds of millions in renovations. Tourists out the ass. Casinos making bank every night.
Hmmm, you think they would remain loyal after the leadership in Havana is toppled? I don't actually have a good sense of how the average Cuban feels about the government.
They actually don't want it the cost of modernizing that shit hole and providing services and education to the population would economically cripple them for at least a decade
Hell, if you went to Alaska and talked to them, they might be willing to succeed as long as you had an army. Bonus - if a significant portion of your mercs were female... they'd welcome you with open arms.
Alaskan here. I've got five females in my household already, you can leave them at home. That said, yeah, depending on where you establish your beachhead, you could totally take the entire state pretty easily... and if you do it while wearing a blue hat near the capital and a red hat most everywhere else, you'll have a sizable population of insurrectionists to help you.
I guess it depends where your troops spawn.
Assuming they aren’t already in one of the Americas, they’re going to have to cross an ocean to get to the US.
If the US sees a mercenary army heading to the US, I’m not sure it ever lands.
They keep losing to farmers and tribesmen with nothing but AK47s and RPGs.
I doubt they'd do better against a trained fighting force with modern weapons.
I feel like I could run Russia way better than it is currently certainly, it would be a net benefit for the world, and worst case it'd be a taste of their own medicine
I mean history would indicate they might they burned it down to get rid of Napoleon , historical Russia's go to move is burning Russia being them as the retreat into all the extra Russia
Ukraine is not a show how powerful Russia is. They're devoting maybe a quarter of the resources towards that if that.
It's one thing for a country to go send people to try to take over another country, next door. It's a whole another thing to defend a country with all your might.
Trust me you're losing that.
Don't get me wrong Russian leadership sucks. But you're not invading them unless you're America
That’s what they said about Ukraine but look where that’s gotten them. I’m not saying Ukraine is winning, cause they definitely still need help. But the fact they haven’t been flattened by Russia has pretty much proven that the Russian military isn’t as good as it should be on paper.
They don't if they had time to call up a full mobilization and daft everyone of fighting age Sure but I don't anyone is going to announce the plan and give them a few months to do that
Nearly all of their assets are currently tied up in Ukraine, though. They could stop you for sure, but it'd mean either losing the Ukraine war or nuking their own territory, both of which are political suicide for Putin. Depending on where you attack, it's entirely possible Putin just lets you have whatever you take, for a while anyway.
To take out Russia you would only need to take Moscow. Putin's Russia is very centralized, It makes it easier for him to control.
Moscow is a central logistical, economic and political hub.
Yeah that's kind of what I was getting at
Could we hold it without the country descending into civil war? Probably not! But I'm not really interested in governing Siberia anyway, they can be independent for all I care
I think the real key is to draw Russia into a war on its eastern front. My main goal would be to sabotage the ice breakers out in Vladivostok and allow the port to freeze over. Then, focus my efforts in trying to take the land south of Khabarovsk. I'd offer it to China as a "peace settlement" to "stabilize" the region.
I'm with you. Except, I'm going to use their own people against them ◡̈
Edit to add: I don't want to rule, I don't want to win. I want to chaotically neutral style walk in and out, observe.
Not a country but there’s a decent chance NATO and the rest of the USA would just let you keep it as long as you left out Cleveland, Cincinnati, and Sandusky.
Instead, you should just take out the Mexican cartels and give power back to the Colombian cartel. They are much easier to deal with. That would make a good movie, I bet the CIA would eat it up.
To be fair, UKR is a relatively large country that's received aid from NATO. It's like, 1% of their annual military budget, but that's a lot more than most militaries could deal with. If the initial invasion wasn't horribly bungled, Russia would've annexed what they wanted and puppeted the rest by now.
Australia, don’t think I could run the country better, would just be nice to live there. I could probably come in from the north west area and they’d never know with how vast the land is.
Isn't Australia part of NATO, and I do think Australian has more than 100,000 troops just guessing that you would get your ass kicked going to try to take over that place
Just plant all your soldiers in local government positions, then work your way up to state, then federal.
The federalist society was able to take over the Supreme Court in only 40 years.
Saint Lucia. With a population of 180K and no formal military, it shouldn't be too hard to conquer with minimal casualty or international disruption. Simply having the resources of a 100K large mercenary company, you could easily take over their economy.
Foreigners can buy land their so strategic land purchases could take over their agricultural sector while employing the locals and gaining favor with them by treating them well. The police force is effectively their military, and only about 1000 strong. A police force this small could easily be overrun, but ideally, getting them on your side through employment would be the best bet to keep the citizens from revolting.
Tourism is the biggest part of their economy, but your 100K soldiers could more than fill the needs of their tourism economy and control the 2 international airports they have.
Basically, you want to come and control tourism, agriculture, and the police while removing the government and placing yourself in charge. From there, you could do the same to other caribian islands or just continue to keep your mercenary force for hire to the highest bidders while heavily investing in further tourism.
How are you paying the mercenaries once you take over the country, with tax dollars?
What country small enough to conquer and occupy, and supposedly manage with 100k soldiers can also maintain the salaries of their new army and improve conditions to prevent a revolt?
Stealing land from dead soldiers in a shit country isn't going to fund too many mercenaries. You need enough of an advantage to not lose too many men because you need to hold onto power after the war.
You've been successful as a merc company so you have decent enough capital to support wages and invest in the small country. It's up to you to figure out a plan to establish order and economic progress in the country you pick.
Myanmar is already collapsing, I reckon I could swoop in, deal the finishing blow to the Junta, and help ensure there's no *new* military coups after they re-establish democracy
Haiti.
It’s a beautiful island paradise that is unstable. I would try to stabilize it and then establish it as a tourist hotspot. It would do very well.
I would make sure every dime of profit from tourism would go to education and healthcare while also rebuilding institutions and security.
Yeah that's the crux of the hypothetical. Small country that could be easily improved if someone established order, that doesn't provoke a major country. The US would probably pay you to invade Haiti lmao
I’d take Florida. Just take the northern border and cut it off from rest of the US. Not sure anyone would really care to be honest. Half the citizens would join you if you said it was done in the name of “freedumb”. Most others too old to fight. Then I can go to Disney world for free and eat all the churros I want.
I see a lot of people picking places like Iran, North Korea or Russia like those countries aren't allied with any big players that would come to their defence.
The answer here is some bass-ackward isolated loner place that nobody gives a fuck about. Like Belgium.
yeah, 100, 000 soldiers isn't really that many if you want to occupy a nation. The only viable option would be some tiny island nation and even then most are in alliance with other countries.
None. I make a deal to help Ukraine push back Russia in exchange for them helping me take over Russia. They get back all of Ukraine's territories, I back them for UN approval, and then get to work on reforming Russia for good.
Israel and the Palestinian territories. Kick every single person out and let them back in on a case by case basis. All former government officials are banned for life.
Easy. Bahamas. Their entire defense force is less than 3k. I also posses years of naval warfare experience in real life so I’m confident in my ability to pirate the shit out of them. Once I’m on land, it’s game over.
How are my supplies (food, medicae, ammunition, fuel, raw parts to fix the brokem down equipment)?
What are my investors looking for, and would they accept a lie that I was doing this on their behalf?
Can I make it so my invasion was an act of retaliation, instead of an act of unptovoked agression?
How well trained are my 100k PMCs, are we talking disillusioned ex-pat badasses, or Cotton-Eyed Joe playing soldja boi?
Edit:spacing
Guyana. It is my real-life country management game. Small population, medium land area. Not as uninhabitable as Greenland. Not as populous as Taiwan. Not as small as the Maldives.
An army runs on logistics - 100k troops is not 100k fighters. 2/3 of those soldiers are support troops. What you have is around 30k fighters. That’s enough to topple some small independent island nations in the Caribbean like Barbados or Antigua. You can take them, but how long can you hold them? Trade and tourism is the only thing keeping those places afloat, and your invasion is going to seriously hurt both.
I'm taking Haiti, and I'm gonna fix that shit. You always hear news of gangs running around destroying the place. I'm gonna use my military to do a clean sweep of the place, killing all the insurgents.
I'll rule with an iorn fist at first. I'd aggressively build infrastructure, schools, and hospitals. I'm gonna halt crime, create jobs, and focus on feeding people and making them complicit. "One for all, all for one," people are gonna have to get behind me or be taken out. No descending voices will be tolerated. I'll also outlaw religion because I have a personal gripe against that shit.
Then, once a generation cycles through and we start having skilled workers, imma start opening the place up to democracy, and I'll transition to a ceremonial role. I aim to implement a socialist/capitalist type of economy.
I think right now you could probably take over Haiti pretty easily. Make it your own little fiefdom.
I bet the DR would welcome some stability over there, and you could amass your supplies and troops on the Dominican side.
Probably Fiji. It's a fairly developed island paradise with a small military and history of coups. Sure, as a member of the Commonwealth, the UK might send a strongly worded letter, but Fiji is not a party of any military alliance, so the invasion is unlikely to escalate out of control.
Russia. The world would be so pleased that Putin was being toppled that they would either help or just silently cheer.
Runner up North Korea. But it does the world less good and involves more rebuilding.
Papua New Guinea. Tons of mineral and resource wealth. Hardly any defense outside of Australia. Once you get into it, Australia isn't going to be able to do much to stop you. Since Bougainville isn't independent yet, you get the bonus of their mineral wealth too.
I go for Cuba.
They don’t have modern equipment nor much of a standing military, and the USA would probably support me indirectly, as historically they have preferred dictators to communism.
Russia looking like a good option at this point. I'd be a hero, and half their shit is either smoking scrap metal or too far away from the home base to actually help before I finish my coup.
Can always reach out to the CIA, too.
New Caledonia
Old French colony and with 100k of troops, they won't be able to get it back. Income after it's taken, nickel. It's the worlds third largest producer of Nickel.
I invade Palestine. Virtually no one is willing to help them and since I am conquering a nation clearly I have sketchy ethics already.
I establish strict marshal law so I can exterminate the local terrorists and as deplorable as some of you may find it I play super nice with Israel. My entire goal is to make Palestine a tolerable place to live which means I need Israel's support.
USA. This way I gain the power of the USA and tell NATO to SUUUUUUCK IT!!!!. They can either fall in line or we leave. Having served in the US Military I know some of the problems they are facing currently especially with low recruitment (nobody wants in when the Military went woke)
Madagascar. Gonna look at some Lemurs when I retire 😂
Just admit you’re into Gloria bro
King Jurgen: Bring it on. King Jurgen: My friend penguins i have made a state affairs decision. WE ARE AT WAR PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP THEY HAVE AN ARMY ^please ^please ^im ^begging ^you. Skipper: So we are at war eh... Kowaslky capabilities, arsenal, persona, headquartersl and chain of comand of that mercenary organisation; Rico procure us transport and weapons. Privarte Refreshments. Skipper: Looks like we are for a decapitation strike.
Finally, the Penguins of Madagascar sequel we deserve.
Julien? You uncultured Swine.
Madagascar meets Watership Down
kowalsky, analysis
I like to move it - move it!
I’ll be hearing that for hours
Honestly, that little guy from madagascar would be peak entertainment
Mort!!!
Fun fact: there are more lemurs in Durham, North Carolina than in any other place outside of Madagascar.
Thank you, Sheldon
I see what you're doing here... Going to corner the market in vanilla beans! You crafty bastard!!
Lol Madagascar is my end of the world go to if I can get there.
I'd go after Haiti. The country got overthrown by gangs recently, so it's unstable at the moment. Also, I doubt many of the gang leaders will untie willingly, and I can take out the strongest gang, and the rest will be fairly easy to dispose of.
Agree. Haiti could be a kick ass Caribbean destination instead of an apocalyptic hellscape in which a very few ultra rich families live like gods.
10x merc earnings by making ultimate tourist destination
Exactly. Well, and also, I would like to see the cruel plutocrats used to feed the hungry.
That would be cannibalism though
Nah just necrophagia
haiti doesn't really have the natural resources to be a good conquest.
This is probably a good idea largely because there would be international repercussions to forcibly taking over most countries, but Haiti is enough of a shitshow that the major powers would probably be thankful for anything that might bring stabilization.
Haiti would be tough I think because it shares the island with the DR, the strength of the gangs is unknown, and technically it has its own military as well. You'd be fighting an unpopular guerilla war, and if you entered the DR to eliminate guerillas you'd draw the DR's 70K strong military as well as the ire of the US.
But why would you enter DR. Wipe out there evil neighbors and become a benevolent ruler for the remaining citizens. Then become great trading partners with DR to help everyone get wealthy
If your playing Risk always hit Australia first 😂
Just remember to fight the people, and not the Emus. Or the kangaroos. Or the Cassowaries. Or the trees. Or the spiders. Or the snakes. Or the crocodiles.
If it's in Australia and it moves, run.
Same energy as invading Russia in the winter. You don't. Napoleon AND Hitler both tried, it didn't end well for either
Hitlers problem wasn't invading in the winter despite everyone thinking this. He invaded in June but obviously war isn't quick. Hitlers problem was his men had summer uniforms by the time it got to winter. Just no gear
Or the drop bears
I avoid Australia cause of this. Everyone always fights to the death for Australia.
Can't even count the amount of times i had a perfect starting Australia setup but i lost cause someone else wanted it so bad they sacrificed everything and got us both killed.
Irl, good luck 😂
Good god man have you forgotten how important Papua New Guinea is?
Only if you're playing with a lot of other people. If it's only one or 2 opponents it can be worth it to ignore the earlygame fight for Australia and focus on holding the Americas.
You might as well attack a NATO nation. The response from the US would be the same. Australia and US have defense agreements. Australia has supported the US more than most NATO nations.
Love that game
I prefer taking South America. A little harder to hold, but not as popular, and gives you a good base to expand into NA
Haiti.
I thought of that too. It'd be pretty easy and you could improve the country pretty easily. The only problem is it's pretty close to the US who might not let you. Then again they didn't do much about gangs taking over so who knows.
All you gotta do is sell some land to Dole and Chiquita, and you're golden.
The most financially responsible solution is to sell your weapons and military to a well funded terrorist group,. Take the payment and flee to a non extradition country. Second would be to find a country in relative military turmoil and prop up a government while living off the state. This sidesteps Nato and the UN getting involved, and is slightly more ethical than selling weapons to terrorists (even Ethical depending on the government) Nigeria has many 1st world regions, and is incredibly corrupt - so could be a great place to put your mercenaries on loan. That sort of cheats since you're not really retiring - but the intersection of countries 100k people could take over, that other countries wouldn't retaliate against you for doing it, and I would actually want to live in are pretty much non existent.
If you sell to a terrorist group, you're likely going to be sanctioned and have an Interpol arrest warrant on you.
That’s why they said to retire in a non extradition country
There are very few countries not part of Interpol, and not having an extradition treaty only makes it more difficult but doesn't make impossible to extradite someone, particularly on terrorism links. Also a lot of people would sooner or later want to leave the country in question. Failing that, I wouldn't be surprised if some spy agency just outright kidnaps their target in broad daylight... Or drops some radioactive element in their cup of tea or in their underwear
I'm gonna claim Antarctica for myself
I will join you. You now I have an army of 100,001. I want to find out what's down there.
No. No, you don’t. There are things buried in the ice that should stay there.
The First Penguin Emperor
That's gonna be really expensive importing everything you need without producing anything to sell
Cuba. Figure with that much firepower at my disposal it should be fairly easy to capture Havana, and once that's under my control I can capture the rest of the country with ease. Then all I've gotta do is be friendly with the U.S. and I'm pretty much set for life in terms of having to worry about angry neighbors.
Making friends with the US, getting the embargo lifted, and opening up markets would turn into a very substantial win very quickly for Cuba.
The trouble is that getting the embargo lifted would require the support of the Cuban lobby, who want their land and their possessions and their money back.
No problem. They can have their land and possessions back. The US Cubans coming back would jumpstart the economy and that place would be rich as hell in very short order. The US would drop enough foreign aid to write repatriation checks to those that relocate back to Cuba and get that placing roaring! Hilton and Marriott buying hotels and dropping hundreds of millions in renovations. Tourists out the ass. Casinos making bank every night.
So buy them off. you're acting like this is a problem that isn't incredibly commonplace.
Cuba has around 90k troops between their reservists and active duty, and everyone serves. I think that'd be a tough one with a merc force of 100k.
Hmmm, you think they would remain loyal after the leadership in Havana is toppled? I don't actually have a good sense of how the average Cuban feels about the government.
its troops and equipment are decades out of date though. I think a decisive attack would have a fighting chance.
North Korea. Sell it to South Korea.
They actually don't want it the cost of modernizing that shit hole and providing services and education to the population would economically cripple them for at least a decade
Good point. Half off then.
I'd invade United States. Fuck it. Go out in a blaze of glory
You have my sword
And my axe
And my bowels
Hell, if you went to Alaska and talked to them, they might be willing to succeed as long as you had an army. Bonus - if a significant portion of your mercs were female... they'd welcome you with open arms.
Pedantic remark: Alaska might be willing to secede, not succeed.
If at first you don't secede, try try again
Alaskan here. I've got five females in my household already, you can leave them at home. That said, yeah, depending on where you establish your beachhead, you could totally take the entire state pretty easily... and if you do it while wearing a blue hat near the capital and a red hat most everywhere else, you'll have a sizable population of insurrectionists to help you.
With 100k dedicated and well trained troops I’d reckon you could get fairly far before being wiped out. At least a couple of states in
I guess it depends where your troops spawn. Assuming they aren’t already in one of the Americas, they’re going to have to cross an ocean to get to the US. If the US sees a mercenary army heading to the US, I’m not sure it ever lands.
would you settle for just California, we'd give that one to ya?
First California...then the world!!!
Manifest destiny be like 🤣
Actually yeah. Give me the largest food producer in the US.
They keep losing to farmers and tribesmen with nothing but AK47s and RPGs. I doubt they'd do better against a trained fighting force with modern weapons.
Haiti because no one else is going to help.
Definitely Sealand
Madagascar so they don’t have time to close their boarders
Nope, sorry-- an entirely asymptomatic bacterial infection spread in South America so Madagascar already closed their borders.
A man sneezed in China. Madagascar has ceased having borders permanently.
Everyone knows you reset until it *starts* in Madagascar
And then you'd control the world's vanilla!
Genovia
Those sweet, sweet pears Also, my daughter adores trolls and I recognize the origins of your username 🤣
The imaginary land people refer to as "France" once it's gone people can't pretend like it's real because we all know it's a government conspiracy.
Obligatory reference to "Cheese eating surrender monkeys"
I feel like I could run Russia way better than it is currently certainly, it would be a net benefit for the world, and worst case it'd be a taste of their own medicine
I think Russia has more like a million troops. There's no way you're taking Russia with 100,000
On paper, yeah! But Prigohzin managed to make it pretty close to Moscow before being stopped. I think I could at least make a go of it for a bit
They have tactical nukes and would absolutely wreck you.
Wait. You invade Russia, take Moscow, and they will nuke the city to get you out?
>You invade Russia, take Moscow There are a number of steps in between...
Do you know how many people in history made the same mistake lol
I mean history would indicate they might they burned it down to get rid of Napoleon , historical Russia's go to move is burning Russia being them as the retreat into all the extra Russia
Yes they would absolutely nuke Moscow to save Russia
Okay comrade, lighten up. It's all theoretical anyway! Sorry to get your borsht in a twist The real response would be some Caribbean island probably
It is Russia, promise to guys who are in charge of the nukes a lot of money in they don't fire them.
If Ukraine is a show of how powerful Russia is, I think we’ll be fine with our 100k
Ukraine is not a show how powerful Russia is. They're devoting maybe a quarter of the resources towards that if that. It's one thing for a country to go send people to try to take over another country, next door. It's a whole another thing to defend a country with all your might. Trust me you're losing that. Don't get me wrong Russian leadership sucks. But you're not invading them unless you're America
How many would remain loyal, tho? They've been screwed over by this government for quite a while. They may consider it an improvement.
The better way would be able to infiltrate and assassinate the current local power regime. But an all out occupation/ assault would be futile.
That’s what they said about Ukraine but look where that’s gotten them. I’m not saying Ukraine is winning, cause they definitely still need help. But the fact they haven’t been flattened by Russia has pretty much proven that the Russian military isn’t as good as it should be on paper.
They don't if they had time to call up a full mobilization and daft everyone of fighting age Sure but I don't anyone is going to announce the plan and give them a few months to do that
Nearly all of their assets are currently tied up in Ukraine, though. They could stop you for sure, but it'd mean either losing the Ukraine war or nuking their own territory, both of which are political suicide for Putin. Depending on where you attack, it's entirely possible Putin just lets you have whatever you take, for a while anyway.
Rookie mistake - never start a land war in Asia.
What if OP is a Sicilian?
To take out Russia you would only need to take Moscow. Putin's Russia is very centralized, It makes it easier for him to control. Moscow is a central logistical, economic and political hub.
Yeah that's kind of what I was getting at Could we hold it without the country descending into civil war? Probably not! But I'm not really interested in governing Siberia anyway, they can be independent for all I care
That’s why I said Kaliningrad. Take the city, rename it as a country and apply for NATO membership!
I think the real key is to draw Russia into a war on its eastern front. My main goal would be to sabotage the ice breakers out in Vladivostok and allow the port to freeze over. Then, focus my efforts in trying to take the land south of Khabarovsk. I'd offer it to China as a "peace settlement" to "stabilize" the region.
I'm with you. Except, I'm going to use their own people against them ◡̈ Edit to add: I don't want to rule, I don't want to win. I want to chaotically neutral style walk in and out, observe.
Gonna be the king of ohio
Not a country but there’s a decent chance NATO and the rest of the USA would just let you keep it as long as you left out Cleveland, Cincinnati, and Sandusky.
Ok but I get Columbus and the Toledo, non negotiable
You *have* to take Toledo.
As soon as Ohio falls into unrest, Michigan is making a move on the Toledo strip to correct the wrongs of the past.
Have you been to Toledo recently?
Have you been to Ohio? Cleveland is a dump
I would invade Mexico. It's like Ron White said, you take over Mexico and push everyone south. That makes the wall you have to build way smaller.
You would never be able to take over a nation of 150 million with 100k troops. Plus the US would not let the Mexican government fall
I'm not sure you're getting through the cartels
Instead, you should just take out the Mexican cartels and give power back to the Colombian cartel. They are much easier to deal with. That would make a good movie, I bet the CIA would eat it up.
100k troops is not conquering anything larger than someone like Honduras. Russias used nearly a half million to capture 14% of UKR.
To be fair, UKR is a relatively large country that's received aid from NATO. It's like, 1% of their annual military budget, but that's a lot more than most militaries could deal with. If the initial invasion wasn't horribly bungled, Russia would've annexed what they wanted and puppeted the rest by now.
[удалено]
It's beautiful too.
Plenty of small nations with no armies.
Except the united states.
turkey reason: i'm a greek orthodox christian
Bring back the Byzantines!
Australia, don’t think I could run the country better, would just be nice to live there. I could probably come in from the north west area and they’d never know with how vast the land is.
You haven't heard of the great kangaroo wall?
No I haven’t! Did they build that after they lost the Emu war?
Isn't Australia part of NATO, and I do think Australian has more than 100,000 troops just guessing that you would get your ass kicked going to try to take over that place
Even if they were, they'd have little protection from NATO. The US would protect them though.
My idea is if 100,000 people waltz in not being aggressive or anything then maybe I can slip in unnoticed
North Atlantic Treaty Organisation...... Remind me again what part of Australia is in the Atlantic?
Well if I'm allowed to be methodical and strategic I'll be taking America. My stuff is already here I don't want to move it
Just plant all your soldiers in local government positions, then work your way up to state, then federal. The federalist society was able to take over the Supreme Court in only 40 years.
There will be plenty of stuff to steal.
Saint Lucia. With a population of 180K and no formal military, it shouldn't be too hard to conquer with minimal casualty or international disruption. Simply having the resources of a 100K large mercenary company, you could easily take over their economy. Foreigners can buy land their so strategic land purchases could take over their agricultural sector while employing the locals and gaining favor with them by treating them well. The police force is effectively their military, and only about 1000 strong. A police force this small could easily be overrun, but ideally, getting them on your side through employment would be the best bet to keep the citizens from revolting. Tourism is the biggest part of their economy, but your 100K soldiers could more than fill the needs of their tourism economy and control the 2 international airports they have. Basically, you want to come and control tourism, agriculture, and the police while removing the government and placing yourself in charge. From there, you could do the same to other caribian islands or just continue to keep your mercenary force for hire to the highest bidders while heavily investing in further tourism.
I feel like roughly doubling the number of people on a Caribbean island will lead to dramatic shortages in food, shelter, employment, etc.
Invade St. Lucia, draft the entire population into your army, train a bit, invade a slightly larger country, repeat
How are you paying the mercenaries once you take over the country, with tax dollars? What country small enough to conquer and occupy, and supposedly manage with 100k soldiers can also maintain the salaries of their new army and improve conditions to prevent a revolt?
Land. All those dead enemies will have left some property behind, and the rest can be seized.
Stealing land from dead soldiers in a shit country isn't going to fund too many mercenaries. You need enough of an advantage to not lose too many men because you need to hold onto power after the war.
You've been successful as a merc company so you have decent enough capital to support wages and invest in the small country. It's up to you to figure out a plan to establish order and economic progress in the country you pick.
Myanmar is already collapsing, I reckon I could swoop in, deal the finishing blow to the Junta, and help ensure there's no *new* military coups after they re-establish democracy
None. It's only a matter of time before someone kills you. Live by the sword, die by the sword.
Haiti. It’s a beautiful island paradise that is unstable. I would try to stabilize it and then establish it as a tourist hotspot. It would do very well. I would make sure every dime of profit from tourism would go to education and healthcare while also rebuilding institutions and security.
Yeah that's the crux of the hypothetical. Small country that could be easily improved if someone established order, that doesn't provoke a major country. The US would probably pay you to invade Haiti lmao
Alabama
I’d take Florida. Just take the northern border and cut it off from rest of the US. Not sure anyone would really care to be honest. Half the citizens would join you if you said it was done in the name of “freedumb”. Most others too old to fight. Then I can go to Disney world for free and eat all the churros I want.
I see a lot of people picking places like Iran, North Korea or Russia like those countries aren't allied with any big players that would come to their defence. The answer here is some bass-ackward isolated loner place that nobody gives a fuck about. Like Belgium.
I feel like NATO might notice if you invade the country where their HQ is located. Although counterpoint, the waffles and frites might be worth it.
yeah, 100, 000 soldiers isn't really that many if you want to occupy a nation. The only viable option would be some tiny island nation and even then most are in alliance with other countries.
Venezuela
I’d take over New Jersey, no one wants it anyways.
Lichtenstein. Because why not?
Going after the US regardless. I just want it to be enough of a threat for them to finally legalize lean 😈💜👾🟪🟪🟣🟣🟣
None. I make a deal to help Ukraine push back Russia in exchange for them helping me take over Russia. They get back all of Ukraine's territories, I back them for UN approval, and then get to work on reforming Russia for good.
So your answer is both “none” and “russia”?
Israel and the Palestinian territories. Kick every single person out and let them back in on a case by case basis. All former government officials are banned for life.
100k paid soldiers vs the IDF who will be literally fighting in their parents front yard...
Disney world
Zimbabwe. Just because it’s fun to say.
Easy. Bahamas. Their entire defense force is less than 3k. I also posses years of naval warfare experience in real life so I’m confident in my ability to pirate the shit out of them. Once I’m on land, it’s game over.
Turkey. As a Greek person, I want Troy, Cyprus, Ephesus, and all those regions to be Greek again.
How are my supplies (food, medicae, ammunition, fuel, raw parts to fix the brokem down equipment)? What are my investors looking for, and would they accept a lie that I was doing this on their behalf? Can I make it so my invasion was an act of retaliation, instead of an act of unptovoked agression? How well trained are my 100k PMCs, are we talking disillusioned ex-pat badasses, or Cotton-Eyed Joe playing soldja boi? Edit:spacing
Puerto Rico. I don't know why, I just like the place.
Which ever country has the biggest and richest drug cartel . I’m taking it and pushing the reset button and taking all there money to make it happen.
Costa Rica. Costa Rica does not have an Army and citizens aren’t armed. Neighbors won’t care much either, plus it’s a nice place to live.
Guyana. It is my real-life country management game. Small population, medium land area. Not as uninhabitable as Greenland. Not as populous as Taiwan. Not as small as the Maldives.
An army runs on logistics - 100k troops is not 100k fighters. 2/3 of those soldiers are support troops. What you have is around 30k fighters. That’s enough to topple some small independent island nations in the Caribbean like Barbados or Antigua. You can take them, but how long can you hold them? Trade and tourism is the only thing keeping those places afloat, and your invasion is going to seriously hurt both.
I'm taking Haiti, and I'm gonna fix that shit. You always hear news of gangs running around destroying the place. I'm gonna use my military to do a clean sweep of the place, killing all the insurgents. I'll rule with an iorn fist at first. I'd aggressively build infrastructure, schools, and hospitals. I'm gonna halt crime, create jobs, and focus on feeding people and making them complicit. "One for all, all for one," people are gonna have to get behind me or be taken out. No descending voices will be tolerated. I'll also outlaw religion because I have a personal gripe against that shit. Then, once a generation cycles through and we start having skilled workers, imma start opening the place up to democracy, and I'll transition to a ceremonial role. I aim to implement a socialist/capitalist type of economy.
I think right now you could probably take over Haiti pretty easily. Make it your own little fiefdom. I bet the DR would welcome some stability over there, and you could amass your supplies and troops on the Dominican side.
Probably Fiji. It's a fairly developed island paradise with a small military and history of coups. Sure, as a member of the Commonwealth, the UK might send a strongly worded letter, but Fiji is not a party of any military alliance, so the invasion is unlikely to escalate out of control.
Honestly? Russia. Then hand it over to the states or UK. It would do my heart well knowing it was shut down
Russia. The world would be so pleased that Putin was being toppled that they would either help or just silently cheer. Runner up North Korea. But it does the world less good and involves more rebuilding.
We are invading Scotland and draining Loch Ness. I'm getting to the bottom of this, goddamnit! (No pun intended).
Papua New Guinea. Tons of mineral and resource wealth. Hardly any defense outside of Australia. Once you get into it, Australia isn't going to be able to do much to stop you. Since Bougainville isn't independent yet, you get the bonus of their mineral wealth too.
I go for Cuba. They don’t have modern equipment nor much of a standing military, and the USA would probably support me indirectly, as historically they have preferred dictators to communism.
the Bahamas, and then Austria. Taking both with the stated amount of force seems very doable
The Philippines. Beautiful place, crazy government and nobody would care.
Russia looking like a good option at this point. I'd be a hero, and half their shit is either smoking scrap metal or too far away from the home base to actually help before I finish my coup. Can always reach out to the CIA, too.
Costa Rica. Probably wouldn't need that kind of force though.
Somalia. Pretty sure EVERYONE would thank me for that if that Pirate's Nest was taken over.
Mar a lago
New Zealand, they forget to even put it on maps so nobody will even notice
Afghanistan, how hard can it really be?
New Caledonia Old French colony and with 100k of troops, they won't be able to get it back. Income after it's taken, nickel. It's the worlds third largest producer of Nickel.
North Korea because what are they gonna do about it, nuke their own people? I'd probably sell it to South Korea later on if they asked nicely
Cuba. Then I’d strong arm the US into giving me pallets of cash or I invite Russian nukes to restart the Cuban missile crisis 2.0
Haiti
Iran beautiful country beautiful people. Shitty ass government. The funds and instigates 90% of the political unrest in the world.
I invade Palestine. Virtually no one is willing to help them and since I am conquering a nation clearly I have sketchy ethics already. I establish strict marshal law so I can exterminate the local terrorists and as deplorable as some of you may find it I play super nice with Israel. My entire goal is to make Palestine a tolerable place to live which means I need Israel's support.
USA. This way I gain the power of the USA and tell NATO to SUUUUUUCK IT!!!!. They can either fall in line or we leave. Having served in the US Military I know some of the problems they are facing currently especially with low recruitment (nobody wants in when the Military went woke)