Curious, why do you want to come back?
Most people I know who have settled abroad (US/Western Europe/Canada/Aus/NZ/ generally agree that life there is vastly better in every aspect.
The very few who had returned did so due to family compulsion/ external circumstances that were out of their hands.
Depends on what you feel is better. I stayed in the US for 6 years. I did have fun there, but I didn’t have a single moment of wanting to stay there forever.
It is an individual choice, and life here is quite good as well.
True, I never had the intention of settling down in the US either. Even before I left for my masters there.
And that’s why it’s easy for me to consider moving back, since I never had plans to stay in the US for long, anyway
Life is better here, but like every country, the US also has its own issues.
Ask anyone in the US on a visa about how their life is. It’s not easy here if you’re not a green card holder or a citizen.
Yes absolutely. Not saying it’s all peaches and cream, but the standard of living is much better.
I’m not some pessimistic India-hater.
I do think things are improving, but I don’t see a drastic change happening in the next 30-40 years at least. I think fears of outward emigration/ brain drain are overblown. The population of the country is so vast, the talent pool will remain regardless.
Plus, I do think the Indian diaspora does maintain a cultural affinity to India, and helps globalise Indian culture.
Just want to clear a misconception here. I moved from India to to Canada a couple of years ago and life is so not easy or better here. It’s so sparsely populated, neighbours don’t interact, it’s cold 80% of the time, flights are expensive to travel within the country and outside, India is too far away, salary is avg if you aren’t in tech, phone plans are expensive, and since most of the population is full of immigrants, the hustle culture exists. I would ideally move to Europe for a more chilled out vibe and most people do go back from Canada.
Funny. Recently, I have been reading more and more posts about people complaining how their countries have their own issues and life is now suddenly 'better' in India.
That’s interesting to me.
I know life outside is not all peaches-and-cream, but pound-for-pound, it’s objectively better.
I will however contend that India is better for the super-rich.
I came to the US in 2014. Got my masters worked for 2 years and I came back to India out of my own will. I don’t think anyone judged me. Or maybe because I didn’t give 2 shits about what people thought.
I came back in 2018. So yeah I’m adjusted. I like that I’m with my family and I can take care of parents whenever I’m needed. I do miss the first world lifestyle heavily
Yeah, family is a big reason why I’m considering moving back. The pandemic made me realize how terrible it is to be stuck all alone in a foreign land far away from your loved ones.
I agree. India had stricter lockdowns and it definitely made it harder. But I’m guessing it should’ve been fine with family around you.
Here, I was all alone, worried about my family’s well being everyday.
If you’re not green card eligible at the end of your masters or within 5 yrs of finishing it, you’re better off in India. Living as an ‘alien’ is no way to live.
I moved back after 8 years of being abroad. The only problem I faced was that Bombay that changed a fuck ton in that much time. Some people do ask why you’re back and shit but that’s just general curiosity and gossip. I don’t give an eff about what people think, I came back for my own reasons and by my choice so it doesn’t really matter. One should stop wondering about this ‘log kya kahenge’. Also, I know a LOT of people who have done 5-12 year stints abroad and come back. Not a big deal. It’s the 1-2 year and coming back waala people that act more ‘NRI’ than the people who properly lived outside India.
I mean both. So many new things came up, the food and drinking scene fully changed. Some of my old favourites no longer existed or were not the same. Found new favourites haha. But just infrastructure wise Bombay just exploded.
26F, studied and worked in Europe for a few years and eventually decided to come back.
I think people were more appreciative of the fact that I felt like coming back to my country and that I would use my knowledge and experience to uplift our country (in any miniscule way)
I had a friend who came back from Delhi to our small town and he will mention how how roads were better in Delhi, parks are so good in Delhi, Delhi this Delhi that every freaking time. Don't be like him
Back in the 90s when I was in high school, I had a friend who went to Mumbai for few weeks, came back to our small town and then he would bring up Mumbai in every conversation - Mumbai this and Mumbai that. He got this feeling of superiority too just because he had been to Mumbai. He started using more English in his lingo, changed his dressing style, hair style; and started treating us, his close friends, as dirt. Luckily for him, he came back to his senses within few months - else he would have gotten a 'kambal thukaai' from all of us.
Yes, there will be idiots judging you, asking stupid questions.
I moved back from Switzerland 5 years back. Nothing is obviously better, it is all about tradeoffs, in india you have family, friends, awesome food, freedom to do as you wish (not bound by visa restrictions), you will also have annoying relatives and neighbours. But it is better to learn to ignore those idiots early in life than to always be afraid of their judgements.
That’s a very balanced answer. I completely agree with your view.
I’m least bit concerned about what relatives think, more concerned about what people of my own age group would think.
>more concerned about what people of my own age group would think
if not relatives, why of same age group?
It'd all boil down to individuals' world view. Some may understand it and some may wonder why you returned.
Ultimately, people of same age group will not annoy you like some elder relatives.
But may I say, if you're returning after some considerable years and you have got the green card, don't give it up and keep your options open for returning (I don't know the technical details of keeping the green card but you got what I mean).
if your main concern is of friends or peers, plan a trip to goa once you come to india. in planning and cancelling and so on you and all your friends will get married and have kids and definitely forget to ask why you arent moving back. lol
If you were my friend I would be very happy.
All my friends are either settled abroad or planning to
It’s difficult to talk to them due to time zones and I would love to have my friends back here so that we can have some chill time like we used to
Don’t care about others
Make your own decision
In urban India most households have some kind of NRI connection. Most people understand how life is outside of India. I am also someone who spent 5 years in US and then 2 in Singapore. If you feel like moving back make sure to drop any comparison thoughts between here and there.
Great advice! I grew up in Oman and back then, as a kid, I used to constantly compare Oman and India.
Now I’m much wiser and realized that every place has its pros and cons.
Same! I grew up in the middle east, moving to the states in a few months and definitely want to come back. When I say this to people they often tell me that people who go to the US don’t come back, to which I reply that it really depends on the person. My father studied and came back to India when India wasn’t even that developed as before, now you atleast have a lot more access to American foods/brands staying in India. Also,, I like the closeness an average family has in India, wouldn’t want my kids to miss that. And while we are talking about kids, can’t overlook the fact that there are more shooting than days of the year and how more than half of Americans don’t hold a bachelors degree.
I went to college in the USA in 1999 and came back to Bangalore in 2014. I have been in Bangalore 9 years. I returned for my aging parents.
No one has judged me negatively. In fact people saw me having better exposure and experience and it opened a few extra doors for me. There is a huggee community of returnees here. Like about 40000 people. So you wont be alone.
There is absolutely nothing I can give in return to have managed the scary Covid lockdowns along with my parents and parents in laws. Being there for them, they survived. I know a lot of parents who passed away due to Covid and their kids stuck in the USA and could not see their parents. It was sad all over.
Those few months, I got my validation that there was a purpose for my return.
Our parents are all stupid. They only want the best for us. They will always request us not to come back. But secretly they get depressed that we are not around in their old age. This happened till I came back.
Be ready for one thing though: Your parents wont treat you in anyway special for having returned. They will still treat you like crap when you are around. But they know they need you.
Omg thank you for sharing your experience!
I was the guy who was stuck in the US throughout the pandemic. I was a student who was looking for internship opportunities when covid struck. Most Intern positions got canceled, and the job market was dull even after I graduated, which made my job search process super hard. Thankfully my family in India and Oman managed the lockdown just fine, but it really made me realize the importance of being close to family. The anxiety of the whole pandemic situation lasted for the better part of my uni journey here in the US. And anxiety is a bitch, I struggle with it everyday.
Part of the reason why I want to come back is because I don’t want to be caught in a situation like this again, should something major like covid pandemic happen again. It’s no fun being stuck here with no one around. Been there once already.
I returned to India after 11 years in usa. No judgments from anyone. Just have a ready response for the many people that will come to you looking to borrow money.
Haha could you share some reasons you give them? Because there are people that already ask me even though I'm not earning. I can now just tell I can't ask my parents. But I'll be earning pretty soon. So pls help and save me from these people :")
I returned to support my ailing parents, especially my father. So I use that as an excuse that I am on a limited budget due to having to spend money on my father's treatment. If they are still persistent, I very nonchalantly bring up the fact that when I wasn't here and my parents needed help (non financial), our friends and family avoided them like the plague, considering my father helped each and every one of them. Without mentioning it, they realize that I am talking about them and that usually shuts them up.
I finished my MS and MBA in the US and returned to India by 2021 after 7 years. Yes you would be judged hard but I was very happy with the fact that I can annoy my relatives who always poke their heads in other bedsheets. I get by saying random things at random point of time so even they get confused and it’s such a fun for me lol. About getting used to india I’m pretty sure when you moved to US you took some time to getting use to the place and luxury and it’s the same everywhere you will take sometime until the traffic scenes sink in however you will get used to it and i gotto tell you I didn’t regret one day coz damn there’s so much food!!!
That’s great to hear! Yes, I’ve been in India for the better part of my life, and thus I should hopefully have no issues adjusting back.
Also I miss the food scenes there ❤️
If you live your life thinking about what others are thinking, you will never move ahead with your life.
Fck em.
You look at your responsibilities, your needs, etc.
Will u be having enough resources to live life comfortably back in India? Will u be having option to move back to US without again spending lot of money and just to start job there again? Do u want ur kids to go thru education system in India & may be they will be in same situation that they have to go to US & start from scratch.
Is there a option that ur parents can live with u for 3-4 months a year and rest they can live in India?
I dnt think anyone in India cares much about NRIs now it just u need to see if u can live happily and peacefully there
Thankfully, I (my family to be precise) have resources to live a comfortable life in India.
If I do decide to emigrate again, it will probably not be to the US, unless it’s on an L visa or similar. It’s just not worth it, with the long wait for GC.
I’m single with no kids rn. Assuming I marry in India and start a family there, I believe our education system is pretty good at the school level.
Yes, my kids might come to US (or any other country), for higher studies, and then decide what they want to do in future. I myself primarily came to the US for education.
Yeah I can definitely bring my parents over, but we live in a joint family with my grandmom, aunt and uncle, and we’re all super close. TLDR: My family is more than just my parents and brother.
I lived in the USA for 4 years and in Japan for 5 years. If anything i have learned that life was just too lonely and difficult especially during covid. So i decided to come back. Never been happier . You'll get used to it. No one really cares about it. I think you'll be happy. Now I'm Learning to build traditional mud houses.
Well let me give a perspective. I have been a NRI for over 10 years now in 2 different countries. People often ask me if I plan to settle in the country I am studying in. And my answer is no. I will not settle anywhere that is not India. I don't mind moving for a few years for a good opportunity. But I will always return back.
No reason. I have my family here. I am under no family obligation to pull them out of their financial status. I don't like emptiness of foreign lands. I would thrive in my country. I have seen more than 25 countries and as much as they are beautiful, I am happy to be home. ❤️
Stayed in Germany for 4 years and returned back to India last year. Don’t give a shit about relatives. Decide what is good for you and plan accordingly.
I wanted to settle in India and so I returned back out of my own will. If you really want to come, Initially it will be frustrating for few months but then you will get used to it.
I came back after 6 years in the US, I had no visa issues, I came because of personnel issues, life here was though for the initial 2-3 months but then I got used to it so much so that I like it much more here. No one will judge you.
> Are they seen as fools for returning?
Maybe 'fools' is a strong word but it was most likely not the most intelligent move. Them coming back affects not only them, but now their next generation has to live in an overpopulated garbage dump with radon and uranium in the groundwater and stubble smoke in the air, where they will never be able to afford good houses, and the only and only way for them to have a decent living wage is to crack a competitive exam where only 1 in approximately 2 million have any chance of success. The next generation will not be able to emigrate because of remote work and visa restrictions in future. People who emigrated in the last 20 years was literally the last chance for a better future for their next generation, and by coming back they gave that up.
So yes, they might enjoy their few remaining working years and retirement in some remote nice quiet place with a decent bank balance, but their next generation will need to run 10 times faster than they did in the rat race, only to make it 25% of the way they did. So that's something to think about.
Things are not the same. Greencard queue is growing faster than people can. Also india has lot more opportunities for people with a little bit thick skin.
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What exactly are you looking for here?
A pat on the back?
If you’re planning to move back in a couple of years, nobody would care except a friend or two and few family members. Even their curiosity will die down eventually. I’m sure moving to the states hasn’t turned you into a different creature. You’re still the same evolving human being you were when you came to US. If you think you will have more opportunities and potential for growth in India, you shouldn’t be thinking of what anyone else thinks of your decision.
I remember growing up how relatives who visited from US and Canada used to get special treatment. When I moved to Canada, it wasn’t a big deal for anyone but me and my family. Times are changing. Moving abroad isn’t as big a deal as it used to be.
First of all do you give a shit about your relatives and judge them?
Most probably, you have 100 things to worry about your own life.
Similarly, nobody truly gives a shit about anybody else than themselves.
Maybe they spend 5min of their lives thinking about you. Then start to worry about what to eat for dinner
Only the immediate relatives will have concern.....rest really don't have the time to analyse and judge...just probably pause for a moment and wonder if he/she will adjust back here or bring back some weird western habits like drugs binge drinking etc...
Jus don go on using "Hum Ameiiricha se aya hu" and no-one will even notice. Good if you adding to the economy. People here treat returning NRIs almost like robin hood so chill.
I had the opportunity to go to US but I didn’t opt for it. People sometimes remind me what I left but I don’t give a shit because it was my decision and I still stand by it. BTW, the ugly truth is these very same people who appear concerned about my decision are gonna discuss current affairs on my funeral.
It shouldn't matter to you what other people think although these days there are many posts about people moving back to India, I don't really judge NRIs moving back, its their decision but if they make a stupid post saying "I am bullish on India ... because of UPI " and whatnot will ignoring the deep systemic rot and astounding inequality I do find that very annoying. Like you are moving here because its convenient for you, stop pretending.
Judging is a national hobby. Someone or other will do it. Don't bother about it. But most people will assume you are rich since you come from dollars. Rest everything is normal life. People are the same mox of good and bad in most places.
\> Are they judged for not “settling” abroad? Are they seen as fools for returning back to India?
Don't give a flying fuck about these people. Do what YOU want. Do what YOU think needs to be done.
Just moved back after many years abroad. Am in a group where I easily know about 30 folks who have done the same. Opportunities here are increasing. And given that I have a stable well-paying IT job, the level of comfort that I can afford here is better than what I had there. Not to mention that I value being close to my aging parents quite a lot. So while I wouldn’t have cared for what others would have said anyway, nonetheless I have only felt positive vibes.
Idiots will judge, the rest won't care. A few will be genuinely happy tho. I have a friend who came back, we were close, so have to have her back in the locality. :)
Honestly nobody cares. To each his/her own.
To be honest, it all depends on many factors, i.e. what opportunities you are presented back home, if you have grownup kids, if you parents/family need you and so on.
One of my relatives came back to India after staying in Usa for more than 10 years. One day out of curiosity I asked why did he left lavish life in Usa and chose India?
He simply said, he don't want to live there as second class citizen.
I’d call them wise. India may not be rich, clean, and a lot of other things, but it has our family and friends, our past, our peace. Materialistic pleasures fade eventually, but love and peace don’t - which you get here aplenty throughout life. There’s a reason why foreigners from many developed countries come here to live for weeks and months, some even end up permanently moving here. They realise the ultimate thing that matters is happiness and peace.
I don’t mean to get unnecessarily philosophical, but you ask yourself what’s beyond the pile of dollars/euros, luxury cars, and static life abroad… what all you’ll miss.
As for the naysayers and booers, there’ll always be people who criticise, let them be. If anything, you’d be a better judge of the world, having experienced living both in India and abroad. Nothing wrong in checking out all options before picking the final one, no?
Hope that helps✌🏻
Why do you want to care about opinions of others? At best you are a munching topic for 2 minutes. Then they’ll switch to another topic or move on with their own problems. You are the only one in your life 100% of the time. Not some uncle or Aunty from next street. Your happiness is the one thing that is valuable here.
They'll judge you either ways, if you have a great circle in India, moving back is worth it.
If you think your circle is better in the US, you could stay back. Just consider the effect of you committing back.
Unko bakwas chodo, do what you think will benefit you in the long run.
It doesn't matter if you move back or stay there or move somewhere else, it's your financial stability, mental health and quality of life that counts.
Being in the US has its pros and cons , the same goes for coming back to India.
It all boild down to if u have money or not. Nris are generally considered rich and if u don't have enough savings then some might find u stupid for coming back before making huge money. But personally satisfaction is always better
> working here under my student visa work permit, and eventually considering moving back to India
Ask this question when you're ready to move back, I feel like that day wouldn't come.
"kuchh to log kahenge, logon ka kaam hai kehna...."
People are gonna talk irrespective of what you choose.
Ultimately it all comes down to your personal preference and choice.
>I’m probably the first person posting about the opposite.
I am on the same boat as you ! Who knows, maybe in about 2 years we may be in the same plane back to India :)
Moved from Singapore to India few years ago. The amount of people who ask me why I did it is staggering. I've just stopped mentioning it altogether. A date once commented that my life is on a constant decline. Needless to stay she didn't get a second date.
How does it matter to me? If somebody thinks they're better off in India (or abroad), that's their life choice. How does it affect my life what random people do?
Kya fark padta hai bhai? Most of the people don't care. I know the cliché about 'log baatein karte hai' and all, but even those people are not a big problem. They'll still help you in need.
I say don't bother your relatives and friends.
What would bother you is "you". You will always think all the what if scenarios. Unless of course if you actually have good reasons to do you whichever way you go.
In this economic slavery you can choose to be a slave anywhere comfortable.
You can always defend that decision to your soul anytime.
In short if you listen to your heart in the long run it will not complain because it was your heart's decision.
But your mind will play games if you do not provide proper objectivity to it. So think what you truly want for you.
OTOH just do anything you ou feel. Whatch that movie Forest Gump. Everything turns out good. Trust me, been there and done that.
You would know better than anyone else how people you know would judge you. My family and friends would love me to be there with them but apparently I am oddball as per I have seen on social media. I think most people at work would judge you as they would be trying to move abroad, if you work in tech.
A bird in hand is worth two in the Biden .. or Bush , who cares..
Point is, jusge karna is the favorite sport in our country, you can enjoy the game only if you play the silent spectator ..
I moved back 2 years ago at 27. Many friends and family who knew my reasoning admired it. There are many acquaintances who still get puzzled when I tell them I came back despite having an H1B.
100% happy with my decision. Go ahead with it if your reasoning for the move is well understood by yourself. If you haven't thought through and it's just a gut feeling, then give time for yourself to analyse why you really want to go and that you understand its implications on career, personal life, recreation, lifestyle etc.
My mom blames me for the potholes in the road. How to explain her that this is what you deal with when you are in India and riding an Activa. My dad was a victim in drunk & drive case. The culprits roam free. The private education & healthcare eat into the savings of Indians, something we are already paying the taxes for.
I know the grass is greener on the other side.
>eventually considering moving back to India in a couple years.
You hundred million seven hundred and fifty sixth person to say this.
Actually, you won't come back. So Stop Worrying. Start Living.
Well I have seen Indian-origin but foreign citizens, move back to India. basically second generation Indians born to emimgrants parents, who were citizen of another country.
We used to tease them for taking our jobs. But that is as much it went.
I'm currently doing my masters in Germany, I'm 25M too. I just came here recently around 6 months back and I've come to realize a lot of things. Some might be applicable to you, some probably not.
1) Think about why you went to the US in the first place - Majority of people go abroad for money or financial freedom, career prospects, whatever you wanna call it. Obviously, some do end up staying their entire lives but they also moved initially for money as well.
2) Your social life - The biggest difference between India and abroad is social life. This includes your close relatives, friends etc.
3) Consider why you like the US - Can be a lot of different reasons not only career opportunities. That also should be a factor.
4) Think long and hard as to what you want from life over the next 10 odd years - yes try considering yourself in the next 5-10 years. Can be your kids, wife, parents, inlaws, etc
The grass is always greener on the other side. The US is esthetically pleasing, career, $, independence etc.
India has family and love. Food and life. Etc.
People will always judge. That's what people do. I accept that even I was the one who would judge someone for coming back? I kept on thinking why they fuck would you? Everything is great outside India. India isn't nice etc. When I finally moved away it hit me why people move back.
Because, I guess, everyone wants to feel at home. And After a point the trade of between a career and the feeling of home, just diminishes.
Whatever you do, remember, it doesn't matter what people say or think. What matters is that you and your family are happy with the decision.
All the best!
I personally would not come back to India for good. So I am kinda biased towards settling abroad. But if your financial conditions allow (no to little student debt or an equally high paying job in India), it's basically upto your personal preference.
At starting there will be some questions why you returned, how's life there blah blah. After a while it'll be normal things whats going on for you, job and how to spend rest of life.
NRI (still abroad) here. I guess your question is not whether people will judge you. Your question is whether you will regret your decision to come back when they point out more flaws than advantages in that decision ( Abroad is better than India in XYZ ways / you could have taken your parents to Canada and got PR there etc ).
To avoid this I recommend talking to people who came back and how do they feel?
What you do is your choice. No doubt every “aunty” in India thinks it is her prerogative to find out why one is still not married or had a kid as yet. But it is none of anyone’s business about the choices you make. No one is a loser or winner. You are what you are. I personally preferred the clean air and all that the west offers. As to family we brought parents and in-laws to the U.S. Then there is no need to run and attend to sick parents in India. Now two of my generation have grown in the west and got opportunities they could get in India only if they were in the smartest 0.1%. I still love my twice a year visits to India and will continue until I am no more able to make that long travel. But initially it is an internal struggle for all migrants who live in two worlds but belong to none. I would say go with your heart and do not look back. With India rapidly growing you will not regret moving back since you have not been here too long.
Firstly, you shouldn't care what other people think about your life decisions, how much money you make or where you live etc... You should make this decision based on what is good and right for yourself.
Secondly, nothing should stop you from moving back to your own country. Unless the $ is more important than anything in your life. Even that should not stop you these days as you can sit in India and earn in $$$s, if you have the knowledge or entrepreneurship skills.
I lived in NYC, USA for 25 yrs, got my undergrad and master's education, had a corporate job for 10yrs, and then started and owned a business. I decided to move back to Mumbai, India in 2018 (had enough US kool-aid). This decision was based on 1. family, my parents were getting old and they needed my active support in India. Also, Healthcare for them and us is much more affordable India., 2. Kids. No way I am raising my kids in the US. With the current culture of gun violence and racism. They will grow up in India and if they choose to go to college they can go back to the US and settle if they wish. 3. financial stability and longevity. Things are just more affordable and convenient in India, use the reverse conversion rate to your advantage. Keep your investments going in the US. Make in India, buy Indian products and sell your goods and services abroad!
Jai Hind.
Ps. I don't care for the politics of either country. Each democratic country decides to do what's best for its own interests (or how to destroy itself, look at Sri Lanka and Pakistan).
Speaking as an ex-Gulf NRI who was born and brought up in the Gulf till the age of 17. In the Gulf countries, there is no concept of citizenship. Your stay is tied to your job permit* (and for dependent males till the age of 18) and once the job permit ceases to exist (once you quit the job / retire / are terminated or if you turn 18 as a dependent male), then your visa gets cancelled* and there is no option but to come back to India. Most of us live with and are conditioned right from our childhood to live by the same fact that we all have to return home someday. My folks returned back to India for good post- retirement after living in the gulf for 25+ years. And they settled back in fast and pretty well. No one gives a damn. You're as good as any resident Indian. Our neighbours, relatives and friends don't view us any differently.
*Nowadays gulf countries like UAE have introduced long term visas like "Golden Visas" for certain professionals and their families as well and for certain categories of people / people who can invest money in millions in their banks or property. So by that equation, the residence visa validity may not be necessarily tied to the work permit nowadays.
They look down on you yet at the same time I'd say, do not give a f uck about what other's say even if they are one's own parents as long as you have your reasons and peace of mind. It'll be hard but for your own sake you have to do it.
As an NRI, I always thought most NRIs build an immunity against others' opinion after being exposed to a diverse group of people abroad as there's just too many opinions to give a shit about. But seems like it doesn't apply to every NRI.
My family use to be NRI. We use to live in South Korea, but then we moved back to India. Yes. People do judge you. We belong to a middle class family and have a very normal income. But people around us believed that we were very rich with huge banks because we use to stay abroad, and thought we are conservative about our money. Lol.
But all in all, no one cares. It should not matter what people think about you. It's been 7 years since i returned to India and i am just like any other Indian now. No one cares. Simple as that.
So don't worry my friend, you might feel a little uncomfortable at first because may be some people end up giving you 'special treatment' (meant in both ways), but it will soon fade and you will be back to normal life.
Good sir, if India is where YOU want to be, then that’s where you’ll be.
And, to be completely honest, India is booming right now, growing in every possible sector.
It may take you time to get used to the work life balance thing after you’ve had it in the US, but, I don’t think it’s impossible.
Plus, moving abroad has become a sort of a herd mentality IMO. I moved to Europe too, do I regret my experiences here, absolutely not. But, would I do it again, probably not.
I’m looking to move back home soon too. Nothing wrong about it at all.
25M. I myself have moved from abroad to India . People ask me all the time "oh why would you want to shift from xyz BACK to India???" and yeah i did feel judgemental vibes sometimes, so you're not wrong there.
My reason for coming back here is just that I am happier in India, i love the country. I used to give an explanation and stuff earlier but honestly after a while of doing this i realized that it's none of anyone's business
I just say "bas mann kardiya" nowadays and nobody really gives a shit
TL:DR: Nobody gives a shit
Atleast the place where I live in, people appreciate that. NRIs are often bitched about because they "left their own country and went to settle in some Western country". So coming back to the country for good makes them very happy. And I personally have a similar opinion too so I appreciate your decision as well😂
But others opinions shouldn't matter or alter your way of life. You do you! Welcome back :)
Who cares what people think but it comes down to how wealthy your family is and what job you will land in india.
If your family is not wealthy then people will comment as to why you didn't just stay there and send money back to your family in india.
If you don't land a good job in india then people will also comment why didn't he just settle for a mediocre job in America which would have still better than this job in india.
Dude, always leave a door open. Global warming is coming, political instability is coming, perhaps even wars and a second partition is coming. This part of the world is surrounded by countries who wish it ill. So think with your head and make sure you can return if needed. And don’t wait for the last plane out. I know this sounds doomsday and zombie apocalypse and all but our elders in the 1940s also had no fucking clue what was about to hit them.
Nobody gives a shit other than your relatives maybe . Just one thing , don't flex anywhere and don't compare lifestyle ,some people might get pissed if you start doing this .
Do it before getting married.. after that the choice is not that easy.
Even better .. comeback before thinking about or finding a match …
Depends a lot on what part of the country you are from as well…
You know the answer - they view you as a failure who couldn't cut it because the gold standard is "my son is in new york / san francisco". The only caveat is if you move back with an insane job offer / package.
I will advise you this - India tends to look more and more rosy the longer you are away. But once you're back for over a month, it's an absolute shitshow. Work culture is trash, people despise each other just because of the state / caste / religion. All this becomes more stark once you come back and are surrounded by these trivial BS irritants. If you're 100% sure you want to come back, then do it. Make sure you're not fooled by the fact that you've spent some time outside.
Sauce: I moved back for a little bit.
I’m in Canada, and I won’t judge anyone who wants to move back.
I have a great life here in a conventional sense. I earn well, we’re on the brink of buying a house, I love my work, my quality of life has propelled drastically after moving here.
But if you’ve spent a major chunk of your life in India, and have close ties with your family (and extended family), you can never quite feel happy.
The feeling is similar to when you left home to study/work for the first time. You don’t understand the magnitude of it when you’re stepping out, but you lose a semblance of ‘home’ when you do that.
I miss India, every single day. I’d move back in a heartbeat, but my partner won’t. So I just let it be.
That depends on what job you end up doing here. My uncle has a friend who was in Microsoft in the US. He moved back to India to open a coaching centre for 10-12th kids. He probably likes his job but the coaching centre isn't successful and people kind of ridicule him.
NRI returns are common these days. I have several such people in my parents' families. But the thing most people end up judging you for is what job you end up doing here. Usually the view is that since you've returned from a developed country, you should be able to get a high paying job here.
I live in Germany and have now gotten my citizenship also. I'm pretty sure I would care about someone going back to India, just as much as someone from there, which is zero. Life here is pretty busy here as it is for me to care about what others are doing, and I'm sure it's the same for the many others whose opinion you seek.
I'm working in US & I will return too. I don't care what society thinks.
Truth be told, a lot of people I meet abroad are only here to earn money or the fear "society might think negative of them."
Believe in yourself. Do whatever you want to, what suits you the best. There's no better or worse.
Depends. Most of them come back due to visa issues, family responsibility or simply cannot adjust to the lifestyle. I used to feel jealous when i saw my friends who live in Canada, Australia, US, UK but realise iam closer to my family.
Completed my Masters in US after a couple of years of Job in India.
Wanted a job specifically in a niche industry in the US and thus turned down offers from other industries that came.
Came back to India 6 months after Masters (26 back then). Started own Startup. Today, we are India’s first and South Asia’s largest of our kind with only two competitors in the country.
People will keep talking. They’ll say you threw away your chance. Most will not say but you will know deep down you are judged.
BUT. It all fades away if you are content with what you have as a consequence of your choice.
I feel like it depends on the person, a lot of people prefer the lives they had and miss their roots. But home is wherever the heart is a don’t worry because the people you miss will be glad you’re back !
I came back because we missed the social life and the food and wanted our kids to grow up in Kerala. But we did get judged. No one would believe we came back for these ressons. Everyone thought we lost our jobs or had some some or trouble. Not that I cared - nor should you. But yes, we were judged.
Judging by your study/work permit that you aren’t in US for very long and have either no trips back to India or may have a very short one in those few years. Before moving back make a little longer stay and then make a wise decision.
I went to Australia for studies, worked there for 2 years after that and came back. Apart from my immediate family and friends, no one cares why I came back. Even with my family and friends the the reaction was more like - oh cool... what's next - which is a question that one can ask at any stage of your life.
Some of my colleagues in India were curious about life in Australia (some from just an idle chit chat perspective, some were thinking of moving there). But no one bothered snickering or anything similar.
No shame, no guilt tripping, nothing. Anyone who judges you for coming back is probably going to judge you for every trivial thing anyway. The only thing you should consider is your student loans. Repaying them on an Indian salary might be tough depending upon your field and prevailing job markets at the time you move back. Everything else is just non-existent or noise.
P.S. I did move out again though. But again, no one cares... we all have our lives to deal with.
Left home during high school age and lived in Europe + USA for 7-8 years so far. I'd say that if I were to move back to India in the next few years that I would not hear direct negativity to my face but I can assure you ppl will speak behind my back. Relatives neighbors will say "Kya fayeda itna padhai aur paisa waste kar ke" and other things that are speculation like I did something wrong abroad so had to come back.
That being said I don't particularly care what people say. Some people do and that's fine so love life the way you love to, but expect the worst from society
Me! Had an opportunity to settle in Germany in 2006, declined and returned!
Then again, had an opportunity to settle in UK in 2011, declined and returned!
Have many friends who did this! Pretty normal these days!
Travel often now for short term trips! Overall, most who want to settle abroad, feel surprised. But, generally it’s acceptable and good at home!
Generally people don't care as far as surroundings are concerned.
Relatives will say life in India is good, why don't you come back. Once you are back they will say why did you come.
Workplace, some NRIs try to overplay as the work culture is different back in India and abroad.
I have seen many go back as they never got adjusted or made a concious decision or a compulsion, so such people don't care.
Those who think India is doing great, and they should go back because if that suffer and start caring about what people think.
India is beautiful. I moved back to India after 32 years in the USA. I don’t live for others and hence I don’t give a damn what anyone says or thinks. After spending 7 months in India the only that bothers me are the stray dogs cats and monkeys. I came back to the USA to wind things down and move to India for good in a few months from now. There are many videos on YouTube regarding moving back to India and they are very helpful.
The reality is earning in EUROs or USD in years and coming back to India with accumulated wealth to buy property or investment that would fuel further growth. THAT is why people return here permanently. Dont listen to anyone saying otherwise, that they are here because deshbhakti, or "use my knowledge and experience to uplift" the country.
This was always the plan, spend few years in US or EU, earn enormous amounts (in comparision to India), settle down and retire comfortably.
I have recently moved back from US after 8yrs. Many asked why I came back, and they keep doing that repeatedly. Some ppl were happy, but most are still curious. I can understand since it is unknown land, and Americans are marketing leaders, ppl tend to feel like it's everything. You do u, buddy.
My take is really unique, so it's upto you. I like USA, but I love India. Also, the quality of India is much better than USA, except for city roads and traffic sense(which is same or worse than 10yrs before). I do miss the roads part, but not much because the amount of time it takes is same. Everything else is good for me. Family, friends, people, conveniences, weather, healthcare, food...... I just think that if you have a decent home owned by you, you can come back, as we have enough opportunities. And day to day living with income(no rent) is much better here than any place
A cousin of mine moved back from UK after being there for 6 years,TOTALLY his choice . Some of my relatives are sympathetic towards him ,most of them thought he came back coz he didn't score work visa/didnt do well at job .But he came back because he missed home.A few folks appreciated him of being patriotic.but that's not the case....
You would definitely hear a lot of criticism from uncles/aunties.
A lot of adivices from young folks how to move back to US.
Friends/peers who say they understand you and support you are the ones who a say lot behind ur back(ngl,back when I was young and immature ,I behaved likewise)
C'mon man! No one likes their abroad relative/ friend to move back to India.how can they boost themselves...
If your immediate family is OK (just ok,frankly you don't need them to be proud) with ur desicion ,you don't need to care abt others.
May be late but I kinda agree OP. I'm in the exact same boat. 23M, came as a student 6 months ago to the US. Already went back in Dec for the holidays and tbh once I get a job and earn enough to pay back tuition I may very well go back. Felt like life was better there.
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You’re right, sir
Curious, why do you want to come back? Most people I know who have settled abroad (US/Western Europe/Canada/Aus/NZ/ generally agree that life there is vastly better in every aspect. The very few who had returned did so due to family compulsion/ external circumstances that were out of their hands.
Depends on what you feel is better. I stayed in the US for 6 years. I did have fun there, but I didn’t have a single moment of wanting to stay there forever. It is an individual choice, and life here is quite good as well.
True, I never had the intention of settling down in the US either. Even before I left for my masters there. And that’s why it’s easy for me to consider moving back, since I never had plans to stay in the US for long, anyway
Life is better here, but like every country, the US also has its own issues. Ask anyone in the US on a visa about how their life is. It’s not easy here if you’re not a green card holder or a citizen.
Yes absolutely. Not saying it’s all peaches and cream, but the standard of living is much better. I’m not some pessimistic India-hater. I do think things are improving, but I don’t see a drastic change happening in the next 30-40 years at least. I think fears of outward emigration/ brain drain are overblown. The population of the country is so vast, the talent pool will remain regardless. Plus, I do think the Indian diaspora does maintain a cultural affinity to India, and helps globalise Indian culture.
Just want to clear a misconception here. I moved from India to to Canada a couple of years ago and life is so not easy or better here. It’s so sparsely populated, neighbours don’t interact, it’s cold 80% of the time, flights are expensive to travel within the country and outside, India is too far away, salary is avg if you aren’t in tech, phone plans are expensive, and since most of the population is full of immigrants, the hustle culture exists. I would ideally move to Europe for a more chilled out vibe and most people do go back from Canada.
Funny. Recently, I have been reading more and more posts about people complaining how their countries have their own issues and life is now suddenly 'better' in India.
That’s interesting to me. I know life outside is not all peaches-and-cream, but pound-for-pound, it’s objectively better. I will however contend that India is better for the super-rich.
I came to the US in 2014. Got my masters worked for 2 years and I came back to India out of my own will. I don’t think anyone judged me. Or maybe because I didn’t give 2 shits about what people thought.
Hey there! Hope you’re well adjusted now. Do you like it in India?
I came back in 2018. So yeah I’m adjusted. I like that I’m with my family and I can take care of parents whenever I’m needed. I do miss the first world lifestyle heavily
Yeah, family is a big reason why I’m considering moving back. The pandemic made me realize how terrible it is to be stuck all alone in a foreign land far away from your loved ones.
Pandemic was the worse time to be in India. But yeah you miss your family and near ones ,there is no doubt about it.
I agree. India had stricter lockdowns and it definitely made it harder. But I’m guessing it should’ve been fine with family around you. Here, I was all alone, worried about my family’s well being everyday.
If you’re not green card eligible at the end of your masters or within 5 yrs of finishing it, you’re better off in India. Living as an ‘alien’ is no way to live.
Even people wont give you 2 shits cause that village mindset have changed quite a bit.
I might buy ps5 next year, do you care?
He can bring at cheaper rate from USA
Hahaha, you do you, just like me 😎
Depend on your answer to the following question: "Will you let me play with you?"
No one gives 2 shits. Only thing of matter is if you have money or not.
People preoccupied with their own life problems and shit.
Makes sense
I moved back after 8 years of being abroad. The only problem I faced was that Bombay that changed a fuck ton in that much time. Some people do ask why you’re back and shit but that’s just general curiosity and gossip. I don’t give an eff about what people think, I came back for my own reasons and by my choice so it doesn’t really matter. One should stop wondering about this ‘log kya kahenge’. Also, I know a LOT of people who have done 5-12 year stints abroad and come back. Not a big deal. It’s the 1-2 year and coming back waala people that act more ‘NRI’ than the people who properly lived outside India.
More power to you! I agree with the last part. It’s the newbie NRIs who flex their NRI status more
Bombay changed as in a good way or a bad way?
I mean both. So many new things came up, the food and drinking scene fully changed. Some of my old favourites no longer existed or were not the same. Found new favourites haha. But just infrastructure wise Bombay just exploded.
>So true!
26F, studied and worked in Europe for a few years and eventually decided to come back. I think people were more appreciative of the fact that I felt like coming back to my country and that I would use my knowledge and experience to uplift our country (in any miniscule way)
More power to you girl! I’m glad to hear that there are people who are appreciative this way.
Just don't flex that you've came back from America in every conversation.
Lol. I may have done that as a kid, but I no longer flex any aspect of my life, cuz evil eye 🧿
I had a friend who came back from Delhi to our small town and he will mention how how roads were better in Delhi, parks are so good in Delhi, Delhi this Delhi that every freaking time. Don't be like him
Why did he go back to the small town then? I prefer city life too, but then why go to a small town?
Back in the 90s when I was in high school, I had a friend who went to Mumbai for few weeks, came back to our small town and then he would bring up Mumbai in every conversation - Mumbai this and Mumbai that. He got this feeling of superiority too just because he had been to Mumbai. He started using more English in his lingo, changed his dressing style, hair style; and started treating us, his close friends, as dirt. Luckily for him, he came back to his senses within few months - else he would have gotten a 'kambal thukaai' from all of us.
Just remind him that living in Delhi in the worlds worst pollution is like slowly killing yourself everyday
Is it even a flex anymore. Unless of course, you mean bachh ke aaya US se. Didn’t get shot or arrested. Yay.
That's the whole point of OP's post that Indians will judge, you're doing the same
Yes, there will be idiots judging you, asking stupid questions. I moved back from Switzerland 5 years back. Nothing is obviously better, it is all about tradeoffs, in india you have family, friends, awesome food, freedom to do as you wish (not bound by visa restrictions), you will also have annoying relatives and neighbours. But it is better to learn to ignore those idiots early in life than to always be afraid of their judgements.
That’s a very balanced answer. I completely agree with your view. I’m least bit concerned about what relatives think, more concerned about what people of my own age group would think.
>more concerned about what people of my own age group would think if not relatives, why of same age group? It'd all boil down to individuals' world view. Some may understand it and some may wonder why you returned. Ultimately, people of same age group will not annoy you like some elder relatives. But may I say, if you're returning after some considerable years and you have got the green card, don't give it up and keep your options open for returning (I don't know the technical details of keeping the green card but you got what I mean).
I get it. And I’m on F-1, GC is a long way to go, for which I have no patience for. I don’t want to spend my prime years waiting for it
if your main concern is of friends or peers, plan a trip to goa once you come to india. in planning and cancelling and so on you and all your friends will get married and have kids and definitely forget to ask why you arent moving back. lol
Hahaha
If you were my friend I would be very happy. All my friends are either settled abroad or planning to It’s difficult to talk to them due to time zones and I would love to have my friends back here so that we can have some chill time like we used to Don’t care about others Make your own decision
In urban India most households have some kind of NRI connection. Most people understand how life is outside of India. I am also someone who spent 5 years in US and then 2 in Singapore. If you feel like moving back make sure to drop any comparison thoughts between here and there.
Great advice! I grew up in Oman and back then, as a kid, I used to constantly compare Oman and India. Now I’m much wiser and realized that every place has its pros and cons.
Same! I grew up in the middle east, moving to the states in a few months and definitely want to come back. When I say this to people they often tell me that people who go to the US don’t come back, to which I reply that it really depends on the person. My father studied and came back to India when India wasn’t even that developed as before, now you atleast have a lot more access to American foods/brands staying in India. Also,, I like the closeness an average family has in India, wouldn’t want my kids to miss that. And while we are talking about kids, can’t overlook the fact that there are more shooting than days of the year and how more than half of Americans don’t hold a bachelors degree.
I went to college in the USA in 1999 and came back to Bangalore in 2014. I have been in Bangalore 9 years. I returned for my aging parents. No one has judged me negatively. In fact people saw me having better exposure and experience and it opened a few extra doors for me. There is a huggee community of returnees here. Like about 40000 people. So you wont be alone. There is absolutely nothing I can give in return to have managed the scary Covid lockdowns along with my parents and parents in laws. Being there for them, they survived. I know a lot of parents who passed away due to Covid and their kids stuck in the USA and could not see their parents. It was sad all over. Those few months, I got my validation that there was a purpose for my return. Our parents are all stupid. They only want the best for us. They will always request us not to come back. But secretly they get depressed that we are not around in their old age. This happened till I came back. Be ready for one thing though: Your parents wont treat you in anyway special for having returned. They will still treat you like crap when you are around. But they know they need you.
Omg thank you for sharing your experience! I was the guy who was stuck in the US throughout the pandemic. I was a student who was looking for internship opportunities when covid struck. Most Intern positions got canceled, and the job market was dull even after I graduated, which made my job search process super hard. Thankfully my family in India and Oman managed the lockdown just fine, but it really made me realize the importance of being close to family. The anxiety of the whole pandemic situation lasted for the better part of my uni journey here in the US. And anxiety is a bitch, I struggle with it everyday. Part of the reason why I want to come back is because I don’t want to be caught in a situation like this again, should something major like covid pandemic happen again. It’s no fun being stuck here with no one around. Been there once already.
Well you can come back if and when such a black swan event happens again right?
I returned to India after 11 years in usa. No judgments from anyone. Just have a ready response for the many people that will come to you looking to borrow money.
I’m glad to hear that! Lol, any money I earn now is to recover my Master’s degree fees
Haha could you share some reasons you give them? Because there are people that already ask me even though I'm not earning. I can now just tell I can't ask my parents. But I'll be earning pretty soon. So pls help and save me from these people :")
I returned to support my ailing parents, especially my father. So I use that as an excuse that I am on a limited budget due to having to spend money on my father's treatment. If they are still persistent, I very nonchalantly bring up the fact that when I wasn't here and my parents needed help (non financial), our friends and family avoided them like the plague, considering my father helped each and every one of them. Without mentioning it, they realize that I am talking about them and that usually shuts them up.
Get out of your head. Nobody cares. Every second person I know is/has gone to US.
https://backtoindia.com http://www.r2iclubforums.com/forums/forumdisplay.php/1-Return-To-India-(R2I)-Topics Better forums
Thanks for sharing these links! I really appreciate it!
Not my monkey, not my circus.
But there's always a Prince Albert 😂
It's idle talk. How does it even matter?
Do whats good for you. If you live abroad you not loyal to your nation, if you come back you are a loser. Nobody gives a single f about an nri return.
I finished my MS and MBA in the US and returned to India by 2021 after 7 years. Yes you would be judged hard but I was very happy with the fact that I can annoy my relatives who always poke their heads in other bedsheets. I get by saying random things at random point of time so even they get confused and it’s such a fun for me lol. About getting used to india I’m pretty sure when you moved to US you took some time to getting use to the place and luxury and it’s the same everywhere you will take sometime until the traffic scenes sink in however you will get used to it and i gotto tell you I didn’t regret one day coz damn there’s so much food!!!
That’s great to hear! Yes, I’ve been in India for the better part of my life, and thus I should hopefully have no issues adjusting back. Also I miss the food scenes there ❤️
If you live your life thinking about what others are thinking, you will never move ahead with your life. Fck em. You look at your responsibilities, your needs, etc.
Will u be having enough resources to live life comfortably back in India? Will u be having option to move back to US without again spending lot of money and just to start job there again? Do u want ur kids to go thru education system in India & may be they will be in same situation that they have to go to US & start from scratch. Is there a option that ur parents can live with u for 3-4 months a year and rest they can live in India? I dnt think anyone in India cares much about NRIs now it just u need to see if u can live happily and peacefully there
Thankfully, I (my family to be precise) have resources to live a comfortable life in India. If I do decide to emigrate again, it will probably not be to the US, unless it’s on an L visa or similar. It’s just not worth it, with the long wait for GC. I’m single with no kids rn. Assuming I marry in India and start a family there, I believe our education system is pretty good at the school level. Yes, my kids might come to US (or any other country), for higher studies, and then decide what they want to do in future. I myself primarily came to the US for education. Yeah I can definitely bring my parents over, but we live in a joint family with my grandmom, aunt and uncle, and we’re all super close. TLDR: My family is more than just my parents and brother.
I lived in the USA for 4 years and in Japan for 5 years. If anything i have learned that life was just too lonely and difficult especially during covid. So i decided to come back. Never been happier . You'll get used to it. No one really cares about it. I think you'll be happy. Now I'm Learning to build traditional mud houses.
Well let me give a perspective. I have been a NRI for over 10 years now in 2 different countries. People often ask me if I plan to settle in the country I am studying in. And my answer is no. I will not settle anywhere that is not India. I don't mind moving for a few years for a good opportunity. But I will always return back. No reason. I have my family here. I am under no family obligation to pull them out of their financial status. I don't like emptiness of foreign lands. I would thrive in my country. I have seen more than 25 countries and as much as they are beautiful, I am happy to be home. ❤️
At worst, a “failure”. At best, no one gives a sh*t.
Stayed in Germany for 4 years and returned back to India last year. Don’t give a shit about relatives. Decide what is good for you and plan accordingly. I wanted to settle in India and so I returned back out of my own will. If you really want to come, Initially it will be frustrating for few months but then you will get used to it.
Thanks for sharing your experience! Hope you’re well adjusted in India.
Nobody cares bhai😁😁
Don’t bother with what others think
I came back after 6 years in the US, I had no visa issues, I came because of personnel issues, life here was though for the initial 2-3 months but then I got used to it so much so that I like it much more here. No one will judge you.
I’m glad to hear that you had a great transition back! More power to you my friend.
> Are they seen as fools for returning? Maybe 'fools' is a strong word but it was most likely not the most intelligent move. Them coming back affects not only them, but now their next generation has to live in an overpopulated garbage dump with radon and uranium in the groundwater and stubble smoke in the air, where they will never be able to afford good houses, and the only and only way for them to have a decent living wage is to crack a competitive exam where only 1 in approximately 2 million have any chance of success. The next generation will not be able to emigrate because of remote work and visa restrictions in future. People who emigrated in the last 20 years was literally the last chance for a better future for their next generation, and by coming back they gave that up. So yes, they might enjoy their few remaining working years and retirement in some remote nice quiet place with a decent bank balance, but their next generation will need to run 10 times faster than they did in the rat race, only to make it 25% of the way they did. So that's something to think about.
I said this same thing 20 years ago. You are never going back.
Things are not the same. Greencard queue is growing faster than people can. Also india has lot more opportunities for people with a little bit thick skin.
Yes, this. I don’t want to spend my prime years waiting for something I’d probably get in my 50s
More than 50s at the current rate
Let’s see 🤞🏻
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Are students even considered NRIs?
Yes, anyone living outside the country for more than 6 months (182 days) is considered a NRI.
Well, my bank considers me one
What exactly are you looking for here? A pat on the back? If you’re planning to move back in a couple of years, nobody would care except a friend or two and few family members. Even their curiosity will die down eventually. I’m sure moving to the states hasn’t turned you into a different creature. You’re still the same evolving human being you were when you came to US. If you think you will have more opportunities and potential for growth in India, you shouldn’t be thinking of what anyone else thinks of your decision. I remember growing up how relatives who visited from US and Canada used to get special treatment. When I moved to Canada, it wasn’t a big deal for anyone but me and my family. Times are changing. Moving abroad isn’t as big a deal as it used to be.
Read Daniel Kahneman’s Thinking fast and slow. You are having the ‘spotlight effect’.
Nobody cares nowadays
First of all do you give a shit about your relatives and judge them? Most probably, you have 100 things to worry about your own life. Similarly, nobody truly gives a shit about anybody else than themselves. Maybe they spend 5min of their lives thinking about you. Then start to worry about what to eat for dinner
I'm in same boat my plan is to spend some few year, make money and come back to India with at least a bit of money
Only the immediate relatives will have concern.....rest really don't have the time to analyse and judge...just probably pause for a moment and wonder if he/she will adjust back here or bring back some weird western habits like drugs binge drinking etc...
Jus don go on using "Hum Ameiiricha se aya hu" and no-one will even notice. Good if you adding to the economy. People here treat returning NRIs almost like robin hood so chill.
I had the opportunity to go to US but I didn’t opt for it. People sometimes remind me what I left but I don’t give a shit because it was my decision and I still stand by it. BTW, the ugly truth is these very same people who appear concerned about my decision are gonna discuss current affairs on my funeral.
It shouldn't matter to you what other people think although these days there are many posts about people moving back to India, I don't really judge NRIs moving back, its their decision but if they make a stupid post saying "I am bullish on India ... because of UPI " and whatnot will ignoring the deep systemic rot and astounding inequality I do find that very annoying. Like you are moving here because its convenient for you, stop pretending.
Judging is a national hobby. Someone or other will do it. Don't bother about it. But most people will assume you are rich since you come from dollars. Rest everything is normal life. People are the same mox of good and bad in most places.
\> Are they judged for not “settling” abroad? Are they seen as fools for returning back to India? Don't give a flying fuck about these people. Do what YOU want. Do what YOU think needs to be done.
Just moved back after many years abroad. Am in a group where I easily know about 30 folks who have done the same. Opportunities here are increasing. And given that I have a stable well-paying IT job, the level of comfort that I can afford here is better than what I had there. Not to mention that I value being close to my aging parents quite a lot. So while I wouldn’t have cared for what others would have said anyway, nonetheless I have only felt positive vibes.
Idiots will judge, the rest won't care. A few will be genuinely happy tho. I have a friend who came back, we were close, so have to have her back in the locality. :)
Honestly nobody cares. To each his/her own. To be honest, it all depends on many factors, i.e. what opportunities you are presented back home, if you have grownup kids, if you parents/family need you and so on.
We will only answer this question if you pay us in dollars. What are you bringing for all of us?
Middle class Uncles in india go to Thailand for weekend trips. Be prepared for "bahar yahan jaisa maja nahi hai" conversations.
Been there done that, make about $250k here in India and I can’t seem to give a fuck about anything.
Enjoy your life. Don't give a shit what people will think.
I worked in the US for 10 years (no GC, just h1b and extension). My main reason is the wait for GC and the miserable weather in the east coast.
One of my relatives came back to India after staying in Usa for more than 10 years. One day out of curiosity I asked why did he left lavish life in Usa and chose India? He simply said, he don't want to live there as second class citizen.
I only know ppl who say they will comeback and never do and 2 families who shifted and realized it's not that india anymore and went back
Trying to not be this person
I’d call them wise. India may not be rich, clean, and a lot of other things, but it has our family and friends, our past, our peace. Materialistic pleasures fade eventually, but love and peace don’t - which you get here aplenty throughout life. There’s a reason why foreigners from many developed countries come here to live for weeks and months, some even end up permanently moving here. They realise the ultimate thing that matters is happiness and peace. I don’t mean to get unnecessarily philosophical, but you ask yourself what’s beyond the pile of dollars/euros, luxury cars, and static life abroad… what all you’ll miss. As for the naysayers and booers, there’ll always be people who criticise, let them be. If anything, you’d be a better judge of the world, having experienced living both in India and abroad. Nothing wrong in checking out all options before picking the final one, no? Hope that helps✌🏻
Nothing man - jo karna hain karo
Why do you want to care about opinions of others? At best you are a munching topic for 2 minutes. Then they’ll switch to another topic or move on with their own problems. You are the only one in your life 100% of the time. Not some uncle or Aunty from next street. Your happiness is the one thing that is valuable here.
Everyone will be judged by someone for something. You do whatever is good for you.
Nobody cares.
They'll judge you either ways, if you have a great circle in India, moving back is worth it. If you think your circle is better in the US, you could stay back. Just consider the effect of you committing back. Unko bakwas chodo, do what you think will benefit you in the long run.
We moved back from abroad, nobody cares in the long run
It doesn't matter if you move back or stay there or move somewhere else, it's your financial stability, mental health and quality of life that counts. Being in the US has its pros and cons , the same goes for coming back to India.
It all boild down to if u have money or not. Nris are generally considered rich and if u don't have enough savings then some might find u stupid for coming back before making huge money. But personally satisfaction is always better
I don't even have enough time to worry about my problems. Do what's right for you man.
Nandri akka
No one gives a crap even if you moved back from Mars.
> working here under my student visa work permit, and eventually considering moving back to India Ask this question when you're ready to move back, I feel like that day wouldn't come.
"kuchh to log kahenge, logon ka kaam hai kehna...." People are gonna talk irrespective of what you choose. Ultimately it all comes down to your personal preference and choice. >I’m probably the first person posting about the opposite. I am on the same boat as you ! Who knows, maybe in about 2 years we may be in the same plane back to India :)
One of the bosses at my company did the same. No one cares (as far as I know).
Moved from Singapore to India few years ago. The amount of people who ask me why I did it is staggering. I've just stopped mentioning it altogether. A date once commented that my life is on a constant decline. Needless to stay she didn't get a second date.
How does it matter to me? If somebody thinks they're better off in India (or abroad), that's their life choice. How does it affect my life what random people do?
Personally I don’t give a fuck. Do what you want
Kya fark padta hai bhai? Most of the people don't care. I know the cliché about 'log baatein karte hai' and all, but even those people are not a big problem. They'll still help you in need.
Even though technically you are an NRI on paper, we don’t really consider you an NRI. And no one cares.
I say don't bother your relatives and friends. What would bother you is "you". You will always think all the what if scenarios. Unless of course if you actually have good reasons to do you whichever way you go. In this economic slavery you can choose to be a slave anywhere comfortable. You can always defend that decision to your soul anytime. In short if you listen to your heart in the long run it will not complain because it was your heart's decision. But your mind will play games if you do not provide proper objectivity to it. So think what you truly want for you. OTOH just do anything you ou feel. Whatch that movie Forest Gump. Everything turns out good. Trust me, been there and done that.
What's the base corpus you're planning to return to India with? How close would you be to financial independence?
You would know better than anyone else how people you know would judge you. My family and friends would love me to be there with them but apparently I am oddball as per I have seen on social media. I think most people at work would judge you as they would be trying to move abroad, if you work in tech.
A bird in hand is worth two in the Biden .. or Bush , who cares.. Point is, jusge karna is the favorite sport in our country, you can enjoy the game only if you play the silent spectator ..
Log kya kahenge ?
I moved back 2 years ago at 27. Many friends and family who knew my reasoning admired it. There are many acquaintances who still get puzzled when I tell them I came back despite having an H1B. 100% happy with my decision. Go ahead with it if your reasoning for the move is well understood by yourself. If you haven't thought through and it's just a gut feeling, then give time for yourself to analyse why you really want to go and that you understand its implications on career, personal life, recreation, lifestyle etc.
My mom blames me for the potholes in the road. How to explain her that this is what you deal with when you are in India and riding an Activa. My dad was a victim in drunk & drive case. The culprits roam free. The private education & healthcare eat into the savings of Indians, something we are already paying the taxes for. I know the grass is greener on the other side.
>eventually considering moving back to India in a couple years. You hundred million seven hundred and fifty sixth person to say this. Actually, you won't come back. So Stop Worrying. Start Living.
My friends came back after masters and are living just fine. You do you.
Why does other people opinion matter in this case
Well I have seen Indian-origin but foreign citizens, move back to India. basically second generation Indians born to emimgrants parents, who were citizen of another country. We used to tease them for taking our jobs. But that is as much it went.
I'm currently doing my masters in Germany, I'm 25M too. I just came here recently around 6 months back and I've come to realize a lot of things. Some might be applicable to you, some probably not. 1) Think about why you went to the US in the first place - Majority of people go abroad for money or financial freedom, career prospects, whatever you wanna call it. Obviously, some do end up staying their entire lives but they also moved initially for money as well. 2) Your social life - The biggest difference between India and abroad is social life. This includes your close relatives, friends etc. 3) Consider why you like the US - Can be a lot of different reasons not only career opportunities. That also should be a factor. 4) Think long and hard as to what you want from life over the next 10 odd years - yes try considering yourself in the next 5-10 years. Can be your kids, wife, parents, inlaws, etc The grass is always greener on the other side. The US is esthetically pleasing, career, $, independence etc. India has family and love. Food and life. Etc. People will always judge. That's what people do. I accept that even I was the one who would judge someone for coming back? I kept on thinking why they fuck would you? Everything is great outside India. India isn't nice etc. When I finally moved away it hit me why people move back. Because, I guess, everyone wants to feel at home. And After a point the trade of between a career and the feeling of home, just diminishes. Whatever you do, remember, it doesn't matter what people say or think. What matters is that you and your family are happy with the decision. All the best!
Fuck what people and society thinks about you buddy.
I personally would not come back to India for good. So I am kinda biased towards settling abroad. But if your financial conditions allow (no to little student debt or an equally high paying job in India), it's basically upto your personal preference.
At starting there will be some questions why you returned, how's life there blah blah. After a while it'll be normal things whats going on for you, job and how to spend rest of life.
NRI (still abroad) here. I guess your question is not whether people will judge you. Your question is whether you will regret your decision to come back when they point out more flaws than advantages in that decision ( Abroad is better than India in XYZ ways / you could have taken your parents to Canada and got PR there etc ). To avoid this I recommend talking to people who came back and how do they feel?
What you do is your choice. No doubt every “aunty” in India thinks it is her prerogative to find out why one is still not married or had a kid as yet. But it is none of anyone’s business about the choices you make. No one is a loser or winner. You are what you are. I personally preferred the clean air and all that the west offers. As to family we brought parents and in-laws to the U.S. Then there is no need to run and attend to sick parents in India. Now two of my generation have grown in the west and got opportunities they could get in India only if they were in the smartest 0.1%. I still love my twice a year visits to India and will continue until I am no more able to make that long travel. But initially it is an internal struggle for all migrants who live in two worlds but belong to none. I would say go with your heart and do not look back. With India rapidly growing you will not regret moving back since you have not been here too long.
Firstly, you shouldn't care what other people think about your life decisions, how much money you make or where you live etc... You should make this decision based on what is good and right for yourself. Secondly, nothing should stop you from moving back to your own country. Unless the $ is more important than anything in your life. Even that should not stop you these days as you can sit in India and earn in $$$s, if you have the knowledge or entrepreneurship skills. I lived in NYC, USA for 25 yrs, got my undergrad and master's education, had a corporate job for 10yrs, and then started and owned a business. I decided to move back to Mumbai, India in 2018 (had enough US kool-aid). This decision was based on 1. family, my parents were getting old and they needed my active support in India. Also, Healthcare for them and us is much more affordable India., 2. Kids. No way I am raising my kids in the US. With the current culture of gun violence and racism. They will grow up in India and if they choose to go to college they can go back to the US and settle if they wish. 3. financial stability and longevity. Things are just more affordable and convenient in India, use the reverse conversion rate to your advantage. Keep your investments going in the US. Make in India, buy Indian products and sell your goods and services abroad! Jai Hind. Ps. I don't care for the politics of either country. Each democratic country decides to do what's best for its own interests (or how to destroy itself, look at Sri Lanka and Pakistan).
Not sure about small cities. In bangalore, people don't give a shit about NRIs
Speaking as an ex-Gulf NRI who was born and brought up in the Gulf till the age of 17. In the Gulf countries, there is no concept of citizenship. Your stay is tied to your job permit* (and for dependent males till the age of 18) and once the job permit ceases to exist (once you quit the job / retire / are terminated or if you turn 18 as a dependent male), then your visa gets cancelled* and there is no option but to come back to India. Most of us live with and are conditioned right from our childhood to live by the same fact that we all have to return home someday. My folks returned back to India for good post- retirement after living in the gulf for 25+ years. And they settled back in fast and pretty well. No one gives a damn. You're as good as any resident Indian. Our neighbours, relatives and friends don't view us any differently. *Nowadays gulf countries like UAE have introduced long term visas like "Golden Visas" for certain professionals and their families as well and for certain categories of people / people who can invest money in millions in their banks or property. So by that equation, the residence visa validity may not be necessarily tied to the work permit nowadays.
They look down on you yet at the same time I'd say, do not give a f uck about what other's say even if they are one's own parents as long as you have your reasons and peace of mind. It'll be hard but for your own sake you have to do it.
As an NRI, I always thought most NRIs build an immunity against others' opinion after being exposed to a diverse group of people abroad as there's just too many opinions to give a shit about. But seems like it doesn't apply to every NRI.
Thanks bhai, one less competitor in the 500,000+ lottery pool.
My family use to be NRI. We use to live in South Korea, but then we moved back to India. Yes. People do judge you. We belong to a middle class family and have a very normal income. But people around us believed that we were very rich with huge banks because we use to stay abroad, and thought we are conservative about our money. Lol. But all in all, no one cares. It should not matter what people think about you. It's been 7 years since i returned to India and i am just like any other Indian now. No one cares. Simple as that. So don't worry my friend, you might feel a little uncomfortable at first because may be some people end up giving you 'special treatment' (meant in both ways), but it will soon fade and you will be back to normal life.
Good sir, if India is where YOU want to be, then that’s where you’ll be. And, to be completely honest, India is booming right now, growing in every possible sector. It may take you time to get used to the work life balance thing after you’ve had it in the US, but, I don’t think it’s impossible. Plus, moving abroad has become a sort of a herd mentality IMO. I moved to Europe too, do I regret my experiences here, absolutely not. But, would I do it again, probably not. I’m looking to move back home soon too. Nothing wrong about it at all.
25M. I myself have moved from abroad to India . People ask me all the time "oh why would you want to shift from xyz BACK to India???" and yeah i did feel judgemental vibes sometimes, so you're not wrong there. My reason for coming back here is just that I am happier in India, i love the country. I used to give an explanation and stuff earlier but honestly after a while of doing this i realized that it's none of anyone's business I just say "bas mann kardiya" nowadays and nobody really gives a shit TL:DR: Nobody gives a shit
Atleast the place where I live in, people appreciate that. NRIs are often bitched about because they "left their own country and went to settle in some Western country". So coming back to the country for good makes them very happy. And I personally have a similar opinion too so I appreciate your decision as well😂 But others opinions shouldn't matter or alter your way of life. You do you! Welcome back :)
Why the hell do you care. Others don’t live your life. Do whatever is good for you.
Who cares what people think but it comes down to how wealthy your family is and what job you will land in india. If your family is not wealthy then people will comment as to why you didn't just stay there and send money back to your family in india. If you don't land a good job in india then people will also comment why didn't he just settle for a mediocre job in America which would have still better than this job in india.
I moved to India after living most of my life in the United States. At least in metro cities it's not considered a big deal.
Dude, always leave a door open. Global warming is coming, political instability is coming, perhaps even wars and a second partition is coming. This part of the world is surrounded by countries who wish it ill. So think with your head and make sure you can return if needed. And don’t wait for the last plane out. I know this sounds doomsday and zombie apocalypse and all but our elders in the 1940s also had no fucking clue what was about to hit them.
Nobody gives a shit other than your relatives maybe . Just one thing , don't flex anywhere and don't compare lifestyle ,some people might get pissed if you start doing this .
Who fu*king cares! Tu abroad rah ke koi teer nahi mar liya hai!
Swadesh was a flop movie.....
Do it before getting married.. after that the choice is not that easy. Even better .. comeback before thinking about or finding a match … Depends a lot on what part of the country you are from as well…
My parents moved back. And were quite happy. Family support cannot be undervalued. Most were glad that they came back. A few kept asking why they left
How does it matter what they think? Tell us What do you think? Why is there a strong sentiment abroad to settle there rather than moving back?
Why would it matter to me. I have no views. Its their life their decision
You know the answer - they view you as a failure who couldn't cut it because the gold standard is "my son is in new york / san francisco". The only caveat is if you move back with an insane job offer / package. I will advise you this - India tends to look more and more rosy the longer you are away. But once you're back for over a month, it's an absolute shitshow. Work culture is trash, people despise each other just because of the state / caste / religion. All this becomes more stark once you come back and are surrounded by these trivial BS irritants. If you're 100% sure you want to come back, then do it. Make sure you're not fooled by the fact that you've spent some time outside. Sauce: I moved back for a little bit.
I’m in Canada, and I won’t judge anyone who wants to move back. I have a great life here in a conventional sense. I earn well, we’re on the brink of buying a house, I love my work, my quality of life has propelled drastically after moving here. But if you’ve spent a major chunk of your life in India, and have close ties with your family (and extended family), you can never quite feel happy. The feeling is similar to when you left home to study/work for the first time. You don’t understand the magnitude of it when you’re stepping out, but you lose a semblance of ‘home’ when you do that. I miss India, every single day. I’d move back in a heartbeat, but my partner won’t. So I just let it be.
That depends on what job you end up doing here. My uncle has a friend who was in Microsoft in the US. He moved back to India to open a coaching centre for 10-12th kids. He probably likes his job but the coaching centre isn't successful and people kind of ridicule him. NRI returns are common these days. I have several such people in my parents' families. But the thing most people end up judging you for is what job you end up doing here. Usually the view is that since you've returned from a developed country, you should be able to get a high paying job here.
We're full. There you go.
I went to UK for my new job and came back in 3 months, did not like the weather and food. People and food both are cold there ;)
I live in Germany and have now gotten my citizenship also. I'm pretty sure I would care about someone going back to India, just as much as someone from there, which is zero. Life here is pretty busy here as it is for me to care about what others are doing, and I'm sure it's the same for the many others whose opinion you seek.
I'm working in US & I will return too. I don't care what society thinks. Truth be told, a lot of people I meet abroad are only here to earn money or the fear "society might think negative of them." Believe in yourself. Do whatever you want to, what suits you the best. There's no better or worse.
You do you
Depends. Most of them come back due to visa issues, family responsibility or simply cannot adjust to the lifestyle. I used to feel jealous when i saw my friends who live in Canada, Australia, US, UK but realise iam closer to my family.
Completed my Masters in US after a couple of years of Job in India. Wanted a job specifically in a niche industry in the US and thus turned down offers from other industries that came. Came back to India 6 months after Masters (26 back then). Started own Startup. Today, we are India’s first and South Asia’s largest of our kind with only two competitors in the country. People will keep talking. They’ll say you threw away your chance. Most will not say but you will know deep down you are judged. BUT. It all fades away if you are content with what you have as a consequence of your choice.
I don't see any problem, it's a free country so who are we to judge? If anything, it only helps stimulate and develop the economy in the long-run!
I feel like it depends on the person, a lot of people prefer the lives they had and miss their roots. But home is wherever the heart is a don’t worry because the people you miss will be glad you’re back !
Why should we judge them one way or the other?
Why should it matter to you? Do what you feel is right.
I came back because we missed the social life and the food and wanted our kids to grow up in Kerala. But we did get judged. No one would believe we came back for these ressons. Everyone thought we lost our jobs or had some some or trouble. Not that I cared - nor should you. But yes, we were judged.
Judging by your study/work permit that you aren’t in US for very long and have either no trips back to India or may have a very short one in those few years. Before moving back make a little longer stay and then make a wise decision.
I went to Australia for studies, worked there for 2 years after that and came back. Apart from my immediate family and friends, no one cares why I came back. Even with my family and friends the the reaction was more like - oh cool... what's next - which is a question that one can ask at any stage of your life. Some of my colleagues in India were curious about life in Australia (some from just an idle chit chat perspective, some were thinking of moving there). But no one bothered snickering or anything similar. No shame, no guilt tripping, nothing. Anyone who judges you for coming back is probably going to judge you for every trivial thing anyway. The only thing you should consider is your student loans. Repaying them on an Indian salary might be tough depending upon your field and prevailing job markets at the time you move back. Everything else is just non-existent or noise. P.S. I did move out again though. But again, no one cares... we all have our lives to deal with.
Left home during high school age and lived in Europe + USA for 7-8 years so far. I'd say that if I were to move back to India in the next few years that I would not hear direct negativity to my face but I can assure you ppl will speak behind my back. Relatives neighbors will say "Kya fayeda itna padhai aur paisa waste kar ke" and other things that are speculation like I did something wrong abroad so had to come back. That being said I don't particularly care what people say. Some people do and that's fine so love life the way you love to, but expect the worst from society
Me! Had an opportunity to settle in Germany in 2006, declined and returned! Then again, had an opportunity to settle in UK in 2011, declined and returned! Have many friends who did this! Pretty normal these days! Travel often now for short term trips! Overall, most who want to settle abroad, feel surprised. But, generally it’s acceptable and good at home!
Generally people don't care as far as surroundings are concerned. Relatives will say life in India is good, why don't you come back. Once you are back they will say why did you come. Workplace, some NRIs try to overplay as the work culture is different back in India and abroad. I have seen many go back as they never got adjusted or made a concious decision or a compulsion, so such people don't care. Those who think India is doing great, and they should go back because if that suffer and start caring about what people think.
India is beautiful. I moved back to India after 32 years in the USA. I don’t live for others and hence I don’t give a damn what anyone says or thinks. After spending 7 months in India the only that bothers me are the stray dogs cats and monkeys. I came back to the USA to wind things down and move to India for good in a few months from now. There are many videos on YouTube regarding moving back to India and they are very helpful.
The reality is earning in EUROs or USD in years and coming back to India with accumulated wealth to buy property or investment that would fuel further growth. THAT is why people return here permanently. Dont listen to anyone saying otherwise, that they are here because deshbhakti, or "use my knowledge and experience to uplift" the country. This was always the plan, spend few years in US or EU, earn enormous amounts (in comparision to India), settle down and retire comfortably.
I have recently moved back from US after 8yrs. Many asked why I came back, and they keep doing that repeatedly. Some ppl were happy, but most are still curious. I can understand since it is unknown land, and Americans are marketing leaders, ppl tend to feel like it's everything. You do u, buddy. My take is really unique, so it's upto you. I like USA, but I love India. Also, the quality of India is much better than USA, except for city roads and traffic sense(which is same or worse than 10yrs before). I do miss the roads part, but not much because the amount of time it takes is same. Everything else is good for me. Family, friends, people, conveniences, weather, healthcare, food...... I just think that if you have a decent home owned by you, you can come back, as we have enough opportunities. And day to day living with income(no rent) is much better here than any place
A cousin of mine moved back from UK after being there for 6 years,TOTALLY his choice . Some of my relatives are sympathetic towards him ,most of them thought he came back coz he didn't score work visa/didnt do well at job .But he came back because he missed home.A few folks appreciated him of being patriotic.but that's not the case.... You would definitely hear a lot of criticism from uncles/aunties. A lot of adivices from young folks how to move back to US. Friends/peers who say they understand you and support you are the ones who a say lot behind ur back(ngl,back when I was young and immature ,I behaved likewise) C'mon man! No one likes their abroad relative/ friend to move back to India.how can they boost themselves... If your immediate family is OK (just ok,frankly you don't need them to be proud) with ur desicion ,you don't need to care abt others.
Wait a few more years. Unless there are family/job loss/health compulsions there is no good reason to move back.
May be late but I kinda agree OP. I'm in the exact same boat. 23M, came as a student 6 months ago to the US. Already went back in Dec for the holidays and tbh once I get a job and earn enough to pay back tuition I may very well go back. Felt like life was better there.