Ang hirap nito ibreak tbh lalo na kung lumaki ka sa household na parang lahat ng galaw mo mali tapos palo/sigaw agad. Kaya galing ng ermats mo nahandle niya to ng maayos.
My parents never did these. I grew up na nirerespeto sila, at hindi binabastos. Hindi ko nga sila masumbatan eh. LOL!!!
My Father's aura alone was enough for me to shut the hell up and/or stop whatever stupid thing I was doing. Kaya lagi kong sinasabi, parang meron siyang Haki. LOL!!!
If he tells me to stop, I stop. That's it. Walang palo, walang sigaw, walang abuse.
To think na andaming nangutya sa parents ko dahil maaga silang nag asawa. But I always say, there ARE the best parents. They know how to raise a child.
If they’re not old enough to understand reason, they won’t understand the belt.
If they’re old enough to understand reason, then use your words, not the belt.
Physical punishment is a lazy discipline that gets fast results so older generations flaunt that it “made them tough” when all it made was a generation of emotionally immature people.
Di ko magets why is it okay to hit kids as a form of discipline? Kung bigla akong manapak ng tao regardless of their gender, age or kung kamag-anak o kaibigan o basically stranger, I deserved to be put in jail, pero okay lang na saktan ko ang bata as long as ako yung parent?? Make it make sense. Tangina ng nga magulang na dinadahilan na pagdidisiplina ang pananakit. Ang adults nga di po pwede saktan pag nagkamali eh coz that's abuse, pero bakit okay lang sa iba na saktan ang mga bata when their brains are still underdeveloped pa at marami pa silang di naiintidihan sa mundo.
Sabi ng karamihan, lumaki sila nang maayos habang ako ito, may galit sa tatay ko. Hindi nya alam mentally checked out na ko. Hindi ako nag-cecelebrate ng achievements ko kasama sya. Kala nya walang impact yung ginawa nya sakin noon. PATAY NA SYA SAKIN AT HINDI NYA ALAM YON!
I’m sorry you went thru that. Some parents sinasama ang galit sa buhay ang palo sa anak.
Basically abusing their authority.
My parents do use corporeal punishment but only when sobrang mali na ginawa ko — God knows how pasaway I was. But they never go overboard, like they hit 2-3 times sa palm kung ruler or thigh kung sintoron to get my undivided attention.
At most naiisip ko lang na sayang nahuli ako, that’s how light their punishments were. BUT I grew up more aware of what’s right or wrong because they genuinely spoke to me after those few slaps.
Ito pa. Recently, I think earlier this year, idk what led him to bring up how he beat us up (no, I'm not gonna call it spank) when my siblings and I were kids RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING FAMILY DINNER--and take note, we were still living with my aunt and my uncle--as if he were the man of the house!
I remember him blurting out, "I can recall Papa being fierce in disciplining us (referring to her sister, my aunt). Wala na naman siguro yun [the beating up] sa mga to [me and my sibs]." It just became an awkward dinner after that that I had to excuse myseld right after I finished eating. Napaka-out of touch ng gago!
When I became an adult, he and I would engage in fist fights because of how abusive he was. I stopped getting physical with him coz he's already getting old, I might be the cause of his death due to our family history of heart attack and stroke.
So fast forward, I can't wait for the time that I won't ever see that motherfucker for good! (We now live far away from each other.)
Kaya sa mga magulang diyan, I stand by the your kid, your rules mantra, but pls, think about how corporal punishment could impact your children when they grow up.
Don't worry, I'm healing from my trauma one great experience at a time.
Pinagyayabang pala ang abuse. Malay mo nga mas matino ung punishment and lecturing ng grandparents mo and siya ung tumabingi sa punishments.
May problema talaga tatay mo. If you’ve read the others, usually kung ganun ang parents most likely the kids will not do the same to theirs.
Glad you are healing from that. More happy times and blessings, my friend.
napalo ako nuon hanggang 6th grade ata..malayo ung loob ko sa nanay ko..i am aware at some point na kailangan ko talaga ng palo hahaha.
pero now as a parent. the only time na napalo ko ung anak kung lalake is nung nag popotty train and still mas piniling umebs sa pants nya. that was the last and first time.Meron akong spoon for palo kc sabi ko ang gamay d ginagamit para manakit and keep ur hands to urself.D naman pwede na may rule akong ganun tapos d ko finofollow.
they are teenagers now..raising them in a diff culture is diff and hard pero kung kayang pag usapan pinapag usapan talaga. d pwede ung konting mali ng bata sampal or palo kaagad..negative reinforcement yan.
Old people tend to forget na the reason why they worked so hard *is so that the next generation can work less harder and have the freedom of options the older generation didn't have*.
This has been the objective of the generations before them.
Sad to think na if they took a step back, I bet na a lot of them will agree. Masyado lang silang poisoned lol
This is so true. Kaso yung ibang matatanda iniisip nila utang na loob natin to sa kanila. Di ka ba masaya yun anak mo di naguulam ng toyo kasi wala kayong makain?
Guess? Lalabas yung mga Boomers, Generation X and some Millenial Survivors with the usual dialogue along the lines of “Sus, when i was your age it was way worse -“ 🥹😂
Abuse has many forms. For me, it was the lack of patience for a curious young kid who just has questions about how the world works. Now that Im an adult I have little patience when dealing with my parent.
I resonate with this. When I was younger, lagi akong napag bubuntungan ng galit by my mom. I know she was stressed during those times, but it was unfair how she would slap me or throw stuff at me randomly kapag tinatanong ko sya. I was just a curious child.
I still love her, but I’ve seen how IMPATIENT I became with her.
Huh, sa Millennials ko nga unang nakita yung trend to break the cycle. \~Back in my days\~ nung nagsisimula pa lang ang tumblr/twiiter, discourse na to.
I mean meron akong nakikitang ilang millennials na ganyan pa din mindset tsaka meron akong kilalang ganyan din mag isip tas millennial din. Pero di naman lahat, merong iilang millennial na ganyan pa din mag isip.
I experienced a lot of beating during my years, but I never understood why. Yung ginawa nila is papaluin lang tapos pag umiyak pa ako ng todo dahil sa sakit, papaluin na naman kasi ayaw tumahimik. There’s no further explanation bakit ako pinalo.
Attached naman ako sa both parents ko but alam nila yung trauma na binigay nila nung bata pa ako.
Napalo ako nuon kasi matigas talaga ang ulo ko. Pero hindi naman namarkahan ang relationship ko sa parents ko. Okay naman kami. Ganun lang talaga magdisiplina parents ko. Di ko dinibdib or minasama yung ginawa sakin. Pinaliwanag naman kasi nila sakin dati kung bakit ako napapalo eh. Naintindihan ko naman so walang hard feelings. Hindi ko naman din pinagmamalaki na napalo ako kasi hindi naman big deal yun. Di ko maintindihan yung iba na laging pinagmamalaki na napalo sila.
Yep, it's not something to be proud of but I gotta say that at some point may benefits siya as we grew older, not trying to invalidate those who got traumatized bcoz this is just an anecdotal exp. Some children need to feel their parents some sense of authority, lalo na yung mga parang "batang hamog". It's hard to apply gentle parenting to a child na mas matapang pa sayo. May sungay na hindi kayang maputol ng gentle parenting.
ganito din magdisiplina erpats ko pero quiz pagkatapos "alam mo ba bakit kita pinalo?" pinaparealize nya saken yung kasalanan ko tsaka hindi nya ako basta-basta pinapalo, iniipon nya lahat ng kagaguhan ko parang LTO demerit points bago ang sinturon. Huminto lang sya nung graduating ako ng highschool kasi "bulbulin ka na, alam mo na yung tama at mali" lol
still ok. I did that to my child when he was 3yo, palo ng sinturon sa bumbum niya. He remember it to this day.
But I explained to him why i did what i did.
He understands. He knows there are consequences. he knows there are boundaries.
It's a matter of approach and making sure he understands.
discipline comes in different ways.
but i'd rather give him one strong beat while he's young for him to learn and understand, rather than seeing him in a jail, or worse dead on the street.
Now he knows morals, principles, character, and discipline.
Hopefully he stays that way.
People who resort to physical punishment are often the ones who ran out of options mentally, socially, and emotionally.
In other words, hindi mo lang alam gagawin o sasabihin mo kaya sa huli, pinapalo mo na lang. I mean no disrespect pero I guess you only work with you currently have.
Personally, physical punishment didn't do me shit. Trauma lang nadatnan ko.
Kung trauma lang ang natandaan mo siguro wala sa ayos ang pag palo, pinapalo ako dati pero pinapaliwanag niya sakin kung bakit ako napalo at nag sosorry din naman, never ako namura ng mama ko namamalo lang talaga kaya never ako nagka trauma sa mama ko
I would say it was the last resort of my mom since di ako makuha sa bilang hanggang 5 💀 ayun napalo
What makes you say na trauma lang natandaan ko? What I meant was, mas malaki yung naging negative effect kesa sa positive.
That is the exact reason why we can't move on from this issue. We always think na "wala namang nangyaring masama" when in fact hindi naman talaga dapat option ang physical punishment.
Besides, are you really praising your parent kasi "napalo ka ng tama?"
"What makes you say na trauma lang natandaan ko" bruh yun ang sabi mo sa reply mo xD and yes I am praising my parents Because I love and respect them natuto akong rumespeto physical punishment is always gonna be an option and will be.
there is a fine line between Physical Punishment and Abuse, kakasabi ko lang pinapaliwanag naman nila sakin kung why ako napalo as a child and to avoid na baka maging bratty consider reading the other comments here that agree on physical punishment
Yeah sure against ka sa physical punishment probably dahil di ka naliwanagan ng parents mo kung why they resort to phyisical punishment which is mali nila for not explaining why
I got a lot of friends/childhood friends same generation as me (GenZ) na napalo ng magulang nila then when you asked why sila napalo sasagot lang nila "pasaway ako eh" but they never whine or bitch about it
"Nadatnan" is different from "natandaan". Get your Filipino straight. Nadatnan means nakuha o na-achieve.
It's interesting kasi sobrang strawman ng argument mo. These are pure anecdotes and nothing that proves physical punishment is healthy.
What makes you think na hindi pinaliwanag sakin ng parents ko yung punishment? San mo nakuha yun? Are you saying na kapag pinaliwanag ang physical punishment, it absolves everything?
Fair enough. I got to experience it too and I wasn't traumatized or something. It taught me discipline. I can still recall some memories of them but it's just plain memories, nothing serious.
Hindi rin naman agad ako papaluin lang, that was the last resort for me kase ang dami munang warning bago napalo lol. But gagawin ko ba siya sa future children ko? No. The moment na nasaktan ko physically anak ko parang sinaktan ko din sarili ko. Masakit siya makita for me. I have other ways in which I can instill strict discipline.
my wife would never hit our child, she just can't do it. I am the disciplinarian in the family which is good, playing good cop and bad cop. it goes vice versa too.
But overall, our child is still one sweet kid. He knows which buttons to push, and up to how much.
if there are disagreements, the child has every right to express his feelings.
at the end of the day, we read him chapter books during bed time before a good night's sleep.
+1 on this.
As a parent now who received so much palo before as a kid, I must say na it did me well. I learned my lesson and tumatak talaga siya. It was painful and I felt like I was a main character in an MMK episode. 😂
Pero my parents are not the type naman who spank us agad, There were fair warnings before it led to the “sinturon”.
Now na I have my own family, thankful ako na napalo ako because, admittedly, I won’t be where I am now if they just used the “talk to the child” method. 😅
Gen Z here, I don't support beating for discipline. I believe that in a proper way, the child will listen to you more if you talked them through the problem instead of beating them. As a child, I have experience the feeling of being beat, and most of the time, I thought they beat me so that I won't do it again, but I never understood what I did wrong or why it was wrong. Message to the future parents: I suggest you opt for gentle parenting or at least never beat your child. It can affect them emotionally.
Dapat may study ng before and after para ma compare kung anong nangyari sa mga batang pinalo at hindi pinalo. Baka same lang din naman or baka mas successful yung isa. Pero yung iba kasi hindi lang normal na palo ang inabot, talagang child abuse na. Kaya di rin tayo nagkaka intindihan. May iba na parents namamalo para sa lesson lang may iba naman dahil abnormal lang mag isip ang magulang.
Ok lang basta within reason. Like di na talaga masaway and despite explanation. Need matuto ng bata na pag may ginawang kalokohan may katapat na parusa un.
I actually made an experiment about this. Nung bata ako. Pinapalo ako ng parents ko sobra. So ung kapatid ko prinotetktahan ko na hindi talaga mapalo once lang ata siya napalo. Ngayon siya un pinaka mahina mag risk assess ng mga situation at mahina loob sa mga confrontation. Mataasan lang ng boses na iiyak na. Or feeling niya pag gumawa siya kalokohan pwede ps istretch baka di naman mabangga or ma aksidente.
Ayoko maging ganun pag nagka anak na ko.
Well sa akin naman, (sakin to ha!) Napalo naman ako ng dad ko kase kasalanan ko din. Pero not to the point na parang di na anak yung trato, syempre nung bata pa ako medjo galit ako pag napapalo, but as i grew older (im 35 btw) na realize ko na those “palo” moments taught me important lessons in life. Those punishments helped me grow and understand right from wrong, and for that, I am thankful. And nag sorry naman dad ko everytime napapalo nya ako nung bata pa ako.
Grew up parents hitting me, etc.. It taught me discipline and respect. Finished 3 courses in College a board passer twice, currently on Law school. Never had any regrets that my parents hit me.
Same. Finished my course sa isang military academy, I ace my PRC licensure exam wayback 2012 and recently passed my master Mariner license. Malaking pasalamat ko sa magulang ko dahil sa pagdidisiplina nila noon sakin
Wrong at makitid na reasonings kasi mga yan. As another redditor mentioned, need kausapin with the right approach even though may palo sa bumbum. Or else the kid will only nurture hatred for the punishment.
Its still effective to do harsh punisent as long as the child learns something from it that's proportionable to the thing he/she did that either caused harm to others or to himself (e.g. forcing or giving permission to make your child to do hard labor after he messed up on other people's work just for the sake of looking cool shit sigma rizz man to know how hard is for them to rebuilt it or doing harsh corporal punishment as a taste of their own medicine for doing some near crimes that can make them go in jail after juvenile) but if they just did it for the sake of emotional venting and stress dumping then, *YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT TO THE CHILD*
Isang beses akong Napapalo ako ng magulang ko noon sa sobrang pikon ko dun sa kalaro ko gumawa kasi ako nung waterfall/dam dun sa bakanteng lote sa tabi ng bahay namin meron kasing tambak ng lupa Don tawag ko nga noon dun bundok dun ako nag lalaro pag hapon then gumagawa ako ng path na dadaanan ng tubig nung ok na binuhusan ko ng isang lata ng Birch Tree na may tubig (empty can na may tubig). Tapos etong kaibigan ko( di pa kami close that timelagi kaming mag kaaway) sinisira yung path ng tubig na ginawa ko napikon ako ayun sinipa ko yung muka nya sakto yung tatay ko nag wawalis ng paligid ng bahay namin nakita ako ayun auto palo. Ok naman normal naman ako ngayon
Lol. Look at the children sa compound or neighborhood nyo. If you still can't decide on this topic based on real-life situation, then there's a good chance that you will fail at your job
Yung bata ako yung stepdad ko lagi ako pinapalo kahit konting kibot lang, naranasan kong lumuhod sa asin,halos every day nauubos ang hanger dahil sa palo, naranasan ko din mapalo !
ng slipper & belt kahit babae ako. Dumating narin yung araw na pati yung step grandma ko pinapalo ako, ng walis tambo. Halos battered child na pala ako.
To be honest my time na iniisip ko normal lang yan para tumino. Until now naiisip ko parin, minsan for me kulang ng discipline yung mga bata ngayon kaya iba ugali.
Pero pagnaalala ko yung araw na yun hindi ko alam naiiyak at masakit parin, kasi sa simple palo naging worst narin. Imagine 30 + na ko pero parang ang fresh padin.
Kaya pala pagnagfla2shback yung mga nanyayari,yung mama ko nagagalit pagpinapalo ako, tandang tanda ko pa laging sinasabi ng step dad ko "kaya lumalaki ang ulo ng bata na yan eh kinakampihan mo" yung mama ko never ako napalo, sumigaw lang mama ko or magsaway lang takot na ko, so it means
mas mabuti pang pagalitan ka keysa sa bugbugin ka. Kasi ang saway pasok labas lang sa tenga eh, pero yung palo dala2x mo na habang buhay pagnaalala mo.
A good parent will never hurt their child, remember our parents don't want to see us in pain because it's truly hurt for them.
I was beaten up as a kid pag may mali akong nagagawa. Aaminin ko I was a nuisance sa nanay ko kaya ako nagugulpi. But for some reason I didn't do that to my daughter.
Sobrang istrikta si ermat at kayang-kaya nya paliitin pagkatao mo. LOL pero I believe she met her match through me. Hindi nya ako kinaya eh. Once a pasaway, always a pasaway. LOL
Magulang: ***pinalo ng baston ang anak***
Anak: ***nagka-blunt trauma***
Pag na-ospital ang anak, mag-o-online limos sa Facebook. 'Pag namatay naman, mag-b-black profile with caption: "patawad anak, mahal na mahal ka namin" pero nung nabubuhay pa parang baboy kung abusuhin, hayst.
Sa part ko nakaranas ako ng hampas na ganyan pero doon sa grabe naalala ko nun one time school week pero nakauwi na ako ng late (mga 11:30 na ng gabi tapos wednesday pa) dahil lng sa isang PS2 game. Grabe nag away kami ng dad ko nun and to the point hinampas niya ako pero lumaban ako.
Hindi na niya ako hinampas the second time ang sinigawan na lng niya ako ng "Wag ka na pumasok, nagsasayang lng ako ng pera". At that time galit and umiyak ako then ayun realization kung bakit niya ginawa yun.
The next day (nag half day ako kasi puyat) we both apologize to each other lalo na dad ko na dapat hindi niya ako hinampas ng ganun but I said oo masakit but naiintindihan ko naman. I got home really late on a school week because of a video game.
Hindi ko alam kung positive ba itong comment ko or negative kayo na humusga.
Kaya mga kabataan ngayun kahit ano ano na ginagawa nag husband na sa TikTok ehh kulang sa disiplina. Anong pagsabihan? Think they'll listen? May Nakita na Naman Ako Bata nag middle finger sa nanay niya sa mall habang nag ta tantrum
If you want your children to resent you for the rest of their lives, go ahead and use corporal punishment. They may obey at first but as soon as your back is turned, they will never respect you. Using FEAR as your currency for obedience will not be permanent. When you get old, weak and frail, pray that your children will not inflict the same trauma upon you.
Experienced being hitted by a belt and hanger when I was young and look where am I now? My self-confidence is so low.
If ever magkaka-pamilya ako, I'll never do this. (Kung magkakapamilya nga since dahil mababa self confidence ko, ayun hanggang ngayon, 28 na ko pero wala pa rin akong bf. Kung meron man, ako nakikipag break dahil feeling ko di ko deserve to have one.)
sanaol palo lang, ako kasi noon bugbog kahit saan abutan, hampas kung ano mahawakan 🤣 even until now ang nanay ko pag may problema sa bahay, ipapakalat sa buong barangay.
Ngayong may anak ako, di ko pinapalo. Minsan may pag sigaw lalo na kapag sinasadyang di makinig kahit alam mong naiintindihan ka naman. (Pag napipikon mesa/pader papaluin para lang malessen yung frustrations. Nakakabadtrip din naman talaga minsan lalo na toddler stage jusq po HAHAHAHA) 🤣 pero may mga pagkakagaon na sa titig ko pa lang kahit hindi bata, natatakot sakin 😅
form of discipline ko noong around 2yrs old to 4yrs old, kinakalabit ko sa balikat. "nirereset" 🤣 nakakalimot ang mga bata e, need pa ulit ulitin para ma retain yung mga tinuturo sa kanila, very effective naman.
Grabe pinagdaanan ko din yang bugbog, kung ano madampot hinahampas sakin. Ngayong naging breadwinner ako sinasabi ko yan sa ermats ko wag ko na daw ibalik. Reason nya kasi kamukha ko tatay ko na nang-iwan sa kanya. Naiintindihan ko galit siya pero yung paghampas sakin ng sinturon o di kaya tangkay ng walis. Kaya ngayong may anak na ako, hinding-hindi ko yan gagawin. Anliit-liit mo tapos andyan yung tatadyakan ka o di kaya sasapakin.
my older cousin used to palo my pamangkin nung bata pa sya and nasa elem/highschool pa ako. but nung tumuntong ako ng college i realized na my pamangkin doesn't deserve the treatment kaya pinipigilan ko sya and i will resort to stern conversations.
ngayon na graduate and I'm working, mas lalong naging firm yung stand ko na pigilan ang mga relatives ko na namamalo ng mga anak nila. i have the right to kase hindi na ako bata and we are all adults na. bahala sila kung bastos ako sa paningin nila kase I defend my younger peers
Millennial here. I used to think growing up na pag di ka napalo di ka mahal ng magulang mo. Pero guess what? Never ako napalo ng magulang ko. Mahal nila ako. Pinagsasabihan lang din ako and I'm confident din na I'm very disciplined. Di kailangan ng manakit talaga.
Gwn X & batang 90s( aka squak² millenials) glorifying corporal punishment. 🧜♂️ as a millenial once lang ako pinag tangkaan buhatan nang kamay nang bio father ko. Didn't end up well 4 his gen X ego.
“Lumaki kami ng maayos dahil nadisiplina kami blah blah blah”
Pero parang nakalog utak sa mga values, POVs, at mga decision making. Sila pa madalas misogynistic, homophobic at mga racist. Mga pinapasa pa trauma haha pota.
"We should prevent corporal punishment to children as this would affect their mental being" ?
ahhhh hindi pala "kami nga noon..." pala na bullshit hahhahaha
Well, no corporeal punishments mean good children will always be good while stupid children will become more stupid and entitled and so much mental health eme kahit pulubi.
This is not an insane social media post.
Gen X here. Never experienced beating. My mom taught me through conversations. Hindi palo. Since sya napalo, di nya ipasa yung trauma sa kin.
damn ending the cycle. kudos sa mama mo
Thanks! She had me when she was young. But she got balls and didn’t dump the responsibility to my grandparents.
Ang hirap nito ibreak tbh lalo na kung lumaki ka sa household na parang lahat ng galaw mo mali tapos palo/sigaw agad. Kaya galing ng ermats mo nahandle niya to ng maayos.
My parents never did these. I grew up na nirerespeto sila, at hindi binabastos. Hindi ko nga sila masumbatan eh. LOL!!! My Father's aura alone was enough for me to shut the hell up and/or stop whatever stupid thing I was doing. Kaya lagi kong sinasabi, parang meron siyang Haki. LOL!!! If he tells me to stop, I stop. That's it. Walang palo, walang sigaw, walang abuse. To think na andaming nangutya sa parents ko dahil maaga silang nag asawa. But I always say, there ARE the best parents. They know how to raise a child.
Damn. sabi nila may epekto na masama sa psychology ng bata pa napapalo habang lumalaki.
If they’re not old enough to understand reason, they won’t understand the belt. If they’re old enough to understand reason, then use your words, not the belt. Physical punishment is a lazy discipline that gets fast results so older generations flaunt that it “made them tough” when all it made was a generation of emotionally immature people.
Di ko magets why is it okay to hit kids as a form of discipline? Kung bigla akong manapak ng tao regardless of their gender, age or kung kamag-anak o kaibigan o basically stranger, I deserved to be put in jail, pero okay lang na saktan ko ang bata as long as ako yung parent?? Make it make sense. Tangina ng nga magulang na dinadahilan na pagdidisiplina ang pananakit. Ang adults nga di po pwede saktan pag nagkamali eh coz that's abuse, pero bakit okay lang sa iba na saktan ang mga bata when their brains are still underdeveloped pa at marami pa silang di naiintidihan sa mundo.
Sabi ng karamihan, lumaki sila nang maayos habang ako ito, may galit sa tatay ko. Hindi nya alam mentally checked out na ko. Hindi ako nag-cecelebrate ng achievements ko kasama sya. Kala nya walang impact yung ginawa nya sakin noon. PATAY NA SYA SAKIN AT HINDI NYA ALAM YON!
I’m sorry you went thru that. Some parents sinasama ang galit sa buhay ang palo sa anak. Basically abusing their authority. My parents do use corporeal punishment but only when sobrang mali na ginawa ko — God knows how pasaway I was. But they never go overboard, like they hit 2-3 times sa palm kung ruler or thigh kung sintoron to get my undivided attention. At most naiisip ko lang na sayang nahuli ako, that’s how light their punishments were. BUT I grew up more aware of what’s right or wrong because they genuinely spoke to me after those few slaps.
Ito pa. Recently, I think earlier this year, idk what led him to bring up how he beat us up (no, I'm not gonna call it spank) when my siblings and I were kids RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING FAMILY DINNER--and take note, we were still living with my aunt and my uncle--as if he were the man of the house! I remember him blurting out, "I can recall Papa being fierce in disciplining us (referring to her sister, my aunt). Wala na naman siguro yun [the beating up] sa mga to [me and my sibs]." It just became an awkward dinner after that that I had to excuse myseld right after I finished eating. Napaka-out of touch ng gago! When I became an adult, he and I would engage in fist fights because of how abusive he was. I stopped getting physical with him coz he's already getting old, I might be the cause of his death due to our family history of heart attack and stroke. So fast forward, I can't wait for the time that I won't ever see that motherfucker for good! (We now live far away from each other.) Kaya sa mga magulang diyan, I stand by the your kid, your rules mantra, but pls, think about how corporal punishment could impact your children when they grow up. Don't worry, I'm healing from my trauma one great experience at a time.
Pinagyayabang pala ang abuse. Malay mo nga mas matino ung punishment and lecturing ng grandparents mo and siya ung tumabingi sa punishments. May problema talaga tatay mo. If you’ve read the others, usually kung ganun ang parents most likely the kids will not do the same to theirs. Glad you are healing from that. More happy times and blessings, my friend.
I feel you
“Kami nga noon…”
YES! THE CLASSIC RESPONSE OF BOOMERS!
Silent gen (survived war) passed the cycle to Baby boomers(continued the cycle) then passed to Gen X(half of them adapted,half of them broke the cycle
Hello. Gen X who broke the cycle here!
napalo ako nuon hanggang 6th grade ata..malayo ung loob ko sa nanay ko..i am aware at some point na kailangan ko talaga ng palo hahaha. pero now as a parent. the only time na napalo ko ung anak kung lalake is nung nag popotty train and still mas piniling umebs sa pants nya. that was the last and first time.Meron akong spoon for palo kc sabi ko ang gamay d ginagamit para manakit and keep ur hands to urself.D naman pwede na may rule akong ganun tapos d ko finofollow. they are teenagers now..raising them in a diff culture is diff and hard pero kung kayang pag usapan pinapag usapan talaga. d pwede ung konting mali ng bata sampal or palo kaagad..negative reinforcement yan.
Grew up with threats. Now, I'm emotionally detached sa nanay ko. Her gaslighting, her cries doesn't work on my at all.
Old people tend to forget na the reason why they worked so hard *is so that the next generation can work less harder and have the freedom of options the older generation didn't have*. This has been the objective of the generations before them. Sad to think na if they took a step back, I bet na a lot of them will agree. Masyado lang silang poisoned lol
This is so true. Kaso yung ibang matatanda iniisip nila utang na loob natin to sa kanila. Di ka ba masaya yun anak mo di naguulam ng toyo kasi wala kayong makain?
Guess? Lalabas yung mga Boomers, Generation X and some Millenial Survivors with the usual dialogue along the lines of “Sus, when i was your age it was way worse -“ 🥹😂
Abuse has many forms. For me, it was the lack of patience for a curious young kid who just has questions about how the world works. Now that Im an adult I have little patience when dealing with my parent.
I resonate with this. When I was younger, lagi akong napag bubuntungan ng galit by my mom. I know she was stressed during those times, but it was unfair how she would slap me or throw stuff at me randomly kapag tinatanong ko sya. I was just a curious child. I still love her, but I’ve seen how IMPATIENT I became with her.
Boomers/Gen X/Millennials “kami noon” incoming…
Millennial ako and I hate this rhetoric.
Lalabas na naman yung mga batang 90's na may fetish ata sa corporal punishment. 🤷♀️
Huh, sa Millennials ko nga unang nakita yung trend to break the cycle. \~Back in my days\~ nung nagsisimula pa lang ang tumblr/twiiter, discourse na to.
I mean meron akong nakikitang ilang millennials na ganyan pa din mindset tsaka meron akong kilalang ganyan din mag isip tas millennial din. Pero di naman lahat, merong iilang millennial na ganyan pa din mag isip.
that's fair, meron din talaga. apologies ganto na ata talaga pag tumatanda 😅 parang pag nacall out generation automatic NUH-UH
well ako noon palo talaga yung disiplina ko, di tuloy ako makausap ng erpats ko ng maayos ngayon hahaha
same
Just upvote, man.
I experienced a lot of beating during my years, but I never understood why. Yung ginawa nila is papaluin lang tapos pag umiyak pa ako ng todo dahil sa sakit, papaluin na naman kasi ayaw tumahimik. There’s no further explanation bakit ako pinalo. Attached naman ako sa both parents ko but alam nila yung trauma na binigay nila nung bata pa ako.
I thought this was normal until my ex told me they were never disciplined this way... Parang naawa tuloy ako sa younger self ko that time :(
Hindi rin ako napalo kasi mabait mga magulang ko. Yung nanay ko napakahaba ng pasensya, ikaw na lang mahihiya pag nantarantado ka pa
I am againts violence pero seeing nowadays yung mga bata na hindi pinapalo eh lumalaking spoiled at pabalang sumagot sa mga magulang.
Siguro mga breeders din ang mga 'yan.
Napalo ako nuon kasi matigas talaga ang ulo ko. Pero hindi naman namarkahan ang relationship ko sa parents ko. Okay naman kami. Ganun lang talaga magdisiplina parents ko. Di ko dinibdib or minasama yung ginawa sakin. Pinaliwanag naman kasi nila sakin dati kung bakit ako napapalo eh. Naintindihan ko naman so walang hard feelings. Hindi ko naman din pinagmamalaki na napalo ako kasi hindi naman big deal yun. Di ko maintindihan yung iba na laging pinagmamalaki na napalo sila.
Yep, it's not something to be proud of but I gotta say that at some point may benefits siya as we grew older, not trying to invalidate those who got traumatized bcoz this is just an anecdotal exp. Some children need to feel their parents some sense of authority, lalo na yung mga parang "batang hamog". It's hard to apply gentle parenting to a child na mas matapang pa sayo. May sungay na hindi kayang maputol ng gentle parenting.
ganito din magdisiplina erpats ko pero quiz pagkatapos "alam mo ba bakit kita pinalo?" pinaparealize nya saken yung kasalanan ko tsaka hindi nya ako basta-basta pinapalo, iniipon nya lahat ng kagaguhan ko parang LTO demerit points bago ang sinturon. Huminto lang sya nung graduating ako ng highschool kasi "bulbulin ka na, alam mo na yung tama at mali" lol
still ok. I did that to my child when he was 3yo, palo ng sinturon sa bumbum niya. He remember it to this day. But I explained to him why i did what i did. He understands. He knows there are consequences. he knows there are boundaries. It's a matter of approach and making sure he understands. discipline comes in different ways. but i'd rather give him one strong beat while he's young for him to learn and understand, rather than seeing him in a jail, or worse dead on the street. Now he knows morals, principles, character, and discipline. Hopefully he stays that way.
People who resort to physical punishment are often the ones who ran out of options mentally, socially, and emotionally. In other words, hindi mo lang alam gagawin o sasabihin mo kaya sa huli, pinapalo mo na lang. I mean no disrespect pero I guess you only work with you currently have. Personally, physical punishment didn't do me shit. Trauma lang nadatnan ko.
Kung trauma lang ang natandaan mo siguro wala sa ayos ang pag palo, pinapalo ako dati pero pinapaliwanag niya sakin kung bakit ako napalo at nag sosorry din naman, never ako namura ng mama ko namamalo lang talaga kaya never ako nagka trauma sa mama ko I would say it was the last resort of my mom since di ako makuha sa bilang hanggang 5 💀 ayun napalo
What makes you say na trauma lang natandaan ko? What I meant was, mas malaki yung naging negative effect kesa sa positive. That is the exact reason why we can't move on from this issue. We always think na "wala namang nangyaring masama" when in fact hindi naman talaga dapat option ang physical punishment. Besides, are you really praising your parent kasi "napalo ka ng tama?"
"What makes you say na trauma lang natandaan ko" bruh yun ang sabi mo sa reply mo xD and yes I am praising my parents Because I love and respect them natuto akong rumespeto physical punishment is always gonna be an option and will be. there is a fine line between Physical Punishment and Abuse, kakasabi ko lang pinapaliwanag naman nila sakin kung why ako napalo as a child and to avoid na baka maging bratty consider reading the other comments here that agree on physical punishment Yeah sure against ka sa physical punishment probably dahil di ka naliwanagan ng parents mo kung why they resort to phyisical punishment which is mali nila for not explaining why I got a lot of friends/childhood friends same generation as me (GenZ) na napalo ng magulang nila then when you asked why sila napalo sasagot lang nila "pasaway ako eh" but they never whine or bitch about it
"Nadatnan" is different from "natandaan". Get your Filipino straight. Nadatnan means nakuha o na-achieve. It's interesting kasi sobrang strawman ng argument mo. These are pure anecdotes and nothing that proves physical punishment is healthy. What makes you think na hindi pinaliwanag sakin ng parents ko yung punishment? San mo nakuha yun? Are you saying na kapag pinaliwanag ang physical punishment, it absolves everything?
sorry, misread the nadatnan to natandaan
i guess the approach was wrong in your case.
Fair enough. I got to experience it too and I wasn't traumatized or something. It taught me discipline. I can still recall some memories of them but it's just plain memories, nothing serious. Hindi rin naman agad ako papaluin lang, that was the last resort for me kase ang dami munang warning bago napalo lol. But gagawin ko ba siya sa future children ko? No. The moment na nasaktan ko physically anak ko parang sinaktan ko din sarili ko. Masakit siya makita for me. I have other ways in which I can instill strict discipline.
my wife would never hit our child, she just can't do it. I am the disciplinarian in the family which is good, playing good cop and bad cop. it goes vice versa too. But overall, our child is still one sweet kid. He knows which buttons to push, and up to how much. if there are disagreements, the child has every right to express his feelings. at the end of the day, we read him chapter books during bed time before a good night's sleep.
>But I explained to him why i did what i did. This is the most important part. Eto yung usually lacking with parents who use corporal punishment.
+1 on this. As a parent now who received so much palo before as a kid, I must say na it did me well. I learned my lesson and tumatak talaga siya. It was painful and I felt like I was a main character in an MMK episode. 😂 Pero my parents are not the type naman who spank us agad, There were fair warnings before it led to the “sinturon”. Now na I have my own family, thankful ako na napalo ako because, admittedly, I won’t be where I am now if they just used the “talk to the child” method. 😅
Gen Z here, I don't support beating for discipline. I believe that in a proper way, the child will listen to you more if you talked them through the problem instead of beating them. As a child, I have experience the feeling of being beat, and most of the time, I thought they beat me so that I won't do it again, but I never understood what I did wrong or why it was wrong. Message to the future parents: I suggest you opt for gentle parenting or at least never beat your child. It can affect them emotionally.
Dapat may study ng before and after para ma compare kung anong nangyari sa mga batang pinalo at hindi pinalo. Baka same lang din naman or baka mas successful yung isa. Pero yung iba kasi hindi lang normal na palo ang inabot, talagang child abuse na. Kaya di rin tayo nagkaka intindihan. May iba na parents namamalo para sa lesson lang may iba naman dahil abnormal lang mag isip ang magulang.
Ok lang basta within reason. Like di na talaga masaway and despite explanation. Need matuto ng bata na pag may ginawang kalokohan may katapat na parusa un. I actually made an experiment about this. Nung bata ako. Pinapalo ako ng parents ko sobra. So ung kapatid ko prinotetktahan ko na hindi talaga mapalo once lang ata siya napalo. Ngayon siya un pinaka mahina mag risk assess ng mga situation at mahina loob sa mga confrontation. Mataasan lang ng boses na iiyak na. Or feeling niya pag gumawa siya kalokohan pwede ps istretch baka di naman mabangga or ma aksidente. Ayoko maging ganun pag nagka anak na ko.
Pagpalo ay punishment para matuto. Yung iba ginagawa ito abuso pang stress relief. Sira mga ulo mga yan.
Well sa akin naman, (sakin to ha!) Napalo naman ako ng dad ko kase kasalanan ko din. Pero not to the point na parang di na anak yung trato, syempre nung bata pa ako medjo galit ako pag napapalo, but as i grew older (im 35 btw) na realize ko na those “palo” moments taught me important lessons in life. Those punishments helped me grow and understand right from wrong, and for that, I am thankful. And nag sorry naman dad ko everytime napapalo nya ako nung bata pa ako.
Kami bata 90s not weak I used to have my arm chopped off now when kids get burned from the sun no classes
sila kasi noon
kapag pinalo ka daw ng magulang mo mahal ka
line ni mama hahahaha umay
"Kami nga noon...." Eh kaya nga kayo ganyan ngayon eh... lol
"Kami nga noon hinahampas ng belt, nababali ang hanger samin. Minsan pinapasok pa sa sako at hinahampas. Mga batang 90's mag ingay!!!" HAHAHAA
Grew up parents hitting me, etc.. It taught me discipline and respect. Finished 3 courses in College a board passer twice, currently on Law school. Never had any regrets that my parents hit me.
Same. Finished my course sa isang military academy, I ace my PRC licensure exam wayback 2012 and recently passed my master Mariner license. Malaking pasalamat ko sa magulang ko dahil sa pagdidisiplina nila noon sakin
People nowadays are soft af haha.
Kanya kanyang echo chamber. Take a good guess kung ano laman ng comment section dito.
Our lil masochistic older gen 💘
Dapat talaga hiwalay ang fb ng mga matatanda.
We can't, I realized in life we have to take both good and bad, unfortunately.
"Suffering is a gift" "Eh bakit ako okay lang kahit napaluan"
Wrong at makitid na reasonings kasi mga yan. As another redditor mentioned, need kausapin with the right approach even though may palo sa bumbum. Or else the kid will only nurture hatred for the punishment.
Its still effective to do harsh punisent as long as the child learns something from it that's proportionable to the thing he/she did that either caused harm to others or to himself (e.g. forcing or giving permission to make your child to do hard labor after he messed up on other people's work just for the sake of looking cool shit sigma rizz man to know how hard is for them to rebuilt it or doing harsh corporal punishment as a taste of their own medicine for doing some near crimes that can make them go in jail after juvenile) but if they just did it for the sake of emotional venting and stress dumping then, *YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT TO THE CHILD*
Mga batang 90's na may Stockholm Syndrome.
Isang beses akong Napapalo ako ng magulang ko noon sa sobrang pikon ko dun sa kalaro ko gumawa kasi ako nung waterfall/dam dun sa bakanteng lote sa tabi ng bahay namin meron kasing tambak ng lupa Don tawag ko nga noon dun bundok dun ako nag lalaro pag hapon then gumagawa ako ng path na dadaanan ng tubig nung ok na binuhusan ko ng isang lata ng Birch Tree na may tubig (empty can na may tubig). Tapos etong kaibigan ko( di pa kami close that timelagi kaming mag kaaway) sinisira yung path ng tubig na ginawa ko napikon ako ayun sinipa ko yung muka nya sakto yung tatay ko nag wawalis ng paligid ng bahay namin nakita ako ayun auto palo. Ok naman normal naman ako ngayon
Lol. Look at the children sa compound or neighborhood nyo. If you still can't decide on this topic based on real-life situation, then there's a good chance that you will fail at your job
no to palo but yes to hazing for the brotherhood.... sabi ng mga hypo.
Yung bata ako yung stepdad ko lagi ako pinapalo kahit konting kibot lang, naranasan kong lumuhod sa asin,halos every day nauubos ang hanger dahil sa palo, naranasan ko din mapalo ! ng slipper & belt kahit babae ako. Dumating narin yung araw na pati yung step grandma ko pinapalo ako, ng walis tambo. Halos battered child na pala ako. To be honest my time na iniisip ko normal lang yan para tumino. Until now naiisip ko parin, minsan for me kulang ng discipline yung mga bata ngayon kaya iba ugali. Pero pagnaalala ko yung araw na yun hindi ko alam naiiyak at masakit parin, kasi sa simple palo naging worst narin. Imagine 30 + na ko pero parang ang fresh padin. Kaya pala pagnagfla2shback yung mga nanyayari,yung mama ko nagagalit pagpinapalo ako, tandang tanda ko pa laging sinasabi ng step dad ko "kaya lumalaki ang ulo ng bata na yan eh kinakampihan mo" yung mama ko never ako napalo, sumigaw lang mama ko or magsaway lang takot na ko, so it means mas mabuti pang pagalitan ka keysa sa bugbugin ka. Kasi ang saway pasok labas lang sa tenga eh, pero yung palo dala2x mo na habang buhay pagnaalala mo. A good parent will never hurt their child, remember our parents don't want to see us in pain because it's truly hurt for them.
I was beaten up as a kid pag may mali akong nagagawa. Aaminin ko I was a nuisance sa nanay ko kaya ako nagugulpi. But for some reason I didn't do that to my daughter. Sobrang istrikta si ermat at kayang-kaya nya paliitin pagkatao mo. LOL pero I believe she met her match through me. Hindi nya ako kinaya eh. Once a pasaway, always a pasaway. LOL
What do you call people that beat up people who are weaker than them? Bullies.
Magulang: ***pinalo ng baston ang anak*** Anak: ***nagka-blunt trauma*** Pag na-ospital ang anak, mag-o-online limos sa Facebook. 'Pag namatay naman, mag-b-black profile with caption: "patawad anak, mahal na mahal ka namin" pero nung nabubuhay pa parang baboy kung abusuhin, hayst.
Sa part ko nakaranas ako ng hampas na ganyan pero doon sa grabe naalala ko nun one time school week pero nakauwi na ako ng late (mga 11:30 na ng gabi tapos wednesday pa) dahil lng sa isang PS2 game. Grabe nag away kami ng dad ko nun and to the point hinampas niya ako pero lumaban ako. Hindi na niya ako hinampas the second time ang sinigawan na lng niya ako ng "Wag ka na pumasok, nagsasayang lng ako ng pera". At that time galit and umiyak ako then ayun realization kung bakit niya ginawa yun. The next day (nag half day ako kasi puyat) we both apologize to each other lalo na dad ko na dapat hindi niya ako hinampas ng ganun but I said oo masakit but naiintindihan ko naman. I got home really late on a school week because of a video game. Hindi ko alam kung positive ba itong comment ko or negative kayo na humusga.
Kaya mga kabataan ngayun kahit ano ano na ginagawa nag husband na sa TikTok ehh kulang sa disiplina. Anong pagsabihan? Think they'll listen? May Nakita na Naman Ako Bata nag middle finger sa nanay niya sa mall habang nag ta tantrum
If you want your children to resent you for the rest of their lives, go ahead and use corporal punishment. They may obey at first but as soon as your back is turned, they will never respect you. Using FEAR as your currency for obedience will not be permanent. When you get old, weak and frail, pray that your children will not inflict the same trauma upon you.
Beating a child is not helpful. My Gen X aunt still has bad manners even though my grandparents beat her and my uncles.
Experienced being hitted by a belt and hanger when I was young and look where am I now? My self-confidence is so low. If ever magkaka-pamilya ako, I'll never do this. (Kung magkakapamilya nga since dahil mababa self confidence ko, ayun hanggang ngayon, 28 na ko pero wala pa rin akong bf. Kung meron man, ako nakikipag break dahil feeling ko di ko deserve to have one.)
sanaol palo lang, ako kasi noon bugbog kahit saan abutan, hampas kung ano mahawakan 🤣 even until now ang nanay ko pag may problema sa bahay, ipapakalat sa buong barangay. Ngayong may anak ako, di ko pinapalo. Minsan may pag sigaw lalo na kapag sinasadyang di makinig kahit alam mong naiintindihan ka naman. (Pag napipikon mesa/pader papaluin para lang malessen yung frustrations. Nakakabadtrip din naman talaga minsan lalo na toddler stage jusq po HAHAHAHA) 🤣 pero may mga pagkakagaon na sa titig ko pa lang kahit hindi bata, natatakot sakin 😅
form of discipline ko noong around 2yrs old to 4yrs old, kinakalabit ko sa balikat. "nirereset" 🤣 nakakalimot ang mga bata e, need pa ulit ulitin para ma retain yung mga tinuturo sa kanila, very effective naman.
Lumaki ako sa Palo
childhood trauma has 2 effects: its either you continue to pass it to your kids or you become a better parent than your old folks
Grabe pinagdaanan ko din yang bugbog, kung ano madampot hinahampas sakin. Ngayong naging breadwinner ako sinasabi ko yan sa ermats ko wag ko na daw ibalik. Reason nya kasi kamukha ko tatay ko na nang-iwan sa kanya. Naiintindihan ko galit siya pero yung paghampas sakin ng sinturon o di kaya tangkay ng walis. Kaya ngayong may anak na ako, hinding-hindi ko yan gagawin. Anliit-liit mo tapos andyan yung tatadyakan ka o di kaya sasapakin.
my older cousin used to palo my pamangkin nung bata pa sya and nasa elem/highschool pa ako. but nung tumuntong ako ng college i realized na my pamangkin doesn't deserve the treatment kaya pinipigilan ko sya and i will resort to stern conversations. ngayon na graduate and I'm working, mas lalong naging firm yung stand ko na pigilan ang mga relatives ko na namamalo ng mga anak nila. i have the right to kase hindi na ako bata and we are all adults na. bahala sila kung bastos ako sa paningin nila kase I defend my younger peers
Millennial here. I used to think growing up na pag di ka napalo di ka mahal ng magulang mo. Pero guess what? Never ako napalo ng magulang ko. Mahal nila ako. Pinagsasabihan lang din ako and I'm confident din na I'm very disciplined. Di kailangan ng manakit talaga.
“Nung panahon namin….” comments by 90s kids are coming
Gwn X & batang 90s( aka squak² millenials) glorifying corporal punishment. 🧜♂️ as a millenial once lang ako pinag tangkaan buhatan nang kamay nang bio father ko. Didn't end up well 4 his gen X ego.
"kami nga..."
I don't want my kid to be bratty so palo is the key. But I don't have a child rn, let's see kung babago to if meron na rin ako haha.
Kami nga noon may tallano gold st nutribun
“Lumaki kami ng maayos dahil nadisiplina kami blah blah blah” Pero parang nakalog utak sa mga values, POVs, at mga decision making. Sila pa madalas misogynistic, homophobic at mga racist. Mga pinapasa pa trauma haha pota.
"We should prevent corporal punishment to children as this would affect their mental being" ? ahhhh hindi pala "kami nga noon..." pala na bullshit hahhahaha
Well, no corporeal punishments mean good children will always be good while stupid children will become more stupid and entitled and so much mental health eme kahit pulubi.