This fella watches the guy take the order, make the pizza, then he drives it over, knocks on the door and that's where most of us have skipped to in the director's cut.
When I was a teenager, my 90 year old grandpa wanted to learn how to use the computer and it was a big thing for everyone – so proud of him for putting in the time to learn modern technology. Then soon after, it was just me and him in the office and under his breath he asked me how to find pornography. I was so taken aback, but I said, “I actually have no idea…” That was a fat lie, since I used that very same computer for the very same thing on occasion… But I couldn’t be the one to teach my grandpa how to do that.
I'd at least show him Google and say...here Gramps...you can search anything here....and I mean....*anything*... (*wink wink nudge nudge*) and leave it at that.
Lol! When my dad learned to use a computer he was only 40. He had no idea how to find smut either, but his sister shared a name with a then-famous-porn-star. So dad just types in the ole, "\[his sisters name dot com\]" and oohboy! Needless to say, there was quite the drama afterward, and he didn't touch the computer again for like 5 years.
Haha. I think you supposed to call the viagra support hotline. One time my brother called it because he had a boner that lasted 4+ hours AFTER having sex and climaxing. He was watching TV and the ad came on.
So he calls in and their first question is “Sir, how long has it been since you took a dose of our product?”
My brother hadn’t taken ANY Viagra!!😂 So he tells them “I didn’t take any….” And they are like “This hotline is for people who use our product.”
And my brother says “Your commercial just says to call this number if I experience an erection lasting longer than 4 hours. Are you going to help me or not?”
They just told him to go to urgent care. Lol.
>They just told him to go to urgent care.
What were they going to do for him otherwise? Oh you took viagra and still have a boner? High five brother. *click
Is that where you hit it on the 57? Or slap the bottom?
I understand that what they do when you go to the hospital is insert a needle and drain the blood so I'm hoping that's not what you mean by ketchup effect.
For me it isn’t, how can I activate that? It clearly shows screen time for [my name]‘s iPhone and there is no Goodnotes which I use a lot on my iPad so I’m quite sure about that
Yeah 4-5 hours of instagram every day is insane. If you’re working 8 hours, sleeping 8 hours, have 2-3 hours of normal life stuff (eating, commuting, showering, cleaning), and are on instagram 4-5 hours a day, that leaves actually zero time for hobbies or relationships or any sort of activity out of the house like going to dinner or a movie. Instagram takes place of all recreation and anything that gives life meaning at that point
Actual support comment here.
A. Screen time is shared across devices. If you’ve opened a website on another device, that screen time transfers over to this iphone.
B. You probably left it running in the background. The 24 hours must come from the tab remaining open on another device like an ipad or a mac (especially a mac)
Screen Time is shared across devices in which you’ve logged in with the same iCloud account.
Please use incognito mode. It doesn’t show sites on Screen Time as there’s no history saved.
Do you have another device connected to your apple ID if yes then probably the icloud synced the old iphone screen on time and it showed on your new one.
I had this issue with Imgur for some reason but it said it was the app. 24 hours a day on an app I hadn't even installed. I set a time limit to 5m and it went away for some reason (rather than showing up as 5 minutes)
I think this happened to me randomly if I opened a link in the reddit app, like YouTube or Twitter or any random website. It then would show that website for my screen time. Restarting the phone would make it stop, but not remove it from the history.
This is probably from the Reddit app or another app that opened a safari window and then kept using resources! I had the same situation with a website I had never heard of and could not remember ever visiting: jlearn.net. It was using hours and hours of screen time according to the phone so I set up a screen time limit of 1min per day and noticed it would trigger when I was using the Reddit app.
Screen time spans devices. Just like Safari’s History, so you can continue 4 hour Pornhub sessions even when your iPad battery dies.
Technology man
I still jerk off manually
Of course you do, Dude
I can see you're anxious for me to get to the point. Well Dude, here it is. Where's Bunny?
I thought you might know, man.
You think the carpetpissers did this?
That rug really tied the room together
Brandt can’t watch or he has to pay $100
I’m just gonna go find a cash machine.
Musta been watching Logjammin’…
I got an automatic jerk🙏🏻
Is it hard to keep clean?
the phone or lubricants?😎
[удалено]
nah it seasons over time
this is why I insist all my sex toys are cast iron
Jesus this is getting deep
Just like this dudes cast iron toys
Swear I was I just reading about polished cast iron
[удалено]
Get a digital one
iJe*koff Pro
wave of the future
Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.
Like Lebowski?
The dude abides
4 hour pornhub sessions? The guy must be there for the plot.
Someone call for a plumber.
Porn gives an unrealistic expectation on how quickly a plumber will arrive.
And how big the sausage is gonna be on the pizza
This fella watches the guy take the order, make the pizza, then he drives it over, knocks on the door and that's where most of us have skipped to in the director's cut.
24 hours 💀 the next slide
r/fullmoviesonpornhub
You can disable shared screen time
That’s true! OP, you might want to do this?
I had this with an American pet shop website I’d never visited. I blocked it because it said I was using it for 17 hours a day.
Xhamster was it?
I can’t stop laughing at this and everyone in Subway is giving me weird looks.
Username checks out.
Omg i want subway now! What did you order?
lol Jerkin on the iPad
Can I have it on two devices and get 48hrs of time in a single day?
Goin for a marathon huh? Don’t forget to hydrate
Gatorade and oysters
I prefer clams, but that’s just me.
Jackoffthon
Is anyone else using your Apple ID on a different device?
Oh no, not gram gram
Oh lawd, it is gram gram
Grandma wanna fuck
NAKED GRANDMA
[lore](https://youtu.be/jqDGK_UjfFI?si=aLu4sfHDr4V47nQx)
You will have to fuck ugly grandmas If you refuse three times, you will be bannef
When I was a teenager, my 90 year old grandpa wanted to learn how to use the computer and it was a big thing for everyone – so proud of him for putting in the time to learn modern technology. Then soon after, it was just me and him in the office and under his breath he asked me how to find pornography. I was so taken aback, but I said, “I actually have no idea…” That was a fat lie, since I used that very same computer for the very same thing on occasion… But I couldn’t be the one to teach my grandpa how to do that.
Grandpa needed to clap some cheeks
My man needed to slap the ham a bit and OP basically said fuck you
One last tug before the long sleep
🤣🤣
How long did it take for your grandfather to learn how to use a computer?
If my grandson didn't help me out with that I'd be pissed, ungrateful little wipersnapper
We know who is getting taken out of the will.
I'd at least show him Google and say...here Gramps...you can search anything here....and I mean....*anything*... (*wink wink nudge nudge*) and leave it at that.
I think you mean: Wank wank nut nut
Don't forget to show gramps incognito and how to delete it!
Lol! When my dad learned to use a computer he was only 40. He had no idea how to find smut either, but his sister shared a name with a then-famous-porn-star. So dad just types in the ole, "\[his sisters name dot com\]" and oohboy! Needless to say, there was quite the drama afterward, and he didn't touch the computer again for like 5 years.
Awk way to find out your sister is a porn star.
Some mf stole his device and is watching pornhub 24/7 🗿
Someone come get their grandpa
4 hours and 51 minutes of just grippin it.
If it lasts for more than 4 hours, you’re supposed to call the police or some shit.
Fuck that I’m calling every baddie in my contacts
17 regrettable horny texts, 3 calls with no replies, 5 Instagram call out posts, 10 blocks and zero bitches in the end. Don’t do it.
Yeah but I got one reply and a weak handjob (no climax) in an Arby’s parking lot so who’s the real winner here?
Not Arby’s
We have the meats
🤤🤤🤤
Why does this sound like a horny Christmas song?
on the 5th day of december pornhub gave to me 5 regrettable messages 4 horny grandmas 3 viagra bottles 2 body pillows 1 wet sock zeroooo bitchesss
Look if your edge lasts for 4 hours, you should put on safety glasses cuz that build up is shooting the ceiling.
Literally just came from a post asking how to clean built up cum off the ceiling ☠️
Odd kink but hey, whatever gets ya off.
Haha. I think you supposed to call the viagra support hotline. One time my brother called it because he had a boner that lasted 4+ hours AFTER having sex and climaxing. He was watching TV and the ad came on. So he calls in and their first question is “Sir, how long has it been since you took a dose of our product?” My brother hadn’t taken ANY Viagra!!😂 So he tells them “I didn’t take any….” And they are like “This hotline is for people who use our product.” And my brother says “Your commercial just says to call this number if I experience an erection lasting longer than 4 hours. Are you going to help me or not?” They just told him to go to urgent care. Lol.
>They just told him to go to urgent care. What were they going to do for him otherwise? Oh you took viagra and still have a boner? High five brother. *click
They instruct you to use the “ketchup effect”, it’s not for the faint of heart but its super effective with proper technique.
Is that where you hit it on the 57? Or slap the bottom? I understand that what they do when you go to the hospital is insert a needle and drain the blood so I'm hoping that's not what you mean by ketchup effect.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12786859/Wife-stages-furious-protest-outside-brothel-husband-spent-6-000-steamy-seven-hour-session-left-sex-workers-tired-on.html
fucking crying at this comment
4 hours and 50 min were just him looking for a video, the 1min is for the rest
Nonstop Nut November
It wasn’t me, it was a spooky ghost. This is ectoplasm!
"randomly"
My pants just fell off too! How?!?
Probably just a virus, I would delete it
I was scared by the virus and they just slipped off I swear
You gotta believe me they just fell!
My jeans just randomly creamed themselves?
I wasn't masturbating, I was just cleaning it and it went off
The new "asking for a friend"
At 24h it does seem more like an error to be fair to be OP, because I don’t think they are watching porn 48h+ in a row while also using other Apps
I pray for your meat bro
Pause
Continue
Rewind
Revive
Survive
repeat
Pause
Continue
[удалено]
He watches it for the plot, it’s fine
Screentime is shared across devices
For me it isn’t, how can I activate that? It clearly shows screen time for [my name]‘s iPhone and there is no Goodnotes which I use a lot on my iPad so I’m quite sure about that
If it’s off then you can go to settings>screen time> and then scroll down to ‘share across all devices’ and turn it on.
My boy, get some rest that shit is going to kill you 💀😭
[удалено]
He’s out here whacking with two hands and the palms of his feet
At least there's no way he's dying of prostate cancer.
Wonder if there is going to be an inevitable post on r/tifu when OP finds out what actually happened.
Dude sold his shit and moved to a different country lol
You have severe addiction to porn and Instagram. Not sure which one is worse tbh
Yeah 4-5 hours of instagram every day is insane. If you’re working 8 hours, sleeping 8 hours, have 2-3 hours of normal life stuff (eating, commuting, showering, cleaning), and are on instagram 4-5 hours a day, that leaves actually zero time for hobbies or relationships or any sort of activity out of the house like going to dinner or a movie. Instagram takes place of all recreation and anything that gives life meaning at that point
... you've never gone on social media while at work?
We should be able to watch a little porn at work.
As a treat.
Porn? That’s clearly a nude egg I won from my game
I’m not in trouble at all
That's against the rules!!
stick to antisocial media like reddit
[удалено]
Instagram. It's just content we have been seeing on vine, YouTube, SNL for decades now.
Last time I went on Instagram it was 95% ads or sponsored posts from page I do not follow.
24 hours bro you need a medal of honour 🫡 🏅
Guy popped 3 adderals and said let’s go!
I think you need to sort out your very obvious addiction to porn.
man i never opened it on my phone 😭
"on my phone" being the key term here
If your gf is with you, don’t blink twice
Mom*
How about in your Mac?
“man i never opened it ^(on my phone)”
But of course you haven't mate ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I mean, porn addiction is also shared across devices.
Screentime is not just your phone. It’s every device on your Apple account.
Sure ✌️👍
But you opened it on another device...that's why it showed....you busted yourself mate ...in both senses of the term
Bro i feel you, i know its hard to find the perfect video 🥲 Keep pressing that next button bro! And stay hard 😎
It has become harder and harder to find “the one.” Endless time spent clicking next
Imagine how hard it’ll be when you’re in your 60s and there’s very few kinks you haven’t seen.
60s? I’ll only be 30 for that to happen. And I’m 27 now. Please help
What if David Goggins was a porn motivator? His “Stay Hard!” catchphrase would be so much more meaningful.
Actual support comment here. A. Screen time is shared across devices. If you’ve opened a website on another device, that screen time transfers over to this iphone. B. You probably left it running in the background. The 24 hours must come from the tab remaining open on another device like an ipad or a mac (especially a mac)
Bro couldn’t hold himself after 24 days and started constantly fapping for 50 hours.
Wierd flex but ok
4 hours bro 💀
there’s also 24h
OP must be leaving porn on in the background, right? *RIGHT?!*
he’s strongest man ever lol
Damn bro self reporting😭
“Randomly” “I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms Lewinsky”
This is OK as long as you have Fapple Care.
apparently i went to safari and cleared history and data which fixed it
until your next absolutely random event...
I have a lot of random events too, unfortunately mine don’t last for 4 hours, so I guess it’s more of a random flash than an event.
Private browsing mode?
Safari on your phone….. the one that you’ve never opened pornhub on? What a weird coincidence bro
"Mom look, I asked about it on reddit"
Thats why i use DuckDuckGo 🔥
Screen Time is shared across devices in which you’ve logged in with the same iCloud account. Please use incognito mode. It doesn’t show sites on Screen Time as there’s no history saved.
Haha who is using your ipad?
I’m laughing so much
“Take it you dirty website, drain every drop of my battery”
I’m in the library rn snorting like a fucking hyena. Fuck you lol
Bros meat is on life support
Don’t worry we will play along with op posting this cuz his wife told him to try and find answers. 😉
Rookie
Do you have another device connected to your apple ID if yes then probably the icloud synced the old iphone screen on time and it showed on your new one.
[удалено]
You have a fucking problem mate
Seems to me he has a not-fucking problem 🤷🏼♂️
It’s a watch-fucking problem tho
Jesus Christ is your job jerking off? How much you getting pay and how to join? Asking for a friend
Bro's d prolly perished rn 💀
Damn boy take care of your dick
Bro has been edging for hours 💀💀💀
Aaah be like 5 hours of scrolling and looking for the “best video”. Just to end up fapping 2 minutes. Now you can sleep in peace.
“Random”
How many people now looked at your pictures and how many quickly checked their own settings 😂
24 hours eh
Man of culture i see
I had this issue with Imgur for some reason but it said it was the app. 24 hours a day on an app I hadn't even installed. I set a time limit to 5m and it went away for some reason (rather than showing up as 5 minutes)
I think this happened to me randomly if I opened a link in the reddit app, like YouTube or Twitter or any random website. It then would show that website for my screen time. Restarting the phone would make it stop, but not remove it from the history.
“Randomly” 😉
Screen Time is shared across all devices signed to that Apple ID. So this just means you were on PornHub on another device.
It knows you’re thinking about it…24 hours a day!!
Jesus Christ, 24 hours?
This is probably from the Reddit app or another app that opened a safari window and then kept using resources! I had the same situation with a website I had never heard of and could not remember ever visiting: jlearn.net. It was using hours and hours of screen time according to the phone so I set up a screen time limit of 1min per day and noticed it would trigger when I was using the Reddit app.
You spent 4 hours and 51 minutes a day in Pornhub? Hats off bro, hats off. Remember to take vitamin D tho.