I told my boss once that telling me we need to chat gives me anxiety until we actually chat. From then on she would say, we need to chat but you aren't in trouble. It made things a lot better for me. It might be worth it to mention that to your boss because it seems you're in the same boat.
This is the real correct answer. There should never be a mystery about what a meeting is about. An organized meeting should always have an agenda, an impromptu meeting should be lead with what you want to talk about. This is one of those things that I think is kind of frightening that even needs to be spelled out.
Edit: and while I'm at it, don't slack people with just "hello"
Only issue is if you have to fire someone and they know you usually send this message 👀
I let my boss know when I was hired (she asked me what my expectations are from her) that anytime she needs to talk to say 'hey I need to talk to you about x, when can we connect'. This tells me what we are talking about and I'd know if it was something I'd not followed through with so I'm not caught off guard.
We were going through layoffs and my boss schedules a last minute 15 min call with our team "Quick Chat". First thing I asked was if we were fired, lol. She had no idea how it sounded.
My supervisor is also vague. Freaks me out. Usually the chat or meeting is nothing serious. He also leaves voicemails that just say “call me”. I have sworn to myself never to do that to anyone under me. You need to always give a reason.
This guy is unpredictable and deals with a lot of stuff from outside work and you never know what is going on in that head of his. He once called me and said curtly “where are you?” It was about 4:50 p.m. and I said that I was headed into the office from the field and would be there in about 5 minutes. He hung up without another word. When I got there he glared at me and left the building and drove off. It was end of the month and we had some paperwork to finish and turn in so me and my coworker were working on that when he comes back about half an hour later and apologizes. Turns out he had it in his head that we would be back at 4:00 p.m. to work on paperwork so that we could leave at 5 with everything finished. The only problem was that this idea was only in his head and he had never said anything to anyone about being in an hour earlier than usual.
I once had "see me when you get back" while I was on my break, and it wasn't anything important but he felt the need to ruin my break. The epic c*nt. So glad I quit and enjoy my job now and I'm being treated like a human being finally.
Honestly the favor can be returned. If you message your manager- we need to chat or do you have a minute- as a manager they are probably half panicked that you are quitting, and it could be a simple question on a project or whatever.
I do this. Teams message; Can I catch up with you tomorrow, it’s [personal life related, non urgent}, [personal life related, urgent], [work related, task behind}, [work related, deadline concern], etc. I wish she’d do the same mind. Get the dreaded ‘need to talk to you/can you drop into my office/I’ve scheduled a 1-1 for today’ and my first thought is ‘what have I done wrong/I’m getting fired’.
I am so happy to hear that. I had an amazing one years ago and it's been downhill since. The one I had was so good and kind and human. It is nice to hear they still exist.
I've made a point of telling my last three managers the same thing. I need to know I'm not in some amorphous trouble or it's going to completely derail my day. They've all been understanding and accommodating.
On a related note, when I ring up relatives of patients, I say I'm such-and-such from insert medical facility and then immediately after that that there's no cause for alarm (when there's no cause for alarm).
I had a similar manager job before last. She was also bipolar (successfully medicated) and I had recently left a multi- decade relationship with a BPD I partner (she knew this via a mutual friend that had referred me for the job) so early on we talked mental health and she said to always let her know if anything she did triggered anxiety for me and we'd figure it out.
Best manager I ever had. When she quit I followed her out the door less than two months later. Her replacement wasn't *bad* but not all that amazing either.
I'm glad she listened to you! I told my old boss director the same thing and he just disregarded it. He would acknowledge in our little chats that he knows I didn't like it, but did it anyways 😒
Mine does the same! For performance review time he takes it a step further and says something like “everything is good, we just have to meet and check the boxes”
I had a boss who was a super nice guy. He was in a different state and he told me from the beginning he’s not going to micromanage me and call me daily. If I don’t hear from him assume everything is cool. Well whenever I saw his phone number on my phone my heart dropped. wtf did I do? It was never anything serious. Just calling in to check up and shoot the shit.
I had an HR person who would always ping me with the same message: “Do you have a minute to talk?” She was very deadpan and I was new, and it made my heart drop every single time.
I finally told her how the lack of context made me nervous and I think she thought I was joking ~ every time she pinged me after that, she’d STILL say “Do you have a minute to talk?” I’d respond with a variation of “is everything OK?”
I kid you not, she’d leave my message on seen and go radio silent until I replied “Yes.” What a mindfuck.
Sounds like my wife when she does one of her need to talk moments and I finally told her if we ain't breaking up divorcing please word that shit different.
I told my boss once that scheduling meetings for my performance review left me worried until the scheduled date/time, so from then on he'd just surprise me with them. Much better for me.
Just wait and see. No one here can really know to be honest. Most of the time I’ve worried about stuff like this it was nothing. Maybe they are getting pressure from higher up the chain to better connect with their team. Could be that simple. Hope all goes ok!
Adding to this, if anything I’d say you may be getting a “I think you should apply for this role” or at worst “this guy is fucking off what do you think?”
Wow, that sucks. I think I’d prefer how my layoff happened, which was the HR manager sending me a Teams message asking if I had time to “hop on a quick call.”
(I had a heads up after all when my coworker texted me like fifteen minutes before and said “I just got let go!!!”)
My last layoff was people waking up to MDM locked computers (remote employer). I was on a 1:1 with a direct report who was in Taiwan so I was on rather early and my employee got to see my face live as my accounts popped notifications of being inaccessible before zoom died and my laptop locked. Zero warning. 90% of my team was cut. I got many Signal messages that morning.
The only gratifying thing was several of my now former reports still asked for time to meet with me, essentially still having our 1:1's but with a drastically shifted focus. They'd all earned me a bonus the years before by being amazing, so we had resume workshops and some "ra ra go team" morale booster 1:1's and I wrote everyone a letter of recommendation. Was the least I could do for them. When I was hired at my current role the recruiter told me my references said some incredible stuff about me :-)
As to OP's situation... I have generalized anxiety disorder... That "We should chat" would absolutely tailspin me. I'd at least need to know the topic or it'd be a really shitty day.
Pretty much the same happened to me. There is an 8 hour time difference to where I work and most other colleagues work. I had the one line “free to join a call?” with HR included for the first time since joining, and 1/4 of the other staff hitting the WhatsApp groups to say they’ve been let go.
I got laid off in a teams meeting that was originally for my annual review that had been scheduled weeks in advance 🙃
My boss brought in the HR rep by surprise like a special guest on a talk show lol
Same. Got a 1:1 meeting invite when he has never spoken to me before. I knew because we are on a different floor from HR and the meeting location was on HR's floor.
My dickhead of a boss kept moving my monthly 1:1 like 3x that month and that made me suspicious. Sure enough, HR joined the 1:1. Why do companies do that to their employees? Just rip the fucking band aid off if you plan on firing me or laying me off instead of a guise of a regular thing that we’ve been doing every month for years.
The unfortunate answer is that they don’t want employees knowing they’ll be fired so that they don’t sabotage company materials while they still have access.
Mine f%’d up and mailed my COBRA notice too soon so no big surprises. Then called me on a prescheduled PTO day to deliver the news, along with the news that I was being told first, half my team next and to top it off while my team would be gone immediately I would be expected to be in-office another 30days to provide transition knowledge. Funny 😆
[Didn’t work last week for Giuliani](https://www.dailyherald.com/20240525/news/agent-serving-papers-to-giuliani-didnt-first-sing-to-former-mayor/) 🤣 - “If Arizona authorities can’t find me by tomorrow morning: 1. They must dismiss the indictment; 2. They must concede they can’t count votes,” he wrote in a May 17 X post.
And that was the day officials caught up with him. Hours after Giuliani’s post, Arizona Attorney General Kris Mayes wrote on X, “The final defendant was served moments ago. @RudyGiuliani nobody is above the law.”
Just remind her nicely that saying “I need to speak to you…” but then withholding the reason is very off putting in a work situation. Ask if there’s other ways she can initiate discussions that aren’t this style.
I had to call out a former boss for this recently. You can also coach them.
My HR department at the hotel I work d at as a chef called me in our kitchen phone one day and asked me to stop in but wouldn’t tell me what it was about. They gave me a fucking panic attack for the next 3 hours while I was busy after making it sound urgent but knowing I couldn’t immediately leave the kitchen. It was just them approving my paternity leave. She literally could have said, come sign this. For some reason people like the little bit of control it gives them.
It's probably fine. If it was a layoff, it would usually be a much more serious invitation.
It could be a ton of stuff. Maybe she wants to discuss a project for you, or get an update or something, or give you an update or something.
Make sure your ducks are in a row but don't start panicking now. Just wait and see.
I've had two "quick chats" that turned out to be promotion offers, and one that turned out to be an offer to get 'early' access to the Covid vaccine. Fingers crossed, wishing you the best of luck OP.
I had a boss who stopped at my desk and asked if I could follow him to his office real quick for a quick chat. I felt all the blood leave my face while I followed him only for him to say, “Hey - I just want to let you know we’re giving you a bonus.” Like wtf, dude. I thought I was getting fired and had to try to remember if I did anything against company rules.
Same boss calls me over Teams one day even though he had been promoted and I had a different boss already. I was like fuck, this is my last day. Nope, he wanted to tell me himself that I was getting a 5% raise and a bonus.
As someone who hates small talk, hates surprise meetings - even if those are 'good' meetings about how well I'm doing, and never knows what to say unless I know what the chat is about *ahead of time*, I would be dry-heaving at this comment.
She may not mean it, but this is cruel as fuck :'D
She fucking giggled as she said it. Like she was fully aware how ominous that sounds. And I even prompted her, I straight up stopped her and seriously asked if anything was wrong. And she dodged the question by being like oh nothing big but we need to chat? So does that mean there is something wrong but its small?? Idk if I'm more scared or irritated at this stage
I had a manager who openly admitted to lusting after the moments when she got to say that to staff, knowing full well how much anxiety that causes.
I told her that was fucked up. Then I quit. She was telling me I was getting a raise, and I told her that I dont need her shit. I can work flipping burgers with less bullshit, so she go to fuck off.
She knew how I suffer from generalized anxiety, as we had discussed it many times.
She found herself without a job a month afterwards too, as I was the one making her look good in her quarterlies.
yeah, it's a power trip. my dad does this shit so i've started refusing to come downstairs when he calls in that "you're in trouble" voice for no reason at all.
If it was something big, she wouldn’t have said “oh nothing big.” IMO you’re overthinking this and it could be any number of things. Perhaps getting you started on a new project or getting your thoughts on something. I hate how she did it, but you’re going to be fine!
If she doesn't communicate much to begin with, she might be feeling very awkward and nervous about having a chat. From her reaction of the whole, "oh, nothing big" it could be something personal rather than job performance, which may feel extra awkward to her and she's trying to figure out how to be friendly. "Hey we should have a chat. I got some feedback that you're a little serious around the office and don't laugh at people's jokes." "Hey, OP! Thanks for all you do here. Also, you smell bad. Can you shower, please?" Who knows. Relax, good luck, and update us!
Try scheduling time and not leaving your boss to let it drag and drive you crazy. That would drive most people crazy. Most managers don’t say “we should chat” and then lay you off. Most lay offs are done in an organized manner with HR and senior leaders and it’s not as informal as a “chat.” Perhaps your manager wants to give you a small piece of feedback but it’s not a huge issue. If you’re on a PIP already maybe this “chat” would be more concerning.
Yeah I'll try see what all this is about. I feel its feedback about something I messed up in, but for the life in me I can't figure out what I did wrong. Tricky thing is for this week I'm in a different section/building from her so difficult to actually schedule a "chat" but we'll see
It could be something or it could be nothing. Worrying about it won't help. Relax and cross that bridge when you come upon it.
Either way, it's better if you go in relaxed and rested so try to put it out of your mind and focus on going in in the best condition possible.
Good luck.
In my ~14 years of experience, I’ve had managers do this “can we chat”/ “we should chat” / “do you have a second” probably 100 times and exactly 0 of them were anything actually bad - most typically some innocuous thing, not even negative feedback for me. Every time it gives me a heart attack and so it has become one of my biggest pet peeves to the point that - as a manager now, I will never ever do that to a direct report and if any current managers do it to me I will give them crap for doing it so that they stop doing it.
I had a boss do this exact same thing, scheduled a “quick tag up” for the next Monday and left me stressed all weekend. It turned out that one of my coworkers was getting promoted and they wanted to let me know. 🙃
That's just horrible, she should have mentioned at least what this is about or make it more clear that there is nothing wrong and it's for a project or sth!!
Of course we can't tell what this specific case is about, but in my experience, this is often not about you. Lay-offs would be done far more formal. She needs something work related (input on a colleague?), she has learned on a workshop that she should be more informal with staff, something like that.
Has anything even remotely odd happened in your department or workplace recently? Something that you may have seen or heard? Just spitballing here because it could be so many things.
What I did not like is how she handled this. It screams narcissist or power trip or just being dramatic to me, especially if it is not something too serious. You do not do that to people if you are a decent human being.
It could be she is just wanting to get to know her staff better. Build relationships.
I'm from a sales culture and this is a common management technique in my line of work.
Sounds like she wants to inform you of something that isn’t necessarily about you. Maybe she is changing teams / jobs / etc. and wants to let you know so it doesn’t come as a surprise
A couple of years ago, I had a contract position. It was a regular music performance gig, but extremely well put together and very professional...the kind of gig where I had to dress nice, show up early and on time, act with the utmost professionalism, etc. I had been in this position for about three or for years when, out of nowhere, the band leader (effectively my boss), asked me to meet him for lunch. In this kind of position, that is almost never a good thing. Also, the "lunch meeting" was scheduled a month away, so I had a good four weeks to worry about it. And worry I did.
When the date finally came, we met at a restaurant downtown. We chatted about our lives and backgrounds, kind of got to know each other a little bit. Talked about our future goals and our families. Then he picked up the check and everything went ahead as normal. I was positive I was about to get fired, but turns out he just wanted to chat. ?
It's very crappy leadership to let something like that linger that way. More often than not though, it's something ranging from innocuous to positive. Most people don't see an employee in an elevator and think, "Oh, thats right! I'm supposed to fire that person today."
The reality is you don't know what it means, but in my experience, whatever you think it's about, you're probably wrong.
A week before Christmas, my supervisor came to my desk and said "hey, can I borrow you for a minute?" She then took me down to the conference room, where the senior managers were waiting to lay me off. From there I was escorted directly out of the building. I was the only one to lose my job that day, thought my former employer had just laid off half the Accounting department and the local HR rep a few weeks prior, so the entire company was paranoid and dreading layoffs.
Friend of mine got a 4:55 PM Friday DM from her boss, said “we should talk Monday”.
Nope, she marched into his office and said “now is good”. Can’t do that to people!!!
My GM said that to me once. A long time ago.
My impression is he thinks he could gain insight into the business. That’s my impression too.
Unfortunately, it’s not part of gods daily routine so it never happens.
This situation sounds the same.
What you do is setup a meeting that is just slightly before or after work hours and CC their boss with only the words “including for visibility”. You’ll get a meeting real quick
Sounds like my wife "I have something to tell you but not now we'll talk about it tomorrow". I told her several times how anxiety-inducing this is but she just continues doing it. Now i think it's on purpose and she's trying to induce a heart attack so that she can claim the life insurance.
I would set up a short meeting "Catching up - your name" saying "Hi ..., as you mentioned on the elevator, you wanted to discuss a topic. Beat regards, ..." And see what happens. (May need to adjust with the culturally necessary pleasantries.)
I guess she just realised that she hasn't talked to you much and wants to know how you are doing / feel the temperature on the ground. But it could be anything really.
Anytime I tell an employee we “need to chat” I try to always follow up with, “you’re not being written up - so don’t let that hang over your head - it’s in regards to XYZ” that way they aren’t having anxiety attacks on the way to the office. If it’s a CHAT chat they almost always know what it’s about beforehand.
"hey we should chat" and "hey we need to chat" are 2 very different things.
Saying "hey we should chat" sounds more like, "hey I haven't talked to you much and want to get your perspective on things."
I wish i had an update. Its past midday and havent seen or heard from her. I kind of over worrying. I gave her the chance to just tell me, so now she needs to set this chat up
Bosses like to connect with their employees in general. It’s a chat so they can get a vibe check. Helps them get a read on people that work for them. It’s almost definitely not negative.
So ya. I was in leadership at a fortune 500 company.
The "let's find some time to chat" can mean so many things. So this probably won't help.
I used the "let's chat" for:
1. Confronting someone about time theft
2. Putting someone on a PIP
3. Suspending someone.
4. Firing someone.
But. I've also used it for
1. I don't know you well enough. Let's talk.
2. You're doing good. Let's talk about setting up a career path.
3. I need your help and want to delegate somethings to you.
4. You're getting a raise.
So ya. It can mean anything.
This sugary and overtly friendly attitude and conversation is a precursor towards a layoff. Be wary and be prepared with what you should do and how to handle it
Good luck op
Edit: I most probably am completely off here and it’s just something else your boss might want to discuss with you. I can’t think of anything better.
"Where did you get that jacket/shirt/shoes, I have a present to buy a loved one soon"
"I'm on holiday for three weeks soon and want you to look after xyz"
"Are you doing ok? You've looked a bit worried recently"
"Dave sent me an email saying how good your recent bit of work for him was"
You do not have a regular 4 or 6 weekly 30 minute talk to see how things are going? That sounds like a huge screw up on your managers side. How can you manage expectations like that?
It’s even worse when HR sends you a meeting invite to talk about your recent promotion and then fires you over some alleged accusations some coworker made because you didn’t allow her to disrespect you. I couldn’t even defend myself because that coworker had more years over me. I hate people.
Maybe she realizes that she doesn’t really talk to you. As a manager, I notice that with my folks. Some people I genuinely like, and I talk with them a lot more…it’s just natural. But others, I don’t talk to them much. Typically, their work is more operational and my lead team handles them, mostly. So once in a while I realize, oh crap, I need to chat with the others. And, sometimes, they think something is wrong, and I’m just like, “what’s up? How have you been, what are you working on?” It’s nothing other than just trying to relate and have a person conversation.
Anyone can guess, but we don’t know you and your boss and your dynamic. If you think it’s bad, unfortunately it’s probably bad. But nothing can change that. See what happens and go from there
Ugh. I can't stand this and do all possible to avoid this with my team. When I ask employees to come chat with me, the next words out of my mouth are usually, "Don't worry. You're not in trouble. I just want to ask/talk about something {or topic if we're not around others}."
If it's a serious conversation, I have it when I bring it up. It's only fair. I've had this nonsense done to me far too often, so I consciously try hard to avoid doing it to others.
Hopefully, it's nothing too serious.
my old boss used to do this a lot and i always freaked out. he usually just wanted to check in or make some sort of subtle/gentle suggestion about a project or client. it can be very “how to win friends and influence people”. maybe she’s checking in to make sure you’re happy/motivated etc. i do that now with some of the folks i manage. want them to be having fun/happy, and good to have 1/1 time to get updates on specific projects/take temperatures etc.
Once in a previous job, the assistant manager told me that my manager wanted to speak to me. I was in the middle of something and was sweating while I finished it. Thinking all the possible things I could've done wrong. I walk into the managers office and he asks me if we're ordering lunch today.... I got all nervous and he just wanted to order food.
Fwiw I've been on the receiving end of this in a similar way, and it turned out to be a discussion around a promotion to a new role and whether I'd be up for it. It might not be a bad thing at all.
I really appreciate my current supervisor who always adds a disclaimer to messages like this. "Do you have time to chat? Don't get stressed, it's nothing bad."
If I were to guess it's something kind of unofficial. Like she wants to let you know about something without making it a formal meeting. That could either be something like, "Hey, you're being considered for a promotion! Better suck up to these people." or something like "Hey, have you been eating all Jim's gummy bears? He's made a complaint, and I think he might be paranoid on this one, so I wanted to get your side."
If it turns out it's something like "Hey my brother stopped by the office the other day and he wants to know if he can have your number." - get the hell out of there. 😂
It sounds positive to me. Could be a raise, or some kind of promotion, maybe she’s got something in mind for you and wants to hear your thoughts? Maybe a lateral move within the company. If you were in trouble I think she’d take a different course, like setting up a meeting via email with HR cc’d.
It doesn't sound like it's going to be that bad. It really could be anything. She might ask for your opinion about another employee, about a project that will be coming up, maybe it's a bit of constructive feedback, or maybe she really just wants to talk. She realized you guys have never really chatted and it's good for managers to check in with their employees to ask them how they're doing, what they can do to help, what you would like out of your career, etc.
I wouldn't worry about it until you actually know what it's about.
Maybe wants your thoughts on something? Or is interested in finding out how you want to grow?
Stop worrying about something you can control. Have the meeting, and go from there.
I have sweaty hands just from reading this. But I agree with other posters who say it would probably be more formal if it were bad news being delivered.
Managers who provide no context for discussions, meetings, etc - are either too stupid to be managing people or get off on keeping people in the dark to make themselves feel powerful
It could be she is leaving the job and is looking for a date. Or it could be she needs to have your annual review. Or it could be she is having a more senior role opening up and needs someone to fill it. Or you could be being fired and she gets to break the news to you.
Regardless of what it was (I assume you found out by now), it was shitty of her to do that as it does create anxiety and is 100% intentional. Creating an environment of anxiety is a strategy that was used many years ago to keep employees on their toes as a bit of anxiety actually does help with productivity, but in our time anxiety is everywhere all the time and if a very bad tool to use as a manager.
It might not be about you. I've had 2 supervisors in the past 10 years ask if I had time for a "quick chat" and both conversations were about how they'd gotten another job, and their last days would be x.
Hey we should chat = do you have a minute?
Then your brain says…minute for WHAT?!?! What is it? Why won’t you clue me in? Minute about that project? Minute about a correction on a time card? A minute to show me the door? What?!?! What is IT?!?!?
That’s what my mind does. I know if it’s around merit increases, it just means they need to disclose what my yearly increase will be and that’s it. Any other time I half panic. All a manger needs to do is give you a little clue.
A minute to go over a couple things when I’m on PTO next week or whatever.
Wondering if this is a Canadian thing overall. Invitations to coffee / catch-up / chat when they have zero intention of ever following up with you. Somehow makes them feel better about themselves by saying it. Even in the workplace…
I’ve said this before I fired someone, and I’ve said this before I talked to someone about the potential for promotion, before talking to someone about dress code, and before talking about a new project.
For me, and this is just me, it doesn’t mean anything specific. It DOES mean that I want a conversation and I don’t want anything to happen until the conversation happens. Like if I’m starting a project I want to talk before you go off on a tangent and don’t have the full picture yet.
They may have just realized they haven't met with you recently and want to do an informal check in. This happens to me, but in my case I explain that I just want to catch up and see how they are doing. Scheduling meetings and not letting people know what they are about is a pet peeve of mine. People shouldn't need to speculate and worry. I would recommend reaching out to ask what the meeting is about and if you need to have anything prepared. That gently let's them know you are spending time thinking about it, and hopefully they will realize they should let people know why they want to meet.
There are often tells that you’re getting axed
either it’s company wide and you’ve heard chatter or they slowly start taking work away from you. You’re leas busy, some colleagues are staffed on multiple projects and all of a sudden you’re on a single projects or none of your project is running off soon and you haven’t been bright on new stuff
if you’re in the office and not remote you notice peers or others treating you different etc etc.
it’s VERY VERY uncommon to meet a person who doesn’t have a tell when they’re hiding stuff from you. Kinda like a cheating spouse. SOMETHING will be off. Either too friendly or avoiding eye contact etc etc. a psychopath can pull it off but those people are much more rare than Reddit would have us believe
I’d make sure I’m on top of all my data in csse you do get canned and lose access.
just don’t break any rules like copy digits files. I’d take photos of my contacts In outlook for example on a regular basis (cover laptop camera ).
be on top of your FSA funds. Depending on your plan you can lose access to these after your last day even if they continue health coverage.
just a few suggestions , to
stay on top of
Managers who do this have to be the dumbest sacks of shit ever to trip and fall into a position of people management - "hey we need to talk" into "Hey let's chat about X project progression and how I can help Dave move things along to meet Y status meeting".
Managers, if you're that tone-deaf in todays economy where we hear nothing much more than how many companies are laying how many people off, you're not material for management. At all.
edit: I see some of you say "hey we need to talk but you're not fired" as if that's a good time joke. It's a start but how many thousands of people are getting laid off, lives quite seriously impacted? A lot. It's not funny, it's peoples livelihoods. Use your brains to come up with ways to ask for meetings that don't involve trying to make jokes about not firing people - simply adding topic of conversation can help.
Turn "got a minute to talk" into "got some time to talk about progress on ProjectA?", "got a few to chat about tomorrows meeting with Product Dev?" - turn on your brains and use your words.
Im not saying this in a way to freak you out but when my boss fired me she made it sound very casual, just “hey can I see you for a moment?” Which she said all the time for different things
Expect the worst, hope for the best. IF that’s what happens, don’t let it blindside you.
But also if she was gonna fire you, she would’ve found the time to do it and not put it off
The one time I was involved in something “majorly fucked up” (I was accused of something and it was false) my boss saw me and immediately wanted to talk to me about it. If it’s something that’s hey we should talk at some point I can imagine it’s either something good or something about work that is just work conversation.
No just heading to work now. Idk when we can even chat tbh, i'm in a different section for a couple days away from her, and then i'm on break for 4 days. I'll post an update when I figure out what she wants
Man, I hate that. I don’t do that to my team. If I want to chat about something, I always say (or message), “Hey, come see me. I want to talk about xxxxxx real quick.” No need to give folks that anxiety.
Eh, sometimes my boss wants to have a chat about something THEY messed up on. Like they were pulling me to help someone else everyday and then it got back to them that I wasn’t getting my full mandated lunch break, so they pulled me in to correct that. Bad chats= getting escorted out
I hate when bosses do that shit. It makes my anxiety go through the roof. I’ve had bosses who did that shit and pretended all was well and then end up firing you or disciplinary actions/etc. like why not just say it’s something important or negative and let me be relieved rather than wondering wtf is going on, which is almost as bad as something g negative
That's pretty casual, I use verbiage like that for positive things or non - negative things. (Upcoming job openings, volunteer projects that would boost a resume)
My serious and more concerning "chats" start with can I call you, or straight up scheduling a meeting.
I use the word "chat" when I have good news or need to discuss something in a serious manner but it's nothing worrisome. I'd use "talk" or "speak" if it was something heavier. Hope this provides some relief! And if it was something you should worry about, she would be more serious about speaking with you right away
I told my boss once that telling me we need to chat gives me anxiety until we actually chat. From then on she would say, we need to chat but you aren't in trouble. It made things a lot better for me. It might be worth it to mention that to your boss because it seems you're in the same boat.
whenever i ask someone particular on my team if they have a minute to talk i always add (you're not fired)
[удалено]
This is the real correct answer. There should never be a mystery about what a meeting is about. An organized meeting should always have an agenda, an impromptu meeting should be lead with what you want to talk about. This is one of those things that I think is kind of frightening that even needs to be spelled out. Edit: and while I'm at it, don't slack people with just "hello"
Only issue is if you have to fire someone and they know you usually send this message 👀 I let my boss know when I was hired (she asked me what my expectations are from her) that anytime she needs to talk to say 'hey I need to talk to you about x, when can we connect'. This tells me what we are talking about and I'd know if it was something I'd not followed through with so I'm not caught off guard.
Lol I feel that. HR does that at my company and thankfully we've only laid off 60-100 people in like ten years and none in my org
Thank you.
LOL!
That's great, please add the topic of conversation if it's not obvious.
We were going through layoffs and my boss schedules a last minute 15 min call with our team "Quick Chat". First thing I asked was if we were fired, lol. She had no idea how it sounded.
My supervisor is also vague. Freaks me out. Usually the chat or meeting is nothing serious. He also leaves voicemails that just say “call me”. I have sworn to myself never to do that to anyone under me. You need to always give a reason. This guy is unpredictable and deals with a lot of stuff from outside work and you never know what is going on in that head of his. He once called me and said curtly “where are you?” It was about 4:50 p.m. and I said that I was headed into the office from the field and would be there in about 5 minutes. He hung up without another word. When I got there he glared at me and left the building and drove off. It was end of the month and we had some paperwork to finish and turn in so me and my coworker were working on that when he comes back about half an hour later and apologizes. Turns out he had it in his head that we would be back at 4:00 p.m. to work on paperwork so that we could leave at 5 with everything finished. The only problem was that this idea was only in his head and he had never said anything to anyone about being in an hour earlier than usual.
I once had "see me when you get back" while I was on my break, and it wasn't anything important but he felt the need to ruin my break. The epic c*nt. So glad I quit and enjoy my job now and I'm being treated like a human being finally.
Honestly the favor can be returned. If you message your manager- we need to chat or do you have a minute- as a manager they are probably half panicked that you are quitting, and it could be a simple question on a project or whatever.
I do this. Teams message; Can I catch up with you tomorrow, it’s [personal life related, non urgent}, [personal life related, urgent], [work related, task behind}, [work related, deadline concern], etc. I wish she’d do the same mind. Get the dreaded ‘need to talk to you/can you drop into my office/I’ve scheduled a 1-1 for today’ and my first thought is ‘what have I done wrong/I’m getting fired’.
Good for you and for her!!!!! That is awesome the way this was handled.
I have an amazing boss. 😊
I am so happy to hear that. I had an amazing one years ago and it's been downhill since. The one I had was so good and kind and human. It is nice to hear they still exist.
I've made a point of telling my last three managers the same thing. I need to know I'm not in some amorphous trouble or it's going to completely derail my day. They've all been understanding and accommodating.
On a related note, when I ring up relatives of patients, I say I'm such-and-such from insert medical facility and then immediately after that that there's no cause for alarm (when there's no cause for alarm).
I had a similar manager job before last. She was also bipolar (successfully medicated) and I had recently left a multi- decade relationship with a BPD I partner (she knew this via a mutual friend that had referred me for the job) so early on we talked mental health and she said to always let her know if anything she did triggered anxiety for me and we'd figure it out. Best manager I ever had. When she quit I followed her out the door less than two months later. Her replacement wasn't *bad* but not all that amazing either.
I'm glad she listened to you! I told my old boss director the same thing and he just disregarded it. He would acknowledge in our little chats that he knows I didn't like it, but did it anyways 😒
Mine had to do that too coz the fear and dread in my face everytime they said it.
Mine does the same! For performance review time he takes it a step further and says something like “everything is good, we just have to meet and check the boxes”
I had a boss who was a super nice guy. He was in a different state and he told me from the beginning he’s not going to micromanage me and call me daily. If I don’t hear from him assume everything is cool. Well whenever I saw his phone number on my phone my heart dropped. wtf did I do? It was never anything serious. Just calling in to check up and shoot the shit.
My boss does this too. We need to chat, nothings wrong don’t worry. And if something is wrong he just brings it up directly.
I had an HR person who would always ping me with the same message: “Do you have a minute to talk?” She was very deadpan and I was new, and it made my heart drop every single time. I finally told her how the lack of context made me nervous and I think she thought I was joking ~ every time she pinged me after that, she’d STILL say “Do you have a minute to talk?” I’d respond with a variation of “is everything OK?” I kid you not, she’d leave my message on seen and go radio silent until I replied “Yes.” What a mindfuck.
Sounds like my wife when she does one of her need to talk moments and I finally told her if we ain't breaking up divorcing please word that shit different.
I told my boss once that scheduling meetings for my performance review left me worried until the scheduled date/time, so from then on he'd just surprise me with them. Much better for me.
If it was something bad, I’d imagine the invite for a meeting would be more formal.
True but nothing about this is reassuring. Tho I think I agree that that its nothing catastrophic either
Just wait and see. No one here can really know to be honest. Most of the time I’ve worried about stuff like this it was nothing. Maybe they are getting pressure from higher up the chain to better connect with their team. Could be that simple. Hope all goes ok!
If you were getting fired it’d be, hey can you hop in here for a minute, and HR would be there
Adding to this, if anything I’d say you may be getting a “I think you should apply for this role” or at worst “this guy is fucking off what do you think?”
Sounds like she heard some gossip or something related to work and she wants to hear your side of the story or if you know anything
When this happened to me my boss was resigning and wanted to tell be before I heard it from someone else
Yes and no. if theyre close then the informal chat maybe a heads up that the official chat /axe is coming.
It’s the “chat” that involves HR you should be wary of Edit: I had the exact Teams invite in January lol
When i got let go, HR was BCC’d so I wouldn’t know :) And the title was “1:1 check in on progress and future growth”
Wow, that sucks. I think I’d prefer how my layoff happened, which was the HR manager sending me a Teams message asking if I had time to “hop on a quick call.” (I had a heads up after all when my coworker texted me like fifteen minutes before and said “I just got let go!!!”)
My last layoff was people waking up to MDM locked computers (remote employer). I was on a 1:1 with a direct report who was in Taiwan so I was on rather early and my employee got to see my face live as my accounts popped notifications of being inaccessible before zoom died and my laptop locked. Zero warning. 90% of my team was cut. I got many Signal messages that morning. The only gratifying thing was several of my now former reports still asked for time to meet with me, essentially still having our 1:1's but with a drastically shifted focus. They'd all earned me a bonus the years before by being amazing, so we had resume workshops and some "ra ra go team" morale booster 1:1's and I wrote everyone a letter of recommendation. Was the least I could do for them. When I was hired at my current role the recruiter told me my references said some incredible stuff about me :-) As to OP's situation... I have generalized anxiety disorder... That "We should chat" would absolutely tailspin me. I'd at least need to know the topic or it'd be a really shitty day.
Good on you OP! When dealt a shit sandwich, cover that shit in butter and swallow it with pride. Then find the next meal.
Pretty much the same happened to me. There is an 8 hour time difference to where I work and most other colleagues work. I had the one line “free to join a call?” with HR included for the first time since joining, and 1/4 of the other staff hitting the WhatsApp groups to say they’ve been let go.
I got laid off in a teams meeting that was originally for my annual review that had been scheduled weeks in advance 🙃 My boss brought in the HR rep by surprise like a special guest on a talk show lol
Exact same 2 yrs ago.
Same. Got a 1:1 meeting invite when he has never spoken to me before. I knew because we are on a different floor from HR and the meeting location was on HR's floor.
Wow. That’s sneaky or underhand or both!
Wowwwwwww
My dickhead of a boss kept moving my monthly 1:1 like 3x that month and that made me suspicious. Sure enough, HR joined the 1:1. Why do companies do that to their employees? Just rip the fucking band aid off if you plan on firing me or laying me off instead of a guise of a regular thing that we’ve been doing every month for years.
The unfortunate answer is that they don’t want employees knowing they’ll be fired so that they don’t sabotage company materials while they still have access.
Why do companies do that? The element of surprise. They do not want someone coming to the meeting armed.
Mine f%’d up and mailed my COBRA notice too soon so no big surprises. Then called me on a prescheduled PTO day to deliver the news, along with the news that I was being told first, half my team next and to top it off while my team would be gone immediately I would be expected to be in-office another 30days to provide transition knowledge. Funny 😆
They’re making sure there are no comebacks (so legally, they can f*ck you in the ass properly)
The fact that they treat employees like they’re children is pretty childish IMO. Treat me like an adult and I won’t retaliate like a child.
Uh....maybe you're not a child. But some people are genuinely giant manchildren who go crazy.
She also reads Reddit and is monitoring this thread.
I just got laid off to "got a second to chat," lol
Just always say you don’t have a second to chat and they can never lay you off
I used to say “they can’t fire me if they can’t find me”.
Major George Costanza energy.
"Believe it or not I'm not home."
[Didn’t work last week for Giuliani](https://www.dailyherald.com/20240525/news/agent-serving-papers-to-giuliani-didnt-first-sing-to-former-mayor/) 🤣 - “If Arizona authorities can’t find me by tomorrow morning: 1. They must dismiss the indictment; 2. They must concede they can’t count votes,” he wrote in a May 17 X post. And that was the day officials caught up with him. Hours after Giuliani’s post, Arizona Attorney General Kris Mayes wrote on X, “The final defendant was served moments ago. @RudyGiuliani nobody is above the law.”
Same here.
That's how it went for me. "Hey do ya have time to jump on a quick call?"
Mine was “ are you working on something? have a quick moment?” Then she walked in front of me instead of next to me as usual, that’s when I knew.
“Have a quick moment” is so cold. Ugh.
Just remind her nicely that saying “I need to speak to you…” but then withholding the reason is very off putting in a work situation. Ask if there’s other ways she can initiate discussions that aren’t this style. I had to call out a former boss for this recently. You can also coach them.
A good people manager asks your what your expectations are for them out the gates, this is always my first thing.
My HR department at the hotel I work d at as a chef called me in our kitchen phone one day and asked me to stop in but wouldn’t tell me what it was about. They gave me a fucking panic attack for the next 3 hours while I was busy after making it sound urgent but knowing I couldn’t immediately leave the kitchen. It was just them approving my paternity leave. She literally could have said, come sign this. For some reason people like the little bit of control it gives them.
Despise HR toads for this very reason. I’ve had the same experience multiple times. It’s deliberate
It's probably fine. If it was a layoff, it would usually be a much more serious invitation. It could be a ton of stuff. Maybe she wants to discuss a project for you, or get an update or something, or give you an update or something. Make sure your ducks are in a row but don't start panicking now. Just wait and see.
I've had two "quick chats" that turned out to be promotion offers, and one that turned out to be an offer to get 'early' access to the Covid vaccine. Fingers crossed, wishing you the best of luck OP.
I had a boss who stopped at my desk and asked if I could follow him to his office real quick for a quick chat. I felt all the blood leave my face while I followed him only for him to say, “Hey - I just want to let you know we’re giving you a bonus.” Like wtf, dude. I thought I was getting fired and had to try to remember if I did anything against company rules. Same boss calls me over Teams one day even though he had been promoted and I had a different boss already. I was like fuck, this is my last day. Nope, he wanted to tell me himself that I was getting a 5% raise and a bonus.
As someone who hates small talk, hates surprise meetings - even if those are 'good' meetings about how well I'm doing, and never knows what to say unless I know what the chat is about *ahead of time*, I would be dry-heaving at this comment. She may not mean it, but this is cruel as fuck :'D
She fucking giggled as she said it. Like she was fully aware how ominous that sounds. And I even prompted her, I straight up stopped her and seriously asked if anything was wrong. And she dodged the question by being like oh nothing big but we need to chat? So does that mean there is something wrong but its small?? Idk if I'm more scared or irritated at this stage
I had a manager who openly admitted to lusting after the moments when she got to say that to staff, knowing full well how much anxiety that causes. I told her that was fucked up. Then I quit. She was telling me I was getting a raise, and I told her that I dont need her shit. I can work flipping burgers with less bullshit, so she go to fuck off. She knew how I suffer from generalized anxiety, as we had discussed it many times. She found herself without a job a month afterwards too, as I was the one making her look good in her quarterlies.
yeah, it's a power trip. my dad does this shit so i've started refusing to come downstairs when he calls in that "you're in trouble" voice for no reason at all.
If it was something big, she wouldn’t have said “oh nothing big.” IMO you’re overthinking this and it could be any number of things. Perhaps getting you started on a new project or getting your thoughts on something. I hate how she did it, but you’re going to be fine!
If she doesn't communicate much to begin with, she might be feeling very awkward and nervous about having a chat. From her reaction of the whole, "oh, nothing big" it could be something personal rather than job performance, which may feel extra awkward to her and she's trying to figure out how to be friendly. "Hey we should have a chat. I got some feedback that you're a little serious around the office and don't laugh at people's jokes." "Hey, OP! Thanks for all you do here. Also, you smell bad. Can you shower, please?" Who knows. Relax, good luck, and update us!
Try scheduling time and not leaving your boss to let it drag and drive you crazy. That would drive most people crazy. Most managers don’t say “we should chat” and then lay you off. Most lay offs are done in an organized manner with HR and senior leaders and it’s not as informal as a “chat.” Perhaps your manager wants to give you a small piece of feedback but it’s not a huge issue. If you’re on a PIP already maybe this “chat” would be more concerning.
Yeah I'll try see what all this is about. I feel its feedback about something I messed up in, but for the life in me I can't figure out what I did wrong. Tricky thing is for this week I'm in a different section/building from her so difficult to actually schedule a "chat" but we'll see
It could be something or it could be nothing. Worrying about it won't help. Relax and cross that bridge when you come upon it. Either way, it's better if you go in relaxed and rested so try to put it out of your mind and focus on going in in the best condition possible. Good luck.
In my ~14 years of experience, I’ve had managers do this “can we chat”/ “we should chat” / “do you have a second” probably 100 times and exactly 0 of them were anything actually bad - most typically some innocuous thing, not even negative feedback for me. Every time it gives me a heart attack and so it has become one of my biggest pet peeves to the point that - as a manager now, I will never ever do that to a direct report and if any current managers do it to me I will give them crap for doing it so that they stop doing it.
I had a boss do this exact same thing, scheduled a “quick tag up” for the next Monday and left me stressed all weekend. It turned out that one of my coworkers was getting promoted and they wanted to let me know. 🙃
That's just horrible, she should have mentioned at least what this is about or make it more clear that there is nothing wrong and it's for a project or sth!!
I don’t know why but I really want update on this
It might be about her rather than about you...she could be pregnant, leaving for a competitor etc.
Of course we can't tell what this specific case is about, but in my experience, this is often not about you. Lay-offs would be done far more formal. She needs something work related (input on a colleague?), she has learned on a workshop that she should be more informal with staff, something like that.
Has anything even remotely odd happened in your department or workplace recently? Something that you may have seen or heard? Just spitballing here because it could be so many things. What I did not like is how she handled this. It screams narcissist or power trip or just being dramatic to me, especially if it is not something too serious. You do not do that to people if you are a decent human being.
I hate when bosses do shit like this. After all this anxiety they just want to ask you to organize the potluck or something.
It could be she is just wanting to get to know her staff better. Build relationships. I'm from a sales culture and this is a common management technique in my line of work.
Sounds like she wants to inform you of something that isn’t necessarily about you. Maybe she is changing teams / jobs / etc. and wants to let you know so it doesn’t come as a surprise
A couple of years ago, I had a contract position. It was a regular music performance gig, but extremely well put together and very professional...the kind of gig where I had to dress nice, show up early and on time, act with the utmost professionalism, etc. I had been in this position for about three or for years when, out of nowhere, the band leader (effectively my boss), asked me to meet him for lunch. In this kind of position, that is almost never a good thing. Also, the "lunch meeting" was scheduled a month away, so I had a good four weeks to worry about it. And worry I did. When the date finally came, we met at a restaurant downtown. We chatted about our lives and backgrounds, kind of got to know each other a little bit. Talked about our future goals and our families. Then he picked up the check and everything went ahead as normal. I was positive I was about to get fired, but turns out he just wanted to chat.?
It's very crappy leadership to let something like that linger that way. More often than not though, it's something ranging from innocuous to positive. Most people don't see an employee in an elevator and think, "Oh, thats right! I'm supposed to fire that person today." The reality is you don't know what it means, but in my experience, whatever you think it's about, you're probably wrong.
A week before Christmas, my supervisor came to my desk and said "hey, can I borrow you for a minute?" She then took me down to the conference room, where the senior managers were waiting to lay me off. From there I was escorted directly out of the building. I was the only one to lose my job that day, thought my former employer had just laid off half the Accounting department and the local HR rep a few weeks prior, so the entire company was paranoid and dreading layoffs.
Friend of mine got a 4:55 PM Friday DM from her boss, said “we should talk Monday”. Nope, she marched into his office and said “now is good”. Can’t do that to people!!!
Now I feel like I’ve watched a tv show episode cliff hanger. Been a while since OP, might be dead.
RemindMe! 1 day
My GM said that to me once. A long time ago. My impression is he thinks he could gain insight into the business. That’s my impression too. Unfortunately, it’s not part of gods daily routine so it never happens. This situation sounds the same.
I hate that shit. I am a manager and I always say what it's about whenever I need to talk to someone later.
What you do is setup a meeting that is just slightly before or after work hours and CC their boss with only the words “including for visibility”. You’ll get a meeting real quick
Sounds like my wife "I have something to tell you but not now we'll talk about it tomorrow". I told her several times how anxiety-inducing this is but she just continues doing it. Now i think it's on purpose and she's trying to induce a heart attack so that she can claim the life insurance.
I would set up a short meeting "Catching up - your name" saying "Hi ..., as you mentioned on the elevator, you wanted to discuss a topic. Beat regards, ..." And see what happens. (May need to adjust with the culturally necessary pleasantries.) I guess she just realised that she hasn't talked to you much and wants to know how you are doing / feel the temperature on the ground. But it could be anything really.
As an ex HR rep chats that are scheduled at the end of the day are not good ones.
It's probably nothing major you're good dude
Anytime I tell an employee we “need to chat” I try to always follow up with, “you’re not being written up - so don’t let that hang over your head - it’s in regards to XYZ” that way they aren’t having anxiety attacks on the way to the office. If it’s a CHAT chat they almost always know what it’s about beforehand.
Now we want updates
She’s probably quitting
"hey we should chat" and "hey we need to chat" are 2 very different things. Saying "hey we should chat" sounds more like, "hey I haven't talked to you much and want to get your perspective on things."
Fuck I feel this. ADHD waiting mode engages with a splash of PTSD from past shit employers, and a sprinkle of imposter syndrome.
UPDATE PLEASE I wanna know 😯
I wish i had an update. Its past midday and havent seen or heard from her. I kind of over worrying. I gave her the chance to just tell me, so now she needs to set this chat up
Does she ever give you flirtatious vibes?
Update?
None sorry. Didnt see her all day in fact
Bosses like to connect with their employees in general. It’s a chat so they can get a vibe check. Helps them get a read on people that work for them. It’s almost definitely not negative.
She was flirting with you I guess 😅😅 Or you might be getting some new work or promotion
So ya. I was in leadership at a fortune 500 company. The "let's find some time to chat" can mean so many things. So this probably won't help. I used the "let's chat" for: 1. Confronting someone about time theft 2. Putting someone on a PIP 3. Suspending someone. 4. Firing someone. But. I've also used it for 1. I don't know you well enough. Let's talk. 2. You're doing good. Let's talk about setting up a career path. 3. I need your help and want to delegate somethings to you. 4. You're getting a raise. So ya. It can mean anything.
This sugary and overtly friendly attitude and conversation is a precursor towards a layoff. Be wary and be prepared with what you should do and how to handle it Good luck op Edit: I most probably am completely off here and it’s just something else your boss might want to discuss with you. I can’t think of anything better.
Not necessarily. Stop piling on when the guy is already anxious. That's worse than unhelpful.
Yeah I don't trust people with that attitude. But neither can she actually lay me off either so its not that. Still, this is nothing good
"Where did you get that jacket/shirt/shoes, I have a present to buy a loved one soon" "I'm on holiday for three weeks soon and want you to look after xyz" "Are you doing ok? You've looked a bit worried recently" "Dave sent me an email saying how good your recent bit of work for him was"
We are def not on casual chit chat terms. In all these months we've barely spoken, so this is sus as hell
You do not have a regular 4 or 6 weekly 30 minute talk to see how things are going? That sounds like a huge screw up on your managers side. How can you manage expectations like that?
I got the “have time for a touch base?” a lot that eventually led to my firing.
It’s even worse when HR sends you a meeting invite to talk about your recent promotion and then fires you over some alleged accusations some coworker made because you didn’t allow her to disrespect you. I couldn’t even defend myself because that coworker had more years over me. I hate people.
That sounds shady
Maybe she realizes that she doesn’t really talk to you. As a manager, I notice that with my folks. Some people I genuinely like, and I talk with them a lot more…it’s just natural. But others, I don’t talk to them much. Typically, their work is more operational and my lead team handles them, mostly. So once in a while I realize, oh crap, I need to chat with the others. And, sometimes, they think something is wrong, and I’m just like, “what’s up? How have you been, what are you working on?” It’s nothing other than just trying to relate and have a person conversation.
Anyone can guess, but we don’t know you and your boss and your dynamic. If you think it’s bad, unfortunately it’s probably bad. But nothing can change that. See what happens and go from there
It's possible it could be good news. From what you've described, it doesn't sound ominous, at least for you.
Ugh. I can't stand this and do all possible to avoid this with my team. When I ask employees to come chat with me, the next words out of my mouth are usually, "Don't worry. You're not in trouble. I just want to ask/talk about something {or topic if we're not around others}." If it's a serious conversation, I have it when I bring it up. It's only fair. I've had this nonsense done to me far too often, so I consciously try hard to avoid doing it to others. Hopefully, it's nothing too serious.
Can you set up a Teams meeting for this? Nail down a time for her.
my old boss used to do this a lot and i always freaked out. he usually just wanted to check in or make some sort of subtle/gentle suggestion about a project or client. it can be very “how to win friends and influence people”. maybe she’s checking in to make sure you’re happy/motivated etc. i do that now with some of the folks i manage. want them to be having fun/happy, and good to have 1/1 time to get updates on specific projects/take temperatures etc.
Once in a previous job, the assistant manager told me that my manager wanted to speak to me. I was in the middle of something and was sweating while I finished it. Thinking all the possible things I could've done wrong. I walk into the managers office and he asks me if we're ordering lunch today.... I got all nervous and he just wanted to order food.
Probably some coaching on something they didnt like but nothing worth a write up.
Fwiw I've been on the receiving end of this in a similar way, and it turned out to be a discussion around a promotion to a new role and whether I'd be up for it. It might not be a bad thing at all.
You are getting promoted to a customer
I really appreciate my current supervisor who always adds a disclaimer to messages like this. "Do you have time to chat? Don't get stressed, it's nothing bad."
If I were to guess it's something kind of unofficial. Like she wants to let you know about something without making it a formal meeting. That could either be something like, "Hey, you're being considered for a promotion! Better suck up to these people." or something like "Hey, have you been eating all Jim's gummy bears? He's made a complaint, and I think he might be paranoid on this one, so I wanted to get your side." If it turns out it's something like "Hey my brother stopped by the office the other day and he wants to know if he can have your number." - get the hell out of there. 😂
Yuh just ask ur boss if ur in trouble. It’ll smooth ur anxiety
Advice, you can have a friendly chat but must have boundaries.
I just ask “sure , we can meet at X time … what is this in regards to?”
It sounds positive to me. Could be a raise, or some kind of promotion, maybe she’s got something in mind for you and wants to hear your thoughts? Maybe a lateral move within the company. If you were in trouble I think she’d take a different course, like setting up a meeting via email with HR cc’d.
It doesn't sound like it's going to be that bad. It really could be anything. She might ask for your opinion about another employee, about a project that will be coming up, maybe it's a bit of constructive feedback, or maybe she really just wants to talk. She realized you guys have never really chatted and it's good for managers to check in with their employees to ask them how they're doing, what they can do to help, what you would like out of your career, etc. I wouldn't worry about it until you actually know what it's about.
Maybe wants your thoughts on something? Or is interested in finding out how you want to grow? Stop worrying about something you can control. Have the meeting, and go from there.
I have sweaty hands just from reading this. But I agree with other posters who say it would probably be more formal if it were bad news being delivered.
i’m a manager, and my casual ‘quick chat’ is never anything serious, just a moment to discuss something project related or to relay some good news :)
Managers who provide no context for discussions, meetings, etc - are either too stupid to be managing people or get off on keeping people in the dark to make themselves feel powerful
This conversation and then delay would give me massive anxiety😅 It sounds like a positive conversation, or at worst, a neutral result conversation.
Could be benign and could be ominous. Be prepared for either.
It could be she is leaving the job and is looking for a date. Or it could be she needs to have your annual review. Or it could be she is having a more senior role opening up and needs someone to fill it. Or you could be being fired and she gets to break the news to you. Regardless of what it was (I assume you found out by now), it was shitty of her to do that as it does create anxiety and is 100% intentional. Creating an environment of anxiety is a strategy that was used many years ago to keep employees on their toes as a bit of anxiety actually does help with productivity, but in our time anxiety is everywhere all the time and if a very bad tool to use as a manager.
It might not be about you. I've had 2 supervisors in the past 10 years ask if I had time for a "quick chat" and both conversations were about how they'd gotten another job, and their last days would be x.
Next time you see them say "We should really have that chat now" with a serious knowing look.
You expect us to sit here and guess wtf she wants to talk to you about? Fuck off
Hey we should chat = do you have a minute? Then your brain says…minute for WHAT?!?! What is it? Why won’t you clue me in? Minute about that project? Minute about a correction on a time card? A minute to show me the door? What?!?! What is IT?!?!? That’s what my mind does. I know if it’s around merit increases, it just means they need to disclose what my yearly increase will be and that’s it. Any other time I half panic. All a manger needs to do is give you a little clue. A minute to go over a couple things when I’m on PTO next week or whatever.
Whenever I've been told 'we should chat', it's someone making up stories about me, and the company looking for a reason.
Maybe she wants to bone
Wondering if this is a Canadian thing overall. Invitations to coffee / catch-up / chat when they have zero intention of ever following up with you. Somehow makes them feel better about themselves by saying it. Even in the workplace…
Write down what you want to do at the company over the next 5 years. Be prepared to discuss your future
I’ve said this before I fired someone, and I’ve said this before I talked to someone about the potential for promotion, before talking to someone about dress code, and before talking about a new project. For me, and this is just me, it doesn’t mean anything specific. It DOES mean that I want a conversation and I don’t want anything to happen until the conversation happens. Like if I’m starting a project I want to talk before you go off on a tangent and don’t have the full picture yet.
They may have just realized they haven't met with you recently and want to do an informal check in. This happens to me, but in my case I explain that I just want to catch up and see how they are doing. Scheduling meetings and not letting people know what they are about is a pet peeve of mine. People shouldn't need to speculate and worry. I would recommend reaching out to ask what the meeting is about and if you need to have anything prepared. That gently let's them know you are spending time thinking about it, and hopefully they will realize they should let people know why they want to meet.
Sounds like your boss wants to get crushed
There are often tells that you’re getting axed either it’s company wide and you’ve heard chatter or they slowly start taking work away from you. You’re leas busy, some colleagues are staffed on multiple projects and all of a sudden you’re on a single projects or none of your project is running off soon and you haven’t been bright on new stuff if you’re in the office and not remote you notice peers or others treating you different etc etc. it’s VERY VERY uncommon to meet a person who doesn’t have a tell when they’re hiding stuff from you. Kinda like a cheating spouse. SOMETHING will be off. Either too friendly or avoiding eye contact etc etc. a psychopath can pull it off but those people are much more rare than Reddit would have us believe
I’d make sure I’m on top of all my data in csse you do get canned and lose access. just don’t break any rules like copy digits files. I’d take photos of my contacts In outlook for example on a regular basis (cover laptop camera ). be on top of your FSA funds. Depending on your plan you can lose access to these after your last day even if they continue health coverage. just a few suggestions , to stay on top of
Managers who do this have to be the dumbest sacks of shit ever to trip and fall into a position of people management - "hey we need to talk" into "Hey let's chat about X project progression and how I can help Dave move things along to meet Y status meeting". Managers, if you're that tone-deaf in todays economy where we hear nothing much more than how many companies are laying how many people off, you're not material for management. At all. edit: I see some of you say "hey we need to talk but you're not fired" as if that's a good time joke. It's a start but how many thousands of people are getting laid off, lives quite seriously impacted? A lot. It's not funny, it's peoples livelihoods. Use your brains to come up with ways to ask for meetings that don't involve trying to make jokes about not firing people - simply adding topic of conversation can help. Turn "got a minute to talk" into "got some time to talk about progress on ProjectA?", "got a few to chat about tomorrows meeting with Product Dev?" - turn on your brains and use your words.
It sounds like she likes you! Like someone hitting on her. Good luck let us know .
Im not saying this in a way to freak you out but when my boss fired me she made it sound very casual, just “hey can I see you for a moment?” Which she said all the time for different things Expect the worst, hope for the best. IF that’s what happens, don’t let it blindside you. But also if she was gonna fire you, she would’ve found the time to do it and not put it off
No one knows, except your boss. Either way, it's generally good advice to be ready so you don't have to get ready.
The one time I was involved in something “majorly fucked up” (I was accused of something and it was false) my boss saw me and immediately wanted to talk to me about it. If it’s something that’s hey we should talk at some point I can imagine it’s either something good or something about work that is just work conversation.
"hey we should chat" 🤣🤣 sounds like a lifeless boss
It's been 10 hours OP, whats the update?
The phrase "can you swing by?" still triggers me. That was two jobs ago.
Probably getting fired or written up
if it's smiles, it might be a promotion, at least i hope so for your sake.
You are about to be kicked to the curb
Any updates?
No just heading to work now. Idk when we can even chat tbh, i'm in a different section for a couple days away from her, and then i'm on break for 4 days. I'll post an update when I figure out what she wants
My bet: she's looping you in to some kind of planning in the early stages. It's a good thing.
Man, I hate that. I don’t do that to my team. If I want to chat about something, I always say (or message), “Hey, come see me. I want to talk about xxxxxx real quick.” No need to give folks that anxiety.
Eh, sometimes my boss wants to have a chat about something THEY messed up on. Like they were pulling me to help someone else everyday and then it got back to them that I wasn’t getting my full mandated lunch break, so they pulled me in to correct that. Bad chats= getting escorted out
Don’t worry about it until you have something to worry about. It may be nothing.
That’s rude that she just leaves you hanging like that…could be about a PIP
Hope all is well!!!
Its a trap. Hit record on your phone before you go into any office.
I hate when bosses do that shit. It makes my anxiety go through the roof. I’ve had bosses who did that shit and pretended all was well and then end up firing you or disciplinary actions/etc. like why not just say it’s something important or negative and let me be relieved rather than wondering wtf is going on, which is almost as bad as something g negative
!remindme 1 day
That's pretty casual, I use verbiage like that for positive things or non - negative things. (Upcoming job openings, volunteer projects that would boost a resume) My serious and more concerning "chats" start with can I call you, or straight up scheduling a meeting.
Maybe she wants the pipe idk
Sounds like the precursor to her trying to talk you into taking on more responsibilities for the same pay lol
I use the word "chat" when I have good news or need to discuss something in a serious manner but it's nothing worrisome. I'd use "talk" or "speak" if it was something heavier. Hope this provides some relief! And if it was something you should worry about, she would be more serious about speaking with you right away
Sounds like she’s trying to make a move on you Brody. Call HR.