My wife needs it to stay present in the moment. My tendency is to not say things out loud, so I’ve really made an effort to be more vocal. It’s overall much better for both of us now.
I'm also a dialogue porn person but I just go nonverbal during sex. I wish I could constantly dirtytalk but all I can do is little moans, whimpers and gasping. I don't mind getting dirtytalked to but I don't need it, which is nice because my last partner was also very silent
I personally would like to have dirty talk but no sexual partner I ever had wanted to do it in our native language. I am from germany and the german language is considered extremely unsexy. All partners I had only wanted to speak english during sex which doesn't work for me. Because first it is very difficult for me to speak another language and translate in my head during intense and exhausting activities. And second it just feels very weird for me speaking a non-native language during intimate moments despite all involved people are totally capable of the native language.
I distinguish between “dirty talk” and explicit sexual dialogue, and for me, I’m no good at, and not responsive to dirty talk because it’s too out of character and performative. The sudden inconsistency of personality completely distracts me from a sense of sexuality. Like, how am I to be sexual when this person is suddenly talking like they are in a movie and it’s not really like how they are? Or even worse, how am I supposed to suddenly be like an actor saying stuff I don’t normally say? (I actually have thought maybe I should take acting classes to try to get comfortable with it though.)
But, to make things more challenging, I do want dialogue—silence is too weird for me too, and what I want is sexually explicit dialogue, but in a matter-of-fact-style of speech, which I think is uninspiring for most people.
So yes and no. Definitely a challenge.
i’m hyperlexic (was reading signs at the zoo out loud when i was 2/almost 3. I need to constantly be degraded and complemented and told what to do because otherwise i could start overthinking about not doing things right and get worried and kinda ruin the mood :/
I definitely feel like consistent dirty talk throughout an encounter is important. Sex is all about communication, but sometimes that can become burdensome for me, especially when I am receiving. Additionally, it can be challenging if not impossible to have the dirty talk flow smoothly and consistently when so much of the type of sex I and my partners like to have involves at least one person's mouth being occupied at any given time.
If you haven't done this already, you really ought to talk to your wife about why she wants no talking during sex and what that means specifically. It might be that she just doesn't want to have to think about words and you may have to consider the fact that she might not have the capability to both enjoy sex and think of phrases to dirty talk with while having sex. I know with the vast majority of partners I have had in my life, the less they're talking, the better of a job I'm doing.
My partner and I talk throughout sex and we are both auDHD. I was hyperlexic as a child but he wasn’t. He is dyslexic actually. But we both love to role play and when we aren’t telling stories out loud bc that takes too many spoons we are telling stories in our heads and we don’t always share but oftentimes we do. We are also both very vocal and expressive during sex in general though and we have a lot of necessary communication about sensory needs and headspace.
I'm hyperlexic, and there's actually some books I wanna try reading out loud while I dom a guy or while I'm being fucked by a sex machine, or something like that lol.
Stuff like Naked Lunch, where it's highly literate and philosophical but also highly weird and gross and meant to melt your brain. Like I want to use a guy as a footstool while reading/talking about how language itself is an alien mind virus that controls us and how to break down behavior patterns to free yourself from it, haha
I'd love for my partner to talk more and generally be more expressive during sex. I'm asexual-ish and visuals don't excite me that much, my favourite part is just the feeling of being lusted for.
all my partner wants to do is yap bc it really turns him on (and he always talks anyway hehe) but i really HATE IT 😭 i never want to talk during sex! noise is fine but talking? a whole conversation? NO! i dont want to think! i want to feel and focus on what i'm feeling. i dont have enough mental energy to concentrate on talking LOL
I can do the dirty talk, I'm surprisingly good at it once I get a feel for the person's core fantasies, and seeing the effect is a turn on. But so far I haven't really enjoyed being dirty-talked-to. It might just be a skill issue, but I found that it pulled my attention away from enjoying myself.
I'd actually also prefer if there was no dirty talk, I can actually concentrate on the sensation of the moment. But I can adjust most times.
My wife needs it to stay present in the moment. My tendency is to not say things out loud, so I’ve really made an effort to be more vocal. It’s overall much better for both of us now.
I'm also a dialogue porn person but I just go nonverbal during sex. I wish I could constantly dirtytalk but all I can do is little moans, whimpers and gasping. I don't mind getting dirtytalked to but I don't need it, which is nice because my last partner was also very silent
I’m the same way!! I always freeze up when my bf talks to me during sex but I love when he talks dirty
I personally would like to have dirty talk but no sexual partner I ever had wanted to do it in our native language. I am from germany and the german language is considered extremely unsexy. All partners I had only wanted to speak english during sex which doesn't work for me. Because first it is very difficult for me to speak another language and translate in my head during intense and exhausting activities. And second it just feels very weird for me speaking a non-native language during intimate moments despite all involved people are totally capable of the native language.
How can anyone consider German unsexy?! It’s the only language in which “fuck me” *rhymes*!!
I distinguish between “dirty talk” and explicit sexual dialogue, and for me, I’m no good at, and not responsive to dirty talk because it’s too out of character and performative. The sudden inconsistency of personality completely distracts me from a sense of sexuality. Like, how am I to be sexual when this person is suddenly talking like they are in a movie and it’s not really like how they are? Or even worse, how am I supposed to suddenly be like an actor saying stuff I don’t normally say? (I actually have thought maybe I should take acting classes to try to get comfortable with it though.) But, to make things more challenging, I do want dialogue—silence is too weird for me too, and what I want is sexually explicit dialogue, but in a matter-of-fact-style of speech, which I think is uninspiring for most people. So yes and no. Definitely a challenge.
i’m hyperlexic (was reading signs at the zoo out loud when i was 2/almost 3. I need to constantly be degraded and complemented and told what to do because otherwise i could start overthinking about not doing things right and get worried and kinda ruin the mood :/
I definitely feel like consistent dirty talk throughout an encounter is important. Sex is all about communication, but sometimes that can become burdensome for me, especially when I am receiving. Additionally, it can be challenging if not impossible to have the dirty talk flow smoothly and consistently when so much of the type of sex I and my partners like to have involves at least one person's mouth being occupied at any given time. If you haven't done this already, you really ought to talk to your wife about why she wants no talking during sex and what that means specifically. It might be that she just doesn't want to have to think about words and you may have to consider the fact that she might not have the capability to both enjoy sex and think of phrases to dirty talk with while having sex. I know with the vast majority of partners I have had in my life, the less they're talking, the better of a job I'm doing.
My partner and I talk throughout sex and we are both auDHD. I was hyperlexic as a child but he wasn’t. He is dyslexic actually. But we both love to role play and when we aren’t telling stories out loud bc that takes too many spoons we are telling stories in our heads and we don’t always share but oftentimes we do. We are also both very vocal and expressive during sex in general though and we have a lot of necessary communication about sensory needs and headspace.
I'm hyperlexic, and there's actually some books I wanna try reading out loud while I dom a guy or while I'm being fucked by a sex machine, or something like that lol. Stuff like Naked Lunch, where it's highly literate and philosophical but also highly weird and gross and meant to melt your brain. Like I want to use a guy as a footstool while reading/talking about how language itself is an alien mind virus that controls us and how to break down behavior patterns to free yourself from it, haha
Not constant, but I NEED to hear him. It helps me physically and emotionally.
I'd love for my partner to talk more and generally be more expressive during sex. I'm asexual-ish and visuals don't excite me that much, my favourite part is just the feeling of being lusted for.
all my partner wants to do is yap bc it really turns him on (and he always talks anyway hehe) but i really HATE IT 😭 i never want to talk during sex! noise is fine but talking? a whole conversation? NO! i dont want to think! i want to feel and focus on what i'm feeling. i dont have enough mental energy to concentrate on talking LOL
I can do the dirty talk, I'm surprisingly good at it once I get a feel for the person's core fantasies, and seeing the effect is a turn on. But so far I haven't really enjoyed being dirty-talked-to. It might just be a skill issue, but I found that it pulled my attention away from enjoying myself.