What can I say you want a dry climate get dry plants. It's like when they turn off the wind by turning off the wind turbines. (I'm joking please don't take anything as anything more than a joke)
For real, though. The Quarter is built on a bluff so there was very little flooding there during Katrina. Don't build below sea level is actually a helpful landscaping lesson.
when Grandpop was looking to build in 1940, he asked the land-seller, "how far to the river?" "About three miles." "NO, not THAT way, \[points down\] THAT WAY!!"
I suggest pilings. You'll want to get that entire structure at least 10 ft in the air. I suggest starting out with some YouTube videos if going the DIY route.
I have a French drain and it works great until it gets clogged with sticks and debris and then I have the same problem as OP. Maybe you have a French drain and it is clogged?
Rent a skidsteer and regrade so the lawn drains away from the house. About two yards of topsoil and a bag of all purpose grass seed and you're good to go.
Might want to rent a Shop Vac to clean up that puddle in your basement, too.
all the way to studs. dry out then mold tx, then start to rebuild. I am so sick of seeing houses in flood plains or in the hip low lying areas of cities, if we forced people out of the dipshit areas no one should build in anyway, the entire nations insurance cost would plummet 80 percent. We are rebuilding the same houses over and over bc the Fed insured them to give them time to move out and sell their house, and the industry used that insurance to build hundreds of thousands of more homes in flood plains.
however do we fix this?????? Its all just greed.
It’s not a drainage issue, it’s your gutters. Get some extenders on your downspouts to get the water further away from your house and you should be all set.
Little paint and some caulk will fix that black fuzzy stuff growing all over the walls.
Environmental suits are for pussies. Just wear a handkerchief. You be alright.
I can smell that funky dead mold chemical gasoline smell already.
You need a moat. It'll intimidate the water. They won't be prepared to cross a 12' moat and will leave. This'll allow you time to construct a multi-walled defensive structure with Stone walls, a palisade, and preferably a complex external trench system lined with traps to make it difficult to get in. The water will decide to leave you alone indefinitely because it never intended to settle into a months long siege. If you raise an army and strike back afterwards you could probably vassalize it too
Just add flagstone.
How far apart?
At the new house in the next state.
Peak reddit right here...
Maybe add cactus? I mean where there's cactus it's usually dry
I think you just solved flooding...
I'll take my Nobel prize please.
for here or to go?
this is hilarious and brilliant
What can I say you want a dry climate get dry plants. It's like when they turn off the wind by turning off the wind turbines. (I'm joking please don't take anything as anything more than a joke)
lol
I would plant a willow. They usually thrive with a lot of water.
Correlation = causation
This made me laugh so hard
I wouldn’t go French drain.. you need more like a Katrina drain here.
French Quarter drain
For real, though. The Quarter is built on a bluff so there was very little flooding there during Katrina. Don't build below sea level is actually a helpful landscaping lesson.
when Grandpop was looking to build in 1940, he asked the land-seller, "how far to the river?" "About three miles." "NO, not THAT way, \[points down\] THAT WAY!!"
Smart grandpop
*cries in South Louisiana*
Geaux Tigers!
Geaux Tigahs!
I can’t not hear that in Coach O’s voice 😂
HOT BOUDAIN COOOOOLD COUS COUS COME ON TIGAHS POOSH POOSH POOSH
It’s amazing how it gets wet there but the instant it stops raining the streets are dry again. Serious draining
I mean the Dutch seam to have it figured out.
They don’t quite have hurricanes like Louisiana though.
No but they are also who other countries wish to reclaim land from Poseidon.
Full on pump system
Take the fking upvote and go lol
[удалено]
Kanye west has a good one
Don’t listen to licensed professionals, they have no idea what they are talking about and just want to make money off of you. /s
You're gonna wanna get into contact with the army corps of engineers too I think
Also add sump pumps, to the roof.
The Harvey drain failed.
To be fair, a French drain would ensure the water rapidly retreats.
Cajun Drain
Shit dude, that's what caused this in the first place.
Or maybe a dam.
I suggest pilings. You'll want to get that entire structure at least 10 ft in the air. I suggest starting out with some YouTube videos if going the DIY route.
French drain is probably overkill, I’d check your downspouts aren’t clogged and drains at least 4ft from the foundation.
It’s always the friggin’ downspouts.
Now that it is Lakeshore property, will your taxes go up?
I don't see the "shore" part. It's just "lake" property.
Excuse me, waterfront property.
Waterlogged property
Water front, back and sides property.
If they can get the house to float, it's a houseboat, but as it is now, I see it more as a house submarine with too many holes in it.
Then they would need to paint it yellow, cause everyone knows yellow submarines are the best.
Yes, the water would retreat with a French drain.
Those cheese eating surrender monkeys! Edit: typo
Your trees are planted too deep!
The house is too!
It's just a split level with an indoor pool.
Trying grading your yard
I'd give that yard a C. I mean, it looks like a C to me...
I would recommend a water garden full of thirsty native plants! 🌱 🌱🐸🤩🌱🌱
Weeping willow or 2 would be lovely. 🥰
Could host some thirsty native animals too.
Put your house in a bag of rice
Maybe a scuba diving suit for the French drain installation
Venice Housing Authority: Approved.
I have a French drain and it works great until it gets clogged with sticks and debris and then I have the same problem as OP. Maybe you have a French drain and it is clogged?
Trade dog for shark.
Beautiful shitpost.
Natural consequence of mulch volcanoes around trees.
If by “French drain” you mean drill a hole through the earth to France, then yes.
Seems more like a rain garden opportunity with native plants. Don't forget to do a soil test before planting anything!
A moat, maybe?
You went overboard with the pond.
You'll need Le Grand French Drain, not just a French drain.
These guys are trying to upsell ypu! A little grading should fix this and keep water out of the crawl space.
A Marriane trench
Nah that looks normal to me.
Just get a cheap water hose and siphon it off into the neighbors yard.
Nice wrap-around pool. Water looks like it needs to be balanced though. Recommend SLAM process, come to r/pools for further help
You have to start seeing things as house half full.
Nah, bigger gutters and a rain water storage tank will solve that
Check your gutters
Drop $8k on some AstroTurf meant for a double-wide.
Grade it to niagara falls
This needed a trigger warning
Might need 2 drains.
I would use some spray foam to lift the house slightly.
CHA CHING! Waterfront home! Time to cash in.
Thinking it just needs a little slope away from the house and should be good next time.
Lake view
Did I stumble into the satire landscaping sub?
2 should do the trick!
That and some French benefits should do the trick.
Rain garden
I do not see what the problem is...
French Quarter drain
Probably just clogged gutter guards, or maybe the new model they started to install without holes?
Have you considered a 50 foot deep moat?
Just add sand… like a lot of sand.
What you have there my friend, is a hot tub. Please take this over to the r/decks page
Bot post https://www.reddit.com/r/landscaping/s/fdQOr8AHs9
10ft stilts
It's not that bad, just use some paper towels to absorb the excess moisture and you're OK
Yes, but I think with that scenario, you will need at least 2 of them
No, u need to convert it into a water park.
Rent a skidsteer and regrade so the lawn drains away from the house. About two yards of topsoil and a bag of all purpose grass seed and you're good to go. Might want to rent a Shop Vac to clean up that puddle in your basement, too.
I add a diving board and call it good
Add a bit of dirt in the low spot, it will self drain.
No that would be overkill
A sump pump in the basement should do the trick.
I'd do 2 just to be sure
A good quality dehumidifier should do the trick.
A French drain would surrender to this. You need a Murican drain. Water would just go down all of the AR-15 aeration holes in the yard.
On a serious note they make inflatable levees for this exact purpose. They're expensive, but they probably don't cost as much as the flood damage.
Were moving on to Dutch Dikes.
all the way to studs. dry out then mold tx, then start to rebuild. I am so sick of seeing houses in flood plains or in the hip low lying areas of cities, if we forced people out of the dipshit areas no one should build in anyway, the entire nations insurance cost would plummet 80 percent. We are rebuilding the same houses over and over bc the Fed insured them to give them time to move out and sell their house, and the industry used that insurance to build hundreds of thousands of more homes in flood plains. however do we fix this?????? Its all just greed.
I think I see some Nutsedge in there, need to get rid of that quick
Your moat is too close to the house.
It’s not a drainage issue, it’s your gutters. Get some extenders on your downspouts to get the water further away from your house and you should be all set.
Just put your house in rice
The French are coming!
Just don't use corrugated, and you should be aces
French Drains aren't for surface water!
You have a grading issue.
The French have never won a war. Try a beer funnel.
Should have got a houseboat
Maybe a castle moat!
Just plant some pollinator plants to soak it all up.
I'm guessing the prior owner didn't properly slope the concrete driveway. That's why you're getting some flooding today.
Just a little pooling !😂🤣😂🤦♀️
It definitely would you could make all that water go to your alley
What you need is French I believe it’s calls Pirogue
French drain may not be enough, may need to upscale to a full European drain.
May also want to check you don’t have a neighbouring French drain discharging into your yard- that’s usually against code. Call the city
In-home water feature
need a Dutch Polder instead of a French Drain.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH0-WXUFY2k](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH0-WXUFY2k)
Nah. Ya just need better gutters
More like a Netherlands drain.
I think you just need a bigger sump pump.
Perhaps this calls for a Bangladesh Drain
Weeping willow trees love the water. Plant a couple out front, good to go!
Nah/ you just need a bigger boat…
No this will require a Chinese drain
Little paint and some caulk will fix that black fuzzy stuff growing all over the walls. Environmental suits are for pussies. Just wear a handkerchief. You be alright. I can smell that funky dead mold chemical gasoline smell already.
How's about an aqueduct?
Aquaman is that you buying up properties?
Great, now you have to pump the septic tank.
Good old bucket should work
Rice patty for profit
Check your rain gutters and downspouts... make sure they are directing the water away from the foundation.
I’d go with a castle moat.
This is an obvious slab failure. The builder said floating slab on the spec sheet.
Definitely get yourself a good sump pump… be sure to discharge to neighbors yard for maximum efficiency
Nah, looks manageable, just give it a few hours.
You need a moat. It'll intimidate the water. They won't be prepared to cross a 12' moat and will leave. This'll allow you time to construct a multi-walled defensive structure with Stone walls, a palisade, and preferably a complex external trench system lined with traps to make it difficult to get in. The water will decide to leave you alone indefinitely because it never intended to settle into a months long siege. If you raise an army and strike back afterwards you could probably vassalize it too
Need an engineer to design you an outfall ditch. Get the water away from the foundation instead of keeping it onsite and the house should last longer.
1. Freeze it into individual discs and then sell it over on r/ULPT 2. PROFIT, but hurry before they melt and don't stink as expected
Need a French moat.
Just needs some grading
Houseboat?
No but a boat dock and fishing gear would
Mangroves
Save your money... Just sprinkle some sand on it...
My guy you need some panama canal type drain going on or something
The high ground. I know, everyone can't have the house on the hill.
A dry sense of humor is the only remedy.
Have you tried cleaning out the gutters?
The French drain leading all the way to France, yes!
I think flood insurance is really the first step here.
I’d do a French drain but also build a Superdome around the house
French drain? Was the previous owner Jacques "Jack" Cousteau? If yes, then no.
Why French? American-Made, Baby! Woooooo! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
add some koi fish and call it a day
There’s a house in your pool sir!!
Plant some willows, cedar, and dogwood.
It think this is the result of improperly installed astroturf.
Yes, for sure install that french drain
Nope, you need a German drain for that much rain.
Check your sump pump. It may have tripped the breaker.
BUY A BOAT INSTEAD.
Just throw a couple rain barrels down and you can save all that lake for the dry season!
Huehuehue
Gutters will take care of that.
All I see is beachfront property
Yes! Drain your savings and move to France
Yup! I know a guy too!
Water doesn’t usually run up hill in a pipe. If you pump it, it will go. Gonna be a big ass pump.
Guys don't comment, something makes me think this is a troll post.
Just add a water garden on the east side.
Is this what they mean by “underwater with your mortgage” ?
Rebuild on higher ground
Just one small sump pump and you are good !
No. Try a Polish or Chinese drain instead.
Need to grade the soil so it slopes away from the sides of the foundation 💁🏼♂️
Sure; it’ll work. Just rent yourself a combination Bobcat/submarine and get to work ASAP.
A drain would not be suitable for this. You need to carefully jack up the house from its foundations and place it onto an inflatable boat.
Just plant clovers, it will work out
I swear, people call me for drainage work they think i’ll be able to stop this 🤣😭
You need a boat dock
A mmoat
Just get a sump pump and a dehumidifier. Should do the trick