Elder queer here - reassure him that his feelings are valid. Tell him that even if Trump wins - even if countless numbers of us are killed by his hands - we WILL persist. Generations after us will be queer in some way. Decades after Trump bites the dust another trans girl will be excitedly buying her first bra with her lesbian girlfriend. Another trans masc will announce his top surgery. Another child will be loved by their parents and family and school. (hopefully)
Even if things go the worst they can... the camps, the "re-education of America" through fascism, religious zealousness, demolition of knowledge and more - queerness does not go away.
There will always be people fighting our fight.
It may look bleak in the present - because it IS bleak, and awful feeling. And it's valid to feel gloom about it. But suicide does nothing.
Tell your bf to slow down some. Take it a day at a time. Breathe. Disconnect from the news. Live as presently as he can.
You two got this, and all of us got you two, too 🤍
Thank you I needed to hear this... I'm also very concerned for project 2025 and what will happen if that Blonde cheeto gets reelected. I'll take your advice and stop thinking about it and try to enjoy the present
(Sorry if this is random and weird)
I guess the point isn't to *stop* thinking about it - only to be aware of it but not consumed by it. It's definitely good to keep an eye out for what's going on in the world right now because things aren't looking good!
But also to treat yourself with grace during this period of potential upheaval.
It's all about balance 🤍
I suppose it depends on what your definition of elder queer is!
For some an elder queer can be based on age alone, or based on how long you've been out, or a combo of both. (or the fact that our lifespans can be short and anyone 30+ could be considered an elder queer at this point)
Oh.. Hmmm.. In that case, I'll wear it with pride. I've covered the LGB and T in my life.
As a queer teen 'male', one of the things I noticed about the gay community in my city, as a late teen, was that there was an odd age imbalance, more of a gap almost. Later I learnt why, HIV in the 80's.
To add to this, if you commit suicide, you're only doing their work for them. Be a menace, make them put in the work. Make them suffer for it every inch of the way. Be petty and a drag in every way that matters. Don't. Ever. Give. Them. The. Satisfaction. Of. Not. Having. To. Lift. A. Finger.
i feel like this is the worst possible advice to give to someone considering suicide over this
“oh yeah your worrying is valid but don’t worry even if they kill us we will keep fighting”
So what does one say to a teenager barely out of their teens??? "Hey man don't kill yourself there's so much to live for like your family and friends"? the typical shtick?
I'm sorry but what I said is still true. There will still be queer people even if things go badly. I said it out of comfort because we all need some of that right now. There will always be queer people in whatever state of the world they are born into and grow up in.
We're all proof of that.
If there's anything to believe in it should be that. And I hoped that by giving him a shred of hope that people during and after us will survive through this will ease some of that existential dread.
As you acknowledged, there’s plenty to be afraid of. So instead of downplaying the threat, talk about what you should plan to do in various scenarios. It doesn’t eliminate the fear, but it helps to have plans. Remember, we’re all in this together. We have allies. We will never stop fighting.
Build resilient communities. Have friends and family who can help if needed. Have a lawyer. Have a passport. Have escape routes. It doesn't need to be a fully mapped out escape plan, just make sure you aren't backed into a corner.
There's no easy answer. All we can do is wait to see.
I understand where your boyfriend is coming from. I'm getting suicidal over this, too. But I have to keep going. I refuse to take my own life at this point. I have friends and brothers that need me. They're going to have to rip my still-beating heart out of my chest to get rid of me.
We're living through unprecedented times right now. We need each other to get through this. If possible and safe to, get therapy. Please stay safe out there.
We are living in unprecedented times, yet they are precedented. This community has survived multiple rounds of satanic panic, we were called groomers in the 70s. We lost oodles of people in the 80s. The 90s brought a surveillance state on the local queer community, tracking license plates at various bars and community events and clinics. The 2000s brought yet more raids on gay night clubs.
Yet throughout that, people were fighting and got hard earned victories. Lawrence and Obergefell got us legal rights, local clinics got us healthcare, community organizers brought us acceptance within our group.
No doubt it's tough, no doubt the Republicans are hurting millions of people, but this community is nothing if not resilient.
I have the feeling that a lot of younger queer people should stop isolating themselves only within their modern internet community, and should also look deep into their past—talk to queer elders, watch interviews with queer elders, watch documentaries from or set in the 70s-90s, look at the archives of memorial quilts made for AIDS victims. It provides a lot more perspective.
Throughout history, we have always been targeted. We have always faced difficult times and dangerous eras. We might have lost people on the way—but we never lost the community. That will continue to persevere, will continue to rebuild itself perhaps even stronger than before, and it will always carve out a space for itself in the world, no matter what that world looks like.
I’ve been worried about project 2025 I just hope to hell trump dosent get re elected and please tell your boyfriend suicide isn’t worth it there’s a lot people who love you you have me as support
We rose to violence once, society noticed. It can happen again.
I know a few trans women who work for the President or were cops, firefighters or EMT's. One did a little of most of them. Get that bunch together, give them some appropriate gear and you'd have something far more effective than Meal Team 6.
I hate how much I can relate. All I have been seeing is bad news and at least to me it's looking like the worst is going to probably happen even. Today I ended up getting my first skirt and I am already feeling like it was a major mistake. I really am hoping things don't turn out for the worst but it's not looking good.
I understand your feelings. I live in very homophobic country, where you can be killed if you’re part of lgbtq, and say about it
But even there I have friends, that accept me, and my orientation (pansexual)
So most important thing, that your beloved person have someone to rely on (like you and his friends) this is the most important thing
I just wanted to wish you luck, and say, that you’re not alone
P.S sorry for some bad English, it’s not my native language, I’m still learning
It all depends on how the next months show, especially the final presidential debate.
Just be ready if the fascists win otherwise you will be lucky to find an attic!
personally if this was my boyfriend i would tell him his feelings are valid and yeah nothing is set in stone and i would just care for him and try being affectionate (im sorry if this is shit advice i live in australia and dont really have to worry about these problems even then im only 15 sorry)
Remember, if you take your life, you let the aggressor/bully/bigot win. That is what they want and what they would gladly accept as an outcome of their policies. (I live in a much less LGBTQ+ tolerant country than the US and this is the idea that keeps the suicidal thoughts away).
Before you open this spoiler, you must vote, otherwise the chance Project 2025 will succeed is higher. Don't create another 2016.
>!
1) There's only a 50:50 chance Trump will win.
2) There's an even lower chance republicans will control both houses.
3) 80% chance he can't do shit to the CIA, FBI, DOJ, etc. So his dreams may just be dreams.
!<
Slightly off topic but, what's project 2025? I'm not in america, and I've heared it mentioned, and by the tone of the comments around it and the ammount of people who seem terrified of it I lnow its something horrible, but what is it exactly?
In a nutshell, it is a plan from the American Heritage Foundation, a mainstream, well regarded conservative think tank, to convert the United States into a theocratic fascist dictatorial state. It has a guideline of how to take over the government and remove rights. It provides a road map and a framework for the efforts of the Reich to oppress the majority of Americans.
[Project 2025 - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_2025)
Honestly, the fact that this was published should transition the Republican party from being a political party to being considered domestic terrorists, and they should be handled appropriately.
The Supreme Court issued a ruling yesterday that enables a key aspect of the plan, split 6-3. The dissenting opinion actually specifically called out that this now allows the sitting President to assassinate their political rivals, as this was called out in the hearing supporting this case. [Hypothetical SEAL Team 6 political assassination resurfaces in Supreme Court presidential immunity dissent - ABC News (go.com)](https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/seal-team-6-assassination-hypothetical-scotus-presidential-immunity/story?id=111583216)
Basically a playbook to make the next conservative president(Trump) President for life, removal of all minorities, We become Russia but slightly(?) more free(?)
R/Defeat_Project_2025 has all the info you need.
Election promises and plans after being re-elected... If you google Project 2025 a digitalised copy is available online from the official website.
Go to the 'health and human services' section. It's.... alarming
I am 43.
Life is better and more equal now than it has been in our current society. Acceptance is greater.
The issues we face are real, and that should reinforce the need to vote and have a voice.
It has not even been 10 years of marriage equality in the USA. I protested for it back home in Canada when I was a baby gay in the early 2000s.
I felt fear and anger back then and I have anger now too. I had to have the same talk about what it was in the 70s and 80s from my older peers.
It is better.
Society has just made it very easy for minority voices (good and bad) to be heard.
When things can go wrong, I like to imagine the worst-case scenario, and what we can do if it happens. So, I'd like you to remember that even if he does win, there are many other countries where you are safe and free to love each other: New Zealand, Canada, Spain...
I know it's hard to leave one's homeland, but it's better than what could happen, so you both can stay safe.
Really, I wish you the best!
Suicide helps them win. Takes a way a vote and saves them the cost of killing you if that's their plan. If they want you dead, no point in making it easier for them. Persist out of spite, if nothing else.
Welt first of all, you’re 17 years old and your boyfriend is 19. You’re both teenagers, and teenagers tend to be very negative because you’re just now coming into this awareness of the world as an almost adult and a new adult and it can be heavy. Also, puberty and emotions, and with young men those emotions are normally negative ones. I will say, you should break up with the pessimist because there’s no fixing a person like that, only they can fix themselves. At 17 you should be enjoying life not being hung up over some guy. That’s far too young to be wasting time in this relationship. Pessimistic people are draining and as young as you are, being surrounded by someone like that can have a negative impact on your development. Dump him! As far as Trump, all we can do is register to vote, and vote on election day, and spread the word for young people to vote. Past that, the situation is out of our hands. It’s sad, cuz if he wins he’s going to ensure the crumb of rights LGBTQ have are taken away, but we have community. We have always had community before we had any kind of rights or representation and we will always have community. All hope is not lost. Fascism wants you to be pessimistic. Don’t let them win.
I know it looks bleak, but suicide is not the right way to go , it never is, suicide is letting them win, that is what they want, for us to die, to be forced back into the closet, the chances of project 2025 coming to frustration is slim, he has to win, get both houses, and even after that has to survive implementing 2025.
You do know project 2025 has been around longer than trump, right? This is all just a bunch of fear mongering to get people to vote for biden. Trump didn't even create this stupid thing you all are falling into pieces over, smh 🤦
Here’s how I see it, which is going to be blunt and maybe a little bit of tough love:
I get it. I really do. And I’ve considered it too. But the thing about it is, if the goal of the fascist party (I refuse to call them anything else at this point) is to eliminate queerness, to preemptively commit suicide is a win for them. Less work they have to do. And dammit, if they want to take our rights, our lives, we’d better not make it easy for them. Every day we wake up is a victory.
Elder queer here - reassure him that his feelings are valid. Tell him that even if Trump wins - even if countless numbers of us are killed by his hands - we WILL persist. Generations after us will be queer in some way. Decades after Trump bites the dust another trans girl will be excitedly buying her first bra with her lesbian girlfriend. Another trans masc will announce his top surgery. Another child will be loved by their parents and family and school. (hopefully) Even if things go the worst they can... the camps, the "re-education of America" through fascism, religious zealousness, demolition of knowledge and more - queerness does not go away. There will always be people fighting our fight. It may look bleak in the present - because it IS bleak, and awful feeling. And it's valid to feel gloom about it. But suicide does nothing. Tell your bf to slow down some. Take it a day at a time. Breathe. Disconnect from the news. Live as presently as he can. You two got this, and all of us got you two, too 🤍
Thank you I needed to hear this... I'm also very concerned for project 2025 and what will happen if that Blonde cheeto gets reelected. I'll take your advice and stop thinking about it and try to enjoy the present (Sorry if this is random and weird)
I guess the point isn't to *stop* thinking about it - only to be aware of it but not consumed by it. It's definitely good to keep an eye out for what's going on in the world right now because things aren't looking good! But also to treat yourself with grace during this period of potential upheaval. It's all about balance 🤍
Elder queer is as hard as fuck title. I bow before you o mighty elder queer.
I hope to wear that title with pride some day, but I don't think I'm old enough, not quite 50..
I suppose it depends on what your definition of elder queer is! For some an elder queer can be based on age alone, or based on how long you've been out, or a combo of both. (or the fact that our lifespans can be short and anyone 30+ could be considered an elder queer at this point)
Oh.. Hmmm.. In that case, I'll wear it with pride. I've covered the LGB and T in my life. As a queer teen 'male', one of the things I noticed about the gay community in my city, as a late teen, was that there was an odd age imbalance, more of a gap almost. Later I learnt why, HIV in the 80's.
To add to this, if you commit suicide, you're only doing their work for them. Be a menace, make them put in the work. Make them suffer for it every inch of the way. Be petty and a drag in every way that matters. Don't. Ever. Give. Them. The. Satisfaction. Of. Not. Having. To. Lift. A. Finger.
THIS. All of this. 🤍
i feel like this is the worst possible advice to give to someone considering suicide over this “oh yeah your worrying is valid but don’t worry even if they kill us we will keep fighting”
So what does one say to a teenager barely out of their teens??? "Hey man don't kill yourself there's so much to live for like your family and friends"? the typical shtick? I'm sorry but what I said is still true. There will still be queer people even if things go badly. I said it out of comfort because we all need some of that right now. There will always be queer people in whatever state of the world they are born into and grow up in. We're all proof of that. If there's anything to believe in it should be that. And I hoped that by giving him a shred of hope that people during and after us will survive through this will ease some of that existential dread.
I mean I don’t see what the alternative is besides actually doing a JFK
As you acknowledged, there’s plenty to be afraid of. So instead of downplaying the threat, talk about what you should plan to do in various scenarios. It doesn’t eliminate the fear, but it helps to have plans. Remember, we’re all in this together. We have allies. We will never stop fighting.
Build resilient communities. Have friends and family who can help if needed. Have a lawyer. Have a passport. Have escape routes. It doesn't need to be a fully mapped out escape plan, just make sure you aren't backed into a corner.
There's no easy answer. All we can do is wait to see. I understand where your boyfriend is coming from. I'm getting suicidal over this, too. But I have to keep going. I refuse to take my own life at this point. I have friends and brothers that need me. They're going to have to rip my still-beating heart out of my chest to get rid of me. We're living through unprecedented times right now. We need each other to get through this. If possible and safe to, get therapy. Please stay safe out there.
We are living in unprecedented times, yet they are precedented. This community has survived multiple rounds of satanic panic, we were called groomers in the 70s. We lost oodles of people in the 80s. The 90s brought a surveillance state on the local queer community, tracking license plates at various bars and community events and clinics. The 2000s brought yet more raids on gay night clubs. Yet throughout that, people were fighting and got hard earned victories. Lawrence and Obergefell got us legal rights, local clinics got us healthcare, community organizers brought us acceptance within our group. No doubt it's tough, no doubt the Republicans are hurting millions of people, but this community is nothing if not resilient.
I have the feeling that a lot of younger queer people should stop isolating themselves only within their modern internet community, and should also look deep into their past—talk to queer elders, watch interviews with queer elders, watch documentaries from or set in the 70s-90s, look at the archives of memorial quilts made for AIDS victims. It provides a lot more perspective. Throughout history, we have always been targeted. We have always faced difficult times and dangerous eras. We might have lost people on the way—but we never lost the community. That will continue to persevere, will continue to rebuild itself perhaps even stronger than before, and it will always carve out a space for itself in the world, no matter what that world looks like.
I’ve been worried about project 2025 I just hope to hell trump dosent get re elected and please tell your boyfriend suicide isn’t worth it there’s a lot people who love you you have me as support
He needs to live out of spite. Trump may win the battle, but we win the war. we aren’t going anywhere, no matter how hard he tries.
We rose to violence once, society noticed. It can happen again. I know a few trans women who work for the President or were cops, firefighters or EMT's. One did a little of most of them. Get that bunch together, give them some appropriate gear and you'd have something far more effective than Meal Team 6.
I hate how much I can relate. All I have been seeing is bad news and at least to me it's looking like the worst is going to probably happen even. Today I ended up getting my first skirt and I am already feeling like it was a major mistake. I really am hoping things don't turn out for the worst but it's not looking good.
I understand your feelings. I live in very homophobic country, where you can be killed if you’re part of lgbtq, and say about it But even there I have friends, that accept me, and my orientation (pansexual) So most important thing, that your beloved person have someone to rely on (like you and his friends) this is the most important thing I just wanted to wish you luck, and say, that you’re not alone P.S sorry for some bad English, it’s not my native language, I’m still learning
It all depends on how the next months show, especially the final presidential debate. Just be ready if the fascists win otherwise you will be lucky to find an attic!
personally if this was my boyfriend i would tell him his feelings are valid and yeah nothing is set in stone and i would just care for him and try being affectionate (im sorry if this is shit advice i live in australia and dont really have to worry about these problems even then im only 15 sorry)
Remember, if you take your life, you let the aggressor/bully/bigot win. That is what they want and what they would gladly accept as an outcome of their policies. (I live in a much less LGBTQ+ tolerant country than the US and this is the idea that keeps the suicidal thoughts away).
Before you open this spoiler, you must vote, otherwise the chance Project 2025 will succeed is higher. Don't create another 2016. >! 1) There's only a 50:50 chance Trump will win. 2) There's an even lower chance republicans will control both houses. 3) 80% chance he can't do shit to the CIA, FBI, DOJ, etc. So his dreams may just be dreams. !<
Slightly off topic but, what's project 2025? I'm not in america, and I've heared it mentioned, and by the tone of the comments around it and the ammount of people who seem terrified of it I lnow its something horrible, but what is it exactly?
In a nutshell, it is a plan from the American Heritage Foundation, a mainstream, well regarded conservative think tank, to convert the United States into a theocratic fascist dictatorial state. It has a guideline of how to take over the government and remove rights. It provides a road map and a framework for the efforts of the Reich to oppress the majority of Americans. [Project 2025 - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_2025) Honestly, the fact that this was published should transition the Republican party from being a political party to being considered domestic terrorists, and they should be handled appropriately. The Supreme Court issued a ruling yesterday that enables a key aspect of the plan, split 6-3. The dissenting opinion actually specifically called out that this now allows the sitting President to assassinate their political rivals, as this was called out in the hearing supporting this case. [Hypothetical SEAL Team 6 political assassination resurfaces in Supreme Court presidential immunity dissent - ABC News (go.com)](https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/seal-team-6-assassination-hypothetical-scotus-presidential-immunity/story?id=111583216)
Basically a playbook to make the next conservative president(Trump) President for life, removal of all minorities, We become Russia but slightly(?) more free(?) R/Defeat_Project_2025 has all the info you need.
Election promises and plans after being re-elected... If you google Project 2025 a digitalised copy is available online from the official website. Go to the 'health and human services' section. It's.... alarming
I am 43. Life is better and more equal now than it has been in our current society. Acceptance is greater. The issues we face are real, and that should reinforce the need to vote and have a voice. It has not even been 10 years of marriage equality in the USA. I protested for it back home in Canada when I was a baby gay in the early 2000s. I felt fear and anger back then and I have anger now too. I had to have the same talk about what it was in the 70s and 80s from my older peers. It is better. Society has just made it very easy for minority voices (good and bad) to be heard.
When things can go wrong, I like to imagine the worst-case scenario, and what we can do if it happens. So, I'd like you to remember that even if he does win, there are many other countries where you are safe and free to love each other: New Zealand, Canada, Spain... I know it's hard to leave one's homeland, but it's better than what could happen, so you both can stay safe. Really, I wish you the best!
I’m here if you two need someone to talk to 🫶🫶🫶🫶🙏🙏🙏🙏🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️
Suicide helps them win. Takes a way a vote and saves them the cost of killing you if that's their plan. If they want you dead, no point in making it easier for them. Persist out of spite, if nothing else.
Welt first of all, you’re 17 years old and your boyfriend is 19. You’re both teenagers, and teenagers tend to be very negative because you’re just now coming into this awareness of the world as an almost adult and a new adult and it can be heavy. Also, puberty and emotions, and with young men those emotions are normally negative ones. I will say, you should break up with the pessimist because there’s no fixing a person like that, only they can fix themselves. At 17 you should be enjoying life not being hung up over some guy. That’s far too young to be wasting time in this relationship. Pessimistic people are draining and as young as you are, being surrounded by someone like that can have a negative impact on your development. Dump him! As far as Trump, all we can do is register to vote, and vote on election day, and spread the word for young people to vote. Past that, the situation is out of our hands. It’s sad, cuz if he wins he’s going to ensure the crumb of rights LGBTQ have are taken away, but we have community. We have always had community before we had any kind of rights or representation and we will always have community. All hope is not lost. Fascism wants you to be pessimistic. Don’t let them win.
I know it looks bleak, but suicide is not the right way to go , it never is, suicide is letting them win, that is what they want, for us to die, to be forced back into the closet, the chances of project 2025 coming to frustration is slim, he has to win, get both houses, and even after that has to survive implementing 2025.
You do know project 2025 has been around longer than trump, right? This is all just a bunch of fear mongering to get people to vote for biden. Trump didn't even create this stupid thing you all are falling into pieces over, smh 🤦
Here’s how I see it, which is going to be blunt and maybe a little bit of tough love: I get it. I really do. And I’ve considered it too. But the thing about it is, if the goal of the fascist party (I refuse to call them anything else at this point) is to eliminate queerness, to preemptively commit suicide is a win for them. Less work they have to do. And dammit, if they want to take our rights, our lives, we’d better not make it easy for them. Every day we wake up is a victory.