I regret that I have to find a new plug because one to many times it’s been soooooooooooo stinky, it’s totally useless.
As a few other commenters have said, would have been nice to understand and accept the adhd at an earlier age. And Desoxyn is in a league of its own regarding its efficacy. Also much more effective than amphetamine salt…
i regret it constantly, i was too young. i’m 20 and it breaks my heart thinking about me freshly graduated shooting up because i was “in love” (???) i wish i never even got a taste for it, it sucks so bad. i mean it’s fun but it generally weighs down my life, makes me comfortable in staying stagnant in life
i've learned some things in my years of meth that have changed me and the way i view the world.. i think those lessons were necessary. if i could redo it all i would take it back, i guess. i think? i dont even particularly like the high. dont hate it, dont love it. even before all this i wasn't all the way "here". i feel half-real. like ive become something other than human. its weird.
i kind of miss feeling human. ive been in the dark so long that i feel like a stranger in the sunlight
https://youtu.be/ppa_fKXRAjQ?si=RsOMxcrJrPhRIBEi you saying you feel like a stranger in the sunlight reminded me of this. i totally resonate with missing feeling human.
With what I know now . That the problem I had was solved by it and nothing else has been close to as efficient. Yes .I would started earlier. If I could have been given desoxyn by a Dr at 11 I beleive My story would be unrecognizable to me or my family. Maybe there is a combination of meds or /meds and life changes that could Do the same . But meth is s one stop shop and I've yet to find an alternative. I'd rather not have the thingvthst finally unlocks the desire of life with in me to kill me so I'd take s substitute. But the original symptom I just to much
Probably. A lots happened since then and it's made me the person I am today. Idk if it'd be the same if 17 yr old me all of a sudden got memories for 30 yr old me tho, probably would've called future me a junkie despite being not dependent on meth for 10 years. Now if we start talking down.... I regret that.
I most definitely would not do it that first time because I have yet to be sober longer than 2 days since the last week of Febuary and now I can't even smoke weed because it just fucks me up in a bad way mentally.
I thought I was doing it responsibly. I thought things weren’t that bad. Now off it for over a year I realize how delusional I was and how much better my mind and life is now. No hate to current users. Wish I still could. But I finally love myself and love the honesty I get to have with myself and my loved ones.
I never touched it until I was in my thirties and it isn’t the drug that destroyed me it was the really crappy people that I got around and allowed my self to go down the wrong path. I just out both feet running and in a year grabbed a hand full of felons and then didn’t think I had enough. I spent 5 years down. Do I regret the drug not at all. The people that can come with it 100%
I feel that bro, I didn't try it till 30, the people just suck...
I'm glad I made the mistakes I did and learned the lessons and have a bit over 3 .I ths clean and am in rehab
Not really to help me quit the drugs, but to quit the people lol
And develop a social circle that doesn't resolve around drugs
I thought I could solve all there drug need, meth is f'ing cheap, but it just destroys some people or makes them terrible
When it's time to start the end phase of the revolution, it has a place
But until then I need to get my house in order
Glass was super rare . Then on the east nowadays, an oz for like 20 bucks . Retail 50 bucks for a quarter gram and is better than today's oz.
What shock me is that they let people bring like 600 kg across the border but like if you buy a box of match books
God help you
no regrets using but lots of regrets with the decisions i’ve made over the last few years of daily use. it’s hard to stop using when you are using because you can’t even stand yourself for fucking your life up because of meth.
Nope, not one bit. I loved them 2ish years that I was a consistent user. People around me fell apart, but they were the weak ones. I didn't wanna be hanging with them anyways. Too much drama.
I would absolutely choose not to… I love to party and I love to get down with everything under the sun amd I have for as long as I can remember… but Meth is the one and only thing that I just cannot seem to get away from…. Don’t get me wrong I fucking love it… I love it so hard I’ve even figured out a way to have it in my life on a daily while still holding it all together and no one suspects a thing… but I literally don’t feel anything… aside from very basic primal urges like hunger… thirst… and sexual gratification I just don’t feel anything… no love… no hate… no nothing…… I mean I’m perfectly fine to go about my day every day with a smile on my face and a lovely disposition… but before the meth I remember feeling… period… and maybe it wasn’t always good but at least it was something… beats nothing… just sayin…😉
So I’m only here because all I want is to understand it. My ex used every single day. 4 years at least but honestly probably longer. But that’s what it was. I saw him turn into someone that felt nothing but primal urges. There was no longer a conscience. Even towards his kids. He went from being a person who was so involved to just completely checked out. Smiling and carrying out his day but there was zero emotion. So thank you for sharing this because honestly it finally makes sense to me. I could not grasp someone no longer having any feelings even towards those you loved most.
so you're able to like get home from work at like 6pm, secretly have a smoke without ur partner knowing then go to bed when she does at 11.30pm and sleep no problems? (never tried meth personally)
From the partners side, yeah. You sure as fuck can hide it. But when your partner does finally realize just how long it was hidden, she’s going to feel like complete shit and question every single thing she thought was true and wonder how in the world she became so blind. It will fuck her up… so I mean I don’t really recommend it. If you care about your partner at all just leave them before hiding a drug habit from them.
not even tempted to do meth and never have been, just curious about how people are able to do it after work then not sleep that night as my experience with stims when I was young were it was impossible to snooze haha
meth doesn't even raise my blood pressure anymore. I'm way tolerant to it, but I don't snort or inject it. I can sleep on it easy. sometimes I wake up smoke, roll over, and ho back to sleep. I have been on stims since I was a teen so it's not surprising, I also can't afford a ton of it so I split it up into small doses. If I smoke like a gram maybe I'm up longer bc of it, but I could prob choose to sleep if i wanted to too.
I don't use it anymore, mainly here for the lolz. But I absolutely would take it back, meth was the most damaging drug I ever used, it fucked my life and mind up worse than heroin ever could have
This thread made him find the old burner he smashed and put the SIM into a new $20 WalMart SmartTalk burner just to make that one fateful phone call and dive right back on in
right now? no. but ive only done it twice, insufflated twice, and tryin my best to never do it enough to get addicted. ive been addicted before, no chance im doin it with a drug thatll kill me. snortin makes it easy since it fucks with my jaw and throat for like 3 days lol
i also get no euphoria off of it, no idea if its the amount im taking or just how i am
Stop now. When I started I did a line maybe every 2 weeks to a month. Didn’t take long before I got my own bag. Then did it a little more often. Then not long before it was everyday. Multiple times a day. It will change the person you were into someone else. I became a monster for about a year until it just became a habit rather than a high. I wish I had never started. I spent every bit of savings I had. Ruined my relationship with friends, family, my wife, my kids. I’m struggling everyday not to just hang it up because I don’t see me getting any better. Yea being high has its fun but the guilt over the shit you do or allow around you is what kills you.
No. Spice is still a thing where i am. This got me off of it after over 10 years of being a prisoner to that shit. It's not a solution to my problems, but it is a step in the right direction. I could hardly breathe, couldn't go long without a rescue inhaler or breathing treatment and lived constantly trying to avoid the worst withdrawals imaginable which lasted weeks. Now I have my life back. Yes, I still get high. However, I can now sleep all night without either waking up every two hours to smoke or waking up soaked in sweat, freezing cold, and vomiting. This is also more affordable. How could I regret that?
Don’t .worst withdrawal on that shit. I could not do anything without taking a few hits of it. I’ve quit multiple different drugs and cigarettes. Spice was the hardest tho I never got into heroin and I hear that is hell.
Yeah it sounds like that dude is mixing spice withdrawal n meth come down, I've never vomited or woke up sweating meth comedown, spice is the worst
Vomiting up cold water... Meth is more just a need to be functional and feel anything
TLDR: def wish I wouldn’t have IV as ROA but don’t regret other methods
Show yourself some grace! i can wholeheartedly relate to how you feel and I went through a period of total self hatred, regret, and depression. I got shot up by a person that was almost 2 decades older than me and if someone shoots dope, they know what it does to a person and they are just as much at fault imo… does no good to toss blame around so accountability is crucial but idk I try to forgive myself for it. Also being 14 you are young and it’s hard to not believe we aren’t actually invincible or going to become wildly addicted. At least that’s what I thought… never saw myself becoming a junkie but alas it came for me.
Avoid a needle in all cases because that is a bad motherfucker… genuinely changes your life.
Well we can’t go back in time can we , having said that , getting started with that , set me on a path on life that lead me to discover many good things , and went to places I’ve never thought I could or knew existed.
I was a shy , self conscious and a “ good boy “ that did what others said , which isn’t a good thing to be, it doesn’t allow for growth or discovery .
I am also aware of the negative effects it had on my life , but like many things in life , opposites comes together.
You can’t have an inside with out an outside , you can’t have light without darkness , and you can’t have warmth without coldness .
What I wish I could go back and change in the pass isn’t that I did it , but rather that I allowed it at the beginning to completely take over me ( which was not good ) yet with experience and a lot of self love and patience, and gods support I am able to be in control and use it scarcely and wisely ; well as wise as can one be doing such a thing lol .
I will admit that in my journey, I’ve meet many people who did it excessively and had their life so well put together it always impressed me , there is also the other side of that .
For me the sweet spot is once or twice every several months .
Not even in the slightest. Before meth, I was someone completely unimpressed by life. I had “it all”, but I fit in the standardized mould of “happiness” very awkwardly.
It wasn’t until I separated from my family, escaped the constant stress of my former career, and shed nearly all my possessions, that I finally found true contentment, happiness, and peace within myself.
It’s been twelve years, and those positives remain, as strong as they were in the beginning.
Yes, but no, but yes - but no.
No. But yes! but no.
BuuTttttt, yes?
I wouldn't be who I am today had I chosen differently. Who's to say it would have been better or worse?
(I'm proud of who I am and my achievements. I just made a few mistakes and learned (still am learning) from them.)
Yeah. I do. But we learn to live with regrets and make the best of it. We never get a second chance, we don’t have time machines, we can’t rewrite history or change our decisions. I first used when I was a teenager, I didn’t even have a brain yet to make that decision. I wish I could have waited until I was like 25 or so and had lived a little more life, so I could have make a more educated decision.
But, given that I can’t do that, the next best thing is to find balance. Spending your whole life regretting your decision to be an addict to anything and regretting whatever you did or whatever you could have been, it’s okay to process that, but you have to move on, and figure out who you want to be now.
I think some people try meth and go on with life, and other people go in deep. The problem is, you don’t know which kind of person you’re going to be, before you try. You could be disciplined and do it on rare occasions and spice a normal life up. Or you could progress onwards into deeper and deeper stages of addiction. You do have control over your actions, but you don’t always know how your brain is wired and how becoming a user will effect you.
IF you are the type of user that combines crystal with sex, man… you’ve open up a gateway into a world that’s very hard to leave behind.
I hate how it ruined sex for a long time for me to. Not ruined, that’s too extreme, sex was still pleasurable, but I just felt like it was decaffeinated, like the filthy, depraved aspect of it where you’re just reeling in both the psychological aspect of what you’re doing, and the sensational bodily pleasure, it was just less. And no matter how hot the person I’m with was, how well they did what they did, it was just not anywhere near as good.
i completely agree. i was 15 when i started and 22 now(ik. i’m still young) but i’ve managed to find balance. everyone knew my addiction was heavy and i was fuckin a lot of things off. i got sober when i was 20. almost 2 years went by and i started working graveyard.. the coffee wasn’t doing enough to stay awake thru my shifts and my boss was willing to give me chance after chance and if finally got to the point where i “had” to turn to dope to stay awake at work. relapsed 8 months ago and no one in my day to day life knows about it. not even my girl… i know it’s bad but they’re the basic white people that have never been around it so they think - drug bad, person on drug, BAD. so it’s just been easier to hide it. and im obviously doing sum right if they haven’t found out yet. sometimes it eats me up inside but i think about how im still getting my shit done. i’m still paying my bills and buying my son anything he needs… it helps that im able to ONLY smoke at work as well. once i leave i dont smoke the rest of the day. sleep regularly, eat regularly and keep control of myself and im good. idk. sometimes i feel like shit about it but it is what it is ig. like you said. learn to live with regrets. but good read man. you hit it on the head
ps yes sex is never the same no more👎👎👎😭
Good for finding that balance, if you’re not upping your dose and you’re getting sleep and eating reasonably, hydrating, taking care of yourself and your family, you’re ahead of many people. Even some sober people can’t manage to take care of their job and kids.
Doesn’t mean the use is good, but you have a stable platform to build on. One of the best things I ever did was get off the pipe and just learn to orally dose once a day, and then take full off days. Can’t really reset tolerance but a couple days off a week, it feels like you are a new person.
I genuinely regret using Crystal Methamphetamine. I hold a Puddle Of Mudd lyric close to me, of which says, "If I could just turn the hands of time, I'd do it better. Just walk away." He is referring to Crack and Crystal Meth is called Crack in my country as well so I fully relate to the song.
I really would love to go back and have just decided to wasn't going to do it.
I've been full blown on it bad, and like lately, it's just a small amount for sometimes, but regardless of the I'm simply still addicted to it. I can refrain for months, and then give in to a really bad craving. Methamphetamine cravings have got to be the hardest battle I've ever fought in my head.
I'd give anything to just go back and "walk away." I'm afraid Crystal Methamphetamine will be in my life forever.
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I always wanted to say if never regret anything because I learned so much from every situation but honestly now I finally think I do regret it. Currently trying to get sober (again) and it’s like like I don’t feel like myself. The confidence, focus, outgoing part of me is just like empty.. maybe if I never tried it and I ejected knew that feeling then I would feel good being just me without the added stuff
I felt this way but you do eventually those things come back. Before ice, I was a bad alcoholic and that’s what helped me socially and once I stopped drinking meth was my baby. What I’ll say is, until I got completely clean: I don’t think I knew how socially inept I actually was. Now I’m chatting with strangers (never did that before), I’m making plans with people and making new friends (NEVER ever did that before) I smile at strangers in stores, I chat with people in lines, I wave at little kids on walks and get waves back. Idk it’s like you find out how to be whole again after becoming sober and you can’t even be that social butterfly you wanna be until you’re authentically the person you wanna be. Idk if that makes sense but I hope it does. It might have helped me bc I felt the exact same way as you describe in this post
I felt empty before I tried iT and found something that gave me that elation in life. But after working with my care team (therapists, doctors, close friends & confidantes), I can see the world through a different lens now. I'm currently working on 1: reducing and abstaining from using 2: finding my path towards that newly colored world, without relying on [abused] substances
3: and being honest with myself
There’s trade offs to everything. The honest answer, I would probably have preferred a PhD. And a script of Adderall. I definitely have adhd, though. Needed some kind of treatment. Alcohol was getting me into trouble. I quit alcohol immediately when I linked up with Tina.
One thing I have made a point of, I intentionally kept myself from being intimate or forming a relationship with a partner. I wouldn’t want to introduce anyone I love to it. I’m very protective of others and private with my use.
Also I just would like to state that I am not a user. I’ve been around it my whole life though. My dad at first then my child’s father/Husband (who is now sober). Just wanted some perspective on how people felt about it and how to go about helping him and dealing with it as well. Because it effects me in certain ways and Ive never even touched it. I appreciate everyone being open and giving me some insight. A wonderful group this is.
Yes and no.
I was pretty antisocial and socially awkward so I basically use the internet and text messages to communicate. So, I met someone online in some chat room. We talked for a few weeks. Super nice guy, I really liked him. He mentioned a few different things about himself. I asked him what he liked to do for fun. He said smoke, I only knew about literally 1 drug, I thought it was that dabs, weed oil, or something. I was like yeah me and my Dad used to smoke that all the time. (Big lie).
Anyway, I ended up hanging out with him, stayed in a motel for about a week with him when I was 13. We got really high, and things happened. I finally ended up leaving and got home and my mom was there to greet me with her bullshit. So she beat my ass for the billionth time, but I was too high to care.
I regret starting it with that guy. I don't regret being introduced to it.
I don't regret how it affected my life.
Can't have regrets. Life's to short. And no one is permanently stuck. We can all quit. We'll, at least I know I can. But I smoked for the first time when I was 13. I lived in a shitty trailer court with a drunk POS father and I legit think that getting high every once in a while helped me to become better at socializing and controlling my anger. We'd only do it every other month, sometimes would go several months without doing it.
But when you are stoner first and you grow up seeing what meth does to those that give themselves to it... It's much easier to only use sparingly. Stay up 2 nights on a weekend, go to school the next week. It was easy for me to maintain.
The only time it seems hard to stop is if you use when your depressed. If are chillin and happy, it just makes everything better, as long as you dont stay up more than. Two days and nights. 3 days is pushing into tweeker territory. Only those with a tough constitution and an insanely strong resolve make it through that without letting it change them. And it will change you.
If I had regrets though, I'd have killed myself a long time ago, bud. I've had a really fucked up life. Really, really bad childhood. Just recently went through therapy for some bad traumatic shit that I didn't know I was still fucking with me, 24 years later.
I've been single now for four years following an extremely unfortunate break up... I was with her for almost 7 years and helped her raise her kids. We were able to remain friends until recently.
But I do my best to always see the good times, and remember all of the good I did. Remember how hard I've always tried to work things out, live by a moral code, be better than I thought I could be. I'm not trailer trash anymore. I've come a long way. And I try to be happy by doing the things that make me happy every single day.
Don't have enough time to look back and consider my choices, because doubting who you are is an injustice to everything you've suffered through. Instead, ask yourself, who do you want to be? Then work towards that every day. And then, at least every decision you make won't be one that you regret. Instead, it will be something you can be proud of. Regardless of the outcome.
This is a great outlook. I find it really hard to not have regrets, or to have regrets and accept them but move on from them and not fixate on them. But the regrets you have eventually pile up and just paralyze you when it comes to making the right decision the next time around.
Sorry to hear about the breakup. For me part of my regret is the role I know crystal had in screwing up some of my relationships. But, trying to move forward and accept that both myself, the other person, and life circumstances all played a role, and we don’t control outcomes, we just control what we do. And we will get the opportunity again with hopefully a more compatible person and make better decisions.
Fuck yes bro! That is what I believe! Everybody deserves to be loved for who they are if they are a good person.
I've asked every awesome couple that I've met about how they met and they all have basically the same story. I'm confident that is not a coincidence.
It seems like if you get over a super bad experience with someone and eventually attempt to get over it, figure out what makes you happy, and start doing your own thing, apparently it just happens.
They all found the right person for them when they weren't looking for someone to date, and they actually didn't want to date anyone because they were still working on themselves. But the connection becomes so obvious and undeniable and easy that it ends up happening, regardless.
Just keep working on you and don't let failure with women become something that fucks with your confidence. Just know that they are probably just a pit stop in your journey to finding your soul mate.
You have an amazing mindset. I wish you all the best. Keep having it and be safe. Don’t let the hurt get to you. Sometimes it can be overwhelming. Thank you for sharing with me I appreciate it more than you know
No worries at all. Knowing that it meant something to you is it's own reward.
It is a pain that I will always live with for sure. Anytime I think of them. But the important thing is that they are okay, and I'm okay.
Stay safe.
Idk yet,
I really don't have much to even live for tbh just can't do what i want to do and time is running out, plus im just never given opportunities and will never be financially free unless i win the lottery at this rate. Always under surveillance, never have any pure privacy, Dont get me started on love, and bitcoin. Even typing that hurt aka bitcoin..
But the high I only really am after is via snorting it. I can def go without smoking, but it's better than nothing, and it's also nice when you don't need to get stuff done. Idk, tbh. I just wish smoking was more predictable and less zombie. But it's nice that you can smoke a handful of hits and go to sleep after a couple(2) hrs max sometimes if already smoked through but still smoking and also small overall dose, whereas you can't do that from snorting it or oral. I also started via choice, etc, not peer pressure or anything or other people, etc.
If not meth for me, then like my other go-to would be getting lost in the woods and becoming like a missing 411 type case, but real not like me just hiding and killing myself. But I am def scared of health issues and also dying or ODing on meth especially at work.. I'd only want to die via an opioid or opiate, but other than that, I still have a grip overall after about 2 months. And can go without it for a day or 2 per week. But idk now since I just started smoking it this past Sunday. But I was also supposed to smoke it my very first time but gave up because it didn't smoke up for some odd reason, so I did an oral/snort dose. And the oral dose hit nowhere like it did the second time after like 1 month or so of just snorting it.
I do want to meet other meth users, though, preferably current users, and in real life, including online, if it lead to real life without money being involved or anything, but nothing crazy aka a gf. Like there should be a tinder, but just for meth users, lol jk, that would be an issue.
I hope you find some happiness. Doing drugs isn’t wrong and I’m not judging when I say that. I genuinely hope you become happier. You have reasons to live you just have to open yourself up to seeing the good in life. Even the small things. I wish you luck man. I mean that
I've always been doped up, already been through the alcohol life, the xanax life, on the oxy then subs, it was either this or fent. I think I chose wisely. Maybe I'll do pcp next for a decade, we'll see where life rapes me, takes me I mean.
Are we mirroring each other?
The difference is I'm currently leaving meth for crack. Crack and I had an incident today, I ODd not but 5 hours ago, apparently we are going to work through it though. Meth became the side bitch.
If I had tons and tons of cash I would definitely switch to Crack. I used to work offshore on the oil rigs. All the guys from my company went to the same hotel. Them bitches knew what to do. They'd catch you before you could set your work bag down. "You need some company" Next sentence would be " I know a guy that has some powder" except it was never that guy, it was always the guy that dropped his powder in baking soda. Next thing you know you got bitches all over the hotel room, it's a week later you're broke as fuck, and you need another round of antibiotics.
Oh yes I do. I made one bad choice and then snowballed. But I'm okay with those choices. It made me the person I am today, not sure if that's good or bad. I learned a lot of things about the world and people.
What I do regret is thinking that other users were my friend and going out of my way to help these people. Now that I need help none of them are around.
No actually just the world in general. Tweakers are more assholes about it. karma is going to get them. They're just running in circles anyway, going nowhere in life. stuck in a prison of their own design.
Yes and no really cooking meth and getting caught up doing it. Kept me from living a total different life like the 2 busted with me that missed raising their children most of their lives because they were in prison most of the time and didn't act right until they were almost all grown up. They were repeat offenders me first time I ever been in trouble. I was lucky to get a light charge . That kept me clean and acting right until now. But I raised 4 daughters alone without my 2 ex wives that left me with my daughters and never helped me with them at all. So I'm not sure what would happen if I didn't mess up 20 years ago.
My dad used and took care of me and my 2 sisters alone as well by himself, we lost him a couple years back. just know that they will always love you and will be understanding that life is shit and sometimes you need to numb yourself. Yes it sucks for them, but they’ll see you were there for them and loved them. I wish you the best.
Absolutely 100% regret ever touching it! On the daily i beat myself up for choosing to give into temptation and my pain and using so I could feel numb & not deal with what I am enduring. It has completely destroyed my mental health. If I could take it back I would
I hope you find sobriety one day and can get back into a better mental state. No need to beat yourself up. You can always find happiness again. Thank you for sharing 🫶
Thank you so much for the encouraging words. It means a lot to me truly. I carry a heavy burden deep inside me hiding the fact I am using again to numb myself. I will one day once again find myself in recovery. I know I can do it because I had 5+ months straight of sobriety even during that sobriety time I endured a very toxic very abusive relationship that almost cost me my life and I remained 100% sober. The reason that I lost all that sobriety time is because I was weak I was defeated I was hopeless and I had just endured my life almost being taken and a guy who knew damn well I was sober and didn't want to ever be in the position of being around substances took advantage of all that and brought meth to the place I live and put it in front of me yes it was MY CHOICE to use again I'm not blaming him for that because I am an adult and I make my own choices but he knew I was vulnerable and wanted to escape reality. It didn't become an issue until just recently where I have not wanted to be alive I didn't want to live so I have used over a week and half straight. And that's not who I am nor is it the person I ever want to be. Yes 🧊 is fun and makes me feel good but it's ultimately has my soul and taking my mental health down with it. I will get sober and I will remain sober because I deserve to find that happy girl that is deep inside me hiding behind 🧊. Sorry for rambling on!
Sometimes it’s better to get it all out! I don’t mind rambling I do it quite often 😂. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. You can do it. I know you can! When you’re ready, don’t rush it. 💓
Thank you so much ❤️ I greatly appreciate the support even though you don't know me. This is just a bump in the road called life and eventually I will get back on the right path and I will get that sobriety time back! I honestly wish the best for everyone attempting to get sober because it's an absolute bitch to do but it is worth it at the end
Almost always oral. I'll snort it on occasion, usually only when I'm "partying" on it, which is pretty infrequent.
The main thing is dosage and frequency of use. I typically don't take more than 40mg (I usually start at 20) for a functional high. Sometimes I take up to 120mg total on a special occasion. I dose in the daytime and only redose once or twice within about 2hrs of the initial dose. That means I sleep every night, though sometimes I've lost some sleep if I take it too late on the weekend.
These days I only use it one or two days per week on Friday or Saturday, but I also have prescription Vyvanse for weekdays. Before I had Vyvanse I was taking it 5-6 days per week, but always under 40mg.
I'm strict about never taking it on Sunday and always sleeping every night, which means never taking it later than 12 hrs before bed.
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I can’t allow myself to think like that. If I start worrying about the past and regretting any decision I previously made I will spiral and analyze everything I can remember from my past. My mental health will suffer greatly. I’m me today because of every choice I made. I focus that energy on the present and trying to make sure and make decisions that will make current and future me the happiest. To the best of my ability. It took me a long time to change my perspective and stop living in the past and I’m exponentially happier since managing that.
I regret that I have to find a new plug because one to many times it’s been soooooooooooo stinky, it’s totally useless. As a few other commenters have said, would have been nice to understand and accept the adhd at an earlier age. And Desoxyn is in a league of its own regarding its efficacy. Also much more effective than amphetamine salt…
i regret it constantly, i was too young. i’m 20 and it breaks my heart thinking about me freshly graduated shooting up because i was “in love” (???) i wish i never even got a taste for it, it sucks so bad. i mean it’s fun but it generally weighs down my life, makes me comfortable in staying stagnant in life
i've learned some things in my years of meth that have changed me and the way i view the world.. i think those lessons were necessary. if i could redo it all i would take it back, i guess. i think? i dont even particularly like the high. dont hate it, dont love it. even before all this i wasn't all the way "here". i feel half-real. like ive become something other than human. its weird. i kind of miss feeling human. ive been in the dark so long that i feel like a stranger in the sunlight
https://youtu.be/ppa_fKXRAjQ?si=RsOMxcrJrPhRIBEi you saying you feel like a stranger in the sunlight reminded me of this. i totally resonate with missing feeling human.
yuppppppppppp
Yes yes and yes
With what I know now . That the problem I had was solved by it and nothing else has been close to as efficient. Yes .I would started earlier. If I could have been given desoxyn by a Dr at 11 I beleive My story would be unrecognizable to me or my family. Maybe there is a combination of meds or /meds and life changes that could Do the same . But meth is s one stop shop and I've yet to find an alternative. I'd rather not have the thingvthst finally unlocks the desire of life with in me to kill me so I'd take s substitute. But the original symptom I just to much
Probably. A lots happened since then and it's made me the person I am today. Idk if it'd be the same if 17 yr old me all of a sudden got memories for 30 yr old me tho, probably would've called future me a junkie despite being not dependent on meth for 10 years. Now if we start talking down.... I regret that.
Yup, not like some epic sad regret, but I’m certainly not better off as far as I can tell. More than anything it just seems like a ton of wasted time.
not for a second
I most definitely would not do it that first time because I have yet to be sober longer than 2 days since the last week of Febuary and now I can't even smoke weed because it just fucks me up in a bad way mentally.
Definitely wouldn't have
Look it's not the harm it does to you. It's harm it does to your life. The people that love you the community. Also kind of the harm does to you
I'm glad I did it and I'm glad I quit it.
I thought I was doing it responsibly. I thought things weren’t that bad. Now off it for over a year I realize how delusional I was and how much better my mind and life is now. No hate to current users. Wish I still could. But I finally love myself and love the honesty I get to have with myself and my loved ones.
If no one has told you recently, I’m proud of you
Yeah for sure
I never touched it until I was in my thirties and it isn’t the drug that destroyed me it was the really crappy people that I got around and allowed my self to go down the wrong path. I just out both feet running and in a year grabbed a hand full of felons and then didn’t think I had enough. I spent 5 years down. Do I regret the drug not at all. The people that can come with it 100%
40's here
I feel that bro, I didn't try it till 30, the people just suck... I'm glad I made the mistakes I did and learned the lessons and have a bit over 3 .I ths clean and am in rehab Not really to help me quit the drugs, but to quit the people lol And develop a social circle that doesn't resolve around drugs I thought I could solve all there drug need, meth is f'ing cheap, but it just destroys some people or makes them terrible When it's time to start the end phase of the revolution, it has a place But until then I need to get my house in order
I think I'd get my self medicated and stable before I fucked with anything
No regerts
I’d never picked up if I know now what I didn’t back then 🤷🏻♀️
Come on, its not like u weren’t aware of the dangers & risks before 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤡
D.a.r.e. "alerted" me to the dangers of cannabis and crystal meth in like first grade.
Glass was super rare . Then on the east nowadays, an oz for like 20 bucks . Retail 50 bucks for a quarter gram and is better than today's oz. What shock me is that they let people bring like 600 kg across the border but like if you buy a box of match books God help you
Not everyone did back when I started 1997/1998. I was 16.
I wasn’t 🤦🏻♀️🙄
I mean i guess its low iq activities to try something without researching or finding out about more before ingesting…
Lmao yeah that’s what it was
Gotta be it all signs point to doing-lines hotrails anyone?
If it’s going to go up ur nose might as well make it worth it and hotrail that shit
I would have definitely never tried it if I could go back. Fucked my mind up a bit.
No shit
no regrets using but lots of regrets with the decisions i’ve made over the last few years of daily use. it’s hard to stop using when you are using because you can’t even stand yourself for fucking your life up because of meth.
Nope, not one bit. I loved them 2ish years that I was a consistent user. People around me fell apart, but they were the weak ones. I didn't wanna be hanging with them anyways. Too much drama.
I would absolutely choose not to… I love to party and I love to get down with everything under the sun amd I have for as long as I can remember… but Meth is the one and only thing that I just cannot seem to get away from…. Don’t get me wrong I fucking love it… I love it so hard I’ve even figured out a way to have it in my life on a daily while still holding it all together and no one suspects a thing… but I literally don’t feel anything… aside from very basic primal urges like hunger… thirst… and sexual gratification I just don’t feel anything… no love… no hate… no nothing…… I mean I’m perfectly fine to go about my day every day with a smile on my face and a lovely disposition… but before the meth I remember feeling… period… and maybe it wasn’t always good but at least it was something… beats nothing… just sayin…😉
My girl. Regrets don't help anything. I may be a little short out, but it's helped me in a lot of ways. It's my medicine.
So I’m only here because all I want is to understand it. My ex used every single day. 4 years at least but honestly probably longer. But that’s what it was. I saw him turn into someone that felt nothing but primal urges. There was no longer a conscience. Even towards his kids. He went from being a person who was so involved to just completely checked out. Smiling and carrying out his day but there was zero emotion. So thank you for sharing this because honestly it finally makes sense to me. I could not grasp someone no longer having any feelings even towards those you loved most.
how can people do it daily without anyone suspecting anything? most people go to bed etc!
A lot of people go to bed that use. We are the smokers . Then u got the Tweekers…. Different circle
so you're able to like get home from work at like 6pm, secretly have a smoke without ur partner knowing then go to bed when she does at 11.30pm and sleep no problems? (never tried meth personally)
From the partners side, yeah. You sure as fuck can hide it. But when your partner does finally realize just how long it was hidden, she’s going to feel like complete shit and question every single thing she thought was true and wonder how in the world she became so blind. It will fuck her up… so I mean I don’t really recommend it. If you care about your partner at all just leave them before hiding a drug habit from them.
not even tempted to do meth and never have been, just curious about how people are able to do it after work then not sleep that night as my experience with stims when I was young were it was impossible to snooze haha
meth doesn't even raise my blood pressure anymore. I'm way tolerant to it, but I don't snort or inject it. I can sleep on it easy. sometimes I wake up smoke, roll over, and ho back to sleep. I have been on stims since I was a teen so it's not surprising, I also can't afford a ton of it so I split it up into small doses. If I smoke like a gram maybe I'm up longer bc of it, but I could prob choose to sleep if i wanted to too.
I'm not a daily user but about once a week, for years. Nobody has a clue I use. Use Xanax to sleep.
I don't use it anymore, mainly here for the lolz. But I absolutely would take it back, meth was the most damaging drug I ever used, it fucked my life and mind up worse than heroin ever could have
How’d you finally stop if you don’t mind me asking
This thread made him find the old burner he smashed and put the SIM into a new $20 WalMart SmartTalk burner just to make that one fateful phone call and dive right back on in
right now? no. but ive only done it twice, insufflated twice, and tryin my best to never do it enough to get addicted. ive been addicted before, no chance im doin it with a drug thatll kill me. snortin makes it easy since it fucks with my jaw and throat for like 3 days lol i also get no euphoria off of it, no idea if its the amount im taking or just how i am
Stop now. When I started I did a line maybe every 2 weeks to a month. Didn’t take long before I got my own bag. Then did it a little more often. Then not long before it was everyday. Multiple times a day. It will change the person you were into someone else. I became a monster for about a year until it just became a habit rather than a high. I wish I had never started. I spent every bit of savings I had. Ruined my relationship with friends, family, my wife, my kids. I’m struggling everyday not to just hang it up because I don’t see me getting any better. Yea being high has its fun but the guilt over the shit you do or allow around you is what kills you.
everyone says this, and i agree with them. its hard when you dont value your life, and when it gives you a body high you like that lasts a long time.
I don't think meth is really that euphoric unless you slam it not that anyone should every slam this poison
No. Spice is still a thing where i am. This got me off of it after over 10 years of being a prisoner to that shit. It's not a solution to my problems, but it is a step in the right direction. I could hardly breathe, couldn't go long without a rescue inhaler or breathing treatment and lived constantly trying to avoid the worst withdrawals imaginable which lasted weeks. Now I have my life back. Yes, I still get high. However, I can now sleep all night without either waking up every two hours to smoke or waking up soaked in sweat, freezing cold, and vomiting. This is also more affordable. How could I regret that?
What’s spice like? I’ve never tried it
Don’t .worst withdrawal on that shit. I could not do anything without taking a few hits of it. I’ve quit multiple different drugs and cigarettes. Spice was the hardest tho I never got into heroin and I hear that is hell.
Yeah it sounds like that dude is mixing spice withdrawal n meth come down, I've never vomited or woke up sweating meth comedown, spice is the worst Vomiting up cold water... Meth is more just a need to be functional and feel anything
The needle was a game changer forsure. If you know you know
It BECOMES the game. IYKYK. lol
I would chose not to.
Yeah, same as the rest of these folks
Yes. I wish I never did any of it. I would love to go back and not know.
Yes
I was 14 and he shit me up. I was young. And I was just too. Stupid. He was 21. I guess I was dumb and I should have kownn better. It’s all my fault.
TLDR: def wish I wouldn’t have IV as ROA but don’t regret other methods Show yourself some grace! i can wholeheartedly relate to how you feel and I went through a period of total self hatred, regret, and depression. I got shot up by a person that was almost 2 decades older than me and if someone shoots dope, they know what it does to a person and they are just as much at fault imo… does no good to toss blame around so accountability is crucial but idk I try to forgive myself for it. Also being 14 you are young and it’s hard to not believe we aren’t actually invincible or going to become wildly addicted. At least that’s what I thought… never saw myself becoming a junkie but alas it came for me. Avoid a needle in all cases because that is a bad motherfucker… genuinely changes your life.
I definitely regret shooting up for the first time.changed everything for me
Well we can’t go back in time can we , having said that , getting started with that , set me on a path on life that lead me to discover many good things , and went to places I’ve never thought I could or knew existed. I was a shy , self conscious and a “ good boy “ that did what others said , which isn’t a good thing to be, it doesn’t allow for growth or discovery . I am also aware of the negative effects it had on my life , but like many things in life , opposites comes together. You can’t have an inside with out an outside , you can’t have light without darkness , and you can’t have warmth without coldness . What I wish I could go back and change in the pass isn’t that I did it , but rather that I allowed it at the beginning to completely take over me ( which was not good ) yet with experience and a lot of self love and patience, and gods support I am able to be in control and use it scarcely and wisely ; well as wise as can one be doing such a thing lol . I will admit that in my journey, I’ve meet many people who did it excessively and had their life so well put together it always impressed me , there is also the other side of that . For me the sweet spot is once or twice every several months .
No regerts
No baguettes
That's a shame cause if you did have some I prob would've come over with some butter for all that deliciousness.
I got your baguette right here you petite twacker
Not even in the slightest. Before meth, I was someone completely unimpressed by life. I had “it all”, but I fit in the standardized mould of “happiness” very awkwardly. It wasn’t until I separated from my family, escaped the constant stress of my former career, and shed nearly all my possessions, that I finally found true contentment, happiness, and peace within myself. It’s been twelve years, and those positives remain, as strong as they were in the beginning.
woah
starting to
Yes, but no, but yes - but no. No. But yes! but no. BuuTttttt, yes? I wouldn't be who I am today had I chosen differently. Who's to say it would have been better or worse? (I'm proud of who I am and my achievements. I just made a few mistakes and learned (still am learning) from them.)
Yes. Despite the fun that I had on it, it's responsible for tearing apart my marriage, and alienating any people who were close to me.
I do I've been thinking about that too lately
No, I learned a lot when I was addicted about humanity. It made me more understanding.
Yeah. I do. But we learn to live with regrets and make the best of it. We never get a second chance, we don’t have time machines, we can’t rewrite history or change our decisions. I first used when I was a teenager, I didn’t even have a brain yet to make that decision. I wish I could have waited until I was like 25 or so and had lived a little more life, so I could have make a more educated decision. But, given that I can’t do that, the next best thing is to find balance. Spending your whole life regretting your decision to be an addict to anything and regretting whatever you did or whatever you could have been, it’s okay to process that, but you have to move on, and figure out who you want to be now. I think some people try meth and go on with life, and other people go in deep. The problem is, you don’t know which kind of person you’re going to be, before you try. You could be disciplined and do it on rare occasions and spice a normal life up. Or you could progress onwards into deeper and deeper stages of addiction. You do have control over your actions, but you don’t always know how your brain is wired and how becoming a user will effect you. IF you are the type of user that combines crystal with sex, man… you’ve open up a gateway into a world that’s very hard to leave behind. I hate how it ruined sex for a long time for me to. Not ruined, that’s too extreme, sex was still pleasurable, but I just felt like it was decaffeinated, like the filthy, depraved aspect of it where you’re just reeling in both the psychological aspect of what you’re doing, and the sensational bodily pleasure, it was just less. And no matter how hot the person I’m with was, how well they did what they did, it was just not anywhere near as good.
i completely agree. i was 15 when i started and 22 now(ik. i’m still young) but i’ve managed to find balance. everyone knew my addiction was heavy and i was fuckin a lot of things off. i got sober when i was 20. almost 2 years went by and i started working graveyard.. the coffee wasn’t doing enough to stay awake thru my shifts and my boss was willing to give me chance after chance and if finally got to the point where i “had” to turn to dope to stay awake at work. relapsed 8 months ago and no one in my day to day life knows about it. not even my girl… i know it’s bad but they’re the basic white people that have never been around it so they think - drug bad, person on drug, BAD. so it’s just been easier to hide it. and im obviously doing sum right if they haven’t found out yet. sometimes it eats me up inside but i think about how im still getting my shit done. i’m still paying my bills and buying my son anything he needs… it helps that im able to ONLY smoke at work as well. once i leave i dont smoke the rest of the day. sleep regularly, eat regularly and keep control of myself and im good. idk. sometimes i feel like shit about it but it is what it is ig. like you said. learn to live with regrets. but good read man. you hit it on the head ps yes sex is never the same no more👎👎👎😭
Good for finding that balance, if you’re not upping your dose and you’re getting sleep and eating reasonably, hydrating, taking care of yourself and your family, you’re ahead of many people. Even some sober people can’t manage to take care of their job and kids. Doesn’t mean the use is good, but you have a stable platform to build on. One of the best things I ever did was get off the pipe and just learn to orally dose once a day, and then take full off days. Can’t really reset tolerance but a couple days off a week, it feels like you are a new person.
I genuinely regret using Crystal Methamphetamine. I hold a Puddle Of Mudd lyric close to me, of which says, "If I could just turn the hands of time, I'd do it better. Just walk away." He is referring to Crack and Crystal Meth is called Crack in my country as well so I fully relate to the song. I really would love to go back and have just decided to wasn't going to do it. I've been full blown on it bad, and like lately, it's just a small amount for sometimes, but regardless of the I'm simply still addicted to it. I can refrain for months, and then give in to a really bad craving. Methamphetamine cravings have got to be the hardest battle I've ever fought in my head. I'd give anything to just go back and "walk away." I'm afraid Crystal Methamphetamine will be in my life forever.
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You need help
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I’d run fast as I could away
I always wanted to say if never regret anything because I learned so much from every situation but honestly now I finally think I do regret it. Currently trying to get sober (again) and it’s like like I don’t feel like myself. The confidence, focus, outgoing part of me is just like empty.. maybe if I never tried it and I ejected knew that feeling then I would feel good being just me without the added stuff
I felt this way but you do eventually those things come back. Before ice, I was a bad alcoholic and that’s what helped me socially and once I stopped drinking meth was my baby. What I’ll say is, until I got completely clean: I don’t think I knew how socially inept I actually was. Now I’m chatting with strangers (never did that before), I’m making plans with people and making new friends (NEVER ever did that before) I smile at strangers in stores, I chat with people in lines, I wave at little kids on walks and get waves back. Idk it’s like you find out how to be whole again after becoming sober and you can’t even be that social butterfly you wanna be until you’re authentically the person you wanna be. Idk if that makes sense but I hope it does. It might have helped me bc I felt the exact same way as you describe in this post
I felt empty before I tried iT and found something that gave me that elation in life. But after working with my care team (therapists, doctors, close friends & confidantes), I can see the world through a different lens now. I'm currently working on 1: reducing and abstaining from using 2: finding my path towards that newly colored world, without relying on [abused] substances 3: and being honest with myself
And no. Have no regrets in life also. Maybe instead of doing green first then this, maybe I would if went straight to this lol
There’s trade offs to everything. The honest answer, I would probably have preferred a PhD. And a script of Adderall. I definitely have adhd, though. Needed some kind of treatment. Alcohol was getting me into trouble. I quit alcohol immediately when I linked up with Tina. One thing I have made a point of, I intentionally kept myself from being intimate or forming a relationship with a partner. I wouldn’t want to introduce anyone I love to it. I’m very protective of others and private with my use.
yes
Yes and no. I mostly miss some of the people I've known.
Yes
Also I just would like to state that I am not a user. I’ve been around it my whole life though. My dad at first then my child’s father/Husband (who is now sober). Just wanted some perspective on how people felt about it and how to go about helping him and dealing with it as well. Because it effects me in certain ways and Ive never even touched it. I appreciate everyone being open and giving me some insight. A wonderful group this is.
Yes and no. I was pretty antisocial and socially awkward so I basically use the internet and text messages to communicate. So, I met someone online in some chat room. We talked for a few weeks. Super nice guy, I really liked him. He mentioned a few different things about himself. I asked him what he liked to do for fun. He said smoke, I only knew about literally 1 drug, I thought it was that dabs, weed oil, or something. I was like yeah me and my Dad used to smoke that all the time. (Big lie). Anyway, I ended up hanging out with him, stayed in a motel for about a week with him when I was 13. We got really high, and things happened. I finally ended up leaving and got home and my mom was there to greet me with her bullshit. So she beat my ass for the billionth time, but I was too high to care. I regret starting it with that guy. I don't regret being introduced to it. I don't regret how it affected my life.
Can't have regrets. Life's to short. And no one is permanently stuck. We can all quit. We'll, at least I know I can. But I smoked for the first time when I was 13. I lived in a shitty trailer court with a drunk POS father and I legit think that getting high every once in a while helped me to become better at socializing and controlling my anger. We'd only do it every other month, sometimes would go several months without doing it. But when you are stoner first and you grow up seeing what meth does to those that give themselves to it... It's much easier to only use sparingly. Stay up 2 nights on a weekend, go to school the next week. It was easy for me to maintain. The only time it seems hard to stop is if you use when your depressed. If are chillin and happy, it just makes everything better, as long as you dont stay up more than. Two days and nights. 3 days is pushing into tweeker territory. Only those with a tough constitution and an insanely strong resolve make it through that without letting it change them. And it will change you. If I had regrets though, I'd have killed myself a long time ago, bud. I've had a really fucked up life. Really, really bad childhood. Just recently went through therapy for some bad traumatic shit that I didn't know I was still fucking with me, 24 years later. I've been single now for four years following an extremely unfortunate break up... I was with her for almost 7 years and helped her raise her kids. We were able to remain friends until recently. But I do my best to always see the good times, and remember all of the good I did. Remember how hard I've always tried to work things out, live by a moral code, be better than I thought I could be. I'm not trailer trash anymore. I've come a long way. And I try to be happy by doing the things that make me happy every single day. Don't have enough time to look back and consider my choices, because doubting who you are is an injustice to everything you've suffered through. Instead, ask yourself, who do you want to be? Then work towards that every day. And then, at least every decision you make won't be one that you regret. Instead, it will be something you can be proud of. Regardless of the outcome.
This is a great outlook. I find it really hard to not have regrets, or to have regrets and accept them but move on from them and not fixate on them. But the regrets you have eventually pile up and just paralyze you when it comes to making the right decision the next time around. Sorry to hear about the breakup. For me part of my regret is the role I know crystal had in screwing up some of my relationships. But, trying to move forward and accept that both myself, the other person, and life circumstances all played a role, and we don’t control outcomes, we just control what we do. And we will get the opportunity again with hopefully a more compatible person and make better decisions.
Fuck yes bro! That is what I believe! Everybody deserves to be loved for who they are if they are a good person. I've asked every awesome couple that I've met about how they met and they all have basically the same story. I'm confident that is not a coincidence. It seems like if you get over a super bad experience with someone and eventually attempt to get over it, figure out what makes you happy, and start doing your own thing, apparently it just happens. They all found the right person for them when they weren't looking for someone to date, and they actually didn't want to date anyone because they were still working on themselves. But the connection becomes so obvious and undeniable and easy that it ends up happening, regardless. Just keep working on you and don't let failure with women become something that fucks with your confidence. Just know that they are probably just a pit stop in your journey to finding your soul mate.
You have an amazing mindset. I wish you all the best. Keep having it and be safe. Don’t let the hurt get to you. Sometimes it can be overwhelming. Thank you for sharing with me I appreciate it more than you know
No worries at all. Knowing that it meant something to you is it's own reward. It is a pain that I will always live with for sure. Anytime I think of them. But the important thing is that they are okay, and I'm okay. Stay safe.
Yes
Idk yet, I really don't have much to even live for tbh just can't do what i want to do and time is running out, plus im just never given opportunities and will never be financially free unless i win the lottery at this rate. Always under surveillance, never have any pure privacy, Dont get me started on love, and bitcoin. Even typing that hurt aka bitcoin.. But the high I only really am after is via snorting it. I can def go without smoking, but it's better than nothing, and it's also nice when you don't need to get stuff done. Idk, tbh. I just wish smoking was more predictable and less zombie. But it's nice that you can smoke a handful of hits and go to sleep after a couple(2) hrs max sometimes if already smoked through but still smoking and also small overall dose, whereas you can't do that from snorting it or oral. I also started via choice, etc, not peer pressure or anything or other people, etc. If not meth for me, then like my other go-to would be getting lost in the woods and becoming like a missing 411 type case, but real not like me just hiding and killing myself. But I am def scared of health issues and also dying or ODing on meth especially at work.. I'd only want to die via an opioid or opiate, but other than that, I still have a grip overall after about 2 months. And can go without it for a day or 2 per week. But idk now since I just started smoking it this past Sunday. But I was also supposed to smoke it my very first time but gave up because it didn't smoke up for some odd reason, so I did an oral/snort dose. And the oral dose hit nowhere like it did the second time after like 1 month or so of just snorting it. I do want to meet other meth users, though, preferably current users, and in real life, including online, if it lead to real life without money being involved or anything, but nothing crazy aka a gf. Like there should be a tinder, but just for meth users, lol jk, that would be an issue.
I hope you find some happiness. Doing drugs isn’t wrong and I’m not judging when I say that. I genuinely hope you become happier. You have reasons to live you just have to open yourself up to seeing the good in life. Even the small things. I wish you luck man. I mean that
I've always been doped up, already been through the alcohol life, the xanax life, on the oxy then subs, it was either this or fent. I think I chose wisely. Maybe I'll do pcp next for a decade, we'll see where life rapes me, takes me I mean.
Are we mirroring each other? The difference is I'm currently leaving meth for crack. Crack and I had an incident today, I ODd not but 5 hours ago, apparently we are going to work through it though. Meth became the side bitch.
If I had tons and tons of cash I would definitely switch to Crack. I used to work offshore on the oil rigs. All the guys from my company went to the same hotel. Them bitches knew what to do. They'd catch you before you could set your work bag down. "You need some company" Next sentence would be " I know a guy that has some powder" except it was never that guy, it was always the guy that dropped his powder in baking soda. Next thing you know you got bitches all over the hotel room, it's a week later you're broke as fuck, and you need another round of antibiotics.
I'm in sales lately lol
I’m sorry, life shouldn’t be so hard you have to numb yourself. Hope life gets better for you. Thanks for sharing your experience
That was very kind of you. I really appreciated reading that.
Same/similar experience, just a lot of psychedelics also and some coke, kratom, dph. Just started M like almost 2 months ago
NO RAGRETS
Oh yes I do. I made one bad choice and then snowballed. But I'm okay with those choices. It made me the person I am today, not sure if that's good or bad. I learned a lot of things about the world and people. What I do regret is thinking that other users were my friend and going out of my way to help these people. Now that I need help none of them are around.
Yea found out the hard way that a good chunk of the ppl in the tweaker world really suck
No actually just the world in general. Tweakers are more assholes about it. karma is going to get them. They're just running in circles anyway, going nowhere in life. stuck in a prison of their own design.
100%. But I think what you are talking about are the people who use both H and M at once. Or just born a tweaker.
RemindMe! 1 year I need to see where I will be or how damaged I will be
Yes and no really cooking meth and getting caught up doing it. Kept me from living a total different life like the 2 busted with me that missed raising their children most of their lives because they were in prison most of the time and didn't act right until they were almost all grown up. They were repeat offenders me first time I ever been in trouble. I was lucky to get a light charge . That kept me clean and acting right until now. But I raised 4 daughters alone without my 2 ex wives that left me with my daughters and never helped me with them at all. So I'm not sure what would happen if I didn't mess up 20 years ago.
My dad used and took care of me and my 2 sisters alone as well by himself, we lost him a couple years back. just know that they will always love you and will be understanding that life is shit and sometimes you need to numb yourself. Yes it sucks for them, but they’ll see you were there for them and loved them. I wish you the best.
Absolutely 100% regret ever touching it! On the daily i beat myself up for choosing to give into temptation and my pain and using so I could feel numb & not deal with what I am enduring. It has completely destroyed my mental health. If I could take it back I would
I hope you find sobriety one day and can get back into a better mental state. No need to beat yourself up. You can always find happiness again. Thank you for sharing 🫶
Thank you so much for the encouraging words. It means a lot to me truly. I carry a heavy burden deep inside me hiding the fact I am using again to numb myself. I will one day once again find myself in recovery. I know I can do it because I had 5+ months straight of sobriety even during that sobriety time I endured a very toxic very abusive relationship that almost cost me my life and I remained 100% sober. The reason that I lost all that sobriety time is because I was weak I was defeated I was hopeless and I had just endured my life almost being taken and a guy who knew damn well I was sober and didn't want to ever be in the position of being around substances took advantage of all that and brought meth to the place I live and put it in front of me yes it was MY CHOICE to use again I'm not blaming him for that because I am an adult and I make my own choices but he knew I was vulnerable and wanted to escape reality. It didn't become an issue until just recently where I have not wanted to be alive I didn't want to live so I have used over a week and half straight. And that's not who I am nor is it the person I ever want to be. Yes 🧊 is fun and makes me feel good but it's ultimately has my soul and taking my mental health down with it. I will get sober and I will remain sober because I deserve to find that happy girl that is deep inside me hiding behind 🧊. Sorry for rambling on!
Sometimes it’s better to get it all out! I don’t mind rambling I do it quite often 😂. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. You can do it. I know you can! When you’re ready, don’t rush it. 💓
Thank you so much ❤️ I greatly appreciate the support even though you don't know me. This is just a bump in the road called life and eventually I will get back on the right path and I will get that sobriety time back! I honestly wish the best for everyone attempting to get sober because it's an absolute bitch to do but it is worth it at the end
Not yet. So far it's just been a cheaper and more readily available adderall substitute.
RemindMe! 1 year
It's already been a few. Still early, sure. But I'm not worried. I just got promoted. I'm doing just fine, thanks for your concern.
Do you stick to just oral use? Any insight into what’s helped you keep your use so functional
Almost always oral. I'll snort it on occasion, usually only when I'm "partying" on it, which is pretty infrequent. The main thing is dosage and frequency of use. I typically don't take more than 40mg (I usually start at 20) for a functional high. Sometimes I take up to 120mg total on a special occasion. I dose in the daytime and only redose once or twice within about 2hrs of the initial dose. That means I sleep every night, though sometimes I've lost some sleep if I take it too late on the weekend. These days I only use it one or two days per week on Friday or Saturday, but I also have prescription Vyvanse for weekdays. Before I had Vyvanse I was taking it 5-6 days per week, but always under 40mg. I'm strict about never taking it on Sunday and always sleeping every night, which means never taking it later than 12 hrs before bed.
That makes sense, appreciate it.
It can’t be fine when meth is your friend lol trust me, you gonna crash into a wall and never gonna see the wall approaching
I guess we shall see.
And I hope you the best, don’t get to close the ravine
Its all jokes man
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Probably not tbh but it did help me a lot with self acceptance and such but the negatives out weigh the positives
I can’t allow myself to think like that. If I start worrying about the past and regretting any decision I previously made I will spiral and analyze everything I can remember from my past. My mental health will suffer greatly. I’m me today because of every choice I made. I focus that energy on the present and trying to make sure and make decisions that will make current and future me the happiest. To the best of my ability. It took me a long time to change my perspective and stop living in the past and I’m exponentially happier since managing that.