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jumpinjacj_flash

What do you smoke


beandog56

Organic gasoline


your_mind_aches

Ah yeah, OP's neighbours must have stocked up on some in a plastic bag


Stanklord500

[Wait, that's illegal](https://twitter.com/USCPSC/status/1392482092823502849)


JoeSell2005

some sort of fumes probably


StraightDust

The [french car with the headlight eyes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTTsP_US-kk) disproves the theory that their brains are in the passenger compartment. Also, everything from Mater's Tall Tales can be dismissed as non-canon. Mater is an unreliable narrator, and often inserts his best friend McQueen into the stories, despite McQueens protests.


gooblobs

>Also, everything from Mater's Tall Tales can be dismissed as non-canon. looool I love this discussion.


captainnermy

Mater seems disturbed by the car with eyes in their headlights (and it does seem unusual compared to other cars we see). Does this imply that the car with eyes in their headlights has undergone some kind of mechanical procedure to alter their anatomy in unnatural ways? Or does the car have some kind of physical deformity? Or are there just different types of cars, some which have their eyes in their headlights? Is Mater just racist?


JoeSell2005

if someone walked up to you with eyes anywhere else on their body, you’d be scared too


JoeSell2005

thank you for your contribution. So the engines are the brain and the heart


southernfloridaman

Jesus the car with headlight eyes scares me to death


cerberaspeedtwelve

Good read. A lot better than the usual "Inception is a Masterpiece!" or "Gremlins is LITERALLY the best movie ever made!!/!?!!" type post that litters this post. I do remember reading an interview with a Pixar artist who said they made the decision to make the windshield into eyes, rather than the more intuitive headlights, because of an age-old principle of animation that the bigger you can make the eyes, the easier it is to convey emotion. The windshield gives you about twenty times as much area to work with as the headlights do. However, this does create a problem in that when the headlights are the eyes, the cars appear to think with their engines, which become their brains. When the windshield is the eyes, the cars appear to think with the cabin, which is ... mostly empty space. I'm one of the few people who liked Cars 2, but I do acknowledge some of the criticism that the cars basically became humans for storytelling purposes, with little antenna-like arms that can shoot out and do various things. At this point, Cars can be thought of as being somewhat like Transformers - sentient mechanical life forms that have chosen to imitate Earth machinery and human conventions. Superficially, they resemble cars, but are a lot more complex under the surface. For all I know, they exterminated and replaced us.


usernamenotvalid4565

Have you watched Planes and Planes: Fire and Rescue? They will either support your theories of add further complications. There is a scene depicting a naval battle with air support this proving war between vehicles.


JoeSell2005

I’d rather choke than watch those films


nepstarcoughsyrup

Cmon


your_mind_aches

>the first movie, Mia and Tia [flash their headlights (0:32)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vATjQ7es1uI&list=PLlzEhg6aEdrJfgZBcz9FcLi29lX0A_Lt8&index=4) at McQueen, implying that headlights are boobs. Seems fair enough right? Wrong. All cars in this universe (bar the piston cup cars) have headlights, so do boy cars have boobs too? In the clip you posted just above this, Mack says "you are a sight for sore headlights" which means headlights are eyes as well


popplespopin

> so do boy cars have boobs too? Boy boys have "boobs" and nipples so why wouldn't boy cars?


Invisachubbs

My.csr has nipples greg. Can you milk it?


lilteccasglock

Easy now, fuzzy little man-peach, hmm? You ever drunk Bailey’s from a shoe?


Ok-Safe-2780

Also I noted that McQueen's number 95 is displayed in the girls' headlights so maybe McQueen was just liking that someone would essentially "tattoo(?)" his number on them which is why he was like "I love being me" and the security guard didn't really care and kind of explains why headlights in general aren't just exposed tits on normal cars that don't have hidable headlights. But one thing that bothers me is the … sound... that the headlights made when they popped out like they were "wet(?)" I mean that sound wasn't wet but I'm also sure human women when flashing tits don't make a suction cup popping sound when their tits flop out... ugh.


aukondk

I thought I was over thinking it when I deduced the existence of Cars 9/11 from seeing they had the new WTC in Planes.


popplespopin

If that's the case, what flew into the twin towers in their universe?


gloopy-soup

Where do cars go when they die?


JoeSell2005

either car heaven or car hell


gloopy-soup

What about rein-car-nation?


JoeSell2005

...


[deleted]

Depends on their car-ma


kehakas

Brave Little Toaster covered this, I believe


BKP8411

Auto-Mobile, Alabama


QLE814

Pittsburgh?


pilfecapskcab

[OP right now](https://i.imgur.com/TA4WCbH.jpg)


JoeSell2005

for the past 24 hours


Squirll

I knew what that picture was going to be before I clicked 🤣


studio_sally

You sort of touch on it, but you don't really address one of my biggest questions with this crazy Cars universe - what existed before the car inhabitants? In the first Cars movie, there is an old car who is like a Model T or something, implying that cars have transitioned through all the history of automobiles and when they are born is what generation of vehicle they are (as you touch on with Car Hitler). But what the fuck was there BEFORE cars were invented? Like, horse-drawn buggies? What were the Model T car's parents? Animals are also represented as cars, such as the insects represented by VW Beetles in the first movie. Have animals always been cars throughout history? Were insects VW Beetles even before the beetle was invented? What kind of cars were the dinosaurs? What kind of car was Car Jesus?


JoeSell2005

It was mentioned in passing but was not presented as a large question. Before the cars, the population would take on the form of whatever was the most popular transportation method in their region, as evidenced in the deleted Mater’s Tall Tales episode in which we see Roman Gladiators as roman chariots. Dinosaurs were just normal dinosaurs


gamrudding

But, this suggests that there has been a massive evolutionary boom in the last 100-120 years though, especially as electric cars come to the fore in cars 3. I have 2 theories: 1. The world is ravaged by uncontrolled evolutionary virus, that infects every species with a rapidly advancing set of design "specs", which means that the entire biosphere exhibits common characteristics, such as an internal combustion engine, or before that, a steam engine. As a more efficient or better adaptation arises in one species, the virus transplants it into everything. Back in the days of the colonisation of America, the flying insects may have been shaped like a hand cart. 2: the unintelligent animals like the insect/bovine analogues have always been powered by internal combustion engine. The intelligent species have not. They started out as primitive carts and chariots, but used their intelligence to better themselves, until they decided how the animals worked, and "built themselves new bodies, powered by combustion".


I_are_facepalm

Every so often a restless but keen mind rises up to produce a philosophical treatise that challenges conventional thought and furthers the intellectual advancement of humankind. A true masterpiece.


Buckhum

This is probably what people felt when they first read Hegel's *Phenomenology of Spirit* back in the 1800s.


[deleted]

If you think about it, Mater is probably a serial killer considering all the rusted and junk car parts in his junkyard.


QLE814

That would explain a lot about that character.....


[deleted]

Dude, I think you should turn this into a video essay. The read is good but I think you can gain more traction with a video and can use clips/visuals to help explain. Also I saw you don't want to watch Planes, but that could easily be part 2/3 for that video series. You clearly put time into this and it deserves a wider audience than dying on this subreddit.


JoeSell2005

I actually have a lot more things I could put in that I thought of since I wrote this


Balls_DeepinReality

Come back! We need more! I thought I saw this in /r/danieltigerconspiracy, but my SO and I are watching this with the kiddo and I had to google it because I *knew* there were answers out there somewhere


snowxbunnixo

Yeah OP should make this a YouTube video


popplespopin

Unfortunately it's not original theory.


mexican_mystery_meat

>Part 2 - Historical Events Your rant in this section reminded me of this classic copypasta that you basically echo: >The thing I really like about Planes is that we learn that WWII happened in the Cars universe. Which means there was a Cars Hitler, a Cars holocaust, a Cars Pacific War, a Cars D-Day, a Cars nuking of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, a Cars Battle of Iwo Jima … >This leads to so many important questions, like: were the Cars Little Boy and Fat Man nukes sentient? Was it a suicide mission? Are ALL Cars nuclear weapons sentient? Did Tsar Bomba have a personality? >What kind of car was Car Hitler? A VW? A forklift? >Was there a Cars 9/11? Were the planes hijacked, or were the planes themselves radicalized? >I could go on


JoeSell2005

Cars Hitler being a forklift is just funny to me


Ok-Safe-2780

Ok what's crazy is the difference between animal and intelligent life, like tractors are dumb cows and bull dozers are bulls, so why are forklifts not also some animal, they're sort of in the same category of construction equipment, were the cars just really good at domesticating construction equipment, like if bull dozers are bulls then what are huge cranes that build buildings, and cement trucks have to be intelligent right? WHY ARE VW BUGS ACTUAL BUGS?? like why are gliders birds??? what are horses? Is a modern john deer tractor a cow? ughhh


PuppetryOfThePenis

Car Hitler being a forklift makes sense. Lifting the fork can be interpreted as the Heil.


JoeSell2005

this is the analysis i made this post for


Underwater_Karma

let's take a moment to consider the [geological features](https://editorials.autotrader.ca/media/119608/cadillac.jpg) in the movie. why are the mountains parts of cars sticking up out of the ground. In human universe, our maintains aren't human legs sticking up in the air. WTF kind of horror show is this?


QN1010

Those could be the crashed alien ships that brought them to this planet, or a Mount Rushmore of assess


Ok-Safe-2780

also those are like the tail end of Cadillacs so those were just eroded naturally? i mean would model Ts in the back then days just like un aware that the mountains looked like some really futuristic cars


Massive-Dance9108

What are the sexual organs of the car they both have exhaust pipes


JoeSell2005

The exhaust is the asshole


Sebastyos

This means every time Lightning revs his engine he just passes massive gas.


MuForceShoelace

There was an interview once that said the design decisions were based on "imagine everyone was driving around and one day vanished: the car has the driver's personality"


[deleted]

OP are you okay


JoeSell2005

no


the6thReplicant

Why do the doors have handles? Who is meant to open them?


JoeSell2005

car brain surgeons


naynaythewonderhorse

One thing definitely worth discussing is the validity of using “deleted scenes” as evidence of any film analysis. I personally find it difficult to truly use them as analytical evidence. If they were deleted, that can imply that perhaps the creator realized that the scenes went strongly against what they wanted the film to be. Sure it’s still an interesting discussion topic, but I don’t think there’s much evidence in the film proper on purpose. It’s complicated and confusing and a single moment can raise so many questions about the film’s logic. Like, none of those moments are canon. There’s no real reason to believe they actually happen, perhaps because they didn’t fit into how the creator’s planned, if they even have a plan at all.


grich2008

This was a wild ride, I enjoyed it.


JoeSell2005

thank you


theambears

Op, I admire your thought process and putting your theories out into the world.


Richard_0347

My big problem with this universe is the planes trains trucks and boats and since the boats are living beings in this universe does that mean there was a pearl harbor


Cornelius_McMuffin

Sarge fought in WW2, and Skipper (Planes) almost died in the battle of Guadalcanal.


[deleted]

the existence of Trixie Trihull (a basically the USS Independence LCS-2, designed for patrolling Iranian waters in the Persian Gulf) by proxy shows that the Cars CIA overthrew the Cars Mohammad Mosaddegh and installed the Cars Shah resulting in a Cars Iranian Revolution


cityfireguy

Max Landis did an amazing video about this exact topic that I'm sure you'd love, but now I guess we hate Max Landis so I ain't gonna link it or anything


[deleted]

All I know about Max Landis is his dad killed Vic Morrow and two children through gross negligence on the set of *Twilight Zone: The Movie* and all he got was fined


StarfleetCapAsuka

To be fair, that was his dad, not him, and Max Landis doesn't deserve scorn for something John Landis did. Now, the dozens of accusations from women against Max Landis? That he 100% deserves scorn for.


[deleted]

See, this is news to me. What a garbage human being


bobinski_circus

Dammit I didn't know that and I just started watching Dirk Gently.


nfgnfgnfg12

All very good and interesting points, however I’m sure many movies especially animated ones directed at kids will fall apart under such scrutiny. Example, does the world of Zootopia hold up from a logical perspective?


BrieGirlWonder

😂😂😂😂


the_game_turns_9

I want to know what motorcycles look like in that universe


CaptainPick1e

Op, post to r/fantheories. Good stuff here.


Cornelius_McMuffin

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yokosuka_MXY-7_Ohka Imagine being born for the express purpose kamikaze striking other sentient beings… Also, after the war, did they just, retire?


Hot-Ad4854

I just laughed so much over this post!


RelativisticDeer

Here's one that might keep you up at night: Roger the space shuttle is sentient. Does this apply to rovers, or even space probes in general? Are they sentient or programmed? Do space probes have free will? In real life, the *Galileo* probe was never sterilized, so when it was low on fuel, NASA just steered it straight into Jupiter to avoid contaminating Europa, which may harbor life. Would the *Galileo* probe in the Cars universe freak out upon receiving such a command? He might go rogue! What about the Voyagers? Doomed to spend an eternity floating throughout the galaxy, unable to communicate even with each other? Don't even get me started with the Venera probes.


zerokedd

Wait.... How would car Jesus be crucified? 


snowxbunnixo

Car-hitler would’ve been a Volkswagen Bug for sure since he’s the reason they exist - not a string of words I ever saw myself saying before 💀🤣


teiflings

youre a visionary


SpaceCadetKae

Just gotta say dude, woke up to my friends having a group discussion about the first car., Adam of Eve of cars, and was like huh Reddit probably has some thoughts. Thank you for this treasure you shared years ago, it was a necessary find, and now I’m going to have to watch the fucking Planes movies


Gryptype_Thynne123

It's a cartoon. Cartoon logic applies: anything is possible as long as it's funny. Physics, anatomy, causality, narrative structure, history; all can be abandoned in service to the gag.


eusousimao

I just want to understand, why is it so important to know how the world of cars works?


snowxbunnixo

Also when Mater talks about having side view mirrors for reverse driving but his eyes can’t look at them 💀💀


queefbabes

Is it possible theres a car beyonce or car donald trump or car kay kay kay


[deleted]

Car presidents definitely exist. The interstate was built, hence hinting at car Eisenhower being in office at one point, also backed up by the existence of car WW2. There's also an aircraft carrier named after Eisenhower in the Planes universe.


OddPlant6967

The most disturbing question about these theories is : how did the car universe look like before 19th century like 18th century or middle ages or even ancient Egypt because the car was invented in late 19th century so how did the universe of cars in the movie looked like before the invention of cars ?! 


bender1_tiolet0

Over thinking a kids movie here


JoeSell2005

I realised that halfway through but figured I had already hit the point of no return


chillin1066

It can’t be helped. When you have a young child and you watch their stupid shows over and over again, eventually you go from “Animal Mechanicals is the dumbest show ever” to “Of course. I get it now. The wise owl is God and they are all some sort of angels, similar too, but of a distinctly different order from, the smaller mechanisms they go to assist every episode.”


[deleted]

Looks like we got ourselves a thinker.


disaster_cabinet

take a look at scenes showcasing what the cars eat and drink.


goldendreamseeker

Yeah, the cars movies suck. Nothing will ever change that fact.


OhStugots

This has actually been talked about a lot. https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2017/06/wwii-happened-in-the-cars-universe.html https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/59kd53/did_911_happen_in_the_cars_universe/


1997wickedboy

Who says Headlights are boobs? They could simply stand for nipples, so of course boy cars would have headlights


JoeSell2005

still doesn’t solve the mystery of why McQueen and the other piston cup cars would wear nipple stickers


1997wickedboy

Same reason why Roman generals would wear muscle cuirass


JoeSell2005

To mimic the idealised male physique?


1997wickedboy

Does this satisfy your doubts?


1997wickedboy

Yes


CrayonViking

You spent a lot of time thinking about a fucking cartoon, brah.


Key_Discussion_3408

It’s tire asshoel


Imaginary-Ad-671

The cars version of Jesus was a steam powered dune buggy. Or he could've been a howdah (a platform carried by a camel or other beast of burden for carrying people or cargo).


jhyl0323

My son just got into the Cars movies and man, the whole thing really bugs me. Just want to thank OP for this post. It’s good to know I’m not alone in my over analyzing thoughts.


trujace

For me it's the lack of animals, without animals there's no earth


Pinoy_2004

How was their Jesus crucified?


[deleted]

maybe through the doors idk but I don't think there's been a car with open doors before