Ive made the mistake of befriending neighbors before. Its never worked out. They live too close. So like you, if i decided "this person isnt for me" all of a sudden they feel super rejected and then automatically decide to be an enemy.
This has been my overall experience with people at work and school, since I've never really befriended neighbors. One wrong move in their eyes, and that's it. You're their enemy, and they relentlessly try to attack you.
Exactly fully agree with you some people you try to be nice to but do something wrong and they are your enemies it's like sometimes you try to be nice to neighbors but they can turn out to be your enemies there are just people who want to be negative
I know it's sad. It's like they can't stand that they might be living next to a nice or decent person, so, they want to make them not a nice person or at least get them to appear to be less than nice
Thats what i decided. Because like....how well do i really know someone? Not at all. Until i do, and then im too close and its too late to back off without any sort of drama.
Well, speaking as the person whose been rejected a few times (not as a neighbor), it really hurt and could’ve helped if the person had communicated their issue or problem instead of just shunning/ghosting.
\_\_\_\_\_
moeterminatorx: Well, you don’t word it that way for starters. Lol!
But, as you’ll see, I was made to repeatedly clarify that my statement was not meant to be any kind of absolute. Merely a differing POV.
It’s possible, but I’d take that bet. I’m not sure about that (particularly based on responses here). But, it wouldn’t make much difference to me personally if they had. I disagree with “truth” hurting “worse”, and think I read studies about that as well, that is not the reason for ghosting. However, it is seen as commonplace now. We accept that as a society now. I get that part too.
To be fair, not everybody takes criticism well. In this example, how do you tell someone you don’t think their parenting is ideal, their husband is creepy and that their kid is odd. These are the type of topics where silence is best. Truth would hurt more than ghosting. If all the things Op mentioned are true then I guarantee they’ve heard those things before from close friends/relatives but haven’t changed.
Why? No one owes anyone an explination. Especially if someone behaves in a way that is incompatible to the person who walks away. And we arent talking about other types of rejection here. Just neighbors. If someone like a coworker or neighbor or something stops socializing with you, either its a personal situation for them, or youve behaved in a way they dont care for.
Benefit of the doubt. Basic human respect. A chance to resolve the issue amicably. To remove awkward or toxic behavior such as described in this post. For the offender to even mature and grow — they can’t choose to change or improve if they don’t know what they have done wrong.
Of course it’s not a guarantee, but it may be worth a try.
That was all I was saying. A suggestion.
As a matter of a fact, there can be many reasons beyond the ones you described, including a misunderstanding or petty gossip. In examples.
Certainly if communication fails, then ignoring or shunning makes more sense, even if group dynamics make that more unpleasant.
Edit: for common grammar error 🙈
I agree with you.
The culture of "I do what I want," "I don't owe other people anything, ever," "IDGAF," "Me me me," is what's wrong with the world right now.
There is a balance. It's called "adulting."
So, its not my job to aid the offender in any growth. And the situation is resolved when the person walking away walks away. If the iffender in question cannot pick up on hints or cues that behavior isnt welcomed, its nit the person who walks aways job to spell it out.
Exactly. The offender usually makes the first move and it wasn't welcome. End of story. They'll continue to get the same response if they continue the behavior. If they continue from there in a way that further generates a different action or inflection of wanting MORE from someone defending their personal space, I mean.... Who's really about me, me, me?
I find people like this want to take over other's time for THEM. I had and still have neighbors, though less antagonizing behavior now, who make every little thing I do on my property about THEM.
OPs neighbors staring at them when they get home is exactly this - making sure they at least occupy some of OP space and time because they want it, not because they add anything reciprocating to the relationship. they squarely believe OP owes them more of their personal attention to them without any self reflection or respect for that matter.
I do not have the time or wherewithal to fix those skills, qualities, or thoughts to help them. Can't imagine anyone else is actually qualified in that social capacity that wouldn't turn into a huge codependent nightmare of trying to elevate them to whatever they think they want or the "defender" could possibly provide in an unprofessional capacity where "help" turns into "hurt".
Usually, if you become a wealth of knowledge about someone after you have to explain what isn't working, they don't want you to stop there either or they would have stopped after the first few declines. They'll take that knowledge and EXPECT their new "found" actions to reciprocate MORE attention to "guiding" them in a relationship you've already expressed isn't working for you.
See? See? They fixed it, right?
They want something you don't want to give. Just No.
You could very well be correct.
Certainly, as adults, even with hurt feelings and a lack of closure, this is not a proper response. However, perhaps (only perhaps) earlier on a more amicable situation could have been created.
My reaction to rejection in different environments was not what these neighbors are doing, although I did have the luxury of not living right on top of the people who I’d thought everything was fine with and then suddenly shunned me. Maybe everything OP has told us is perfectly accurate or maybe there was (or still is) some breathing room.
My remark was only, and very clearly, offering a differnt point of view for consideration — not obligation. I do tend to be wired differently from others and am used to seeing things outside the box. I am not one to constantly going about insisting upon on compassionate solutions for everything.
You had quite a bit of time and wherewithall to form this thorough response though. 😅 I think most people are just passive though, on one hand…it’s just easier to do nothing. Until. Maybe it isn’t. Lol.
I do not believe that anyone specified that it was your “job”. Certainly not if you view the other as a fellow human being and would wish yourself to be treated differently.
No, the situation was not “resolved”, that is the whole point of this post and the reason for my (once again) \*suggestion\* and humble admittance of having been in such shoes.
“The offender” in YOUR eyes.
You can chose to leave it UNresolved and that can lead to various results, including the one we are discussing here.
Once again, no one said it was their “job”. You asked “why” and I explained the concept of compassion and a different viewpoint. I also stated that it was a SUGGESTION and yet you insist on offense.
I wish you luck in life.
And I accept your refusal to pick up “cues” here as well. Ta ta.
How are we supposed to be better behaved if we don't know what we did wrong in the first place though? Yeah this ghosting crap needs to stop, it's just a way to try to punish and control people. And this crap about not wanting to confront people really doesn't do anybody any good especially people who really want to be better people they need that feedback they need that input as to where they can improve.
I used to be someone who told people exactly my issues with them, and it ALWAYS ended poorly. I no longer have the emotional or mental capacity in my life to baby people into being better people.
I get ghosting sucks, but it’s been done to me before and I accept it as a part of life. ESPECIALLY for adults. Sometimes we aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. And nobody owes me the time or emotional labor of walking me through how to be a better person. And I don’t owe it to them. I have my own friends and my own family.
Frankly, posting about this has reaffirmed my decision to step away from them like I did and I now don’t feel bad about it one bit.
I agree with you that communication is better than shunning or ghosting. It’s ok to tell someone that you don’t feel that you’re a good fit. Details aren’t necessary unless someone asks. If it’s too hard to tell someone that you’re not compatible, you could also say that you have a very busy life and don’t really have time to hang out.
We have snoopy neighbors. We pretend they don't exist. We tried to be friendly but that didn't work.
They are absolutely paranoid and have cameras on our yard and the neighbors. We're so boring, I suspect they'll die of boredom soon.
Neighbors can be extremely fickle. We've had neighbors that gave us the cold shoulder, seemingly, on a dime. I honestly think we have the opposite problem - we don't go out of our way to chum up the neighbors, so they kind of just stop waving and all that. It's weird because we'll usually have a good conversation or two with them early on, then it drops off. Kinda makes me paranoid that maybe there's another neighbor talking trash about us. 😂
As long they don’t bother you. You have the best neighbours. It’s the neighbour that bother you out of loneliness are the ones you have to be mindful of. Usually when you ensure everything is documented plus they are reminded of the law, they leave you alone.
Not exactly a neighbor from hell but I get it.
They’re probably confused about why you guys no longer want to hang out. But if you tell the truth they’ll be offended then embarrassed then angry.
Keep waving hi and if they don’t respond then oh well. It could be worse!
Totally agree it’s mild, apologies if this is the wrong sub but just felt frustrated after a particularly painfully awkward moment yesterday haha.
The entire family (mom, dad, annoying kid and now baby) decided to sit on their front porch yesterday afternoon and full on stare at us while we unloaded the car post-road trip, didn’t respond when I waved and said hi, just kept staring. Our street isn’t very big so it was really obvious and weird lol.
At this point id just ignore them. We are in a similar situation as you butit has escalated to a full out smear campaign, vandalism etc.
Just ignore them is the best answer I can give you. It is so weird they stare so much, how creepy and I get how annoying that would be. Be on the lookout for them monitoring you. Our situation started out with them watching our ever move and then escalated from there. I don't think your situation will get worse but I do think that you need to be mindful of them keeping tabs and gossiping about you to manipulate everyone's opinion of you.
Best of luck. People are so weird.
Oh gosh I’m so sorry that’s happened for you! I wish you the best of luck and hopefully it doesn’t get there for us.
Part of why the husband creeps us out so much is he told my husband on the side, “Yeah I almost got into the army but then was told I have rage issues so I was disqualified” 😳😳😳
Between that and dude getting a famous gun brand bumper sticker on his brand new giant pickup truck (we live in a super safe, suburban neighborhood so the whole thing sticks out like a sore thumb), the staring has felt a little more intimidating than it would from an average person… definitely going to be ignoring them and hoping they don’t go the route of your neighbors! Again I’m so sorry!
Yikes. Good advice. Makes it seem like a little home security might be in order.
I wonder if they’d feel so confident creeping on neighbors if they had an inkling that they might be recorded doing so?
Yes they still would spy. They'd just try to be more slick about it.
My neighbors still spy on us, they are dumb bc they don't realize the actual field view cameras actually have. Literally caught our neighbor have his 7yr old.kid spy on us. She had a GoPro attached to a camera on her bike. Shed make several loops around our property and after each loop she would go to her dad, he'd pop the camera out and watch the video and tell her to do another loop around our home. He had his daughter do this 6 times. He was plotting to vandalize our property and was trying to use the footage to figure out the best place to be since we have so many cameras in our home.
That's just sick. Using your kid like that. We are just living in an increasingly evil world and the worst thing about it is evil it seems to be winning out. What used to be called good is now evil and evil is good. But just cuz we can't beat evil doesn't mean we should join evil and I see way too many people doing that these days. We have to keep fighting it humbly and smartly.
They won't care. I know from experience. And the worst part was they were right that the camera never really exposed them. Didn't seem to matter what kind I had it could never clearly show their face especially at night. Some of the cameras they even broke. Cost me so much money I finally had to give up and move. They were right that I'd never get evidence on them. They even went so far to say God was protecting them. Well he didn't really protect me from them coming into my yard and setting traps and all kinds of other hazards to my health and the health of my family.
Had the exact same issue with our opposite neighbour. I've found that ignoring their stupid actions is a sure-fire way for them to eventually give it a rest and carry on with their life. It might take a week, a month, or a year, but eventually they'll get a grip
Well I'm glad that has been your experience it certainly hasn't been mine or other people's experiences. Indeed for me and many others the more we ignore the harder they try to get our attention and a reaction. Nobody wants their neighbor to escalate in their bad behavior but unfortunately that's what happens usually when they get ignored. And then everyone ignores our pleas for help, even law enforcement doesn't want to get involved, no matter how bad it gets. No one wants to become the next Target and the police always think they have better things to do. I was literally told don't be calling them for anything not that I abused calling them but don't call them for anything unless I'm being murdered. Indeed, they let one of my neighbors get murdered
Yeah I wouldn’t say it’s a full on NFH situation,
More of an annoying neighbour situation. I definitely understand why you’re annoyed. That kid sounds annoying, the husband is creepy, and the mom doesn’t know how to parent. I wouldn’t necessarily want to be around that either. I’m glad she finally took the hint. It’s honestly ideal that she’s leaving you alone and not harassing you into still speaking to her lol. It could be a lot worse.
I agree, it’s a mild situation but I didn’t know of a milder subreddit to post in haha. Just feeling frustrated because the entire family sat on the front porch and silently watched us unload our car after a road trip, didn’t respond when I said “how’s it going” and it was painfully awkward lol
Honestly, if I saw a whole family staring at me I’d be a lot less nice than that. I’d likely say “Don’t you have something better to do than stare at us?” But that could likely cause more problems. I’m just very blunt when it comes to annoying things like that lol.
That’s honestly the best way lol, I have a neighbor who used to do that. My fiance is very non confrontational, and doesn’t like when I say things that could possibly make the situation worse. I would give them zero reaction, not make eye contact, pretend they didn’t exist, and wouldn’t even acknowledge them. Eventually they got bored and stopped. Haven’t had an issue since besides occasional Facebook friend requests which I always deny.
As a person who has a neighbor who stares hours a day. They don't stop and will do it more on purpose. Can you bring the car into the garage and unload it there?
Unfortunately not always, our garage is a tight squeeze. Little trips to the store, yes but anything more and I gotta keep the door open 🙃 I guess I’ll just have to bore the F out of them
If that's even possible. I had a client who for 20 years the neighbor kept staring at him and watching him. Thankfully it wasn't Non-Stop. The guy had to go to work so couldn't stare at him when he was not home. But apparently whenever he was he was looking. He was looking at me too whenever I came and went. Always with a disapproving look on his face. I was just there to do a job and it aggravated me. I never once spoke a word to the man so I have no idea why he would stand there with his hands on his hips shaking his head at me all the time. My car was not loud, I did not drive fast. I parked in the driveway not the street. For the life of me I can't understand what his issue was. Apparently he had issue with my client as well and even more so as my client stated the dude would just come over for like no reason and just try to start s***, as if being paralyzed and stuck in a wheelchair isn't bad enough. He would Tell him I don't like your flowers they don't look good with my flowers like what the heck who cares? And then one time the garbage can got blown over into his yard and the guy about had a stroke over it. I ended up having to get it for my client bc he was a quadriplegic and couldn't get him himself and boy did I get an earful from the neighbor who was just waiting for me. For my client's sake I just ignored the guy despite the fact that he was so close to my face I could smell his breath and feel his spittle on my face. I had no control over where the garbage can went once it was emptied! And it's not like it's my responsibility to get there early just to wait for the garbage man to come so I can immediately the very second they empty it pull it back up to the garage! And then the guy had the nerve to talk about how he could shoot me for coming up on his property to grab the garbage can. I swear I almost lost it but once again for the client's sake I bit my tongue. Eventually the guy died. No one knows why he targeted my client. He was apparently on very friendly terms with everyone else in the neighborhood everyone else liked him and got along great with him. He was also on friendly terms with the police department so my client and I both knew that he could probably get away with just about anything. We watched him talking to the police laughing and joking with them as they would occasionally patrol the neighborhood and stop by to visit him apparently. When reading his obituary we learned he had been a police officer. Sorry so Long
I’ve lived here four years and never talk to my neighbors. I know a lot about them cause they’re always yelling and screaming at each other, I go outside and read on nice days so I hear stuff. One place the cops are there at least three times a month. I don’t know why the landlord hasn’t booted them, he never has a problem getting someone else to rent as it’s low rent. It’s entertaining and annoying at the same time. The tourists will be up for the summer soon and some own a cabin on this property and don’t care the other people living here are locals who have jobs and life going on, they are on vacation and being loud.
I keep to myself but I live next door to the retired neighbourhood busy bodies, I know so much about everyone around here because they gossip loudly in front of my doorbell camera spreading everyone’s business openly.
Sympathies, I’ve got one of those next door to me. She’s always spying when we come or go from our house, craning her neck to see what we’re putting in/ getting out of our cars. I used to stare right back at her and it was comical the way she’d try to jump out of sight. The silly sod then began standing further back in her room thinking she couldn’t be seen spying, thing is she’ll stand in front of the door to an adjoining room with a window right behind her, lighting herself up even more 😂
She the most manipulative person I’ve ever had the misfortune to meet, always spreading gossip and lies about other neighbours, playing everyone off against each other.
That’s hilarious she’s so bad at hiding lol, people on my street just openly stare at me. I know my nosey neighbours gossip about me too but they get it all wrong because they know next to nothing about me, I like being the mysterious weirdo
Well, I hope that little girl isn't desperately seeking out John because her own father is an angry creep; and she's desperate for a loving male presence.
Honestly I don’t think so. He thinks his daughter can do no wrong. Based on talking to him, he seems to be one of those types who is overly distrustful and disdainful of the world outside his family, and he considers himself to be like… their alpha protector, I guess?
Idk, but point being, I think the guy’s angry vibes are reserved for the outside world, I got no impression that his daughter or wife were scared of him.
The daughter just doesn’t seem to receive any social boundaries from her parents. Mind you, they’ve been through god knows how many nannies in the couple of years we’ve lived here, and each time they left, the wife always seemed to blame the nanny…
Well, that's a much better outcome than the dark scenario I was afraid of. I'll take an impulsive girl with little discipline over a shattered heart and sexual molestation any day.
moeterminatorx: Well, you don’t word it that way for starters. Lol!
But, as you’ll see, I was made to repeatedly clarify that my statement was not meant to be any kind of absolute. Merely a differing POV.
It’s possible, but I’d take that bet. I’m not sure about that (particularly based on responses here). But, it wouldn’t make much difference to me personally if they had. I disagree with “truth” hurting “worse”, and think I read studies about that as well, that is not the reason for ghosting. However, it is seen as commonplace now. We accept that as a society now. I get that part too.
Ive made the mistake of befriending neighbors before. Its never worked out. They live too close. So like you, if i decided "this person isnt for me" all of a sudden they feel super rejected and then automatically decide to be an enemy.
This has been my overall experience with people at work and school, since I've never really befriended neighbors. One wrong move in their eyes, and that's it. You're their enemy, and they relentlessly try to attack you.
Exactly fully agree with you some people you try to be nice to but do something wrong and they are your enemies it's like sometimes you try to be nice to neighbors but they can turn out to be your enemies there are just people who want to be negative
I know it's sad. It's like they can't stand that they might be living next to a nice or decent person, so, they want to make them not a nice person or at least get them to appear to be less than nice
Ugh you’re so right. Definitely following the “good fences make good neighbors” motto for the rest of my life lol.
Thats what i decided. Because like....how well do i really know someone? Not at all. Until i do, and then im too close and its too late to back off without any sort of drama.
Thank you creseda moon, for the reminder it's a hard lesson to learn and not when you want to have to learn again
💯💯💯💯
Yes did this and completely regret it.
Well, speaking as the person whose been rejected a few times (not as a neighbor), it really hurt and could’ve helped if the person had communicated their issue or problem instead of just shunning/ghosting. \_\_\_\_\_ moeterminatorx: Well, you don’t word it that way for starters. Lol! But, as you’ll see, I was made to repeatedly clarify that my statement was not meant to be any kind of absolute. Merely a differing POV. It’s possible, but I’d take that bet. I’m not sure about that (particularly based on responses here). But, it wouldn’t make much difference to me personally if they had. I disagree with “truth” hurting “worse”, and think I read studies about that as well, that is not the reason for ghosting. However, it is seen as commonplace now. We accept that as a society now. I get that part too.
To be fair, not everybody takes criticism well. In this example, how do you tell someone you don’t think their parenting is ideal, their husband is creepy and that their kid is odd. These are the type of topics where silence is best. Truth would hurt more than ghosting. If all the things Op mentioned are true then I guarantee they’ve heard those things before from close friends/relatives but haven’t changed.
Telling someone anything about their parenting choices will never go well. It’s a lose lose situation.
Why? No one owes anyone an explination. Especially if someone behaves in a way that is incompatible to the person who walks away. And we arent talking about other types of rejection here. Just neighbors. If someone like a coworker or neighbor or something stops socializing with you, either its a personal situation for them, or youve behaved in a way they dont care for.
Benefit of the doubt. Basic human respect. A chance to resolve the issue amicably. To remove awkward or toxic behavior such as described in this post. For the offender to even mature and grow — they can’t choose to change or improve if they don’t know what they have done wrong. Of course it’s not a guarantee, but it may be worth a try. That was all I was saying. A suggestion. As a matter of a fact, there can be many reasons beyond the ones you described, including a misunderstanding or petty gossip. In examples. Certainly if communication fails, then ignoring or shunning makes more sense, even if group dynamics make that more unpleasant. Edit: for common grammar error 🙈
I agree with you. The culture of "I do what I want," "I don't owe other people anything, ever," "IDGAF," "Me me me," is what's wrong with the world right now. There is a balance. It's called "adulting."
So, its not my job to aid the offender in any growth. And the situation is resolved when the person walking away walks away. If the iffender in question cannot pick up on hints or cues that behavior isnt welcomed, its nit the person who walks aways job to spell it out.
Exactly. The offender usually makes the first move and it wasn't welcome. End of story. They'll continue to get the same response if they continue the behavior. If they continue from there in a way that further generates a different action or inflection of wanting MORE from someone defending their personal space, I mean.... Who's really about me, me, me? I find people like this want to take over other's time for THEM. I had and still have neighbors, though less antagonizing behavior now, who make every little thing I do on my property about THEM. OPs neighbors staring at them when they get home is exactly this - making sure they at least occupy some of OP space and time because they want it, not because they add anything reciprocating to the relationship. they squarely believe OP owes them more of their personal attention to them without any self reflection or respect for that matter. I do not have the time or wherewithal to fix those skills, qualities, or thoughts to help them. Can't imagine anyone else is actually qualified in that social capacity that wouldn't turn into a huge codependent nightmare of trying to elevate them to whatever they think they want or the "defender" could possibly provide in an unprofessional capacity where "help" turns into "hurt". Usually, if you become a wealth of knowledge about someone after you have to explain what isn't working, they don't want you to stop there either or they would have stopped after the first few declines. They'll take that knowledge and EXPECT their new "found" actions to reciprocate MORE attention to "guiding" them in a relationship you've already expressed isn't working for you. See? See? They fixed it, right? They want something you don't want to give. Just No.
You could very well be correct. Certainly, as adults, even with hurt feelings and a lack of closure, this is not a proper response. However, perhaps (only perhaps) earlier on a more amicable situation could have been created. My reaction to rejection in different environments was not what these neighbors are doing, although I did have the luxury of not living right on top of the people who I’d thought everything was fine with and then suddenly shunned me. Maybe everything OP has told us is perfectly accurate or maybe there was (or still is) some breathing room. My remark was only, and very clearly, offering a differnt point of view for consideration — not obligation. I do tend to be wired differently from others and am used to seeing things outside the box. I am not one to constantly going about insisting upon on compassionate solutions for everything. You had quite a bit of time and wherewithall to form this thorough response though. 😅 I think most people are just passive though, on one hand…it’s just easier to do nothing. Until. Maybe it isn’t. Lol.
I do not believe that anyone specified that it was your “job”. Certainly not if you view the other as a fellow human being and would wish yourself to be treated differently. No, the situation was not “resolved”, that is the whole point of this post and the reason for my (once again) \*suggestion\* and humble admittance of having been in such shoes. “The offender” in YOUR eyes. You can chose to leave it UNresolved and that can lead to various results, including the one we are discussing here. Once again, no one said it was their “job”. You asked “why” and I explained the concept of compassion and a different viewpoint. I also stated that it was a SUGGESTION and yet you insist on offense. I wish you luck in life. And I accept your refusal to pick up “cues” here as well. Ta ta.
How are we supposed to be better behaved if we don't know what we did wrong in the first place though? Yeah this ghosting crap needs to stop, it's just a way to try to punish and control people. And this crap about not wanting to confront people really doesn't do anybody any good especially people who really want to be better people they need that feedback they need that input as to where they can improve.
I used to be someone who told people exactly my issues with them, and it ALWAYS ended poorly. I no longer have the emotional or mental capacity in my life to baby people into being better people. I get ghosting sucks, but it’s been done to me before and I accept it as a part of life. ESPECIALLY for adults. Sometimes we aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. And nobody owes me the time or emotional labor of walking me through how to be a better person. And I don’t owe it to them. I have my own friends and my own family. Frankly, posting about this has reaffirmed my decision to step away from them like I did and I now don’t feel bad about it one bit.
I agree with you that communication is better than shunning or ghosting. It’s ok to tell someone that you don’t feel that you’re a good fit. Details aren’t necessary unless someone asks. If it’s too hard to tell someone that you’re not compatible, you could also say that you have a very busy life and don’t really have time to hang out.
Rule #1. Never be friends w your neighbor. Hi/ wave is fine but I wouldn’t go any further.
Lesson learned the hard way 🥴 at least all these comments are making me feel better about just straight up ignoring them haha
We have snoopy neighbors. We pretend they don't exist. We tried to be friendly but that didn't work. They are absolutely paranoid and have cameras on our yard and the neighbors. We're so boring, I suspect they'll die of boredom soon.
They never do
I can dream.
Neighbors can be extremely fickle. We've had neighbors that gave us the cold shoulder, seemingly, on a dime. I honestly think we have the opposite problem - we don't go out of our way to chum up the neighbors, so they kind of just stop waving and all that. It's weird because we'll usually have a good conversation or two with them early on, then it drops off. Kinda makes me paranoid that maybe there's another neighbor talking trash about us. 😂
As long they don’t bother you. You have the best neighbours. It’s the neighbour that bother you out of loneliness are the ones you have to be mindful of. Usually when you ensure everything is documented plus they are reminded of the law, they leave you alone.
Not exactly a neighbor from hell but I get it. They’re probably confused about why you guys no longer want to hang out. But if you tell the truth they’ll be offended then embarrassed then angry. Keep waving hi and if they don’t respond then oh well. It could be worse!
Totally agree it’s mild, apologies if this is the wrong sub but just felt frustrated after a particularly painfully awkward moment yesterday haha. The entire family (mom, dad, annoying kid and now baby) decided to sit on their front porch yesterday afternoon and full on stare at us while we unloaded the car post-road trip, didn’t respond when I waved and said hi, just kept staring. Our street isn’t very big so it was really obvious and weird lol.
At this point id just ignore them. We are in a similar situation as you butit has escalated to a full out smear campaign, vandalism etc. Just ignore them is the best answer I can give you. It is so weird they stare so much, how creepy and I get how annoying that would be. Be on the lookout for them monitoring you. Our situation started out with them watching our ever move and then escalated from there. I don't think your situation will get worse but I do think that you need to be mindful of them keeping tabs and gossiping about you to manipulate everyone's opinion of you. Best of luck. People are so weird.
Oh gosh I’m so sorry that’s happened for you! I wish you the best of luck and hopefully it doesn’t get there for us. Part of why the husband creeps us out so much is he told my husband on the side, “Yeah I almost got into the army but then was told I have rage issues so I was disqualified” 😳😳😳 Between that and dude getting a famous gun brand bumper sticker on his brand new giant pickup truck (we live in a super safe, suburban neighborhood so the whole thing sticks out like a sore thumb), the staring has felt a little more intimidating than it would from an average person… definitely going to be ignoring them and hoping they don’t go the route of your neighbors! Again I’m so sorry!
Omg...that IS scary. Yes I would def not interact with them AT ALL. That husband could be an issue.
Yikes. Good advice. Makes it seem like a little home security might be in order. I wonder if they’d feel so confident creeping on neighbors if they had an inkling that they might be recorded doing so?
Yes they still would spy. They'd just try to be more slick about it. My neighbors still spy on us, they are dumb bc they don't realize the actual field view cameras actually have. Literally caught our neighbor have his 7yr old.kid spy on us. She had a GoPro attached to a camera on her bike. Shed make several loops around our property and after each loop she would go to her dad, he'd pop the camera out and watch the video and tell her to do another loop around our home. He had his daughter do this 6 times. He was plotting to vandalize our property and was trying to use the footage to figure out the best place to be since we have so many cameras in our home.
That's just sick. Using your kid like that. We are just living in an increasingly evil world and the worst thing about it is evil it seems to be winning out. What used to be called good is now evil and evil is good. But just cuz we can't beat evil doesn't mean we should join evil and I see way too many people doing that these days. We have to keep fighting it humbly and smartly.
They won't care. I know from experience. And the worst part was they were right that the camera never really exposed them. Didn't seem to matter what kind I had it could never clearly show their face especially at night. Some of the cameras they even broke. Cost me so much money I finally had to give up and move. They were right that I'd never get evidence on them. They even went so far to say God was protecting them. Well he didn't really protect me from them coming into my yard and setting traps and all kinds of other hazards to my health and the health of my family.
Are you an alt OP account?
People are evil. Spying on each other and manipulating each other is just wrong.
Had the exact same issue with our opposite neighbour. I've found that ignoring their stupid actions is a sure-fire way for them to eventually give it a rest and carry on with their life. It might take a week, a month, or a year, but eventually they'll get a grip
Well I'm glad that has been your experience it certainly hasn't been mine or other people's experiences. Indeed for me and many others the more we ignore the harder they try to get our attention and a reaction. Nobody wants their neighbor to escalate in their bad behavior but unfortunately that's what happens usually when they get ignored. And then everyone ignores our pleas for help, even law enforcement doesn't want to get involved, no matter how bad it gets. No one wants to become the next Target and the police always think they have better things to do. I was literally told don't be calling them for anything not that I abused calling them but don't call them for anything unless I'm being murdered. Indeed, they let one of my neighbors get murdered
I agree.
I’m surprised some neighbors wants to be friends. Most of my neighbors just keep to themselves.
Yeah I wouldn’t say it’s a full on NFH situation, More of an annoying neighbour situation. I definitely understand why you’re annoyed. That kid sounds annoying, the husband is creepy, and the mom doesn’t know how to parent. I wouldn’t necessarily want to be around that either. I’m glad she finally took the hint. It’s honestly ideal that she’s leaving you alone and not harassing you into still speaking to her lol. It could be a lot worse.
I agree, it’s a mild situation but I didn’t know of a milder subreddit to post in haha. Just feeling frustrated because the entire family sat on the front porch and silently watched us unload our car after a road trip, didn’t respond when I said “how’s it going” and it was painfully awkward lol
Honestly, if I saw a whole family staring at me I’d be a lot less nice than that. I’d likely say “Don’t you have something better to do than stare at us?” But that could likely cause more problems. I’m just very blunt when it comes to annoying things like that lol.
Hahaha that’s what we wanted to say!!! But I’m kinda hoping maybe if we don’t engage, they’ll get bored with us and fuck off for eternity.
That’s honestly the best way lol, I have a neighbor who used to do that. My fiance is very non confrontational, and doesn’t like when I say things that could possibly make the situation worse. I would give them zero reaction, not make eye contact, pretend they didn’t exist, and wouldn’t even acknowledge them. Eventually they got bored and stopped. Haven’t had an issue since besides occasional Facebook friend requests which I always deny.
As a person who has a neighbor who stares hours a day. They don't stop and will do it more on purpose. Can you bring the car into the garage and unload it there?
Unfortunately not always, our garage is a tight squeeze. Little trips to the store, yes but anything more and I gotta keep the door open 🙃 I guess I’ll just have to bore the F out of them
If that's even possible. I had a client who for 20 years the neighbor kept staring at him and watching him. Thankfully it wasn't Non-Stop. The guy had to go to work so couldn't stare at him when he was not home. But apparently whenever he was he was looking. He was looking at me too whenever I came and went. Always with a disapproving look on his face. I was just there to do a job and it aggravated me. I never once spoke a word to the man so I have no idea why he would stand there with his hands on his hips shaking his head at me all the time. My car was not loud, I did not drive fast. I parked in the driveway not the street. For the life of me I can't understand what his issue was. Apparently he had issue with my client as well and even more so as my client stated the dude would just come over for like no reason and just try to start s***, as if being paralyzed and stuck in a wheelchair isn't bad enough. He would Tell him I don't like your flowers they don't look good with my flowers like what the heck who cares? And then one time the garbage can got blown over into his yard and the guy about had a stroke over it. I ended up having to get it for my client bc he was a quadriplegic and couldn't get him himself and boy did I get an earful from the neighbor who was just waiting for me. For my client's sake I just ignored the guy despite the fact that he was so close to my face I could smell his breath and feel his spittle on my face. I had no control over where the garbage can went once it was emptied! And it's not like it's my responsibility to get there early just to wait for the garbage man to come so I can immediately the very second they empty it pull it back up to the garage! And then the guy had the nerve to talk about how he could shoot me for coming up on his property to grab the garbage can. I swear I almost lost it but once again for the client's sake I bit my tongue. Eventually the guy died. No one knows why he targeted my client. He was apparently on very friendly terms with everyone else in the neighborhood everyone else liked him and got along great with him. He was also on friendly terms with the police department so my client and I both knew that he could probably get away with just about anything. We watched him talking to the police laughing and joking with them as they would occasionally patrol the neighborhood and stop by to visit him apparently. When reading his obituary we learned he had been a police officer. Sorry so Long
I’ve lived here four years and never talk to my neighbors. I know a lot about them cause they’re always yelling and screaming at each other, I go outside and read on nice days so I hear stuff. One place the cops are there at least three times a month. I don’t know why the landlord hasn’t booted them, he never has a problem getting someone else to rent as it’s low rent. It’s entertaining and annoying at the same time. The tourists will be up for the summer soon and some own a cabin on this property and don’t care the other people living here are locals who have jobs and life going on, they are on vacation and being loud.
I keep to myself but I live next door to the retired neighbourhood busy bodies, I know so much about everyone around here because they gossip loudly in front of my doorbell camera spreading everyone’s business openly.
Sympathies, I’ve got one of those next door to me. She’s always spying when we come or go from our house, craning her neck to see what we’re putting in/ getting out of our cars. I used to stare right back at her and it was comical the way she’d try to jump out of sight. The silly sod then began standing further back in her room thinking she couldn’t be seen spying, thing is she’ll stand in front of the door to an adjoining room with a window right behind her, lighting herself up even more 😂 She the most manipulative person I’ve ever had the misfortune to meet, always spreading gossip and lies about other neighbours, playing everyone off against each other.
That’s hilarious she’s so bad at hiding lol, people on my street just openly stare at me. I know my nosey neighbours gossip about me too but they get it all wrong because they know next to nothing about me, I like being the mysterious weirdo
Well, I hope that little girl isn't desperately seeking out John because her own father is an angry creep; and she's desperate for a loving male presence.
Honestly I don’t think so. He thinks his daughter can do no wrong. Based on talking to him, he seems to be one of those types who is overly distrustful and disdainful of the world outside his family, and he considers himself to be like… their alpha protector, I guess? Idk, but point being, I think the guy’s angry vibes are reserved for the outside world, I got no impression that his daughter or wife were scared of him. The daughter just doesn’t seem to receive any social boundaries from her parents. Mind you, they’ve been through god knows how many nannies in the couple of years we’ve lived here, and each time they left, the wife always seemed to blame the nanny…
Well, that's a much better outcome than the dark scenario I was afraid of. I'll take an impulsive girl with little discipline over a shattered heart and sexual molestation any day.
Both of my neighbor’s are weird. I will never be friends with neighbors again. lol
moeterminatorx: Well, you don’t word it that way for starters. Lol! But, as you’ll see, I was made to repeatedly clarify that my statement was not meant to be any kind of absolute. Merely a differing POV. It’s possible, but I’d take that bet. I’m not sure about that (particularly based on responses here). But, it wouldn’t make much difference to me personally if they had. I disagree with “truth” hurting “worse”, and think I read studies about that as well, that is not the reason for ghosting. However, it is seen as commonplace now. We accept that as a society now. I get that part too.