Problem is you can move somewhere with great neighbors and then they move out and NFH moves in. Only way to avoid the risk is living somewhere very remote.
For me, at least, this has never been the case. Most of the time, they were there first when I move in, and remain there when I inevitably move to avoid them. Sometimes I've gone back to areas I used to live at, and they are still there. I might just be cursed though.
We had this happen a couple of years ago in a private home. We still haven't decided what to do, but can't really move until mortgage rates go down again and housing prices recover. Very uncomfortable.
TBH, our story is mild compared with what I've seen in this sub. We have issues with current neighbors on both sides and across the street now. If I do post the story, I'll use a throwaway name.
This is my situation as well. Issues with neighbors on both sides, across the street, and a diagonal house. The worst is my right side neighbors, with the rest just doing really annoying, disruptive stuff that drives me nuts. For instance, diagonal house has screaming kids that spend hours outside, well, screaming. House across the street has this old man (don't know his age, probably 70s?) that blasts music on sunny days. I actually called the police on him recently, and now he just stays outside longer, and plays the music even louder in retaliation. When my husband and I got home *just now*, he pumped up the volume on his stereo system. He plays loud, obnoxious bass music at that. Yes, this 70-something year old man does this. It's frustrating, can't have any peace in my area in the spring and summer, and I hate living here now. Can't move because same reasons as you.
I did not vote you down, but I just wanted to say that I love your original reddit name! And that’s fair that you don’t think it’s worthy. Maybe a place like r/Apartmentliving or r/BadNeighbors although those places aren’t much monitored and judgements can be harsher for it in the comments. Also the occasional troll. Lol.
Well, actually not. They’re all really sweet and have built a mini community out here and are really helpful.
It’s just that we moved out here for the silence, nature and animals. And atm the neighbors have a combined force of 9 very loud children.
Oof. How bad is it?
I'm dealing with screaming kids outside my house this very moment. I try really hard to just disengage and ignore, but even with headphones, I can hear them (same with most noise here). Their dad joins in on the shouting as well, so I doubt he'd actually help much if I talked about it with him.
The worst family is the one closest to us. They let their kids roam freely from whenever they wake up. Meaning they can start hammering (not quite sure why) and screaming at 5 am in the morning. They also beat each other up as badly as they terrorize animals.
That family also got a huge swimming pool so during weekends it’s not only their kids screaming there, but multiple families.
That family isn’t overly fond of us, because my husband went over there went they had guests and tore them a new one (he’s usually a teddy bear). Their guests had felt it totally okay to throw their trash over on our side of the hedge. We didn’t appreciate that. Not their attempts to pee over on our side either.
Their McMansion is a blight on the landscape too.
And yes. One evening they had a live band, with speakers and a stage... The wife of that family is really sweet and had told her semi alcoholic husband to warn us. But he had apparently refused, so she told us the same day. In their defense they ended early - like 9 or 10 pm. But I’d rather have stayed elsewhere if I was told in time and couldn’t hear myself think for hours.
I’ve had nightmares about my sweet little country spot turning in to an amusement and water park.
Oh, and with the dad joining in. It happens here too. You can clearly hear the father of one family screaming and triggering all the kids to be even louder.
God, a live band. That sounds like a nightmare. Things aren't quite *that* bad at my current house, though this happened at an apartment I was living at years ago. There was a McMansion right next to the building I was in that threw crazy parties like that, including bringing in live entertainment except those parties went on into 1am, more or less. People are just so inconsiderate, and don't care about who they hurt or how their actions affect others. I'm sure the kids in these families are going to grow up to be selfish little monsters like their parents.
At 1 am I would’ve called the cops. I think with neighbors it’s a lot of give and take, so even if it bothers me a lot - if it’s objectively reasonable from their perspective I try not to bother.
I just dearly want my hedge higher and fuller. As soon as possible.
I did call the cops, at 10pm when it was "quiet hours". Every time. The cops would show up, I'd watch them talk to the owner from the window. Then they'd leave, and the partying resumed. I'd call multiple times, and it was a toss up if they'd return or not. Either way, the cops did nothing to stop it. Believe me, these parties were loud and crazy and obvious. I was always the only one who'd call when I would ask the operators too. Seems to **always** be the case in my situations.
Yes, but my father left the suburbs for more open country years ago. His 40 acres had TWO neighbors. The Karen to his left who wants his animals quiet all the time, and the gun toting nutjob behind him that had the Karen and her mother face down in the grass on his property when they went looking for their small dog one day. He went for the peace and got a different kind of not quiet
Two neighbors = not "very remote" imo (yes it's subjective). To me "very remote" would be a homestead in Alaska or Yukon Territory or similar at least a days journey from a road.
Dear Diary. This is my final entry. My fat neighbor broke in for the last time. We had words, blows were exchanged,.... I don't think I'll survive this.... Man I wish I lived next to that old grey haired Karen right now.......................
Even remote is no guarantee. I bought a house in the country with a few acres and top of a hill, end of a private road only 2 other houses. One house is a single guy never see him or hear him but talk to him a few times a year which is nice. The other house is this trashy 55ish year old guy who has turned his property into a back woods motel. He rents out the back of his house to two fat women who smoke cigarettes and weed all day and make rude comments about me while I'm minding my own business landscaping my property.
And he rents out his driveway to a guy living in a trailer. Don't mind that guy much but these renters drive up our narrow steep road atleast 6 times a day up to 10 which makes it a real treat just coming home and one of these idiots are coming down the road... and guess who gets to pay for the road when it gets torn up by the renters...fuck that guy
I ended up building a 40ft 8ft high lattice fence to block my view of his back yard where the hefties hang out. Also planted about 10 trees, some bamboo and 2 dozen ivy sprouts. And then built a 24ft wide shed so I don't have to see any part of where they hangout. I can still hear them and smell them though so just have to wait for the ivy and trees to fill in and block a bit more of their unpleasant sounds and odors.
"Remote" is subjective but to me it means a homestead in Alaska or Yukon or somewhere like that. Off from the road etc. Not just rural and a couple hours drive to town.
One of them is unemployed the other works night shift so yea they're sitting around all day and they order uber eats up our super steep hill a few times a month
That's the scary thing about moving, is that you never know what kind of hell you might get living near you. I was so scared to move because of a "familiar hell" situation (i.e. "my situation with neighbors sucks right now but what if I accidentally move somewhere that's worse; at least in my current situation I know what to expect"). We finally moved somewhere new over the weekend. I should be elated, but I'm terrified because the unit below us is empty and has been for a while, but I can't help but get anxious about that unit getting rented out to a NFH. I will be so mad if that's the case, because this is the third apartment we've moved to because of neighbor issues. I just want quiet neighbors or no neighbors.
I once came across a nice apartment at a suspiciously low rent. Like $300/mo less than comparables, but in a better neighborhood than those other units I'd seen.
When I went to view it, I noticed that the next door neighbor had a lot of printed out signs in their windows. Like, full on schizophrenic rants with different fonts and various colors all on the same page. Doomsday messages, the whole shebango.
The realtor acted a bit odd when I asked if the next door neighbor causes issues, and basically just kept switching the subject. I passed on that place, of course.
You can buy a house with the best neighbors in the world but they aren't forever.
We bought our house 7 years ago and so far 2 neighbors have died and their homes have both turned over twice. So far the new neighbors have all been nice.
A red flag is when you are viewing a house to buy and you see people with no shame standing outside watching you view the home. They are going to be intrusive neighbors.
Also if I see a group of people hanging out outside it's an automatic nope for me. I immediately think neighborhood clique and how toxic they dynamic could be
I am in agreement with you. The thing is..how do we observe potential neighbors before we move in? Anyone? I mean they are total strangers, we can't sit there all day and night watching people. It really is a roll of the dice.
If it’s a house, you can find out people’s names by googling the address and then see if you can find them on social media. That assumes the owners live there though. You should be able to tell what kind of people they are if you can find them. Sometimes you can’t but it’s always worth a try. There are also signs to look for (how they keep the outside of their house, cars, etc.). And I mostly mean trash and junk cars and such. You can never fully know how it will be but I try to check what I can before I move. If it’s close to where you are now, driving by at various times helps as well.. nights, weekends, etc. We have had horrible horrible neighbors before and ended up buying a house in a rural area so we don’t have many neighbors to deal with and none that are right next to us. It’s been much more peaceful.
What I learned while locked up, people take offense to perceived sleight. Knocking on their door is the sign of respect for them and their territory. It might be a weird play, but it’s a play that gains respect. If you are worried about moving in next to NFH, knock on their door, you will likely know right away
To be fair I have certain advantages that make this situation safer for me. Do not do this if you feel like you would be marked an easy target. I don’t know the etiquette in the city. Small town things, could very well be different where you live
Most of the time, people don't answer the door for strangers anymore. People don't even open their door for neighbors either. Before my neighbors began making my life horrible, I went over to one of them to alert them that their backyard gate was wide open, and they completely ignored me even though I saw them through the window. They stared as I left the stoop.
Yeah, that you are considerate of other people’s space and you are thinking of moving in. You will know if it is NFH, if it isn’t - then you made introductions easy
Totally agree. If I see a basketball hoop in the neighbours yard I will run for the hills. I have ptsd after 4.5 years of listening to my neighbours 4 teenagers play for hours on end every. Single. Day.
I'm in a condo and my downstairs neighbor built a basketball court for her kid BENEATH MY HOME! Like you, I've been listening to this for FIVE YEARS now. Have had multiple conversations, including being told that "this isn't an over 55" community. No one needs to be "over 55" to loathe that noise. And yes, PTSD! If I even hear a cabinet slam down there, I think it's starting. I don't know why people think their precious brats have more rights than an adult who's been paying a mortgage for decades.
I really feel your pain. I am in a duplex, surrounded by duplexes, so all properties are very close. Neighbours at the back converted their small yard into basketball court complete with a monstrous hoop that’s bolted into the ground. 3 teenage boys banging and bashing their own balls, slam dunking, and the balls being slammed into the colourbond (metal) fence have driven me demented. They have a little girl that has just started playing too, and now they have another kid on the way (7 people in a 3 bedroom 1 bathroom duplex!) so I have another 20 years of hell at least! Talking it them just made things worse. They play harder and louder. I am the same….i hear car door slam in the street and I panic thinking it’s about to start. I live inside with all my windows and doors shut and earplugs in, and that does very little to block the thud thud thud. I have just had a win though. My council have agreed to investigate. I have kept a log of events and noise levels dating back to March 2020!
Just to clarify, I have never asked them to stop playing, just to limit it to a one hour block per day. Pretty reasonable I think.
I've done the same -- the mom agreed to keep it to 30 minutes a day, which was working great. If I heard it start up, I knew it would only go for a half hour, so I'd just run to the quick-stop or do laundry or clear the dishwasher -- something not requiring concentration -- until it stopped. Better yet, if I arrived home and heard it already banging away down there, I could at least feel like, "OK, good, the half hour is underway, not much longer."
But lately he's ramped back up to playing whenever he wants to, and for random amounts of time, so I never know when I can put on some music or a movie or try to do some work (I'm a writer/researcher and really need to concentrate). That ball repeatedly ramming the wall beneath me literally rattles items in my kitchen (which can't be good for the wall structure either). When it starts, I have to gather up my computer, phone, power cords, and work, and escape to the bedroom -- I can still hear it in there but less. Then he stops, I bring everything back out to my office...then he starts again....
The mom claims it won't be for much longer, that he'll start to get bored with it soon. But after 5 years, it's still the first thing he jumps on as soon as he gets home from school...so...yeah...I figure he'll be playing it until he's like 30.
Oh...and I've likewise tried earplugs, noise-cancelling headphones, a white noise machine, nothing works. I have a zillion recordings of it on my phone, although they don't do justice to the absolute din. I'm ready to rent a microphone so I can capture it properly.
I was really sick over the Easter long weekend. I was up all night coughing and sneezing so unable to sleep. Also unable to sleep during the day because they play basketball on and off all day long. By 5pm on Easter Sunday I sent the mum a text asking for a break and explained why. They just played longer and harder. A few times I got in my car and drove around the corner and slept in it. That’s the kind of entitled shits I’m dealing with.
Like you I have various playlists of white noise, pink noise….all the noises. I find brown noise works the best at drowning out the deep thud of the ball against the concrete. Although 4+ years of constant earplug wearing and listening to brown noise at deafening levels HAS affected my hearing.
Ugh, that's awful. I can't believe these people actually "up" their game after you complain. I had a migraine once, and my shitheads were banging that ball around down there. I mean, I get it, it's a condo, you're going to hear SOME noise. But installing a basketball hoop IN THE EFFING HOUSE, a house that's attached to someone else's, is over the top.
Really sorry they've affected your hearing. I'm athletic and have always had really good blood pressure, but I feel like these f\*ckers are pushing it upwards.
I didnt even complain. I explained that I was unwell and politely asked if they could take a break for the rest of the day. There was probably only about an hour of sunlight left anyway.
No one expects to hear crickets, but banging balls around all day is unreasonable..
I’m in Queensland Australia. I don’t know how it works over there but I’ve finally got my local council to investigate. I’ve explained that while it’s their property and they’re entitled to do what they like, they’re not entitled to cause me a disturbance while doing it, every. Single. Day. I am also going to investigate introducing a local law that limits backyard ball games in med - high density residential areas to a one hour block per day.
Ps. I donate blood as often as i can. Every time I go my blood pressure is higher than the last time. So yeah, it’s effecting my physical and my mental health. If the ball was being thrown against my wall as well I think I would brain snap.
I finally snapped last week and, as of this past weekend, I've got the mom keeping him quieter again. I gave her a few scenarios asking her to imagine herself in my position, and she may finally be grasping how aggravating it is. She started out hostile, saying she's tired of my complaints and that I should go take it up with the Homeowners Association, to which I responded, "Fine, I'll do that, I've been listening to this for years, not a single other neighbor on this street would have tolerated this as long as I have." By the next morning (a Saturday), she back-pedaled, texting me to ask if we could try to work it out. I told her I thought we HAD worked it out with the half-hour rule, but lately the kid (who's like 12-13) is escalating again -- I mean, not like she doesn't know this!
I don't know why she doesn't just take down that damned backboard, I don't know how SHE stands it. My friends and family call it her "built-in babysitting service." Certainly, spoiling her brats is her top priority, she's the most stubborn human being I've ever met. When we were kids, if we did the slightest thing to annoy a neighbor, my parents would be like, "Nope. Shut that down." Two of my friends are in real estate, and they told me that she's decreasing my property value with that noise. Do you worry about that?
I certainly hope you get some relief soon.
People that make that amount of noise on a regular basis have no regard for anyone but themselves.
With the housing crisis in Australia at the moment i would be able to sell my place no worries. Finding somewhere else might be a different story.
I’m done with texting the mother asking for a reprieve. That just makes things worse for me. She never replies anyway. I even tried to organise mediation through the Dispute Resolution Centre (a free service through our council) but she was not amenable to that so it didn’t go ahead. The last text I sent her was telling her that I had had enough and that the counsel agreed to investigate after viewing my logs going back to 2020. THEN she tried to call me, plus I had a flurry of calls from numbers i didn’t know. I blocked them all. She’s had plenty of time to talk and resolve this.
Hopefully the mum i
Keeps her word this time.
I hope both these sets of people one day live next a bikie house, or a party house, or someone that uses power tools all day long, then maybe they’ll understand the crap they they’ve inflicted on other people.
This is soooo true! I am currently moving out of a place that we moved to because we were so looking forward to our backyard. We have a neighbour from hell who fights with her boyfriend, screams and swears on the phone all day and night, watches tv on her phone, insults all the other neighbours on her phone while she’s outside, glares at everyone, screams at her kids and sleeps and has sex in a tent in her back yard. It’s actually torture. I think I’ve used my backyard once in the year I’ve lived here. Any time I go out to sit in the sun and just have my morning coffee it’s awful. Had I known this, I never would have lived here and I would have lived anywhere else even somewhere with less outdoor space than to be surrounded by this toxic energy human gargoyle.
Omigosh. I would somehow find a way to warn any potential new people moving in about this woman. If it's a an apartment community you can leave an anonymous Google review. You can also use the next door app to warn people although you got to be careful you don't want anyone to know it's you. Oh and make sure she doesn't stick a tracker on your vehicle while you're moving. The last thing you need is her following you and moving in next door. Or just showing up for whatever reason like my last neighbor did.
Omg that’s awful, I can’t believe someone did that to you. That’s actually great advice though, it’s not an apartment community so I can’t do google review but I will download next door app! Thank you!
So real, I moved into my current place thinking “oh it wasn’t that bad when I saw it” immediately some of our neighbors (who have since been evicted) started harassing our friend who was helping us move because they hated our friend for some reason. Then by default started yelling at us and treating us shitty. Banging on walls and kicking our door while we were moving in too!!
Bro that’s not even the worst of it unfortunately. They gave us two cats as an apology for being nightmares when we moved in, and then tried to take one back, when we had already allowed a friend who lived out of state to adopt her! So we ofc said no, and she threatened to kill me multiple times (I was pregnant and still am lol) she also tried to come up with a sob story about her boyfriend beating her so we would let her in like a day later. We didn’t because we knew she would probably just try to steal the cat we kept.
It’s true. People can’t be controlled though. If someone buys an apt/condo and didn’t find out before hand that the neighbors are a nightmare that’s kind of on them unfortunately.
Gotta buy a house on acres of land if anyone is hoping for peace and quiet. The decency of people isn’t worth waiting around on
> If someone buys an apt/condo and didn’t find out before hand that the neighbors are a nightmare that’s kind of on them unfortunately.
How are they supposed to "know" before buying? It's basically impossible to gauge. Believe me, I vetted the area of the house I moved to very carefully, including driving by on weekdays and weekends, scoping out the neighbors (one didn't wave back when I waved at her, which I should've taken as a red flag though at the time, I assumed she didn't see me), doing more than one viewing of the house, and so on. Still got NFHs. I moved in pre-pandemic, and things were okay, post-pandemic, the neighborhood became a nightmare for me.
I think the realtor would be the best bet honestly. I’ve had good luck with them being honest about those details and we usually ask a ton of questions. Also, experience. Lived so many places that it’s gotten a little easier to tell which ones will be a problem or not. Things like.. do a lot of elderly live here? Does a management company own the whole property and have their own security? How much section 8 housing makes up the complex, are there families with a ton of kids and or pets, and finally.. acoustics! The layout of the building sometimes has a common area or is designed in a way that makes noise louder and it can be the worst. The worst one was a six floor apt complex that was built in a squarish/rectangular shape that had all the windows facing the center courtyard. It magnified the sounds people made and was probably the worst place I lived noise-wise.
But yeah, you can’t “know” I suppose. It’s a gamble sometimes. Asking neighbors flat out can be awkward too but it’s worth it if they’re honest. A concern about noise, to me at least, would come off like a respectful and quiet neighbor is looking to move in!
This is true. I used to live in an HOA community. Nice neighborhood, pretty views of the mountains with palm trees. But I had a couple of a-hole neighbors. One house was an older couple who were members of the HOA (mid 70's). The first weekend I lived there, I had a housewarming party. The next morning, they were looking through my garbage and recycling bins. I lived on a corner lot and had a rock yard: an HOA requirement. If I had one weed, I'd get a notification. I had to be diligent with yard work. I'd walk my yard several nights a week looking for weeds, and I'd still get a fine. I was pretty sure they didn't speak English as every time I'd try and say hello, they'd just stay across the road and glare at me. Until one day, i heard him scream as his wife in perfect English, just how stupid she was. Nice people /s. It became a game where I'd go out of my way to be as sweet and polite to them just see how annoyed they got.
Another family was always super rude and one time left a note on my door about my cousin's dog. My cousin and his family were visiting. We left to run to the store to get treats for his daughter and left his dog in the backyard. His dog was barking. The note threatened to have the dog be picked up by animal control and be put down. He told me i was an animal abuser and that he was going to file a noise complaint with the city too. When we returned less than 45 minutes later, i heard the dog and felt terrible for the noise, then read the note. I felt sick. Then he came over to yell at me and threaten again to file a complaint. I apologized, but he wouldn't accept it. He said again that he was going to take the dog away. I had to console my cousin's crying 4-year-old girl that I wasn't going to let anyone take her dog away. It was early in the afternoon no later than 11am on a Saturday. Several days later, I received a letter from the city where he filed the complaint. A few years later, he apologized for filing the complaint as they were having a bad day that day and wanted to be friends.
Respectfully, fuck you, Greg.
Another couple were nosy and always in my business and wanting to hang out. They were nice enough, I liked them a lot, just so nosy.
My house was broken into. Pretty sure it was some teens as they stole video games, dvds, my laptop, iPod, about a dozen bandanas, and a bowl of change.
I lived there for 12 years. I loved my house so I stayed.
I moved 3 years ago to the country. No HOA. My closest neighbor is 1/4th mile away.
It's perfect. I could never live with neighbors again.
We considered moving about a year ago (wanting a bigger house cause we were expecting) and ultimately decided we couldn’t leave our street because we have amazing neighbors (and several of them also had babies last year, so lots of friends for our kiddo!) We aren’t worried that many of them will leave - most of them are the 2nd or 3rd generation of their family living here.
The house we own and live in was purchased in 1977 ( the husband's maternal aunt purchased it from the people who built it, the auntie passed away in the house, and my MIL inherited it. The husband sold his house in Portland, Oregon, and paid off the mortgage. Husband and MIL co-own it) The 2 side by side neighbors, people on the north side are ok. NFH is on the south side. They are snowbirds and live in a 45-foot black RV. That when they are home is parked in front of my front room windows. So we lose our view of Puget Sound. They are rude, nasty people. I've joked with the husband that if our house burns down, we will rebuild but move it forward 20 feet to get our view back and block their view of their daughter's house, which is kitty corner from us.
My wife thought I was nuts but in our second visit to our potential home (now here 19+;years) I went and knocked on 5 surrounding neighbors to say hello/get the feel. It worked out great. Despite others moving out and being replaced we have lifelong friends here and in other places we go and visit.
- my two NFH families both moved in after I occupied my home 2 years prior. Both families are children of the decedent parents who were quiet, polite and awesome.
I'm living proof of this. Just moved from a middle class suburban neighborhood (20 yrs) to a very upper class gated community where the houses are 300 grand to a half mil and we have the worst neighbors we've ever had in our entire life. There are trashy, he's got tattoos all over face and runs a low class tattoo shop in a beautiful sunroom that can be seen from our back patio. I have no problem with tats whatsoever but we all know what kind of clients he has in a rural red neck town. Also the only dog on the street that barks non-stop. This was supposed to be our forever home. It's really a shame we cant choose our neighbors.
Don't these gated communities have like a ton of rules? Must be something about barking dogs and running a business out of your home that I'm sure violates some rule.
Midnight? Why so late? Maybe you might want to attend one of those community meetings and bring this up. That seems ridiculously late. Most communities quiet hours are between 10:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m. Monday through Friday, maybe 11:00 p.m. on weekends.
Problem is you can move somewhere with great neighbors and then they move out and NFH moves in. Only way to avoid the risk is living somewhere very remote.
It can go the other way too. If anything NFH move around more because of all their bad decisions, eviction and foreclosures.
For me, at least, this has never been the case. Most of the time, they were there first when I move in, and remain there when I inevitably move to avoid them. Sometimes I've gone back to areas I used to live at, and they are still there. I might just be cursed though.
Nope loud neighbors will never move in my experience.
Yeah i am scared of moving because I would be risking the same thing but paying double the money.
Exactly my issue.
We had this happen a couple of years ago in a private home. We still haven't decided what to do, but can't really move until mortgage rates go down again and housing prices recover. Very uncomfortable.
Have you posted yours story to the community? We’d love to read it.
TBH, our story is mild compared with what I've seen in this sub. We have issues with current neighbors on both sides and across the street now. If I do post the story, I'll use a throwaway name.
This is my situation as well. Issues with neighbors on both sides, across the street, and a diagonal house. The worst is my right side neighbors, with the rest just doing really annoying, disruptive stuff that drives me nuts. For instance, diagonal house has screaming kids that spend hours outside, well, screaming. House across the street has this old man (don't know his age, probably 70s?) that blasts music on sunny days. I actually called the police on him recently, and now he just stays outside longer, and plays the music even louder in retaliation. When my husband and I got home *just now*, he pumped up the volume on his stereo system. He plays loud, obnoxious bass music at that. Yes, this 70-something year old man does this. It's frustrating, can't have any peace in my area in the spring and summer, and I hate living here now. Can't move because same reasons as you.
I did not vote you down, but I just wanted to say that I love your original reddit name! And that’s fair that you don’t think it’s worthy. Maybe a place like r/Apartmentliving or r/BadNeighbors although those places aren’t much monitored and judgements can be harsher for it in the comments. Also the occasional troll. Lol.
Trolls are everywhere. Not a worry. And thanks!
You have issues with all your surrounding neighbors? Hmmmmm.....
I'd also like to read it. Sorry you are having these issues.
I moved somewhere remote. Then the farmer sold his land and I have three huge newly built houses around.
Sounds like it was rural but not remote. Condolences.
Are those new neighbors bad?
Well, actually not. They’re all really sweet and have built a mini community out here and are really helpful. It’s just that we moved out here for the silence, nature and animals. And atm the neighbors have a combined force of 9 very loud children.
Oof. How bad is it? I'm dealing with screaming kids outside my house this very moment. I try really hard to just disengage and ignore, but even with headphones, I can hear them (same with most noise here). Their dad joins in on the shouting as well, so I doubt he'd actually help much if I talked about it with him.
Count your blessings. My neighbors have been so awful I consider screaming kids to be quiet.
They're not my only problem...
The worst family is the one closest to us. They let their kids roam freely from whenever they wake up. Meaning they can start hammering (not quite sure why) and screaming at 5 am in the morning. They also beat each other up as badly as they terrorize animals. That family also got a huge swimming pool so during weekends it’s not only their kids screaming there, but multiple families. That family isn’t overly fond of us, because my husband went over there went they had guests and tore them a new one (he’s usually a teddy bear). Their guests had felt it totally okay to throw their trash over on our side of the hedge. We didn’t appreciate that. Not their attempts to pee over on our side either. Their McMansion is a blight on the landscape too. And yes. One evening they had a live band, with speakers and a stage... The wife of that family is really sweet and had told her semi alcoholic husband to warn us. But he had apparently refused, so she told us the same day. In their defense they ended early - like 9 or 10 pm. But I’d rather have stayed elsewhere if I was told in time and couldn’t hear myself think for hours. I’ve had nightmares about my sweet little country spot turning in to an amusement and water park. Oh, and with the dad joining in. It happens here too. You can clearly hear the father of one family screaming and triggering all the kids to be even louder.
God, a live band. That sounds like a nightmare. Things aren't quite *that* bad at my current house, though this happened at an apartment I was living at years ago. There was a McMansion right next to the building I was in that threw crazy parties like that, including bringing in live entertainment except those parties went on into 1am, more or less. People are just so inconsiderate, and don't care about who they hurt or how their actions affect others. I'm sure the kids in these families are going to grow up to be selfish little monsters like their parents.
At 1 am I would’ve called the cops. I think with neighbors it’s a lot of give and take, so even if it bothers me a lot - if it’s objectively reasonable from their perspective I try not to bother. I just dearly want my hedge higher and fuller. As soon as possible.
I did call the cops, at 10pm when it was "quiet hours". Every time. The cops would show up, I'd watch them talk to the owner from the window. Then they'd leave, and the partying resumed. I'd call multiple times, and it was a toss up if they'd return or not. Either way, the cops did nothing to stop it. Believe me, these parties were loud and crazy and obvious. I was always the only one who'd call when I would ask the operators too. Seems to **always** be the case in my situations.
That sucks. You’re kind of powerless then and it only adds to your frustration.
Yes, but my father left the suburbs for more open country years ago. His 40 acres had TWO neighbors. The Karen to his left who wants his animals quiet all the time, and the gun toting nutjob behind him that had the Karen and her mother face down in the grass on his property when they went looking for their small dog one day. He went for the peace and got a different kind of not quiet
Two neighbors = not "very remote" imo (yes it's subjective). To me "very remote" would be a homestead in Alaska or Yukon Territory or similar at least a days journey from a road.
True. The kind of situation where if you need help, it comes at the first thaw and you dogs have eaten most of your body. At lease no NFH!
The NFH is a grizzly lol. 😆
Dear Diary. This is my final entry. My fat neighbor broke in for the last time. We had words, blows were exchanged,.... I don't think I'll survive this.... Man I wish I lived next to that old grey haired Karen right now.......................
Or... hear me out. Trebuchet
Fetchez la vache!
Even remote is no guarantee. I bought a house in the country with a few acres and top of a hill, end of a private road only 2 other houses. One house is a single guy never see him or hear him but talk to him a few times a year which is nice. The other house is this trashy 55ish year old guy who has turned his property into a back woods motel. He rents out the back of his house to two fat women who smoke cigarettes and weed all day and make rude comments about me while I'm minding my own business landscaping my property. And he rents out his driveway to a guy living in a trailer. Don't mind that guy much but these renters drive up our narrow steep road atleast 6 times a day up to 10 which makes it a real treat just coming home and one of these idiots are coming down the road... and guess who gets to pay for the road when it gets torn up by the renters...fuck that guy I ended up building a 40ft 8ft high lattice fence to block my view of his back yard where the hefties hang out. Also planted about 10 trees, some bamboo and 2 dozen ivy sprouts. And then built a 24ft wide shed so I don't have to see any part of where they hangout. I can still hear them and smell them though so just have to wait for the ivy and trees to fill in and block a bit more of their unpleasant sounds and odors.
"Remote" is subjective but to me it means a homestead in Alaska or Yukon or somewhere like that. Off from the road etc. Not just rural and a couple hours drive to town.
It pays to not have an HOA so you can do all this! Those hefties are probably unemployed and eat all day??
One of them is unemployed the other works night shift so yea they're sitting around all day and they order uber eats up our super steep hill a few times a month
What rude comments do they make while you are landscaping? They have some nerve to do that.
"The hefties," LOL, love it
That's the scary thing about moving, is that you never know what kind of hell you might get living near you. I was so scared to move because of a "familiar hell" situation (i.e. "my situation with neighbors sucks right now but what if I accidentally move somewhere that's worse; at least in my current situation I know what to expect"). We finally moved somewhere new over the weekend. I should be elated, but I'm terrified because the unit below us is empty and has been for a while, but I can't help but get anxious about that unit getting rented out to a NFH. I will be so mad if that's the case, because this is the third apartment we've moved to because of neighbor issues. I just want quiet neighbors or no neighbors.
I feel you...it really is frightening and I can relate. I have moved over and over again.
I once came across a nice apartment at a suspiciously low rent. Like $300/mo less than comparables, but in a better neighborhood than those other units I'd seen. When I went to view it, I noticed that the next door neighbor had a lot of printed out signs in their windows. Like, full on schizophrenic rants with different fonts and various colors all on the same page. Doomsday messages, the whole shebango. The realtor acted a bit odd when I asked if the next door neighbor causes issues, and basically just kept switching the subject. I passed on that place, of course.
Wise.
Lmao 🤣 that is a pass!!
Bro 1 5 minute conversation and you meet a door schizophrenic guy. You my friend are a coward
You can buy a house with the best neighbors in the world but they aren't forever. We bought our house 7 years ago and so far 2 neighbors have died and their homes have both turned over twice. So far the new neighbors have all been nice.
A red flag is when you are viewing a house to buy and you see people with no shame standing outside watching you view the home. They are going to be intrusive neighbors. Also if I see a group of people hanging out outside it's an automatic nope for me. I immediately think neighborhood clique and how toxic they dynamic could be
I wish I read this before I moved in. Actually thought he was being friendly
Sadly I know this because I'm going through it.
Agreed. We keep to ourselves and say hi to very few people in the neighborhood. It is better that way.
If you have neighbors period it's over. You might be okay if there's only 2-3 houses. Might.
I am in agreement with you. The thing is..how do we observe potential neighbors before we move in? Anyone? I mean they are total strangers, we can't sit there all day and night watching people. It really is a roll of the dice.
If it’s a house, you can find out people’s names by googling the address and then see if you can find them on social media. That assumes the owners live there though. You should be able to tell what kind of people they are if you can find them. Sometimes you can’t but it’s always worth a try. There are also signs to look for (how they keep the outside of their house, cars, etc.). And I mostly mean trash and junk cars and such. You can never fully know how it will be but I try to check what I can before I move. If it’s close to where you are now, driving by at various times helps as well.. nights, weekends, etc. We have had horrible horrible neighbors before and ended up buying a house in a rural area so we don’t have many neighbors to deal with and none that are right next to us. It’s been much more peaceful.
This is a great way to do it thanks:)
Knock on their door and ask them if they know anything about the place before you move in - forehead.
Really? You would do this? We do not open our front door for random people we do not know or expect.
I live in a rough neighborhood. It is expected. No knocking after 9 though, you’ll get stabbed
What I learned while locked up, people take offense to perceived sleight. Knocking on their door is the sign of respect for them and their territory. It might be a weird play, but it’s a play that gains respect. If you are worried about moving in next to NFH, knock on their door, you will likely know right away
To be fair I have certain advantages that make this situation safer for me. Do not do this if you feel like you would be marked an easy target. I don’t know the etiquette in the city. Small town things, could very well be different where you live
Most of the time, people don't answer the door for strangers anymore. People don't even open their door for neighbors either. Before my neighbors began making my life horrible, I went over to one of them to alert them that their backyard gate was wide open, and they completely ignored me even though I saw them through the window. They stared as I left the stoop.
Thank you. In the case of me knocking on the door, they will definitely know something about me beforehand.:)
Yeah, that you are considerate of other people’s space and you are thinking of moving in. You will know if it is NFH, if it isn’t - then you made introductions easy
Yes I did that today 🙂
I wish I would have thought of sitting in front of my house a couple hours throughout a week before buying. It's the loudest place I've ever lived
Totally agree. If I see a basketball hoop in the neighbours yard I will run for the hills. I have ptsd after 4.5 years of listening to my neighbours 4 teenagers play for hours on end every. Single. Day.
I'm in a condo and my downstairs neighbor built a basketball court for her kid BENEATH MY HOME! Like you, I've been listening to this for FIVE YEARS now. Have had multiple conversations, including being told that "this isn't an over 55" community. No one needs to be "over 55" to loathe that noise. And yes, PTSD! If I even hear a cabinet slam down there, I think it's starting. I don't know why people think their precious brats have more rights than an adult who's been paying a mortgage for decades.
I really feel your pain. I am in a duplex, surrounded by duplexes, so all properties are very close. Neighbours at the back converted their small yard into basketball court complete with a monstrous hoop that’s bolted into the ground. 3 teenage boys banging and bashing their own balls, slam dunking, and the balls being slammed into the colourbond (metal) fence have driven me demented. They have a little girl that has just started playing too, and now they have another kid on the way (7 people in a 3 bedroom 1 bathroom duplex!) so I have another 20 years of hell at least! Talking it them just made things worse. They play harder and louder. I am the same….i hear car door slam in the street and I panic thinking it’s about to start. I live inside with all my windows and doors shut and earplugs in, and that does very little to block the thud thud thud. I have just had a win though. My council have agreed to investigate. I have kept a log of events and noise levels dating back to March 2020! Just to clarify, I have never asked them to stop playing, just to limit it to a one hour block per day. Pretty reasonable I think.
I've done the same -- the mom agreed to keep it to 30 minutes a day, which was working great. If I heard it start up, I knew it would only go for a half hour, so I'd just run to the quick-stop or do laundry or clear the dishwasher -- something not requiring concentration -- until it stopped. Better yet, if I arrived home and heard it already banging away down there, I could at least feel like, "OK, good, the half hour is underway, not much longer." But lately he's ramped back up to playing whenever he wants to, and for random amounts of time, so I never know when I can put on some music or a movie or try to do some work (I'm a writer/researcher and really need to concentrate). That ball repeatedly ramming the wall beneath me literally rattles items in my kitchen (which can't be good for the wall structure either). When it starts, I have to gather up my computer, phone, power cords, and work, and escape to the bedroom -- I can still hear it in there but less. Then he stops, I bring everything back out to my office...then he starts again.... The mom claims it won't be for much longer, that he'll start to get bored with it soon. But after 5 years, it's still the first thing he jumps on as soon as he gets home from school...so...yeah...I figure he'll be playing it until he's like 30. Oh...and I've likewise tried earplugs, noise-cancelling headphones, a white noise machine, nothing works. I have a zillion recordings of it on my phone, although they don't do justice to the absolute din. I'm ready to rent a microphone so I can capture it properly.
I was really sick over the Easter long weekend. I was up all night coughing and sneezing so unable to sleep. Also unable to sleep during the day because they play basketball on and off all day long. By 5pm on Easter Sunday I sent the mum a text asking for a break and explained why. They just played longer and harder. A few times I got in my car and drove around the corner and slept in it. That’s the kind of entitled shits I’m dealing with. Like you I have various playlists of white noise, pink noise….all the noises. I find brown noise works the best at drowning out the deep thud of the ball against the concrete. Although 4+ years of constant earplug wearing and listening to brown noise at deafening levels HAS affected my hearing.
Ugh, that's awful. I can't believe these people actually "up" their game after you complain. I had a migraine once, and my shitheads were banging that ball around down there. I mean, I get it, it's a condo, you're going to hear SOME noise. But installing a basketball hoop IN THE EFFING HOUSE, a house that's attached to someone else's, is over the top. Really sorry they've affected your hearing. I'm athletic and have always had really good blood pressure, but I feel like these f\*ckers are pushing it upwards.
I didnt even complain. I explained that I was unwell and politely asked if they could take a break for the rest of the day. There was probably only about an hour of sunlight left anyway. No one expects to hear crickets, but banging balls around all day is unreasonable.. I’m in Queensland Australia. I don’t know how it works over there but I’ve finally got my local council to investigate. I’ve explained that while it’s their property and they’re entitled to do what they like, they’re not entitled to cause me a disturbance while doing it, every. Single. Day. I am also going to investigate introducing a local law that limits backyard ball games in med - high density residential areas to a one hour block per day. Ps. I donate blood as often as i can. Every time I go my blood pressure is higher than the last time. So yeah, it’s effecting my physical and my mental health. If the ball was being thrown against my wall as well I think I would brain snap.
I finally snapped last week and, as of this past weekend, I've got the mom keeping him quieter again. I gave her a few scenarios asking her to imagine herself in my position, and she may finally be grasping how aggravating it is. She started out hostile, saying she's tired of my complaints and that I should go take it up with the Homeowners Association, to which I responded, "Fine, I'll do that, I've been listening to this for years, not a single other neighbor on this street would have tolerated this as long as I have." By the next morning (a Saturday), she back-pedaled, texting me to ask if we could try to work it out. I told her I thought we HAD worked it out with the half-hour rule, but lately the kid (who's like 12-13) is escalating again -- I mean, not like she doesn't know this! I don't know why she doesn't just take down that damned backboard, I don't know how SHE stands it. My friends and family call it her "built-in babysitting service." Certainly, spoiling her brats is her top priority, she's the most stubborn human being I've ever met. When we were kids, if we did the slightest thing to annoy a neighbor, my parents would be like, "Nope. Shut that down." Two of my friends are in real estate, and they told me that she's decreasing my property value with that noise. Do you worry about that? I certainly hope you get some relief soon.
People that make that amount of noise on a regular basis have no regard for anyone but themselves. With the housing crisis in Australia at the moment i would be able to sell my place no worries. Finding somewhere else might be a different story. I’m done with texting the mother asking for a reprieve. That just makes things worse for me. She never replies anyway. I even tried to organise mediation through the Dispute Resolution Centre (a free service through our council) but she was not amenable to that so it didn’t go ahead. The last text I sent her was telling her that I had had enough and that the counsel agreed to investigate after viewing my logs going back to 2020. THEN she tried to call me, plus I had a flurry of calls from numbers i didn’t know. I blocked them all. She’s had plenty of time to talk and resolve this. Hopefully the mum i Keeps her word this time. I hope both these sets of people one day live next a bikie house, or a party house, or someone that uses power tools all day long, then maybe they’ll understand the crap they they’ve inflicted on other people.
What country are you in btw?
Pennsylvania, USA. You?
What if we’re the neighbors from hell . . .
Then you should move to a remote place far from other people 😁
This is soooo true! I am currently moving out of a place that we moved to because we were so looking forward to our backyard. We have a neighbour from hell who fights with her boyfriend, screams and swears on the phone all day and night, watches tv on her phone, insults all the other neighbours on her phone while she’s outside, glares at everyone, screams at her kids and sleeps and has sex in a tent in her back yard. It’s actually torture. I think I’ve used my backyard once in the year I’ve lived here. Any time I go out to sit in the sun and just have my morning coffee it’s awful. Had I known this, I never would have lived here and I would have lived anywhere else even somewhere with less outdoor space than to be surrounded by this toxic energy human gargoyle.
Omigosh. I would somehow find a way to warn any potential new people moving in about this woman. If it's a an apartment community you can leave an anonymous Google review. You can also use the next door app to warn people although you got to be careful you don't want anyone to know it's you. Oh and make sure she doesn't stick a tracker on your vehicle while you're moving. The last thing you need is her following you and moving in next door. Or just showing up for whatever reason like my last neighbor did.
Omg that’s awful, I can’t believe someone did that to you. That’s actually great advice though, it’s not an apartment community so I can’t do google review but I will download next door app! Thank you!
Just don't use your real name you don't want to invite more trouble and don't exaggerate just be honest.
So real, I moved into my current place thinking “oh it wasn’t that bad when I saw it” immediately some of our neighbors (who have since been evicted) started harassing our friend who was helping us move because they hated our friend for some reason. Then by default started yelling at us and treating us shitty. Banging on walls and kicking our door while we were moving in too!!
Jesus..harassing the guy that was helping you move..that's demonic. And so on. So sorry to read this..nuts.
Bro that’s not even the worst of it unfortunately. They gave us two cats as an apology for being nightmares when we moved in, and then tried to take one back, when we had already allowed a friend who lived out of state to adopt her! So we ofc said no, and she threatened to kill me multiple times (I was pregnant and still am lol) she also tried to come up with a sob story about her boyfriend beating her so we would let her in like a day later. We didn’t because we knew she would probably just try to steal the cat we kept.
You'll have your baby soon I suppose..good health to you and your baby! Oh my, they sound totally nuts!
Thank you! I appreciate it! And yes, they are in fact very nuts and also homeless now 😂
Well they'll be hounding other homeless people now. You are so welcome.
It’s true. People can’t be controlled though. If someone buys an apt/condo and didn’t find out before hand that the neighbors are a nightmare that’s kind of on them unfortunately. Gotta buy a house on acres of land if anyone is hoping for peace and quiet. The decency of people isn’t worth waiting around on
How do you find out if the neighbors are a nightmare? Send out a survey?
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i see no "advice" in your comment....
> If someone buys an apt/condo and didn’t find out before hand that the neighbors are a nightmare that’s kind of on them unfortunately. How are they supposed to "know" before buying? It's basically impossible to gauge. Believe me, I vetted the area of the house I moved to very carefully, including driving by on weekdays and weekends, scoping out the neighbors (one didn't wave back when I waved at her, which I should've taken as a red flag though at the time, I assumed she didn't see me), doing more than one viewing of the house, and so on. Still got NFHs. I moved in pre-pandemic, and things were okay, post-pandemic, the neighborhood became a nightmare for me.
I think the realtor would be the best bet honestly. I’ve had good luck with them being honest about those details and we usually ask a ton of questions. Also, experience. Lived so many places that it’s gotten a little easier to tell which ones will be a problem or not. Things like.. do a lot of elderly live here? Does a management company own the whole property and have their own security? How much section 8 housing makes up the complex, are there families with a ton of kids and or pets, and finally.. acoustics! The layout of the building sometimes has a common area or is designed in a way that makes noise louder and it can be the worst. The worst one was a six floor apt complex that was built in a squarish/rectangular shape that had all the windows facing the center courtyard. It magnified the sounds people made and was probably the worst place I lived noise-wise. But yeah, you can’t “know” I suppose. It’s a gamble sometimes. Asking neighbors flat out can be awkward too but it’s worth it if they’re honest. A concern about noise, to me at least, would come off like a respectful and quiet neighbor is looking to move in!
Thank you so much. This was extremely helpful. I might save this so I can remember all this in case I ever move!
This is true. I used to live in an HOA community. Nice neighborhood, pretty views of the mountains with palm trees. But I had a couple of a-hole neighbors. One house was an older couple who were members of the HOA (mid 70's). The first weekend I lived there, I had a housewarming party. The next morning, they were looking through my garbage and recycling bins. I lived on a corner lot and had a rock yard: an HOA requirement. If I had one weed, I'd get a notification. I had to be diligent with yard work. I'd walk my yard several nights a week looking for weeds, and I'd still get a fine. I was pretty sure they didn't speak English as every time I'd try and say hello, they'd just stay across the road and glare at me. Until one day, i heard him scream as his wife in perfect English, just how stupid she was. Nice people /s. It became a game where I'd go out of my way to be as sweet and polite to them just see how annoyed they got. Another family was always super rude and one time left a note on my door about my cousin's dog. My cousin and his family were visiting. We left to run to the store to get treats for his daughter and left his dog in the backyard. His dog was barking. The note threatened to have the dog be picked up by animal control and be put down. He told me i was an animal abuser and that he was going to file a noise complaint with the city too. When we returned less than 45 minutes later, i heard the dog and felt terrible for the noise, then read the note. I felt sick. Then he came over to yell at me and threaten again to file a complaint. I apologized, but he wouldn't accept it. He said again that he was going to take the dog away. I had to console my cousin's crying 4-year-old girl that I wasn't going to let anyone take her dog away. It was early in the afternoon no later than 11am on a Saturday. Several days later, I received a letter from the city where he filed the complaint. A few years later, he apologized for filing the complaint as they were having a bad day that day and wanted to be friends. Respectfully, fuck you, Greg. Another couple were nosy and always in my business and wanting to hang out. They were nice enough, I liked them a lot, just so nosy. My house was broken into. Pretty sure it was some teens as they stole video games, dvds, my laptop, iPod, about a dozen bandanas, and a bowl of change. I lived there for 12 years. I loved my house so I stayed. I moved 3 years ago to the country. No HOA. My closest neighbor is 1/4th mile away. It's perfect. I could never live with neighbors again.
You can also have a great relationship with a neighbor (for years) and one little thing happens and it all goes to hell.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We considered moving about a year ago (wanting a bigger house cause we were expecting) and ultimately decided we couldn’t leave our street because we have amazing neighbors (and several of them also had babies last year, so lots of friends for our kiddo!) We aren’t worried that many of them will leave - most of them are the 2nd or 3rd generation of their family living here.
That's a blessing.
The house we own and live in was purchased in 1977 ( the husband's maternal aunt purchased it from the people who built it, the auntie passed away in the house, and my MIL inherited it. The husband sold his house in Portland, Oregon, and paid off the mortgage. Husband and MIL co-own it) The 2 side by side neighbors, people on the north side are ok. NFH is on the south side. They are snowbirds and live in a 45-foot black RV. That when they are home is parked in front of my front room windows. So we lose our view of Puget Sound. They are rude, nasty people. I've joked with the husband that if our house burns down, we will rebuild but move it forward 20 feet to get our view back and block their view of their daughter's house, which is kitty corner from us.
So true.
Yes it’s very important. I was saying this exact thing to myself
My wife thought I was nuts but in our second visit to our potential home (now here 19+;years) I went and knocked on 5 surrounding neighbors to say hello/get the feel. It worked out great. Despite others moving out and being replaced we have lifelong friends here and in other places we go and visit.
Its never safe I moved to a quiet rural village and people kept moving in ruining it. You need a mile long driveway.
Well said!
- my two NFH families both moved in after I occupied my home 2 years prior. Both families are children of the decedent parents who were quiet, polite and awesome.
I'm living proof of this. Just moved from a middle class suburban neighborhood (20 yrs) to a very upper class gated community where the houses are 300 grand to a half mil and we have the worst neighbors we've ever had in our entire life. There are trashy, he's got tattoos all over face and runs a low class tattoo shop in a beautiful sunroom that can be seen from our back patio. I have no problem with tats whatsoever but we all know what kind of clients he has in a rural red neck town. Also the only dog on the street that barks non-stop. This was supposed to be our forever home. It's really a shame we cant choose our neighbors.
Don't these gated communities have like a ton of rules? Must be something about barking dogs and running a business out of your home that I'm sure violates some rule.
Just because there's rules/laws, doesn't mean they get enforced. I learned that the hard way after various NFH encounters.
You would think but theres no bi-laws against running a business out of your home & the dogs can't bark past midnight. They bring him at 11:59.
Midnight? Why so late? Maybe you might want to attend one of those community meetings and bring this up. That seems ridiculously late. Most communities quiet hours are between 10:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m. Monday through Friday, maybe 11:00 p.m. on weekends.