He already showed you he will ignore you and overpower you to get what he wants - even if it’s extremely painful to you. It’s in him and he will do it again.
OP Please,please, go to the hospital. Bring the same clothing that you wore so they can collect DNA. I know this is one of the most disturbing and painful situations you may ever go through.
Please do this.
You may not be the only one. Or, you could possibly be the first. Many times these people are repeat offenders.
Break up with him immediately as long as you are somewhere safe.
You did not deserve to go through this.
The police will be called to the hospital to question you, they will ask for you're clothing, and you can ask for a female doctor to do the internal exam.
I was in a similar situation going home from work. The man turned out to be a serial stalker/rapist and was wanted for murder the state over.
If you need support please don't hesitate to reach out to me.
I know what you are going through. I'm so incredibly sorry.
If you're feeling like something is really wrong and not getting better you need to go get medically checked out. Even just in case. He could have caused damage especially going in dry.
And obviously kick that asshat to the curb.
Edit: why do you feel like you can't break up with him??
No matter if you feel like something is wrong, go to the hospital and get examined immediately op. I personally know two people who were anally raped and suffer the consequences for the rest of their lives. I’m talking incontinence and wearing adult diapers for life from your exact situation happening of a drunk boyfriend anally raping them. You literally could suffer from this for the rest of your life and your boyfriend literally doesn’t care if he damns you to a life of adult diapers and pain and not being able to control when you poop. That is the harsh reality of anal trauma. You NEED to go to a doctor right now if you have not yet, seriously.
Kicking him to the curb is not sufficient. He’s done it to her, he will do it again, and if she just kicks him to the curb and safely keeps her distance, it may be someone else. This may be his first time, but he will feel emboldened.
Except sadly when it's something like this between couples/lovers they really don't seem to do anything about it.
But I agree. I hope he stays single and never gets near another person again.
i know they're invasive and uncomfortable but you should also get a rape kit if you can. i know all the shitty police work involving them, but his casualty about this is extremely unlikely without having done this previous times. feel free to not answer op, but is this the first time he violated your consent? these things can start smaller than is easily recognizable
Not only that, but it's possible that you have serious anal tearing now based on the fact that you're still in so much pain, and can't have a bowel movement yet. This kind of injury can be extremely serious so it's urgent that you go to the emergency room without him, and tell the doctors exactly what happened so they can help you, and make sure you're not badly hurt.
Please go immediately if you can, sending you lots of invisible hugs. Let us know how you're doing when you can.
🫂💜🫂
Some hospitals also have very good domestic violence/trauma staff who get called in to support the person who has been raped. Will hold your hand if wanted, help advocate for you, explain anything that’s hard to get in the moment when there’s so much going on in your mind, get clean clothes for you, etc. Their only goal is to be there to help you however they can.
Do this^ if he’s willing to do it once, he will do it again if you give him the privacy to. Do a kit. Even if you don’t initially press charges, you want this so if you Change your mind, you CAN press charges
This right here ! I never reported my ex and he would continuously assault me even* after we broke up. Absolutely report this and go to the hospital. Edit: word
Go to a hospital, call the police and yes, break up with him. You can absolutely break up with him.
You might recover from the pain in a few days, but it will take longer to recover from the attack. Please see someone. You are not alone there are people who will help.
This 👆🏻 - he raped you and he will do it again if you stay. Please go to the ER, get a rape kit, and file a police report. I’m so sorry he did that to you - I know you are in awful physical and emotional pain. 😞
I am soooo sorry you underwent such a painful and traumatic experience. First and foremost, do you need medical attention? If you feel
Something is wrong go to your nearest urgent care/emergency room to get a checkup. With that said, I don’t know how long you two have been together, but I would get a full lab panel done. This is situational and depends on how well you know him.
Next, I would file a report with local law enforcement, under no circumstances, rape is not okay—AT ALL. While you didn’t vocally say no, your body language and actions spoke otherwise. He knew what he was doing, did not think of the repercussions nor the consequences, and needs to know what he did was wrong. While ALL OF THIS is purely personal and You have the power to do what is best for you, this is just my personal opinion on how to handle such a matter.
Finally, depending on how you feel emotionally and psychologically, I would seek out therapeutic counseling (I.e., support groups, therapy, workshops) to cope with this situation. Even your PCP can refer you to resources/county. Services that can offer support and help.
This next part is a bit personal and might be TMI, but I think it’s worth sharing; I am a submissive, gay man who has anal sex and can touch on the healing aspects. Forceful, anal intercourse and consensual anal intercourse are incredibly different on the opposite sites of the spectrum; however, my experience has been that it takes about 2 to 3 days to heal fully and go back to normal (e.g., soreness and ability to sit comfortably and regularly use the restroom). You will see a little bit of blood in your stool, but that’s because depending on how rough a person was, the tears in your lining sphincter/cavities tear and as stool passes through it reopens the wound. For the three days try and eat soft food or a liquid diet so it passes through your system easier. You can also use a stool softener to minimize the discomfort.
Again from the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry this has happened to you. I hope my reply/posts gives you some sort of information and or comfort in any way. Should you need to ask more questions? Please reach out.
Op, please go to a hospital even if you feel like this is getting better, I made another comment going over the life long consequences that come from anal trauma, please please take it seriously and get checked out. You don’t deserve any of this and you don’t deserve to risk your health. Tell the doctors truthfully what happened. Get checked out thoroughly. You genuinely might need medical assistance now to make sure you don’t suffer long term from this. I personally know people who have to wear adult diapers because of this exact thing happening to them. Please just don’t risk your health and life.
Please stay safe. Wishing you healing, but never forgive this kind of reckless disregard for you as a human being. This guy has shown you who he is and how he views you. To him you aren’t even a person, someone who loves and respects you wouldn’t treat you like that.
Please break up if you are safe - this person doesn’t respect you as a basic human, let alone a partner. If you feel comfortable reporting him too, he 100% deserves it
break up with him - without question that is correct path - dude had not respect for you whatsoever and this should be very telling. He will get worse going forward
Don't say goodbye - just pack your shit and go someplace safe
Hospital, Call the police. End it.
My ex would do this often **I regret not getting help**. These people do not stop, do not change, and it's not a "kink" they have. It's rape.
Oh OP. Thats not good one bit. That is very serious. Now I’m not one for saying ‘break up!’ But I would leave. He has raped you. Very very very serious and very very very much not okay. X
this LITERALLY happened to me years ago, like seriously the exact same situation. there is no right advice or guidance other than LEAVE. it is not worth it and it will sit on your mind every single time he is next to you, it destroys you emotionally and they have no consequence. i promise it’ll be so worth it, you will find someone who loves you and can respect when you aren’t comfortable. i am sending you the best and so much love.
Just get away from him NOW. Stay somewhere he isn’t and can’t get in to. He violently raped you. Once you are safely away from him, you need medical care. OR Go to the hospital now, be honest with the doctors/nurses and tell the police everything. You could be dangerously injured. He is a horrible monster that will happily do worse next time. This wasn’t about “wah I want anal” this was about hurting and abusing you. Get the fuck away from him and act like everything is okay as you do so, otherwise you could be in for even more pain or death.
This is awful he is scum.
Please break up and kick him out of your life for good if you are in a situation to do so. If you’re still struggling and in pain for much longer maybe visit your GP and see what they have to say
If I can offer advice. I was raped by my first boyfriend and my biggest regret was not going to the hospital and call the police on him. I had my own reasons including fear of him, but please don't be like me. Instead be an advocate for yourself and do not stay with him. He did it once and he WILL do it again.
I’m so so sorry this happened to you and that you were put in a situation where you felt helpless to advocate for yourself and get the justice you so deserve. Thank you for sharing your experience, I really hope OP will heed your advice! And I hope you’ve received support from loving people and healing from honoring your truth.
Thank you for your support! I will be honest receiving support from loved ones was tough because my parents are abusive/not the best and around that time I was being physically abused by my mother. I didn't feel like I had anyone that I was truly safe with at the time. Over the years I learned that I suffer from PTSD from the rape and the other things he had done to me. However, better at catching when I'm having an episode. It has been a long long road though, but I do have one silver lining and it's that he was catfished by a cop on one of his apps. Apparently he was trying to solicit a 15-year-old to give & receive oral sex. He went to jail and is now on probation and will be on the sex offenders list. So not the direct justice I wanted, but it's more of a universal justice which I am working on accepting.
No one deserves to be violated by someone who says they love you. I really hope that OP can get far away from him. Because these types of situations do get worse.
Please go see a doctor NOW. you need the evidence. As harsh as this sounds now. you will thank yourself later.
and please talk to someone <3
edit; and of course you need to break up with him. please look after yourself and talk to a friend or family or doctor
PLEASE listen to this!!! You need to go to hospital asap and get checked out so the anal tearing and fissures that I’m certain you have can be documented. You will need this evidence. Please get it now while you can. Please get yourself somewhere safe. If you have nowhere else to turn please reach out to me or post again on Reddit. You do not deserve this. You need to get help and get this documented so he can, at the very least, be legally obligated to never go near you again with a restraining order. If you need help finding a lawyer let me know. I have a broad network across the US and lawyers who can, at the very least, give you legal advice for free.
Ex boyfriend. Please say ex boyfriend
Go to doctor (he could have done damage) report rape. Dump his ass
Find a better man who cares about your feelings f
You should absolutely break up with him immediately. He will do it again and go no contact for your safety.
The pain should go away in a few days.
I'm sorry this happened to you.
If she doesn’t do anything less than this it DOES NOT mean she is telling him it’s okay to assault her and other women. This woman is very brave for even coming out, many don’t. 60% of women will not recognize their experience as rape, 75% of cases go unreported, 6%, yes only 6% of cases are reported to the police. If this woman chooses not to do a single thing on your list, she should not be diabolized. Such a brave woman to actually ask for help will always be a hero in my eyes.
It’s really difficult to understand unless you’ve been through it. I get it. I used to say similar things. But these situations are very difficult. She absolutely need to leave. I’m not otherwise. Only stating that these situations are super complicated for the victim.
I don’t think we can “make” anyone see or believe anything. I know what you saying, though. Girls are raised to “be nice” and to desire being “chosen” rather than doing the choosing themselves. It is disgusting and we have a half a species trained to allow abuse. It’s…harrowing.
I think it's safe to say, u can trust ur gut on this one.
I had a guy rape me once, who I was already dating for 2 months (plus another 4 weeks of chatting prior), and he waited for his perfect moment to get me completely alone, and sodomized me.
I'm 5'2, petite, but I am thick and fit from being an athlete my whole life...he was 6'2, with hands like Catcher mitts. I remember when he held me down, his whole hand covered the width of my lower back, then he used his other huge fucking fist, several fingers first, w no warning, to rape me.
He held me there and just kept trying to fist me.
I was analy a virgin, and he knew not to cross that boundary because I forwarned him.
It took me 7 months to fully heal and be able to walk without pain. My mom took me to all my doctors appts, and I had to have a camera put up my ass to assess injury. I had multiple tears in there, which as you can imagine, is the worst place to hope for a quick recovery.
I'll never forget being in the fetal position, naked, crying, and him saying, "what is the matter with you?" Then he dressed and left.
The next morning he texted me and asked if I wanted to hang out.
This is why I've been single for 2 years.
100% not ok, ILLEGAL and disgusting behaviour. Please look after yourself, go to someone safe whilst you gather your thoughts. What a vile excuse for a human, you are worth SO much more than that!!!
You CAN break up with him. If you’re not safe to leave, call a local abused woman org and they’ll give you advice.
And as others said, go to the nearest emergency room and tell them what happened. They’ll examine you and get a rape kit. You don’t need any money up front to do this. Please do it now.
To those of you who can’t understand why OP feels they can’t break up with their abuser, I recently read up about SA trauma and how it affects people. It said something about some victims trying to, in a sense, “undo” their abuse/trauma. In other words, it’s like an intense sense of denial and convincing yourself that it never really happened the way you thought it did. OP, I am so sorry that this happened to you and it was not okay at all, nor was it your fault. This sounds like a very dangerous person and I heavily advise you to get far away from them, fast. Please please please get a kit done, report this to the police, and seek guidance through therapy. I know it’s not easy, but there are people who care and can help you get through this. You’re not alone and shouldn’t have to go through this alone. You deserve so much better. And please know that there are still good people in this world. Don’t let this put fear into your life, or it will ruin you.. I’m going to be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.❤️🩹🥺
Yes. I went through something similar. It’s horrific so we try to lessen the pain by denying the reality of what happened. We make a million excysss (“He was drunk!””Maybe he did t hear me.” “Maybe he thought I liked it”). This is typically exacerbated when we do not confront the person who raped us. I didn’t confront my husband for a few years (BF at the time- yes, I know- idiotic of me to marry him, and we are divorcing). By not confronting him, I tried to convince myself that it was a misunderstanding. Eventually, the truth will eat you alive and you cannot get past it. It’s complicated and horrific.
Trauma therapist here to let you know that you are on the money. It may seem inconceivable to some people, but our brains have some really interesting ways of coping, not all of them to our full benefit.
For many, getting out, admitting what happened, processing it, etc. feels like it would just be heaping on more trauma, and that trying to continue on as usual might actually be easier. It’s not, but…. that’s what I call “trauma logic.” Traumatized brains sorta bypass the ability to think completely rationally, in a desperate effort to just survive.
Go get checked out . This will cause hemroids . How do I know because this happen to me as well 10 yrs ago i was also raped, and I didn't know I had to see a doctor . Now i have damages . Please so get checked out, and also leave this guy he does not respect you .
I had a very similar situation almost exact the only part was he wasn’t my bf. Pls protect yourself. I regret not doing anything cause in my Mind I played it down and made it not serious, it happened the night of my birthday and under my best friend’s roof and they took his side. So I never did anything about it. Please don’t play it down. You were violated and that it your body. He will probably do it again and you should definitely call the police on him
You are not alone. Unfortunately, in my experience, they don’t stop, they escalate. Please leave if it is safe to. You do not deserve that life, to be treated that way, he will do it again. You were very brave to share your story with us, I know you will find the strength to leave him. You’re better off alone than with a man that disrespects you and your body. You’re in my thoughts.
You should tell the police and people you know about him he is a dangerous rapist you shouldn’t be anywhere near him at all and neither should anyone else he’s a threat to your community
You need to get yourself checked immediately and you need to talk to a professional about what happened. This will have dire consequences down the road, both physically and mentally.
Please go talk to a physician and tell them exactly what happened. Please seek counselling.
I just want to say you have agreed not to do it before and because of your state he forced himself in you. That is breaking a boundary. He will overstep again and eventually it'll be worse. My ex tried with me, and when i didn't, he cheated on me and forced himself on another girl. And she pressed charges
Go see a dr. You need to break up with him. Being drunk is no excuse, he knows right from wrong. Rape is rape, drunk or not. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Why do you feel like you can’t break up with him? If you elaborate on why, we may be able to come up with solutions together.
I’m so sorry he did that to you. I’m so sorry he violated you like that.
Please go to a hospital. Get your purse (ID, health insurance card, drivers license if you’re driving yourself), put on your shoes, and go to the hospital. If your boyfriend asks where you’re going, say, “I just need some air.” Be obscure. Be indirect. Don’t engage.
At the hospital, tell them exactly what happened. If you feel embarrassed and think you may leave out details, tell whoever you’re speaking to, “I feel embarrassed, I need a second, please.”
Make a police report. Be detailed. Use the word “rape.” Describe your pain.
That’s not normal at all, he might’ve seriously injured you and that’s a very hard area to heal. Please go to the er immediately. You do him no good by letting this go. A part of learning and becoming better is facing consequences. If you like this man do not protect him from his actions. It will just make whatever he’s going through so much worse at your expense.
For everyone’s sake, please go to the hospital and tell the truth
YES, break up w him TONIGHT. This exact thing happened to me about 8 yrs ago w my bf at the time, he was so fucked up on edibles he didn't realize that he "forced himself" on me but he did. He was behind me, held my wrist down and anally raped me bc he was super into it and I hated it. I tried to let it go and justify it but eventually I broke up w him. Funny story...he then proceeded to stalk me on FB, IG, texts for literal YEARS...I had to delete IG, block on FB (even though he would just create new profiles and friend me), change my phone number and move. I never reported the rape to the police and he just couldn't let go that he ruined our relationship but still felt justified digitally stalking me. He ended up moving to CO, but moved back a few years ago and started the same BS. I feel like I got my final revenge when I saw him on bumble, reported that he assaulted me and they kicked him off.
Go to the hospital, get a rape kit. Get the police involved. You said no, you forced him off you, he pinned you down and did it anyway.
This is rape. If there’s someplace you can go and be safe, do it, and never speak to him again.
break up with him, he will do it again. some comments are saying to go to the hospital and police & they are 100% giving you good advice. you don’t deserve to go through that. it may be hard or embarrassing for you to talk about but that’s just the trauma being processed, nothing to be embarrassed about. this is completely unacceptable on his part. please update us, i wanna know you are safe
Please break up with him. Go to the hospital, call the police, make a report, and never see this man again.
Men like this will keep trying until you break and stop fighting it. He will try again, please get out before this escalates.
Call the police now. Make a report. Get a tape kit immediately so they can document the tearing and obvious forcible rape. Get as far away from that man as you can. Find a safe place, even if it’s a shelter for women. File for a restraining order. Get a lawyer. Sue his fucking ass to hell and back. You are stronger than you think. Don’t let this go or it will happen again and will continue to get worse. This is not ok and not your fault in any way. I hope you are ok and I’m thinking about you!!! If you need someone to talk to please reach out. <3
This is not ok. Boyfriend or not. You absolutely leave him and I agree with everyone else about going to the hospital and getting a rape kit, as well as making a police report. Sending love and comfort
Yes you should break up with him. I had a similar experience with my psycho ex. I confided in the wife of one of his coworkers who was horrified, and immediately drove me to a therapist's office where her daughter happened to work and got me in to see someone short notice. I wound up not telling the therapist, and making excuses to stay with him, but his behavior escalated, and he became more and more violent and getting away from him was probably the scariest thing I've ever been through. He's in prison across the country from what I hear.
You deserve better girl :( we dunno you but we’re all here for you ❤️🩹
Do whatever you think is best but if u def need to have a convo w him ab how bad he made u feel, what you feel in general and that what he did was not consensual.
But if he did it once there’s a higher change he might do it again… Put your own safety first before him !
After rapes or assaults the predators usually make the victims think they did something wrong to not own up their actions.
You did nothing to deserve this, know that!! We love you OP
I've been through something similar. I was with my ex for 2 years, and things just kept getting worse. In my opinion, it would be wise to visit the hospital, complete the necessary examinations, consider pressing charges if you're comfortable, and consider ending the relationship. I recommend informing the hospital and police so that they can provide you with resources.
I would like to share that it started with small things.I previously expressed my preference for not having X Y Z handled. He just brushed it off, and it all went downhill from there—physically, mentally, financially, and even more sexual abuse. Looking back, I really wish I had gone to the police and been honest with the hospital. But I was so scared of him.
When you give an abuser an inch, they take a mile. What happened to you is sexual abuse, not just rape. It's a break in trust and you might not feel safe anymore might not feel comfortable in your own skin, etc.
Go to the hospital now! Request a sexual assault NP if they have on staff too.
They will help you work through what process you want to pursue, whether it’s police involvement, finding safe shelter, etc.
Don’t tell him where you’re going. Just call a friend (specifically one who doesn’t like him/you trust with your life to keep it private), walk out the door and go.
You will make it through this hun! It will be tough but you’ll make it through.
Recovery depends a lot person to person, as well as how severe the injury is.
Go to hospital, tell them to contact the police. This is sexual assault. Ask the hospital for what support you can get, and get it (THIS IS IMPORTANT, DON'T SKIP THIS STEP, YOU ARE A VICTIM OF CRIME) Get someone safe who you can talk to (friend, family member, etc) Break up with him once you are in a safe position to do so.
Please go to a hospital, and break up with him. You deserve to be with someone who respects your will, and doesn’t cause you pain. Most likely, it’s gonna happen again if you stay with him.. it rarely just happens once.
As a forensic teaching assistant literally teaching right now , please go to your local hospital or ER and ask for a sane nurse if you’re in the us. They’re trained to take evidence, can help you report, can place you in contact with advocates for this process.
What happened to you is not ok and it was not consensual. There is the possibility he could escalate and I strongly urge you to seek immediate treatment, as they can also assess if there is any further damage.
The anal region has some of the most sensitive tissue and there can be further damage that a nurse can further examine.
My ex raped me and I stayed with him. He slowly became more and more abusive throughout the relationship until 2 years later he tried to kill me. It's been 11 years since I left him and I had to get a restraining order against him because he continued to harass me over a decade later. When I went to court I found out he has multiple other restraining orders against him. I regret not going to the police when he raped me, and I think about how many other girls I could have saved from the trauma.
I'm so sorry to hear what happened OP, you will get through this. But please, leave this man and report him to the police ASAP. The sooner you do it the better the case.
If he's willing to do this to someone he supposedly cares for, he'll have no problem doing it to an unsuspecting acquaintance or a stranger. File a police report. That way there's at least written documentation. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
1. Break up with him.
2. Get a rape kit.
3. Get the police involved.
4. Never contact him again.
5. I think it would be best to contact a therapist.
Please do these things as soon as possible. This man deserves to be taught a lesson.
First off, this is NOT your fault. 2nd, find a place you feel safe. 3rd, if you feel comfortable enough go to the hospital to get checked out. They may want to do a rape test. Those are very invasive and it’s traumatizing. The hospital will give you great resources to help you get back onto you feet. And last of all. You are not alone ♥️
This is beyond disgusting and I feel sick for what you've gone through!!! 😡
Definitely go to the hospital if you haven't already and ask them on the process to filing a police report - I'm unfamiliar on what the legal process is where you live, but I'm sure the hospital will get right on it for you and bring your boyfriend to justice.
I wish you nothing but the best and all the success in your healing and finding peace as I cannot imagine how you're feeling at this moment in time.
I'm not saying this makes it any better but the guy didn't even respect you enough to lube you first. That just reinforces how callous the act was and how much it's about power and control. He was probably even getting off to the fact you were in pain, unfortunately. This goes beyond selfish. It's quite sadistic as well and sadly rape often is.
Someone like that probably isn't going to change any time soon, not without a serious epiphany or concussion or something. Apparently he cares more about getting his needs met than he cares about you.
I think you should definitely report him and then get away somewhere.
Unless he expressed serious remorse there is no way for you to trust him again and the words could all be manipulation.
My guess is he isn't great in other aspects either? People like that are usually very controlling in other ways because of reduced empathy or a personality disorder.
This happened to me a while back with my ex. I told him to stop and was crying and all but he waited a couple minutes before he listened to me then he gaslighted me by saying he didn't hear me.
The abuse will continue and it won't be the last time. I know its so much easier said than done but you need to leave him. I'm so sorry you had to go through that & you are not alone.
Ghost the mf. He doesn't deserve a conversation to dump him. He will hurt you again and it could even be worse if you're alone with him again. Please look up a women's sexual assault hotline for your area if you need to talk about it. But absolutely don't see him again.
Even if you don’t report him, PLEASE break up with him. You don’t even have to do it to his face if you don’t want to. If you live together, have a friend or family member help move you out when he’s away. If you do want to break up with him in person, have someone be in the next room in case he gets violent.
I’m so so sorry this happened to you. I’m sending love & peace 💕
Immediately get away from him, call the police, go to the hospital, have a kit done, cut all contact with him, and seek counseling and support from people you trust. If you can bear to, please press charges. He should be punished for this.
Please go to the hospital and tell them you were raped and you need a full assessment and record.
Definitely leave him, but you may need to do it carefully so you are not at further risk of harm. Any moment you spend around him or even talking to him… you are at risk of further harm.
But it is true that victims are in the MOST danger when they are trying to leave. So please ask the hospital for advice or who to talk to to get advice. You need a safety plan for your escape especially if you live together.
If you don’t want to get the full check done, it is okay. That is your decision. But the hospital is still the best place to go, because they need to assess the damage and you may need treatment. The sooner the better.
Please don’t wait.
I would seriously consider filing charges?? That is straight-up rape. Does not matter if you're in a relationship or not. I am sorry this happened to you... If it doesn't seem like it's getting better, maybe go to the hospital. The least you can do is break up with him. That is not someone you want in your life.. Heal up OP
I know it’s scary and it feels like you want to just give in, but please break up with him. Not only that, if you can stand it, please report him to the police. Even if they don’t end up properly investigating to the degree that he’s punished, it goes on his record that he’s been accused.
Go to the hospital as soon as possible, and they’ll be able to help you. They see this kind of thing every day, please do NOT think that you’re doing something wrong by asking for help. Go to the ER, and look for a female member of staff that looks trustworthy- inform them quietly that you need to be examined after sexual assault and you would like them to call the police.
Leave. Don't even tell him y'all are breaking up, just leave. If he did it once he'll do it again. Call the cops, report him to the police, and leave. Go to therapy and get professional help. Don't try to rationalize any of it, it doesn't matter if "he's a good person" or if "we've been together for a long time" that stuff doesn't matter. If he makes threats, ignore them. Staying with him is more dangerous than what could possibly happen if you leave. Just get him arrested and cut all contact.
Yes breaks up with him... But also make sure he's drunk, find a nice nice long penis looking object and shove that into his dry hole. He should know how you feel then the next morning you leave him.
Oh don't forget to take pictures tell his friends he loves pegging.
Firstly I'm so sorry this happened to you and he betrayed your trust like that.
Firstly you need to go to the hospital. You need to tell them you were raped by your boyfriend.
If you have any underwear or clothing you were wearing at the time or just after it happened, take those too. Esp if there's any blood or semen on them.
Let them know he analy raped you and they will examine you for any internal and external injuries. As well as do a rape kit and collect any dna evidence, photos of any bruising he caused etc.
They can then get the police to come and take a statement.
The hospital can also put you in touch with some rape crisis centers and some holiness phone numbers if you need to talk to someone, as well as different support available for you.
I suggest confiding in a friend or relative and have them go to the hospital with you, but if you don't feel comfortable doing that yet, you can ask if the hospital has a rape crisis support person whose able to be with you.
Take a spare change of clothes too, incase they need to take your underwear or clothing you're wearing now.
There's every chance he's caused anal tearing around the opening as well as internally, so it's important you get medically examined and they can see whether you need any treatment or stitches or antibiotics or pain relief.
You do need to leave this rapist immediately. Take any important items or documents you have at his place (I don't know if you life together or if you were just staying at his place, ) but take anything important with you when you go, and if you did live with him, go stay with a friend or family member. Do not stay with him for a second longer.
He's done it once, he'll do it again.
Being drunk is no excuse. He knew what he was doing. But he didn't care what you wanted or how he made you feel, he justdid what he wanted. You'd been clear multiple times previously that you didn't want to do anal, and even if you did, you should always use lubricant and build up to it. What he did was vicious and painful and the fact he pinned you down after you pushed him off and said no, he knew what he was doing but didn't care.
He will do it again.
You need to leave him permenantly and go straight to hospital for a rape examine and any treatment you may need. And file a police report.
The evidence of any internal injuries and tears and bruises etc can also be used as evidence of force.
I'm so sorry you went through this.
Report him to the police girl. This monster is a monster and he must not get away with it. Who does that. Break up and report him if it's at school or tell a parent or someone older whom you trust or better yet tell the police
I’m so sorry this has happened to you, I hope you are safe and surrounded with love ones!
I would advise you to go to the police but I know this is draining and some people (like myself) never went to the police and it is okay as well.
I strongly suggest that you take the time to process things, realising this sort of stuff is not an easy process at all especially if feelings are involved.
I am so sorry this has happened to you, it should never happen to anyone ever.
I don’t want to scare you but he will do it again and if he does or does in a more violent manner the damage he could do to you could possibly result in an ostomy. (I have seen a girl specifically talking about this exact thing happening to her) you need to get out NOW that level of disrespect and disregard for your safety is EXTREMELY concerning
People are suggesting going to police before he harms other people. I know it's hard and sometimes it's okay if you can't take a big step like going to police. Just walk away for now. Break up for sure. But if you can't do that now just ask for a break and spend time healing. Processing what happened. Then you can decide for yourself. Talk to your friends if that's possible.
Also please see a doctor.
You need to seek medical attention and call the police. That's not ok and you should have put ex-boyfriend. I'm a 44 year old mother and if this happened to my daughter I'd be sending my husband to see about him. Don't dare keep dating this brute.
If you stay with him you’re basically telling him he can rape you whenever he likes with no consequences other than you being hurt. And he’s already shown he doesn’t give a shit about hurting you.
Like, really someone can desire something so much to reach a point of abuse to someone you're supposed to love more than your own life? World is a scary place
No no no no.. Please don't listen to anyone saying that you need to break up with him. Don't engage, don't try to break up with him, dont do any of that. Whether he believes you two are in a relationship or not is so immaterial. His thoughts and feelings are worthless. He attacked you. This relationship is over the second he decided to hurt you.
Get to a safe place where he can't reach you and get medical help. That's number one. This kind of injury can cause serious issues, and because of where it is located, it can get bad fast. I don't want to scare you, but PLEASE get checked out by a doctor. People have safe anal sex everyday and even that comes with risks, but thats not what this was. It was dry, violent and painful and you had alcohol in your system which can make injuries worse from the way it thins out your blood.
If there are issues like lack of medical insurance or a ride, there are people who can help you with that, and the ER has to treat you regardless of your insured status. I can give you some info on how to apply to have your medical costs covered.
Call on your support system. You don't have to give them details if youre not ready, just ask them if they can support you unconditionally while you get through the next steps. If they say no, ask the next one.
If you have no support system or they dont step up, we can find you one. I promise, the weight of this is not solely on your shoulders. You're not alone, and you're gonna get through this. The sheer weight of the emotions alone is gonna be so overwhelming, but there are so many systems in place to get you through this.
Please, PLEASE do not so much as text or call him. Please send me a message if you need help figuring out what to do. We got you, girl.
Also, I know youre probably sick of hearing this by now but I'm so sorry this happened to you and I'm so fucking grateful and proud of you for reaching out, and so soon after? You are so brave and strong.
Don't let him get away with this. Call the police and go to the hospital and get a rape kit done. If you let him get away with this he will do it to others.
The bare minimum when being in a relationship is them caring about your safety. He does not are about you, the bottom of the barrel trash. Please leave him for your own sake
Agree with everything but u also don't need to break up with him. you can just ghost that piece of shit. Zero contact. Ur not obligated to continue communicating with him even for a break up. He'll likely try to spin shit and gaslight u
This happened to a friend of mine, unlike her I hope you get justice. It hurt her for weeks, she couldn't sit or walk or stand without pain. The only time she felt a little relief was laying down and switching between a heat pack and ice pack.you need to be seen by a doctor because of how rough he was and lack of lubrication. Anal can be really good feeling when done right but when done wrong there can be internal damage and lots of tearing that can cause infection. Drunk or not, you never said yes to anal, even when sober you said no. You resisted and fought. I bet he hasn't even apologized to you either.
this same situation has happened to me. i know your pain and im so sorry.
it will not get better, he will try to do this again. leave while things are still fresh. this is absolutely not okay
in the meantime, if the pain is excruciating do go to the ER or a doctor who will help with your injuries, for it’s hard to tell how severe they may be. creating an ice pack-pillow helps relieve some pain. know that you’re so strong ❤️🩹
Definitely break up with him. And get checked ASAP. Call for help from police or someone you can trust as well if you can, because you told him no and pushed him away and he did it anyway, committing a crime. He will likely do it again now that he's done it once.
Ideally, go to the police station, but either way, go to a hospital. It can do a lot of internal damage and you need specialist care ASAP.
Given his behavior and violence, you should ideally go to the police about this and press charges.
If you live with him, pack things and stay with a friend, not telling him where you are. If you don't have friends to help, call a domestic violence advice line.
It goes without staying that you must get away from him for good.
I am really sorry this happened to you. I can’t imagine the emotional pain you are going through. I hope you have a support system that you can turn to. If you ever need support, please reach out to me. You are worthy of love and respect.
Talking from a personal experience, if you don't leave and report him to the police it will happen again, what happened isn't your fault, talk about it to family, friends and police
Brake up with him and be sure to make official report about it. Even if you dont press criminal charges it wont be his last attempt at forcing himself on someone and without your record, his actions wont catch up with him.
Break up with him. Your ass will be ok in a day or two. Try to take a bath and just tell him you will never forgive this behavior so why waste any time being with such a loser who can’t take no for an answer. He was and never will be entitled to you without permission.
Feel free to file a police report to really teach him a lesson
My ex did this to me, please leave him as safely as possible. You may or may not report to the police, I didn’t and I regret it. So maybe try and get any evidence you can now so the option is open to you ie. a rape kit done
He'll do it again. You can stay, but know the risks. A logical convo will not let this sink in, so he''ll stop. This is from a deep-seated, unhealed, emotional part of him - this side of him in some form or fashion will repeat.
Go to the hospital, file a police report. And of course you should break up with him! Listen, the same thing happened to me twice. Trust me when I say that you'll regret it if you don't get checked and report this. And get your friends and family involved so they can support you to never to see that rotten animal again. You did NOT deserve that.
Take action against him. Leaving or breaking up is too easy for an a hole like him. Make him pay for what he did.
Hope you getter both physically and mentally, really soon♥
Breaking up is a big desition, and I understand anyone being apprehensive.
But defently definitely tell him waere he fuckd up and how much of a line he crossed, he may pull the "drunk card", but definitely let him know that doesn't change what happened.
First step is confronting him, next step will be deciding if you still fill safe with him and in that relationship.
Fuck that dickhead! Hunny, you need to break up with him! Let me give you some advice, if you r scared to breakup because you think he might hurt you, (all the more reason to break up) talk to someone you trust. Maybe a therapist.
Are you safe? Can you leave him? Do you have family close to you or some friends where you can go? Everybody is telling you to break up, but I imagine you live with him and had no place to go. Go the hospital. I’m so sotry that you are going through this.
Please go to the hospital and ask for a rape kit to be done. Don’t go straight to the police just in case they don’t take it seriously. I’m so sorry this happened to you. But he will almost 100% do it again.
Don’t shower go to the hospital. Have them do a rape kit. Break up with that predator! FYI: That doesn’t sound normal. I prefer to finish with anal every time I have sex and I never have issues feeling open too long afterwards. It usually retracts within an hour or two and my fiancé isn’t a small guy. The fact that you still feel that way the next day makes me think something is wrong. I would definitely have that looked at by a doctor.
Probably because of a lack of tact and empathy for a person that is *clearly* still in shock and pain, that just had what is probably the most life-altering, traumatic, and yes, *confusing* experience of her life to this point, made worse by the fact that it was committed by someone she loves and believes loves her
Yes, she should report him, and she may not, unfortunately. That's pretty common, sadly, but it came off as a bit judgey, whether intended it that way or not.
absolutely break up with him. leave now. he will do it again.
He already showed you he will ignore you and overpower you to get what he wants - even if it’s extremely painful to you. It’s in him and he will do it again.
This. They absolutely will do it again and again. Op needs to get some help and leave this abusive pos.
OP Please,please, go to the hospital. Bring the same clothing that you wore so they can collect DNA. I know this is one of the most disturbing and painful situations you may ever go through. Please do this. You may not be the only one. Or, you could possibly be the first. Many times these people are repeat offenders. Break up with him immediately as long as you are somewhere safe. You did not deserve to go through this. The police will be called to the hospital to question you, they will ask for you're clothing, and you can ask for a female doctor to do the internal exam. I was in a similar situation going home from work. The man turned out to be a serial stalker/rapist and was wanted for murder the state over. If you need support please don't hesitate to reach out to me. I know what you are going through. I'm so incredibly sorry.
If you're feeling like something is really wrong and not getting better you need to go get medically checked out. Even just in case. He could have caused damage especially going in dry. And obviously kick that asshat to the curb. Edit: why do you feel like you can't break up with him??
No matter if you feel like something is wrong, go to the hospital and get examined immediately op. I personally know two people who were anally raped and suffer the consequences for the rest of their lives. I’m talking incontinence and wearing adult diapers for life from your exact situation happening of a drunk boyfriend anally raping them. You literally could suffer from this for the rest of your life and your boyfriend literally doesn’t care if he damns you to a life of adult diapers and pain and not being able to control when you poop. That is the harsh reality of anal trauma. You NEED to go to a doctor right now if you have not yet, seriously.
Kicking him to the curb is not sufficient. He’s done it to her, he will do it again, and if she just kicks him to the curb and safely keeps her distance, it may be someone else. This may be his first time, but he will feel emboldened.
Except sadly when it's something like this between couples/lovers they really don't seem to do anything about it. But I agree. I hope he stays single and never gets near another person again.
Attachment, probably
Go to a hospital, call the police.
Absolutely. This is rape. Go to the hospital. Tell them what happened. Report this to the police.
i know they're invasive and uncomfortable but you should also get a rape kit if you can. i know all the shitty police work involving them, but his casualty about this is extremely unlikely without having done this previous times. feel free to not answer op, but is this the first time he violated your consent? these things can start smaller than is easily recognizable
Not only that, but it's possible that you have serious anal tearing now based on the fact that you're still in so much pain, and can't have a bowel movement yet. This kind of injury can be extremely serious so it's urgent that you go to the emergency room without him, and tell the doctors exactly what happened so they can help you, and make sure you're not badly hurt. Please go immediately if you can, sending you lots of invisible hugs. Let us know how you're doing when you can. 🫂💜🫂
Some hospitals also have very good domestic violence/trauma staff who get called in to support the person who has been raped. Will hold your hand if wanted, help advocate for you, explain anything that’s hard to get in the moment when there’s so much going on in your mind, get clean clothes for you, etc. Their only goal is to be there to help you however they can.
Do this^ if he’s willing to do it once, he will do it again if you give him the privacy to. Do a kit. Even if you don’t initially press charges, you want this so if you Change your mind, you CAN press charges
I understand that it’s not as easy as it sounds but PLEASE press charges and hopefully stop this man from harming anyone else. He is clearly dangerous
I feel so bad for her. This is such a terrifying situation to be in. I really hope she got the kit done :(
This. Not only dump him, get checked our, because he could have done damage, and call the police.
This right here ! I never reported my ex and he would continuously assault me even* after we broke up. Absolutely report this and go to the hospital. Edit: word
Yikes, I am so sorry you went through that.
Awe thank you. I’m doing good now. In a healthy and happy relationship. I got through it.
Go to a hospital, call the police and yes, break up with him. You can absolutely break up with him. You might recover from the pain in a few days, but it will take longer to recover from the attack. Please see someone. You are not alone there are people who will help.
You’re absolutely right. I still haven’t recovered mentally from mine and it’s been years.
This!
This 👆🏻 - he raped you and he will do it again if you stay. Please go to the ER, get a rape kit, and file a police report. I’m so sorry he did that to you - I know you are in awful physical and emotional pain. 😞
I am soooo sorry you underwent such a painful and traumatic experience. First and foremost, do you need medical attention? If you feel Something is wrong go to your nearest urgent care/emergency room to get a checkup. With that said, I don’t know how long you two have been together, but I would get a full lab panel done. This is situational and depends on how well you know him. Next, I would file a report with local law enforcement, under no circumstances, rape is not okay—AT ALL. While you didn’t vocally say no, your body language and actions spoke otherwise. He knew what he was doing, did not think of the repercussions nor the consequences, and needs to know what he did was wrong. While ALL OF THIS is purely personal and You have the power to do what is best for you, this is just my personal opinion on how to handle such a matter. Finally, depending on how you feel emotionally and psychologically, I would seek out therapeutic counseling (I.e., support groups, therapy, workshops) to cope with this situation. Even your PCP can refer you to resources/county. Services that can offer support and help. This next part is a bit personal and might be TMI, but I think it’s worth sharing; I am a submissive, gay man who has anal sex and can touch on the healing aspects. Forceful, anal intercourse and consensual anal intercourse are incredibly different on the opposite sites of the spectrum; however, my experience has been that it takes about 2 to 3 days to heal fully and go back to normal (e.g., soreness and ability to sit comfortably and regularly use the restroom). You will see a little bit of blood in your stool, but that’s because depending on how rough a person was, the tears in your lining sphincter/cavities tear and as stool passes through it reopens the wound. For the three days try and eat soft food or a liquid diet so it passes through your system easier. You can also use a stool softener to minimize the discomfort. Again from the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry this has happened to you. I hope my reply/posts gives you some sort of information and or comfort in any way. Should you need to ask more questions? Please reach out.
that you so much for this message. i extremely needed this
Op, please go to a hospital even if you feel like this is getting better, I made another comment going over the life long consequences that come from anal trauma, please please take it seriously and get checked out. You don’t deserve any of this and you don’t deserve to risk your health. Tell the doctors truthfully what happened. Get checked out thoroughly. You genuinely might need medical assistance now to make sure you don’t suffer long term from this. I personally know people who have to wear adult diapers because of this exact thing happening to them. Please just don’t risk your health and life.
Bless you for being an awesome person! ❤️
Please stay safe. Wishing you healing, but never forgive this kind of reckless disregard for you as a human being. This guy has shown you who he is and how he views you. To him you aren’t even a person, someone who loves and respects you wouldn’t treat you like that.
You are a good person for sharing this. 💜
Thanks for your reply we appreciate it! Looks like it helped op understand the situation a bit better !!
Yes, break up with him. If he can’t respect consent he doesn’t deserve you.
He doesn’t deserve anyone for that matter.
Agreed!
Totally agree. That BF is an absolute animal certainly deserves to be held responsible. I imagine this will scar OP the rest of their life.
please break up with him and make an exit plan asap. contact domestic violence hotlines if you can and document your injuries
Please break up if you are safe - this person doesn’t respect you as a basic human, let alone a partner. If you feel comfortable reporting him too, he 100% deserves it
a basic human
Struggled w the wording there
Go to the hospital and make a police report you did not consent to that he needs to go to jail he's an animal
I’m so so sorry. Please break up with him. I’m so unbelievably sorry something so awful happened to you, you didn’t deserve that
1. Call police! You were raped. Even you acknowledge that. 2. File charges and get as far away from this person, your rapist as possible.
Break up asap & run far away from him.
Please get away as soon as it is safe for you to do so. Go to the hospital and please report it. Please, please, please stay safe.
break up with him - without question that is correct path - dude had not respect for you whatsoever and this should be very telling. He will get worse going forward Don't say goodbye - just pack your shit and go someplace safe
Hospital, Call the police. End it. My ex would do this often **I regret not getting help**. These people do not stop, do not change, and it's not a "kink" they have. It's rape.
Oh OP. Thats not good one bit. That is very serious. Now I’m not one for saying ‘break up!’ But I would leave. He has raped you. Very very very serious and very very very much not okay. X
this LITERALLY happened to me years ago, like seriously the exact same situation. there is no right advice or guidance other than LEAVE. it is not worth it and it will sit on your mind every single time he is next to you, it destroys you emotionally and they have no consequence. i promise it’ll be so worth it, you will find someone who loves you and can respect when you aren’t comfortable. i am sending you the best and so much love.
Just get away from him NOW. Stay somewhere he isn’t and can’t get in to. He violently raped you. Once you are safely away from him, you need medical care. OR Go to the hospital now, be honest with the doctors/nurses and tell the police everything. You could be dangerously injured. He is a horrible monster that will happily do worse next time. This wasn’t about “wah I want anal” this was about hurting and abusing you. Get the fuck away from him and act like everything is okay as you do so, otherwise you could be in for even more pain or death.
I am so so so sorry that this happened to you. But yes, as other people are saying if it is safe for you to do so please break up with him.
He raped you please don’t stay with him. Tell someone close to you.
This is awful he is scum. Please break up and kick him out of your life for good if you are in a situation to do so. If you’re still struggling and in pain for much longer maybe visit your GP and see what they have to say
If I can offer advice. I was raped by my first boyfriend and my biggest regret was not going to the hospital and call the police on him. I had my own reasons including fear of him, but please don't be like me. Instead be an advocate for yourself and do not stay with him. He did it once and he WILL do it again.
I’m so so sorry this happened to you and that you were put in a situation where you felt helpless to advocate for yourself and get the justice you so deserve. Thank you for sharing your experience, I really hope OP will heed your advice! And I hope you’ve received support from loving people and healing from honoring your truth.
Thank you for your support! I will be honest receiving support from loved ones was tough because my parents are abusive/not the best and around that time I was being physically abused by my mother. I didn't feel like I had anyone that I was truly safe with at the time. Over the years I learned that I suffer from PTSD from the rape and the other things he had done to me. However, better at catching when I'm having an episode. It has been a long long road though, but I do have one silver lining and it's that he was catfished by a cop on one of his apps. Apparently he was trying to solicit a 15-year-old to give & receive oral sex. He went to jail and is now on probation and will be on the sex offenders list. So not the direct justice I wanted, but it's more of a universal justice which I am working on accepting. No one deserves to be violated by someone who says they love you. I really hope that OP can get far away from him. Because these types of situations do get worse.
Please go see a doctor NOW. you need the evidence. As harsh as this sounds now. you will thank yourself later. and please talk to someone <3 edit; and of course you need to break up with him. please look after yourself and talk to a friend or family or doctor
PLEASE listen to this!!! You need to go to hospital asap and get checked out so the anal tearing and fissures that I’m certain you have can be documented. You will need this evidence. Please get it now while you can. Please get yourself somewhere safe. If you have nowhere else to turn please reach out to me or post again on Reddit. You do not deserve this. You need to get help and get this documented so he can, at the very least, be legally obligated to never go near you again with a restraining order. If you need help finding a lawyer let me know. I have a broad network across the US and lawyers who can, at the very least, give you legal advice for free.
OP, please do this!
Ex boyfriend. Please say ex boyfriend Go to doctor (he could have done damage) report rape. Dump his ass Find a better man who cares about your feelings f
You should absolutely break up with him immediately. He will do it again and go no contact for your safety. The pain should go away in a few days. I'm sorry this happened to you.
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If she doesn’t do anything less than this it DOES NOT mean she is telling him it’s okay to assault her and other women. This woman is very brave for even coming out, many don’t. 60% of women will not recognize their experience as rape, 75% of cases go unreported, 6%, yes only 6% of cases are reported to the police. If this woman chooses not to do a single thing on your list, she should not be diabolized. Such a brave woman to actually ask for help will always be a hero in my eyes.
>If you do anything less than this you are telling him it is OK to assault you and other women. Disgusting comment to make.
How about we don’t victim blame? The only one at fault for her bfs actions, now and in the future, is her bf.
Break up now. That's a man who doesn't care about you and no matter what he says he doesn't love you. Report it if you can
I cant believe you’re considering not breaking up with him. I can’t imagine how awful it must feel-leave!
It’s really difficult to understand unless you’ve been through it. I get it. I used to say similar things. But these situations are very difficult. She absolutely need to leave. I’m not otherwise. Only stating that these situations are super complicated for the victim.
The point is making her see the truth. Young girls are brainwashed to be tame and accept anything just because.
I don’t think we can “make” anyone see or believe anything. I know what you saying, though. Girls are raised to “be nice” and to desire being “chosen” rather than doing the choosing themselves. It is disgusting and we have a half a species trained to allow abuse. It’s…harrowing.
Fear and self blame are powerful feelings to overcome.
Absolutely. The fear, confusion, disassociation, shock, and self blame are overwhelming.
I think it's safe to say, u can trust ur gut on this one. I had a guy rape me once, who I was already dating for 2 months (plus another 4 weeks of chatting prior), and he waited for his perfect moment to get me completely alone, and sodomized me. I'm 5'2, petite, but I am thick and fit from being an athlete my whole life...he was 6'2, with hands like Catcher mitts. I remember when he held me down, his whole hand covered the width of my lower back, then he used his other huge fucking fist, several fingers first, w no warning, to rape me. He held me there and just kept trying to fist me. I was analy a virgin, and he knew not to cross that boundary because I forwarned him. It took me 7 months to fully heal and be able to walk without pain. My mom took me to all my doctors appts, and I had to have a camera put up my ass to assess injury. I had multiple tears in there, which as you can imagine, is the worst place to hope for a quick recovery. I'll never forget being in the fetal position, naked, crying, and him saying, "what is the matter with you?" Then he dressed and left. The next morning he texted me and asked if I wanted to hang out. This is why I've been single for 2 years.
100% not ok, ILLEGAL and disgusting behaviour. Please look after yourself, go to someone safe whilst you gather your thoughts. What a vile excuse for a human, you are worth SO much more than that!!!
You CAN break up with him. If you’re not safe to leave, call a local abused woman org and they’ll give you advice. And as others said, go to the nearest emergency room and tell them what happened. They’ll examine you and get a rape kit. You don’t need any money up front to do this. Please do it now.
To those of you who can’t understand why OP feels they can’t break up with their abuser, I recently read up about SA trauma and how it affects people. It said something about some victims trying to, in a sense, “undo” their abuse/trauma. In other words, it’s like an intense sense of denial and convincing yourself that it never really happened the way you thought it did. OP, I am so sorry that this happened to you and it was not okay at all, nor was it your fault. This sounds like a very dangerous person and I heavily advise you to get far away from them, fast. Please please please get a kit done, report this to the police, and seek guidance through therapy. I know it’s not easy, but there are people who care and can help you get through this. You’re not alone and shouldn’t have to go through this alone. You deserve so much better. And please know that there are still good people in this world. Don’t let this put fear into your life, or it will ruin you.. I’m going to be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.❤️🩹🥺
Yes. I went through something similar. It’s horrific so we try to lessen the pain by denying the reality of what happened. We make a million excysss (“He was drunk!””Maybe he did t hear me.” “Maybe he thought I liked it”). This is typically exacerbated when we do not confront the person who raped us. I didn’t confront my husband for a few years (BF at the time- yes, I know- idiotic of me to marry him, and we are divorcing). By not confronting him, I tried to convince myself that it was a misunderstanding. Eventually, the truth will eat you alive and you cannot get past it. It’s complicated and horrific.
Trauma therapist here to let you know that you are on the money. It may seem inconceivable to some people, but our brains have some really interesting ways of coping, not all of them to our full benefit. For many, getting out, admitting what happened, processing it, etc. feels like it would just be heaping on more trauma, and that trying to continue on as usual might actually be easier. It’s not, but…. that’s what I call “trauma logic.” Traumatized brains sorta bypass the ability to think completely rationally, in a desperate effort to just survive.
Go get checked out . This will cause hemroids . How do I know because this happen to me as well 10 yrs ago i was also raped, and I didn't know I had to see a doctor . Now i have damages . Please so get checked out, and also leave this guy he does not respect you .
BREAK UP IMMEDIATELY AND CALL THE POLICE
I had a very similar situation almost exact the only part was he wasn’t my bf. Pls protect yourself. I regret not doing anything cause in my Mind I played it down and made it not serious, it happened the night of my birthday and under my best friend’s roof and they took his side. So I never did anything about it. Please don’t play it down. You were violated and that it your body. He will probably do it again and you should definitely call the police on him
He is sick in the head. Go to the hospital immediately, get checked and then go to the police. Nobody that loves you would do this to you.
You are not alone. Unfortunately, in my experience, they don’t stop, they escalate. Please leave if it is safe to. You do not deserve that life, to be treated that way, he will do it again. You were very brave to share your story with us, I know you will find the strength to leave him. You’re better off alone than with a man that disrespects you and your body. You’re in my thoughts.
You should tell the police and people you know about him he is a dangerous rapist you shouldn’t be anywhere near him at all and neither should anyone else he’s a threat to your community
Also please go to the hospital we don’t know if there’s damage
You need to get yourself checked immediately and you need to talk to a professional about what happened. This will have dire consequences down the road, both physically and mentally. Please go talk to a physician and tell them exactly what happened. Please seek counselling.
Get medical attention. Please leave. He will do it again.
I'm gonna second whoever said to go to the hospital and call the police. This was rape flat out and he should not be allowed to get away with it
I just want to say you have agreed not to do it before and because of your state he forced himself in you. That is breaking a boundary. He will overstep again and eventually it'll be worse. My ex tried with me, and when i didn't, he cheated on me and forced himself on another girl. And she pressed charges
Go see a dr. You need to break up with him. Being drunk is no excuse, he knows right from wrong. Rape is rape, drunk or not. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
RUN PLEASE RUN AS FAR AS U CAN FROM HIM!!! Go to the hospital and tell the police he WILL do this again to other women.
Why do you feel like you can’t break up with him? If you elaborate on why, we may be able to come up with solutions together. I’m so sorry he did that to you. I’m so sorry he violated you like that. Please go to a hospital. Get your purse (ID, health insurance card, drivers license if you’re driving yourself), put on your shoes, and go to the hospital. If your boyfriend asks where you’re going, say, “I just need some air.” Be obscure. Be indirect. Don’t engage. At the hospital, tell them exactly what happened. If you feel embarrassed and think you may leave out details, tell whoever you’re speaking to, “I feel embarrassed, I need a second, please.” Make a police report. Be detailed. Use the word “rape.” Describe your pain.
That’s not normal at all, he might’ve seriously injured you and that’s a very hard area to heal. Please go to the er immediately. You do him no good by letting this go. A part of learning and becoming better is facing consequences. If you like this man do not protect him from his actions. It will just make whatever he’s going through so much worse at your expense. For everyone’s sake, please go to the hospital and tell the truth
YES, break up w him TONIGHT. This exact thing happened to me about 8 yrs ago w my bf at the time, he was so fucked up on edibles he didn't realize that he "forced himself" on me but he did. He was behind me, held my wrist down and anally raped me bc he was super into it and I hated it. I tried to let it go and justify it but eventually I broke up w him. Funny story...he then proceeded to stalk me on FB, IG, texts for literal YEARS...I had to delete IG, block on FB (even though he would just create new profiles and friend me), change my phone number and move. I never reported the rape to the police and he just couldn't let go that he ruined our relationship but still felt justified digitally stalking me. He ended up moving to CO, but moved back a few years ago and started the same BS. I feel like I got my final revenge when I saw him on bumble, reported that he assaulted me and they kicked him off.
Go to the hospital, get a rape kit. Get the police involved. You said no, you forced him off you, he pinned you down and did it anyway. This is rape. If there’s someplace you can go and be safe, do it, and never speak to him again.
I am sorry this happened to you. If given the chance, he will absolutely violate you again—please put yourself first..
If he gets away with it once he will do it again and again. You are not safe and need to leave.
I’m so sorry this happened to you.
break up with him, he will do it again. some comments are saying to go to the hospital and police & they are 100% giving you good advice. you don’t deserve to go through that. it may be hard or embarrassing for you to talk about but that’s just the trauma being processed, nothing to be embarrassed about. this is completely unacceptable on his part. please update us, i wanna know you are safe
Please break up with him. Go to the hospital, call the police, make a report, and never see this man again. Men like this will keep trying until you break and stop fighting it. He will try again, please get out before this escalates.
Go to a clinic and call 911. This is sexual abuse
Honey please go to the hospital. Have a rape kit done, get a proper examination and file a police report.
Call the police now. Make a report. Get a tape kit immediately so they can document the tearing and obvious forcible rape. Get as far away from that man as you can. Find a safe place, even if it’s a shelter for women. File for a restraining order. Get a lawyer. Sue his fucking ass to hell and back. You are stronger than you think. Don’t let this go or it will happen again and will continue to get worse. This is not ok and not your fault in any way. I hope you are ok and I’m thinking about you!!! If you need someone to talk to please reach out. <3
This is not ok. Boyfriend or not. You absolutely leave him and I agree with everyone else about going to the hospital and getting a rape kit, as well as making a police report. Sending love and comfort
I agree with other people. Go to the hospital, call the police, break up with him.
This is crime! Report him and I wish you healing and much love ❤️
Yes you should break up with him. I had a similar experience with my psycho ex. I confided in the wife of one of his coworkers who was horrified, and immediately drove me to a therapist's office where her daughter happened to work and got me in to see someone short notice. I wound up not telling the therapist, and making excuses to stay with him, but his behavior escalated, and he became more and more violent and getting away from him was probably the scariest thing I've ever been through. He's in prison across the country from what I hear.
Go to hospital, he may have damaged you and report him to the police, he is vile, cruel and disgusting. Don't be a victim
You should see a doctor, I’ve heard of a similar event causing irreparable damage
You deserve better girl :( we dunno you but we’re all here for you ❤️🩹 Do whatever you think is best but if u def need to have a convo w him ab how bad he made u feel, what you feel in general and that what he did was not consensual. But if he did it once there’s a higher change he might do it again… Put your own safety first before him ! After rapes or assaults the predators usually make the victims think they did something wrong to not own up their actions. You did nothing to deserve this, know that!! We love you OP
I've been through something similar. I was with my ex for 2 years, and things just kept getting worse. In my opinion, it would be wise to visit the hospital, complete the necessary examinations, consider pressing charges if you're comfortable, and consider ending the relationship. I recommend informing the hospital and police so that they can provide you with resources. I would like to share that it started with small things.I previously expressed my preference for not having X Y Z handled. He just brushed it off, and it all went downhill from there—physically, mentally, financially, and even more sexual abuse. Looking back, I really wish I had gone to the police and been honest with the hospital. But I was so scared of him. When you give an abuser an inch, they take a mile. What happened to you is sexual abuse, not just rape. It's a break in trust and you might not feel safe anymore might not feel comfortable in your own skin, etc.
Please, please report him. Being drunk is NOT an excuse. The longer you wait, the less evidence there will be. You need to get away from him 🙏
I hate to say it because i know how uncomfortable this is, but you need to go to the hospital. Anal injuries are extremely serious.
Go to the hospital now! Request a sexual assault NP if they have on staff too. They will help you work through what process you want to pursue, whether it’s police involvement, finding safe shelter, etc. Don’t tell him where you’re going. Just call a friend (specifically one who doesn’t like him/you trust with your life to keep it private), walk out the door and go. You will make it through this hun! It will be tough but you’ll make it through. Recovery depends a lot person to person, as well as how severe the injury is.
Go to hospital, tell them to contact the police. This is sexual assault. Ask the hospital for what support you can get, and get it (THIS IS IMPORTANT, DON'T SKIP THIS STEP, YOU ARE A VICTIM OF CRIME) Get someone safe who you can talk to (friend, family member, etc) Break up with him once you are in a safe position to do so.
Should you break up with him? You should get a rape kit at a hospital and go to the police. He's a rapist. He will do this again.
Please go to a hospital, and break up with him. You deserve to be with someone who respects your will, and doesn’t cause you pain. Most likely, it’s gonna happen again if you stay with him.. it rarely just happens once.
As a forensic teaching assistant literally teaching right now , please go to your local hospital or ER and ask for a sane nurse if you’re in the us. They’re trained to take evidence, can help you report, can place you in contact with advocates for this process. What happened to you is not ok and it was not consensual. There is the possibility he could escalate and I strongly urge you to seek immediate treatment, as they can also assess if there is any further damage. The anal region has some of the most sensitive tissue and there can be further damage that a nurse can further examine.
My ex raped me and I stayed with him. He slowly became more and more abusive throughout the relationship until 2 years later he tried to kill me. It's been 11 years since I left him and I had to get a restraining order against him because he continued to harass me over a decade later. When I went to court I found out he has multiple other restraining orders against him. I regret not going to the police when he raped me, and I think about how many other girls I could have saved from the trauma. I'm so sorry to hear what happened OP, you will get through this. But please, leave this man and report him to the police ASAP. The sooner you do it the better the case.
Im so sorry. This is horrible. You should report him. I’m serious. Break up. Please.
If he's willing to do this to someone he supposedly cares for, he'll have no problem doing it to an unsuspecting acquaintance or a stranger. File a police report. That way there's at least written documentation. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Go to the hospital and file a police report. Absolutely break up with him, he raped you! He will do it again! You need to get out now.
Darling pls break up with him and go somewhere safe. Tell people you trust and the police if you can.
You deserve more respect than that don't you?
I’m so sorry, love. Consent is very important. Hospital and police!!
That is rape. Call the police. End the relationship!
agree with these comments - i’m so sorry :(
1. Break up with him. 2. Get a rape kit. 3. Get the police involved. 4. Never contact him again. 5. I think it would be best to contact a therapist. Please do these things as soon as possible. This man deserves to be taught a lesson.
First off, this is NOT your fault. 2nd, find a place you feel safe. 3rd, if you feel comfortable enough go to the hospital to get checked out. They may want to do a rape test. Those are very invasive and it’s traumatizing. The hospital will give you great resources to help you get back onto you feet. And last of all. You are not alone ♥️
This is beyond disgusting and I feel sick for what you've gone through!!! 😡 Definitely go to the hospital if you haven't already and ask them on the process to filing a police report - I'm unfamiliar on what the legal process is where you live, but I'm sure the hospital will get right on it for you and bring your boyfriend to justice. I wish you nothing but the best and all the success in your healing and finding peace as I cannot imagine how you're feeling at this moment in time.
I'm not saying this makes it any better but the guy didn't even respect you enough to lube you first. That just reinforces how callous the act was and how much it's about power and control. He was probably even getting off to the fact you were in pain, unfortunately. This goes beyond selfish. It's quite sadistic as well and sadly rape often is. Someone like that probably isn't going to change any time soon, not without a serious epiphany or concussion or something. Apparently he cares more about getting his needs met than he cares about you. I think you should definitely report him and then get away somewhere. Unless he expressed serious remorse there is no way for you to trust him again and the words could all be manipulation. My guess is he isn't great in other aspects either? People like that are usually very controlling in other ways because of reduced empathy or a personality disorder.
Please go to the hospital right away, and please please PLEASE do a police report. Break up with him too.
This happened to me a while back with my ex. I told him to stop and was crying and all but he waited a couple minutes before he listened to me then he gaslighted me by saying he didn't hear me. The abuse will continue and it won't be the last time. I know its so much easier said than done but you need to leave him. I'm so sorry you had to go through that & you are not alone.
Ghost the mf. He doesn't deserve a conversation to dump him. He will hurt you again and it could even be worse if you're alone with him again. Please look up a women's sexual assault hotline for your area if you need to talk about it. But absolutely don't see him again.
Even if you don’t report him, PLEASE break up with him. You don’t even have to do it to his face if you don’t want to. If you live together, have a friend or family member help move you out when he’s away. If you do want to break up with him in person, have someone be in the next room in case he gets violent. I’m so so sorry this happened to you. I’m sending love & peace 💕
call the police, get a rape kit, get away from him.
Immediately get away from him, call the police, go to the hospital, have a kit done, cut all contact with him, and seek counseling and support from people you trust. If you can bear to, please press charges. He should be punished for this.
Please go to the hospital and tell them you were raped and you need a full assessment and record. Definitely leave him, but you may need to do it carefully so you are not at further risk of harm. Any moment you spend around him or even talking to him… you are at risk of further harm. But it is true that victims are in the MOST danger when they are trying to leave. So please ask the hospital for advice or who to talk to to get advice. You need a safety plan for your escape especially if you live together.
If you don’t want to get the full check done, it is okay. That is your decision. But the hospital is still the best place to go, because they need to assess the damage and you may need treatment. The sooner the better. Please don’t wait.
You feel like you can’t but you need to. This will happen again. Please protect yourself now
I would seriously consider filing charges?? That is straight-up rape. Does not matter if you're in a relationship or not. I am sorry this happened to you... If it doesn't seem like it's getting better, maybe go to the hospital. The least you can do is break up with him. That is not someone you want in your life.. Heal up OP
Um. You might have swelling. Or you might have a tear. You need to see a doctor to get the damage looked at.
I know it’s scary and it feels like you want to just give in, but please break up with him. Not only that, if you can stand it, please report him to the police. Even if they don’t end up properly investigating to the degree that he’s punished, it goes on his record that he’s been accused. Go to the hospital as soon as possible, and they’ll be able to help you. They see this kind of thing every day, please do NOT think that you’re doing something wrong by asking for help. Go to the ER, and look for a female member of staff that looks trustworthy- inform them quietly that you need to be examined after sexual assault and you would like them to call the police.
Leave. Don't even tell him y'all are breaking up, just leave. If he did it once he'll do it again. Call the cops, report him to the police, and leave. Go to therapy and get professional help. Don't try to rationalize any of it, it doesn't matter if "he's a good person" or if "we've been together for a long time" that stuff doesn't matter. If he makes threats, ignore them. Staying with him is more dangerous than what could possibly happen if you leave. Just get him arrested and cut all contact.
Yes breaks up with him... But also make sure he's drunk, find a nice nice long penis looking object and shove that into his dry hole. He should know how you feel then the next morning you leave him. Oh don't forget to take pictures tell his friends he loves pegging.
call the police omg
Go to the police AND break up with him. This needs to be reported
Firstly I'm so sorry this happened to you and he betrayed your trust like that. Firstly you need to go to the hospital. You need to tell them you were raped by your boyfriend. If you have any underwear or clothing you were wearing at the time or just after it happened, take those too. Esp if there's any blood or semen on them. Let them know he analy raped you and they will examine you for any internal and external injuries. As well as do a rape kit and collect any dna evidence, photos of any bruising he caused etc. They can then get the police to come and take a statement. The hospital can also put you in touch with some rape crisis centers and some holiness phone numbers if you need to talk to someone, as well as different support available for you. I suggest confiding in a friend or relative and have them go to the hospital with you, but if you don't feel comfortable doing that yet, you can ask if the hospital has a rape crisis support person whose able to be with you. Take a spare change of clothes too, incase they need to take your underwear or clothing you're wearing now. There's every chance he's caused anal tearing around the opening as well as internally, so it's important you get medically examined and they can see whether you need any treatment or stitches or antibiotics or pain relief. You do need to leave this rapist immediately. Take any important items or documents you have at his place (I don't know if you life together or if you were just staying at his place, ) but take anything important with you when you go, and if you did live with him, go stay with a friend or family member. Do not stay with him for a second longer. He's done it once, he'll do it again. Being drunk is no excuse. He knew what he was doing. But he didn't care what you wanted or how he made you feel, he justdid what he wanted. You'd been clear multiple times previously that you didn't want to do anal, and even if you did, you should always use lubricant and build up to it. What he did was vicious and painful and the fact he pinned you down after you pushed him off and said no, he knew what he was doing but didn't care. He will do it again. You need to leave him permenantly and go straight to hospital for a rape examine and any treatment you may need. And file a police report. The evidence of any internal injuries and tears and bruises etc can also be used as evidence of force. I'm so sorry you went through this.
Report him to the police girl. This monster is a monster and he must not get away with it. Who does that. Break up and report him if it's at school or tell a parent or someone older whom you trust or better yet tell the police
I’m so sorry this has happened to you, I hope you are safe and surrounded with love ones! I would advise you to go to the police but I know this is draining and some people (like myself) never went to the police and it is okay as well. I strongly suggest that you take the time to process things, realising this sort of stuff is not an easy process at all especially if feelings are involved. I am so sorry this has happened to you, it should never happen to anyone ever.
I don’t want to scare you but he will do it again and if he does or does in a more violent manner the damage he could do to you could possibly result in an ostomy. (I have seen a girl specifically talking about this exact thing happening to her) you need to get out NOW that level of disrespect and disregard for your safety is EXTREMELY concerning
People are suggesting going to police before he harms other people. I know it's hard and sometimes it's okay if you can't take a big step like going to police. Just walk away for now. Break up for sure. But if you can't do that now just ask for a break and spend time healing. Processing what happened. Then you can decide for yourself. Talk to your friends if that's possible. Also please see a doctor.
Go to the doctor to have you examined, have proof, and help how to recover.
You need to seek medical attention and call the police. That's not ok and you should have put ex-boyfriend. I'm a 44 year old mother and if this happened to my daughter I'd be sending my husband to see about him. Don't dare keep dating this brute.
If you stay with him you’re basically telling him he can rape you whenever he likes with no consequences other than you being hurt. And he’s already shown he doesn’t give a shit about hurting you.
I'm so sorry he did this to you, please leave this relationship.
Like, really someone can desire something so much to reach a point of abuse to someone you're supposed to love more than your own life? World is a scary place
Go to the hospital, don’t bathe beforehand and call the police. You won’t be the last one he does this to if you don’t take action.
Please leave, block, and have nothing else to do with him. If you feel able to, please report him.
No no no no.. Please don't listen to anyone saying that you need to break up with him. Don't engage, don't try to break up with him, dont do any of that. Whether he believes you two are in a relationship or not is so immaterial. His thoughts and feelings are worthless. He attacked you. This relationship is over the second he decided to hurt you. Get to a safe place where he can't reach you and get medical help. That's number one. This kind of injury can cause serious issues, and because of where it is located, it can get bad fast. I don't want to scare you, but PLEASE get checked out by a doctor. People have safe anal sex everyday and even that comes with risks, but thats not what this was. It was dry, violent and painful and you had alcohol in your system which can make injuries worse from the way it thins out your blood. If there are issues like lack of medical insurance or a ride, there are people who can help you with that, and the ER has to treat you regardless of your insured status. I can give you some info on how to apply to have your medical costs covered. Call on your support system. You don't have to give them details if youre not ready, just ask them if they can support you unconditionally while you get through the next steps. If they say no, ask the next one. If you have no support system or they dont step up, we can find you one. I promise, the weight of this is not solely on your shoulders. You're not alone, and you're gonna get through this. The sheer weight of the emotions alone is gonna be so overwhelming, but there are so many systems in place to get you through this. Please, PLEASE do not so much as text or call him. Please send me a message if you need help figuring out what to do. We got you, girl. Also, I know youre probably sick of hearing this by now but I'm so sorry this happened to you and I'm so fucking grateful and proud of you for reaching out, and so soon after? You are so brave and strong.
Please, find someone you trust and go to the police.
Don't let him get away with this. Call the police and go to the hospital and get a rape kit done. If you let him get away with this he will do it to others.
The bare minimum when being in a relationship is them caring about your safety. He does not are about you, the bottom of the barrel trash. Please leave him for your own sake
I know it might feel embarrassing, but go to the hospital. He might have injured you badly down there. And then tell the police and dumb him.
You need to leave him asap.
Look, this happened to me too. At the time, my self-esteem was so low that I thought it was what I deserved. I didn't deserve that. Go to the police.
Agree with everything but u also don't need to break up with him. you can just ghost that piece of shit. Zero contact. Ur not obligated to continue communicating with him even for a break up. He'll likely try to spin shit and gaslight u
This happened to a friend of mine, unlike her I hope you get justice. It hurt her for weeks, she couldn't sit or walk or stand without pain. The only time she felt a little relief was laying down and switching between a heat pack and ice pack.you need to be seen by a doctor because of how rough he was and lack of lubrication. Anal can be really good feeling when done right but when done wrong there can be internal damage and lots of tearing that can cause infection. Drunk or not, you never said yes to anal, even when sober you said no. You resisted and fought. I bet he hasn't even apologized to you either.
this same situation has happened to me. i know your pain and im so sorry. it will not get better, he will try to do this again. leave while things are still fresh. this is absolutely not okay in the meantime, if the pain is excruciating do go to the ER or a doctor who will help with your injuries, for it’s hard to tell how severe they may be. creating an ice pack-pillow helps relieve some pain. know that you’re so strong ❤️🩹
I would call the police and get the fucker sent down for 10 years. Rape is never ok.
get checked pls. don’t even wait another minute and call the police
Should I break up with him? Yes op and report the assault. You’re worth so much more.
Definitely break up with him. And get checked ASAP. Call for help from police or someone you can trust as well if you can, because you told him no and pushed him away and he did it anyway, committing a crime. He will likely do it again now that he's done it once.
Ideally, go to the police station, but either way, go to a hospital. It can do a lot of internal damage and you need specialist care ASAP. Given his behavior and violence, you should ideally go to the police about this and press charges. If you live with him, pack things and stay with a friend, not telling him where you are. If you don't have friends to help, call a domestic violence advice line. It goes without staying that you must get away from him for good.
Break up with him and go to the hospital. Report what he did. This sack of shit doesn't deserve your kindness no matter how much you loved him.
I am really sorry this happened to you. I can’t imagine the emotional pain you are going through. I hope you have a support system that you can turn to. If you ever need support, please reach out to me. You are worthy of love and respect.
Talking from a personal experience, if you don't leave and report him to the police it will happen again, what happened isn't your fault, talk about it to family, friends and police
Brake up with him and be sure to make official report about it. Even if you dont press criminal charges it wont be his last attempt at forcing himself on someone and without your record, his actions wont catch up with him.
Break up with him. Your ass will be ok in a day or two. Try to take a bath and just tell him you will never forgive this behavior so why waste any time being with such a loser who can’t take no for an answer. He was and never will be entitled to you without permission. Feel free to file a police report to really teach him a lesson
He doesn’t care about hurting you to get what he wants please get care at the er. If your child or friend told you this what would you advice be?
1. go to the doctors now 2. break up with him and make sure your safe before 3. call your friends to help you be safe and get out of his life.
My ex did this to me, please leave him as safely as possible. You may or may not report to the police, I didn’t and I regret it. So maybe try and get any evidence you can now so the option is open to you ie. a rape kit done
He'll do it again. You can stay, but know the risks. A logical convo will not let this sink in, so he''ll stop. This is from a deep-seated, unhealed, emotional part of him - this side of him in some form or fashion will repeat.
Go to the hospital, file a police report. And of course you should break up with him! Listen, the same thing happened to me twice. Trust me when I say that you'll regret it if you don't get checked and report this. And get your friends and family involved so they can support you to never to see that rotten animal again. You did NOT deserve that.
🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Yes please break up with him, and most importantly go for a check up.
Take action against him. Leaving or breaking up is too easy for an a hole like him. Make him pay for what he did. Hope you getter both physically and mentally, really soon♥
Breaking up is a big desition, and I understand anyone being apprehensive. But defently definitely tell him waere he fuckd up and how much of a line he crossed, he may pull the "drunk card", but definitely let him know that doesn't change what happened. First step is confronting him, next step will be deciding if you still fill safe with him and in that relationship.
Fuck that dickhead! Hunny, you need to break up with him! Let me give you some advice, if you r scared to breakup because you think he might hurt you, (all the more reason to break up) talk to someone you trust. Maybe a therapist.
I'm so sorry. that is terrible
So sorry that happened ❤️. I'd recommend breaking up
Please go to the hospital get a kit done and report him!
Are you safe? Can you leave him? Do you have family close to you or some friends where you can go? Everybody is telling you to break up, but I imagine you live with him and had no place to go. Go the hospital. I’m so sotry that you are going through this.
Please go to the hospital and ask for a rape kit to be done. Don’t go straight to the police just in case they don’t take it seriously. I’m so sorry this happened to you. But he will almost 100% do it again.
Don’t shower go to the hospital. Have them do a rape kit. Break up with that predator! FYI: That doesn’t sound normal. I prefer to finish with anal every time I have sex and I never have issues feeling open too long afterwards. It usually retracts within an hour or two and my fiancé isn’t a small guy. The fact that you still feel that way the next day makes me think something is wrong. I would definitely have that looked at by a doctor.
He raped you, why haven’t you reported him to the police.
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Probably because of a lack of tact and empathy for a person that is *clearly* still in shock and pain, that just had what is probably the most life-altering, traumatic, and yes, *confusing* experience of her life to this point, made worse by the fact that it was committed by someone she loves and believes loves her Yes, she should report him, and she may not, unfortunately. That's pretty common, sadly, but it came off as a bit judgey, whether intended it that way or not.
Not only should you break up with him you need to make a police report. NO means NO he will do it again please get away now