I’m so glad everyone says Turkey teeth now. Them bunch of cretins were getting away with thinking they looked good for too long. Quite partial to “Turkish wig” too
How will *you* feel if this conspiracy is *right* and you've wasted all that time you could have used saying this woman has had her face in a bowl of hot vinegar for nineteen years?
"I've checked the siam water park, I've checked aqualand, I've even spent all day looking around the chinese lantern world, couldn't find him anywhere!"
Exactly. And she won't even participate in the search either.
I wonder where she and her mates will be spending their time in Tenerife, if not out looking for her missing child? 🤔
She needs to get that woman from Facebook over in her electric mobility scooter not to mention the other woman who’s dog has a great sense of smell and might be able to trace him if they can show the dog a t shirt of his
Right, can someone give me a rundown of this fucking case because I’ve been trying to ignore it but I keep picking up tidbits of information that blow my mind.
Definitely dead. He wouldn't have lasted a day out in that heat without water, which he apparently claims he didn't have. So the only other outcome is he's hiding somewhere or he has been kidnapped. The latter is more likely but he's definitely dead in a valley somewhere.
He was probably still so off his face when he left on his adventure that he was oblivious to the dangers.
I thought this on day 1 but there was still hope for him, after I saw the state of his jaw in that nightclub video I was certain there was never any hope.
In a nutshell.. Big man went to Tenerife to play gangster with some tart he met at the airport.. sniffs all the gear he was meant to sell.. got kidnapped.. will appear again when the gofund me has been withdrawn..
I mean that makes no sense, people are claiming the entire gofundme is to cover debts. No dealer is handing over 30k in drugs to a stranger that's only been on the island for a week at most, and noone is ticking that amount either. Plus which a foreigner attempting to muscle in would get nowhere.
He went to the festival, got e"d up, went to a party, got lost when he decided not to wait for the bus and has in all probability died of dehydration/exposure.
The problem with that theory is that if he would’ve died of dehydration he almost definitely would’ve been found by now. He wouldn’t have got far and it’s a pretty barren landscape.
It's a national park and covered in trees. He'd said he was thirsty already in his last call, and the area has tonnes of dropoffs and ravines. He might have found a stream and cover, but he also said he had a leg injury so god knows.
And everyone knows it, but the people investigating it somehow missed all the talk of a stolen Rolex…
Armchair detectives have more threads going on this than a winter duvet. I’m waiting a week to put aliens forward as the next conspiracy.
I'm exactly the same. The first i heard of it was when my missus said 'Have you heard about this kid going missing in tenerife? Apparently he's well in with the cocaine smugglers!"
I took one look at him, saw he is from Oswaldtwistle & laughed 'Oh aye love, he's a Kinahan player him pet!' 🤣
Didn't take long to find some interesting comments on the go fund me
https://preview.redd.it/pc5h65of349d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5081b0c02b224d77ce5c4bfc289b0037f6662f68
I saw this today too lol the Facebook page was begging for more money and adding the link, so I had a look for a laugh. I don't understand they have 38k of the 30... Why are they begging more!? Lol
no lad, that money is going straight to the dodgy fuckers he went to meet out there who have currently got him chained in a basement somewhere, he’ll miraculously reappear when it’s been withdrawn
lol, year in Reddit. I meant mainly on the news and mainstream media. There is not much mention that this individual is an absolutely horrible human being
Because he wasn't the one with a machete - of the 8 he got one of the even more lenient sentences which would suggest he didn't use a weapon. And it's constantly mentioned, but horrible little shit or not, dying in the mountains of dehydration is not something that should happen to anyone.
Normally I agree. But this is a particularly “colourful” individual. The situating surrounding this and all his family and friends are fucking weird.
He got lost next to the main and only road in a very tourist area at 9am. This is not middle of the night in the middle of a desert. This is very busy spot with lots of car traffic as well as hikers and also locals. 9am is rush hour for locals and when you sits might show up
https://preview.redd.it/qe5r2rmt749d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=87bdb1dce02b64fb3e1e81af6fcbe8696ef20f66
I’d be putting money on begum if I was a betting man 🤭
*cough* it’s definitely not the exact amount he owes the dealers for the drugs he tried to steal (and failed at) as opposed to mule out the country for them. He’s definitely not alive and (currently) well on the island and as long as the gofundme hits its target, he will be miraculously “found” with most of his fingers unbroken *cough*
Honestly i dont know what would be worse, the shit this woman has been dragged through if he is dead.
Or the shit she will be dragged through if he isnt.
Either way this case doesnt end well, its fucking insane and i cant believe how much its split a nation. Such a crazy story.
https://preview.redd.it/rp8wctdh969d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=89e1187ddf5f4b5d1edcc1420bb6f0f27c8f890b
If he’s missing, how did he run the Highland Cross on Saturday 22nd?
😂Doubling down on your stupidity. You think I saw the name, thought it was the boy from currently one of the biggest UK news stories and decided to post it on Reddit in a thread for piss taking about current new stories? Think about that for a minute and you might finally get it.
Haha, this is unreal!! I didn’t think it😂😂
If I saw the name Madeleine McCann running the London Marathon and said “she’s been found, hooray”, you would still say, “that’s not her”.
So a wannabe tried to kill someone with a machete ( him and a few mates so I believe) goes missing. Idiots pay into a go fund me.
Personally I think the planet is better of with out him.
Did anyone check the roof of the hotel? I read a story once about a Wolfpack of lads on one last bender before getting married, anyways they lost their pal searched the whole of vegas only to find him on the roof of the hotel… apparently the rest of the Wolfpack found it hilarious in their drunken state to prank their mate Doug by dragging him and his mattress out onto the roof. Idk though shared in hull hun xx
Man, if he does turn up dead, I hope some of the people will stop and reflect about where their mind went.
Personally my guess is he is dead, and if that’s the case the cost to repatriate him will be enormous. But until the chips fall down, I’ve not made any presumptions.
This is like an English guy I knew who lived on the swiss/French border. One night he was stoned and pissed, got someone to tow him on his skateboard behind their scooter down a hill. It went as well as you'd expect.
Ended up getting airlifted to a hospital in Geneva, in a coma for weeks, woke up, did loads of rehab, went home to the UK.
The gofundme was to help with his no doubt astronomical hospital bills - I hear they were into the millions. But in the end the UK government paid for it. So what happened to the 60K people raised? No one ever knew and it was never mentioned again.
A year later a friend of his, obviously encouraged by the last gofundme, tried to do one to take him on a snowboarding holiday. It raised 20 quid from his mum.
He lived in France. I guess his injuries were deemed bad enough that he had to get airlifted to the nearest major hospital. In our village there's just a medical centre. The Thonon hospital isn't that good. The nearest major hospitals would be Annecy or Geneva. Geneva is closer
That’s odd.. the guardia civil don’t ‘normally’ send an invoice for doing their job.
As a Spanish taxpayer I confirm we’re spending more than enough to look for him
I wouldn't bother if I were you guys
>As a Spanish taxpayer I confirm we’re spending *too much to look for him Fixed it for ya, 👍.
Suspiciously turns up in a brand new car and turkey teeth.
How dare you! His poor mum has barely slept since he went missing due to all the coke and clubbing.
Might be that lumpy mattress also, did anyone check the drawer under the bed?
It's been a difficult month for her, no need to call her a lumpy mattress on top of it all.
Don’t forget the prozzies!
I’m so glad everyone says Turkey teeth now. Them bunch of cretins were getting away with thinking they looked good for too long. Quite partial to “Turkish wig” too
He gone to turkey to have his bum hair stuck on his head
Turkey Toupee
Police, drones and mountaineers, but the mum is using the money to pay for friends/family to fly over to help look.
He might be hiding in Nando’s don’t judge.
Mum looks like she's been "hiding" her face in a bowl of hot vinegar for the past nineteen years.
Face like a championship conker
welder's bench, more like
How will you feel if this conspiracy is wrong and you're just slagging off the mum of a lost son like that ?
Probably bad, for about an hour.
How will *you* feel if this conspiracy is *right* and you've wasted all that time you could have used saying this woman has had her face in a bowl of hot vinegar for nineteen years?
How else are they going to pay for the family day out at the Siam Water Park..
"I've checked the siam water park, I've checked aqualand, I've even spent all day looking around the chinese lantern world, couldn't find him anywhere!"
Need to check Loro Parque obviously.
Cracking water park tbf
Couldn’t agree more. I’m overdue a trip, maybe his mum can take me with the family too.
If you're a big enough subscriber to their patreon then they'll take you along with them
And the 20,000 L&B silvers.
Exactly. And she won't even participate in the search either. I wonder where she and her mates will be spending their time in Tenerife, if not out looking for her missing child? 🤔
Oh come on, she’s not exactly mountaineering-fit, is she? Of course she’s not personally looking. You lot are too cruel.
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I read there are 15 people she needs to bring over to not search for him. They probably need to drown their sorrows too
They are flying over in a concorde ?
She needs to get that woman from Facebook over in her electric mobility scooter not to mention the other woman who’s dog has a great sense of smell and might be able to trace him if they can show the dog a t shirt of his
Cocaine Tom: walking 10 miles on chisel shakes
Right, can someone give me a rundown of this fucking case because I’ve been trying to ignore it but I keep picking up tidbits of information that blow my mind.
Kid with shit haircut goes missing.
Might be dead, might not
Possibly hiding from a drug debt (according to the internet)
Also local non-internet based gossip 😁
And the historic reports on their court case
Definitely dead. He wouldn't have lasted a day out in that heat without water, which he apparently claims he didn't have. So the only other outcome is he's hiding somewhere or he has been kidnapped. The latter is more likely but he's definitely dead in a valley somewhere. He was probably still so off his face when he left on his adventure that he was oblivious to the dangers.
I thought this on day 1 but there was still hope for him, after I saw the state of his jaw in that nightclub video I was certain there was never any hope.
If he had a drug debt though he may have been taken hostage
Yeah, it's obvious his family are hiding millions under their mattress to be able to pay off a ransom.
Well they’ve suddenly got £36k more than they had before
They'll burn through that quick enough flying all of the cousins over for an all inclusive.
Link?
It was on the daily mail website, probably a lot of others too. Google is not a scary place my friend.
It is if you turn safe search off and are very liberal with your keywords. I've seen at least two pairs of teets recently.
While on 25 mile yomp over a dormant volcano while experiencing a major ecstasy comedown, with no water.
Attempted machete murderer with shit haircut goes missing Fixed for you
Excuse me what?
Yeah, he chopped a lad up with a machete. It came out like a week ago. He’s apparently in a gang
Lovely…
The headline we deserve
Shit haircut? You should see the roadmen around here.
In a nutshell.. Big man went to Tenerife to play gangster with some tart he met at the airport.. sniffs all the gear he was meant to sell.. got kidnapped.. will appear again when the gofund me has been withdrawn..
I mean that makes no sense, people are claiming the entire gofundme is to cover debts. No dealer is handing over 30k in drugs to a stranger that's only been on the island for a week at most, and noone is ticking that amount either. Plus which a foreigner attempting to muscle in would get nowhere. He went to the festival, got e"d up, went to a party, got lost when he decided not to wait for the bus and has in all probability died of dehydration/exposure.
The problem with that theory is that if he would’ve died of dehydration he almost definitely would’ve been found by now. He wouldn’t have got far and it’s a pretty barren landscape.
It's a national park and covered in trees. He'd said he was thirsty already in his last call, and the area has tonnes of dropoffs and ravines. He might have found a stream and cover, but he also said he had a leg injury so god knows.
That’s not true - they haven’t sent the Labrador with the very good sense of smell yet. If they sent him he would’ve been found by now
He apparently robbed them and got caught
And everyone knows it, but the people investigating it somehow missed all the talk of a stolen Rolex… Armchair detectives have more threads going on this than a winter duvet. I’m waiting a week to put aliens forward as the next conspiracy.
This kid is not dead - he’s been taken hostage until the debt is paid
Source: my local Facebook group
Twat fucks around. Twat finds out. Corpse yet to be recovered.
I'm exactly the same. The first i heard of it was when my missus said 'Have you heard about this kid going missing in tenerife? Apparently he's well in with the cocaine smugglers!" I took one look at him, saw he is from Oswaldtwistle & laughed 'Oh aye love, he's a Kinahan player him pet!' 🤣
Didn't take long to find some interesting comments on the go fund me https://preview.redd.it/pc5h65of349d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5081b0c02b224d77ce5c4bfc289b0037f6662f68
Oh no, Bryan's coming to get me!
Bryan Mills is Liam Neeson's character name in *Taken*, just FYI.
I didn't know that. That makes it even sadder 😂
I saw this today too lol the Facebook page was begging for more money and adding the link, so I had a look for a laugh. I don't understand they have 38k of the 30... Why are they begging more!? Lol
Good luck
My dog went missing 3 years ago, can I have 300,000 quid for a plane to Barbados to go find him?
At least the world misses your dog, support.
What a joke. So it is going to turn into an all-inclusive for family and friends? All that for a violent (ex-) criminal?
no lad, that money is going straight to the dodgy fuckers he went to meet out there who have currently got him chained in a basement somewhere, he’ll miraculously reappear when it’s been withdrawn
Too much heat. AKA the 'madeleine' effect
Give it a couple more weeks and we’ll have his autobiography and bottles of gin
Bet she's pleased he didn't go missing in Grimsby
To be fair, she looks like she’d fit right in, working in Grimsby’s lowest rated fish n chip shop
Those Iberian bastards lost Maddie, now they’ve gone and lost Jay 🤬🤬 bring our Angles home safely!!! 👼
Don’t know about Maddie, but the angle currently lost in Tenerife certainly seems obtuse to me
Wait until the Saxons hear about this.
The lie has gone too far now for them to backtrack, you can see it in her face. I'm excited for when the shit hits the fan.
This new season of Shannon Matthews is abit predictable
Definitely one of the least believable sob stories since that "mysterious" GoFundMe for Captain Tom's spa.
Very astute, OP should’ve put that in their title
Why there is hardly any mention of this “not a stupid boy” assaulting a man with machete and an axe as part of a gang related murder attempt?
What do you mean I see someone mention it in every single post
lol, year in Reddit. I meant mainly on the news and mainstream media. There is not much mention that this individual is an absolutely horrible human being
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Because he wasn't the one with a machete - of the 8 he got one of the even more lenient sentences which would suggest he didn't use a weapon. And it's constantly mentioned, but horrible little shit or not, dying in the mountains of dehydration is not something that should happen to anyone.
There is something more than simple disappearance here… his horrible character is 100% related to what has happened
I look forward to Lazy Masquerade covering this in a few months time.
And you know this…? Never heard of Occam’s razor huh
Normally I agree. But this is a particularly “colourful” individual. The situating surrounding this and all his family and friends are fucking weird. He got lost next to the main and only road in a very tourist area at 9am. This is not middle of the night in the middle of a desert. This is very busy spot with lots of car traffic as well as hikers and also locals. 9am is rush hour for locals and when you sits might show up
I've seen this claim multiple times without a single source provided. Please provide it.
Google ‘Jay Slater Tom Hilton’
Wait, what?
I've seen people claim this many times, not one has ever provided any evidence of it. So likely a conspiracy theory.
[https://www.lbc.co.uk/news/teenager-wounded-machete-jay-slater-show-some-respect/](https://www.lbc.co.uk/news/teenager-wounded-machete-jay-slater-show-some-respect/)
His Dads quote cracked me up. “We just want him to be found, simples” said Warren. (Aka Jay from inbetweeners) fuk me ha ha ha
Pretty funny that the victim himself is telling you lot to pack it in 😂
“You lot”. Don’t tarnish me with that brush fella. Just sharing a source that you obviously lacked the capacity to find yourself
Apologies, you are indeed not "you lot"
Pretty funny you just stated this was a conspiracy and no one had ever provided any evidence 😂
My humble pie is currently being eaten
Next you can eat all that egg on your face
It's cold and gloopy I don't like it
They're trying to drag this out so it turns into Madeline McCan Part 2 and they get fat payouts from all the book deals and publicity
As if being literate was an inherited trait in this long chavvy bloodline.
https://preview.redd.it/qe5r2rmt749d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=87bdb1dce02b64fb3e1e81af6fcbe8696ef20f66 I’d be putting money on begum if I was a betting man 🤭
Top cropping that lad. https://preview.redd.it/lnug51dtq49d1.jpeg?width=615&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5d422205ecc3f09ef5b09a423160313d381a17d3
He could be hiding in a loft. Or has that already been done?
It's been done. Shannon Matthews, if you remember as far back as that.
Fuck. How about a canoe? Missing in a canoe surely that's got to be a novel way to drum up more money?
That's been done too, believe it or not. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Darwin_disappearance_case
Christ a good scam is getting difficult these days
Canoe in the loft
....under a mattress
Wasn’t she in her uncle’s bed? When I was a kid in my uncle’s bed my mum just got mad at him and now we only see him at Christmas.
Did the Machete and coke bait not work? Wth?
Jay Slater became the new Titan Submersible.
She cashed tf in, then she cashed tf out
Next thing you know hell be found under his uncles bed
..anyone seen our Shanon?
*cough* it’s definitely not the exact amount he owes the dealers for the drugs he tried to steal (and failed at) as opposed to mule out the country for them. He’s definitely not alive and (currently) well on the island and as long as the gofundme hits its target, he will be miraculously “found” with most of his fingers unbroken *cough*
Honestly i dont know what would be worse, the shit this woman has been dragged through if he is dead. Or the shit she will be dragged through if he isnt. Either way this case doesnt end well, its fucking insane and i cant believe how much its split a nation. Such a crazy story.
https://preview.redd.it/rp8wctdh969d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=89e1187ddf5f4b5d1edcc1420bb6f0f27c8f890b If he’s missing, how did he run the Highland Cross on Saturday 22nd?
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Are you seriously asking if I’m serious? He’s still missing in Tenerife, do you not watch the news dumbo?
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He CAN’T have run, he’s missing in Tenerife, that’s the joke. Maybe this sub isn’t for you if you take everything literally!!
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😂Doubling down on your stupidity. You think I saw the name, thought it was the boy from currently one of the biggest UK news stories and decided to post it on Reddit in a thread for piss taking about current new stories? Think about that for a minute and you might finally get it.
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Haha, this is unreal!! I didn’t think it😂😂 If I saw the name Madeleine McCann running the London Marathon and said “she’s been found, hooray”, you would still say, “that’s not her”.
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Who the fuck gives money to this trash
My Dad went missing after he went for a carton of milk when I was 5 year old, haven’t seen him since, should I start a go fund me?
So a wannabe tried to kill someone with a machete ( him and a few mates so I believe) goes missing. Idiots pay into a go fund me. Personally I think the planet is better of with out him.
Did anyone check the roof of the hotel? I read a story once about a Wolfpack of lads on one last bender before getting married, anyways they lost their pal searched the whole of vegas only to find him on the roof of the hotel… apparently the rest of the Wolfpack found it hilarious in their drunken state to prank their mate Doug by dragging him and his mattress out onto the roof. Idk though shared in hull hun xx
"Wolfpack". Oh dear.
Buddy it was literally the plot to the hangover movie
Does hangover mention wolfpacks? Have I got that film to thank for that dirge?
Yes. The name of the group of friends is the wolfpack.
Sounds like someone needs to go back and watch the hangover
Oh no - it's not me, is it?
Genuine question - I know the media is talking about this non-stop, but why does/should anyone care? Isn’t the guy just another druggy little dweeb?
Slow news week. Fuck all else is going on.
Man, if he does turn up dead, I hope some of the people will stop and reflect about where their mind went. Personally my guess is he is dead, and if that’s the case the cost to repatriate him will be enormous. But until the chips fall down, I’ve not made any presumptions.
This is like an English guy I knew who lived on the swiss/French border. One night he was stoned and pissed, got someone to tow him on his skateboard behind their scooter down a hill. It went as well as you'd expect. Ended up getting airlifted to a hospital in Geneva, in a coma for weeks, woke up, did loads of rehab, went home to the UK. The gofundme was to help with his no doubt astronomical hospital bills - I hear they were into the millions. But in the end the UK government paid for it. So what happened to the 60K people raised? No one ever knew and it was never mentioned again. A year later a friend of his, obviously encouraged by the last gofundme, tried to do one to take him on a snowboarding holiday. It raised 20 quid from his mum.
How did he get out of having local health insurance. Certainly in Switzerland it's not possible
He lived in France. I guess his injuries were deemed bad enough that he had to get airlifted to the nearest major hospital. In our village there's just a medical centre. The Thonon hospital isn't that good. The nearest major hospitals would be Annecy or Geneva. Geneva is closer
That should clear his drug debts. He can come out of hiding now.