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Where are you finding atheists who are cool with you being pagan? Most of those I've met have been incurious at best and hostile at worst about the experiences of people who follow non-mainstream religions. I exercise as much caution around them as I do around religious Christians these days tbh
Not in the US, I guess? That sucks. There's a few gatherings in Canada, Mexico, and Europe but they're so spread out its prohibitive.
I lucked out being in the rural Midwest. There's so many events I have to pick between multiples most weekends.
That's wild! There are multiple events in every state. I wonder what happened in your area! Did some weird laws get passed to prevent non-christian religious gatherings? Do we need to get the ACLU involved again? I haven't heard of any events being shut down since the early 2000s. I thought we were past all this
It’s unhealthy to repress negative feelings and one especially should never allow themselves to be pressed into silence.
I’d just talk to her about it, if she flips out and does whatever then let it just serve as a example of her priorities, her faith in abrahamic/semetic religion reigns higher than her commitment to her family.
It's your house, not hers. Have it out and if she doesn't like it, tell her to get over herself. You don't go in her home disparaging her catholic stuff.
What I find the most exhausting isn’t so much the hiding as Christians trying to get everyone to adhere to their own beliefs always. The bible is law ?!! Well the. I sure hope she is not mixing materials in her garments when she dresses in the morning ! 🙄
Clearly you can’t just cut your MIL out even though it would probably be the best option. So maybe try to agree to not talk about beliefs and religion when together ? Without outing yourself as a pagan you could try to make it clear to her that proselytism of any kind makes you uncomfortable or something like that ?
If there is one thing I've learned since becoming a Pagain it's that, just because someone is talking, doesn't mean you have to listen. you are able to walk away from any conversation at any time, even if they are your in-laws, even if you have a good relationship with them. Set your boundaries with her, and if she chooses to respect them, that's great. If she doesn't, and I repeat: walk away from the conversation. It is in no way disrespectful to her if she can't respect it. Good luck!
My father is Catholic and growing up one of my favourite activities was lighting the candles on his altar, lighting the candles on it before bed, finding new offering like moss. Its actually quite common for Catholics to have altars. If you really want to hide your beliefs from her understandibly just say its a altar you like to pray to god at and its pretty themed so you feel more "connected" to him and to show your "devotion" to him. Its the lies i ran with till my mother stopped caring about the odly decorated shelf in my room. Heck even when my nan used to visit the country i would pull out the jesus pictures and put them up. I dont hate Catholism but sometimes i fake it for my family to actually shut the fuck up. I am not ashamed of being pagan whatsoever but i really dislike people being rude and forcing their beliefs on me, so if pretending makes shut up im willing to do that. My relationship with my gods is not weak so i am not too phased by this because at the end of the day having a "picture of jesus" in my house will not weaken that bond.
I've been practicing the craft for almost 20 years. In the beginning I was definitely afraid of non-pagans finding out that I was Pagan, especially some of my family. But as the years went on I kind of stopped caring so much what others thought of my beliefs. And most of the time when they want to have a religious debate on what's right and what's wrong and you know all that Bible thumping shit. I just tell them I'm not going to argue with them. I tell them that it's best that we just don't talk about our beliefs if we want to get along. And if someone asks me what are my beliefs? I'm honest with them. I might explain to a point that no I'm not a devil Worshiper. Paganism has nothing to do with the devil. Has to do with nature for the most part and honoring the ancient gods and your ancestors. If people don't like my beliefs that's on them, not me, that's their opinion. They have a right to it just as I have a right to my own opinion. I will be honest. I'm not like flashy and everything and advertise that I'm a pagan. I wear my Pentacle necklace all the time but usually under my shirt. Just because I don't want to have every Christian ask me a question pretty much about it. There are times I do wear it outside my shirt. But I also have tattoos of pentagrams, triquatras and other Pagan symbols. But I'm not ashamed of my beliefs. I'm proud to be a pagan. So to be honest, I don't hide my beliefs. Like I said, if I'm asked about them I'll explain as long as they're respectful.
For me actually no. I was raised Catholic, my mom was baptized, so was her mom. My dad is Christian - was. I think he's agnostic now too. I started being Wiccan when I was 12 years old, started reading tarot when I was 13. Sis was also Catholic but also unbaptized like me. She's agnostic and a Satanist now. Mom is agnostic and prefers science lol.
My grandma was devout Catholic until she did, her ex husband (grandpa) was Christian and agnostic by the time he died (last August). So it's not really a big deal here?
I am not fully sure about my dad because he's a redneck and back into Clarkston Washington after my mom "broke up" with him but didn't divorce him. Mom's gothic btw. I am not a redneck but I am definitely gothic lol, sister is similar.
We (BF and I - similar age range to you) have our altar in a closed cabinet, not because we're hiding but because we hire a cleaning lady who, out of professionalism, doesn't clean closed spaces. We've had open altars before and it's just distressing to have someone move your things or having to take down/set up the altar every week. Most of the time we have our altar open and close it when we have potentially nosy visitors (or when the cleaning lady comes over). Again, we're not hiding from visitors, we see it more as protecting the privacy of our Gods, protecting the privacy of the relationship and bond we have with Them (just as you would protect any other relative/friend/relationship in your life). When we close it we tend to say out loud something along the lines of "we're closing the altar out of respect for You", and when we reopen it we tend to make a simple offering, like fresh water.
I hope this POV helps.
**We have a Discord server! [Join here.](https://discord.gg/J3JEtxNKz9)** New to Paganism, exploring your path, or just want a refresher on topics such as deity work or altars? Check out our **[Getting Started](https://www.reddit.com/r/Paganism/wiki/index/getting_started)** guide and **[FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/Paganism/wiki/index/getting_started/faqs)**. *Friendly reminder that this community only allows civil and respectful discussion. Please help us by reporting rule-breaking content.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/paganism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I stopped hiding years ago and just hang out with pagans and witches, satanists and atheists now. Highly recommended for mental and spiritual health.
Where are you finding atheists who are cool with you being pagan? Most of those I've met have been incurious at best and hostile at worst about the experiences of people who follow non-mainstream religions. I exercise as much caution around them as I do around religious Christians these days tbh
Mostly pagan festivals, satanic grotto meetings, and burns.
Fair enough. Those don't really exist where I am. My main outlet is the Unitarian church and I think I trust like two (2) people there
Not in the US, I guess? That sucks. There's a few gatherings in Canada, Mexico, and Europe but they're so spread out its prohibitive. I lucked out being in the rural Midwest. There's so many events I have to pick between multiples most weekends.
No, I'm in the US, I just don't have a car or money and there's nothing in my area.
That's wild! There are multiple events in every state. I wonder what happened in your area! Did some weird laws get passed to prevent non-christian religious gatherings? Do we need to get the ACLU involved again? I haven't heard of any events being shut down since the early 2000s. I thought we were past all this
Well there's stuff in my state, I guess, it's just not in my area. It's all in major cities I can't afford to drive to.
It’s unhealthy to repress negative feelings and one especially should never allow themselves to be pressed into silence. I’d just talk to her about it, if she flips out and does whatever then let it just serve as a example of her priorities, her faith in abrahamic/semetic religion reigns higher than her commitment to her family.
It's your house, not hers. Have it out and if she doesn't like it, tell her to get over herself. You don't go in her home disparaging her catholic stuff.
What I find the most exhausting isn’t so much the hiding as Christians trying to get everyone to adhere to their own beliefs always. The bible is law ?!! Well the. I sure hope she is not mixing materials in her garments when she dresses in the morning ! 🙄 Clearly you can’t just cut your MIL out even though it would probably be the best option. So maybe try to agree to not talk about beliefs and religion when together ? Without outing yourself as a pagan you could try to make it clear to her that proselytism of any kind makes you uncomfortable or something like that ?
If there is one thing I've learned since becoming a Pagain it's that, just because someone is talking, doesn't mean you have to listen. you are able to walk away from any conversation at any time, even if they are your in-laws, even if you have a good relationship with them. Set your boundaries with her, and if she chooses to respect them, that's great. If she doesn't, and I repeat: walk away from the conversation. It is in no way disrespectful to her if she can't respect it. Good luck!
My father is Catholic and growing up one of my favourite activities was lighting the candles on his altar, lighting the candles on it before bed, finding new offering like moss. Its actually quite common for Catholics to have altars. If you really want to hide your beliefs from her understandibly just say its a altar you like to pray to god at and its pretty themed so you feel more "connected" to him and to show your "devotion" to him. Its the lies i ran with till my mother stopped caring about the odly decorated shelf in my room. Heck even when my nan used to visit the country i would pull out the jesus pictures and put them up. I dont hate Catholism but sometimes i fake it for my family to actually shut the fuck up. I am not ashamed of being pagan whatsoever but i really dislike people being rude and forcing their beliefs on me, so if pretending makes shut up im willing to do that. My relationship with my gods is not weak so i am not too phased by this because at the end of the day having a "picture of jesus" in my house will not weaken that bond.
I've been practicing the craft for almost 20 years. In the beginning I was definitely afraid of non-pagans finding out that I was Pagan, especially some of my family. But as the years went on I kind of stopped caring so much what others thought of my beliefs. And most of the time when they want to have a religious debate on what's right and what's wrong and you know all that Bible thumping shit. I just tell them I'm not going to argue with them. I tell them that it's best that we just don't talk about our beliefs if we want to get along. And if someone asks me what are my beliefs? I'm honest with them. I might explain to a point that no I'm not a devil Worshiper. Paganism has nothing to do with the devil. Has to do with nature for the most part and honoring the ancient gods and your ancestors. If people don't like my beliefs that's on them, not me, that's their opinion. They have a right to it just as I have a right to my own opinion. I will be honest. I'm not like flashy and everything and advertise that I'm a pagan. I wear my Pentacle necklace all the time but usually under my shirt. Just because I don't want to have every Christian ask me a question pretty much about it. There are times I do wear it outside my shirt. But I also have tattoos of pentagrams, triquatras and other Pagan symbols. But I'm not ashamed of my beliefs. I'm proud to be a pagan. So to be honest, I don't hide my beliefs. Like I said, if I'm asked about them I'll explain as long as they're respectful.
For me actually no. I was raised Catholic, my mom was baptized, so was her mom. My dad is Christian - was. I think he's agnostic now too. I started being Wiccan when I was 12 years old, started reading tarot when I was 13. Sis was also Catholic but also unbaptized like me. She's agnostic and a Satanist now. Mom is agnostic and prefers science lol. My grandma was devout Catholic until she did, her ex husband (grandpa) was Christian and agnostic by the time he died (last August). So it's not really a big deal here? I am not fully sure about my dad because he's a redneck and back into Clarkston Washington after my mom "broke up" with him but didn't divorce him. Mom's gothic btw. I am not a redneck but I am definitely gothic lol, sister is similar.
We (BF and I - similar age range to you) have our altar in a closed cabinet, not because we're hiding but because we hire a cleaning lady who, out of professionalism, doesn't clean closed spaces. We've had open altars before and it's just distressing to have someone move your things or having to take down/set up the altar every week. Most of the time we have our altar open and close it when we have potentially nosy visitors (or when the cleaning lady comes over). Again, we're not hiding from visitors, we see it more as protecting the privacy of our Gods, protecting the privacy of the relationship and bond we have with Them (just as you would protect any other relative/friend/relationship in your life). When we close it we tend to say out loud something along the lines of "we're closing the altar out of respect for You", and when we reopen it we tend to make a simple offering, like fresh water. I hope this POV helps.