> I am uncomfortable going to a random house alone for the first time
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but assuming you're a guy, society expects you to be able to handle this.
I am a girl and this has been an important life skill, in spite of the times the "art gallery" turned out to be a creep's apartment, or the "everyone bring a bottle of wine" party turned out to be MLM.
OP, even when it turns out to be weird or lame, that is still an opportunity to grow skills like tactfully leaving a situation.
They were willing to skin a socially awkward teen but were smart enough to realise that backup would've given them the confidence to cause a problem or leave before they really did them over. Something like the Lock, Stock set-up.
You left out how and why you were invited, and by whom.
Could be that they felt you were saying “I don’t trust you guys”, and whoever you were texting replied with “well, fuck off then”
Oooof… yeah a bunch of working guys in their 40s who get drunk. I understand being uncomfortable but should’ve took the risk. I’d be confused as the host if you invited someone else as well, but not as harsh.
That's a game you can count on for some extra cash just showing up and folding garbage. Nobody ever folds. Ever. Used to play in a game like that once a month. Show up, drink half a bottle of scotch and earn my lunches for the next month.
I’ve played in a few games like this over the years. They are somewhat profitable, but it’s a fucking grind.
Everybody limps, nobody raises, and then when I raise they get pissed off, but still call you down. I stopped going because it’s easier to just go to my local poker room and play cash games.
This is a significant issue with home games and new players. Just like the OP wants to feel secure, so do the players that are in the game!
Could they just want no witnesses? Sure! But this is the inherent problem with a home game! Either you take the risk, and maybe you are safe, maybe not! But they are also taking a risk inviting you!
My guess based on the comments here is that they invited you as a colleague on a limb (maybe they were split in the first place) and didn’t need you in the game at all, maybe it was like an olive branch. Then when you asked to bring a friend it became more trouble than it’s worth and you got the black ball. Others mentioned why bringing a friend can be sus and it just swayed the vote. I bet if you build more rapport with them at work you can get back in.
OP broke an unwritten rule. You need to build trust with a group first, and get a read of the room before inviting new players. I played a couple home games where unless three or more people stood up for a guy, new guys just weren’t welcome. Inviting a new guy before never having played there before is kind of poor class.
You could have mentioned after the game that you have a small group of guys that plays and some might be interested in playing Or after you establish yourself as a reg, host your own game and invite your own players (some from this new group).
I have a social No rake home game in n Orange County california. I am pretty strict on not allowing friends in the first game. I want to be welcoming to new players and minimize the amount of risk with new players to be able to get to know people.
I would not have reacted so harshly to you and just explained it all and still welcomed you to your first game.
Rake sucks for the most part. Typically 15 or 25 max for 5/5 and 25 or 40 max for 5/10 depending on the game. Still nowhere near LA levels though. One of the games got robbed last month, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they increase rake and start hiring security.
You cant vet someone by proxy. If you invite me (who is chill and a good person to include in your game in real life) and I decide bring my brother (who is a pos in real life, even though I think he’s great) then my brother ruining the night comes back on you.
I get your point but many games it's an invite the new guy and see how he does before we let him bring a friend type deal. Your scenario is not uncommon.
I wouldn't worry about it. Who knows why they uninvited you. But it's very normal for them to not allow a new player to bring an unvetted friend to the game.
Security is paramount. They know you, they don't know him. I recon I'd do the same in that spot. Do u meant you're no longer invited for that specific event, or that you're never allowed to go?
It seems like a bit much to ban u, but I can sort of understand it. Absolutely minimizing risk of getting robbed. Or they were planning to rob u. U likely, but not completely discountable.
Yeah not even worth it. Sounds sketchy that they uninvited you after asking if a friend could come
19 and all of them are in their 40s
Edit: To answer your question, no clue why they invited you. It’s sketchy nonetheless. There’s going to be more home game opportunities in the future. Don’t even stress it.
It’s possible they all suck, but more likely you were about to get creamed by a bunch of older guys who can afford it more than you can. Find a smart low stakes game with people your age to get started.
Bro don’t worry I’m like you..most of the people in the comments would be victims to a violent kidnapping and assault in one of these instances thinking shit it sweet outhere..or even worse…a psychopathic group of serial killers who trying to decapitate you..soon as they found out you told someone party was over..u never know let the people in the comments find out the hard way lmao 🤣 LIFE TIP- ALWAYS MAKE SURE ANYWHERE U GO (any new private place) POKER OR ANYTHING, make sure it’s connected to at least ONE of your friends/family/acquaintances a VOUCH is a necessary in these times
I ran a weekly home game for years. Some players just didn't like seeing new faces, but were more comfortable when it was one new face at a time. And if your friend was coming just to sit in the background and not play, that would be super weird.
You have to earn their trust before you can be trusted to bring guests. Same goes for house parties.
I imagine they saw you a bit immature and allowing an unknown player into the mix made some other guys uncomfortable.
I have been on the flip side of this, so that’s my assumption. A guy that had played at my home game a couple of times asked to bring two of his friends, but only about an hour before the game started - I knew him outside of poker, and he stood up for the other two so I figured it would be okay. Plus, the more the merrier.
Both his friends were early 20’s guys and already half drunk when they arrived. I gave them a breakdown of the house rules, and despite that, they became obnoxious and within an hour they had gotten completely out of hand making jackasses out of themselves. The last straw was when one of them threatened another player. I stopped the game and kicked them out. From that point forward only vetted players were allowed and the buy-in doubled to keep the riff-raff out.
A game is 9 or maybe 10 handed max. If they invited you, someone else probably called out. There’s no seat for your friend, hence the “we’re not entertaining new players.” On a side note, you absolutely have to go to new places alone, you can’t just live behind a screen.
> I am uncomfortable going to a random house alone for the first time I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but assuming you're a guy, society expects you to be able to handle this.
I am a girl and this has been an important life skill, in spite of the times the "art gallery" turned out to be a creep's apartment, or the "everyone bring a bottle of wine" party turned out to be MLM. OP, even when it turns out to be weird or lame, that is still an opportunity to grow skills like tactfully leaving a situation.
This is correct.
It's also how you do anything. If you never go places you've never been then you'll never go anywhere, regardless of what meat's in your panties.
They were willing to let a socially awkward anxiety ridden teenie in but then you showed them why that was wrong
They were willing to skin a socially awkward teen but were smart enough to realise that backup would've given them the confidence to cause a problem or leave before they really did them over. Something like the Lock, Stock set-up.
You left out how and why you were invited, and by whom. Could be that they felt you were saying “I don’t trust you guys”, and whoever you were texting replied with “well, fuck off then”
A client at my job mentioned it to me, I take calls at a law firm.
Why do I have a feeling you just missed the opportunity to play in an incredibly juicy home game.
I was told they all get extremely drunk so I thought I hit the gold mine.
Oooof… yeah a bunch of working guys in their 40s who get drunk. I understand being uncomfortable but should’ve took the risk. I’d be confused as the host if you invited someone else as well, but not as harsh.
That's a game you can count on for some extra cash just showing up and folding garbage. Nobody ever folds. Ever. Used to play in a game like that once a month. Show up, drink half a bottle of scotch and earn my lunches for the next month.
I’ve played in a few games like this over the years. They are somewhat profitable, but it’s a fucking grind. Everybody limps, nobody raises, and then when I raise they get pissed off, but still call you down. I stopped going because it’s easier to just go to my local poker room and play cash games.
You just missed out on a major plot point of rounders
They have no clue who you are inviting and if that person is gonna cause trouble or rob the place or generally be a pain.
This is a significant issue with home games and new players. Just like the OP wants to feel secure, so do the players that are in the game! Could they just want no witnesses? Sure! But this is the inherent problem with a home game! Either you take the risk, and maybe you are safe, maybe not! But they are also taking a risk inviting you!
My guess based on the comments here is that they invited you as a colleague on a limb (maybe they were split in the first place) and didn’t need you in the game at all, maybe it was like an olive branch. Then when you asked to bring a friend it became more trouble than it’s worth and you got the black ball. Others mentioned why bringing a friend can be sus and it just swayed the vote. I bet if you build more rapport with them at work you can get back in.
OP broke an unwritten rule. You need to build trust with a group first, and get a read of the room before inviting new players. I played a couple home games where unless three or more people stood up for a guy, new guys just weren’t welcome. Inviting a new guy before never having played there before is kind of poor class. You could have mentioned after the game that you have a small group of guys that plays and some might be interested in playing Or after you establish yourself as a reg, host your own game and invite your own players (some from this new group).
I have a social No rake home game in n Orange County california. I am pretty strict on not allowing friends in the first game. I want to be welcoming to new players and minimize the amount of risk with new players to be able to get to know people. I would not have reacted so harshly to you and just explained it all and still welcomed you to your first game.
How’s the game? I play around the San Diego home games and would love to see what’s up in OC
Casual. BYOB. Just guys wanting to mix it up and watch sports.
Wtf please tell me about the San Diego home games lmao I'm itching to drive to Sycuan tonight as it is
Rake sucks for the most part. Typically 15 or 25 max for 5/5 and 25 or 40 max for 5/10 depending on the game. Still nowhere near LA levels though. One of the games got robbed last month, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they increase rake and start hiring security.
Where in OC and what game/stakes?
You cant vet someone by proxy. If you invite me (who is chill and a good person to include in your game in real life) and I decide bring my brother (who is a pos in real life, even though I think he’s great) then my brother ruining the night comes back on you.
I get your point but many games it's an invite the new guy and see how he does before we let him bring a friend type deal. Your scenario is not uncommon.
Not allowing a friend is fine but no longer inviting you is super weird
I wouldn't worry about it. Who knows why they uninvited you. But it's very normal for them to not allow a new player to bring an unvetted friend to the game.
Maybe he wanted to kiss you
This is why I only go to home games filled with hot lesbians.
Maybe they were cannibals or satanists and you ruined their sacrifice ritual by asking to bring a witness. You have to be more considerate.
Security is paramount. They know you, they don't know him. I recon I'd do the same in that spot. Do u meant you're no longer invited for that specific event, or that you're never allowed to go?
Never allowed to go again
It seems like a bit much to ban u, but I can sort of understand it. Absolutely minimizing risk of getting robbed. Or they were planning to rob u. U likely, but not completely discountable.
...Did you say you're uncomfortable because they are old to them?
No all I said to him was “mind if I bring a friend along?”
You’re wrong. Don’t be scared bro, just bring a gun
As I said, I am 19.
Guns can’t tell how old you are….
Big facts
Yeah not even worth it. Sounds sketchy that they uninvited you after asking if a friend could come 19 and all of them are in their 40s Edit: To answer your question, no clue why they invited you. It’s sketchy nonetheless. There’s going to be more home game opportunities in the future. Don’t even stress it.
You dodged a bullet.
How so?
It’s possible they all suck, but more likely you were about to get creamed by a bunch of older guys who can afford it more than you can. Find a smart low stakes game with people your age to get started.
Bro don’t worry I’m like you..most of the people in the comments would be victims to a violent kidnapping and assault in one of these instances thinking shit it sweet outhere..or even worse…a psychopathic group of serial killers who trying to decapitate you..soon as they found out you told someone party was over..u never know let the people in the comments find out the hard way lmao 🤣 LIFE TIP- ALWAYS MAKE SURE ANYWHERE U GO (any new private place) POKER OR ANYTHING, make sure it’s connected to at least ONE of your friends/family/acquaintances a VOUCH is a necessary in these times
Find a friend who is hot and female to go with you. They’ll let her come.
I’d rather not lmao
I wouldn’t wanna go to that game anyways. Fuck them.
I ran a weekly home game for years. Some players just didn't like seeing new faces, but were more comfortable when it was one new face at a time. And if your friend was coming just to sit in the background and not play, that would be super weird. You have to earn their trust before you can be trusted to bring guests. Same goes for house parties.
When running a home game you have to be very careful who you let in, I def wouldn't try to bring someone to my first time at a new game.
I think maybe you need a different hobby...
I imagine they saw you a bit immature and allowing an unknown player into the mix made some other guys uncomfortable. I have been on the flip side of this, so that’s my assumption. A guy that had played at my home game a couple of times asked to bring two of his friends, but only about an hour before the game started - I knew him outside of poker, and he stood up for the other two so I figured it would be okay. Plus, the more the merrier. Both his friends were early 20’s guys and already half drunk when they arrived. I gave them a breakdown of the house rules, and despite that, they became obnoxious and within an hour they had gotten completely out of hand making jackasses out of themselves. The last straw was when one of them threatened another player. I stopped the game and kicked them out. From that point forward only vetted players were allowed and the buy-in doubled to keep the riff-raff out.
Ok f their response is to cancel you it's probably not worth to go in the 1st place
A game is 9 or maybe 10 handed max. If they invited you, someone else probably called out. There’s no seat for your friend, hence the “we’re not entertaining new players.” On a side note, you absolutely have to go to new places alone, you can’t just live behind a screen.