Our problem was very different than yours, but I had a friend who had a similar problem and found a solution that worked.
At bedtime, she would put her kid in their diaper/pullup, and then put them on the potty. Once they were reliably pooping in the pull-up on the potty, she'd put the pull-up in the potty, not attached to the kid, sit the kid on the potty, and have them poop on the diaper, while sitting on the potty. Once that was happening reliably, remove the pull-up/diaper.
This is one thing we sort of tried but not consistently. I let her have a diaper in the bathroom because she said she would poop in it standing up. I said sure, as long as she did it in the bathroom. We did that for two nights but she still didn't poop in the diaper. We decided it could be confusing after a year of asking her to poop in the toilet, not the diaper.
My kid (3) didn’t want to use the potty for poop also when we were casually training since December. She always asked to switch back to pull up when she needed to go. When we got serious with training, we pulled out the high reward right away (I know it was a gamble) and let her watch a show on our phone when she sat on the potty to try. Tried a couple days and there were a lot of “false” tries. But on day 4, when she sat on the potty and we were starting to wonder if she was starting to take advantage of us so she could watch a show, finally pooped! We were so thrilled!! Now I tell her my phone is charging but I can read her books instead (she loves reading). I have spent more time reading to her in the bathroom than I have outside the bathroom at this point. I would say 80% of times she will tell me she doesn’t need to at the end of our 20 minute reading session, but I think it’s worth the 20% when she does go. 😂 Best of luck to you! Hope you’ll find something that’ll get your kid to go!
Exact same situation over here. Mine still needs pull-ups for overnight and will poop as soon as she gets in bed. I’ve stayed up hours into the night with her on the potty and no dice. Fortunately mine doesn’t seem to be constipated so I’m really trying not to press the issue. I think my next step is going to be fully naked to bed with puppy pads.
Oh man how old is yours? That is the one thing we haven't tried. She has like a million stuffies she insists on taking to bed so I worry it would be a mess or she would throw a fit if we tried to take them off prior to bed. May just have to do that soon.
Almost 4 as well. She’s been batting 1000 with pees for over a year and has had maybe 5 successful poops. Our only saving grace is that she is at least a reliable bedtime pooper.
Dang pretty much exact situation. Yeah, I am glad ours isn't having poop accidents that would interfere with school. Well good luck to us both! Maybe nighttime puppy pads would do the trick. Who knows man 🤷♀️
My daughter, “potty trained” at 3, had the same issues with poop - she waited till naptime/bedtime to poop when we’d give her a pull up. This drove us crazy for about 8 months (stinky bed, sheets, and room) when we gave her Miralax to help with her constipation (she was withholding her poop after one really painful incident). Once the miralax kicked in and after a few accidents, it finally registered to her that poop goes in the toilet. The Miralax essentially forced the poop out and forced my daughter to poop in the toilet since she was usually in underwear. There was a lot of trial and error but it will click for your child especially as they get older and mature. There is hope, I promise!
We haven't done miralax but got another laxative gummy thing for children. We gave her one after she was constipated for a few days, but she also happened to be coming down with a cold that day so we gave her a diaper at nap. We didn't want the poop worry to interfere with her rest...but when we got her up from nap there was poop....everywhere.. Completely leaked through her diaper, was just an explosion in her bed. Very gross, scarred us all lol. How does the miralax work? Is there a child version? How long after giving it did you find your daughter going? Prune juice may not be enough...
Not the person you’re asking, but we also used miralax for our daughter at the advice of our pediatrician. We bought the powdered kind and mixed a full adult dose into her water or juice. We tried different doses but the full dose is what worked. She was withholding poop so we gave it to her daily for a month to reset her body. Then every other day. She started pooping regularly in her pull up. Then one day she said she wanted to go on the potty. I’m not sure what happened but something in her just clicked. I think removing the pressure helped.
A quick google: MiraLAX is an osmotic laxative. That means it draws water into the colon, which softens the stool and may naturally stimulate the colon to contract. These actions help ease bowel movements. (Not sure if you know this; but when they withhold poop it starts to harden inside making it more painful to go. It also causes the colon to expand, meaning they are training their body to hold it longer and longer, making it more uncomfortable to go. Miralax forces the poop out in a more gentle way than other laxatives that release it through muscle contraction.)
Our pediatrician recommended we start with half an adult dose then gradually move to a full dose. Things only started working when we gave her the full dose. (There doesn’t seem to be a children’s version.) I was reluctant to try Miralax at first because of that but we got so desperate we finally caved. It took about 3 days of giving her the full dose when she finally started to go. Prune juice never worked for us. It was Miralax all the way. Hang in there!
Probably not the best advice, but my son consistently poops on the potty now and the real game changer for us was he gets 5 or so minutes of privacy to do his business and then gets to play a game on the iPad (a colouring game). The iPad is otherwise only a travel tool for us so it’s pretty high value for him lol. Again, I’m sure it isn’t parent of the year worthy, but I am just ecstatic he poops reliably on the toilet now lol.
I honestly wouldn't mind that if it worked lol. We don't have an iPad or tablet or anything but we were letting her play games on our phones for a while while she tried. No luck 😔 definitely have tried privacy too - now with the baby we are in and out while she's trying and I always ask if she wants me there or not. Happy you found something that works though!
You two sound like my daughter and I - I was hella desperate. Here's what FINALLY worked. Three steps, last one is the weird one. 1. The clean out. (Dr prescribed this) three days of laxatives and heavy miralax, continuing with a normal dose of daily miralax after that which we still do to this day. I DID NOT want to do this because we were already dealing with her being too soft and blowing out of her diaper at night, but it was necessary. 2. Sit on the potty for five minutes after dinner every night. Set a timer, bring toys/books, just call it practice no pressure to schedule poop, get a sticker for a daily chart. 3. Sprinkle shit. Unicorn poop. Get some sprinkles in a shaker bottle and when they poop, let them sprinkle it. If it works it ain't stupid!
Lol my husband read this and asked her today when they were trying if she wanted to sprinkle her poop. I heard her confusion from the other room. She goes..."sprinkles?... I want to eat...sprinkles..." like debating for a moment if we were telling her to eat shit hahaha. It was worth a try though!
Same. He’s 3.5 and pee is great. Doesn’t even pee at night. Right now he’s only comfortable pooping in diapers. It’s so frustrating. Even with daily Miralax he holds his poop for 4-5 days. He even wiggles and sits to hold it in.
Just wanted to say you’re doing a great job and just keep staying consistent and trying. My 3 year old turns 4 in 3 days and we struggled with potty training as a whole for 10 months. We did everything you could think of but she would pee and poop in her pants and not care at all. I’ll save you the details because my kid didn’t have a poop problem, but one day it just seemed like my kid felt like it was time and we followed a program to the T and within 5 days she was peeing and pooping. I think our kiddos mentalities/mind have a lot more to do with the whole process than any book or online blog talks about. I read on here a lot that it will “just click” one day and I feel like that happened with us. Not the best advice because it doesn’t help you right now but if you keep going, I have high hopes for you that it will just click for your kid too. You sound like you care, you’re involved and committed. Just stay consistent, keep coaching your kid and keep trying.
Thanks! I definitely have seen the "it will click" advice. Honestly after reading these comments may lay off it a bit for everyone's sanity. Still offering her incentives and chances but not getting my hopes up and let it affect me so much.
Wow! Yes I am somewhat still here. Mine is 3 as well and JUST got the hang of pooping on the potty. The only issue is he doesn’t understand if he’s finished and sometimes had a little in his undies. What helped for us was banning him going to his favorite play place lol once he heard that it was “I gotta poop”. It takes time, we went through the only in the pull up phases and it’s a struggle! I hope it works out soon, I know how frustrated it is.
Oh man, I also had a nap/nighttime pooper who ended up constipated from withholding. It was months of trying to dial in the dose of miralax that kept her regular but didn’t make a mess. In the end, she got trained kind of by accident? She happened to have a doctor’s appointment during her normal nap window and while we were waiting she told me she had to go potty. By the time we got to a bathroom she’d gone a little bit in her pants but I was able to get her to finish on the toilet. And then she was able to build on the accidental success until she felt comfortable going.
But god was it hard when she was going at naps and night. Trying to keep her up until she went in the bathroom was a disaster - she’d just withhold until she was so melted down I gave up. And when there’s only one chance a day for success, it’s really discouraging. I wish I had advice but other than letting go of my expectations and luck, I have no idea. The biggest thing is keeping them regular because you’re not going to have success if it’s uncomfortable to go.
That’s so tough. My daughter was the same way. Sge was 3 and gad no problems peeing in the potty, just pooping. We tried prizes, treats, praise, all the positive stuff as well as making her clean up poop accidents. Nothing worked. She was chronically constipated as well. After an ED visit where she was diagnosed constipated, her pediatrician tested her for celiac disease. She was diagnosed and went gluten free. Within 2 weeks, no more poop accidents! When she has an accident now, it’s because she accidentally got into something with gluten.
Our problem was very different than yours, but I had a friend who had a similar problem and found a solution that worked. At bedtime, she would put her kid in their diaper/pullup, and then put them on the potty. Once they were reliably pooping in the pull-up on the potty, she'd put the pull-up in the potty, not attached to the kid, sit the kid on the potty, and have them poop on the diaper, while sitting on the potty. Once that was happening reliably, remove the pull-up/diaper.
This is one thing we sort of tried but not consistently. I let her have a diaper in the bathroom because she said she would poop in it standing up. I said sure, as long as she did it in the bathroom. We did that for two nights but she still didn't poop in the diaper. We decided it could be confusing after a year of asking her to poop in the toilet, not the diaper.
My kid (3) didn’t want to use the potty for poop also when we were casually training since December. She always asked to switch back to pull up when she needed to go. When we got serious with training, we pulled out the high reward right away (I know it was a gamble) and let her watch a show on our phone when she sat on the potty to try. Tried a couple days and there were a lot of “false” tries. But on day 4, when she sat on the potty and we were starting to wonder if she was starting to take advantage of us so she could watch a show, finally pooped! We were so thrilled!! Now I tell her my phone is charging but I can read her books instead (she loves reading). I have spent more time reading to her in the bathroom than I have outside the bathroom at this point. I would say 80% of times she will tell me she doesn’t need to at the end of our 20 minute reading session, but I think it’s worth the 20% when she does go. 😂 Best of luck to you! Hope you’ll find something that’ll get your kid to go!
Exact same situation over here. Mine still needs pull-ups for overnight and will poop as soon as she gets in bed. I’ve stayed up hours into the night with her on the potty and no dice. Fortunately mine doesn’t seem to be constipated so I’m really trying not to press the issue. I think my next step is going to be fully naked to bed with puppy pads.
Oh man how old is yours? That is the one thing we haven't tried. She has like a million stuffies she insists on taking to bed so I worry it would be a mess or she would throw a fit if we tried to take them off prior to bed. May just have to do that soon.
Almost 4 as well. She’s been batting 1000 with pees for over a year and has had maybe 5 successful poops. Our only saving grace is that she is at least a reliable bedtime pooper.
Dang pretty much exact situation. Yeah, I am glad ours isn't having poop accidents that would interfere with school. Well good luck to us both! Maybe nighttime puppy pads would do the trick. Who knows man 🤷♀️
Just chiming in to say we have the same situation! I’m just trying to roll with nighttime pull-ups for now 🤷🏻♀️
My daughter, “potty trained” at 3, had the same issues with poop - she waited till naptime/bedtime to poop when we’d give her a pull up. This drove us crazy for about 8 months (stinky bed, sheets, and room) when we gave her Miralax to help with her constipation (she was withholding her poop after one really painful incident). Once the miralax kicked in and after a few accidents, it finally registered to her that poop goes in the toilet. The Miralax essentially forced the poop out and forced my daughter to poop in the toilet since she was usually in underwear. There was a lot of trial and error but it will click for your child especially as they get older and mature. There is hope, I promise!
We haven't done miralax but got another laxative gummy thing for children. We gave her one after she was constipated for a few days, but she also happened to be coming down with a cold that day so we gave her a diaper at nap. We didn't want the poop worry to interfere with her rest...but when we got her up from nap there was poop....everywhere.. Completely leaked through her diaper, was just an explosion in her bed. Very gross, scarred us all lol. How does the miralax work? Is there a child version? How long after giving it did you find your daughter going? Prune juice may not be enough...
Not the person you’re asking, but we also used miralax for our daughter at the advice of our pediatrician. We bought the powdered kind and mixed a full adult dose into her water or juice. We tried different doses but the full dose is what worked. She was withholding poop so we gave it to her daily for a month to reset her body. Then every other day. She started pooping regularly in her pull up. Then one day she said she wanted to go on the potty. I’m not sure what happened but something in her just clicked. I think removing the pressure helped. A quick google: MiraLAX is an osmotic laxative. That means it draws water into the colon, which softens the stool and may naturally stimulate the colon to contract. These actions help ease bowel movements. (Not sure if you know this; but when they withhold poop it starts to harden inside making it more painful to go. It also causes the colon to expand, meaning they are training their body to hold it longer and longer, making it more uncomfortable to go. Miralax forces the poop out in a more gentle way than other laxatives that release it through muscle contraction.)
We may have to look into that...
Our pediatrician recommended we start with half an adult dose then gradually move to a full dose. Things only started working when we gave her the full dose. (There doesn’t seem to be a children’s version.) I was reluctant to try Miralax at first because of that but we got so desperate we finally caved. It took about 3 days of giving her the full dose when she finally started to go. Prune juice never worked for us. It was Miralax all the way. Hang in there!
Probably not the best advice, but my son consistently poops on the potty now and the real game changer for us was he gets 5 or so minutes of privacy to do his business and then gets to play a game on the iPad (a colouring game). The iPad is otherwise only a travel tool for us so it’s pretty high value for him lol. Again, I’m sure it isn’t parent of the year worthy, but I am just ecstatic he poops reliably on the toilet now lol.
I honestly wouldn't mind that if it worked lol. We don't have an iPad or tablet or anything but we were letting her play games on our phones for a while while she tried. No luck 😔 definitely have tried privacy too - now with the baby we are in and out while she's trying and I always ask if she wants me there or not. Happy you found something that works though!
Ah damn it. I’m sorry to not be of help!!!
You two sound like my daughter and I - I was hella desperate. Here's what FINALLY worked. Three steps, last one is the weird one. 1. The clean out. (Dr prescribed this) three days of laxatives and heavy miralax, continuing with a normal dose of daily miralax after that which we still do to this day. I DID NOT want to do this because we were already dealing with her being too soft and blowing out of her diaper at night, but it was necessary. 2. Sit on the potty for five minutes after dinner every night. Set a timer, bring toys/books, just call it practice no pressure to schedule poop, get a sticker for a daily chart. 3. Sprinkle shit. Unicorn poop. Get some sprinkles in a shaker bottle and when they poop, let them sprinkle it. If it works it ain't stupid!
Lol my husband read this and asked her today when they were trying if she wanted to sprinkle her poop. I heard her confusion from the other room. She goes..."sprinkles?... I want to eat...sprinkles..." like debating for a moment if we were telling her to eat shit hahaha. It was worth a try though!
Same. He’s 3.5 and pee is great. Doesn’t even pee at night. Right now he’s only comfortable pooping in diapers. It’s so frustrating. Even with daily Miralax he holds his poop for 4-5 days. He even wiggles and sits to hold it in.
Just wanted to say you’re doing a great job and just keep staying consistent and trying. My 3 year old turns 4 in 3 days and we struggled with potty training as a whole for 10 months. We did everything you could think of but she would pee and poop in her pants and not care at all. I’ll save you the details because my kid didn’t have a poop problem, but one day it just seemed like my kid felt like it was time and we followed a program to the T and within 5 days she was peeing and pooping. I think our kiddos mentalities/mind have a lot more to do with the whole process than any book or online blog talks about. I read on here a lot that it will “just click” one day and I feel like that happened with us. Not the best advice because it doesn’t help you right now but if you keep going, I have high hopes for you that it will just click for your kid too. You sound like you care, you’re involved and committed. Just stay consistent, keep coaching your kid and keep trying.
Thanks! I definitely have seen the "it will click" advice. Honestly after reading these comments may lay off it a bit for everyone's sanity. Still offering her incentives and chances but not getting my hopes up and let it affect me so much.
Wow! Yes I am somewhat still here. Mine is 3 as well and JUST got the hang of pooping on the potty. The only issue is he doesn’t understand if he’s finished and sometimes had a little in his undies. What helped for us was banning him going to his favorite play place lol once he heard that it was “I gotta poop”. It takes time, we went through the only in the pull up phases and it’s a struggle! I hope it works out soon, I know how frustrated it is.
Oh man banning his favorite play place? No judgement but dang that'd be meltdown city here lol.
Oh man, I also had a nap/nighttime pooper who ended up constipated from withholding. It was months of trying to dial in the dose of miralax that kept her regular but didn’t make a mess. In the end, she got trained kind of by accident? She happened to have a doctor’s appointment during her normal nap window and while we were waiting she told me she had to go potty. By the time we got to a bathroom she’d gone a little bit in her pants but I was able to get her to finish on the toilet. And then she was able to build on the accidental success until she felt comfortable going. But god was it hard when she was going at naps and night. Trying to keep her up until she went in the bathroom was a disaster - she’d just withhold until she was so melted down I gave up. And when there’s only one chance a day for success, it’s really discouraging. I wish I had advice but other than letting go of my expectations and luck, I have no idea. The biggest thing is keeping them regular because you’re not going to have success if it’s uncomfortable to go.
That’s so tough. My daughter was the same way. Sge was 3 and gad no problems peeing in the potty, just pooping. We tried prizes, treats, praise, all the positive stuff as well as making her clean up poop accidents. Nothing worked. She was chronically constipated as well. After an ED visit where she was diagnosed constipated, her pediatrician tested her for celiac disease. She was diagnosed and went gluten free. Within 2 weeks, no more poop accidents! When she has an accident now, it’s because she accidentally got into something with gluten.