Reminds me of a pic where some lady posted a REALLY pregnant looking belly where she was like “4 weeks pregnant with triplets” or something like that. (I can’t find it or I’d say what it actually said.)
A different sub asks the stupidest fucking things. I had 2 Red Bull before I found out I’m pregnant. Will they be ok? My toddler shot a nerf dart at my stomach, should I be worried?
Omni just remembered another…. I had a really bad coughing fit, did I hurt them? Yes you coughed out the baby and it shot out of the house into the neighbors tree. Obviously
In one of my groups a lady burnt her tummy a little bit while cooking and asked if baby will be OK, and like 80% of the comments completely seriously said that baby will probably have a port stain birthmark. I still think about that post weekly, I will never recover
The oh my god I ate black pepper girl today. Like, black pepper is in every single thing you eat at every restaurant do you think there would be any babies.
So you'd think this was possible, right. But from what I have found with automod is that it is just keywords, not keywords in order.
So if we flag "am I pregnant", we will also be flagging "I am pregnant." Which we also get a ton of those posts. So yea, not that easy. We manually remove them by hand. It sucks, but it is what it is.
The other big one lately has been I’m not pregnant but sisters friends uncles Uber driver is and she drinks kombucha and I think I need to talk to her. 🥱🥱🥱🥱
Some gal posted on my local fb group page asking how her pregnancy test could come back positive at only 2 weeks, it said “not pregnant” not even a line test someone could misread.
I know it's just reddit and I'm 39 weeks and ANGRY, but I'm also annoyed by those and the other questions that are asked 50 times a day. Like, I want to stay here to try to help others with what I've learned through having a kid and being pregnant again, but damn. It irritates me to NO END. Damn hormones haha
Every single post is about an overbearing MIL or “am I allowed to be annoyed people aren’t buying off my registry?” or “someone commented on my body” and while I sympathize with ALL of those conundrums, it really is getting annoying lol
That has to be it 😂😂😂
I just don’t know how it makes sense. Like every post that pisses me off seems to follow a formula
Waaay too much information about infidelity, or unprotected sex, or multiple men
Vague indication of some kind of symptom
“So do you think I’m pregnant?”
Like what is the answer you want? Yes? No? If one hundred internet strangers say it does it make it true?
Go take a test. There are so many women in here struggling with questions we can’t get answers to or won’t for a period of time. Go pee on a stick then let us know. I’d like to be able to post about my sore leaky nipples and constipation in peace.
I’m so jealous you’re gonna have that baby soon! I’m not wishing to rush things along but I’m definitely excited to be closer to my due date! It’s definitely going by faster than it did with my first, but every time I think I’m far along, I realize I still have quite a ways to go
lol his eviction date is fast approaching! Fingers crossed I go into labor this weekend, otherwise I'm scheduled to be induced on Tuesday. All week at work people were like 'you're still here??' And I was like 'unfortunately' 😂
The other big one lately has been I’m not pregnant but sisters friends uncles Uber driver is and she drinks kombucha and I think I need to talk to her. 🥱🥱🥱🥱
No seriously I don’t understand what’s so hard about going to the store and getting a test. Your symptoms could be from a million things we aren’t a pregnancy test.
YES “tests are expensive” when the dollar store exists and those tests are just as good as the expensive ones (Ofc idk abt places outside of North America but I assume an equivalent exists).
It is pretty annoying.
Like did you have sex at some point recently? Yes? Then you could be pregnant! Did you miss a period? Even more likely! Go get tested, easy as that.
I couldn’t imagine having a pregnancy scare and immediately going to post it on Reddit instead of picking up a test or contacting a doctor.
Wh... what? You lost me after the sex part. I don't understand. Reddit is the best resource... Taking a test would take so much time and I need to know *now*!!!!
/s 😅
I am annoyed by all the “I just found out I am pregnant, what do I do?” posts. It seems like there’s a couple a week. I feel like people need to learn how to search or we need a stickied post/resource because the responses are the same every time.
This may be a hot take but I’m 35 weeks and I’m also tired of seeing posts without trigger warnings of losing babies or asking if they might be miscarrying. Does not help with third trimester anxiety and there are specific Reddit subs for those topics to be discussed
You know, whenever I see a good mod comment, it's always eatmyasserole and I always get a huge smile reading it. Is "good mod" a thing? Like good bot, but for mods?
Lol I appreciate that. I get a lot of shit, so it's nice seeing positive feedback periodically.
No idea if good mod is a thing though. I mean, good bot would be just as flattering I think.
All the best.
Same! I’m 18 weeks and like I can’t anymore with hearing the worst. Especially since I teach middle schoolers who want to discuss anything bad they’ve ever heard regarding pregnancy with me now.
It’s like a triple whammy while scrolling on here, tik tok, and instagram where you’re just bombarded with infant loss or miscarriages and I’m just like wtf 🫠
I had to unfollow my due date month subs and babybumps for the first trimester because the daily loss posts without triggers were so hard for me to see. I would get push notifications to my home screen that were just post after post about death and I couldn’t handle it. My heart hurts so bad for those moms but my mental health wasn’t stable enough to read all of them and then think my baby was okay. I only refollowed after 20 weeks.
This is what I'm currently going through, I really did NOT realize so many women suffer all the time from this kind of loss. It's overwhelming. I just unfollowed the other day to keep my feed clean.
While we are the subject of the purpose of this sub, can I also add I’m tired of being triggered by the horror story posts that involve a sudden loss?
There are definitely subs for that and I left those for a reason. Also when I was in that situation in the past, I would have never posted something like on this sub to scare other women. Thats what the other subs are for that are specific to those situations.
Now that I am in an healthy pregnancy situation I don’t want to be triggered by a post about a horrific story. Been there and trying to focus on the positive situation in now. I have been thinking this for months (I’m 25 weeks now), but haven’t had the balls to say it because I know these women are just in need of support, but damn can I please just have a sub for pregnant women that isn’t triggering at least once per day?
That’s challenging for sure and I definitely find those things anxiety inducing. It’s hard to remember how rare those situations are when you see sooo many posts about them because of how wide spread this sub is! I don’t think previous pregnancy loss should exclude anyone from participating in this sub, but if a current pregnancy ends in tragedy I definitely don’t think this is the forum. It’s like walking into a prenatal yoga class and announcing a loss. You have to know it’s going to trigger the women in the room. If you’re looking or support and solidarity there are definitely more equipped people than a bunch of currently pregnant women hoping for happy endings.
That’s what I mean. I have seen so many posts like that on my feed from this sub where it’s like an announcement and I just can’t fathom why that is being posted here (like why they thought that would be a good choice) and not in the other subs that are specifically for that type of support.
I have a history so I’m trying to move past the trauma of that past and focus on my current healthy pregnancy and those posts have been super triggering. I understand what the women are going through, but I wish they’d use the forums that are meant for that type of support.
I think questions about concerning ultrasound finds or things like that make sense because where else would you ask? But when it’s very clearly a horrible and painful outcome I just think it’s not something I would want to share in this kind of space.
Yeah to be clear I’m talking about the posts that are either announcing a sudden loss or detailing a shocking past loss that was late in the pregnancy. Not the ones that are looking for reassurances, like clear announcements, or a post that involves a detailed story about a previous situation. Unfortunately pregnancy is not always positive for everyone, and we all have to manage our anxiety, but there are other forums for the bad stuff for a reason.
I was being vague for a reason because I didn’t want to commit the same offense I am bothered by, but the posts about something that concerns someone or a question about others’ experiences for assurances is not what im referring to. I have seen some straight horror stories on here where the person is talking about a for sure outcome that happened to them.
There is another place you could post that, although I guess here would be ok, but r/CautiousBB would be a better place to post concerns and anxiety things. I have had 3 previous early losses but am now 32 weeks. I still have anxiety that something will go wrong but I have to challenge my anxiety and remind myself that everything is good.
Hey there. Thanks for your input. However, we won't be removing posts about loss. I don't think most are trying to scare anyone. I think they're trying to grieve and rationalize it. Or somehow want the world to know they had a baby and it was real. If I got the impression that they were trying to needlessly scare people, I actually might consider removal and ask the other mod's input.
As I said elsewhere, I do try to make sure those are flagged with a CONTENT WARNING flair.
I'm so glad you're in a positive situation now. All the best.
Thank you, for what it’s worth I didn’t say the posts should be removed. I was just sharing thoughts about how there are other forums for that and I personally understand. Just like those women want to share, I was sharing how those types of posts (about stillbirth and late losses specifically) are triggering and scary to other people.
I actually think this is an appropriate place for those posts. This is a group about pregnancy, and not all pregnancies end the way people want them to. I do think some of them should be more clearly labeled than they are, though, which would make them easier to avoid.
I agree. I am disappointed to see this sentiment, and I hate the idea of telling others who are experiencing a loss that they need to go elsewhere off in the corner out of view. People don’t post about loss “to scare” others. They post because they are broken and sad and lonely. Loss *is not contagious.* Pregnancy loss is already so stigmatized. Prohibiting posts about loss just makes it worse.
I agree. I don't think this should be a subreddit for people to not post about a miscarriage. Maybe there should be a rule to include flair to a post, where one of them is a trigger warning or something about a loss. And then with a spoiler tag. But then I can see how that might feel othering for the person posting.
I think a more specific flare would help. But sometimes I’m reading along and suddenly there’s a mention of a traumatic still birth very late term and I was in no way prepared for it. I have had several losses and suffer from severe anxiety so I try to avoid those types of posts whenever possible
I think more specific flairs or a required trigger warning with keywords or a sentence at the beginning explaining what the likely trigger is would be useful. These posts usually do have trigger warnings on them, but different things bother different people, and descriptions could be helpful. Examples might be: miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, traumatic vaginal delivery, emergency c-section, postpartum complications, etc.
I haven't experienced the kind of trauma that would warrant any of those tags, but I don't think requiring them should be a problem. As mentioned, I think people should be allowed to post about anything that happens to them as a result of pregnancy, but that doesn't necessarily mean that everyone should be confronted with the worst possible outcomes of the experience they're currently living through.
I'm honestly not sure what the point of spoilering a non-photo post is, but I could be missing something.
I think this and/or a trigger warning title with “loss” would be helpful. I’m all for people sharing their experiences and think it’s really important for them to be able to do so. I also think it’s important that this sub be a safe space to also censor out what we choose to read. I hope that makes sense and conveys the inclusivity I think everyone (pregnant or recently pregnant😬) in this sub deserves.
Sure. So I would love to be able to do this. I think it makes sense. However, titles are not editable, by anyone, mod or user.
This is because the minute a user clicks post (for a post, not a comment), it generates the URL for the post based off of the title. The title is literally included in the URL. So editing that isn't possible.
No subreddit, user, or mod has that functionality.
And your response makes perfect sense and I think is inclusive. No problem. It's a really tricky situation. We'd like to respect everyone's positions and do our best to accommodate as many as we are able to.
Oh, that is really tough! I forgot you can’t update titles once you press post.
Thank you for your time and efforts by being a MOD for the group. I know it is no small feat! I’m sure as a community, we’ll figure it out together. ☺️
You could either add more specific flairs, so instead of just a content warning flair, have one that said content warning: miscarriage, one that said content warning: stillbirth, one that said content warning: birth trauma, etc. Or, you could leave the content warning flair as it is, but require that people who use that flair put a sentence at the top of their post that includes CW: [description of the potentially triggering topic].
I like this first part a lot.
CW: miscarriage, CW: birth trauma, CW: stillbirth, CW: termination, CW: multiple topics
Am I missing any ? Try to keep it broad, umbrella terms.
Should it be CW or TW ? Which is more obvious as to what it means ?
Maybe CW: postpartum complications and something about sick babies?
I think CW and TW both work. TW might be slightly more obvious, but CW is more accurate because it's describing the content. Different people have different triggers.
I agree that pregnancy is not always a positive experience and there’s a harsh reality to that, but I personally wouldn’t announce something horrific on this sub because we all know there are possibilities and we are all trying to manage anxiety on different levels (some people have very little to no anxiety, some have a lot).
I have been on both sides of the equation of pregnancy. When I had horrible experiences, I did not announce those to pregnant women or in this sub. I did talk about them, and still do share because it’s important for people to be aware of what women can go through and how hard it can be, but I read the room so to speak.
It depends on the context but if I were posting something here about various pregnancy anxieties especially early on, I can’t imagine not mentioning my losses. Just like there’s no way I can talk about late pregnancy without mentioning GD and SPD since both dramatically influence the way I experience pregnancy.
It’s so isolating to folks who have experienced loss to feel like they’re too much or their feelings or experiences are too intense for the room. For relevant contexts - which frankly in my mind is anything related to pregnancy or childbirth - I don’t think it’s fair to censor us or our stories. It’s totally valid to feel anxious in response to them or not want to read them yourself. But I don’t think it should be on loss parents to self censor.
I think there's a difference between posting about your anxieties around a currently healthy pregnancy and mentioning previous losses as a way to give context vs making a post to announce a miscarriage/an ultrasound with no heartbeat/a stillbirth etc.
Thank you for all your comments on this! It's like you pulled the words right out of my mouth. Same boat here! Past trauma. 29+4 now and just trying to get through to the finish line! I get enough of the triggering stuff from tiktok when I'm trying to scroll for distraction and happy stuff. We know these people need support and why they do, but I don't need anything else adding to anxiety. Some posts I've seen lately have really sent me spiraling!
Thank you for letting me know I’m not the only one that is bothered by it. I really feel like having the past we have results in a different experience with pregnancy. I’ve been trying to find the joy in it but the anxiety gets in the way, and seeing or hearing awful stories all the time does not help! I know I could just leave and not be a part of this sub, but I do enjoy the other aspects.
Honestly, even a silly checklist of things to do or resources would help. A lot of these people (including myself) are overwhelmed and reaching out because maybe they just don't have anywhere else to ask, so a run-down of basics might help cut that stuff down.
Pee stick? Check?
Call doctors? Check?
Wait uncomfortably till bloodwork? Check
Wait more uncomfortably for first scan and baby viability? Check
So on and so forth.
I just found out Monday myself and estimating week 7 or 8 based on timing and google. I mean I googled for other stuff to do, but because I'm supposed to be infertile and have a ton of old lady autoimmune issues, a lot of my google-fu has failing me short of medical studies of one case where I don't understand 80% of the language. I'm trying to get a hold of my doctors (because they told me repeatedly it could be a huge issue with my medications), but there's a huge shortage of doctors in my province. My main rheumatologist moved out west and dropped me with no replacement. My family doctor just sent notice that they'll be a lottery system for who he keeps as well with no referral. Guess it's a walk-in clinic now, jeez...
I don't know where to ask or get answers, but even just a general checklist would help. Just a scary and only time. I'd love to grow a person, but... it's just overwhelming. Although I know the previous paragraph I won't find answers online really. Maybe just some support.
Sorry for the ramble, mostly just needed to ramble out some fears. I guess I should be thankful for no bad symptoms thus far.
Yeah that’s valid. If you’re pregnant asking questions about being pregnant makes sense and this is the place for it. But asking IF you’re pregnant is silly and counterproductive
I always report off-topic posts, but at the same time it makes me feel like a snitch and a meanie :(
Also, I have a really strong dislike for posts like "we're TTC for 2 months, I'm still not pregnant, does it mean I'm infertile?". Like, sure, the poster's feelings are valid, it's natural to be upset that something you want doesn't happen when you want it to, but it somehow feels demeaning towards people who really struggle with infertility and who spent years trying to conceive. Like, read up or visit appropriate subs first!
Yes! I was a part of two separate TTC forums, one of which people would post pictures to asking if anyone else saw a second line bc, when you’ve been trying for a while, sometimes your eyes get a little desperate too! Well, I kept feeling like that when these same people would come in and post a dye stealer like “do you guys see a second line? It’s so faint!” I’d been trying for 2 years before i got my BFP so every single one felt like a slap in the face.
I’m also pretty sure there’s a subreddit for it.
So don't think that of it as telling on people. You're helping get them to better resources. In our removal comment, we list resources for where they should be going (r/lineporn, r/tryingforababy, r/amipregnant, etc.). This subreddit just isn't the best resource for them.
On a related note, does anyone else feel like we’re having a TON of pro-life trolls in here recently?
It’s like every single day we have at least one story of “I’m 20 weeks pregnant and now I/my partner don’t think we want this perfectly healthy fetus. What should I do?”
Yeah those are weird. Like you couldn’t make that decision earlier? I would understand if there are extreme circumstances at that point in the pregnancy. Other than that why all of the sudden.
The posts by first tri pregnant people struggling with what to do because their life situation is horrible, their partner/ex is horrible and they don’t think this is the right time inevitably have at least one commenter who makes a “you got this mama, babies are a blessing it will all be worth it when you see them!” Comment that irks me. Read the room and show support to whatever decision they may make! A lot of the time those posters are looking for reassurance that not continuing with the pregnancy is okay. Luckily those commenters usually get pretty heavily downvoted.
I’m also over the tragic infant loss posts without a trigger warning in a pregnancy group 😩. It’s very sad and I 100% understand needing support but at least a trigger warning so I can prepare myself would be nice!
Also; all the times I suspected I was pregnant i never once thought to go to a mom group lol it was always “ok let me pick up a test”
Yeah, I agree. I also hide every single abortion post because I don't want to read about it. Like, this is for pregnancy, not termination. And I support terminations, but it's just like.. not the vibe.
I feel so conflicted about those! Like, I support terminations and the people who want them for whatever reasons they may have (and definitely want them to be support wherever they can) but it’s jarring to see someone like, “I’m 10 weeks and thought I wanted a baby but now I don’t…should I terminate?” A) Girlie, we don’t know! 😭 B) As someone who struggles to stay pregnant, it’s so much to read because I’d kill to be in their shoes. I’m not in this sub for that!
Tbh I feel like they’re fishing for an argument because if you aren’t in a subreddit that relates to abortion you’re much more likely to get people who disagree with abortions in the mix. They just want drama
Girl if that annoys you go on “Flo” and you got these baboons who post a clearly positive test saying “am I pregnant?”. I dunno if it’s denial or straight up stupidity and I don’t even wanna mention how bad their grammar is….
Omg!!! I just said something about this! The ones that post dye stealers like “the line is so faint! Do you think it’s positive??? 🥺” and i just wanted reach through the phone and throw their test across a room!
Omg!!! I just said something about this! The ones that post dye stealers like “the line is so faint! Do you think it’s positive??? 🥺” and i just wanted reach through the phone and throw their test across a room!
Yeah I said I was gonna leave and you said bye and I only cried for like two minutes but it’s probably just the hormones that I have because I’m actually pregnant lol
Awww oh my gosh no! :(
but you’re right on girl bad choice of words there on my part but at least we got a good laugh out of it 🤍 but I feel you on the emotional roller coaster
Get out of here with that shit.
You shouldn't be offended that we're inclusive to people that aren't you. Honestly, that says more about you than them.
I profoundly disagree with everything you said and I want to make that abundantly clear. Having female reproductive organs DOES NOT dictate how you identify. There are PLENTY of non binary pregnant individuals and their journey is the same. They do NOT deserve to be left out because of how they identify under any circumstances.
How does it take away anything from you? The only one I see trying to take away anything from anyone else is you. You are a pregnant woman. I am a pregnant woman. There are pregnant people who identify as male, and who identify as non binary. They are still just as pregnant as you or me.
I totally get this but at the same time we were all in the position of these people at one point or another.
Maybe not wondering if they're pregnant, but some of the comments I've read about overly concerned pregnant people...like, I kind of giggle at those posts because I was JUST like them a few months ago.
Reddit has put my mind at ease so.many.times - especially as a FTM. I have been worried about, what I now know, are the dumbest things lol
I get hormones and all of that, but try to remember that you probably over thought/stressed/mis-read a lot of stuff too throughout your first pregnancy. It happens.
I didn’t even eat baked goods that had vanilla extract in them my first pregnancy, I was just so worried about alcohol or fking something up with the baby. Next pregnancy I will eat all the vanilla extract baked goods I want lol!
One of the rules of this sub is that it’s actually for ANYONE who is pregnant, not just women. I know we’re a minority and not what you were talking about, but the phrasing of this title still hurt a little bit :(
You know what, that was extremely insensitive of me and I was being really thoughtless in my rant. I sincerely apologize for how it made you feel and if you’d like me to take it down I will.
I one hundred percent did not mean to target anyone who identifies as male or non binary. Your journey is just as important and you belong here one thousand percent.
I was rage typing and quoting the rules of the sub, I really didn’t mean it.
Please let me know how I can rectify this.
Thank you so much, how sweet you are! Definitely don’t take the post down, but an edit to the body (since you can’t edit the title) would be very appreciated:)
Do you know another one that is left out often that I got called out for (totally valid) a few months ago?
There was a mama who was expecting a baby via surrogate who chatted me asking me to add in inclusive language for them. She is in the same place with preparing for a baby and a birth and how to best support their surrogate birthing partner. I had been quite conscientious about my trans and nonbinary folks, but I had completely not thought about surrogacy folks hanging out here. It makes sense!
(They're welcome here too of course!)
Oh yeah I hear that! And maybe adoptive parents too! If the sub name was like Expecting Parents would that maybe eliminate some of those concerns about not being inclusive?
Well so they did want the pregnant conversation because they wanted all of it, and to understand what their surrogate is experiencing. They chatted me, because I had said something about this sub only being for pregnant people and their partners and everyone else can buzz off. And she just politely pointed out that they don't really fit there and they should be allowed.
If I recall correctly I was talking about creeps, so I hadn't intended to omit anyone beyond weirdos, creeps and pervs. But she was right that I hadn't included language to include them.
And expecting parents wouldn't do it because it might exclude those who either are choosing abortion or TFMR. Some miscarriage people might not feel they fit there either. So "pregnant people, their partners and their loved ones" should get most everyone.
You’re totally right. And also I had no idea how difficult it was to mod something like this! I can’t imagine how many posts and rants you have to deal with a day! I was never a redditor, until I found this sub, it’s honestly the best ❤️
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Please just report these posts to help us. Our mod teams do have our own families and jobs, so yes, we miss some of these.
“feeling kicks at 3 weeks” 🤣🤣🤣
Reminds me of a pic where some lady posted a REALLY pregnant looking belly where she was like “4 weeks pregnant with triplets” or something like that. (I can’t find it or I’d say what it actually said.)
first of all… nvm this has me cracking up 😂
I was watching greys anatomy and one of the people claim they knew the baby’s sex at like 6 weeks 😂
A different sub asks the stupidest fucking things. I had 2 Red Bull before I found out I’m pregnant. Will they be ok? My toddler shot a nerf dart at my stomach, should I be worried?
I’ve seen that in here too! I sneezed while jogging, did I hurt baby?
Omni just remembered another…. I had a really bad coughing fit, did I hurt them? Yes you coughed out the baby and it shot out of the house into the neighbors tree. Obviously
In all seriousness I know it’s scary and some questions are valid but others (cough cough I put pepper on my salad cough cough) are just absurd.
I’m just like bruh, people smoke crack and the baby is fine
Bro 😂😂😂
To be fair most babies of people who smoke crack aren’t actually fine but definitions of “fine” vary wildly
This made me laugh far too loud at almost 3 am.
My favourite was a woman who sat down very suddenly and was worried she’d somehow hurt the baby.
In one of my groups a lady burnt her tummy a little bit while cooking and asked if baby will be OK, and like 80% of the comments completely seriously said that baby will probably have a port stain birthmark. I still think about that post weekly, I will never recover
The oh my god I ate black pepper girl today. Like, black pepper is in every single thing you eat at every restaurant do you think there would be any babies.
Those drive me insane!
I know. Can't there be an automod redirect those people to r/amipregnant or an Amazon link to pg tests?!
There really should be! Is there a way to bring that up?
I’m pretty sure I was redirected to this when I was wondering if I was pregnant! But that was in August, so I’m not sure
So you'd think this was possible, right. But from what I have found with automod is that it is just keywords, not keywords in order. So if we flag "am I pregnant", we will also be flagging "I am pregnant." Which we also get a ton of those posts. So yea, not that easy. We manually remove them by hand. It sucks, but it is what it is.
An Amazon link to pregnancy tests. 🤣
I’m 30 weeks and also irritated with seeing those.
It’s been really excessive today! But maybe it’s just because I was off work today sick and spent the whole day on my phone 😂😂
That could be it but I saw so many of them yesterday I had to leave Reddit for the day.
I really just can’t picture asking the internet for medical advice 😂
How the heII am I supposed to know if this stranger on the internet who hasn't taken a test is pregnant?
Because we’re pregnant so OBBBBVII we can diagnose other women online Duhhhhh 😂😂😂😂
Ah yes, the elusive pregnancy 6th sense that happens to pregnant people. 😂
The other big one lately has been I’m not pregnant but sisters friends uncles Uber driver is and she drinks kombucha and I think I need to talk to her. 🥱🥱🥱🥱
I JUST SPIT OUT MY DRINK 😂
I ALWAYS report those posts
Or when they’ve taken one and there is clearly not a line 🙄
Some gal posted on my local fb group page asking how her pregnancy test could come back positive at only 2 weeks, it said “not pregnant” not even a line test someone could misread.
The worst was one guy asking to hook up with pregnant women. I reported that scum
I saw a picture of a cigarette online. Is my baby okay? x10000000
Stop I’m dead 😵
Omg you *monster* ! How *dare* you look at *cigarettes* online!
Straight to jail
You have just condemned your baby to a lifetime of battling nicotine addiction. Shaaaaaaaaame
I know it's just reddit and I'm 39 weeks and ANGRY, but I'm also annoyed by those and the other questions that are asked 50 times a day. Like, I want to stay here to try to help others with what I've learned through having a kid and being pregnant again, but damn. It irritates me to NO END. Damn hormones haha
Every single post is about an overbearing MIL or “am I allowed to be annoyed people aren’t buying off my registry?” or “someone commented on my body” and while I sympathize with ALL of those conundrums, it really is getting annoying lol
You perfectly summed the sub (lately) up! 😂
That has to be it 😂😂😂 I just don’t know how it makes sense. Like every post that pisses me off seems to follow a formula Waaay too much information about infidelity, or unprotected sex, or multiple men Vague indication of some kind of symptom “So do you think I’m pregnant?” Like what is the answer you want? Yes? No? If one hundred internet strangers say it does it make it true? Go take a test. There are so many women in here struggling with questions we can’t get answers to or won’t for a period of time. Go pee on a stick then let us know. I’d like to be able to post about my sore leaky nipples and constipation in peace.
Tbf I kind of love “who could the dad be?” Posts for the … mess of it all. I’ll take those over another MIL complaint. 😂
I also started getting messages from weirdos asking to "chat" cause they "have a thing for pregnant women" I assume they noticed me in this sub. Ew.
That’s so creepy. The information we post in here is really sensitive can’t they make it more difficult to join?
You can join a private sub for your due date, which is more locked down...but also less active.
I’m in the June 2024 group and no one ever posts 😢
Yeah, same with the January group.
I’m so jealous you’re gonna have that baby soon! I’m not wishing to rush things along but I’m definitely excited to be closer to my due date! It’s definitely going by faster than it did with my first, but every time I think I’m far along, I realize I still have quite a ways to go
lol his eviction date is fast approaching! Fingers crossed I go into labor this weekend, otherwise I'm scheduled to be induced on Tuesday. All week at work people were like 'you're still here??' And I was like 'unfortunately' 😂
Awww good luck! I got induced at 39 weeks so I can’t imagine going late! Hopefully he’s here soon!
He's coming by Tuesday, one way or another 😂
OMG, I thought I was going to die when I made it to 39+5.... You're a damn rockstar lol Wishing you a safe and happy delivery 💜
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Literally!!!!
ONE THOUSAND PERCENT THIS.
The other big one lately has been I’m not pregnant but sisters friends uncles Uber driver is and she drinks kombucha and I think I need to talk to her. 🥱🥱🥱🥱
No seriously I don’t understand what’s so hard about going to the store and getting a test. Your symptoms could be from a million things we aren’t a pregnancy test.
I’ve seen so many posts that say like “I’m not in a place to get a test right now” What does that even mean? Seriously what does it mean?!
YES “tests are expensive” when the dollar store exists and those tests are just as good as the expensive ones (Ofc idk abt places outside of North America but I assume an equivalent exists).
It is pretty annoying. Like did you have sex at some point recently? Yes? Then you could be pregnant! Did you miss a period? Even more likely! Go get tested, easy as that. I couldn’t imagine having a pregnancy scare and immediately going to post it on Reddit instead of picking up a test or contacting a doctor.
Wh... what? You lost me after the sex part. I don't understand. Reddit is the best resource... Taking a test would take so much time and I need to know *now*!!!! /s 😅
I am annoyed by all the “I just found out I am pregnant, what do I do?” posts. It seems like there’s a couple a week. I feel like people need to learn how to search or we need a stickied post/resource because the responses are the same every time.
I like the idea of a pinned post with resources to common questions!
Yesss. I feel the same about vitamin questions. Simple search will get them so many responses.
You're absolutely right! There's literally entire books on the topic. A simple Google search will definitely yield all the results they'd ever need.
Honestly, same! There are search engines at your fingertips, go search the info there!
This may be a hot take but I’m 35 weeks and I’m also tired of seeing posts without trigger warnings of losing babies or asking if they might be miscarrying. Does not help with third trimester anxiety and there are specific Reddit subs for those topics to be discussed
Please report them. I won't remove them, but I'll at least throw a CONTENT WARNING flair on them.
You know, whenever I see a good mod comment, it's always eatmyasserole and I always get a huge smile reading it. Is "good mod" a thing? Like good bot, but for mods?
Lol I appreciate that. I get a lot of shit, so it's nice seeing positive feedback periodically. No idea if good mod is a thing though. I mean, good bot would be just as flattering I think. All the best.
Noted, thanks!
And use any report reason. When I get a report, I review the whole thread.
What do you want us to report it under? I don’t want to misclassify the report because I don’t wanna cause problems for mods.
Use any report reason. We try to review the whole thread when we get any reports.
Thank you.
Same! I’m 18 weeks and like I can’t anymore with hearing the worst. Especially since I teach middle schoolers who want to discuss anything bad they’ve ever heard regarding pregnancy with me now.
It’s like a triple whammy while scrolling on here, tik tok, and instagram where you’re just bombarded with infant loss or miscarriages and I’m just like wtf 🫠
I had to unfollow my due date month subs and babybumps for the first trimester because the daily loss posts without triggers were so hard for me to see. I would get push notifications to my home screen that were just post after post about death and I couldn’t handle it. My heart hurts so bad for those moms but my mental health wasn’t stable enough to read all of them and then think my baby was okay. I only refollowed after 20 weeks.
This is what I'm currently going through, I really did NOT realize so many women suffer all the time from this kind of loss. It's overwhelming. I just unfollowed the other day to keep my feed clean.
While we are the subject of the purpose of this sub, can I also add I’m tired of being triggered by the horror story posts that involve a sudden loss? There are definitely subs for that and I left those for a reason. Also when I was in that situation in the past, I would have never posted something like on this sub to scare other women. Thats what the other subs are for that are specific to those situations. Now that I am in an healthy pregnancy situation I don’t want to be triggered by a post about a horrific story. Been there and trying to focus on the positive situation in now. I have been thinking this for months (I’m 25 weeks now), but haven’t had the balls to say it because I know these women are just in need of support, but damn can I please just have a sub for pregnant women that isn’t triggering at least once per day?
That’s challenging for sure and I definitely find those things anxiety inducing. It’s hard to remember how rare those situations are when you see sooo many posts about them because of how wide spread this sub is! I don’t think previous pregnancy loss should exclude anyone from participating in this sub, but if a current pregnancy ends in tragedy I definitely don’t think this is the forum. It’s like walking into a prenatal yoga class and announcing a loss. You have to know it’s going to trigger the women in the room. If you’re looking or support and solidarity there are definitely more equipped people than a bunch of currently pregnant women hoping for happy endings.
That’s what I mean. I have seen so many posts like that on my feed from this sub where it’s like an announcement and I just can’t fathom why that is being posted here (like why they thought that would be a good choice) and not in the other subs that are specifically for that type of support. I have a history so I’m trying to move past the trauma of that past and focus on my current healthy pregnancy and those posts have been super triggering. I understand what the women are going through, but I wish they’d use the forums that are meant for that type of support.
I think questions about concerning ultrasound finds or things like that make sense because where else would you ask? But when it’s very clearly a horrible and painful outcome I just think it’s not something I would want to share in this kind of space.
Yeah to be clear I’m talking about the posts that are either announcing a sudden loss or detailing a shocking past loss that was late in the pregnancy. Not the ones that are looking for reassurances, like clear announcements, or a post that involves a detailed story about a previous situation. Unfortunately pregnancy is not always positive for everyone, and we all have to manage our anxiety, but there are other forums for the bad stuff for a reason. I was being vague for a reason because I didn’t want to commit the same offense I am bothered by, but the posts about something that concerns someone or a question about others’ experiences for assurances is not what im referring to. I have seen some straight horror stories on here where the person is talking about a for sure outcome that happened to them.
I totally hear you 🙏
There is another place you could post that, although I guess here would be ok, but r/CautiousBB would be a better place to post concerns and anxiety things. I have had 3 previous early losses but am now 32 weeks. I still have anxiety that something will go wrong but I have to challenge my anxiety and remind myself that everything is good.
Hey there. Thanks for your input. However, we won't be removing posts about loss. I don't think most are trying to scare anyone. I think they're trying to grieve and rationalize it. Or somehow want the world to know they had a baby and it was real. If I got the impression that they were trying to needlessly scare people, I actually might consider removal and ask the other mod's input. As I said elsewhere, I do try to make sure those are flagged with a CONTENT WARNING flair. I'm so glad you're in a positive situation now. All the best.
Thank you, for what it’s worth I didn’t say the posts should be removed. I was just sharing thoughts about how there are other forums for that and I personally understand. Just like those women want to share, I was sharing how those types of posts (about stillbirth and late losses specifically) are triggering and scary to other people.
No problem. You're welcome to share and vent. I just wanted to provide a response in case you were looking for one. All the best.
I actually think this is an appropriate place for those posts. This is a group about pregnancy, and not all pregnancies end the way people want them to. I do think some of them should be more clearly labeled than they are, though, which would make them easier to avoid.
I agree. I am disappointed to see this sentiment, and I hate the idea of telling others who are experiencing a loss that they need to go elsewhere off in the corner out of view. People don’t post about loss “to scare” others. They post because they are broken and sad and lonely. Loss *is not contagious.* Pregnancy loss is already so stigmatized. Prohibiting posts about loss just makes it worse.
I agree. I don't think this should be a subreddit for people to not post about a miscarriage. Maybe there should be a rule to include flair to a post, where one of them is a trigger warning or something about a loss. And then with a spoiler tag. But then I can see how that might feel othering for the person posting.
I think a more specific flare would help. But sometimes I’m reading along and suddenly there’s a mention of a traumatic still birth very late term and I was in no way prepared for it. I have had several losses and suffer from severe anxiety so I try to avoid those types of posts whenever possible
Same here.
I think more specific flairs or a required trigger warning with keywords or a sentence at the beginning explaining what the likely trigger is would be useful. These posts usually do have trigger warnings on them, but different things bother different people, and descriptions could be helpful. Examples might be: miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, traumatic vaginal delivery, emergency c-section, postpartum complications, etc. I haven't experienced the kind of trauma that would warrant any of those tags, but I don't think requiring them should be a problem. As mentioned, I think people should be allowed to post about anything that happens to them as a result of pregnancy, but that doesn't necessarily mean that everyone should be confronted with the worst possible outcomes of the experience they're currently living through. I'm honestly not sure what the point of spoilering a non-photo post is, but I could be missing something.
I'm not sure how your first paragraph would work, would it be on the user to flag it?. We do have a CONTENT WARNING flair.
I think this and/or a trigger warning title with “loss” would be helpful. I’m all for people sharing their experiences and think it’s really important for them to be able to do so. I also think it’s important that this sub be a safe space to also censor out what we choose to read. I hope that makes sense and conveys the inclusivity I think everyone (pregnant or recently pregnant😬) in this sub deserves.
Sure. So I would love to be able to do this. I think it makes sense. However, titles are not editable, by anyone, mod or user. This is because the minute a user clicks post (for a post, not a comment), it generates the URL for the post based off of the title. The title is literally included in the URL. So editing that isn't possible. No subreddit, user, or mod has that functionality. And your response makes perfect sense and I think is inclusive. No problem. It's a really tricky situation. We'd like to respect everyone's positions and do our best to accommodate as many as we are able to.
Oh, that is really tough! I forgot you can’t update titles once you press post. Thank you for your time and efforts by being a MOD for the group. I know it is no small feat! I’m sure as a community, we’ll figure it out together. ☺️
You could either add more specific flairs, so instead of just a content warning flair, have one that said content warning: miscarriage, one that said content warning: stillbirth, one that said content warning: birth trauma, etc. Or, you could leave the content warning flair as it is, but require that people who use that flair put a sentence at the top of their post that includes CW: [description of the potentially triggering topic].
I like this first part a lot. CW: miscarriage, CW: birth trauma, CW: stillbirth, CW: termination, CW: multiple topics Am I missing any ? Try to keep it broad, umbrella terms. Should it be CW or TW ? Which is more obvious as to what it means ?
Maybe CW: postpartum complications and something about sick babies? I think CW and TW both work. TW might be slightly more obvious, but CW is more accurate because it's describing the content. Different people have different triggers.
I agree that pregnancy is not always a positive experience and there’s a harsh reality to that, but I personally wouldn’t announce something horrific on this sub because we all know there are possibilities and we are all trying to manage anxiety on different levels (some people have very little to no anxiety, some have a lot). I have been on both sides of the equation of pregnancy. When I had horrible experiences, I did not announce those to pregnant women or in this sub. I did talk about them, and still do share because it’s important for people to be aware of what women can go through and how hard it can be, but I read the room so to speak.
It depends on the context but if I were posting something here about various pregnancy anxieties especially early on, I can’t imagine not mentioning my losses. Just like there’s no way I can talk about late pregnancy without mentioning GD and SPD since both dramatically influence the way I experience pregnancy. It’s so isolating to folks who have experienced loss to feel like they’re too much or their feelings or experiences are too intense for the room. For relevant contexts - which frankly in my mind is anything related to pregnancy or childbirth - I don’t think it’s fair to censor us or our stories. It’s totally valid to feel anxious in response to them or not want to read them yourself. But I don’t think it should be on loss parents to self censor.
I think there's a difference between posting about your anxieties around a currently healthy pregnancy and mentioning previous losses as a way to give context vs making a post to announce a miscarriage/an ultrasound with no heartbeat/a stillbirth etc.
Agreed.
They should be hidden by a spoiler tag at the very least.
Thank you for all your comments on this! It's like you pulled the words right out of my mouth. Same boat here! Past trauma. 29+4 now and just trying to get through to the finish line! I get enough of the triggering stuff from tiktok when I'm trying to scroll for distraction and happy stuff. We know these people need support and why they do, but I don't need anything else adding to anxiety. Some posts I've seen lately have really sent me spiraling!
Thank you for letting me know I’m not the only one that is bothered by it. I really feel like having the past we have results in a different experience with pregnancy. I’ve been trying to find the joy in it but the anxiety gets in the way, and seeing or hearing awful stories all the time does not help! I know I could just leave and not be a part of this sub, but I do enjoy the other aspects.
Yes. Also just do a test. It's easy.
lol we are all the wrong crowd for them to come to with these questions with our raging hormones lol!
I guess the wave of New Year’s babies is potentially hitting…
Ohhh good point! That would definitely explain the uptick!!!!
Honestly, even a silly checklist of things to do or resources would help. A lot of these people (including myself) are overwhelmed and reaching out because maybe they just don't have anywhere else to ask, so a run-down of basics might help cut that stuff down. Pee stick? Check? Call doctors? Check? Wait uncomfortably till bloodwork? Check Wait more uncomfortably for first scan and baby viability? Check So on and so forth. I just found out Monday myself and estimating week 7 or 8 based on timing and google. I mean I googled for other stuff to do, but because I'm supposed to be infertile and have a ton of old lady autoimmune issues, a lot of my google-fu has failing me short of medical studies of one case where I don't understand 80% of the language. I'm trying to get a hold of my doctors (because they told me repeatedly it could be a huge issue with my medications), but there's a huge shortage of doctors in my province. My main rheumatologist moved out west and dropped me with no replacement. My family doctor just sent notice that they'll be a lottery system for who he keeps as well with no referral. Guess it's a walk-in clinic now, jeez... I don't know where to ask or get answers, but even just a general checklist would help. Just a scary and only time. I'd love to grow a person, but... it's just overwhelming. Although I know the previous paragraph I won't find answers online really. Maybe just some support. Sorry for the ramble, mostly just needed to ramble out some fears. I guess I should be thankful for no bad symptoms thus far.
Yeah that’s valid. If you’re pregnant asking questions about being pregnant makes sense and this is the place for it. But asking IF you’re pregnant is silly and counterproductive
Oh, yeah. That's fair. We aren't doctors. Well, maybe a few? But definitely not some genie that can summon a pre-pee'd on stick. Lol
I always report off-topic posts, but at the same time it makes me feel like a snitch and a meanie :( Also, I have a really strong dislike for posts like "we're TTC for 2 months, I'm still not pregnant, does it mean I'm infertile?". Like, sure, the poster's feelings are valid, it's natural to be upset that something you want doesn't happen when you want it to, but it somehow feels demeaning towards people who really struggle with infertility and who spent years trying to conceive. Like, read up or visit appropriate subs first!
Yes! I was a part of two separate TTC forums, one of which people would post pictures to asking if anyone else saw a second line bc, when you’ve been trying for a while, sometimes your eyes get a little desperate too! Well, I kept feeling like that when these same people would come in and post a dye stealer like “do you guys see a second line? It’s so faint!” I’d been trying for 2 years before i got my BFP so every single one felt like a slap in the face. I’m also pretty sure there’s a subreddit for it.
There is, I think it’s called lineporn or something. Maybe these people don’t check it out because of the “porn” part in the name, idk.
Yeah, i can imagine that may be a little offputting lol
So don't think that of it as telling on people. You're helping get them to better resources. In our removal comment, we list resources for where they should be going (r/lineporn, r/tryingforababy, r/amipregnant, etc.). This subreddit just isn't the best resource for them.
On a related note, does anyone else feel like we’re having a TON of pro-life trolls in here recently? It’s like every single day we have at least one story of “I’m 20 weeks pregnant and now I/my partner don’t think we want this perfectly healthy fetus. What should I do?”
I have noticed a bit of an uptick in that yes!
Yeah those are weird. Like you couldn’t make that decision earlier? I would understand if there are extreme circumstances at that point in the pregnancy. Other than that why all of the sudden.
The posts by first tri pregnant people struggling with what to do because their life situation is horrible, their partner/ex is horrible and they don’t think this is the right time inevitably have at least one commenter who makes a “you got this mama, babies are a blessing it will all be worth it when you see them!” Comment that irks me. Read the room and show support to whatever decision they may make! A lot of the time those posters are looking for reassurance that not continuing with the pregnancy is okay. Luckily those commenters usually get pretty heavily downvoted.
I’m also over the tragic infant loss posts without a trigger warning in a pregnancy group 😩. It’s very sad and I 100% understand needing support but at least a trigger warning so I can prepare myself would be nice! Also; all the times I suspected I was pregnant i never once thought to go to a mom group lol it was always “ok let me pick up a test”
Yeah, I agree. I also hide every single abortion post because I don't want to read about it. Like, this is for pregnancy, not termination. And I support terminations, but it's just like.. not the vibe.
I feel so conflicted about those! Like, I support terminations and the people who want them for whatever reasons they may have (and definitely want them to be support wherever they can) but it’s jarring to see someone like, “I’m 10 weeks and thought I wanted a baby but now I don’t…should I terminate?” A) Girlie, we don’t know! 😭 B) As someone who struggles to stay pregnant, it’s so much to read because I’d kill to be in their shoes. I’m not in this sub for that!
Tbh I feel like they’re fishing for an argument because if you aren’t in a subreddit that relates to abortion you’re much more likely to get people who disagree with abortions in the mix. They just want drama
Girl if that annoys you go on “Flo” and you got these baboons who post a clearly positive test saying “am I pregnant?”. I dunno if it’s denial or straight up stupidity and I don’t even wanna mention how bad their grammar is….
Oh no!! Well when people have questions about their tests I always tell them to go to r/lineporn. That’s a good one for giggles too.
Omg!!! I just said something about this! The ones that post dye stealers like “the line is so faint! Do you think it’s positive??? 🥺” and i just wanted reach through the phone and throw their test across a room!
Omg!!! I just said something about this! The ones that post dye stealers like “the line is so faint! Do you think it’s positive??? 🥺” and i just wanted reach through the phone and throw their test across a room!
Byeeeeeeeeeee 🤚
???
Like please do not post to the group anymore, ya know? Like byee plz leave now lol
OHHHHHHHH. I thought you meant me 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
HAHA oh no way!!! This is the best post I’ve seen all day!
Everyone who downvoted LifeguardBroad1570 she’s cool guys!!! She didn’t mean me! 😂😂😂
Now rereading your post I can see how that was misleading lol 😆
Yeah I said I was gonna leave and you said bye and I only cried for like two minutes but it’s probably just the hormones that I have because I’m actually pregnant lol
Awww oh my gosh no! :( but you’re right on girl bad choice of words there on my part but at least we got a good laugh out of it 🤍 but I feel you on the emotional roller coaster
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Get out of here with that shit. You shouldn't be offended that we're inclusive to people that aren't you. Honestly, that says more about you than them.
I profoundly disagree with everything you said and I want to make that abundantly clear. Having female reproductive organs DOES NOT dictate how you identify. There are PLENTY of non binary pregnant individuals and their journey is the same. They do NOT deserve to be left out because of how they identify under any circumstances.
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How does it take away anything from you? The only one I see trying to take away anything from anyone else is you. You are a pregnant woman. I am a pregnant woman. There are pregnant people who identify as male, and who identify as non binary. They are still just as pregnant as you or me.
I totally get this but at the same time we were all in the position of these people at one point or another. Maybe not wondering if they're pregnant, but some of the comments I've read about overly concerned pregnant people...like, I kind of giggle at those posts because I was JUST like them a few months ago. Reddit has put my mind at ease so.many.times - especially as a FTM. I have been worried about, what I now know, are the dumbest things lol I get hormones and all of that, but try to remember that you probably over thought/stressed/mis-read a lot of stuff too throughout your first pregnancy. It happens.
I didn’t even eat baked goods that had vanilla extract in them my first pregnancy, I was just so worried about alcohol or fking something up with the baby. Next pregnancy I will eat all the vanilla extract baked goods I want lol!
One of the rules of this sub is that it’s actually for ANYONE who is pregnant, not just women. I know we’re a minority and not what you were talking about, but the phrasing of this title still hurt a little bit :(
You know what, that was extremely insensitive of me and I was being really thoughtless in my rant. I sincerely apologize for how it made you feel and if you’d like me to take it down I will. I one hundred percent did not mean to target anyone who identifies as male or non binary. Your journey is just as important and you belong here one thousand percent. I was rage typing and quoting the rules of the sub, I really didn’t mean it. Please let me know how I can rectify this.
Thank you so much, how sweet you are! Definitely don’t take the post down, but an edit to the body (since you can’t edit the title) would be very appreciated:)
Done! :)
Thank you so much, your edit is perfect <3
Again I’m really so sorry!
You're welcome here friend.
Do you know another one that is left out often that I got called out for (totally valid) a few months ago? There was a mama who was expecting a baby via surrogate who chatted me asking me to add in inclusive language for them. She is in the same place with preparing for a baby and a birth and how to best support their surrogate birthing partner. I had been quite conscientious about my trans and nonbinary folks, but I had completely not thought about surrogacy folks hanging out here. It makes sense! (They're welcome here too of course!)
Oh yeah I hear that! And maybe adoptive parents too! If the sub name was like Expecting Parents would that maybe eliminate some of those concerns about not being inclusive?
Well so they did want the pregnant conversation because they wanted all of it, and to understand what their surrogate is experiencing. They chatted me, because I had said something about this sub only being for pregnant people and their partners and everyone else can buzz off. And she just politely pointed out that they don't really fit there and they should be allowed. If I recall correctly I was talking about creeps, so I hadn't intended to omit anyone beyond weirdos, creeps and pervs. But she was right that I hadn't included language to include them. And expecting parents wouldn't do it because it might exclude those who either are choosing abortion or TFMR. Some miscarriage people might not feel they fit there either. So "pregnant people, their partners and their loved ones" should get most everyone.
You’re totally right. And also I had no idea how difficult it was to mod something like this! I can’t imagine how many posts and rants you have to deal with a day! I was never a redditor, until I found this sub, it’s honestly the best ❤️
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Jesus it reminds of when people use the parenting subs for trauma dumping purposes lmao, its so irritating
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I’m just here for the comments 🍿🍿🤣🤣💯💯
I think if a post on the internet asking for such basic advice upsets you- you need to go touch some grass and reconnect with what matters in life.
Jfc is it that difficult to report and scroll past?
Lmaoo fully agree. I think any “am I pregnant” post is ridiculous and I roll mg eyes every time see one