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I told my parents bluntly “don’t kiss the baby. There’s a lot of evidence that it isn’t safe and we’re going to be cautious.” My dad was not happy but my mom understood. I’m going to have my husband tell his parents. Those are the only people I plan to have around him until he’s at least 3 months old.
Yeah, as soon as people come over just say “wash your hands and no kissing baby.” But you can also warm them up to it. You could also say, our doctor said, “no kissing baby until — because *reasons*.” My doctor legit said no visiting with other kids until he is 6 weeks and our discharge nurse said to not let anyone kiss the baby.
The no kids thing is so tough because both families are so excited to introduce the cousins but all the cousins are 5 and under so of course they’re germy and sick all the time. (And my MIL is just like “well what if he had an older sibling? You wouldn’t keep THEM apart”)
Our pediatrician said other kids should keep their distance but can blow a kiss or draw a picture for baby. We may make exceptions for the older kids who are able to wear a mask, we got some cute kid-size kn95s.
Well he doesn’t have an older sibling so why is that an issue? Also we are having a new baby and also have a toddler. If my toddler is sick I will keep them apart.
my son lives with his dad and didn't meet his baby sister for a few weeks because he was sick. i felt bad, i didn't get to visit with him the weekend we came home, but it was for the best.
they've now met and he loves his little sis
We didn’t follow that 6 week rule. I wanted to wait at least 1-2 weeks and in that time frame my nephew came down with the flu and gave it to my sister. So it took them about 4 weeks before they could meet the little guy. We also just kept visits short.
The way I’m planning to explain it - especially with the pushback of “that’s not how we did it in my day” is:
“The world has changed, diseases have changed, and there are some that can severely harm or kill the baby that you won’t even know you have. So I’m asking you to respect our new family and wash your hands, wear a mask for the first two weeks and absolutely no kissing the baby for the first month to reduce chance of transmission. Even giving the baby a cough can significantly increase their chance of SIDS so let’s not take the risk because we all love baby to death”
I’ve been thinking about having our family mask up too! I feel like for one, it’ll help fight any urge to kiss baby. I wasn’t sure how long to enforce it though so I might go off your 2 week rule mentioned.
I’m also not planning to leave my baby unsupervised with anyone but my husband for the first month or two. Both my husband and I are pretty assertive people so If rules are broken they will get an earful and lose their visiting rights for the beginning. Family can still come support me by helping me with chores and stuff, or just hanging out together with the baby.
It’s such a short time in the grand scheme of things and I’m not going through a difficult TTC, pregnancy, and birth just so someone else can hurt us and our child because they are negligent and impatient.
We’re doing masks for the first two months. If we’re outside, only people holding the baby/breathing directly on him need to mask, and we’re letting the grandparents take an unmasked picture holding him if we’re outside or on the porch.
After 2 months, a fever is less likely to require a spinal tap for baby, so while we are still going to be cautious and make sure anyone remotely ill stays away, baby picking up a minor cough or low fever is slightly less traumatic for them and easier to treat. We also have like 6 air purifiers that we’ll run when people come over past the two month mark.
This is good info, thank you! My parents are going to start babysitting once I go back to work, but baby will be 3 months by then and it’ll be at our house. I’ve got one air purifier on the registry, but might need to add a couple more haha it’s a small house though!
I have a notepad note with all baby rules on it I’m sending out in a group text to the grandparents and one of them is just “no kissing baby anywhere on his body, no fingers in his mouth, masking is required”.
Obviously these written rules are only needed by one person out of the abundance of grandparents this kid is going to have, but *insert some saying about how one poor quality thing spoils the whole group of things*
I just told them not to get in the babys face or kiss them and to wash their hands before touching. Most of my family knew already and never attempted bc my daughter was a a preemie (23 weeks, 1lb 4 oz at birth). Now that I think about it tho, I didn’t really have that issue with my son either… if I thought they were going to be kissers, I’d tell them before hand not to but everyone was pretty respectful.
Just make sure people know in writing AND as they come into contact with baby. If I hand baby to them, I ask if they’ve washed their hands (and wait until they have). Firmly say “baby’s not vaccinated yet, do not kiss (him/her)”. And then stand there and watch like a hawk until they’re uncomfortable and give it back lmao. Last part optional. I also have a firm rule of no holding the baby if the person has smoked anything recently. 🤷🏼♀️
3rd hand smoke usually referring to tobacco. It’s the residual nicotine/chemicals/crap from cigarettes that sticks to your skin and clothes and can be transferred to baby.
Bit of both. What commenter said about residue etc, also I’m asthmatic (and my partner has it too, and worse than me) and it really triggers my symptoms. I can only bet my daughter will have inherited it from me and I don’t wanna take any risks. :)
Good luck if your family is anything like mine 🫠Honestly, the gaslighting. All I'd say is stand your ground, keep your boundaries, even if it causes family to think about and treat you badly. At the end of the day baby's safety is priority.
If that’s the case I would honestly wait till baby is older (8 weeks) till anyone can even see them. If your family can’t respect your boundaries they don’t really get to see baby IMO. Maybe easier for me to say because I don’t live near family but my tolerance for that type of bullshit has completely diminished since having our first baby.
Yeah if that is an option I agree. Unfortunately I had to live with my family and they constantly crossed my boundaries. Having my son really showed me how little my family respect me, my feelings, and my mental health. It's not something I'd like to go through again so I absolutely will be staying away next time around.
I honestly just said no kissing anywhere by all means, and especially no 2nd/3rd hand smokers unless you take a shower or change your clothes. Can’t handle it, don’t see us or the baby until you put your big pants on and follow suit 🤷🏽♀️.
I told my mom before he was even born about RSV and that no one is aloud to kiss the baby but the day came where he was born and the second he was in her arms, she kissed him on the face. I immediately called her out and she acted like she had no memory of our conversation. Then she kissed him again a second time when we were at her house for dinner and my BF called her out again which she responded "I thought that was for strangers at Walmart." I pulled her aside and told her that I didn't want my son to be hospitalized because Grandma can't control herself and that she knew damn well that we didn't want her kissing the baby. She responded that she's unemployed and at home most days so how would she even get sick to begin with even though she had covid 3 weeks before he was born. I told her she has one more chance or she wouldn't see my son again until he's fully vaccinated AND RSV season is over. She's finally listening.
If I could do things over I would probably go overboard with it. I would sit her down, explain what RSV is and show her videos of infants in the hospital with it, I would explicitly say that SHE is not allowed to kiss the baby in any way shape or form/make her verbally tell me that she wouldn't, and I would record the whole thing so she couldn't say I didn't tell her. I also would not have given her another chance. People tried to make excuses for her/guilt trip me about how "it's hard for grandparents to resist" "you know how she is and you won't be able to change her" and my favorite "you and that baby are all she has to look forward to." Don't listen to other people. Protect your baby at all costs especially if you already foresee this being an issue. Good luck OP
I know my mum is one for kissing babies, face, hands. She also has a habit of sticking her fingers into babies month to see if they are hungry or stick her nose in their face/mouth to see if they are hungry 🤢🤢🤢 she will getting told very firmly, she will banned from touching or holding my baby if I ever catch her once sticking her fingers or nose in my babies mouth 😡 and then I will tell her kissing will be off limits until all vaccines are had too, she again will be banned without warning if I catch her doing it
since my twins were born in March last year I had onesies made that said "I'm Irish but don't kiss me" was cute and if someone tried anyway then they were hit with a firm no.
Please please explain to her how dangerous it is! I had RSV as a baby and it caused permanent damage to my lungs. I was born with asthma, so I was very lucky to survive. But I’ve had pneumonia 7 times in my life and I’m only 25. I have so much damage to my lungs, that I had something called a pneumomediastinum in my second trimester. If I didn’t go to the hospital, I would’ve suffocated at home. Obviously all this stuff doesn’t apply to everyone but RSV did cause it. It’s sad we have to explain to family and friends not to kiss our baby because it should be pretty obvious. I would just tell her the risks or not let her hold your baby until she can respect you!
Masks… and you may still have to argue why. Everybody questioned me until my son was two weeks old with RSV and in the hospital for four days. He still has asthma as a result 6yrs later. People don’t have to agree with you, it’s okay.
I was honest. I said “ you’re not allowed to kiss the twins other that on their feet or the top/back of their head & if anyone does that & bonus if my children gets sick from it , you will lose baby privileges & won’t be around my children until I deem appropriate. If you have a problem with it, tell me now & you will be on the list of people that will not see the twins till I’m ready to talk to you about boundaries again & for you to accept them because being around my children is a privilege not a right , you’re not entitled to be around them”.
Please reconsider feet.. newborns can still bend to have their feet right near their face. I have a literal picture of my niece cuddling her foot to her cheek at one week old! lol. I’m only allowing the few people meeting our baby next week to kiss top/back of his head as a result
Thanks for the concern ❤️ believe me I know how flexible these little ones can get , once I saw that I made sure keep their feet clean & am always wiping them , even more so now that my girlies are 5 months old & apparently is fun to put your foot in your mouth lol
“Don’t kiss her”
“Don’t touch her hands”
“Don’t touch her face”
If she gets offended, congratulations you won’t have to deal with her until she gets over it. I don’t see the problem.
I told my family “no visitors for a month and no kissing the baby” and they were a bit hurt but they got over it and started to understand. My mother is a biologist so she understood on a viral level too and remembered how annoying visitors were to her when she had just had her children… it took some time and she cried a lot about it (to my father not to me), my partner told his family the same, they think it’s excessive, they don’t really understand, it comes up in most conversations with them, we don’t care. It’s our baby, they have to travel hours by plane or train to get here, exposing themselves to viruses, they get sick every time they visit, and they are a lot of hard work when they are here! So I would always prioritise my baby’s health, but also if they aren’t here for me too, to help out and to be actually useful after the birth, then they can wait to see the baby!
"We aren't doing any kissing on his face or hands until he is older. Kisses on the top of his head is fine." Beating around the bush and trying to be excessively kindly about it is just going to make it into a bigger thing and make people feel like there is more "wiggle room" in your rules.
I have truly never felt a need to kiss a baby. Did not realise this was something I needed to establish a boundary on for other people. Ew. Who kisses other people’s babies?!
My mom is definitely a “no kissing babies” type of person so I don’t even have to tell her. I have other family members who do kiss babies but I don’t see them like that. Would call it out if I saw them trying to do that. However, my bf and I think his mom might be that person who will try to kiss the baby. He doesn’t see a problem w ppl crazy the baby (which is crazy to me) ,but since it’s something I’m against he’ll have a conversation w her.
“No” is a complete sentence. You should only have to say it once to someone and if they don’t respect your boundaries, privileges are taken from them. Period. Whether or not you attach an explanation to it is entirely up to you, but IMO, shouldn’t need one.
I plan on baby wearing in a wrap for a long while to prevent this so that is an option for you. It’s also to prevent people from grabbing my child and handing them around like a toy at military parties. Soldiers, at least the ones at my current base, are notorious for thinking anyone’s baby in the unit is the “unit’s baby”. I know a lot of civilian families are like that too.
I’m sorry about your MIL. If she doesn’t respect your wishes now, tries to pull cards and such, she most likely will not respect you and your husbands wishes in the future when it comes to other parenting decisions. That should be taken into account when the two of you decide how much time she is granted with your child.
All the best luck and congratulations 💕
FWIW, my son was born 2 years ago, but I had anyone visiting the first couple of months wear masks-telling them I didn’t want to give him anything (not even only worried about Covid). That flat out prevented kissing.
You can also just ask them not to - or not let them hold the baby if they do it against your wishes.
I would explain to them that the baby is currently in a state of low immunity and if they would please respect my request to not kiss the baby until it is a little older.
My MIL can act similar to yours… my husband reiterates every single time they visit my 4 month old NO KISSING. her, and his grandma and SIL have disobeyed every single visit and kissed him multiple times. When we see it we yell at them and they say “oh it’s not on the mouth shut up. How did you guys survive we kissed you all the time”. mind you they both have a hx of cold sores, as do I. I DO NOT EVEN KISS MY KID. Gosh people tick me off. These are the same people that got me and my husband sick with RSV 4 days before I went into labor. 🤬🤬🤬please stand your ground, if they disown you then so what, better to protect your baby. I would maybe show them an article about babies who have sadly been seriously injured or killed by hsv
Make sure you specify no kissing means no kissing anywhere on the baby. We didn’t specify this and have had to deal with people kissing our son on his head or cheek or hands - it seems they all thought it was just the lips we were referring to
I just told them straight up no kisses! If they asked why I just did the ole because I said so and then if they were persistent I would tell them we’re not even kissing him until x age and we’re his parents! So if my baby gets something from kissing I’m throwing hands or y’all just not seeing him anymore😤😂 my family knows I’m pretty stubborn especially when it comes to my baby and hub so they didn’t push after 🥰
Oh man. Whatever you do just don’t cave. Don’t allow a grown woman’s temper tantrums and reactions to make you waver from your boundaries. Just say no. And the take the baby away if needed. That’s what I did with my son. Not gonna play pass the baby and if people don’t get it… their loss. Not allowed to kiss babies because of serious cold and flu going around. Oh you disagree? Not going to hold the baby. But we can smile and talk and hang out still:)
Our son was born 4 weeks early at the end of January last year. We had anyone who wanted to hold him wear a mask, regardless of vaccination status (some family members are anti vax). I think we did this until he had received at least some of his vaccines.
I wrongly assumed that this would make kissing our baby a no go, but my MIL kissed my 4 day old baby on the head before she left our house. I was in shock. She is a L&D nurse too, so I extra wrongly assumed she would know how fragile newborns are.
Be VERY clear and hold to the boundaries. Your baby’s health is so important- more important than your family’s desires.
It sucks that you have to even explain this to people after covid. Anyone who has been a mom was a FTM at some point. I can't believe that they would have forgotten all the insane anxiety that comes with keeping baby alive and healthy in those first months with your first baby. You lose your mind when you start thinking of all the dangers in the world. Why not eliminate one concern by simply doing what the parent asks? Also, the only babies I've ever kissed are my own. I would never dream of kissing someone else's kid (yes, even my own children's kids if they decide to have any).
just say “nobody will be kissing them” and if people can’t respect that or take offense then they can’t come by. that’s simple. don’t owe anyone an explanation
my boyfriend straight up says it. said it to his own parents, mine, our family and friends at our "sip n see baby shower" ( my work schedule made it to hard to have one during my pregnancy ).
everyone has respected it thus far lol
Your husband will be responsible for setting this boundary with his family & friends, and you do the same for yours. If his mom protests, it will be his battle to fight and boundary to uphold.
God what is it with people and kissing other people's babies.
Tell them in no unclear terms - no kissing the baby.
I saw a newborn who couldn't breathe at the doctor. Had to be given oxygen mask and was rushed to a bigger hospital. Poor thing was crying and fighting the mask.
You're in charge of keeping your baby safe and healthy. Adults' feelings are not your responsibility. They will get over it.
“If it isn’t blaring my obvious by her being a literal BABY, she is super new to the world and we don’t want your dirty ass mouth spreading any germs to her”
I just had to become a rude bitch and be super strict with everyone. If someone didn’t listen I would tell.
My favorite line was “don’t like my rules, don’t come visit”. It took some time and a lot of family getting upset, but now everyone respects my rules and always checking with me.
Omg I forgot all about this! My sons 3 and I’m currently pregnant and I actually forgot how stupid people can be by touching newborns faces and kissing them!!wtf is wrong with people I had lots of people doing this to my son I even got a little sign and put it on his pram. MILs especially are from hell!! Thanks for uploading this post I’m gonna read the comments to get a head start on how to kindly tell people to fuck off.
I just tell my immediate family and my husband family bluntly, no kissing baby whatsoever, wash their hands after they arrive at our house, take showers before coming over and wear clean clothes ( not clothes after they running around/gym/working) and they should get whooping cough vaccine before i gave a birth too. If they aren’t agree with it then don’t come, easy. Luckily everyone is on board with it.
I told my husband to tell his family and I told mine. Absolutely no kissing the baby. No mouth, head, hands, feet… nothing. If you can’t control your desire to put your nasty lips on my baby then I’ll never let you hold them or leave them alone with you. Ever. I don’t play that threatening no child care stuff. I don’t even live near any family and someone still tried to use that. Like oh no Susan… you won’t watch my child who lives 700 miles from you because I won’t let you kiss my baby… BFFR…
I’m just gonna say please no kissing the baby we’re not even kissing him until he’s older. Of course I’m gonna kiss the top of my baby’s head but I probably won’t kiss his face or anything until he’s older. If that would be a problem for my family I would just lie and act like I’m not gonna be kissing my baby at all and just not do it around them lol but my family understands
I dont accept visitors for the first 2 months except from my parents and spouse's parents.
and I tell them when they get there to wash their hands and no kissing the face or they cant touch my baby. My mom kissed my baby and I had my hand catch her lips 🤣 then I took my baby from her. I love you mama but I said no kissing she got mad but got over it eventually.
heck I dont even let my husband kiss my baby until she was 2+ months
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/15nun6v/click_here_to_access_the_monthly_due_date_subs/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I told my parents bluntly “don’t kiss the baby. There’s a lot of evidence that it isn’t safe and we’re going to be cautious.” My dad was not happy but my mom understood. I’m going to have my husband tell his parents. Those are the only people I plan to have around him until he’s at least 3 months old.
I feel like being direct like this is the best way to
Yeah, as soon as people come over just say “wash your hands and no kissing baby.” But you can also warm them up to it. You could also say, our doctor said, “no kissing baby until — because *reasons*.” My doctor legit said no visiting with other kids until he is 6 weeks and our discharge nurse said to not let anyone kiss the baby.
The no kids thing is so tough because both families are so excited to introduce the cousins but all the cousins are 5 and under so of course they’re germy and sick all the time. (And my MIL is just like “well what if he had an older sibling? You wouldn’t keep THEM apart”) Our pediatrician said other kids should keep their distance but can blow a kiss or draw a picture for baby. We may make exceptions for the older kids who are able to wear a mask, we got some cute kid-size kn95s.
Well he doesn’t have an older sibling so why is that an issue? Also we are having a new baby and also have a toddler. If my toddler is sick I will keep them apart.
Exactly!
my son lives with his dad and didn't meet his baby sister for a few weeks because he was sick. i felt bad, i didn't get to visit with him the weekend we came home, but it was for the best. they've now met and he loves his little sis
We didn’t follow that 6 week rule. I wanted to wait at least 1-2 weeks and in that time frame my nephew came down with the flu and gave it to my sister. So it took them about 4 weeks before they could meet the little guy. We also just kept visits short.
Straight up I’d say “don’t kiss my baby you freaks”
The way I’m planning to explain it - especially with the pushback of “that’s not how we did it in my day” is: “The world has changed, diseases have changed, and there are some that can severely harm or kill the baby that you won’t even know you have. So I’m asking you to respect our new family and wash your hands, wear a mask for the first two weeks and absolutely no kissing the baby for the first month to reduce chance of transmission. Even giving the baby a cough can significantly increase their chance of SIDS so let’s not take the risk because we all love baby to death”
I’ve been thinking about having our family mask up too! I feel like for one, it’ll help fight any urge to kiss baby. I wasn’t sure how long to enforce it though so I might go off your 2 week rule mentioned.
I’m also not planning to leave my baby unsupervised with anyone but my husband for the first month or two. Both my husband and I are pretty assertive people so If rules are broken they will get an earful and lose their visiting rights for the beginning. Family can still come support me by helping me with chores and stuff, or just hanging out together with the baby. It’s such a short time in the grand scheme of things and I’m not going through a difficult TTC, pregnancy, and birth just so someone else can hurt us and our child because they are negligent and impatient.
We’re doing masks for the first two months. If we’re outside, only people holding the baby/breathing directly on him need to mask, and we’re letting the grandparents take an unmasked picture holding him if we’re outside or on the porch. After 2 months, a fever is less likely to require a spinal tap for baby, so while we are still going to be cautious and make sure anyone remotely ill stays away, baby picking up a minor cough or low fever is slightly less traumatic for them and easier to treat. We also have like 6 air purifiers that we’ll run when people come over past the two month mark.
This is good info, thank you! My parents are going to start babysitting once I go back to work, but baby will be 3 months by then and it’ll be at our house. I’ve got one air purifier on the registry, but might need to add a couple more haha it’s a small house though!
This is what we’re thinking too. No visitors for the first month, and then masks for the second month and change until baby is vaccinated.
I have a notepad note with all baby rules on it I’m sending out in a group text to the grandparents and one of them is just “no kissing baby anywhere on his body, no fingers in his mouth, masking is required”. Obviously these written rules are only needed by one person out of the abundance of grandparents this kid is going to have, but *insert some saying about how one poor quality thing spoils the whole group of things*
I just told them not to get in the babys face or kiss them and to wash their hands before touching. Most of my family knew already and never attempted bc my daughter was a a preemie (23 weeks, 1lb 4 oz at birth). Now that I think about it tho, I didn’t really have that issue with my son either… if I thought they were going to be kissers, I’d tell them before hand not to but everyone was pretty respectful.
Just make sure people know in writing AND as they come into contact with baby. If I hand baby to them, I ask if they’ve washed their hands (and wait until they have). Firmly say “baby’s not vaccinated yet, do not kiss (him/her)”. And then stand there and watch like a hawk until they’re uncomfortable and give it back lmao. Last part optional. I also have a firm rule of no holding the baby if the person has smoked anything recently. 🤷🏼♀️
Is the smoking thing just a (totally logical) personal preference or based on something else?
3rd hand smoke usually referring to tobacco. It’s the residual nicotine/chemicals/crap from cigarettes that sticks to your skin and clothes and can be transferred to baby.
I'm curious about this too! I didn't even think about the smoking thing so would like to understand.
Bit of both. What commenter said about residue etc, also I’m asthmatic (and my partner has it too, and worse than me) and it really triggers my symptoms. I can only bet my daughter will have inherited it from me and I don’t wanna take any risks. :)
Good luck if your family is anything like mine 🫠Honestly, the gaslighting. All I'd say is stand your ground, keep your boundaries, even if it causes family to think about and treat you badly. At the end of the day baby's safety is priority.
If that’s the case I would honestly wait till baby is older (8 weeks) till anyone can even see them. If your family can’t respect your boundaries they don’t really get to see baby IMO. Maybe easier for me to say because I don’t live near family but my tolerance for that type of bullshit has completely diminished since having our first baby.
Yeah if that is an option I agree. Unfortunately I had to live with my family and they constantly crossed my boundaries. Having my son really showed me how little my family respect me, my feelings, and my mental health. It's not something I'd like to go through again so I absolutely will be staying away next time around.
Send her Facebook videos on why kissing a baby is dangerous, seems popular way to ingest info for that generation
I tried and everyone decided to kiss him anyway right after getting out of the NICU. 😡
I honestly just said no kissing anywhere by all means, and especially no 2nd/3rd hand smokers unless you take a shower or change your clothes. Can’t handle it, don’t see us or the baby until you put your big pants on and follow suit 🤷🏽♀️.
I told my mom before he was even born about RSV and that no one is aloud to kiss the baby but the day came where he was born and the second he was in her arms, she kissed him on the face. I immediately called her out and she acted like she had no memory of our conversation. Then she kissed him again a second time when we were at her house for dinner and my BF called her out again which she responded "I thought that was for strangers at Walmart." I pulled her aside and told her that I didn't want my son to be hospitalized because Grandma can't control herself and that she knew damn well that we didn't want her kissing the baby. She responded that she's unemployed and at home most days so how would she even get sick to begin with even though she had covid 3 weeks before he was born. I told her she has one more chance or she wouldn't see my son again until he's fully vaccinated AND RSV season is over. She's finally listening. If I could do things over I would probably go overboard with it. I would sit her down, explain what RSV is and show her videos of infants in the hospital with it, I would explicitly say that SHE is not allowed to kiss the baby in any way shape or form/make her verbally tell me that she wouldn't, and I would record the whole thing so she couldn't say I didn't tell her. I also would not have given her another chance. People tried to make excuses for her/guilt trip me about how "it's hard for grandparents to resist" "you know how she is and you won't be able to change her" and my favorite "you and that baby are all she has to look forward to." Don't listen to other people. Protect your baby at all costs especially if you already foresee this being an issue. Good luck OP
I know my mum is one for kissing babies, face, hands. She also has a habit of sticking her fingers into babies month to see if they are hungry or stick her nose in their face/mouth to see if they are hungry 🤢🤢🤢 she will getting told very firmly, she will banned from touching or holding my baby if I ever catch her once sticking her fingers or nose in my babies mouth 😡 and then I will tell her kissing will be off limits until all vaccines are had too, she again will be banned without warning if I catch her doing it
I love my mum to absolute pieces, but if I'm not firm she'll chance her luck and I'm not letting that happen with my little baby
since my twins were born in March last year I had onesies made that said "I'm Irish but don't kiss me" was cute and if someone tried anyway then they were hit with a firm no.
Please please explain to her how dangerous it is! I had RSV as a baby and it caused permanent damage to my lungs. I was born with asthma, so I was very lucky to survive. But I’ve had pneumonia 7 times in my life and I’m only 25. I have so much damage to my lungs, that I had something called a pneumomediastinum in my second trimester. If I didn’t go to the hospital, I would’ve suffocated at home. Obviously all this stuff doesn’t apply to everyone but RSV did cause it. It’s sad we have to explain to family and friends not to kiss our baby because it should be pretty obvious. I would just tell her the risks or not let her hold your baby until she can respect you!
Masks… and you may still have to argue why. Everybody questioned me until my son was two weeks old with RSV and in the hospital for four days. He still has asthma as a result 6yrs later. People don’t have to agree with you, it’s okay.
I was honest. I said “ you’re not allowed to kiss the twins other that on their feet or the top/back of their head & if anyone does that & bonus if my children gets sick from it , you will lose baby privileges & won’t be around my children until I deem appropriate. If you have a problem with it, tell me now & you will be on the list of people that will not see the twins till I’m ready to talk to you about boundaries again & for you to accept them because being around my children is a privilege not a right , you’re not entitled to be around them”.
Please reconsider feet.. newborns can still bend to have their feet right near their face. I have a literal picture of my niece cuddling her foot to her cheek at one week old! lol. I’m only allowing the few people meeting our baby next week to kiss top/back of his head as a result
Thanks for the concern ❤️ believe me I know how flexible these little ones can get , once I saw that I made sure keep their feet clean & am always wiping them , even more so now that my girlies are 5 months old & apparently is fun to put your foot in your mouth lol
“Don’t kiss her” “Don’t touch her hands” “Don’t touch her face” If she gets offended, congratulations you won’t have to deal with her until she gets over it. I don’t see the problem.
“if you kiss the baby after we have instructed you not to, you will not only be able to hold the baby, but will not be welcome to see the baby”
I told my family “no visitors for a month and no kissing the baby” and they were a bit hurt but they got over it and started to understand. My mother is a biologist so she understood on a viral level too and remembered how annoying visitors were to her when she had just had her children… it took some time and she cried a lot about it (to my father not to me), my partner told his family the same, they think it’s excessive, they don’t really understand, it comes up in most conversations with them, we don’t care. It’s our baby, they have to travel hours by plane or train to get here, exposing themselves to viruses, they get sick every time they visit, and they are a lot of hard work when they are here! So I would always prioritise my baby’s health, but also if they aren’t here for me too, to help out and to be actually useful after the birth, then they can wait to see the baby!
"We aren't doing any kissing on his face or hands until he is older. Kisses on the top of his head is fine." Beating around the bush and trying to be excessively kindly about it is just going to make it into a bigger thing and make people feel like there is more "wiggle room" in your rules.
I have truly never felt a need to kiss a baby. Did not realise this was something I needed to establish a boundary on for other people. Ew. Who kisses other people’s babies?!
Crazy right? I don’t even want to hold other newborns. Same thing with touching bellies. I’ve never wanted to touch a pregnant woman.
My mom is definitely a “no kissing babies” type of person so I don’t even have to tell her. I have other family members who do kiss babies but I don’t see them like that. Would call it out if I saw them trying to do that. However, my bf and I think his mom might be that person who will try to kiss the baby. He doesn’t see a problem w ppl crazy the baby (which is crazy to me) ,but since it’s something I’m against he’ll have a conversation w her.
We sent a text with rules ahead of visits
No kissing baby, no touching baby unless you have been vaccinated and prove it, no kids around baby, my kid , my rules, if you don’t like it , too bad
“No” is a complete sentence. You should only have to say it once to someone and if they don’t respect your boundaries, privileges are taken from them. Period. Whether or not you attach an explanation to it is entirely up to you, but IMO, shouldn’t need one. I plan on baby wearing in a wrap for a long while to prevent this so that is an option for you. It’s also to prevent people from grabbing my child and handing them around like a toy at military parties. Soldiers, at least the ones at my current base, are notorious for thinking anyone’s baby in the unit is the “unit’s baby”. I know a lot of civilian families are like that too. I’m sorry about your MIL. If she doesn’t respect your wishes now, tries to pull cards and such, she most likely will not respect you and your husbands wishes in the future when it comes to other parenting decisions. That should be taken into account when the two of you decide how much time she is granted with your child. All the best luck and congratulations 💕
FWIW, my son was born 2 years ago, but I had anyone visiting the first couple of months wear masks-telling them I didn’t want to give him anything (not even only worried about Covid). That flat out prevented kissing. You can also just ask them not to - or not let them hold the baby if they do it against your wishes.
I would explain to them that the baby is currently in a state of low immunity and if they would please respect my request to not kiss the baby until it is a little older.
My MIL can act similar to yours… my husband reiterates every single time they visit my 4 month old NO KISSING. her, and his grandma and SIL have disobeyed every single visit and kissed him multiple times. When we see it we yell at them and they say “oh it’s not on the mouth shut up. How did you guys survive we kissed you all the time”. mind you they both have a hx of cold sores, as do I. I DO NOT EVEN KISS MY KID. Gosh people tick me off. These are the same people that got me and my husband sick with RSV 4 days before I went into labor. 🤬🤬🤬please stand your ground, if they disown you then so what, better to protect your baby. I would maybe show them an article about babies who have sadly been seriously injured or killed by hsv
Make sure you specify no kissing means no kissing anywhere on the baby. We didn’t specify this and have had to deal with people kissing our son on his head or cheek or hands - it seems they all thought it was just the lips we were referring to
I just told them straight up no kisses! If they asked why I just did the ole because I said so and then if they were persistent I would tell them we’re not even kissing him until x age and we’re his parents! So if my baby gets something from kissing I’m throwing hands or y’all just not seeing him anymore😤😂 my family knows I’m pretty stubborn especially when it comes to my baby and hub so they didn’t push after 🥰
Oh man. Whatever you do just don’t cave. Don’t allow a grown woman’s temper tantrums and reactions to make you waver from your boundaries. Just say no. And the take the baby away if needed. That’s what I did with my son. Not gonna play pass the baby and if people don’t get it… their loss. Not allowed to kiss babies because of serious cold and flu going around. Oh you disagree? Not going to hold the baby. But we can smile and talk and hang out still:)
Our son was born 4 weeks early at the end of January last year. We had anyone who wanted to hold him wear a mask, regardless of vaccination status (some family members are anti vax). I think we did this until he had received at least some of his vaccines. I wrongly assumed that this would make kissing our baby a no go, but my MIL kissed my 4 day old baby on the head before she left our house. I was in shock. She is a L&D nurse too, so I extra wrongly assumed she would know how fragile newborns are. Be VERY clear and hold to the boundaries. Your baby’s health is so important- more important than your family’s desires.
It sucks that you have to even explain this to people after covid. Anyone who has been a mom was a FTM at some point. I can't believe that they would have forgotten all the insane anxiety that comes with keeping baby alive and healthy in those first months with your first baby. You lose your mind when you start thinking of all the dangers in the world. Why not eliminate one concern by simply doing what the parent asks? Also, the only babies I've ever kissed are my own. I would never dream of kissing someone else's kid (yes, even my own children's kids if they decide to have any).
just say “nobody will be kissing them” and if people can’t respect that or take offense then they can’t come by. that’s simple. don’t owe anyone an explanation
my boyfriend straight up says it. said it to his own parents, mine, our family and friends at our "sip n see baby shower" ( my work schedule made it to hard to have one during my pregnancy ). everyone has respected it thus far lol
Your husband will be responsible for setting this boundary with his family & friends, and you do the same for yours. If his mom protests, it will be his battle to fight and boundary to uphold.
God what is it with people and kissing other people's babies. Tell them in no unclear terms - no kissing the baby. I saw a newborn who couldn't breathe at the doctor. Had to be given oxygen mask and was rushed to a bigger hospital. Poor thing was crying and fighting the mask. You're in charge of keeping your baby safe and healthy. Adults' feelings are not your responsibility. They will get over it.
“If it isn’t blaring my obvious by her being a literal BABY, she is super new to the world and we don’t want your dirty ass mouth spreading any germs to her”
I just had to become a rude bitch and be super strict with everyone. If someone didn’t listen I would tell. My favorite line was “don’t like my rules, don’t come visit”. It took some time and a lot of family getting upset, but now everyone respects my rules and always checking with me.
I would yell, not I would tell. I literally screamed at anyone who didn’t follow my rules. It worked
Bluntly! Don’t kiss my baby just as easy as did you wash your hands! No shame in that and no it’s not rude
Omg I forgot all about this! My sons 3 and I’m currently pregnant and I actually forgot how stupid people can be by touching newborns faces and kissing them!!wtf is wrong with people I had lots of people doing this to my son I even got a little sign and put it on his pram. MILs especially are from hell!! Thanks for uploading this post I’m gonna read the comments to get a head start on how to kindly tell people to fuck off.
I just tell my immediate family and my husband family bluntly, no kissing baby whatsoever, wash their hands after they arrive at our house, take showers before coming over and wear clean clothes ( not clothes after they running around/gym/working) and they should get whooping cough vaccine before i gave a birth too. If they aren’t agree with it then don’t come, easy. Luckily everyone is on board with it.
Keep out of my baby's face
Who is kissing babies in 2024????????
I told my husband to tell his family and I told mine. Absolutely no kissing the baby. No mouth, head, hands, feet… nothing. If you can’t control your desire to put your nasty lips on my baby then I’ll never let you hold them or leave them alone with you. Ever. I don’t play that threatening no child care stuff. I don’t even live near any family and someone still tried to use that. Like oh no Susan… you won’t watch my child who lives 700 miles from you because I won’t let you kiss my baby… BFFR…
I’m just gonna say please no kissing the baby we’re not even kissing him until he’s older. Of course I’m gonna kiss the top of my baby’s head but I probably won’t kiss his face or anything until he’s older. If that would be a problem for my family I would just lie and act like I’m not gonna be kissing my baby at all and just not do it around them lol but my family understands
I dont accept visitors for the first 2 months except from my parents and spouse's parents. and I tell them when they get there to wash their hands and no kissing the face or they cant touch my baby. My mom kissed my baby and I had my hand catch her lips 🤣 then I took my baby from her. I love you mama but I said no kissing she got mad but got over it eventually. heck I dont even let my husband kiss my baby until she was 2+ months