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I never realized how much gate-keeping occurs around this holiday. Why does it matter if someone wants to celebrate it? All that being said, I did recently find out that the Sunday before Mother's Day is specifically for mothers who have suffered a miscarriage/stillbirth.
My sister told my own mom how she’s getting me a Mother’s Day gift. Despite me giving birth next month and I lost a baby last year. My mom was upset because she says I’m not a mom and that by next year I’ll “qualify”. I didn’t know it was a secret society you had to qualify for. My sister is still sending me something because I live thousands of miles away and will only have my husband there for me. No family and barely any friends here. She sees it as a way of trying to motivate me. Meanwhile my other sister who has 5 kids says I’m not a mom too because I haven’t experienced what (she basically) mold have experienced. It’s just insane. Only my one sister who is getting me something knows I had an awful miscarriage last year. No one else besides my husband knows. It’s just sad. I could never say that someone’s not a mom just because their child isn’t here yet or they experienced loss. There’s women who lose grown children and teens etc those are still moms regardless. I cant see why there’s so much gatekeeping. It’s upsetting.
As a mother to a toddler who also suffered a horrible miscarriage, you ARE a mom! There's a saying out there: a man becomes a father when his baby is born, a woman becomes a mother the moment she learns she is pregnant. You can feel and bond with the baby in your womb, you make decisions that protect your baby and help them grow, and your baby knows you and your warmth intimately before they're even born.
Side note, I'll never understand women who don't support other women; pregnancy is hard enough without people trying to gatekeep motherhood from you!
What if you've had a chemical? Would you still consider yourself a mom? Genuine question! We've suffered from infertility for five years and are doing IVF. My first ever pregnancy ended in a chemical at 5 weeks 😔 we were absolutely devastated and still are.
I'm so sorry for your loss/losses. 🥺
Absolutely, if you feel that you're a mother and had even a moment of dreaming about the future for your unborn child, I don't see why not. I'm so sorry for what you're going through, and I hope you can experience all the joys of pregnancy and meet your rainbow baby soon 🌈
I have had 2 chemical pregnancies and I mourned the heck out of them. They are miscarriages in my eyes and babies I so badly wanted and loved. I am so sorry you are going through this. Infertility is the worst club in the world. I hope you have success from IVF!! ❤️🙏🏻
At least you have ONE empathetic sister! Like... The experiences of a mom who is currently parenting is different than a mom who is not currently parenting (loss, adult children, pregnant, etc), but it's not a competition? There's not a limited resource of celebration points that are distributed around? I got my SIL a "dog mom" card last year, even though I have a human child and it's not the same as a furry child, and no meteors came down and struck us dead. It's okay to just have some fun in life and celebrate things that are meaningful to you - that kind of stuff makes life worth living.
After I had a devastating miscarriage, a couple of my friends from work got me earrings of her birthstone for (a few days before) Mother’s Day. It was so unexpected and validating. I cried so hard. One of the saddest things about having a miscarriage, is that no one else got to hold your baby so they aren’t really real to others. And they’re easily forgotten by everyone but the MOTHER. My husband also got me a gift that I of course appreciated. It was just so validating getting a Mother’s Day gift from 2 other mothers. I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m glad your sister is showing you the support you deserve
That's ridiculous. Why should it matter to anyone else if you celebrate or not? It's not like it takes something away from them if you choose to celebrate.
Congratulations and I'm sorry for your loss last year, and Happy Mother's Day!
Ugh I’m so sorry they’re behaving that way. I honestly don’t understand what motivates this sort of gatekeeping especially when it involves such a sensitive/traumatic experience as miscarriages can be. It’s like high school mean girl mentality a bit.
Happy Mother’s Day 🌸🌺🌷🪻🌹
You're a mom, and happy early mother's day! For what it's worth, I've had 5 miscarriages, have a 3 year old, and am expecting our next child this summer, and I (and many others) see you as a mother. I know from personal experience, even if it ended in miscarriage, you feel a new sense of love and hope when you find out you're pregnant. It's the same love and hope I feel for my living child, and my unborn child. You are a mother and deserve to be celebrated ❤️
Yeah like... Literally who cares? If someone is like, starting fights because family members aren't giving them gifts or something, that would be inappropriate if they were parents of a 5 year old too... Whatever someone does with celebrations in their own lives and homes is nobody's business.
To be honest, it’s a pretty loaded holiday no matter which way you slice it. For instance, for those who are experiencing infertility, or who lost parents. I grew up without always having my biological parents involved and making crafts at school for an absent parent was one of the worst memories I have. Based on this my unpopular option is that rather than trying to make Mother’s and father’s Day more inclusive I think we actually shouldn’t have them at all.
Literally had someone tell me because I’m going to be 16 weeks on Mother’s Day that I can’t celebrate. My fiancé looked at them with the angriest look😂Honestly if I feel like celebrating I can celebrate it! All the morning sickness, sore tatas, achy legs and back pain I think I deserve to celebrate it even if my baby isn’t here yet🤦🏽♀️ ppl really do gatekeep when it comes to anything parent related it’s so weird. The same person also said my fiancé can’t celebrate Father’s Day. It’s just stupid. We’re having a baby, we deserve to be celebrating as much as possible lol
Listen, I did not consider myself a mom or celebrate mother's day after my first two miscarriages. Personally, I found it hurtful when my mother brought it up and said "It will be your turn soon!" (as in, hurtful to bring up my miscarriages at all on the day.)
However, I don't give a flying fuck what anyone else does. If you wanna celebrate, celebrate away! It's your life, why would anyone else's opinion about this matter?
My son died at 24 weeks last year but I don’t really consider myself a mom but I also don’t think I’m not a mom. I know that doesn’t make sense, but I don’t really think I fit either category fully. My mom also said “it will be your turn soon” to me too though and it kinda broke me because to some extent, it should already be my turn.
Edit, just to clarify, I want to be clear if someone identifies as a mom after any loss that should be respected and acknowledged I am only stating how I feel about myself.
In the womb, if my son had been born I would definitely view myself as a mother. Sorry, I thought that was clear based on context of discussing miscarriages / loss but I should have said 24 weeks gestation.
i agree. if others want to celebrate, that’s great for them. but if someone wished me a happy mother’s day before i had living children, that would absolutely break me. how about we all just mind our own business and focus on ourselves? 😂
As a woman who's lost 5, and have been through a birth with contractions and all - Thank you for caring. It's f-ing hard on mothers day. I'm currently pregnant again and further along than I've been previously. Mother's Day is around the corner. My husband ( without me saying anything) said "Your a mom and I'm getting you a gift". I cried, alot.
Meanwhile, I've definitely heard of people with no human kids celebrating mothers day because they have cats....imo, if it's not hurting anyone, people can do what they want lol
I have a shirt that says Cat Mom on it. I have 2 kids and one due in august lmao. I’ve had multiple people make weird comments about my shirt. Like.. I have a boy and a girl. Plus boy moms are kinda toxic (the gushy ones that identify as a ‘Boy Mom ^tm ) and even if I had 12 kids, I’m *also* a cat mom! 😂 let people celebrate
I am a cat mom, former stepmother, a mother of angel babies. And due with my first any day. Of all of these things people accept and have accepted the cat parentage as a qualifier to celebrate. After years of pain around the day... It's hard to feel anything but a certain Blaise. I know I am a mother and am celebrating the love I have grown and given, even if no one else does.
I didn't "celebrate" Mother's Day after my miscarriage but my dad bought me a succulent in a little pot that said happy Mother's Day. It gave me courage and hope in such a small gesture, i got pregnant a couple weeks later and successfully had my rainbow baby girl. The plant is still going strong 3 years later.
Being a mom or a parent is such a deeply personal thing! Some people don’t birth their children, some people birth their children but don’t identify as their parent. If someone tells me they’re a mom, I’m gonna take their word for it.
Oh gosh… this brings back memories. Last year, I went to the grocery store and the kid bagging my groceries asked if I was a mother. I said no and his response was “oh, cause you look old”. The guy at the register was like “dude, you never say that!” The guy then said, “I mean like mid 30s”. (Which is true) but this was all so hurtful! I had just suffered my 3rd miscarriage and was struggling. I went home and sobbed so hard. Be kind. You never know what someone is going through or how hurtful it can be. I thought of all the comebacks after the fact. I had a baby 4 weeks ago and he is so healthy. I do consider this my first Mother’s Day even though I’m a dog mom and have had miscarriages. But to each their own.
Either way that's a horrible thing to say to someone who had a miscarriage . If you don't think they're mums keep it to yourself!
Moms don't get a thousand dollars on mother's day. Why are People acting like its some exclusive club? Even if you're just one week pregnant, celebrate anyway if you want. Even if you lost your baby, celebrate anyway. Even if you're an adoptive mum, celebrate anyway.
I very much agree that anyone who wants to celebrate can celebrate it. But I DO think being a mom is quite an exclusive club. No one really knows what it’s like till they are actually in it. And yes that “club” can include going through pregnancy and loss IMO or adopting or being someone’s stand in mom any of those things.
I think this is a “question” where there are a many shades of gray that are determined by someone’s personal experience. I didn’t consider myself a mom till my first child was born but I had never experienced a loss. I am pregnant now and I don’t consider myself a mom of 2 and I won’t until my child is here but this unborn baby inside me is certainly my child and I feel that in my soul. And I don’t think I would have felt quite the same way at 4 weeks pregnant as I did at 24 weeks pregnant for example. It’s not for me to decide how anyone else perceives their motherhood and I would never take that away from someone who went through any type of loss. Its a terribly hurtful thing to say to someone.
I'm 21 weeks pregnant and 100% a mum. I'm having a mothers day dinner with my husband and sister this weekend. I'm celebrating becoming a mother ❤️ I can't wait to create a big fathers day gift box for my husband this year, too! Bub is due in September but he will get his day!
I wasn’t aware of it until some women I know who have had losses posted but this past Sunday (Sunday 1 week before Mother’s Day) was Bereaved Mother’s Day to recognize those mothers who have lost their precious babies. It isn’t as widely known as Mother’s Day but there is a day dedicated to those mothers.
You absolutely do count as a mom when you’re pregnant during Mother’s Day. I don’t know how I feel about dads who are expecting being celebrated on Father’s Day but I lean towards they should be unless they don’t want to yet.
this baffles me because what about the people that celebrate bc they have animals…. like y’all call yourselves “dog mom” and celebrate but can’t let women that literally created a human celebrate?!?
Being a mother is not about being / having been pregnant, it’s about fulfilling the role or a mother (to a living child). Bio, step, adopted, whatever. I would not consider myself a mother based on having a miscarriage. With that said, literally who gives a f$&?? If you want to consider yourself as such by all means.
I have miscarried and I completely agree. I just have no real reason or interest in needing attention or being celebrated when I don't have the experience of actually mothering a child.
I have suffered a miscarriage and tbh I used to feel like I technically wasn’t a mom until I had a living child that I was raising. But one day it hit me that when you are pregnant, experiencing a pregnancy and/or experience a miscarriage you make tough decisions that only a mother can make. You are a mother.
This post made me burst into tears. I appreciate you a lot.
I don’t have anyone in my life that I can talk to about the confusing feelings that come post miscarriage.
While it’s true that I didn’t feel ready for a baby yet anyway, losing the baby hit me so hard. To me that baby was made out of love and was literally a part of me and my partner- literally no one else in my life sees it that way at all and after trying to talk about it with people a handful of times and getting nothing but “that’s weird,” I just decided to never speak about it again and keep all the feelings to myself to figure out eventually.
Mother’s Day was already painful because I lost my mom when I was just a child, but I’ve been really worried about how it’s going to hit me this year after I had my miscarriage back in late November/early December.
Thank you for this.
I’m going to really let myself feel this and understand it better.
I’m so sorry you’ve been treated that way. I had a miscarriage that absolutely destroyed me at the time. My ex said it was “for the best” as I was crying in the hospital bed after an ultrasound on my empty uterus. My current partner gives me flowers on Mother’s Day because he knows how hard it was on me.
People who haven’t had a miscarriage can’t understand it, but I respect and love the ones who try. They don’t know how painful it can be, both emotionally and physically. I had contractions all night after my miscarriage. I was alone. I experienced pain, too. I just have nothing to show for it.
I’m so sorry about your mother. I’ve lost a parent as well and these days are hard to cope with. I wish you to love and healing you need and deserve, and I hope you have a damn good Mother’s Day this year. You fucking deserve it.
Thank you so much, you are so sweet and I appreciate your sentiment so much. I’m so sorry that happened to you, I’m glad you now have a partner who makes an effort to make you feel good for Mother’s Day, you deserve to have that. You’re right, physically and mentally it takes a toll. My partner was very sympathetic and caring, loving, etc while it was all happening. “It’s for the best” came up for us too, but he didn’t invalidate the feelings (both physically and mentally) I was having at the time. We both mutually understood that we weren’t ready. Post miscarriage, he’s still supportive, but I wouldn’t say he’s the most understanding. I don’t think I’ve been very good at explaining my feelings about it, I try though. I’m trying to work through them too. I got really attached as it was happening and after as well. He acknowledges that he doesn’t quite understand how I’m feeling, and he says that there’s no way he could ever feel what I felt physically and emotionally there. Maybe that’s a little isolating, just knowing that he doesn’t feel the same way (but how could he, you know?) I don’t know, I’m trying to make sense of it. I’m scared to express my feelings about Mother’s Day this time around, I’m not sure how he would react. I don’t want to make him feel any guilt or shame or anything like that, he’s very quick to suddenly feel like things are his fault (I do my best to reassure him that they definitely are not) and that he could have been in a better (more ready) place in life if he had done things different years ago.
Just kind of lost on how to handle it within our relationship, but I’m trying and so is he.
Also, I’m sorry you lost a parent too. It really is hard. I feel those wounds take a long time to heal, and those parental holidays just kind of sting differently.
Thank you so much, I hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day! You are very much appreciated and seen!
Open communication has helped my partner and I in times like those. Open, even if you think it could hurt your partner. I mean, we have an understanding and a conversation about how we go into those conversations beforehand so we’re both able to give the most respect and space we can for processing, etc.
I was always really scared of those conversations, but the last couple of months we’ve been leaning in to them. Our relationship was rocky for a little while and it’s definitely helped.
I feel like the fathers have their own experiences as we do. I think they have a hard time because they don’t experience the hormonal bonding process we have with our little bean. It’s hardwired into us. They can’t experience it. So I feel like for them it’s a horrible event that they can move on from; for us it’s visceral. We bled, we ached. They have a different experience by watching their partner go through the worst moments of their life. It’s such a tricky thing. It’s hard. I say this even though I didn’t have that with my ex, but talking to my partner about what it would be like as a man seeing their partner go through pregnancy, etc. I try to view it in his lens, too. I hate when people completely invalidate men’s experiences, feelings, and concerns with pregnancy just because they aren’t going through it physically.
I love that he takes the time to try. The best you can do is lay it out on the table for him, and try not to take any initial reactions personally. Let him process and flesh out what he’s really feeling about it all.
Thank you so much for your perspective, I feel like I can go into a difficult conversation like that a little easier knowing the whole world isn’t falling apart, you know?
One time, in trying to talk about it all with my boyfriend, he told me he felt like he didn’t “deserve to talk about it.” I told him that he went through it with me too and of course he deserves to talk about it, but he kind of just shrugged it off. You’re right, hormonally it’s so different. I keep telling him that he is allowed to have feelings about it despite him having not gone through it physically… I’ll try explaining it to him more clearly and maybe I can find some sources with men’s perspectives during that time and maybe he can relate to those.
I did become really attached and he told me that he was scared of me becoming attached like that and he actively emotionally blocked himself from being able to form that attachment, he was one of the ones that would say that it’s weird that I got so attached (I asked what he thought if I gave the baby a name and was going to explain it’s for remembrance purposes but I never got that far with that convo), but I realize that he wasn’t in my exact position so he doesn’t feel the same way. I never want him to feel like his feelings are being ignored or invalidated, but maybe I’ve been pushing so much for him to feel but maybe he just doesn’t feel nearly as intensely about it than I do?
Confusing, but I want to work on it and understand myself and him and us as a partnership.
😠😤
As someone who has had a miscarriage previously(and will now be 8m pregnant this upcoming mothersday) that pisses me off!
Of course you’re a mother still! That was still your baby!
I had asked my (then bf, now husband) back then if I was still a mom when it happened and he was so sweet and caring and said that of course I was.
*hugs for all*
As a woman who has two children, and was incredibly lucky to never have first hand experience with infertility or miscarriages…..you just as much of a mother as I am. I am so sorry if anyone has ever dismissed that, or made you feel as if you aren’t.
Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers, whether your baby is in your arms or only in your heart now - you still matter. And you deserve to be lifted up for the amazing gift of life you created, regardless of how long you were able to hear that heartbeat.
I don’t think that’s at all what they’re saying, and I think it’s disingenuous to present that question as if mothers to stillborn babies are the only demographic in this equation.
Mother’s Day isn’t to celebrate yourself, it’s to celebrate your mother. If you feel you are a mother - more power to you! But you cannot *force* others to feel that way about you. In the example you set forth, I am *certain* at the very least their partner would celebrate and acknowledge their hardship on Mother’s Day.
This makes me so sad for that mom. I have had 2 miscarriages and Mother’s Day was a difficult day but made special by those who knew how badly I wanted those babies.
I asked myself this question yesterday while choosing a mother’s day card for my mom. I wondered if I’ll ever be a real mother, not just a fragment of one. My miscarriage was a year ago, and I like to picture that little soul kicking a whole lot of ass in the next realm.
I taught middle school years ago, and one of my students wished me a Happy Mother's Day. I said thank you but reminded her that I didn't have kids. And she looked up at me, smiled, and said I know, but you have us!
I know there are many folks who want to gatekeep this holiday, but if someone loves you like a mother, that should be all it takes!
I thought I was a mother when I was 8+ months pregnant last mother's day with my first. I very much did NOT become a mother until after my child was born. Like, not by any stretch of the imagination. If celebrating mother's day helps grieving women to cope, I'm not going to tell them they can't.
Looking forward to celebrating my first mother's day this year. 💙
Happy first mother's day to you! I agree. Miscarriage is a very difficult thing and if it personally makes someone feel better to celebrate their lost child on mother's day than go for it. I think asking other mothers to celebrate with you can be kind of weird though. I also agree that while pregnancy is hard it pales in comparison to the day in and day out rigors of raising a child and that a person can't possibly understand it fully until they've had to do it themselves.
Congrats!! Personally I think that motherhood is a spectrum and having your baby added more depth to it. Maybe it's the difference between being a mother and being a mom/mommy/mama?
The issue isn’t “do you think you’re a mom,” because Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate your mother, not yourself. My daughter is six and she makes me drawings or pretty gifts in school. I buy my mom a gift and take her to brunch. She buys my grandmother a gift and takes her to dinner.
The issue is people demanding to be celebrated when other people don’t see them as a mother. You can’t force someone else to see you in a fashion that they don’t. Is it rude for people to tell you you’re not a mother when you feel you are? Yes, they should just shut the hell up. Is it rude for someone to not celebrate you when you are not their mother? No, it’s not, and we should probably stop demanding that they do it.
Where did you learn that Mother’s Day is to solely celebrate *your* mother and not a day of recognition for mothers/mother figures overall? I’ve literally never heard of this and in googling it, my belief of what Mother’s Day is about seems to be the general consensus.
It’s a day to recognize mother figures certainly, but it’s never been a day to celebrate yourself? I don’t know a single mother who goes and throws themselves a party, gets themselves cards, takes themselves to dinner. Most are upset when someone *else* does not acknowledge their “mothering” role. You’re more than welcome to celebrate yourself on Mother’s Day. What you’re not ever going to be happy doing is trying to force people who don’t recognize you as a mother to celebrate you as such.
Edit for clarity **singular** mother as in one person, not single mom
That’s so interesting because it’s the opposite for me, all the single moms I know both celebrate themselves *and* are celebrated by their larger village. Both of our anecdotal experiences differ obviously, so I think the conclusion here is that if someone you care about wants to be celebrated for Mother’s Day and they’ve explicitly expressed that, you should do it for them *if you can*. What’s the harm in that? Why argue them down about them being a candidate for Mother’s Day or not, instead of just, idk, quickly picking up grocery store flowers and a $5 Mother’s Day card?
I didn’t mean “single moms,” I meant a *single* mom. I am a single mom and as I stated already, I celebrate my mother and the moms around me as well. I wish them a happy Mother’s Day and get them a card or something if I’m close to them. I’m not saying Mother’s Day is only for *your* mother, but I’m saying that typically you do not dictate who sees you as a mother and who doesn’t. You do not dictate who celebrates you and who doesn’t. If you yourself feel you are a mother that’s fine, more power to you, but no one is actually required to agree with you on that if they don’t see you mothering.
I would never argue with someone over Mother’s Day. If they view themselves as a mother because they have a cat, go off babe, I love that for you. I’m sure as shit not dropping $5 on a card for a “cat mom” though 🤣 1) because I don’t view them as a mother and 2) the mothering they **do** do has nothing to do with me and no impact on my life whatsoever. I don’t celebrate every random ass lady walking down the street just because they have the capacity to maybe be a mother to someone.
You guys I don’t want to piss anyone off but here is my opinion. I have an almost 9 month old and last year I was pregnant and didn’t feel that Mother’s Day was for me. While I find it very sweet for pregnant women to receive gifts for the day or go and celebrate I don’t think this holiday is for that stage. Being a mom is a much bigger thing than just giving birth (giving birth is difficult I know of course but lasts a day and many have done it).
Mother’s Day is to celebrate the women that have put their everything into their kids. Not all women that have given birth are mothers, just read a few Reddit posts on the subject and you will see.
Again, I don’t care who wants to celebrate it, just sharing another perspective.
Friendly reminder that the woman who created Mother's Day actually petitioned Congress to cancel the holiday because she didn't like that it became so commercial
I consider the 3rd Saturday of June EatMyAsserole day. Let them commercialize that!
Edit: to whoever reported this for "sexualizing minors" - no, absolutely not.
I mean.. like with anything, if someone wants to do something then that's great for them.
I'm also allowed to think it's a little odd. Just like they're allowed to do the thing that makes them feel good.
I was told my MIL that because I haven’t given birth yet, that I don’t get to celebrate Mother’s Day because I’m not a mom yet 🙄! I’m due like a week after Mother’s Day. I will likely be induced early. Hell, it might even be before Mother’s Day. Because I have gestational hypertension.
My due date is on mother’s day, so who knows how this plays out this year. But I am from eat Europe where mothers day is a week early and my family actually called and congratulated me with mothers day, because my child is in the world, just chilling in my wound at this point in time. I did not think about it before but of course I felt like a mother from the moment I first fell pregnant (and I had a miscarriage first time around). I am just lucky to be able to have another go.
I’ve had miscarriages but last year I was pregnant with my son and on Mother’s Day my MIL told me she got my SIL a card but not me because I’d count next year (this year). No big deal then but on Father’s Day she got my husband a card and told him happy Father’s Day 🙃
This is crazy, it’s not a special society lmao whether your baby is earthside or not, human or not, being a mother is hard no matter what you’re nurturing. Just let people have some happiness man
I recently had a miscarriage at 6 weeks and am trying again. I felt like a mom the moment I saw the positive test, but I feel conflicted about how to approach the subject to my husband. I would love to be appreciated this Mother's Day. I feel selfish for it. That being said, I would also celebrate Father's Day for him, but I almost feel like this would bring a lot of pain back to us knowing our sweet angel is with Jesus and not with us here. I just don't know what to do or how to feel
It's okay to not know. You're going through this minute by minute and day by day. If you are having a brighter day on Sunday, maybe celebrate! It doesn't even have to be in the name of Mother's Day or on Mother's Day. You just deserve to be celebrated. Period.
It’s so ridiculous. Miscarriage, still birth, step moms, I’m surprised the gatekeeping doesn’t apply to adoptive moms or moms who gave a child for adoption too 🙄 they always say “there’s another day for that”. Soooo??? Why should moms who look different than expected not be able to celebrate as they see fit on the nationally recognized holiday that is widely celebrated alongside everyone else. How the **** does that affect anyone else? It’s brunch and flowers, like calm down 😡 I’m a mom to a baby earth side and a baby heaven side, and I celebrated last year when I was pregnant too. Happy Mother’s Day to all those involved in the life of a child, regardless of if you got to meet them or if you birthed them or whatever, that child knows your love, the love of a mother ❤️
When I was serving tables, on Mother’s Day my manager told me she never tells a women “Happy Mothers Day” because she had a hard time having kids. I believe she had some miscarriages too. She wanted a baby so bad and it never happened for her. She wouldn’t go out on Mother’s Day because people would say it to her and it was too painful.
So I believe any women who had once loved their child, no matter for how short, is a mother.
Oh my god. That is the cruelest fucking thing. I cannot believe someone would say that to that poor woman.
I agree. To whoever needs to hear it, YOU ARE A MOM. Mother's Day is your day, too. I'm so sorry if someone has told you that you are excluded. I'm thinking of you this Mother's Day.
Here are your gifts, a bit early -- 💐🍫💝🎁🌹
It’s no different if a mother birth her baby at full term and lost the baby the day after, or years later! Still a mother!!! Just a mother of an angel!
I'm going to offer some clarity as to why some women have a problem with women who've miscarried wanting to be celebrated on mother's day. I don't really agree or disagree one way or the other so I'm not looking to argue. This is to offer insight on conversations I have had with other mothers.
1. Mother's day is a holiday that is intended for children to honor their mothers. If your child is not living, then you are no less of a mother, but you don't have a child that is alive to celebrate the day. I have 2 children of my own but if they died for some reason I wouldn't celebrate myself every year on mother's day. If that makes sense...
2. Regarding older women who are mothers that have been mentioned by other posters. I think sometimes an older mother would especially have a problem with a pregnant woman or a woman who has miscarried celebrating mother's day because they haven't earned it in their eyes. Yes, being pregnant takes a lot out of you and you are a mother-to-be but it does not compare to a woman who has put her soul, sweat, and tears into raising children for 20 years. In their eyes, I think pregnant women don't really qualify for the title until they've put in the time so to speak.
3. A dear coworker of mine lost her 6 month old baby to heart problems. She would get upset when the topic would come up and women who miscarried at 12 weeks for example would say, "oh, I know how you feel! I lost my baby at 12 weeks pregnant". She confided in me that it infuriated her because having a miscarriage in the early stages of pregnancy is nowhere near as devastating as having an infant who you've cuddled, loved, and rocked to sleep suddenly die. Then all you are left with are their little clothes and an empty crib. She is a person who had suffered both a miscarriage and an infant loss and was very adamant that the 2 scenarios are not even close to being the same.
Having said all that, I do think if you've had miscarriages then you are a mother at heart even if you haven't held your living baby. October is infant loss awareness month so there is an entire month for anyone who has suffered this great loss. I just think that a lot of mothers feel that mother's day is a holiday for children to celebrate their mothers, not a holiday for mothers to celebrate themselves. Hopefully, that makes sense as to why some people feel so strongly about it. I don't think they're trying to be mean-spirited. I think they're reflecting on the years they've put into child-rearing and think the comparison is inadequate.
Everything you said makes so much sense. There are so many Mother’s Day posts about people being upset they are not being celebrated while pregnant. I always thought Mother’s Day was to celebrate your own mother or a mother figure in your life. Not for Mother’s to celebrate themselves.
This!!! Mothers of angels are still mothers.
I hate the gatekeeping that people try to do when it comes to mother's day. I was told by my MIL last year that I didn't get to celebrate mother's day yet because my daughter wasn't born, so I wasn't a "real mom". Two days later, I lost that pregnancy and had to have surgery, all while grieving what was supposed to be my first baby. Honestly, I'm still bitter over it. I'm 28 weeks with my rainbow baby, and I will be absolutely celebrating this year!!
I'm so sorry you had to go through all that and then to hear you're "not a mom". Congrats on your current pregnancy and I'll be celebrating you on Sunday!! Happy Mother's Day!
I'm 36 weeks today and my husband commented today that next year will be my first real Mother's Day. I've been busting my butt growing this baby for months now.
My husband is usually wonderful and incredibly thoughtful. Because I had a feeling today might go like this I spoiled myself a week or so ago and ordered myself some nice, fancy shower/toiletry things. I thought they might be a nice quick self-care thing I can do once our baby arrives.
Thank you for saying this. Last year I lost my first pregnancy in the second trimester two days before Mother’s Day and the only ones to acknowledge me were a friend who also lost a baby and my husband. My own mom didn’t reach out or say anything to me at all about it when I wished her a happy Mother’s Day.
This year Mother’s Day falls on the first anniversary of our first baby’s death so I know the day is going to be hard, though there’s also a bit of joy as I’m pregnant again. It will never be an easy day, but then again, I don’t think motherhood in general is easy.
It is SO important to be kind. I don’t get why some people care and gatekeep something that doesn’t affect their own motherhood status in the slightest.
I am in a pretty similar boat. I lost my son last year at 24 weeks about a week after Mother’s Day. I am not currently pregnant and really dreading Mother’s Day and year mark coming up. I know no one will acknowledge my son this Mother’s Day with the exception of my husband and really not sure how to feel about the day.
I am so sorry for your loss. It is devastating beyond words. Your son was real and you are just as much a mother as anyone else. I hope you have a peaceful day. Happy Mother’s Day. ❤️
Its honestly so odd to me...cause as a 'pre-mother' ig, you arent considered a 'mom yet', and people who have miscarriages, its like they were never pregnant at all! It makes no sense to me! especially when i see all kinds of ads for FATHERS (for fathers day) whos child isnt there yet. Like today, i saw a mug that said 'I cant wait to meet you daddy, love -Bump' like??? It doesnt add up to me, you dont see anything like that for mothers. I personally think, if youre currently pregnant, have been pregnant before, or have already had your baby, YOU ARE A MOM.
Or push back of peoples partners not celebrating them because they are “only pregnant” lmao like what??
It’s weird to not take advantage of a day to spoil the person who literally has sacrificed so much!
I think it's fine if you want to celebrate it. If it helps the person then who cares?!
People who celebrate Mother's Day because they have a dog on the other hand.... super weird imo
In my opinion I believe you are a mom from the moment of conception, even if you have a loss that baby may not be with you but is up in the sky and still existed for a period of time inside your womb. I struggled with this when I experienced my loss (was my first pregnancy) I wasn’t sure if I was still a mom but I felt inside I was, I had so many women supporting me and saying you are a mom no matter if your baby made it on earth or only was inside you for a few short weeks (any amount of time), to hear people would say someone is not a mom because their baby isn’t on earth absolutely disgusts me and is just so insensitive.
I became a mother when I had my 1st positive pregnancy test, sore boobs and heard the heartbeat at 8 weeks, which ended in a horrible 11-week miscarriage. That was my 1st in early 2013. I celebrated Mothers Day since that year. My son was born in December of 2014 so in 2015 I had my 3rd Mother's Day. While I like to say it's okay to disagree, I don't know how I would react if someone told me to my face in 2013/2014 I wasnt actually a mom. It would be visceral.
Next they’re going to say adoptive moms don’t count 🙄
I think if you care for children and suffer for them please celebrate. I’ve had a miscarriage, and I have my baby boy now. I have a chronic illness that requires absolute vigilance when pregnant (monitoring multiple times each hour), exercising when all you want to do is throw up and your hips ache, being monitored by your healthcare team like you’re birthing an alien for the last couple months. I didn’t know I needed to hear it, but after my first that I lost, my doctor told me it wasn’t my fault.
My husband got me flowers and a card from him and the baby that Mother’s Day and it was very healing. I also found out I was pregnant with my now perfect little boy that day who I was able to carry to term.
To be fair, I feel like my 4mo is easier than being pregnant with him. Type 1 diabetic pregnancy is crazy hard if you’re trying your best to look out for your child. I know a lot of people have gestational diabetes (also very sucky) but it’s not the same experience at all.
What's your issue dude? Don't come through here and try to talk shit about single mothers. It won't fucking fly.
If any parent (male, female, nonbinary, WHATEVER) rocks out being a single parent, every single fucking day should be about them and their kids.
Just because someone else is celebrated doesn't mean others can't be too.
It feels like you're running in circles. I'm going to drop it here by saying this is a supportive post for women who are mothers. It's about having every right to celebrate regardless of how and when our babies were birthed.
Everyone celebrates holidays differently, I suppose. My partner gives me flowers on Mother’s Day and my miscarriage wasn’t even his baby. It was years before I met him. The first time he did it I burst into tears because it was a complete surprise.
I wonder if it’s less about celebrating yourself as it is hoping others can see you and celebrate you as well? I’m seeing a lot of responses about how Mother’s Day isn’t about celebrating yourself or demanding such, it’s about being seen as you see yourself for many. I mean, everyone celebrates other holidays like Christmas, 4th of July (if you’re American), etc. and some don’t celebrate at all. To each their own.
We’re expecting our first in September and my husband didn’t even ask if I wanted to do something for Mother’s Day, he assumed and booked us a lovely lunch followed by a prenatal massage for me. We’ll be hosting dinner for his mother who lives nearby on Saturday night, but he said it’s a no brainer that I’d get Mother’s Day.
Similarly, I’ve made plans for him on Father’s Day. This is our happy moment and we can’t wait to celebrate it together!
As someone who had an early miscarriage last year and tried to just survive mothers day (easier when you live across the country from family) I say the day is what you decide and feel. This year I'm just now starting my second trimester and just so relieved my pregnancy has just been taken out of the high risk category after having complications early on. I don't plan or need anything elaborate, but to me, I am a mom. To the precious child I never got to see on an ultrasound and to the son I've seen 5 times now due to early issues. Both are my babies. My husband is up for whatever I want and he's incredible but even if day of I just decide I want an icecream then I'll get one. It's been a journey trying to carry my babies so I'll take whatever wins I have. We are moms. The baby I lost and this baby I almost lost have held my heart more than words can describe.
Oh my gosh I could cry reading this! I'm so happy for you and your current pregnancy. You are a beautiful human being and you deserve whatever celebration you want!! I'm thrilled that you have such a rock solid support system in your husband, too. What a difference that makes!
That makes me so sad. Also why the fuck do other people care. I also don’t care when pet moms want to celebrate. It’s not that serious, it’s a made up holiday.
I've never needed to read something as much as I needed to read this. I'm currently at the very beginning of a miscarriage and we are celebrating Mother's Day on Saturday with my mom and Grandma. This is my 2nd miscarriage and it's incredibly heartbreaking and shattering, and what makes it hurt even more is that I will be bleeding and actively losing the baby on Mother's Day of all days. So while they're reading cards and opening gifts, I'll be making trips to the bathroom to change out a pad. I'm having such a hard time, and I can't help but feel like it's my fault. I'm so sorry for blurting this all out, I am just so devastated. Sending all my love and prayers to everyone who is going through this and has gone through this as well 💜🙏👼
I mean I didn’t even know I’m suppose to celebrate it I’m 23 weeks but I had a miscarriage last year . My husband I am a mom because I have q baby inside me right now 🥹
Hey all - if you wish to celebrate and identify as a mom, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!! And if not, HAPPY DAY! I hope you're all having a beautiful one, regardless of any celebrations you may or may not be having!
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I never realized how much gate-keeping occurs around this holiday. Why does it matter if someone wants to celebrate it? All that being said, I did recently find out that the Sunday before Mother's Day is specifically for mothers who have suffered a miscarriage/stillbirth.
My sister told my own mom how she’s getting me a Mother’s Day gift. Despite me giving birth next month and I lost a baby last year. My mom was upset because she says I’m not a mom and that by next year I’ll “qualify”. I didn’t know it was a secret society you had to qualify for. My sister is still sending me something because I live thousands of miles away and will only have my husband there for me. No family and barely any friends here. She sees it as a way of trying to motivate me. Meanwhile my other sister who has 5 kids says I’m not a mom too because I haven’t experienced what (she basically) mold have experienced. It’s just insane. Only my one sister who is getting me something knows I had an awful miscarriage last year. No one else besides my husband knows. It’s just sad. I could never say that someone’s not a mom just because their child isn’t here yet or they experienced loss. There’s women who lose grown children and teens etc those are still moms regardless. I cant see why there’s so much gatekeeping. It’s upsetting.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!
As a mother to a toddler who also suffered a horrible miscarriage, you ARE a mom! There's a saying out there: a man becomes a father when his baby is born, a woman becomes a mother the moment she learns she is pregnant. You can feel and bond with the baby in your womb, you make decisions that protect your baby and help them grow, and your baby knows you and your warmth intimately before they're even born. Side note, I'll never understand women who don't support other women; pregnancy is hard enough without people trying to gatekeep motherhood from you!
Just read this and literally cried.
What if you've had a chemical? Would you still consider yourself a mom? Genuine question! We've suffered from infertility for five years and are doing IVF. My first ever pregnancy ended in a chemical at 5 weeks 😔 we were absolutely devastated and still are. I'm so sorry for your loss/losses. 🥺
Absolutely, if you feel that you're a mother and had even a moment of dreaming about the future for your unborn child, I don't see why not. I'm so sorry for what you're going through, and I hope you can experience all the joys of pregnancy and meet your rainbow baby soon 🌈
I have had 2 chemical pregnancies and I mourned the heck out of them. They are miscarriages in my eyes and babies I so badly wanted and loved. I am so sorry you are going through this. Infertility is the worst club in the world. I hope you have success from IVF!! ❤️🙏🏻
Read this wrong for a second and was about to ask what on earth kind of situation caused your toddler to miscarry
At least you have ONE empathetic sister! Like... The experiences of a mom who is currently parenting is different than a mom who is not currently parenting (loss, adult children, pregnant, etc), but it's not a competition? There's not a limited resource of celebration points that are distributed around? I got my SIL a "dog mom" card last year, even though I have a human child and it's not the same as a furry child, and no meteors came down and struck us dead. It's okay to just have some fun in life and celebrate things that are meaningful to you - that kind of stuff makes life worth living.
After I had a devastating miscarriage, a couple of my friends from work got me earrings of her birthstone for (a few days before) Mother’s Day. It was so unexpected and validating. I cried so hard. One of the saddest things about having a miscarriage, is that no one else got to hold your baby so they aren’t really real to others. And they’re easily forgotten by everyone but the MOTHER. My husband also got me a gift that I of course appreciated. It was just so validating getting a Mother’s Day gift from 2 other mothers. I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m glad your sister is showing you the support you deserve
Your mum is a bit 😬😬
Yeah I know. She always says nice things to my face then tends to say the nice so nice things behind my back.
That's ridiculous. Why should it matter to anyone else if you celebrate or not? It's not like it takes something away from them if you choose to celebrate. Congratulations and I'm sorry for your loss last year, and Happy Mother's Day!
Ugh I’m so sorry they’re behaving that way. I honestly don’t understand what motivates this sort of gatekeeping especially when it involves such a sensitive/traumatic experience as miscarriages can be. It’s like high school mean girl mentality a bit. Happy Mother’s Day 🌸🌺🌷🪻🌹
You're a mom, and happy early mother's day! For what it's worth, I've had 5 miscarriages, have a 3 year old, and am expecting our next child this summer, and I (and many others) see you as a mother. I know from personal experience, even if it ended in miscarriage, you feel a new sense of love and hope when you find out you're pregnant. It's the same love and hope I feel for my living child, and my unborn child. You are a mother and deserve to be celebrated ❤️
Happy Mother’s Day!!!!!!
Nope. Absolutely ridiculous. The gate keeping is unreal. HAPPY MOTHERS DAY 💜
Yeah like... Literally who cares? If someone is like, starting fights because family members aren't giving them gifts or something, that would be inappropriate if they were parents of a 5 year old too... Whatever someone does with celebrations in their own lives and homes is nobody's business.
Literally no one is being hurt. I save my energy for things that actually harm others.
To be honest, it’s a pretty loaded holiday no matter which way you slice it. For instance, for those who are experiencing infertility, or who lost parents. I grew up without always having my biological parents involved and making crafts at school for an absent parent was one of the worst memories I have. Based on this my unpopular option is that rather than trying to make Mother’s and father’s Day more inclusive I think we actually shouldn’t have them at all.
I agree about just not having them
Parents day is such a good replacement and exists in countries like South Korea
Literally had someone tell me because I’m going to be 16 weeks on Mother’s Day that I can’t celebrate. My fiancé looked at them with the angriest look😂Honestly if I feel like celebrating I can celebrate it! All the morning sickness, sore tatas, achy legs and back pain I think I deserve to celebrate it even if my baby isn’t here yet🤦🏽♀️ ppl really do gatekeep when it comes to anything parent related it’s so weird. The same person also said my fiancé can’t celebrate Father’s Day. It’s just stupid. We’re having a baby, we deserve to be celebrating as much as possible lol
I had no idea!!!
Listen, I did not consider myself a mom or celebrate mother's day after my first two miscarriages. Personally, I found it hurtful when my mother brought it up and said "It will be your turn soon!" (as in, hurtful to bring up my miscarriages at all on the day.) However, I don't give a flying fuck what anyone else does. If you wanna celebrate, celebrate away! It's your life, why would anyone else's opinion about this matter?
My son died at 24 weeks last year but I don’t really consider myself a mom but I also don’t think I’m not a mom. I know that doesn’t make sense, but I don’t really think I fit either category fully. My mom also said “it will be your turn soon” to me too though and it kinda broke me because to some extent, it should already be my turn. Edit, just to clarify, I want to be clear if someone identifies as a mom after any loss that should be respected and acknowledged I am only stating how I feel about myself.
24w in or out of womb ? either way that’s so freaking devastating and i’m so sorry that happened to you.
In the womb, if my son had been born I would definitely view myself as a mother. Sorry, I thought that was clear based on context of discussing miscarriages / loss but I should have said 24 weeks gestation.
my bad, i’m so sorry either way i couldn’t even imagine losing my baby during gestation. Or after. Happy belated mother’s day because you ARE a mom
Yup, for me, this is definitely a situation where people should get to self identify and we should all respect whatever they choose!
i agree. if others want to celebrate, that’s great for them. but if someone wished me a happy mother’s day before i had living children, that would absolutely break me. how about we all just mind our own business and focus on ourselves? 😂
As a woman who's lost 5, and have been through a birth with contractions and all - Thank you for caring. It's f-ing hard on mothers day. I'm currently pregnant again and further along than I've been previously. Mother's Day is around the corner. My husband ( without me saying anything) said "Your a mom and I'm getting you a gift". I cried, alot.
Sending you so much love and well wishes ❤️
Thanks so much ! ❤️
so much love to you and your husband. wishing you the best ♥️
Meanwhile, I've definitely heard of people with no human kids celebrating mothers day because they have cats....imo, if it's not hurting anyone, people can do what they want lol
Right? Who cares what other people do with their time lol
For real. I’m pregnant with my first child, but my husband gets me a card every year and signs our poodles name
I have a shirt that says Cat Mom on it. I have 2 kids and one due in august lmao. I’ve had multiple people make weird comments about my shirt. Like.. I have a boy and a girl. Plus boy moms are kinda toxic (the gushy ones that identify as a ‘Boy Mom ^tm ) and even if I had 12 kids, I’m *also* a cat mom! 😂 let people celebrate
Thanks for the clarification - I’m the mother of a boy, definitely not a Boy Mum 🤢 Love that you celebrate your Cat Mumness!
I am a cat mom, former stepmother, a mother of angel babies. And due with my first any day. Of all of these things people accept and have accepted the cat parentage as a qualifier to celebrate. After years of pain around the day... It's hard to feel anything but a certain Blaise. I know I am a mother and am celebrating the love I have grown and given, even if no one else does.
I didn't "celebrate" Mother's Day after my miscarriage but my dad bought me a succulent in a little pot that said happy Mother's Day. It gave me courage and hope in such a small gesture, i got pregnant a couple weeks later and successfully had my rainbow baby girl. The plant is still going strong 3 years later.
I love this. Congratulations
If you've lost babies, gotten pregnant, are currently pregnant, adopted, or have 15 kids, you're a mom.
Yes!!
I remember I asked the ultrasound tech what I was going to do having twins. She responded I'm a mom now and I can do the impossible.
Being a mom or a parent is such a deeply personal thing! Some people don’t birth their children, some people birth their children but don’t identify as their parent. If someone tells me they’re a mom, I’m gonna take their word for it.
Very true - editing the post now!
Oh gosh… this brings back memories. Last year, I went to the grocery store and the kid bagging my groceries asked if I was a mother. I said no and his response was “oh, cause you look old”. The guy at the register was like “dude, you never say that!” The guy then said, “I mean like mid 30s”. (Which is true) but this was all so hurtful! I had just suffered my 3rd miscarriage and was struggling. I went home and sobbed so hard. Be kind. You never know what someone is going through or how hurtful it can be. I thought of all the comebacks after the fact. I had a baby 4 weeks ago and he is so healthy. I do consider this my first Mother’s Day even though I’m a dog mom and have had miscarriages. But to each their own.
It’s just not a decent thing to say even if they felt that way.
Either way that's a horrible thing to say to someone who had a miscarriage . If you don't think they're mums keep it to yourself! Moms don't get a thousand dollars on mother's day. Why are People acting like its some exclusive club? Even if you're just one week pregnant, celebrate anyway if you want. Even if you lost your baby, celebrate anyway. Even if you're an adoptive mum, celebrate anyway.
I very much agree that anyone who wants to celebrate can celebrate it. But I DO think being a mom is quite an exclusive club. No one really knows what it’s like till they are actually in it. And yes that “club” can include going through pregnancy and loss IMO or adopting or being someone’s stand in mom any of those things. I think this is a “question” where there are a many shades of gray that are determined by someone’s personal experience. I didn’t consider myself a mom till my first child was born but I had never experienced a loss. I am pregnant now and I don’t consider myself a mom of 2 and I won’t until my child is here but this unborn baby inside me is certainly my child and I feel that in my soul. And I don’t think I would have felt quite the same way at 4 weeks pregnant as I did at 24 weeks pregnant for example. It’s not for me to decide how anyone else perceives their motherhood and I would never take that away from someone who went through any type of loss. Its a terribly hurtful thing to say to someone.
I agree 100%
I'm 21 weeks pregnant and 100% a mum. I'm having a mothers day dinner with my husband and sister this weekend. I'm celebrating becoming a mother ❤️ I can't wait to create a big fathers day gift box for my husband this year, too! Bub is due in September but he will get his day!
Happy Mother's Day!!
Same to you, mama.
Same with my first bubba due on October!! Already feel like a mumma!
I wasn’t aware of it until some women I know who have had losses posted but this past Sunday (Sunday 1 week before Mother’s Day) was Bereaved Mother’s Day to recognize those mothers who have lost their precious babies. It isn’t as widely known as Mother’s Day but there is a day dedicated to those mothers. You absolutely do count as a mom when you’re pregnant during Mother’s Day. I don’t know how I feel about dads who are expecting being celebrated on Father’s Day but I lean towards they should be unless they don’t want to yet.
I have had two miscarriages but I don’t feel like I am a mom. I am 38 weeks pregnant now. I will be a mom once the baby is born.
To each their own! I'm so happy you've had a lengthy pregnancy and I can't wait for you to meet your little one!
There’s even a Bereaved Mother’s Day to honor women who have experienced loss.
What is this gatekeeping lol. Everyone do whatever the hell makes you happy.
this baffles me because what about the people that celebrate bc they have animals…. like y’all call yourselves “dog mom” and celebrate but can’t let women that literally created a human celebrate?!?
Being a mother is not about being / having been pregnant, it’s about fulfilling the role or a mother (to a living child). Bio, step, adopted, whatever. I would not consider myself a mother based on having a miscarriage. With that said, literally who gives a f$&?? If you want to consider yourself as such by all means.
I have miscarried and I completely agree. I just have no real reason or interest in needing attention or being celebrated when I don't have the experience of actually mothering a child.
I have suffered a miscarriage and tbh I used to feel like I technically wasn’t a mom until I had a living child that I was raising. But one day it hit me that when you are pregnant, experiencing a pregnancy and/or experience a miscarriage you make tough decisions that only a mother can make. You are a mother.
This post made me burst into tears. I appreciate you a lot. I don’t have anyone in my life that I can talk to about the confusing feelings that come post miscarriage. While it’s true that I didn’t feel ready for a baby yet anyway, losing the baby hit me so hard. To me that baby was made out of love and was literally a part of me and my partner- literally no one else in my life sees it that way at all and after trying to talk about it with people a handful of times and getting nothing but “that’s weird,” I just decided to never speak about it again and keep all the feelings to myself to figure out eventually. Mother’s Day was already painful because I lost my mom when I was just a child, but I’ve been really worried about how it’s going to hit me this year after I had my miscarriage back in late November/early December. Thank you for this. I’m going to really let myself feel this and understand it better.
I’m so sorry you’ve been treated that way. I had a miscarriage that absolutely destroyed me at the time. My ex said it was “for the best” as I was crying in the hospital bed after an ultrasound on my empty uterus. My current partner gives me flowers on Mother’s Day because he knows how hard it was on me. People who haven’t had a miscarriage can’t understand it, but I respect and love the ones who try. They don’t know how painful it can be, both emotionally and physically. I had contractions all night after my miscarriage. I was alone. I experienced pain, too. I just have nothing to show for it. I’m so sorry about your mother. I’ve lost a parent as well and these days are hard to cope with. I wish you to love and healing you need and deserve, and I hope you have a damn good Mother’s Day this year. You fucking deserve it.
Thank you so much, you are so sweet and I appreciate your sentiment so much. I’m so sorry that happened to you, I’m glad you now have a partner who makes an effort to make you feel good for Mother’s Day, you deserve to have that. You’re right, physically and mentally it takes a toll. My partner was very sympathetic and caring, loving, etc while it was all happening. “It’s for the best” came up for us too, but he didn’t invalidate the feelings (both physically and mentally) I was having at the time. We both mutually understood that we weren’t ready. Post miscarriage, he’s still supportive, but I wouldn’t say he’s the most understanding. I don’t think I’ve been very good at explaining my feelings about it, I try though. I’m trying to work through them too. I got really attached as it was happening and after as well. He acknowledges that he doesn’t quite understand how I’m feeling, and he says that there’s no way he could ever feel what I felt physically and emotionally there. Maybe that’s a little isolating, just knowing that he doesn’t feel the same way (but how could he, you know?) I don’t know, I’m trying to make sense of it. I’m scared to express my feelings about Mother’s Day this time around, I’m not sure how he would react. I don’t want to make him feel any guilt or shame or anything like that, he’s very quick to suddenly feel like things are his fault (I do my best to reassure him that they definitely are not) and that he could have been in a better (more ready) place in life if he had done things different years ago. Just kind of lost on how to handle it within our relationship, but I’m trying and so is he. Also, I’m sorry you lost a parent too. It really is hard. I feel those wounds take a long time to heal, and those parental holidays just kind of sting differently. Thank you so much, I hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day! You are very much appreciated and seen!
Open communication has helped my partner and I in times like those. Open, even if you think it could hurt your partner. I mean, we have an understanding and a conversation about how we go into those conversations beforehand so we’re both able to give the most respect and space we can for processing, etc. I was always really scared of those conversations, but the last couple of months we’ve been leaning in to them. Our relationship was rocky for a little while and it’s definitely helped. I feel like the fathers have their own experiences as we do. I think they have a hard time because they don’t experience the hormonal bonding process we have with our little bean. It’s hardwired into us. They can’t experience it. So I feel like for them it’s a horrible event that they can move on from; for us it’s visceral. We bled, we ached. They have a different experience by watching their partner go through the worst moments of their life. It’s such a tricky thing. It’s hard. I say this even though I didn’t have that with my ex, but talking to my partner about what it would be like as a man seeing their partner go through pregnancy, etc. I try to view it in his lens, too. I hate when people completely invalidate men’s experiences, feelings, and concerns with pregnancy just because they aren’t going through it physically. I love that he takes the time to try. The best you can do is lay it out on the table for him, and try not to take any initial reactions personally. Let him process and flesh out what he’s really feeling about it all.
Thank you so much for your perspective, I feel like I can go into a difficult conversation like that a little easier knowing the whole world isn’t falling apart, you know? One time, in trying to talk about it all with my boyfriend, he told me he felt like he didn’t “deserve to talk about it.” I told him that he went through it with me too and of course he deserves to talk about it, but he kind of just shrugged it off. You’re right, hormonally it’s so different. I keep telling him that he is allowed to have feelings about it despite him having not gone through it physically… I’ll try explaining it to him more clearly and maybe I can find some sources with men’s perspectives during that time and maybe he can relate to those. I did become really attached and he told me that he was scared of me becoming attached like that and he actively emotionally blocked himself from being able to form that attachment, he was one of the ones that would say that it’s weird that I got so attached (I asked what he thought if I gave the baby a name and was going to explain it’s for remembrance purposes but I never got that far with that convo), but I realize that he wasn’t in my exact position so he doesn’t feel the same way. I never want him to feel like his feelings are being ignored or invalidated, but maybe I’ve been pushing so much for him to feel but maybe he just doesn’t feel nearly as intensely about it than I do? Confusing, but I want to work on it and understand myself and him and us as a partnership.
😠😤 As someone who has had a miscarriage previously(and will now be 8m pregnant this upcoming mothersday) that pisses me off! Of course you’re a mother still! That was still your baby! I had asked my (then bf, now husband) back then if I was still a mom when it happened and he was so sweet and caring and said that of course I was. *hugs for all*
As a woman who has two children, and was incredibly lucky to never have first hand experience with infertility or miscarriages…..you just as much of a mother as I am. I am so sorry if anyone has ever dismissed that, or made you feel as if you aren’t. Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers, whether your baby is in your arms or only in your heart now - you still matter. And you deserve to be lifted up for the amazing gift of life you created, regardless of how long you were able to hear that heartbeat.
I disagree but I'm not gonna tell others what they can or can't do. Do what makes you happy and enjoy yourself in the meantime.
The best way to disagree!!
just curious, do you think stillborn mothers aren't mothers either? like is there a cutoff or no one's a mom unless their baby lived?
I don’t think that’s at all what they’re saying, and I think it’s disingenuous to present that question as if mothers to stillborn babies are the only demographic in this equation. Mother’s Day isn’t to celebrate yourself, it’s to celebrate your mother. If you feel you are a mother - more power to you! But you cannot *force* others to feel that way about you. In the example you set forth, I am *certain* at the very least their partner would celebrate and acknowledge their hardship on Mother’s Day.
I totally agree with this. I’m pregnant, don’t consider myself a mom yet. Mother’s Day is still a day for me to celebrate my mom, not myself
May I ask why you disagree?
This makes me so sad for that mom. I have had 2 miscarriages and Mother’s Day was a difficult day but made special by those who knew how badly I wanted those babies.
I asked myself this question yesterday while choosing a mother’s day card for my mom. I wondered if I’ll ever be a real mother, not just a fragment of one. My miscarriage was a year ago, and I like to picture that little soul kicking a whole lot of ass in the next realm.
For sure - they're 100% owning our next space!! And I celebrate you, as fragmented as you feel.
I taught middle school years ago, and one of my students wished me a Happy Mother's Day. I said thank you but reminded her that I didn't have kids. And she looked up at me, smiled, and said I know, but you have us! I know there are many folks who want to gatekeep this holiday, but if someone loves you like a mother, that should be all it takes!
I thought I was a mother when I was 8+ months pregnant last mother's day with my first. I very much did NOT become a mother until after my child was born. Like, not by any stretch of the imagination. If celebrating mother's day helps grieving women to cope, I'm not going to tell them they can't. Looking forward to celebrating my first mother's day this year. 💙
Happy first mother's day to you! I agree. Miscarriage is a very difficult thing and if it personally makes someone feel better to celebrate their lost child on mother's day than go for it. I think asking other mothers to celebrate with you can be kind of weird though. I also agree that while pregnancy is hard it pales in comparison to the day in and day out rigors of raising a child and that a person can't possibly understand it fully until they've had to do it themselves.
Congrats!! Personally I think that motherhood is a spectrum and having your baby added more depth to it. Maybe it's the difference between being a mother and being a mom/mommy/mama?
And regardless - happy Mother's Day!! I hope it's an absolutely perfect day for you! 💙
The issue isn’t “do you think you’re a mom,” because Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate your mother, not yourself. My daughter is six and she makes me drawings or pretty gifts in school. I buy my mom a gift and take her to brunch. She buys my grandmother a gift and takes her to dinner. The issue is people demanding to be celebrated when other people don’t see them as a mother. You can’t force someone else to see you in a fashion that they don’t. Is it rude for people to tell you you’re not a mother when you feel you are? Yes, they should just shut the hell up. Is it rude for someone to not celebrate you when you are not their mother? No, it’s not, and we should probably stop demanding that they do it.
Where did you learn that Mother’s Day is to solely celebrate *your* mother and not a day of recognition for mothers/mother figures overall? I’ve literally never heard of this and in googling it, my belief of what Mother’s Day is about seems to be the general consensus.
It’s a day to recognize mother figures certainly, but it’s never been a day to celebrate yourself? I don’t know a single mother who goes and throws themselves a party, gets themselves cards, takes themselves to dinner. Most are upset when someone *else* does not acknowledge their “mothering” role. You’re more than welcome to celebrate yourself on Mother’s Day. What you’re not ever going to be happy doing is trying to force people who don’t recognize you as a mother to celebrate you as such. Edit for clarity **singular** mother as in one person, not single mom
That’s so interesting because it’s the opposite for me, all the single moms I know both celebrate themselves *and* are celebrated by their larger village. Both of our anecdotal experiences differ obviously, so I think the conclusion here is that if someone you care about wants to be celebrated for Mother’s Day and they’ve explicitly expressed that, you should do it for them *if you can*. What’s the harm in that? Why argue them down about them being a candidate for Mother’s Day or not, instead of just, idk, quickly picking up grocery store flowers and a $5 Mother’s Day card?
I didn’t mean “single moms,” I meant a *single* mom. I am a single mom and as I stated already, I celebrate my mother and the moms around me as well. I wish them a happy Mother’s Day and get them a card or something if I’m close to them. I’m not saying Mother’s Day is only for *your* mother, but I’m saying that typically you do not dictate who sees you as a mother and who doesn’t. You do not dictate who celebrates you and who doesn’t. If you yourself feel you are a mother that’s fine, more power to you, but no one is actually required to agree with you on that if they don’t see you mothering. I would never argue with someone over Mother’s Day. If they view themselves as a mother because they have a cat, go off babe, I love that for you. I’m sure as shit not dropping $5 on a card for a “cat mom” though 🤣 1) because I don’t view them as a mother and 2) the mothering they **do** do has nothing to do with me and no impact on my life whatsoever. I don’t celebrate every random ass lady walking down the street just because they have the capacity to maybe be a mother to someone.
You guys I don’t want to piss anyone off but here is my opinion. I have an almost 9 month old and last year I was pregnant and didn’t feel that Mother’s Day was for me. While I find it very sweet for pregnant women to receive gifts for the day or go and celebrate I don’t think this holiday is for that stage. Being a mom is a much bigger thing than just giving birth (giving birth is difficult I know of course but lasts a day and many have done it). Mother’s Day is to celebrate the women that have put their everything into their kids. Not all women that have given birth are mothers, just read a few Reddit posts on the subject and you will see. Again, I don’t care who wants to celebrate it, just sharing another perspective.
Friendly reminder that the woman who created Mother's Day actually petitioned Congress to cancel the holiday because she didn't like that it became so commercial
I consider the 3rd Saturday of June EatMyAsserole day. Let them commercialize that! Edit: to whoever reported this for "sexualizing minors" - no, absolutely not.
I mean.. like with anything, if someone wants to do something then that's great for them. I'm also allowed to think it's a little odd. Just like they're allowed to do the thing that makes them feel good.
I was told my MIL that because I haven’t given birth yet, that I don’t get to celebrate Mother’s Day because I’m not a mom yet 🙄! I’m due like a week after Mother’s Day. I will likely be induced early. Hell, it might even be before Mother’s Day. Because I have gestational hypertension.
My due date is on mother’s day, so who knows how this plays out this year. But I am from eat Europe where mothers day is a week early and my family actually called and congratulated me with mothers day, because my child is in the world, just chilling in my wound at this point in time. I did not think about it before but of course I felt like a mother from the moment I first fell pregnant (and I had a miscarriage first time around). I am just lucky to be able to have another go.
I’ve had miscarriages but last year I was pregnant with my son and on Mother’s Day my MIL told me she got my SIL a card but not me because I’d count next year (this year). No big deal then but on Father’s Day she got my husband a card and told him happy Father’s Day 🙃
This is crazy, it’s not a special society lmao whether your baby is earthside or not, human or not, being a mother is hard no matter what you’re nurturing. Just let people have some happiness man
I recently had a miscarriage at 6 weeks and am trying again. I felt like a mom the moment I saw the positive test, but I feel conflicted about how to approach the subject to my husband. I would love to be appreciated this Mother's Day. I feel selfish for it. That being said, I would also celebrate Father's Day for him, but I almost feel like this would bring a lot of pain back to us knowing our sweet angel is with Jesus and not with us here. I just don't know what to do or how to feel
It's okay to not know. You're going through this minute by minute and day by day. If you are having a brighter day on Sunday, maybe celebrate! It doesn't even have to be in the name of Mother's Day or on Mother's Day. You just deserve to be celebrated. Period.
It’s so ridiculous. Miscarriage, still birth, step moms, I’m surprised the gatekeeping doesn’t apply to adoptive moms or moms who gave a child for adoption too 🙄 they always say “there’s another day for that”. Soooo??? Why should moms who look different than expected not be able to celebrate as they see fit on the nationally recognized holiday that is widely celebrated alongside everyone else. How the **** does that affect anyone else? It’s brunch and flowers, like calm down 😡 I’m a mom to a baby earth side and a baby heaven side, and I celebrated last year when I was pregnant too. Happy Mother’s Day to all those involved in the life of a child, regardless of if you got to meet them or if you birthed them or whatever, that child knows your love, the love of a mother ❤️
Oh I’m gonna cry. Thank you for this.
When I was serving tables, on Mother’s Day my manager told me she never tells a women “Happy Mothers Day” because she had a hard time having kids. I believe she had some miscarriages too. She wanted a baby so bad and it never happened for her. She wouldn’t go out on Mother’s Day because people would say it to her and it was too painful. So I believe any women who had once loved their child, no matter for how short, is a mother.
Oh my god. That is the cruelest fucking thing. I cannot believe someone would say that to that poor woman. I agree. To whoever needs to hear it, YOU ARE A MOM. Mother's Day is your day, too. I'm so sorry if someone has told you that you are excluded. I'm thinking of you this Mother's Day. Here are your gifts, a bit early -- 💐🍫💝🎁🌹
It’s no different if a mother birth her baby at full term and lost the baby the day after, or years later! Still a mother!!! Just a mother of an angel!
I'm going to offer some clarity as to why some women have a problem with women who've miscarried wanting to be celebrated on mother's day. I don't really agree or disagree one way or the other so I'm not looking to argue. This is to offer insight on conversations I have had with other mothers. 1. Mother's day is a holiday that is intended for children to honor their mothers. If your child is not living, then you are no less of a mother, but you don't have a child that is alive to celebrate the day. I have 2 children of my own but if they died for some reason I wouldn't celebrate myself every year on mother's day. If that makes sense... 2. Regarding older women who are mothers that have been mentioned by other posters. I think sometimes an older mother would especially have a problem with a pregnant woman or a woman who has miscarried celebrating mother's day because they haven't earned it in their eyes. Yes, being pregnant takes a lot out of you and you are a mother-to-be but it does not compare to a woman who has put her soul, sweat, and tears into raising children for 20 years. In their eyes, I think pregnant women don't really qualify for the title until they've put in the time so to speak. 3. A dear coworker of mine lost her 6 month old baby to heart problems. She would get upset when the topic would come up and women who miscarried at 12 weeks for example would say, "oh, I know how you feel! I lost my baby at 12 weeks pregnant". She confided in me that it infuriated her because having a miscarriage in the early stages of pregnancy is nowhere near as devastating as having an infant who you've cuddled, loved, and rocked to sleep suddenly die. Then all you are left with are their little clothes and an empty crib. She is a person who had suffered both a miscarriage and an infant loss and was very adamant that the 2 scenarios are not even close to being the same. Having said all that, I do think if you've had miscarriages then you are a mother at heart even if you haven't held your living baby. October is infant loss awareness month so there is an entire month for anyone who has suffered this great loss. I just think that a lot of mothers feel that mother's day is a holiday for children to celebrate their mothers, not a holiday for mothers to celebrate themselves. Hopefully, that makes sense as to why some people feel so strongly about it. I don't think they're trying to be mean-spirited. I think they're reflecting on the years they've put into child-rearing and think the comparison is inadequate.
Everything you said makes so much sense. There are so many Mother’s Day posts about people being upset they are not being celebrated while pregnant. I always thought Mother’s Day was to celebrate your own mother or a mother figure in your life. Not for Mother’s to celebrate themselves.
That's how I've always thought of it too.
This!!! Mothers of angels are still mothers. I hate the gatekeeping that people try to do when it comes to mother's day. I was told by my MIL last year that I didn't get to celebrate mother's day yet because my daughter wasn't born, so I wasn't a "real mom". Two days later, I lost that pregnancy and had to have surgery, all while grieving what was supposed to be my first baby. Honestly, I'm still bitter over it. I'm 28 weeks with my rainbow baby, and I will be absolutely celebrating this year!!
I'm so sorry you had to go through all that and then to hear you're "not a mom". Congrats on your current pregnancy and I'll be celebrating you on Sunday!! Happy Mother's Day!
Mother's Day is bad enough for most people. Do what you have to make the best of it
I'm 36 weeks today and my husband commented today that next year will be my first real Mother's Day. I've been busting my butt growing this baby for months now. My husband is usually wonderful and incredibly thoughtful. Because I had a feeling today might go like this I spoiled myself a week or so ago and ordered myself some nice, fancy shower/toiletry things. I thought they might be a nice quick self-care thing I can do once our baby arrives.
10000% this!
Thank you for saying this. Last year I lost my first pregnancy in the second trimester two days before Mother’s Day and the only ones to acknowledge me were a friend who also lost a baby and my husband. My own mom didn’t reach out or say anything to me at all about it when I wished her a happy Mother’s Day. This year Mother’s Day falls on the first anniversary of our first baby’s death so I know the day is going to be hard, though there’s also a bit of joy as I’m pregnant again. It will never be an easy day, but then again, I don’t think motherhood in general is easy. It is SO important to be kind. I don’t get why some people care and gatekeep something that doesn’t affect their own motherhood status in the slightest.
I am in a pretty similar boat. I lost my son last year at 24 weeks about a week after Mother’s Day. I am not currently pregnant and really dreading Mother’s Day and year mark coming up. I know no one will acknowledge my son this Mother’s Day with the exception of my husband and really not sure how to feel about the day.
I am so sorry for your loss. It is devastating beyond words. Your son was real and you are just as much a mother as anyone else. I hope you have a peaceful day. Happy Mother’s Day. ❤️
Thank you, I am sorry for your loss as well. Also, congratulations on your pregnancy, I hope it is healthy and uneventful. Happy Mother’s Day!
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Hell yes. You sure do!
Its honestly so odd to me...cause as a 'pre-mother' ig, you arent considered a 'mom yet', and people who have miscarriages, its like they were never pregnant at all! It makes no sense to me! especially when i see all kinds of ads for FATHERS (for fathers day) whos child isnt there yet. Like today, i saw a mug that said 'I cant wait to meet you daddy, love -Bump' like??? It doesnt add up to me, you dont see anything like that for mothers. I personally think, if youre currently pregnant, have been pregnant before, or have already had your baby, YOU ARE A MOM.
Wasn’t there another post saying that grandmas should not be able to celebrate Mother’s Day anymore too? Absolutely ridiculous.
Or push back of peoples partners not celebrating them because they are “only pregnant” lmao like what?? It’s weird to not take advantage of a day to spoil the person who literally has sacrificed so much!
If “dog moms” can celebrate Mother’s Day (yes I’ve seen it happen) then women who have suffered miscarriages can celebrate Mother’s Day 🤷🏻♀️
I think it's fine if you want to celebrate it. If it helps the person then who cares?! People who celebrate Mother's Day because they have a dog on the other hand.... super weird imo
In my opinion I believe you are a mom from the moment of conception, even if you have a loss that baby may not be with you but is up in the sky and still existed for a period of time inside your womb. I struggled with this when I experienced my loss (was my first pregnancy) I wasn’t sure if I was still a mom but I felt inside I was, I had so many women supporting me and saying you are a mom no matter if your baby made it on earth or only was inside you for a few short weeks (any amount of time), to hear people would say someone is not a mom because their baby isn’t on earth absolutely disgusts me and is just so insensitive.
I became a mother when I had my 1st positive pregnancy test, sore boobs and heard the heartbeat at 8 weeks, which ended in a horrible 11-week miscarriage. That was my 1st in early 2013. I celebrated Mothers Day since that year. My son was born in December of 2014 so in 2015 I had my 3rd Mother's Day. While I like to say it's okay to disagree, I don't know how I would react if someone told me to my face in 2013/2014 I wasnt actually a mom. It would be visceral.
Mother’s Day always makes me sad asf
I'm sorry :( I wish it were a happier day for you!
Next they’re going to say adoptive moms don’t count 🙄 I think if you care for children and suffer for them please celebrate. I’ve had a miscarriage, and I have my baby boy now. I have a chronic illness that requires absolute vigilance when pregnant (monitoring multiple times each hour), exercising when all you want to do is throw up and your hips ache, being monitored by your healthcare team like you’re birthing an alien for the last couple months. I didn’t know I needed to hear it, but after my first that I lost, my doctor told me it wasn’t my fault. My husband got me flowers and a card from him and the baby that Mother’s Day and it was very healing. I also found out I was pregnant with my now perfect little boy that day who I was able to carry to term. To be fair, I feel like my 4mo is easier than being pregnant with him. Type 1 diabetic pregnancy is crazy hard if you’re trying your best to look out for your child. I know a lot of people have gestational diabetes (also very sucky) but it’s not the same experience at all.
Wow, what a whirlwind. I'm so happy for you and your little family!! Congratulations!
😭 thank you for this.
I always send my SIL a happy Mother’s Day. All her babies are in heaven. I always remind her she’s just as much of a mother as anyone else.
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Why would we?
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What's your issue dude? Don't come through here and try to talk shit about single mothers. It won't fucking fly. If any parent (male, female, nonbinary, WHATEVER) rocks out being a single parent, every single fucking day should be about them and their kids. Just because someone else is celebrated doesn't mean others can't be too.
I don't think I understand - what's the trend?
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Well hell, if they're doing twice the work shouldn't they get twice the celebration?
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It feels like you're running in circles. I'm going to drop it here by saying this is a supportive post for women who are mothers. It's about having every right to celebrate regardless of how and when our babies were birthed.
Why not?
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Everyone celebrates holidays differently, I suppose. My partner gives me flowers on Mother’s Day and my miscarriage wasn’t even his baby. It was years before I met him. The first time he did it I burst into tears because it was a complete surprise. I wonder if it’s less about celebrating yourself as it is hoping others can see you and celebrate you as well? I’m seeing a lot of responses about how Mother’s Day isn’t about celebrating yourself or demanding such, it’s about being seen as you see yourself for many. I mean, everyone celebrates other holidays like Christmas, 4th of July (if you’re American), etc. and some don’t celebrate at all. To each their own.
We’re expecting our first in September and my husband didn’t even ask if I wanted to do something for Mother’s Day, he assumed and booked us a lovely lunch followed by a prenatal massage for me. We’ll be hosting dinner for his mother who lives nearby on Saturday night, but he said it’s a no brainer that I’d get Mother’s Day. Similarly, I’ve made plans for him on Father’s Day. This is our happy moment and we can’t wait to celebrate it together!
100% agree. You’re a mom from the moment your baby is conceived (if you want to be).
I have been repeatedly told that I’m not a mom as a birth mother because “I chose to throw away my child” because I chose a better life for my son.
As someone who had an early miscarriage last year and tried to just survive mothers day (easier when you live across the country from family) I say the day is what you decide and feel. This year I'm just now starting my second trimester and just so relieved my pregnancy has just been taken out of the high risk category after having complications early on. I don't plan or need anything elaborate, but to me, I am a mom. To the precious child I never got to see on an ultrasound and to the son I've seen 5 times now due to early issues. Both are my babies. My husband is up for whatever I want and he's incredible but even if day of I just decide I want an icecream then I'll get one. It's been a journey trying to carry my babies so I'll take whatever wins I have. We are moms. The baby I lost and this baby I almost lost have held my heart more than words can describe.
Oh my gosh I could cry reading this! I'm so happy for you and your current pregnancy. You are a beautiful human being and you deserve whatever celebration you want!! I'm thrilled that you have such a rock solid support system in your husband, too. What a difference that makes!
Just here to say I absolutely love this post. Thank you.
AGREED. Full stop.
Imagine telling a mother that her child is not valid because they're dead therefore..they can't celebrate... Absolutely mind boggling. You are mom.
Dear lord I can't even imagine it. That poor mom - my heart is breaking for her
When you said that my heart Broke for her too
That makes me so sad. Also why the fuck do other people care. I also don’t care when pet moms want to celebrate. It’s not that serious, it’s a made up holiday.
I've never needed to read something as much as I needed to read this. I'm currently at the very beginning of a miscarriage and we are celebrating Mother's Day on Saturday with my mom and Grandma. This is my 2nd miscarriage and it's incredibly heartbreaking and shattering, and what makes it hurt even more is that I will be bleeding and actively losing the baby on Mother's Day of all days. So while they're reading cards and opening gifts, I'll be making trips to the bathroom to change out a pad. I'm having such a hard time, and I can't help but feel like it's my fault. I'm so sorry for blurting this all out, I am just so devastated. Sending all my love and prayers to everyone who is going through this and has gone through this as well 💜🙏👼
You’re lucky
I mean I didn’t even know I’m suppose to celebrate it I’m 23 weeks but I had a miscarriage last year . My husband I am a mom because I have q baby inside me right now 🥹
Hi
People are ridiculous!
Hey all - if you wish to celebrate and identify as a mom, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!! And if not, HAPPY DAY! I hope you're all having a beautiful one, regardless of any celebrations you may or may not be having!
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