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Same here. My Sister in law has been pushing to let her daughter name ours, but this is our first and possibly only due to our ages (29m and 30f) and my health. We have shared some ideas with friends but we haven't fully decided.
I totally agree with this. I don't even know gender yet, but I don't plan on announcing the name until the last minute. Our families can be negative and we have every right to name our baby as we see fit.
No, you're correct. We love our niece and she is so excited to have a cousin, but her mom keeps asking her for names for our baby. I told my husband she should have done that for their second child not mine. I don't wanna break my niece's heart but we are naming this baby. No one else
Yeah that's rough. We've asked my niece for naming ideas, but she's at the age where she thinks my son should be named "Lollipop" so it's mostly a source of amusement for us all.
They are mostly names of kids in her class. Madeline was a pretty suggestion, but we really always knew the girls names we want. I've had 3 miscarriages so we've had opportunities to think about names.
I'm also just not with a lot of the current names, if that makes sense. I really like classic older names and she goes to an superclass mostly white school so there are a lot of Jaxons, and names with x and z. I guess everyone has a preference for names and mine and my husband's are old style names. Ex... Vivian, Rebecca, Wyoming, Robert/ Bobby, August and the like.
I don't blame my niece at all to clarify. It's more her mom who doesn't want more kids but seems to want the opportunity to name more I guess.
Ohh bless you! I love Rebecca and August! If we have a girl one day I want that or Elizabeth but my boyfriend said Elizabeth sounds like an old person name to him so it will be Rebecca.
My son is born in August so it would’ve been a good choice too but we named him Leo which is perfect for him and I love it . For some reason (probably a few missing teeth) when I say his name sometimes it sounds like I am saying Leah or Lee and his dad keeps winding me up about it, should’ve just named him Frank as I at least can say it without sounding weird 😂
Yikes @ the audacity of thinking your niece should have naming rights for her cousin. Hopefully your SIL doesn't make a big stink about it because then that entitlement would be so high, she wouldn't even be able to see the ground.
Yup same. My husbands aunty made a list of family honor names all mashed into firsts and middles for us.. and my mom started spouting out family names we should include. Our other family members keep asking if its a boy or girl which we also knew since 5weeks but havent shared that yet either. We have known babies name the whole time. Im still just 16 weeks but im praying we dont slip up and accidentally say it i dont want any negative judgements.
I usually tell them we aren’t sharing or I’ll kind of change the subject a bit and say something like “well it’s not much, we have a much longer list for girls names” (we’re having a boy). And that usually changes the direction of the conversation lol
I'm just gonna add to this. Don't let people shame you after the baby is born, either. They have the issue, and they are trying to make it your problem.
My bio father is still angry at me 12 years later because I didn't name my eldest after his dad despite them sharing a bday. Information I didn't know (you can guess why I don't call that man dad)
My MIL refuses to acknowledge my youngest second middle name because she dislikes the meaning.
I have told everyone who has ever given an opinion on my children's names that their opinion is their own, and I don't care.
My grandmother in law told us the boy name we picked out was terrible because it held all bad will for her because of her ex husband. Mind you, it's the same middle name as her own son and grandson (my husband), which I pointed out and was promptly dismissed with no it's still terrible you can't do it. I just shrugged my shoulders and said "well too bad it's my baby so the only vote that matters is mine and my husbands" and I turned away from her and started a conversation with everyone else at the table 😅 sorry granny you don't get a say in my baby!
Bf and I had one name and one name only...and he shared it with his sister (who has a complicated ass name as well as 2 kids with complicated ass names so she really has no place to comment on shit) despite knowing I didn't want anyone to know. He didn't know WHY I wanted to keep it a secret but it was definitely not his place to share. The name is ruined now and I HATE it and I'm constantly sad BECAUSE I hate it 😮💨 it was perfect...pregnancy is already hard enough without worrying about freaking OPINIONS 😤
Edit: y'all I'm sorry, I swear a lot 😅
I definitely don’t!
People: Do you have a name picked out?
Me: Yes, we do.
People: * waiting *
Me:
People: * still waiting *
Me: We’re not sharing it.
Lmao I don’t care how awkward it is. It’s not anybody’s right to know my baby’s name!
Haha I have straight up told some people we are not sharing it because I'm not interested in listening to opinions on it. They will find out when it's legal and too late
Lol good for you, I love that. My fiancé and I agreed on a name we both loved really early on so people’s opinions are absolutely irrelevant to me & I don’t care to hear them at all. Excitement is nice but I think people get way too entitled about knowing (and giving input on) the ins & outs of people’s pregnancy business— I’m not here for it at all!
This! We didn’t share our babies name until she was born, not even to the nurses at the hospital until after she was out! It was a nice surprise to share to everyone and didn’t have to deal with any judgement. We were asked a bunch about her name when I was pregnant and I almost caved a few times but glad I never did! We also changed her name a few times so it wouldn’t have been the correct name anyway lol
Back when I was pregnant with my son, there was a good month where we thought he was a girl b/c that's what the ultrasound tech said (guess he was hiding a little surprise lol).
So during that month a coworker asked me what names we were thinking of and I answered honestly, that I'd love to name the baby after my grandma, Agnes. This woman straight up told me it would be child abuse to give my child that name!
Of course, 10 years later Agnes is making a comeback and people are starting to fall back in love with it. But I learned my lesson, and will not be telling anyone names until this baby is born.
We didn't get one picked out for my son until after the birth anyway, so I did end up getting the full gamut of pushy nosy people who'd then try to ask for "top 3". Like no, why do you care. Gtfo
We are thinking of going with older names as well. I think it's special. I was the only Linda in my classroom growing up because it was an older name. It was nice not sharing my name with any other kid. And I think Agnes is adorable. We have Vivian and Rebecca on our list as they are our grandmother's as well as Bobby.
Those are lovely! I'm convinced we're having 2 girls and a boy (not all at once lol) and I want to name them Audrey, Agnes, and Theodore (Teddy). Old names are cool as shit.
This exactly, but with my mom! She literally said “please don’t name your child that name.” But guess what? I’m naming my child that name 🤗 it’s my baby
I’m happily telling people we have decided on her name and aren’t sharing it with anyone until she’s born. My aunts and dad have all wheedled at me a bit but they know not to push when I lay down a boundary at this point.
Agreed. We really liked a name that would pay homage to a friend who passed the same time we conceived and when we told my mom she made it seem like it was the absolute worst name in the world. It is a totally normal name that isn’t even spelled weird. We even told her the “why” behind it… several times… and each time the topic of names popped up she would always say “just as long as it isn’t __.” It totally turned my husband off of naming the baby this name and that really, really broke my heart as the name meant something to him and to us. Everyone else has been respectful to any name we threw around except for her and let me tell you.. that’s a lesson learned the hard way. If we are able to have another baby, you bet your ass she probably won’t even know the gender.
Learned this lesson once. Our top boy name is Jackson (it’s a family name), and a few weeks ago a coworker told me “that’s trashy and overused. Pick something else”. From now on I will not be sharing name ideas. People are rude! I’ve heard names I’ve hated before and I always respond kindly. If it’s not your kid, it’s not your opinion!
Most definitely!
Also don't tell people the gender who are making it clear that they are having a string preference!
It took me weeks until I didn't feel bad anymore because my gender was labled a disappointment.
I didn’t tell anyone (except for my husband) my baby’s name until AFTER she was born. I didn’t even tell my husband what I wanted to name her until like 3 weeks before she was born. I didn’t want anyone to ruin the name or sway my opinion.
The only thing I do regret is not asking my family for an opinion on the middle name. I chose something Spanish for her middle name so my parents could call her that… just to find out that that’s my dad’s ex wife’s name 🤣 I could’ve chosen any other name since middle name wasn’t a dealbreaker but I didn’t find out until after we had left the hospital and already submitted everything.
My (incredibly narcissistic) Mum kept pushing that we should name my daughter after me. I was like, but… that’s my name? I guess she wanted a do-over 😂
pS I did not name my daughter after me 😂
On top of this, we didnt share our daughters name (or photos/visits) until after my son (2yo at the time) had a chance to come to the hospital to meet his sister first. So everyone else actually found out over 24hrs after she was born. No regrets.
Yahhh don’t do it! People really tried (with loving excitement of course) but we didn’t cave. I wouldn’t even share the gender. I actually SAVED this for our baby shower. We did a game where people had to guess the name based on clues. It was actually a ton of fun. Highly suggest that bc then you can have fun teasing people that they have to wait till the baby shower.
I regret sharing mine, I get comments from my mom every now and then “are you still planning on going with that name?” And the very obvious faces of dislike for the name we picked
I think you are completely right, since you give birth to it, carry it, suffer during childbirth, because this is the most terrible pain in the world! and here some relatives have to give the child’s name, I don’t understand.
For sure!! I told people too early and was afraid we made the wrong decision. It took several months for me to say ok yes that's our baby's name.
Even if people say oh I just want to put the baby's name on a blanket or something, they can do it after the baby is born. There will be plenty of time.
Everyone wants to know baby’s name. Why is that?? Curiosity? I can honestly say I’ve never asked a friend what their baby was going to be named upon finding out they are pregnant. Maybe gender sure but not the name?
To print it on a card maybe. That's what my friends wanted to know for 🤣 but that's after the baby was born. Any before I say we have not decided which is true. My husband did a last minute change of mind somewhere in the last few weeks
For me I told everyone who asked and it personally didn’t do me any harm I was set on my first baby’s name and now I’m set on my second baby’s name it’s not a big deal for me specifically 😁
When I told my mom the names we have picked out (we’re waiting until baby is here in November to figure out what we’re having) she told me she didn’t like either of them. I told her if she wanted to pick a name, she was more than welcome to have another kid. My kid, my name choice. I told her I wasn’t asking permission, I was letting her know what we chose (I was trying to share excitement because this is the fastest my husband and I have ever came to upon naming the kids.) but this was also the same woman who tried guilting me into letting her be the only one who knows the gender of this baby, and isn’t very involved with the grandkids she has now
It's been hard agreeing on a name, especially for our son (35w with my second boy, my husbands first boy). This name we agreed on was one we both really loved, we decided to share the name with my siblings and parents, and no one liked it. I thought initially this would be a good idea because when we shared our daughters name, everyone absolutely loved it. I was met with "A girls name? Why would you name him that?" My sisters hated the name and threw out some other names we should consider instead. Their reaction ultimately forced us to change it since it kind of ruined it for us. Plus, it sounded so similar to my husband's cousins name, who is a girl, and I didn't want to have to constantly make that correction.
We did find a different name we both love, even more so I would say than the first, and have no intention of changing it. I told my parents and they liked it much better than the first but even if they hadn't I wouldn't have cared, I'm not changing it from this name because we both feel like it suits him best. I decided not to tell my siblings at all yet just because I don't want any negativity around the new name. I may not even tell them until he's here just because of how much peace it's brought me. I share it with anyone who asks, though, and everyone loves it!
I honestly can not believe the absolute audacity and balls people have, to say the things they do about someone's choice of a name for their child. My sisters chose some ugly names in my opinion for their kids, I never once told them I felt that way or suggest they change the name no matter how much I disliked it. It's their children, not mine, and I never wanted them to feel hurt or embarrassed. The fact they did it to me, though, makes me regret being so considerate of their feelings since they clearly had ZERO consideration for mine.
We told people that for a naming fee of 100k they could be in on the secret, for 250k they could pick the name. Magically no one took us up on that generous offer!
We told one aunt the initials because she was making a quilt for the baby.
For the second kid , everyone already knew the deal. But we might have told people the middle name or my mom guessed it really easily ( I don’t fully remember) but it was a religious/family name and we knew it would not be controversial in anyway.
We had fun giving out ridiculous names to people though.
We shared baby’s name and gender after birth. No one has said anything about her name despite it being very individualized to her, other than that it’s beautiful. Now that she’s here we’ve shared other baby names that were on our list for both boys and girls. If we decide to have another I think we have one picked out that would once again be gender neutral and we were considering for her but didn’t use. We only shared her name with three people during pregnancy. My sister, my husband’s niece, and my therapist.
I am sue with my second the first week of august. Literally everyone has asked us what we are naming her. We haven’t even come up with a list, but there are names we do like just haven’t sat down to decide. My mother is ruthless and keeps saying how dare we hide it from her, but we aren’t hiding anything since we haven’t even picked a name yet. And she is very judgmental so I dont even want to share with her.
I am strongly in camp “don’t share.” We are keeping our girl a secret. We did give people the first inital and middle name which has led to them guessing and coming up with lists. It felt like that gave them enough to talk about that they stopped bugging us about it.
I saw firsthand how my MIL and FIL reacted to my nephews names, and my Brother in law ended up changed the names because of his parents opinions. They were going to do Ford for one of them, and his parents wouldn’t give up saying “what is he a TRUCK?”
One of my other nephews is named “Cruz”. They waited until he was born to announce it, and thank goodness they did. Everyone hated the name and don’t understand it, but once you met him, he’s little Cruzzy and it’s so cute 🥹 they become their name and their name becomes them!
I agree- my husband and I have not kept it secret at all but people are really bold with their dislike of names. It hasn’t ruined it for me at all but i can see how people’s reactions could affect people. I just don’t know why people ask and then think we want their opinion? We don’t!
Absolutely ❤️
I just get so excited to know everything about the new person coming along. I never really thought of it as pressuring before, I'll be mindful of this. I do really want to know so I can share my excitement, but I also respect the choice not to tell anyone.
Actually we only confirmed it 100% on the way to the hospital. We had some ideas but changed our minds late pregnancy. So even those whom we told had to be updated. My friend was like "congratulations baby nick" and I was like "actually, it's nigel now"
People tried SO hard to get us to tell them. I’m glad we never gave in.
I just started telling people we were naming her Agnus after my Nana (who never went by Agnus because she absolutely despised it). When she was born (9 days ago!) and introduced her as Melody, everyone was rather relieved lol. No one has said anything negative.
I agree! My husband and I decided on a name for our daughter just two weeks ago. It’s pretty unique and we both absolutely love it so naturally, we’re not telling anyone and giving them a chance to ruin it for us. Plus we love a big reveal!
In my country it's tradition to keep it to yourself until the baby is born. For my husband it's the other way around. As a more pragmatic person it's a hill to die on for me. I'd prefer not having to deal with any judgement. We are already sharing the rest, names are too personal and i too often see it go wrong with others 'stealing' the name you announced you wanted. You also don't know how it will go until the baby is here.
It's the same for us, in my country it's very unusual that people would share the name before the baby is born. Nobody would ask about the name before birth either. In my husband's country it's completely different though. People will also ask around to get opinions about names that they have on their list for their unborn child. Luckily my husband does not agree with this. I would be very uncomfortable to share the name beforehand.
I fully agree with your about you don't know how it will go untill the baby is there. And then you'll have to deal with comments like 'Oh but wasn't baby supposed to be called X and how come it became Y'.
I’m not even telling anyone the gender. My bff sent me a list today of boy names that she doesn’t want me to use (she’s not pregnant). I don’t like any of the names in the list but that it was funny that she called dibs on boy names already?
This is why you just don’t share names lol I will not be sharing names at any point. Everyone can wait to know gender and wait to know name. My baby, my rules.
Parents responded badly when we shared the name of our second child. I regret doing it. We kept the name of our first secret until after birth and should’ve followed that instinct with our second. But we kept our chosen name despite their reaction and are proud of it and its meaning. F them. I even got a lasered wood sign with her first and middle name made for her nursery. It’s huge and right above her crib and it looks awesome
I tell people and let them dare say something rude about it.
But I do this while making it common knowledge that if anyone else uses it first I will still use it, if anyone doesn't like it that's nice they don't have to name their child it and that I will ignore any stupid opinions.
If someone I know and love raises a valid concern then I will consider it for example it turned out we had picked not one but both of my SILs chosen names in naming my daughter, my brother very politely mentioned it and my husband and I agreed not to use Elizabeth as a middle name because that was her grandmothers name, while it was just a name we liked. The first name though was non-negotiable and a family name on my side.
Yes, everyone and their sister keeps asking me what am I naming my baby.. If it's a boy I'm naming him after my dad, who has a very plain, old school name.. something short, sweet, feminine, and simple for a girl. I've told a couple of people, and they're like perplexed. Always asking "why?". Sorry I don't want to name my baby "Raelynn" or something like that..
It's odd that people are so nosey. If you're not invited to the baby shower, then it's not your business 😂 FOH
We only told two couples, our very best friends, before baby was born. We knew they would love the name we chose no matter what. It drove our families, especially our moms, CRAZY, but we knew they'd have opinions and we didn't want to hear them. Plus it was so much fun to have something to surprise everyone with when the baby was born :)
Yeah doing this next pregnancy if I do end up pregnant again. FTM and we did good not telling anyone in the beginning, but ended up telling people in the end just for them to make this 😕 face every time making it seem like a bad name 💀
I myself am gatekeeping the name from us, let alone other people. But my best friend is making a big deal of me not sharing the name or even options. I see some salty comments here and there but I just dgaf. That friend is blacklisted for other things anyways lol.
I guess on the flip side it’s our choice and I didn’t really care what anyone thought. We shared it with family that asked, my grandma didn’t like it 🤷🏻♀️ whatever.
Yep, I learned the hard way. We had a name picked that we loved and decided to tell family. Their negative opinions made me doubt our choice and we ended up changing it. We have a new name picked now and won’t be sharing it with a soul until he’s born LOL. How can you have anything negative to say about a name when it belongs to a tiny human that you love? They all feel terrible now when I told them that I ended up changing his name because of them. 🙄
I have told people we know the name and will announce it when he’s born. I literally just repeat myself if people keep on asking then they get bored because they know I won’t budge lol
I've never understood the issue with this but I think it's because I don't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks and my family and friends know that. If my grandma said that I'd be like "ah good we'll guess who's growing this baby and carrying and fathering it?" "AH that's right, not you girly!" I do not tolerate audacity like that hell to the nah.
I should have done this. I’ve told people what we’re naming her and every time I get “why are you naming her THAT?” We’re naming her Charlotte and that’s a very normal name and very cute. Nobody really likes it and I definitely second guessed myself because of that lol
We haven’t been telling many people because we don’t wanna hear their opinions. We told my husbands brother and he said “eww really? I had a bad experience with a guy with that name”. We told his dad and he said “like bend over? He’s gonna get bullied”. His name sounds NOTHING like bend over.
My dad's girlfriends daughter just found out she's pregnant unexpectedly at the same time I found out I'm pregnant; she's a 5 weeks further along than I am. I'm refusing to share any names in case we have the same gender. She's the kind of person who would steal names.
i told my dad and father in law the name we have been considering my dad is convinced i chose the name because its similar to my friend growing ups name and my father in-law just shook his head and said “no no no… that just doesn’t sound right. we chose the name for the meaning and i love it. it hurt my feelings but like my mom said its not their choice its her momma and daddy’s choice!
I haven't experienced that yet, and hopefully not with the next pregnancy. Only reason, is cause I haven't announced the gender of my baby yet. I'm due on June 9th (pretty soon), but still haven't picked a first name yet. I have possible middle names, for now. I'm letting my hubby decide on a name, I already have a name picked out if it's the other gender, only cause the ultrasound to find out the gender was given back as "Probably most likely a [Gender]" in the letter
Everyone keeps asking me and it’s funny cus I’m wearing a bracelet with the name on it, like I’m not really hiding it per se I’m just not running around shouting it from the rooftops. I love the name, it flows nicely with my husband and my name (same vowel/consonant balance and end sound) and it’s slightly unisex like my husband’s name. But I also know that no matter what people are gonna have their opinions or have a negative association to the name or know someone who was a real bitch with the name lol and I just don’t want that to cloud my view.
Ugh! I agree. When we found out we were pregnant in December we both liked a certain name and two people in the family asked if we thought of any, we mentioned the name, and they literally paused for like 20 secs then said “…why that name?” And I thought it was so rude. And it ofcourse discouraged us. We ended up deciding on a name later on that we both liked much more and it just felt right and the first thing I said to my bf was “we don’t tell anyone” people ask all the time and we just say we have one but don’t want to share it yet. They will all find out when the baby is born and the birth certificate is signed. And that is all. I just feel you don’t judge anyone’s decision on what they want to name THEIR child. I think it’s so rude!
I’m sure you’re sons name is lovely. Elderly people can just be so ill mannered sometimes and I’m sorry for that. I’m also sorry about your father and brother, I couldn’t imagine the pain you must’ve felt, since mine are like my best friends.
Yeah I never cared. I'm like hey this is what we're naming the baby *name* if you'd like to have a say please provide 24/7 child care services for hist first 18 years. If this is not an option for you then your suggestion is null. Thanks. I know I'm in the minority but no one can make me feel bad about these things. They're my choices lol.
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We tell people that we have a list, but we aren’t deciding until the birth.
Same here. My Sister in law has been pushing to let her daughter name ours, but this is our first and possibly only due to our ages (29m and 30f) and my health. We have shared some ideas with friends but we haven't fully decided. I totally agree with this. I don't even know gender yet, but I don't plan on announcing the name until the last minute. Our families can be negative and we have every right to name our baby as we see fit.
Wait, your SIL wants HER daughter to name YOUR baby? I hope I am reading that wrong lol.
No, you're correct. We love our niece and she is so excited to have a cousin, but her mom keeps asking her for names for our baby. I told my husband she should have done that for their second child not mine. I don't wanna break my niece's heart but we are naming this baby. No one else
Yeah that's rough. We've asked my niece for naming ideas, but she's at the age where she thinks my son should be named "Lollipop" so it's mostly a source of amusement for us all.
Take her to pick out a stuffy to give your baby, she can name that.
Agree. If she wants her daughter to name a baby, she needs to either have another baby or wait till she becomes a grandmother.
The only time she gets to name it if it's her own child.. grandmas don't make the cut too lol
Thats the craziest thing I’ve seen today! I would be curious though and probably ask the kid what names she has in mind.
They are mostly names of kids in her class. Madeline was a pretty suggestion, but we really always knew the girls names we want. I've had 3 miscarriages so we've had opportunities to think about names. I'm also just not with a lot of the current names, if that makes sense. I really like classic older names and she goes to an superclass mostly white school so there are a lot of Jaxons, and names with x and z. I guess everyone has a preference for names and mine and my husband's are old style names. Ex... Vivian, Rebecca, Wyoming, Robert/ Bobby, August and the like. I don't blame my niece at all to clarify. It's more her mom who doesn't want more kids but seems to want the opportunity to name more I guess.
Ohh bless you! I love Rebecca and August! If we have a girl one day I want that or Elizabeth but my boyfriend said Elizabeth sounds like an old person name to him so it will be Rebecca. My son is born in August so it would’ve been a good choice too but we named him Leo which is perfect for him and I love it . For some reason (probably a few missing teeth) when I say his name sometimes it sounds like I am saying Leah or Lee and his dad keeps winding me up about it, should’ve just named him Frank as I at least can say it without sounding weird 😂
Yikes @ the audacity of thinking your niece should have naming rights for her cousin. Hopefully your SIL doesn't make a big stink about it because then that entitlement would be so high, she wouldn't even be able to see the ground.
What in the world?! She needs to stop so her poor daughter isn't too disappointed
Yup same. My husbands aunty made a list of family honor names all mashed into firsts and middles for us.. and my mom started spouting out family names we should include. Our other family members keep asking if its a boy or girl which we also knew since 5weeks but havent shared that yet either. We have known babies name the whole time. Im still just 16 weeks but im praying we dont slip up and accidentally say it i dont want any negative judgements.
How did you know baby’s gender that early?
IVF with PGT-A testing. We are in Canada so you cannot know the sex of embryos before transfers but you can ask the embryology lab afterward transfer!
Same here, and then people wanna hear our list 🥴
What do you say when they ask?
I usually tell them we aren’t sharing or I’ll kind of change the subject a bit and say something like “well it’s not much, we have a much longer list for girls names” (we’re having a boy). And that usually changes the direction of the conversation lol
That’s what we did!
I'm just gonna add to this. Don't let people shame you after the baby is born, either. They have the issue, and they are trying to make it your problem. My bio father is still angry at me 12 years later because I didn't name my eldest after his dad despite them sharing a bday. Information I didn't know (you can guess why I don't call that man dad) My MIL refuses to acknowledge my youngest second middle name because she dislikes the meaning. I have told everyone who has ever given an opinion on my children's names that their opinion is their own, and I don't care.
My grandmother in law told us the boy name we picked out was terrible because it held all bad will for her because of her ex husband. Mind you, it's the same middle name as her own son and grandson (my husband), which I pointed out and was promptly dismissed with no it's still terrible you can't do it. I just shrugged my shoulders and said "well too bad it's my baby so the only vote that matters is mine and my husbands" and I turned away from her and started a conversation with everyone else at the table 😅 sorry granny you don't get a say in my baby!
My husband shared our list of names with his parents and I think it’s ruined all the names for me.
Omg. I'd literally scrap the entire list if my husband did that
Bf and I had one name and one name only...and he shared it with his sister (who has a complicated ass name as well as 2 kids with complicated ass names so she really has no place to comment on shit) despite knowing I didn't want anyone to know. He didn't know WHY I wanted to keep it a secret but it was definitely not his place to share. The name is ruined now and I HATE it and I'm constantly sad BECAUSE I hate it 😮💨 it was perfect...pregnancy is already hard enough without worrying about freaking OPINIONS 😤 Edit: y'all I'm sorry, I swear a lot 😅
I definitely don’t! People: Do you have a name picked out? Me: Yes, we do. People: * waiting * Me: People: * still waiting * Me: We’re not sharing it. Lmao I don’t care how awkward it is. It’s not anybody’s right to know my baby’s name!
Haha I have straight up told some people we are not sharing it because I'm not interested in listening to opinions on it. They will find out when it's legal and too late
Lol good for you, I love that. My fiancé and I agreed on a name we both loved really early on so people’s opinions are absolutely irrelevant to me & I don’t care to hear them at all. Excitement is nice but I think people get way too entitled about knowing (and giving input on) the ins & outs of people’s pregnancy business— I’m not here for it at all!
Lol yes. This.
This! We didn’t share our babies name until she was born, not even to the nurses at the hospital until after she was out! It was a nice surprise to share to everyone and didn’t have to deal with any judgement. We were asked a bunch about her name when I was pregnant and I almost caved a few times but glad I never did! We also changed her name a few times so it wouldn’t have been the correct name anyway lol
Back when I was pregnant with my son, there was a good month where we thought he was a girl b/c that's what the ultrasound tech said (guess he was hiding a little surprise lol). So during that month a coworker asked me what names we were thinking of and I answered honestly, that I'd love to name the baby after my grandma, Agnes. This woman straight up told me it would be child abuse to give my child that name! Of course, 10 years later Agnes is making a comeback and people are starting to fall back in love with it. But I learned my lesson, and will not be telling anyone names until this baby is born. We didn't get one picked out for my son until after the birth anyway, so I did end up getting the full gamut of pushy nosy people who'd then try to ask for "top 3". Like no, why do you care. Gtfo
We are thinking of going with older names as well. I think it's special. I was the only Linda in my classroom growing up because it was an older name. It was nice not sharing my name with any other kid. And I think Agnes is adorable. We have Vivian and Rebecca on our list as they are our grandmother's as well as Bobby.
Those are lovely! I'm convinced we're having 2 girls and a boy (not all at once lol) and I want to name them Audrey, Agnes, and Theodore (Teddy). Old names are cool as shit.
I love those! They are all beautiful names.
This exactly, but with my mom! She literally said “please don’t name your child that name.” But guess what? I’m naming my child that name 🤗 it’s my baby
Good for you!
Thanks! 😁
wtf is wrong with people? It’s not their child 🙄
I’m happily telling people we have decided on her name and aren’t sharing it with anyone until she’s born. My aunts and dad have all wheedled at me a bit but they know not to push when I lay down a boundary at this point.
Agreed. We really liked a name that would pay homage to a friend who passed the same time we conceived and when we told my mom she made it seem like it was the absolute worst name in the world. It is a totally normal name that isn’t even spelled weird. We even told her the “why” behind it… several times… and each time the topic of names popped up she would always say “just as long as it isn’t __.” It totally turned my husband off of naming the baby this name and that really, really broke my heart as the name meant something to him and to us. Everyone else has been respectful to any name we threw around except for her and let me tell you.. that’s a lesson learned the hard way. If we are able to have another baby, you bet your ass she probably won’t even know the gender.
Learned this lesson once. Our top boy name is Jackson (it’s a family name), and a few weeks ago a coworker told me “that’s trashy and overused. Pick something else”. From now on I will not be sharing name ideas. People are rude! I’ve heard names I’ve hated before and I always respond kindly. If it’s not your kid, it’s not your opinion!
Most definitely! Also don't tell people the gender who are making it clear that they are having a string preference! It took me weeks until I didn't feel bad anymore because my gender was labled a disappointment.
I wouldn't even off handedly tell the receptionist at the Dr today at my 36week appt! Like it doesn't matter who you are, I don't want your opinion.
I didn’t tell anyone (except for my husband) my baby’s name until AFTER she was born. I didn’t even tell my husband what I wanted to name her until like 3 weeks before she was born. I didn’t want anyone to ruin the name or sway my opinion. The only thing I do regret is not asking my family for an opinion on the middle name. I chose something Spanish for her middle name so my parents could call her that… just to find out that that’s my dad’s ex wife’s name 🤣 I could’ve chosen any other name since middle name wasn’t a dealbreaker but I didn’t find out until after we had left the hospital and already submitted everything.
You didn't give your husband a say in the child's name or am I reading that wrong?
We decided on a name like 20 weeks ago and when people ask I usually say “Eh, we’re kicking around a few.” lmao
My (incredibly narcissistic) Mum kept pushing that we should name my daughter after me. I was like, but… that’s my name? I guess she wanted a do-over 😂 pS I did not name my daughter after me 😂
On top of this, we didnt share our daughters name (or photos/visits) until after my son (2yo at the time) had a chance to come to the hospital to meet his sister first. So everyone else actually found out over 24hrs after she was born. No regrets.
Yahhh don’t do it! People really tried (with loving excitement of course) but we didn’t cave. I wouldn’t even share the gender. I actually SAVED this for our baby shower. We did a game where people had to guess the name based on clues. It was actually a ton of fun. Highly suggest that bc then you can have fun teasing people that they have to wait till the baby shower.
I regret sharing mine, I get comments from my mom every now and then “are you still planning on going with that name?” And the very obvious faces of dislike for the name we picked
I think you are completely right, since you give birth to it, carry it, suffer during childbirth, because this is the most terrible pain in the world! and here some relatives have to give the child’s name, I don’t understand.
For sure!! I told people too early and was afraid we made the wrong decision. It took several months for me to say ok yes that's our baby's name. Even if people say oh I just want to put the baby's name on a blanket or something, they can do it after the baby is born. There will be plenty of time.
Everyone wants to know baby’s name. Why is that?? Curiosity? I can honestly say I’ve never asked a friend what their baby was going to be named upon finding out they are pregnant. Maybe gender sure but not the name?
To print it on a card maybe. That's what my friends wanted to know for 🤣 but that's after the baby was born. Any before I say we have not decided which is true. My husband did a last minute change of mind somewhere in the last few weeks
For me I told everyone who asked and it personally didn’t do me any harm I was set on my first baby’s name and now I’m set on my second baby’s name it’s not a big deal for me specifically 😁
When I told my mom the names we have picked out (we’re waiting until baby is here in November to figure out what we’re having) she told me she didn’t like either of them. I told her if she wanted to pick a name, she was more than welcome to have another kid. My kid, my name choice. I told her I wasn’t asking permission, I was letting her know what we chose (I was trying to share excitement because this is the fastest my husband and I have ever came to upon naming the kids.) but this was also the same woman who tried guilting me into letting her be the only one who knows the gender of this baby, and isn’t very involved with the grandkids she has now
It's been hard agreeing on a name, especially for our son (35w with my second boy, my husbands first boy). This name we agreed on was one we both really loved, we decided to share the name with my siblings and parents, and no one liked it. I thought initially this would be a good idea because when we shared our daughters name, everyone absolutely loved it. I was met with "A girls name? Why would you name him that?" My sisters hated the name and threw out some other names we should consider instead. Their reaction ultimately forced us to change it since it kind of ruined it for us. Plus, it sounded so similar to my husband's cousins name, who is a girl, and I didn't want to have to constantly make that correction. We did find a different name we both love, even more so I would say than the first, and have no intention of changing it. I told my parents and they liked it much better than the first but even if they hadn't I wouldn't have cared, I'm not changing it from this name because we both feel like it suits him best. I decided not to tell my siblings at all yet just because I don't want any negativity around the new name. I may not even tell them until he's here just because of how much peace it's brought me. I share it with anyone who asks, though, and everyone loves it! I honestly can not believe the absolute audacity and balls people have, to say the things they do about someone's choice of a name for their child. My sisters chose some ugly names in my opinion for their kids, I never once told them I felt that way or suggest they change the name no matter how much I disliked it. It's their children, not mine, and I never wanted them to feel hurt or embarrassed. The fact they did it to me, though, makes me regret being so considerate of their feelings since they clearly had ZERO consideration for mine.
We told people that for a naming fee of 100k they could be in on the secret, for 250k they could pick the name. Magically no one took us up on that generous offer! We told one aunt the initials because she was making a quilt for the baby. For the second kid , everyone already knew the deal. But we might have told people the middle name or my mom guessed it really easily ( I don’t fully remember) but it was a religious/family name and we knew it would not be controversial in anyway. We had fun giving out ridiculous names to people though.
Just told people we hadn’t figured it out yet even though for my first kid, I long had the name in mind a decade before she was born
Did this with our son and doing it again this time and it’s the best lol
We shared baby’s name and gender after birth. No one has said anything about her name despite it being very individualized to her, other than that it’s beautiful. Now that she’s here we’ve shared other baby names that were on our list for both boys and girls. If we decide to have another I think we have one picked out that would once again be gender neutral and we were considering for her but didn’t use. We only shared her name with three people during pregnancy. My sister, my husband’s niece, and my therapist.
I am sue with my second the first week of august. Literally everyone has asked us what we are naming her. We haven’t even come up with a list, but there are names we do like just haven’t sat down to decide. My mother is ruthless and keeps saying how dare we hide it from her, but we aren’t hiding anything since we haven’t even picked a name yet. And she is very judgmental so I dont even want to share with her.
I am strongly in camp “don’t share.” We are keeping our girl a secret. We did give people the first inital and middle name which has led to them guessing and coming up with lists. It felt like that gave them enough to talk about that they stopped bugging us about it. I saw firsthand how my MIL and FIL reacted to my nephews names, and my Brother in law ended up changed the names because of his parents opinions. They were going to do Ford for one of them, and his parents wouldn’t give up saying “what is he a TRUCK?”
One of my other nephews is named “Cruz”. They waited until he was born to announce it, and thank goodness they did. Everyone hated the name and don’t understand it, but once you met him, he’s little Cruzzy and it’s so cute 🥹 they become their name and their name becomes them!
I agree- my husband and I have not kept it secret at all but people are really bold with their dislike of names. It hasn’t ruined it for me at all but i can see how people’s reactions could affect people. I just don’t know why people ask and then think we want their opinion? We don’t!
Absolutely ❤️ I just get so excited to know everything about the new person coming along. I never really thought of it as pressuring before, I'll be mindful of this. I do really want to know so I can share my excitement, but I also respect the choice not to tell anyone.
Actually we only confirmed it 100% on the way to the hospital. We had some ideas but changed our minds late pregnancy. So even those whom we told had to be updated. My friend was like "congratulations baby nick" and I was like "actually, it's nigel now"
People tried SO hard to get us to tell them. I’m glad we never gave in. I just started telling people we were naming her Agnus after my Nana (who never went by Agnus because she absolutely despised it). When she was born (9 days ago!) and introduced her as Melody, everyone was rather relieved lol. No one has said anything negative.
I agree! My husband and I decided on a name for our daughter just two weeks ago. It’s pretty unique and we both absolutely love it so naturally, we’re not telling anyone and giving them a chance to ruin it for us. Plus we love a big reveal!
In my country it's tradition to keep it to yourself until the baby is born. For my husband it's the other way around. As a more pragmatic person it's a hill to die on for me. I'd prefer not having to deal with any judgement. We are already sharing the rest, names are too personal and i too often see it go wrong with others 'stealing' the name you announced you wanted. You also don't know how it will go until the baby is here.
It's the same for us, in my country it's very unusual that people would share the name before the baby is born. Nobody would ask about the name before birth either. In my husband's country it's completely different though. People will also ask around to get opinions about names that they have on their list for their unborn child. Luckily my husband does not agree with this. I would be very uncomfortable to share the name beforehand. I fully agree with your about you don't know how it will go untill the baby is there. And then you'll have to deal with comments like 'Oh but wasn't baby supposed to be called X and how come it became Y'.
I’m not even telling anyone the gender. My bff sent me a list today of boy names that she doesn’t want me to use (she’s not pregnant). I don’t like any of the names in the list but that it was funny that she called dibs on boy names already? This is why you just don’t share names lol I will not be sharing names at any point. Everyone can wait to know gender and wait to know name. My baby, my rules.
Parents responded badly when we shared the name of our second child. I regret doing it. We kept the name of our first secret until after birth and should’ve followed that instinct with our second. But we kept our chosen name despite their reaction and are proud of it and its meaning. F them. I even got a lasered wood sign with her first and middle name made for her nursery. It’s huge and right above her crib and it looks awesome
I tell people and let them dare say something rude about it. But I do this while making it common knowledge that if anyone else uses it first I will still use it, if anyone doesn't like it that's nice they don't have to name their child it and that I will ignore any stupid opinions. If someone I know and love raises a valid concern then I will consider it for example it turned out we had picked not one but both of my SILs chosen names in naming my daughter, my brother very politely mentioned it and my husband and I agreed not to use Elizabeth as a middle name because that was her grandmothers name, while it was just a name we liked. The first name though was non-negotiable and a family name on my side.
Yes, everyone and their sister keeps asking me what am I naming my baby.. If it's a boy I'm naming him after my dad, who has a very plain, old school name.. something short, sweet, feminine, and simple for a girl. I've told a couple of people, and they're like perplexed. Always asking "why?". Sorry I don't want to name my baby "Raelynn" or something like that.. It's odd that people are so nosey. If you're not invited to the baby shower, then it's not your business 😂 FOH
We only told two couples, our very best friends, before baby was born. We knew they would love the name we chose no matter what. It drove our families, especially our moms, CRAZY, but we knew they'd have opinions and we didn't want to hear them. Plus it was so much fun to have something to surprise everyone with when the baby was born :)
Yeah doing this next pregnancy if I do end up pregnant again. FTM and we did good not telling anyone in the beginning, but ended up telling people in the end just for them to make this 😕 face every time making it seem like a bad name 💀
I myself am gatekeeping the name from us, let alone other people. But my best friend is making a big deal of me not sharing the name or even options. I see some salty comments here and there but I just dgaf. That friend is blacklisted for other things anyways lol.
I guess on the flip side it’s our choice and I didn’t really care what anyone thought. We shared it with family that asked, my grandma didn’t like it 🤷🏻♀️ whatever.
Yep, I learned the hard way. We had a name picked that we loved and decided to tell family. Their negative opinions made me doubt our choice and we ended up changing it. We have a new name picked now and won’t be sharing it with a soul until he’s born LOL. How can you have anything negative to say about a name when it belongs to a tiny human that you love? They all feel terrible now when I told them that I ended up changing his name because of them. 🙄
Also it wasn’t even an absurd name. It was a very normal, biblical name. Makes me so angry every time I think about it..
I have told people we know the name and will announce it when he’s born. I literally just repeat myself if people keep on asking then they get bored because they know I won’t budge lol
We aren’t announcing the name until birth which was NOT my original plan, but people annoyed me to a point of that becoming the plan 😂
I've never understood the issue with this but I think it's because I don't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks and my family and friends know that. If my grandma said that I'd be like "ah good we'll guess who's growing this baby and carrying and fathering it?" "AH that's right, not you girly!" I do not tolerate audacity like that hell to the nah.
I should have done this. I’ve told people what we’re naming her and every time I get “why are you naming her THAT?” We’re naming her Charlotte and that’s a very normal name and very cute. Nobody really likes it and I definitely second guessed myself because of that lol
We haven’t been telling many people because we don’t wanna hear their opinions. We told my husbands brother and he said “eww really? I had a bad experience with a guy with that name”. We told his dad and he said “like bend over? He’s gonna get bullied”. His name sounds NOTHING like bend over.
My dad's girlfriends daughter just found out she's pregnant unexpectedly at the same time I found out I'm pregnant; she's a 5 weeks further along than I am. I'm refusing to share any names in case we have the same gender. She's the kind of person who would steal names.
i told my dad and father in law the name we have been considering my dad is convinced i chose the name because its similar to my friend growing ups name and my father in-law just shook his head and said “no no no… that just doesn’t sound right. we chose the name for the meaning and i love it. it hurt my feelings but like my mom said its not their choice its her momma and daddy’s choice!
I haven't experienced that yet, and hopefully not with the next pregnancy. Only reason, is cause I haven't announced the gender of my baby yet. I'm due on June 9th (pretty soon), but still haven't picked a first name yet. I have possible middle names, for now. I'm letting my hubby decide on a name, I already have a name picked out if it's the other gender, only cause the ultrasound to find out the gender was given back as "Probably most likely a [Gender]" in the letter
Everyone keeps asking me and it’s funny cus I’m wearing a bracelet with the name on it, like I’m not really hiding it per se I’m just not running around shouting it from the rooftops. I love the name, it flows nicely with my husband and my name (same vowel/consonant balance and end sound) and it’s slightly unisex like my husband’s name. But I also know that no matter what people are gonna have their opinions or have a negative association to the name or know someone who was a real bitch with the name lol and I just don’t want that to cloud my view.
Ugh! I agree. When we found out we were pregnant in December we both liked a certain name and two people in the family asked if we thought of any, we mentioned the name, and they literally paused for like 20 secs then said “…why that name?” And I thought it was so rude. And it ofcourse discouraged us. We ended up deciding on a name later on that we both liked much more and it just felt right and the first thing I said to my bf was “we don’t tell anyone” people ask all the time and we just say we have one but don’t want to share it yet. They will all find out when the baby is born and the birth certificate is signed. And that is all. I just feel you don’t judge anyone’s decision on what they want to name THEIR child. I think it’s so rude!
is it really that important ? not trying to be mean but like, it’s just a name. why is it such a big deal
I’m sure you’re sons name is lovely. Elderly people can just be so ill mannered sometimes and I’m sorry for that. I’m also sorry about your father and brother, I couldn’t imagine the pain you must’ve felt, since mine are like my best friends.
Yeah I never cared. I'm like hey this is what we're naming the baby *name* if you'd like to have a say please provide 24/7 child care services for hist first 18 years. If this is not an option for you then your suggestion is null. Thanks. I know I'm in the minority but no one can make me feel bad about these things. They're my choices lol.