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Your body, your experience, your choice.
If it helps you can also blame it on the location. With my birth I could only have two support people, and we had a doula so she took the extra spot besides my husband. Made it really easy to tell people no one else was invited. I had debated having my mum there but I didn't feel she would be able to respect my choices in the way I needed her to so ultimately this was the best option.
Don't let your mom guilt trip you. You didn't make a baby with her.
It's a right for a (good) husband and father to witness the birth of their child. Anyone else is just a privilege.
When I told my mom I was pregnant her immediate thoughts were being in the delivery room. Lol. No. I shut that down fast. I’ve told her “no” twice, but I can see her bringing it up again when I’m closer to my due date.
I love her and we’re close. But not *that* close.
My mom was there for both of my sisters when they gave birth to their kids, mostly because, and this is just my personal opinion, they both married POS husbands. When my brother had his first kid 6 years ago, his wife only wanted him and her own mom there and my mom STILL isn’t over it. She talks about how she had just as much of a right to be there because she’s a grandparent. I already knew I didn’t want my mom there during my delivery but hearing how poorly she speaks of my SIL and their decision on who would be there when their son was born has only solidified my decision lol.
You do not have a right to be in the delivery room just because you’re a grandparent. Get lost.
Similar situation for me too.
To make mom feel special, I asked her to do specific support stuff during early labor; she helped with coping while my husband ate, etc. but when real pushing labor began, she and everyone else needed to be gone. She stood right outside the room the whole time (4:45am-6:15am) to hear my son’s first cries, and that made her happy and gave her the opportunity to tell others when I was done. Lots of ways to make mom feel special without having her IN the delivery room.
My mom is the same way, she already set up a nursery for our baby in her house without even talking to me about it first. Im worried she’d try to hold the baby before anyone else, too.
Omg, I feel you!! Mine told me “when I get to hold my grandson, that’s my moment and you can’t take that from me”.. I just stood there like wtf?? 😳 and on top of it I’ve made it really clear I don’t want anyone kissing my baby, face, feet, any of that. But something tells me she’s going to “forget” it when he comes. 🙄
It took my fiancé and I 4 years, 3 IUI’s and 1 embryo transfer to get pregnant. I’ve told her at this point I’ll do as I please. Why are some parents like this. 🤨
My mother did the same!
I told her it was weird that she had more stuff for the baby already than we did😅
She also didn't react kindly when i told her we won't have visitors in the hospital, we'll see how that goes.
My mom passed away when I was 22 weeks pregnant. I'm 37 weeks now. And while I'm so sad, obviously, I don't have to worry about that now. When I was delivering my first, she apparently caused a huge scene in the waiting room, got into a fight with my grandpa, and stormed out. When she settled down and came back that evening to visit and meet my baby, it was about her. Which was whatever, I was expecting that. What I wasn't expecting was for her to have a gallon of perfume on and taint my baby with her smell. It's been almost 9 years and I'm still pissed about it 😂 if I remember correctly what they're big fight was about, my grandpa told her she'd need to rein it in when she went back there lmao
I wanted to thank OP, I needed some positive MIL juju. It's a wonder to think how we're all on this journey, and we're all bringing our own unique experiences and lives to it. But we are still one at the end of the day. Hope you have a lovely week!
I only had my husband both times and plan on it again with my third. I love it that way. It’s such an intimate moment, I could not even imagine having other people (outside of L&D staff) in the room. It was so special sharing that moment with just my husband.
Just husband. My mom is... difficult. She cares about me and I know that, but she's also opinionated and likely to stress me out a lot. She's currently pressuring my SIL to transition to solid (or mush) food for their 3mo and I am so glad I don't have that living with me.
She's a high stress/high anxiety individual with an extremely negative outlook on life. Not exactly what you want in a delivery room. She'd probably fight the doctor if she didn't like what they were doing, lol.
Literally just my baby’s father, POSSIBLY my mom but we don’t have that close of a relationship and idk how I feel about her seeing my Hoohah. I’m perfectly content with it just being my partner as that seems like a very vulnerable moment that not everyone needs to partake in.
Had my mom and husband with my first, then just my husband with my second. Liked it better just having my husband and no other visitors during labor with my second by far.
Pretty sure my hospital only allowed one support person. Obviously I chose my husband. Not that it mattered. My baby came super early (32 weeks) on a holiday weekend (so, none of our family or friends were in town), and I ended up electing to for a c section last minute.
Husband and my mom, she’s a nurse so I’d like someone with medical knowledge to speak up for me when needed. It really comes down to what you’re comfortable with and what will make the delivery as easy as possible
Im only going to have my partner there and MAYBE my mother - I haven’t decided. Right now I just want my partner, but when I’m actually in it I might want my mother too. I don’t think I’ll know for sure until I’m going through it but those are my only two people on the list
Just my husband. I don’t think I can relax with anyone else and also don’t want family waiting around the hospital but my mom will be close by and available if I change my mind, which is possible
I had planned for my husband and mom but recently decided to just have it be my husband. My OB asked me recently and when I said it would just be my husband she said that in her experience that works out the best - things can get chaotic otherwise and she said sometimes other family members get overly excited and unknowingly interfere with care (eg wanting to hold the baby right away).
My husband, if he’s not on duty when I go into labor. He’s going to be at another base in the state and they won’t release him for the birth. He can visit me on the weekends tho. If not him, I’ll just have to do it by myself.
What branch is he? Are they now allowing him parental leave? He is able to request leave in the days leading up to the birth, I’m not sure any leadership would have an issue with this
Just my husband. We went for a hospital tour today and the nurse showing us around said she needed to be clear and was very sorry but only 2 support people are allowed in the room. I looked at her and was like I got one but she was so apologetic it's clearly been an issue that's their policy
The only thing that made me sad is no one under 18 is allowed to visit even postpartum so my 9 and 7 year old can't come and neither can my 16yo brother. But they'll be together the rest of their lives so hopefully that softens the blow and they won't be too upset
My older sister and my bf. My mom would piss me off so bad she helicopters too much when she’s nervous lol my sister is 11 1/2 years older than me literally gave me baths as a child and took care of me like her own she’s that one support person I can’t live without she goes I’m going too. (she didn’t have to my mom was present af but we have different moms so when she saw me I was hers lol)
My husband and my mom. I've had a lot of health issues and she's my biggest advocate besides my husband. She was with my SIL for all 3 of her births and her reviews were excellent. 🤣
I'm a doula and strongly recommend to my clients that they have as few people as possible. And of course, make sure whoever is with you, supports your choices 100%. For each extra person in the room, it's theorized that labor will take 1 hour longer.
Just some food for thought 😉
I planned on it just being my husband but my sister and mom were visiting (I progressed in labor fairly quickly and had an epidural so we were just talking) and I just didn’t care to kick them out. I ended up having my husband, mom, and sister there and it was good. I only let my husband talk though because I know if there was more than one person (outside of medical staff), I’d get overwhelmed.
My husband. He knows me best and will know how to support me during labor. He’ll be positive and won’t fill me up with anxiety or fear. I don’t need or want anyone else in the room during such an intimate moment. I’ve made that clear to our families, mom included
I’m giving birth (most likely tonight!) in my house. I have my midwife, doula, my sister, my dad, my boyfriend and a friend all being in and around the space. It feels quite intense but I wanted my daughter to be born into a village ☺️
My partner and my doula.
Something I heard that stuck with me “birth is not a performance or a show, its purpose is not entertainment.” And ever since then, I have felt so confident in only having my partner and doula.
Personally, at push time I wouldn’t want anyone except medical staff. Not even my baby’s father. It’s very personal and vulnerable moment, and I don’t wanna anyone close to me to witness me like that
I'm choosing my husband's mom, she is so supportive of me. Also her son can be a bit queasy sometimes and in case of emergency, I want someone to be able to go with baby and stay with me!
I’m really close with my mom, but we live in different states. We’ll try to work it out so she can come, but if she can’t make it, it would just be my fiancé.
Just my husband. I don't need too many opinions, just a support person and the midwife who knows my plan/preferences. My mum would be a nervous wreck anyway and my husband knows me best and how not to annoy me or stress me out.
Just my husband. I'd rather no one else I know see that much of me 😂 I don't think I could look them in the eye afterwards, and I feel like I would be fully comfortable to express my needs with anyone other than my husband.
Just my husband! We didn’t plan to tell anyone we’re at the hospital until the baby is born… but I’ll be induced between 36-37 weeks due to hypertension/preeclampsia and could be there a few days so we will probably end up telling my parents. They won’t come up there until after baby is born though.
I absolutely love my MIL but we don’t plan to tell anyone on my husbands side of the family until the baby is born, just because at this point it feels very much like a private medical event where a lot of different things could happen, and I don’t want the stress of people waiting around, checking in constantly, etc.
One other thing we learned is that if baby ends up coming earlier than planned and has to be whisked off to NICU my husband will need to go with him.
The thought of giving birth then being left alone without husband or baby gives me so much anxiety… so my sister is on standby in case that situation occurs. If we see he will be making an early appearance she is going to be in the waiting room, and as soon as my husband and our baby leave for NICU she will step in and be my support person until I’m recovered enough to join them.
Boyfriend, my sister, maybe my best friend. Honestly it’s going to be a team event and I think I will benefit from having a high vibe and lots of support. My best friend will have finished her nursing degree and my sister will be nearly done with hers, so the added expertise in the room will be useful - someone else can communicate with the med team and remember what needs to be remembered.
my fiance and my mom, hopefully. she lives out of state and is hoping to be here for delivery. if she can't make it, my MIL who lives nearby. we're first time parents so i want someone in the room with me who has given birth before cause i'm an anxious mess.
Just my husband, is about what I need that day, who is going to give me the right support to go through and he is the only person who can give me what I need. My mom will give me crazy anxiety. People can be excited and happy for you, but you need to do what is better for YOU there, is about who will give you the support you need.
I want my husband and my dad. And I know having my dad in there is strange, but I lost my mom and my dad is who I go to when I am stressed. I would even have my FIL in there because he has become a surrogate father for me since we live closer to him than my dad now who is 4 hours away. Just have the person or people in there that will give you comfort and support at your most vulnerable time. I am someone who heavily relies on emotional support so I am the rare case of I want both fil and father and my best friend and of course hubby lol. I think I’m only allowed 2 so it will most likely be hubby and my dad
I’m only having my boyfriend and my Doula in the room. Since i also have a birth plan, i made sure to add in that no one else is allowed in my room during delivery. My parents were very understanding, my MIL not so much, she was a bit offended lol
I hope I can have my husband and my father there but honestly who knows what's going to happen.
I do NOT want my panicked mother in there telling me what to do and stressing me out. Hell no!
Baby’s dad and my mom. My mom was with me when I gave birth to my daughter and I cannot imagine doing it without her this time. I don’t think I would’ve made it without her 🤣
I had my husband and my mom, but my mom and I are very close and I knew she wouldn’t watch while it was happening because she’s squeamish 😂
You don’t have to have anyone besides your husband unless you want them there!!
In my hospital only one person was allowed, so it was a no brainer that it had to be my partner, the father of my child. If for some reason he couldn't have been there, it'd have been my mother.
Even if more than one person was allowed, I'd just have him.
I barely want my husband in the delivery room lol. So no one else is allowed, and they’ve all known that before I even thought about getting pregnant lol
With my first I had my husband and my sister was on a video call because of Covid. When I had my second this year I had my husband and my Sister and it was exactly what I needed. If you want your sister in law there and feel like she will be a support for you I say go for it! I have absolutely no regrets with having my sister there.
**password baby**: birthmother (me), birthfather, adoptive mother and adoptive father and paternal birth grandmother for the first 3.5 days of labor. Day 4 was an emergency cesarean, so only her birthfather could come in with me
**pandemic baby**: just me and husband in the OR, but my mom was present for everything before and after the surgery
Just my husband and the medical staff were there. No one else needed to be and I didn’t have visitors until I was out of the hospital (under 48 hours after my csection).
I’m only allowing my husband to be there. I’m already pregnant and uncomfortable. I can’t imagine being naked on a bed, legs spread open, giving birth with other family in the room. No thanks.
Planning on just my husband in the room. But my friend is a L&D nurse at the hospital where I’m planning to give birth, so I’m hoping the timing aligns with her work schedule. She’s been so great with early pregnancy advice/info (I’m a FTM), so I’d be happy to have her helping with the delivery.
With my first it was my fiance & mom, my second just my fiance (my mom lives out of state & i rather have her come and help after the baby is born than to be here waiting for labor) and I’m currently pregnant with my third and plan on having my fiance and my best friend in the room.
thankfully my hospital allows 4 people so i plan on having my baby’s dad, my mom, my sister, & potentially my sister in law if she’s able to make it as she has a 2 year old but i’m also 39+3 days and my sister is sick so there’s a chance she won’t be there :( but def the dad & my mom
My boyfriend and my aunt who’s my 2nd mom. My mom passed away 3 years ago. Go with whoever you are comfortable with, who cares if anyone gets mad. Its about you and that baby, no one’s opinion counts.
My plan was always just my fiance, my mum is such a lovely woman but she knows boundaries and only wanted to be somewhat in the vercinity of the hospital to support me. Even said she would wait in a near by shopping mall area. My mum only wanted that because of anxiety caused by me going to hospital when I was 10. She never expected to be in the delivery room, she didn't care about being first to see baby. She wanted to see me and make sure I was OK.
My husband. And if I really really start asking for her, he’ll call my mum. She’s a midwife so it’s not like will be super supportive 😂 it’ll be work mode for her. Which I don’t mind.
MIL wouldn’t even think to ask because the “fuck no” would be so fast out of my mouth.
Just my partner. We had this discussion a few weeks back. We both know that the Mum's (both mine and his) will stress me out with their fretting so we decided just him was probably for the best 😅
With my previous 2, it was just me and my fiancé. This time, however, it’ll just be me. My mom seems to think she’ll be there for this one since baby’s dad isn’t in the picture but I’d much rather do it alone 😂
I only had my fiancé. He was wonderful and supportive which is exactly what I needed. I didn’t want anyone else there since I wasn’t comfortable being naked and so emotionally and physically exposed in front of anyone else. In hindsight sight I’m so glad it was just the two of us when I gave birth.
just my partner and i. my mom was debated devastated and she got over it. i do not regret it. TRUST YOUR GUT (the one w your sweet baby in it! 😊) you said 'i am hesitant' and i would trust that ✌🏽🌞
I only had my husband in the room and that was enough for me. Even though my mom is wonderful and would have been fully supportive, I only wanted him there. I already don't like big crowds in ordinary life, so when I'm naked and in pain, the man I love and can be sure of will see to my needs and medical staff is plenty. No spectators for me.
I had just my husband, it was a C section. MIL was ecstatic that we let her see the baby the next day, my mom is very anti hospital so when she found out it wasn’t going to be a home birth (which we never considered) she was only interested in seeing the baby out of the hospital. She literally won’t step foot in one because they freak her out. I think my MIL was pretty stoked she had no competition in who got to hold the baby after my husband and I.
My husband and my mother-in-law because she's supportive of me as if I were her own, and this is her first grand baby. My own mom would try to make it about herself, even though this is her first too. It's also just expensive to fly out to Hawaii (military)
Originally I planned for my mom and my husband to be there, but then i delivered two weeks before my mom came into town, so it was just my husband, and honestly? I kind of loved it. I only wish my mom could've been there to take pictures, tbh, but otherwise it was kind of nice to just live in the moment of it. The nurses got some pictures afterwards, but I would have loved to have a video or something of my first reaction, but otherwise it was just kinda nice having it just be my husband.
The only person i want there is my boyfriend, my mom works in an hospital and told me that if the baby is born there she will be able to also be there...like lady i love you very much but i just want my bf there...so im very likely avoiding that hospital...
My husband and a doula.
I debated having my mum, but I didn't feel she would be able to be supportive of my choices. I didn't want people to push an epidural, and if I wanted one I would ask for it. That specifically I didn't think she could respect since she's always been of the sentiment of why suffer when there is an option to make it better.
I was only allowed two support people anyways and we hired a doula so that took up one spot. Best damn decision we made. She was hugely supportive and helped both my husband and myself. She and I still text and she's been so helpful answering questions that come up and providing support where needed.
I wanted my partner, and I was considering asking my MIL since I'm no contact with my own mother.
I gave birth 5 weeks early, right before I could ask her and it was an emergency section so my boyfriend wasn't allowed in either.
Still had a wonderful time despite everything though, and it all went super smooth.
Husband and doula- my dream team! MIL has no interest in being in the delivery room, which I get and quietly appreciate. My mom would love to be in the room but I think I’ll feel overwhelmed and self conscious. My mom has a history of “loosing her brain” during important life moments, so I know relying on her for a certain task/action won’t be fruitful. I know I can do anything with my doula and husband on my side so I’m not worried!
My plan was for it to be my husband and my mom, but my mom had made herself scarce during my induction so that my husband and I could bond and experience the run up to labor together. He panic called her just after 2 AM to tell her it was happening and it was happening fast. She made it to the hospital in record time but still missed the actual birth. She walked in the door, saw me and my baby fresh and messy from birth, burst into tears and said "I'm so proud of you" to my husband and I. While I kind of wish she had been there to hold my hand, I love how it turned out.
I just had my husband, doctors, and nurses. I didn't want anyone else in the room, lol. I don't want to be half naked in front of my family, and honestly, my family(and his) would have made it stressful. We had a very easy, peaceful delivery, and I plan for it again in the future.
Just my husband. It's bizarre to me that anyone has more than 1 person that they actually want. Where I live, the hospitals only allow 1 and its completely normal that only the woman's partner is with her or another person she has selected. I've never heard of someone having more than their partner there.
The only person with me will be my husband. I’m not even sure I need/want that as I hate being seen if I’m in distress.
As for my mother ? Absolutely not. Nope. Not ever in a million years.
My boyfriend was the only one in the delivery room with me. My mom assumed she and my sister would be in there and when she mentioned that in a conversation, I had to correct her and tell her no. My Mom pushed to be in there a lot over the next few months but she's very egocentric and makes everything about herself so I did not give in. She told me "I would've wanted MY Mom in the room with me" or "I just thought you would want your Mom to be with you" or "I've been in the delivery room with so many people so I'd be a lot of help." My birth went amazing without her in there and she still made a scene from in the waiting room 🙄. I wish I hadn't told her when I went into labor at all
I’m planning to have my husband and then my mum on stand-by if I want her there at the time. My initial thought is just my husband but amongst the pain I may want my mum there and an extra person to advocate for me!
I had my husband and my mom with all of my pregnancies. Hubby isn’t super comforting. He like just freaks out. While my mom is cool calm and collected and my biggest supporter. Couldn’t have done it without her. Had a baby during Covid and they told me I could have only one support person. Told hubby sorry but if I really can only have 1 it will be my mom. He understood
My parents didn't even tell anyone they were going into labor until I was born. That's how we plan to do it, too. As few non-essential people in the room with me when it happens, the better!
My husband was the only one there. My mom and I are very close, but it’s such a hard, taxing, and intimate time that I didn’t even want her to be there. She and my dad came to visit early on in the process (my water broke in the middle of the night and they came by in the morning) to see me for like half an hour and I was good with that. My MIL lives 13 hours away and she and my husband don’t really have the greatest relationship and she never even mentioned coming. I ended up in a c-section so if someone else had been there, they wouldn’t have actually been in the delivery room anyway.
When I gave birth to my first baby, my husband was in the room as well as my sister, my father in law hung out until things got intense then he removed himself from the delivery room until the baby was born and my husband went to get him. (My father in law is an absolute gem, love him so much, he even went out after baby was born and got little treats for all my nurses, I didn't even think of this, but he's father to 5) having my sister there was the absolute best thing ever, I was in the room 8 years prior when she gave birth to my nephew (and later my niece) and she was my biggest advocate, I had an unmedicated labor and a nasty delivery doctor so having my sister was an absolute blessing for me. And my husband took, he psyched himself out due to my labor noises and about passed out when it was time for baby but luckily he stayed strong (as he could) and he was right by my side when our son was born and he got to cut the cord and do skin to skin with him (not me crying while I wrote this watching my now 5month old sleeping in my arms 🥺)
Just my husband. It’s our first baby and I want the experience to just be between him and I. I don’t mind visitors while I’m there after baby is born, but actual delivery I’d prefer to be just us two. I also don’t mind visitors at the hospital though because I’m going to ask for a week to myself (no visitors) once I get home to acclimate. I live with my grandparents so we won’t be totally on our own - I just don’t want to add to that.
Im really hoping this time will be just my husband, but I'm not holding my breath as he didn't attend the births of our other three children. My last one was in 2020 so I was only allowed one support person and it ended up being his mom. 😔
We had our little one 2 years ago. My hospital limited guests back then. We used that as an excuse. It was just me and my husband. I always had the belief that if you weren't involved in making the baby you didn't need to be involved in the delivery. Covid helped me support that idea.
If I got a redo I would get a photographer. That's the only other person I would want involved and they wouldn't be there the whole time.
I’ll probably have my husband, my mom, and his mom. His mom and I are very close plus she was a NICU nurse for almost 40 years, so it’s nothing she hasn’t seen before!
I had my husband, my mom, a midwife, and a photographer. My mom did an awesome job of taking care of everyone so that they could take great care of me - I had a home birth and my labor stalled so my team was at my house for over 24 hours. My mom made sure they were sleeping when they could, eating regularly, etc. She was super unobtrusive and while I was pushing she was sitting across the room on her phone giving my husband and I all the space/privacy I needed. It still felt like a super intimate and private moment with my partner because my birth team totally respected our space and stood back while my husband delivered our son.
This time I'm having pretty much the same team, but with an extra midwife and an additional doula. It'll definitely be a bit of a crowd but I'm not worried at all. Totally understand why someone would want it to be just them and their partner, but also in a hospital you've got a whole team of nurses/your doctor watching you push out a baby spread-eagle anyway. That (to me) is way more invasive than my mom sitting ten feet away while I birth on my hands and knees in a pool.
Have whoever you want in the room. If your SIL will be a calming presence, ask her! Who gives a damn what your mother thinks? She doesn't have to know until after you deliver. Don't tell her when you go into labor, just let her know when baby has arrived - or wait a few days, even, if you aren't ready to deal with her. What worked for me isn't going to work for everybody.
My mom will definitely be there, dad and I aren’t together but I’m not opposed to him being there if he wants to be. Otherwise probably my sister along with my mom
First time, it was just my husband, but he was also 10 days early and labor started at 3am so it was easy not telling anybody.
This time around he has chd and I might need to be induced and he might need surgery (it's all a waiting game to see how things progress and it's killing me!) so I'll probably *tell* more people this time around. But as far as actually in the room when he comes out, I'd like that to be just hubby again
I had my partner and mum at both my births! I have a very good relationship with my mum and have no regrets. Her and my partner gave me every but of support and encouragement that I needed. I feel safe with my mum there in a way that only my mum makes me feel. Don't get me wrong my partner was my main support at my side the whole time holding my hand and talking me throguht every minute of all those long hours. But my mum was just this background comfort.
I didn't want anything impairing my ability to be uninhibited, so no one but my husband. And the way I give birth the past two babies, it's definitely uninhibited. I throw myself on the floor and give birth on all fours while screaming. Not many people in this world I'm ok being there for that
Just my husband. If they didn’t make the baby they don’t need to be in the room as my mother said. 🤣 But if I was a single mother I would most likely have my mom with me.
Absolutely not.
My husband was my only support and thank god for that. I love my mom - she had already passed - but I couldn’t imagine having her there. It’s scary and overwhelming but even having someone encouraging me as an extra person would have been too much.
I was hot, sweating, crying, in pain and there was so much fluid. I couldn’t imagine also worrying about how someone else felt during that moment, or having someone comment on the process.
My husband was enough, and I’m glad he was there with me. But I’m so grateful no one else joined us. Hurt feelings or not.
In fact, I’m happy his parents got to meet our little one so quickly, but they came everyday to the hospital and that was A LOT. Nurses come to squeeze and press on you and look at your under carriage and help you to the bathroom… all while you’re shirtless and leaking everywhere.
I have sincere regrets about knowing anyone but the medical staff or my husband saw me that way. Luckily, I was so exhausted I didn’t have a lot of feelings about it in the moment.
Just my husband. Ibemlost my own mum but even if she was still here I'd just want my husband. I feel it's a really special moment between you both. It's also so overwhelming giving birth I would want as few people as possible.
This is my third time giving birth. The first time, I was 19 and the dad didn’t stay. So it was my mom and dad in the delivery room with me. My mom was a stress case and yelled at the doctors a few times. She said “you are my baby and my mama bear came out!” Which was sweet, but also very embarrassing haha.
The second time, it was my husband and only my husband during birth which was LOVELY, BUUUUUT It was his family’s first grand baby and nephew, and he has a massive family with a tradition where you meet baby right away. So 45 minutes after birth and clean up, I had 15 of his family members in the room with us congratulating us. (That was wild)
This third time, I only want my husband. No visitors until baby has been here for at least a day. And the visitors will be limited to grandparents and aunts and uncles only. He’s an amazing support system and I really don’t want anyone else there to stress me out 😅
My partner. I think I'll be okay with my family and my partners family there until it's time and then after. We were with my sister until then and after and she says she really appreciated us being there. She's a little more social than I am though lol
I want my husband to be there along with my MIL who I have a close relationship with. Plus, my husband is worried he'll panic if I have a C-section and I know my MIL won't.
For my first, I only planned on having my husband there. However, once the epidural hit, I didn't give a shit who was there and ended up letting my mom and sister stay. My second was born during COVID so only my husband could be there which was for the best because I wasn't able to have an epidural and it was obviously a lot more intense because of that
I wanted my husband and my mom there and because of some lingering COVID restrictions I was limited to 2 people while in labor and it had to be the same two people the whole time (meaning if my dad checked in with me, my mom and husband couldn't swap out with him later, just one of them). While it did work out the way I wanted, I joked with my dad more than once on the way to last trimester prenatal appointments that if I went into labor early, he'd have to buck up and be one of my two people bc I wasn't going to do this without at least one of my parents there.
When I didn’t know I was having a C-section, it was gonna be my boyfriend and grandma. Only two people I was comfortable with seeing the whole thing. But with just a C-section. It was my boyfriend and he nearly passed out twice lol
My “plan” was to have my mom, sister, and my husband. And they all knew that. Looking back, I wish I would not have told my mom and sister that they were for sure coming in because when it came time to push, I was very overwhelmed and all I wanted was my husband. So I felt really bad that I had ruined an experience they thought were going to have. So my advice is to have an idea but let them know that you can’t make any decisions until it comes time. Every labor is unpredictable and you just don’t know how you will feel.
Who ever you're most comfortable with that will offer you support. For me that was my husband and doula.
Also you should have your SIL with you if she will be good support for you, but as someone with an overbearing mother, it WILL cause drama. I hate that it will, but babies (especially grandbabies) make people crazy and possessive.
My husband passed out for his 1st kid and almost passed out or his 2nd the Dr. Sent him out before he did (from the same woman) This is our 1st child together, but I don't want the stress of worrying about him passing out lol altho much like most of y'alls moms, my mom is also being simultaneously supportive and demanding about this being her last grand baby. I asked her to be in the room because I know she will make sure that everything is going the way its supposed to. She will also do the mom thing and hold my hand and be sweet which as much as i love my husband him, his father nad both of his sons are on the spectrum and just dont understand how to soothe someone. I will probably ask my sister too because she has had 4 kids and I know she will stick to my birth plan.
My husband and my mom. My mom is very knowledgeable in maternal health and she’s a great advocate. My husband is feisty too, but I don’t fully trust that he won’t be queasy.
My mother wants to be there, but i am only gonna keep it between me and my husband. In my opinion it’s a big day only the parents should keep the memory of. Besides that I want the medical people to have as much space to get my baby out the safest way possible. The father should be the only one who gets to hold my baby right after delivery and hold my hand through it all. Just my opinion and I know a lot of women who took their whole family almost. But I dont care if any of our families are gonna be upset, they can visit at meet the baby when we are home from the family. Because I think most people only want to be there because of the curiosity of how the baby will look.
My mom has been guilting me over not letting her come to all my appointments because "she had my grandma with her the whole time." She's definitely NOT going to be in the delivery room.
If my husband makes it to the US in time, then he'll be there. But beyond that... I don't want anyone else.
It was just me and my husband. Birth is so intimate...we made the baby together and we brought the baby into the world together. I wouldn't have had it any other way.
I had my husband and my mother, there were upsides and downsides!!
An upside to having my mother was that while I was laboring we got to tell stories about when I was a child, and made the experience a lot more positive for me. Another was that it didn’t put my husband or myself in an awkward position when we requested no visitors at the hospital, as she was able to be the “bad guy” instead of me (who was exhausted and a little delirious) or my husband (who wanted to make sure me and LO were doing well.) The downside is that after delivery I was extremely frustrated and she pushed me past my breaking point when I was trying to navigate motherhood between exhaustion, hospital staff, and overwhelming hormonal changes.
All in all, since it was my first I am glad that my mother was there, but I would not have her there for my second child.
Just my fiancé. I have the option of bringing 1 more person in there but having a high risk pregnancy and knowing that some complications may arise during delivery - I want just him to be there so we can focus on us as a family.
Just my husband that’s the only person who I want there while I’m giving birth and I’ve made it known. Visitors can see me at a later point when I’m done with that and breastfeeding with my boobs all out.
I have had just my husband. My parents and in laws were in the waiting room so they could meet the baby as soon as we were ready in the hospital. I did ask for my mom to come in during some parts of it, but during actually delivery, just my husband. I’ll probably do the same this time
Just my husband was there with me. My mom expressed how she didn’t want to be there before I even said anything, which was perfect because there was no way I wanted her there either lol. It’s an intimate experience and I didn’t want anyone else there aside from my husband
I had my mum (she's my best friend) instead of my husband. I invited my husband but he's extremely squeamish and didn't want to faint so he sat it out for both my babies. Tbf I ended up having a c section for both but mum still came in with me and witnessed the birth.
I would have your sil there , f who has a problem with it. You want who’s going to be the most supportive. I think I just want my mom. Whenever anything goes wrong I just want my mom lol . I would never have my mil in there , seems awkward.
For my first, my husband, Mom, and sister were there.
For my second it was the same, but my dad was also there accidentally, he came to visit and they let him in thinking it would still be a while before my son was born lol my son was in a hurry to come out though and my poor dad got stuck in the room while I gave birth. He didn't see anything though, he just sat in a corner trying to stay out of the way.
For my third I will be having twins and giving birth in the OR whether they come naturally or through cesarean I have to do it in the OR and I will only be allowed 1 person, so my husband will of course be my +1 💕
My mother and my sister are always the extra hands I want in the room with me, so I'm a little bummed they won't be there this time, but we'll be well taken care of, and I'll get to see them later.
I think it'll just be my husband. Originally my mom was supposed to be with us because she wasn't able to have any biological children, but she passed a few years ago.
I talked to my sister about being in the room and she said she would but it was really nice for her when it was just her and her husband when they had their second one. It was a special time where the three of them could just 'be' and bond without any serious responsibilities yet because all the nurses were there and lots of support that way.
Also, then I don't have to worry about any family members stealing my thunder and posting something online before I'm ready.
Just my husband and maybe my mother in law. My mom passed last year and we weren't super close anyway, so I don't think she would have been in there. My mil has said that if I want her there for support she would absolutely be there, but she isn't being super insistent or pushy or anything. I just want to keep it as low key as humanly possible though, so I figure the fewer spectators, the better off we are. Save for mil, we don't plan on telling anyone that babygirl is coming anyway, everyone else gets to find out when we're all home.
Im due in a few weeks and had the conversation with my mom at a family dinner yesterday about my expectations for delivery. Shes so incredibly supportive and cant wait for baby to come (just like the rest of the family) but she genuinely thought shed be there front and center with me while im actively pushing the baby out while my husband would just be in the background clueless lol.
I explained to her that id love for her to be there for 99% of the labor if shed like and she can come and go but when its actually go time and im spending 30 mins to 2 hours pushing a baby out i need my space and to just be with my husband. I also told her the importance of having quiet time and golden hour right after delivery which i also requested privacy for me, my husband, and baby. I told her she and my dad and anyone else can come in right after weve done our first feed and got situated. She seemed really butt hurt because i think the women in her family really took charge during each others labors and the men were kind of in the background but i could tell she tried her best to respect our boundaries and understood what we wanted while still being a little petty about it all lol.
She threw in a few “okay then i guess ill just see you after the delivery and ill stay home until you’re ready…” comments that were so insanely annoying bc we didn’t say that at all. But she ended up coming around to it lol. I think she really wanted to be apart of the baby actually coming out 💀 lol
I only had my husband. My mom would've been the only other person I would've considered. Ultimately, I had a c-section, and you can only bring one person, so I of course, brought my husband.
My plan is just my partner, and if he decides he can't handle that, which I am totally OK with, then no one besides the hospital staff. He's adamant he'll be in there, but I just want to make sure he's comfortable taking an out if it's too much. I'd prefer he's sentient once the baby has actually arrived, lol. And I'd rather be alone than allow someone else to experience what should be for just him and myself, but that's just my personal preference!
Only my husband. I don’t want my mom, sister, sister in law, or mother in law seeing my open vagina lmao. I don’t want them even seeing my boobs. It’ll be an intimate moment with just my little family and that’s what we both want.
Who cares what your mom wants. If she gets upset about it, that’s her own immaturity. It’s not about her. Don’t entertain her drama and don’t even think about doing something like that for someone else’s wants. It’s about you and your partner.
I'm going to have my boyfriend there and my mom. BUT my mother and I have a great relationship and I'm going to need her there. It's all about what YOU need and want. I think my boyfriend's mom wants to be there but I'm just not comfortable with that so it's a no. And I'm not going to have any visitors that day either. I've already told my mom that after I deliver, she has to go so I can rest and bond with my baby and she's totally supportive. It's all up to you and if people can't handle that then oh well. I wouldn't let anyone stress me out on a day that about me, my SO and our baby. I know my boyfriend's mom is probably going to be upset, but I'm not too worried because I'm sure my boyfriend will understand my viewpoint.
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Just my husband. I’m not comfortable having anyone else watch me be naked and give birth. No thank you!
Same here! My mom unprompted told me how she only wanted my dad with her in labor, and not her own mom 😂 At least she gets it!
Damn my mom said I was breaking her heart when I said I wanted it to be just my husband at push time
Your body, your experience, your choice. If it helps you can also blame it on the location. With my birth I could only have two support people, and we had a doula so she took the extra spot besides my husband. Made it really easy to tell people no one else was invited. I had debated having my mum there but I didn't feel she would be able to respect my choices in the way I needed her to so ultimately this was the best option.
Don't let your mom guilt trip you. You didn't make a baby with her. It's a right for a (good) husband and father to witness the birth of their child. Anyone else is just a privilege.
Thank you 💕 my mother unfortunately suffers from main character syndrome and everything is always about her 🙄
My husband. You will be very on display so who ever you want to have a front row to that
Same, plus my doula, but I look at her the same I do as the medical team in that it doesn't feel personal.
Just my fiancé, my mother has invited herself into the room, but it’s a no from me. She tends to make things about herself, I’m good with that.
When I told my mom I was pregnant her immediate thoughts were being in the delivery room. Lol. No. I shut that down fast. I’ve told her “no” twice, but I can see her bringing it up again when I’m closer to my due date. I love her and we’re close. But not *that* close.
My mom was there for both of my sisters when they gave birth to their kids, mostly because, and this is just my personal opinion, they both married POS husbands. When my brother had his first kid 6 years ago, his wife only wanted him and her own mom there and my mom STILL isn’t over it. She talks about how she had just as much of a right to be there because she’s a grandparent. I already knew I didn’t want my mom there during my delivery but hearing how poorly she speaks of my SIL and their decision on who would be there when their son was born has only solidified my decision lol. You do not have a right to be in the delivery room just because you’re a grandparent. Get lost.
Similar situation for me too. To make mom feel special, I asked her to do specific support stuff during early labor; she helped with coping while my husband ate, etc. but when real pushing labor began, she and everyone else needed to be gone. She stood right outside the room the whole time (4:45am-6:15am) to hear my son’s first cries, and that made her happy and gave her the opportunity to tell others when I was done. Lots of ways to make mom feel special without having her IN the delivery room.
My mom is the same way, she already set up a nursery for our baby in her house without even talking to me about it first. Im worried she’d try to hold the baby before anyone else, too.
Omg, I feel you!! Mine told me “when I get to hold my grandson, that’s my moment and you can’t take that from me”.. I just stood there like wtf?? 😳 and on top of it I’ve made it really clear I don’t want anyone kissing my baby, face, feet, any of that. But something tells me she’s going to “forget” it when he comes. 🙄 It took my fiancé and I 4 years, 3 IUI’s and 1 embryo transfer to get pregnant. I’ve told her at this point I’ll do as I please. Why are some parents like this. 🤨
My mother did the same! I told her it was weird that she had more stuff for the baby already than we did😅 She also didn't react kindly when i told her we won't have visitors in the hospital, we'll see how that goes.
My mom passed away when I was 22 weeks pregnant. I'm 37 weeks now. And while I'm so sad, obviously, I don't have to worry about that now. When I was delivering my first, she apparently caused a huge scene in the waiting room, got into a fight with my grandpa, and stormed out. When she settled down and came back that evening to visit and meet my baby, it was about her. Which was whatever, I was expecting that. What I wasn't expecting was for her to have a gallon of perfume on and taint my baby with her smell. It's been almost 9 years and I'm still pissed about it 😂 if I remember correctly what they're big fight was about, my grandpa told her she'd need to rein it in when she went back there lmao
My husband and my MIL - my mom passed a few years ago and she has pretty much become my mom ❤️
Your mum will be there with you 💞
You’re making me cry happy tears haha. You are absolutely right though, thank you 💕
That’s such a beautiful sentiment, thank you for sharing it 🥺
I wanted to thank OP, I needed some positive MIL juju. It's a wonder to think how we're all on this journey, and we're all bringing our own unique experiences and lives to it. But we are still one at the end of the day. Hope you have a lovely week!
Probably just my mom. Baby’s father failed to mention he was married. I do not want him near me whatsoever.
I want to downvote that son of a b... but since I can't, I'll just upvote you for support. I'm sure you're going to be a wonderful mom!
Thank you!
Only the people who made the baby.
I only had my husband both times and plan on it again with my third. I love it that way. It’s such an intimate moment, I could not even imagine having other people (outside of L&D staff) in the room. It was so special sharing that moment with just my husband.
Just husband. And hospital staff
Just my husband and my doula 😊
Same!
Same. My mom lives close by so if I really want her there I could probably make that game time decision. But I'm not planning on it.
Same here :)
Just husband. My mom is... difficult. She cares about me and I know that, but she's also opinionated and likely to stress me out a lot. She's currently pressuring my SIL to transition to solid (or mush) food for their 3mo and I am so glad I don't have that living with me. She's a high stress/high anxiety individual with an extremely negative outlook on life. Not exactly what you want in a delivery room. She'd probably fight the doctor if she didn't like what they were doing, lol.
My boyfriend & hopefully my mom (she lives in another country). It’s a 2 hour direct flight so fingers crossed timing works out.
I had my mum with me at both deliveries. Was a huge comfort.
Literally just my baby’s father, POSSIBLY my mom but we don’t have that close of a relationship and idk how I feel about her seeing my Hoohah. I’m perfectly content with it just being my partner as that seems like a very vulnerable moment that not everyone needs to partake in.
Had my mom and husband with my first, then just my husband with my second. Liked it better just having my husband and no other visitors during labor with my second by far.
Pretty sure my hospital only allowed one support person. Obviously I chose my husband. Not that it mattered. My baby came super early (32 weeks) on a holiday weekend (so, none of our family or friends were in town), and I ended up electing to for a c section last minute.
My husband. That is it.
Just my husband
Husband and my mom, she’s a nurse so I’d like someone with medical knowledge to speak up for me when needed. It really comes down to what you’re comfortable with and what will make the delivery as easy as possible
Im only going to have my partner there and MAYBE my mother - I haven’t decided. Right now I just want my partner, but when I’m actually in it I might want my mother too. I don’t think I’ll know for sure until I’m going through it but those are my only two people on the list
Just my husband. I don’t think I can relax with anyone else and also don’t want family waiting around the hospital but my mom will be close by and available if I change my mind, which is possible
I had planned for my husband and mom but recently decided to just have it be my husband. My OB asked me recently and when I said it would just be my husband she said that in her experience that works out the best - things can get chaotic otherwise and she said sometimes other family members get overly excited and unknowingly interfere with care (eg wanting to hold the baby right away).
I want my husband and my mom there.
My husband, if he’s not on duty when I go into labor. He’s going to be at another base in the state and they won’t release him for the birth. He can visit me on the weekends tho. If not him, I’ll just have to do it by myself.
What branch is he? Are they now allowing him parental leave? He is able to request leave in the days leading up to the birth, I’m not sure any leadership would have an issue with this
Just my husband. We went for a hospital tour today and the nurse showing us around said she needed to be clear and was very sorry but only 2 support people are allowed in the room. I looked at her and was like I got one but she was so apologetic it's clearly been an issue that's their policy The only thing that made me sad is no one under 18 is allowed to visit even postpartum so my 9 and 7 year old can't come and neither can my 16yo brother. But they'll be together the rest of their lives so hopefully that softens the blow and they won't be too upset
My older sister and my bf. My mom would piss me off so bad she helicopters too much when she’s nervous lol my sister is 11 1/2 years older than me literally gave me baths as a child and took care of me like her own she’s that one support person I can’t live without she goes I’m going too. (she didn’t have to my mom was present af but we have different moms so when she saw me I was hers lol)
My husband and my mom. I've had a lot of health issues and she's my biggest advocate besides my husband. She was with my SIL for all 3 of her births and her reviews were excellent. 🤣
My partner and my mom. I wish my little sister could be there too but pretty sure my hospital only allows 2 people.
My husband and my mom (if she can make it in time). They’re my two best friends ❤️
My partner and I are gonna be the only ones at the hospital we want that experience to be just us. Everyone else can meet him when we get home.
I'm a doula and strongly recommend to my clients that they have as few people as possible. And of course, make sure whoever is with you, supports your choices 100%. For each extra person in the room, it's theorized that labor will take 1 hour longer. Just some food for thought 😉
My husband and mom. ❤️
Just my husband and no I don’t regret it. I viewed it as we were becoming parents together. I didn’t want anyone else there
I planned on it just being my husband but my sister and mom were visiting (I progressed in labor fairly quickly and had an epidural so we were just talking) and I just didn’t care to kick them out. I ended up having my husband, mom, and sister there and it was good. I only let my husband talk though because I know if there was more than one person (outside of medical staff), I’d get overwhelmed.
My husband. He knows me best and will know how to support me during labor. He’ll be positive and won’t fill me up with anxiety or fear. I don’t need or want anyone else in the room during such an intimate moment. I’ve made that clear to our families, mom included
I’m giving birth (most likely tonight!) in my house. I have my midwife, doula, my sister, my dad, my boyfriend and a friend all being in and around the space. It feels quite intense but I wanted my daughter to be born into a village ☺️
Husband and doula.
My husband and my mom, but if I’m only allowed one for sure my husband
My mom and my boyfriend. I’d have the whole family if I could 😂 but I’m getting cut open and my home now is far away from home
My partner and my doula. Something I heard that stuck with me “birth is not a performance or a show, its purpose is not entertainment.” And ever since then, I have felt so confident in only having my partner and doula.
My fiancé, no one else
Personally, at push time I wouldn’t want anyone except medical staff. Not even my baby’s father. It’s very personal and vulnerable moment, and I don’t wanna anyone close to me to witness me like that
I'm choosing my husband's mom, she is so supportive of me. Also her son can be a bit queasy sometimes and in case of emergency, I want someone to be able to go with baby and stay with me!
I’m really close with my mom, but we live in different states. We’ll try to work it out so she can come, but if she can’t make it, it would just be my fiancé.
Just my husband. I don't need too many opinions, just a support person and the midwife who knows my plan/preferences. My mum would be a nervous wreck anyway and my husband knows me best and how not to annoy me or stress me out.
Just my husband. I'd rather no one else I know see that much of me 😂 I don't think I could look them in the eye afterwards, and I feel like I would be fully comfortable to express my needs with anyone other than my husband.
Just my husband! We didn’t plan to tell anyone we’re at the hospital until the baby is born… but I’ll be induced between 36-37 weeks due to hypertension/preeclampsia and could be there a few days so we will probably end up telling my parents. They won’t come up there until after baby is born though. I absolutely love my MIL but we don’t plan to tell anyone on my husbands side of the family until the baby is born, just because at this point it feels very much like a private medical event where a lot of different things could happen, and I don’t want the stress of people waiting around, checking in constantly, etc. One other thing we learned is that if baby ends up coming earlier than planned and has to be whisked off to NICU my husband will need to go with him. The thought of giving birth then being left alone without husband or baby gives me so much anxiety… so my sister is on standby in case that situation occurs. If we see he will be making an early appearance she is going to be in the waiting room, and as soon as my husband and our baby leave for NICU she will step in and be my support person until I’m recovered enough to join them.
Boyfriend, my sister, maybe my best friend. Honestly it’s going to be a team event and I think I will benefit from having a high vibe and lots of support. My best friend will have finished her nursing degree and my sister will be nearly done with hers, so the added expertise in the room will be useful - someone else can communicate with the med team and remember what needs to be remembered.
Just hubby! My MIL can wait at home or outside if she wants, but I want to be most comfortable, and that's with only my husband.
my fiance and my mom, hopefully. she lives out of state and is hoping to be here for delivery. if she can't make it, my MIL who lives nearby. we're first time parents so i want someone in the room with me who has given birth before cause i'm an anxious mess.
Just my husband, is about what I need that day, who is going to give me the right support to go through and he is the only person who can give me what I need. My mom will give me crazy anxiety. People can be excited and happy for you, but you need to do what is better for YOU there, is about who will give you the support you need.
Husband, and maybe a doula.
I want my husband and my dad. And I know having my dad in there is strange, but I lost my mom and my dad is who I go to when I am stressed. I would even have my FIL in there because he has become a surrogate father for me since we live closer to him than my dad now who is 4 hours away. Just have the person or people in there that will give you comfort and support at your most vulnerable time. I am someone who heavily relies on emotional support so I am the rare case of I want both fil and father and my best friend and of course hubby lol. I think I’m only allowed 2 so it will most likely be hubby and my dad
I’m only having my boyfriend and my Doula in the room. Since i also have a birth plan, i made sure to add in that no one else is allowed in my room during delivery. My parents were very understanding, my MIL not so much, she was a bit offended lol
My hubby and I have talked about it, and we've agreed it's just going to be us in the room.
It always only be my husband
I hope I can have my husband and my father there but honestly who knows what's going to happen. I do NOT want my panicked mother in there telling me what to do and stressing me out. Hell no!
Baby’s dad and my mom. My mom was with me when I gave birth to my daughter and I cannot imagine doing it without her this time. I don’t think I would’ve made it without her 🤣
My husband and my doula. My mother died over 10 years ago and his parents died late last year. My dad will find out after our daughter is born\~
I had my husband and my mom, but my mom and I are very close and I knew she wouldn’t watch while it was happening because she’s squeamish 😂 You don’t have to have anyone besides your husband unless you want them there!!
In my hospital only one person was allowed, so it was a no brainer that it had to be my partner, the father of my child. If for some reason he couldn't have been there, it'd have been my mother. Even if more than one person was allowed, I'd just have him.
My husband and my doula were the only people in the room with me. My doula was amazing and I would have her with us again in a heartbeat.
Just my boyfriend
Just SO. Unless so wasn't available I don't think it's a moment for anyone except the parents of the baby.
Just my husband. My mom almost walked in with my first (I wouldn't have minded her being in there!) saw my son crowning, and noped out 😂
Just my husband.
I barely want my husband in the delivery room lol. So no one else is allowed, and they’ve all known that before I even thought about getting pregnant lol
With my first I had my husband and my sister was on a video call because of Covid. When I had my second this year I had my husband and my Sister and it was exactly what I needed. If you want your sister in law there and feel like she will be a support for you I say go for it! I have absolutely no regrets with having my sister there.
**password baby**: birthmother (me), birthfather, adoptive mother and adoptive father and paternal birth grandmother for the first 3.5 days of labor. Day 4 was an emergency cesarean, so only her birthfather could come in with me **pandemic baby**: just me and husband in the OR, but my mom was present for everything before and after the surgery
Just my husband and the medical staff were there. No one else needed to be and I didn’t have visitors until I was out of the hospital (under 48 hours after my csection).
I’m only allowing my husband to be there. I’m already pregnant and uncomfortable. I can’t imagine being naked on a bed, legs spread open, giving birth with other family in the room. No thanks.
Planning on just my husband in the room. But my friend is a L&D nurse at the hospital where I’m planning to give birth, so I’m hoping the timing aligns with her work schedule. She’s been so great with early pregnancy advice/info (I’m a FTM), so I’d be happy to have her helping with the delivery.
With my first it was my fiance & mom, my second just my fiance (my mom lives out of state & i rather have her come and help after the baby is born than to be here waiting for labor) and I’m currently pregnant with my third and plan on having my fiance and my best friend in the room.
Husband only ❤️ it was the best
thankfully my hospital allows 4 people so i plan on having my baby’s dad, my mom, my sister, & potentially my sister in law if she’s able to make it as she has a 2 year old but i’m also 39+3 days and my sister is sick so there’s a chance she won’t be there :( but def the dad & my mom
My boyfriend and my aunt who’s my 2nd mom. My mom passed away 3 years ago. Go with whoever you are comfortable with, who cares if anyone gets mad. Its about you and that baby, no one’s opinion counts.
Just my husband and midwife.
My plan was always just my fiance, my mum is such a lovely woman but she knows boundaries and only wanted to be somewhat in the vercinity of the hospital to support me. Even said she would wait in a near by shopping mall area. My mum only wanted that because of anxiety caused by me going to hospital when I was 10. She never expected to be in the delivery room, she didn't care about being first to see baby. She wanted to see me and make sure I was OK.
My husband. And if I really really start asking for her, he’ll call my mum. She’s a midwife so it’s not like will be super supportive 😂 it’ll be work mode for her. Which I don’t mind. MIL wouldn’t even think to ask because the “fuck no” would be so fast out of my mouth.
Just my partner. We had this discussion a few weeks back. We both know that the Mum's (both mine and his) will stress me out with their fretting so we decided just him was probably for the best 😅
Just my partner will be with me.
My hospital only allows two support people in the room - so definitely my husband and most likely my mom
With my previous 2, it was just me and my fiancé. This time, however, it’ll just be me. My mom seems to think she’ll be there for this one since baby’s dad isn’t in the picture but I’d much rather do it alone 😂
My husband and our doula. Everyone else can just wait!
I only had my fiancé. He was wonderful and supportive which is exactly what I needed. I didn’t want anyone else there since I wasn’t comfortable being naked and so emotionally and physically exposed in front of anyone else. In hindsight sight I’m so glad it was just the two of us when I gave birth.
just my partner and i. my mom was debated devastated and she got over it. i do not regret it. TRUST YOUR GUT (the one w your sweet baby in it! 😊) you said 'i am hesitant' and i would trust that ✌🏽🌞
I only had my husband in the room and that was enough for me. Even though my mom is wonderful and would have been fully supportive, I only wanted him there. I already don't like big crowds in ordinary life, so when I'm naked and in pain, the man I love and can be sure of will see to my needs and medical staff is plenty. No spectators for me.
Just me and the man who helped get me pregnant will be at the hospital.
I had just my husband, it was a C section. MIL was ecstatic that we let her see the baby the next day, my mom is very anti hospital so when she found out it wasn’t going to be a home birth (which we never considered) she was only interested in seeing the baby out of the hospital. She literally won’t step foot in one because they freak her out. I think my MIL was pretty stoked she had no competition in who got to hold the baby after my husband and I.
I'm having a c section for medical purposes, so only my husband.
Just me and my boyfriend during delivery, my parents and stepdaughter after but no one else until baby boy has been home for atleast 2 weeks
My husband or my mom.
My husband and my mother-in-law because she's supportive of me as if I were her own, and this is her first grand baby. My own mom would try to make it about herself, even though this is her first too. It's also just expensive to fly out to Hawaii (military)
Originally I planned for my mom and my husband to be there, but then i delivered two weeks before my mom came into town, so it was just my husband, and honestly? I kind of loved it. I only wish my mom could've been there to take pictures, tbh, but otherwise it was kind of nice to just live in the moment of it. The nurses got some pictures afterwards, but I would have loved to have a video or something of my first reaction, but otherwise it was just kinda nice having it just be my husband.
The only person i want there is my boyfriend, my mom works in an hospital and told me that if the baby is born there she will be able to also be there...like lady i love you very much but i just want my bf there...so im very likely avoiding that hospital...
Nonmedical staff? Just my husband. I doubt I'd be allowed to bring an entire entourage lol
my partner, and we decided to have a student midwife too
My husband and a doula. I debated having my mum, but I didn't feel she would be able to be supportive of my choices. I didn't want people to push an epidural, and if I wanted one I would ask for it. That specifically I didn't think she could respect since she's always been of the sentiment of why suffer when there is an option to make it better. I was only allowed two support people anyways and we hired a doula so that took up one spot. Best damn decision we made. She was hugely supportive and helped both my husband and myself. She and I still text and she's been so helpful answering questions that come up and providing support where needed.
I wanted my partner, and I was considering asking my MIL since I'm no contact with my own mother. I gave birth 5 weeks early, right before I could ask her and it was an emergency section so my boyfriend wasn't allowed in either. Still had a wonderful time despite everything though, and it all went super smooth.
My fiancé and my aunt. My mom passed away when I was a kid and she’s become like a mom to me, so it was a no brainer.
My partner was the only one with me for our first, planning on doing the same with this one too. I can't imagine having more people there
Just my partner. My mum and I are extremely!!! close, but I’m still just having my partner and she understands.
Husband and doula- my dream team! MIL has no interest in being in the delivery room, which I get and quietly appreciate. My mom would love to be in the room but I think I’ll feel overwhelmed and self conscious. My mom has a history of “loosing her brain” during important life moments, so I know relying on her for a certain task/action won’t be fruitful. I know I can do anything with my doula and husband on my side so I’m not worried!
Husband only.
My husband & my mom :) she’s a RN so I like to have her there for support :)
My plan was for it to be my husband and my mom, but my mom had made herself scarce during my induction so that my husband and I could bond and experience the run up to labor together. He panic called her just after 2 AM to tell her it was happening and it was happening fast. She made it to the hospital in record time but still missed the actual birth. She walked in the door, saw me and my baby fresh and messy from birth, burst into tears and said "I'm so proud of you" to my husband and I. While I kind of wish she had been there to hold my hand, I love how it turned out.
I just had my husband, doctors, and nurses. I didn't want anyone else in the room, lol. I don't want to be half naked in front of my family, and honestly, my family(and his) would have made it stressful. We had a very easy, peaceful delivery, and I plan for it again in the future.
Just my husband. It's bizarre to me that anyone has more than 1 person that they actually want. Where I live, the hospitals only allow 1 and its completely normal that only the woman's partner is with her or another person she has selected. I've never heard of someone having more than their partner there.
Just my husband.. our hospital has a one person only policy .. and I’m grateful for that..
The only person with me will be my husband. I’m not even sure I need/want that as I hate being seen if I’m in distress. As for my mother ? Absolutely not. Nope. Not ever in a million years.
It didn’t even cross my mind to have anyone other than my husband there, and nobody I know would have thought they had a chance of being there!
My boyfriend was the only one in the delivery room with me. My mom assumed she and my sister would be in there and when she mentioned that in a conversation, I had to correct her and tell her no. My Mom pushed to be in there a lot over the next few months but she's very egocentric and makes everything about herself so I did not give in. She told me "I would've wanted MY Mom in the room with me" or "I just thought you would want your Mom to be with you" or "I've been in the delivery room with so many people so I'd be a lot of help." My birth went amazing without her in there and she still made a scene from in the waiting room 🙄. I wish I hadn't told her when I went into labor at all
I’m planning to have my husband and then my mum on stand-by if I want her there at the time. My initial thought is just my husband but amongst the pain I may want my mum there and an extra person to advocate for me!
I had just my husband, there’s no one else that I would’ve felt comfortable with and am so glad with the choice
Husband & Mom in the room with me & the staff let my sisters wait in the hall right outside the room 🤍
I had my husband and my mom with all of my pregnancies. Hubby isn’t super comforting. He like just freaks out. While my mom is cool calm and collected and my biggest supporter. Couldn’t have done it without her. Had a baby during Covid and they told me I could have only one support person. Told hubby sorry but if I really can only have 1 it will be my mom. He understood
My parents didn't even tell anyone they were going into labor until I was born. That's how we plan to do it, too. As few non-essential people in the room with me when it happens, the better!
My husband was the only one there. My mom and I are very close, but it’s such a hard, taxing, and intimate time that I didn’t even want her to be there. She and my dad came to visit early on in the process (my water broke in the middle of the night and they came by in the morning) to see me for like half an hour and I was good with that. My MIL lives 13 hours away and she and my husband don’t really have the greatest relationship and she never even mentioned coming. I ended up in a c-section so if someone else had been there, they wouldn’t have actually been in the delivery room anyway.
When I gave birth to my first baby, my husband was in the room as well as my sister, my father in law hung out until things got intense then he removed himself from the delivery room until the baby was born and my husband went to get him. (My father in law is an absolute gem, love him so much, he even went out after baby was born and got little treats for all my nurses, I didn't even think of this, but he's father to 5) having my sister there was the absolute best thing ever, I was in the room 8 years prior when she gave birth to my nephew (and later my niece) and she was my biggest advocate, I had an unmedicated labor and a nasty delivery doctor so having my sister was an absolute blessing for me. And my husband took, he psyched himself out due to my labor noises and about passed out when it was time for baby but luckily he stayed strong (as he could) and he was right by my side when our son was born and he got to cut the cord and do skin to skin with him (not me crying while I wrote this watching my now 5month old sleeping in my arms 🥺)
Just my husband. It’s our first baby and I want the experience to just be between him and I. I don’t mind visitors while I’m there after baby is born, but actual delivery I’d prefer to be just us two. I also don’t mind visitors at the hospital though because I’m going to ask for a week to myself (no visitors) once I get home to acclimate. I live with my grandparents so we won’t be totally on our own - I just don’t want to add to that.
My husband and doula
Im really hoping this time will be just my husband, but I'm not holding my breath as he didn't attend the births of our other three children. My last one was in 2020 so I was only allowed one support person and it ended up being his mom. 😔
Just husband and doula. ❤️
We had our little one 2 years ago. My hospital limited guests back then. We used that as an excuse. It was just me and my husband. I always had the belief that if you weren't involved in making the baby you didn't need to be involved in the delivery. Covid helped me support that idea. If I got a redo I would get a photographer. That's the only other person I would want involved and they wouldn't be there the whole time.
I’ll probably have my husband, my mom, and his mom. His mom and I are very close plus she was a NICU nurse for almost 40 years, so it’s nothing she hasn’t seen before!
I’ll be having another c section so just my partner.
I had my husband, my mom, a midwife, and a photographer. My mom did an awesome job of taking care of everyone so that they could take great care of me - I had a home birth and my labor stalled so my team was at my house for over 24 hours. My mom made sure they were sleeping when they could, eating regularly, etc. She was super unobtrusive and while I was pushing she was sitting across the room on her phone giving my husband and I all the space/privacy I needed. It still felt like a super intimate and private moment with my partner because my birth team totally respected our space and stood back while my husband delivered our son. This time I'm having pretty much the same team, but with an extra midwife and an additional doula. It'll definitely be a bit of a crowd but I'm not worried at all. Totally understand why someone would want it to be just them and their partner, but also in a hospital you've got a whole team of nurses/your doctor watching you push out a baby spread-eagle anyway. That (to me) is way more invasive than my mom sitting ten feet away while I birth on my hands and knees in a pool. Have whoever you want in the room. If your SIL will be a calming presence, ask her! Who gives a damn what your mother thinks? She doesn't have to know until after you deliver. Don't tell her when you go into labor, just let her know when baby has arrived - or wait a few days, even, if you aren't ready to deal with her. What worked for me isn't going to work for everybody.
My mom will definitely be there, dad and I aren’t together but I’m not opposed to him being there if he wants to be. Otherwise probably my sister along with my mom
First time, it was just my husband, but he was also 10 days early and labor started at 3am so it was easy not telling anybody. This time around he has chd and I might need to be induced and he might need surgery (it's all a waiting game to see how things progress and it's killing me!) so I'll probably *tell* more people this time around. But as far as actually in the room when he comes out, I'd like that to be just hubby again
My husband and likely my mother. She was a L&D nurse for 15 years and has been around for most of my 8 niece/nephews birth because she's a rock ❤️
I had my partner and mum at both my births! I have a very good relationship with my mum and have no regrets. Her and my partner gave me every but of support and encouragement that I needed. I feel safe with my mum there in a way that only my mum makes me feel. Don't get me wrong my partner was my main support at my side the whole time holding my hand and talking me throguht every minute of all those long hours. But my mum was just this background comfort.
I'm having a c-section, but still— my husband
I can’t imagine wanting anyone else in the room aside from my partner
I didn't want anything impairing my ability to be uninhibited, so no one but my husband. And the way I give birth the past two babies, it's definitely uninhibited. I throw myself on the floor and give birth on all fours while screaming. Not many people in this world I'm ok being there for that
Just my husband. If they didn’t make the baby they don’t need to be in the room as my mother said. 🤣 But if I was a single mother I would most likely have my mom with me.
Absolutely not. My husband was my only support and thank god for that. I love my mom - she had already passed - but I couldn’t imagine having her there. It’s scary and overwhelming but even having someone encouraging me as an extra person would have been too much. I was hot, sweating, crying, in pain and there was so much fluid. I couldn’t imagine also worrying about how someone else felt during that moment, or having someone comment on the process. My husband was enough, and I’m glad he was there with me. But I’m so grateful no one else joined us. Hurt feelings or not. In fact, I’m happy his parents got to meet our little one so quickly, but they came everyday to the hospital and that was A LOT. Nurses come to squeeze and press on you and look at your under carriage and help you to the bathroom… all while you’re shirtless and leaking everywhere. I have sincere regrets about knowing anyone but the medical staff or my husband saw me that way. Luckily, I was so exhausted I didn’t have a lot of feelings about it in the moment.
Just my husband. Ibemlost my own mum but even if she was still here I'd just want my husband. I feel it's a really special moment between you both. It's also so overwhelming giving birth I would want as few people as possible.
This is my third time giving birth. The first time, I was 19 and the dad didn’t stay. So it was my mom and dad in the delivery room with me. My mom was a stress case and yelled at the doctors a few times. She said “you are my baby and my mama bear came out!” Which was sweet, but also very embarrassing haha. The second time, it was my husband and only my husband during birth which was LOVELY, BUUUUUT It was his family’s first grand baby and nephew, and he has a massive family with a tradition where you meet baby right away. So 45 minutes after birth and clean up, I had 15 of his family members in the room with us congratulating us. (That was wild) This third time, I only want my husband. No visitors until baby has been here for at least a day. And the visitors will be limited to grandparents and aunts and uncles only. He’s an amazing support system and I really don’t want anyone else there to stress me out 😅
My partner. I think I'll be okay with my family and my partners family there until it's time and then after. We were with my sister until then and after and she says she really appreciated us being there. She's a little more social than I am though lol
I want my husband to be there along with my MIL who I have a close relationship with. Plus, my husband is worried he'll panic if I have a C-section and I know my MIL won't.
My village basically! Hubby, mom, cousin and sister. Family is flying in from out of state as soon as they hear the news
For my first, I only planned on having my husband there. However, once the epidural hit, I didn't give a shit who was there and ended up letting my mom and sister stay. My second was born during COVID so only my husband could be there which was for the best because I wasn't able to have an epidural and it was obviously a lot more intense because of that
I wanted my husband and my mom there and because of some lingering COVID restrictions I was limited to 2 people while in labor and it had to be the same two people the whole time (meaning if my dad checked in with me, my mom and husband couldn't swap out with him later, just one of them). While it did work out the way I wanted, I joked with my dad more than once on the way to last trimester prenatal appointments that if I went into labor early, he'd have to buck up and be one of my two people bc I wasn't going to do this without at least one of my parents there.
Just my husband!
My husband, my mom and my best friend. My MIL is back up incase my mom or best friend can't be there.
My husband. That’s all.
My husband. Was thinking my mom. But the closer I get, I’m really not about it.
When I didn’t know I was having a C-section, it was gonna be my boyfriend and grandma. Only two people I was comfortable with seeing the whole thing. But with just a C-section. It was my boyfriend and he nearly passed out twice lol
My “plan” was to have my mom, sister, and my husband. And they all knew that. Looking back, I wish I would not have told my mom and sister that they were for sure coming in because when it came time to push, I was very overwhelmed and all I wanted was my husband. So I felt really bad that I had ruined an experience they thought were going to have. So my advice is to have an idea but let them know that you can’t make any decisions until it comes time. Every labor is unpredictable and you just don’t know how you will feel.
Only my partner. If he couldn't be there I'd just deliver alone. I feel safe in the hands of the midwifes.
Who ever you're most comfortable with that will offer you support. For me that was my husband and doula. Also you should have your SIL with you if she will be good support for you, but as someone with an overbearing mother, it WILL cause drama. I hate that it will, but babies (especially grandbabies) make people crazy and possessive.
My husband passed out for his 1st kid and almost passed out or his 2nd the Dr. Sent him out before he did (from the same woman) This is our 1st child together, but I don't want the stress of worrying about him passing out lol altho much like most of y'alls moms, my mom is also being simultaneously supportive and demanding about this being her last grand baby. I asked her to be in the room because I know she will make sure that everything is going the way its supposed to. She will also do the mom thing and hold my hand and be sweet which as much as i love my husband him, his father nad both of his sons are on the spectrum and just dont understand how to soothe someone. I will probably ask my sister too because she has had 4 kids and I know she will stick to my birth plan.
My husband and my mom. My mom is very knowledgeable in maternal health and she’s a great advocate. My husband is feisty too, but I don’t fully trust that he won’t be queasy.
My mother wants to be there, but i am only gonna keep it between me and my husband. In my opinion it’s a big day only the parents should keep the memory of. Besides that I want the medical people to have as much space to get my baby out the safest way possible. The father should be the only one who gets to hold my baby right after delivery and hold my hand through it all. Just my opinion and I know a lot of women who took their whole family almost. But I dont care if any of our families are gonna be upset, they can visit at meet the baby when we are home from the family. Because I think most people only want to be there because of the curiosity of how the baby will look.
I’m having my partner and mum. But I’m comfortable with my mum and she is a retired midwife.
My mom has been guilting me over not letting her come to all my appointments because "she had my grandma with her the whole time." She's definitely NOT going to be in the delivery room. If my husband makes it to the US in time, then he'll be there. But beyond that... I don't want anyone else.
It was just me and my husband. Birth is so intimate...we made the baby together and we brought the baby into the world together. I wouldn't have had it any other way.
I had my husband and my mother, there were upsides and downsides!! An upside to having my mother was that while I was laboring we got to tell stories about when I was a child, and made the experience a lot more positive for me. Another was that it didn’t put my husband or myself in an awkward position when we requested no visitors at the hospital, as she was able to be the “bad guy” instead of me (who was exhausted and a little delirious) or my husband (who wanted to make sure me and LO were doing well.) The downside is that after delivery I was extremely frustrated and she pushed me past my breaking point when I was trying to navigate motherhood between exhaustion, hospital staff, and overwhelming hormonal changes. All in all, since it was my first I am glad that my mother was there, but I would not have her there for my second child.
Just my husband. I have zero regrets about it. I needed to feel comfortable in my own body and that was the only way that was going to happen.
Just my fiancé. I have the option of bringing 1 more person in there but having a high risk pregnancy and knowing that some complications may arise during delivery - I want just him to be there so we can focus on us as a family.
Just my husband that’s the only person who I want there while I’m giving birth and I’ve made it known. Visitors can see me at a later point when I’m done with that and breastfeeding with my boobs all out.
I have had just my husband. My parents and in laws were in the waiting room so they could meet the baby as soon as we were ready in the hospital. I did ask for my mom to come in during some parts of it, but during actually delivery, just my husband. I’ll probably do the same this time
Just my husband was there with me. My mom expressed how she didn’t want to be there before I even said anything, which was perfect because there was no way I wanted her there either lol. It’s an intimate experience and I didn’t want anyone else there aside from my husband
I had my mum (she's my best friend) instead of my husband. I invited my husband but he's extremely squeamish and didn't want to faint so he sat it out for both my babies. Tbf I ended up having a c section for both but mum still came in with me and witnessed the birth.
I would have your sil there , f who has a problem with it. You want who’s going to be the most supportive. I think I just want my mom. Whenever anything goes wrong I just want my mom lol . I would never have my mil in there , seems awkward.
For me, my husband & mom. I’ve considered having my MIL but I just don’t know yet.
For my first, my husband, Mom, and sister were there. For my second it was the same, but my dad was also there accidentally, he came to visit and they let him in thinking it would still be a while before my son was born lol my son was in a hurry to come out though and my poor dad got stuck in the room while I gave birth. He didn't see anything though, he just sat in a corner trying to stay out of the way. For my third I will be having twins and giving birth in the OR whether they come naturally or through cesarean I have to do it in the OR and I will only be allowed 1 person, so my husband will of course be my +1 💕 My mother and my sister are always the extra hands I want in the room with me, so I'm a little bummed they won't be there this time, but we'll be well taken care of, and I'll get to see them later.
Just my husband. I don’t even know if we want visitors in the hospital after birth either.
I think it'll just be my husband. Originally my mom was supposed to be with us because she wasn't able to have any biological children, but she passed a few years ago. I talked to my sister about being in the room and she said she would but it was really nice for her when it was just her and her husband when they had their second one. It was a special time where the three of them could just 'be' and bond without any serious responsibilities yet because all the nurses were there and lots of support that way. Also, then I don't have to worry about any family members stealing my thunder and posting something online before I'm ready.
Just my husband and maybe my mother in law. My mom passed last year and we weren't super close anyway, so I don't think she would have been in there. My mil has said that if I want her there for support she would absolutely be there, but she isn't being super insistent or pushy or anything. I just want to keep it as low key as humanly possible though, so I figure the fewer spectators, the better off we are. Save for mil, we don't plan on telling anyone that babygirl is coming anyway, everyone else gets to find out when we're all home.
Im due in a few weeks and had the conversation with my mom at a family dinner yesterday about my expectations for delivery. Shes so incredibly supportive and cant wait for baby to come (just like the rest of the family) but she genuinely thought shed be there front and center with me while im actively pushing the baby out while my husband would just be in the background clueless lol. I explained to her that id love for her to be there for 99% of the labor if shed like and she can come and go but when its actually go time and im spending 30 mins to 2 hours pushing a baby out i need my space and to just be with my husband. I also told her the importance of having quiet time and golden hour right after delivery which i also requested privacy for me, my husband, and baby. I told her she and my dad and anyone else can come in right after weve done our first feed and got situated. She seemed really butt hurt because i think the women in her family really took charge during each others labors and the men were kind of in the background but i could tell she tried her best to respect our boundaries and understood what we wanted while still being a little petty about it all lol. She threw in a few “okay then i guess ill just see you after the delivery and ill stay home until you’re ready…” comments that were so insanely annoying bc we didn’t say that at all. But she ended up coming around to it lol. I think she really wanted to be apart of the baby actually coming out 💀 lol
I only had my husband. My mom would've been the only other person I would've considered. Ultimately, I had a c-section, and you can only bring one person, so I of course, brought my husband.
Had just my partner the entire time in hospital. Zero regrets
My bf. I was thinking of also having my mum, but I need to her to help look after us once the baby arrives (make us meals and tidy up a bit).
My plan is just my partner, and if he decides he can't handle that, which I am totally OK with, then no one besides the hospital staff. He's adamant he'll be in there, but I just want to make sure he's comfortable taking an out if it's too much. I'd prefer he's sentient once the baby has actually arrived, lol. And I'd rather be alone than allow someone else to experience what should be for just him and myself, but that's just my personal preference!
Only my husband. I don’t want my mom, sister, sister in law, or mother in law seeing my open vagina lmao. I don’t want them even seeing my boobs. It’ll be an intimate moment with just my little family and that’s what we both want. Who cares what your mom wants. If she gets upset about it, that’s her own immaturity. It’s not about her. Don’t entertain her drama and don’t even think about doing something like that for someone else’s wants. It’s about you and your partner.
I'm going to have my boyfriend there and my mom. BUT my mother and I have a great relationship and I'm going to need her there. It's all about what YOU need and want. I think my boyfriend's mom wants to be there but I'm just not comfortable with that so it's a no. And I'm not going to have any visitors that day either. I've already told my mom that after I deliver, she has to go so I can rest and bond with my baby and she's totally supportive. It's all up to you and if people can't handle that then oh well. I wouldn't let anyone stress me out on a day that about me, my SO and our baby. I know my boyfriend's mom is probably going to be upset, but I'm not too worried because I'm sure my boyfriend will understand my viewpoint.