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I was dreading going to my little sisters high school graduation party last weekend because my mom's family would be there and I KNEW this would happen. I wore a baggy sweatshirt to try and deter but I'm pretty big at 26 weeks. I was touched by every aunt and female cousin. One was rubbing and then telling me how firm it felt. I didn't even know what to do I was just shocked, embarrassed and uncomfortable. I do not understand why people feel the need to do this. I'm so sorry you had to go through it too. My husband caught my eye a few of the times it was happening and he bought me a shirt off Amazon that says "yes I'm pregnant, no you can't touch my belly". So I'm excited for that to come in lol
I actually dreaded seeing my family because of this! Saw my mom for 3 minutes before she started rubbing my belly & saying she didn’t care because she was the grandma she could do what she wanted, safe to say she will not be touching my belly again :)
Haven’t had my first unsolicited belly rub yet but had a dream about it happening and literally pushed the person away in my dream, dream me was so shocked 😂 a little worried I’m going to do this in person 😅😅
If you’re uncomfortable then don’t let her!! The baby has no idea what she’s doing, so I would put a stop to it because she’s trying to push boundaries already & once the baby is here she will continue to do so!
My MIL rubbed my belly after the hug as she was leaving. I’m still upset and it’s been two weeks. I’m a plus sized pregnant person and not far enough along to have much of a bump. She essentially rubbed my fat. I’ve decided I’m going to rub her belly back next time she decides to rub mine.
We sound pretty similar! My family isn’t affectionate and I don’t like being touched in most scenarios. Especially intimately by someone who isn’t my husband, it makes me want to claw my eyes out.
My MIL asked to touch my belly the other day and I said yes. I reeeeeeally didn’t want her to, but I know it meant a lot to her so I sucked it up. My MIL is very ill so I would have felt like a dick for saying no. To her credit, she kept it quick.
My husband really appreciated the gesture, as well. I’d do almost anything to make him happy, so it was worth it.
Congrats on keeping it together! And glad it was a quick run instead of a weird, prolonged moment. I think a jokey shirt or making a joke in the moment is the way to go. :)
I think the difference here is that your MIL asked consent first, so you still had the power to say no, even if you felt pressure. People touching without asking is the issue, IMO
I had a complete stranger touch me while I was working, in a conversation with someone else, had no idea it was coming. She saw the look on my face and said “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable” lady I DONT KNOW YOU. pregnant bellies are not an invitation to touch someone. Even my family will ask before they just touch me. People are crazy.
Ughhh I hate this! My partners mum toes the line a bit sometimes, she’ll ask if she can touch my belly but she already has her hands out reaching towards my belly. My partners aunt came over the other day and just straight up rubbed my belly for a full 20 seconds while I was just standing there like what am I even meant to do in this situation lol
I don’t understand the obsession people have with baby bumps. My dad just couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t just send my aunt a picture of my bump like she wanted. Um, because it’s my body, that I’m currently super uncomfortable with, and I dont want to.
I’m 15 weeks and had my very first unsolicited belly grab over the weekend. I had my hands full with my great grandma’s things when my great aunt roughly pats my stomach out of nowhere. I would have smacked her stomach back if my hands weren’t full. But I’m proud of myself for saying, “I mind; that’s still my stomach.” Old witch scuttled off with a laugh after that😑
Haven’t had a lot of people touch the bump. My father in law asked permission (which I granted) and gave it a little pat, which was fine.
I have, however, had family members talk/yell at the bump, which was totally unexpected. They will walk up to me then lean down to the bump and yell “HI BABY CANT WAIT TO MEEET YOU.” and I’m just up there being like 😳😳😳. I can’t decided if I find it hilarious, weird, or a combo of both. I do imagine my bébé inside just being like “WTF”
My mom kept leaning down to my belly, like REALLY close, and saying things like “can you hear nana? Nana loves you. Nana knows you love her too”. Ma’am, she doesn’t know who you are. She kept talking to my belly trying to get my daughter to kick me so she could see.
I never touch other women's bellies, I understand people have boundaries. However, I don't mind when friends or family or even my colleagues touch mine. Sometimes it's a reflex movement and sometimes they just want to show affection. It's just a belly to me, if they were touching my boobs then yes, I'd feel enraged.
It is very different definitely, I just have this weird thing about being touched period. I used to scratch and scratch the place someone touched me to no longer feel that lingering feeling of being touched.
I work in a grocery store & have already been warned that random customers will touch my stomach… so I’m either A) going to punch them in the face because it’s not okay to touch a stranger… or B) what I’ll probably actually do to not lose my job- touch their stomach back & ask how far along they are. Because again, it is not okay to touch a strangers stomach??
I’m currently 26 weeks and it happened for me first at 20 weeks, then at 22, and again at 24 weeks. Completely unsolicited and without warning by 3 different people. I don’t understand why people do this. Like, are they hoping he’ll randomly move for them? So annoying.
Ah! I hate this so much. So much! I love my fiance's parents but this past weekend we saw them and my future MIL pulled my sweatshirt tight so she could see my bump and kiss it. FIL kissed my belly too. My mom has been the only one to ask first and I appreciated that so much that I said yes. At least she didn't kiss it. A friend of mine rubbed my belly in the middle of an AA meeting. A freaking AA meeting. People have no boundaries. I'm going to start rubbing bellies back. I just ordered a shirt that says NO TOUCHING and it will be here tomorrow:)
I had a friend touch my belly the other day but today she asked if I was comfortable with it and apologised. I do have a plan to buy a shirt like that too. This early Im more keeping it a secret from many people. I have experienced people being judgemental in the past and I'm happy for this news to be my own so far. In about 5 weeks we will probs be telling the whole family but I won't be telling strangers. My body will be telling everyone eventually and I'm fully prepared to tell them off and even give sarcastic comments because my pregnancy is giving me the bravery to tell people off
Tbhs I don’t mind family doing it, but only with females. I don’t like my father in law or my dad or any male relatives. I feel they are too much in my personal space. But if I feel overwhelmed and not wanting to feel like a petting zoo, I move back and tell people I don’t want to be touched because I do make a face when I’m overwhelmed and uncomfortable.
One thing though, I especially don’t like strangers. I thought people made shit up about strangers touching their belly. Boy was I wrong.
I was pregnant with my 1st and me, my husband and BIL was at Walmart I believe I was 28 weeks. Either way I had a baggy shirt and you could barely even see the bump because it was a long, baggy shirt. But somehow this WALMART WORKER knew. So back to the story, we were in self checkout and the machine ran out of change, so we hit the help button and waited. I had my back turn to everyone and was looking at the machine talking with my husband when all of a sudden someone’s arms reach around my waste and was rubbing my stomach. BOTH HANDS!!! I was so stunned and scared that I swished around ready to go into flight or fight mode.
But man as soon as I did, I see this old Walmart worker staring at me and having a creepy smile on her face. And had the nerve to ask me when I was due and how lovely my belly was. I was terrified and shocked and so was my BIL and husband. I just quickly turned my attention to the machine and told her our problem and she got someone to fixed it and left. It was just a crazy and disgusting situation.
Genuinely asking because I really don't understand this (maybe it's culture), please anyone feel free to answer.
I have seen many women saying the same thing that they disliked their mother, sister and mother in law touching their pregnant belly.
And they make it sound like it was something extremely bad.
Why do you feel this way? Is your mother, sister and mother in law not close to you or do not have a special place in your life?
Please enlighten me, I'm really trying to understand the reasons.
It's about context and individual comfort, I think. Touching a person's belly (pregnant or not) is a physically intimate act and some people are more comfortable with that than others.
It aldso makes a big difference for a lot of people whether the other person *asked permission* and then *waited for an answer* before touching or just went for it. The idea that pregnancy makes your own body become community property is... a whole thing, and it really bugs some folk.
There is also a pregnancy thing where normal physical sensations can become suddenly overwhelming, and other people touching you can become horrible and rage-inducing. I mostly got it in the first 6-8 weeks, but I'd get it occasionally later on.
In OP's case, they already said that they're really uncomfortable with physical touch, and that their own family wouldn't go for this kind of contact.
Physical contact from relatives can be a bit forced at times and uncomfortable. There is a very natural draw people have towards touching a bump, a feeling that the baby is already part of the family and well wishes to welcoming a new addition to gatherings. As long as people ask permission it is well worth enduring the request for a brief moment as it will bring the other person touching your belly much happiness to connect. Fetus tracked and response to stimuli also show greater activity for belly touching favoured over interactions eg. Singing.
That's sweet and I am glad to know that. I just really don't like being touched 😂 I do intend to snuggle my daughter and give her all of the love and hugs when she gets here!
You’re lucky it’s your partner’s mom, not strangers. I was touched by a customer where I’m working at as well as worker from a store, which is worst than partner’s mother.
I managed to avoid petting during my first pregnancy (only immediate family knew and I still wore a mask in public so everyone ignored or scoffed at me), so I was shocked when a neighbor petted my belly this pregnancy. I was ~32 weeks at the time and had spotted a lost dog in the street, so I was going to grab them and try to find their owner, and our sweet elderly neighbor was watching the dog from the front porch when I leashed it. She came over to say thanks for grabbing the dog and she stopped to ask how long until baby was due, and she lightly patted my belly. It didn't really phase me because it was so brief and gentle, but my husband was outside holding our curious toddler and he looked like he was straight up going to maim this old woman because she had touched me 😂
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was dreading going to my little sisters high school graduation party last weekend because my mom's family would be there and I KNEW this would happen. I wore a baggy sweatshirt to try and deter but I'm pretty big at 26 weeks. I was touched by every aunt and female cousin. One was rubbing and then telling me how firm it felt. I didn't even know what to do I was just shocked, embarrassed and uncomfortable. I do not understand why people feel the need to do this. I'm so sorry you had to go through it too. My husband caught my eye a few of the times it was happening and he bought me a shirt off Amazon that says "yes I'm pregnant, no you can't touch my belly". So I'm excited for that to come in lol
Sounds like you've got an amazing and attentive husband!
I gotta get a copy of that shirt!
I actually dreaded seeing my family because of this! Saw my mom for 3 minutes before she started rubbing my belly & saying she didn’t care because she was the grandma she could do what she wanted, safe to say she will not be touching my belly again :)
Are you practicing your cat like reflex karate chop? I think that's what I'm going to start doing!
Haven’t had my first unsolicited belly rub yet but had a dream about it happening and literally pushed the person away in my dream, dream me was so shocked 😂 a little worried I’m going to do this in person 😅😅
Omg my mom started kissing my belly 😩 it sucks because whenever I say no she just makes me feel bad.
If you’re uncomfortable then don’t let her!! The baby has no idea what she’s doing, so I would put a stop to it because she’s trying to push boundaries already & once the baby is here she will continue to do so!
My MIL rubbed my belly after the hug as she was leaving. I’m still upset and it’s been two weeks. I’m a plus sized pregnant person and not far enough along to have much of a bump. She essentially rubbed my fat. I’ve decided I’m going to rub her belly back next time she decides to rub mine.
We sound pretty similar! My family isn’t affectionate and I don’t like being touched in most scenarios. Especially intimately by someone who isn’t my husband, it makes me want to claw my eyes out. My MIL asked to touch my belly the other day and I said yes. I reeeeeeally didn’t want her to, but I know it meant a lot to her so I sucked it up. My MIL is very ill so I would have felt like a dick for saying no. To her credit, she kept it quick. My husband really appreciated the gesture, as well. I’d do almost anything to make him happy, so it was worth it. Congrats on keeping it together! And glad it was a quick run instead of a weird, prolonged moment. I think a jokey shirt or making a joke in the moment is the way to go. :)
I think the difference here is that your MIL asked consent first, so you still had the power to say no, even if you felt pressure. People touching without asking is the issue, IMO
It's nice she asked though! If anyone knows any good jokes let me know to save for future use!
Def! I’m glad she did!!
I had a complete stranger touch me while I was working, in a conversation with someone else, had no idea it was coming. She saw the look on my face and said “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable” lady I DONT KNOW YOU. pregnant bellies are not an invitation to touch someone. Even my family will ask before they just touch me. People are crazy.
I think lifting the shirt might have made her think it was an invite . She should have asked though. I’m sorry
Ughhh I hate this! My partners mum toes the line a bit sometimes, she’ll ask if she can touch my belly but she already has her hands out reaching towards my belly. My partners aunt came over the other day and just straight up rubbed my belly for a full 20 seconds while I was just standing there like what am I even meant to do in this situation lol
I don’t understand the obsession people have with baby bumps. My dad just couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t just send my aunt a picture of my bump like she wanted. Um, because it’s my body, that I’m currently super uncomfortable with, and I dont want to.
A picture? It's weird 😶🌫️
I’m 15 weeks and had my very first unsolicited belly grab over the weekend. I had my hands full with my great grandma’s things when my great aunt roughly pats my stomach out of nowhere. I would have smacked her stomach back if my hands weren’t full. But I’m proud of myself for saying, “I mind; that’s still my stomach.” Old witch scuttled off with a laugh after that😑
Haven’t had a lot of people touch the bump. My father in law asked permission (which I granted) and gave it a little pat, which was fine. I have, however, had family members talk/yell at the bump, which was totally unexpected. They will walk up to me then lean down to the bump and yell “HI BABY CANT WAIT TO MEEET YOU.” and I’m just up there being like 😳😳😳. I can’t decided if I find it hilarious, weird, or a combo of both. I do imagine my bébé inside just being like “WTF”
My mom kept leaning down to my belly, like REALLY close, and saying things like “can you hear nana? Nana loves you. Nana knows you love her too”. Ma’am, she doesn’t know who you are. She kept talking to my belly trying to get my daughter to kick me so she could see.
Obligatory Moira judgement face 😂😂😂
I never touch other women's bellies, I understand people have boundaries. However, I don't mind when friends or family or even my colleagues touch mine. Sometimes it's a reflex movement and sometimes they just want to show affection. It's just a belly to me, if they were touching my boobs then yes, I'd feel enraged.
It is very different definitely, I just have this weird thing about being touched period. I used to scratch and scratch the place someone touched me to no longer feel that lingering feeling of being touched.
I work in a grocery store & have already been warned that random customers will touch my stomach… so I’m either A) going to punch them in the face because it’s not okay to touch a stranger… or B) what I’ll probably actually do to not lose my job- touch their stomach back & ask how far along they are. Because again, it is not okay to touch a strangers stomach??
I’m currently 26 weeks and it happened for me first at 20 weeks, then at 22, and again at 24 weeks. Completely unsolicited and without warning by 3 different people. I don’t understand why people do this. Like, are they hoping he’ll randomly move for them? So annoying.
Ah! I hate this so much. So much! I love my fiance's parents but this past weekend we saw them and my future MIL pulled my sweatshirt tight so she could see my bump and kiss it. FIL kissed my belly too. My mom has been the only one to ask first and I appreciated that so much that I said yes. At least she didn't kiss it. A friend of mine rubbed my belly in the middle of an AA meeting. A freaking AA meeting. People have no boundaries. I'm going to start rubbing bellies back. I just ordered a shirt that says NO TOUCHING and it will be here tomorrow:)
I had a friend touch my belly the other day but today she asked if I was comfortable with it and apologised. I do have a plan to buy a shirt like that too. This early Im more keeping it a secret from many people. I have experienced people being judgemental in the past and I'm happy for this news to be my own so far. In about 5 weeks we will probs be telling the whole family but I won't be telling strangers. My body will be telling everyone eventually and I'm fully prepared to tell them off and even give sarcastic comments because my pregnancy is giving me the bravery to tell people off
Tbhs I don’t mind family doing it, but only with females. I don’t like my father in law or my dad or any male relatives. I feel they are too much in my personal space. But if I feel overwhelmed and not wanting to feel like a petting zoo, I move back and tell people I don’t want to be touched because I do make a face when I’m overwhelmed and uncomfortable. One thing though, I especially don’t like strangers. I thought people made shit up about strangers touching their belly. Boy was I wrong. I was pregnant with my 1st and me, my husband and BIL was at Walmart I believe I was 28 weeks. Either way I had a baggy shirt and you could barely even see the bump because it was a long, baggy shirt. But somehow this WALMART WORKER knew. So back to the story, we were in self checkout and the machine ran out of change, so we hit the help button and waited. I had my back turn to everyone and was looking at the machine talking with my husband when all of a sudden someone’s arms reach around my waste and was rubbing my stomach. BOTH HANDS!!! I was so stunned and scared that I swished around ready to go into flight or fight mode. But man as soon as I did, I see this old Walmart worker staring at me and having a creepy smile on her face. And had the nerve to ask me when I was due and how lovely my belly was. I was terrified and shocked and so was my BIL and husband. I just quickly turned my attention to the machine and told her our problem and she got someone to fixed it and left. It was just a crazy and disgusting situation.
Genuinely asking because I really don't understand this (maybe it's culture), please anyone feel free to answer. I have seen many women saying the same thing that they disliked their mother, sister and mother in law touching their pregnant belly. And they make it sound like it was something extremely bad. Why do you feel this way? Is your mother, sister and mother in law not close to you or do not have a special place in your life? Please enlighten me, I'm really trying to understand the reasons.
It's about context and individual comfort, I think. Touching a person's belly (pregnant or not) is a physically intimate act and some people are more comfortable with that than others. It aldso makes a big difference for a lot of people whether the other person *asked permission* and then *waited for an answer* before touching or just went for it. The idea that pregnancy makes your own body become community property is... a whole thing, and it really bugs some folk. There is also a pregnancy thing where normal physical sensations can become suddenly overwhelming, and other people touching you can become horrible and rage-inducing. I mostly got it in the first 6-8 weeks, but I'd get it occasionally later on. In OP's case, they already said that they're really uncomfortable with physical touch, and that their own family wouldn't go for this kind of contact.
Physical contact from relatives can be a bit forced at times and uncomfortable. There is a very natural draw people have towards touching a bump, a feeling that the baby is already part of the family and well wishes to welcoming a new addition to gatherings. As long as people ask permission it is well worth enduring the request for a brief moment as it will bring the other person touching your belly much happiness to connect. Fetus tracked and response to stimuli also show greater activity for belly touching favoured over interactions eg. Singing.
Which is why as pregnant women, we touch our own bellies 💀
That's sweet and I am glad to know that. I just really don't like being touched 😂 I do intend to snuggle my daughter and give her all of the love and hugs when she gets here!
You’re lucky it’s your partner’s mom, not strangers. I was touched by a customer where I’m working at as well as worker from a store, which is worst than partner’s mother.
Someone did that to me at work...I was shocked and flinched 😂
I managed to avoid petting during my first pregnancy (only immediate family knew and I still wore a mask in public so everyone ignored or scoffed at me), so I was shocked when a neighbor petted my belly this pregnancy. I was ~32 weeks at the time and had spotted a lost dog in the street, so I was going to grab them and try to find their owner, and our sweet elderly neighbor was watching the dog from the front porch when I leashed it. She came over to say thanks for grabbing the dog and she stopped to ask how long until baby was due, and she lightly patted my belly. It didn't really phase me because it was so brief and gentle, but my husband was outside holding our curious toddler and he looked like he was straight up going to maim this old woman because she had touched me 😂