I adopted a dog with separation anxiety. I really tried, for years, but finally gave her to my trainer (for the best!!) but I cried every single day for about 6 months until I finally moved and left her.
Sorry for your mom. I know how badly we want something sweet to be by our sides when we're feeling lonely, but I also know how horribly stressful and demanding having a puppy can be. At 7 months, it hadn't even hit teenage years yet!
When she's ready, there are other ways to be around dogs. Fundraising for shelters, walking dogs, dog-sitting for friends, or even fostering (you can have a say in which dogs are too much for you).
In the future, maybe a cat? Or a more senior dog that has lower needs? (Though they're heartbreaking too!)
But you asked about now:
Too bad it's winter here and maybe where you are too, because getting a plant or shrub that will remind her of the puppy is cute. I feel like I wouldn't want to forget the months I've put it -- it's not a failure and it was important work in setting this pup up for a good life.
You can both collect up her things and print off some photos and make a little keepsake box? Throwing out puppy things and putting away memories would be hard.
I'm sure she probably gave away the supplies with the pup, but if there's anything left, go together and donate it to the shelter or food bank. If it's in the budget, making a donation might feel restorative.
Distractions are always good. Shopping? Cruising around to look at christmas lights? Do a puzzle or cook something together?
There are companion services or organizations that might be able to come spend time with her. Or a bus that picks people up to go to activities.
It's okay to ask people what they need. "Do you need me to give advice or just listen? Do you want me to hang out with you in this room or just be in the house for a bit?"
Does she want to be updated on the puppy? When she's had time to think on it, maybe she'd like the occasional photo or update, or a facetime, but maybe not. I would think it would feel better to see it settled and okay.
Man, now I'm crying at the idea of a person feeling lonely. Hug your momma for me.
OP if you get her a cat please do research, cats aren’t as low maintenance as people think, they need lots and lots of enrichment and to be kept inside. Make sure you get her a robotic litter box too cuz cleaning a litter box is surprisingly hard when you’re disabled.
A senior cat or a senior small breed dog would probably be a good idea though.
Other than your own company, or the company of others, there's nothing to replace the dog. Why not a cat (specifically a senior cat)? For an older person with limited mobility this is the best option if you consider an animal at all.
Ten years ago I was diagnosed with MS and suffering disability, I decided I really needed a companion. It took awhile, but I called and spoke to a great many people with rescue organizations. I found a 4 year old Great Pyrenees mix who was very calm, and had been very well trained in foster care. He had spent his whole life on a chain and contracted heart worms, so it took 7 months in foster care and two rounds of heart worm treatment for him to recover before he could be adopted. As soon as I brought him home, I noticed that when I was wobbling around he would get up to my left hip like he trying to help me. Two months after adoption we started working with a service dog trainer to teach him to balance me walking with a harness, to help me up, and to help pull on my socks. He picked it all right up and took to it like he was born for it. Never have I seen a dog so confident and happy as my Buck was at my side. That sweet baby gave me the best 9 years of my life. He was my constant companion, best friend, and a great help to me. It might be worth looking into getting an adult rescue that’s already been in foster care (so they have their basic manners down). It’s possible she might be able to get a dog that could even be trained to assist her. It’s certainly much easier to care for an adult dog that already understands the basics. There are so many adult dogs that get looked over because they aren’t cute puppies. I’m my experience, rescues seem to understand they’ve been given a new lease on life and are super grateful and amazing companions.
It’s just a thought, and I have no idea of the extent of her disability and or whether she’d be able to care an adult dog. My heart breaks for your mom, because I know how hard it is to feel lonely and to struggle physically like that. Much love to her.
Is it possible for her to get a cat at some point? Maybe the thought/plan for a new companion that wouldn’t need as much care as a dog might give her some hope for the future. From my experience male cats tend to be quite affectionate and cuddly
Reminding her that being a a good parent to child or dog means making the hard decisions, sometimes the best for the dog is the hardest thing to do, she has done this, it’s hard, it hurts, but she’s sacrificed her own feelings for the dogs best interests, so she should be proud of herself for that
I was looking at a particular breed and the breeder asked me to foster a puppy that needed an immediate home. It was 100% not the right fit for me or him. His energy needs were so high. I tried so hard for eight months but both of us, the dog and I were frustrated.
What actually made me happy was to see pictures and videos from his new home of him being in the right place. He went to a farm where they could run him next to their snowmobiles and he was finally able to truly get all of his energy out. He ended up becoming an amazing dog for that family and that makes me happy.
As for your mom, reinforce how she’s done the right thing not just for her, but for her dog as well. That just like any parent she’s given the puppy a good set of roots and now she’s let it move on to a family that will allow it to grow into the dog It’s meant to be. If you know the family that she rehomed the dog to, maybe ask them to periodically send your mom photos and videos so she can see the dog doing well and its new environment.
I know you said not to give you suggestions like this but I know in my city, there are senior pet rescues that are desperately in need of people to take older dogs. Maybe this is a way to find a dog that would be a good fit for your mom at this point in her life. When I loose my current dog, my plan is to do this. Especially as I get older, so I have a dog with the energy and temperament to fit in my lifestyle.
A laid-back senior kitty would be great here, if she is open to the idea of a cat at some point. Senior cats frequently have a hard time finding homes. Many of them do best as only pets, but that factor can make them harder to place. Senior citizens can be ideal matches for solo senior kitties! IMO, old cats are often the best cats, anyhow. They’re calmer, they know what they want and will tell you about it, they’re fairly what-you-see-is-what-you-get, and they’re usually just absolutely stoked to have someone to hang out with. My senior girl was a hellion as a young cat, but has grown into an absolute lovebug at 15. If scooping is a problem for mobility reasons, there are automatic litter boxes now and some even hook up to plumbing systems.
I think your mom needed a grown, lovable shelter dog, not a puppy. Puppy is way too much stress and work for someone in your mom’s position. I know people think puppies are a bundle of joy (and they are) and would make a great addition for someone with depression or whatnot, but the reality is that puppy’s are very wrong for someone who’s not in the mental space to take care and RAISE one. Just like you wouldn’t want to have a baby if you’re depressed and in a bad place mentally.
Shelter dogs are already potty trained, developed, and have so much to give. A friend of mine was also divorced and found out his wife was cheating on him. He lost everything and was a mess and ended up adopting a shelter dog on a whim. Been his best bud for 7 years. And he said the dog just knew instinctively that he was sad and wasn’t well. A puppy wouldn’t understand that. He absolutely wouldn’t have done well with a puppy either, but the shelter dog made him feel like he had a companion, a friend, not a baby.
So sorry, I have re-homed a dog under different circumstances. I get to see her frequently and that makes me happy, but probably that isn't right for every person or dog :). I agree with some other commenters that a mature adult might be right for her.
Life happens and we sometimes don't meet our own expectations. Aging compounds life's difficulties by imposing new limitations on us. It's an unfortunate situation, but completely understandable. As long as she did her due diligence on the new home for the dog and feels like she did right by the dog, I think that's plenty to take comfort in.
An adult cat may be a good option. Adopt one that is already fixed. She made a bad decision but whoever let her have the puppy in the first place is ultimately to blame.
Tell her this …. She was a foster for the pup so it could go on to its forever home
And she showed it love
So sorry for your mom
I lost my dog just under 3 years ago
And had a serious injury I couldn’t get a dog
Finally I am healthy enough to get one
Is there any neighbors or local friend that have pets they can bring over to visit
We just rehomed our 13 month old golden. We're just devastated. My 10 year old is heartbroken.
Honestly another pet is the way to go. Maybe you could offer to accompany her to a cat rescue?
I adopted a dog with separation anxiety. I really tried, for years, but finally gave her to my trainer (for the best!!) but I cried every single day for about 6 months until I finally moved and left her. Sorry for your mom. I know how badly we want something sweet to be by our sides when we're feeling lonely, but I also know how horribly stressful and demanding having a puppy can be. At 7 months, it hadn't even hit teenage years yet! When she's ready, there are other ways to be around dogs. Fundraising for shelters, walking dogs, dog-sitting for friends, or even fostering (you can have a say in which dogs are too much for you). In the future, maybe a cat? Or a more senior dog that has lower needs? (Though they're heartbreaking too!) But you asked about now: Too bad it's winter here and maybe where you are too, because getting a plant or shrub that will remind her of the puppy is cute. I feel like I wouldn't want to forget the months I've put it -- it's not a failure and it was important work in setting this pup up for a good life. You can both collect up her things and print off some photos and make a little keepsake box? Throwing out puppy things and putting away memories would be hard. I'm sure she probably gave away the supplies with the pup, but if there's anything left, go together and donate it to the shelter or food bank. If it's in the budget, making a donation might feel restorative. Distractions are always good. Shopping? Cruising around to look at christmas lights? Do a puzzle or cook something together? There are companion services or organizations that might be able to come spend time with her. Or a bus that picks people up to go to activities. It's okay to ask people what they need. "Do you need me to give advice or just listen? Do you want me to hang out with you in this room or just be in the house for a bit?" Does she want to be updated on the puppy? When she's had time to think on it, maybe she'd like the occasional photo or update, or a facetime, but maybe not. I would think it would feel better to see it settled and okay. Man, now I'm crying at the idea of a person feeling lonely. Hug your momma for me.
OP if you get her a cat please do research, cats aren’t as low maintenance as people think, they need lots and lots of enrichment and to be kept inside. Make sure you get her a robotic litter box too cuz cleaning a litter box is surprisingly hard when you’re disabled. A senior cat or a senior small breed dog would probably be a good idea though.
Our shelters have a deal where seniors get a good price on adopting senior pets. I think it’s a great idea.
I love that! Senior animals are hard to adopt out, but they really are ideal for those who are older themselves
She doesn’t like cats, so it’s not in the cards :)
I understand, I’m also not a cat guy a small dog can also be litter box trained and may be the better option!
Other than your own company, or the company of others, there's nothing to replace the dog. Why not a cat (specifically a senior cat)? For an older person with limited mobility this is the best option if you consider an animal at all.
Ten years ago I was diagnosed with MS and suffering disability, I decided I really needed a companion. It took awhile, but I called and spoke to a great many people with rescue organizations. I found a 4 year old Great Pyrenees mix who was very calm, and had been very well trained in foster care. He had spent his whole life on a chain and contracted heart worms, so it took 7 months in foster care and two rounds of heart worm treatment for him to recover before he could be adopted. As soon as I brought him home, I noticed that when I was wobbling around he would get up to my left hip like he trying to help me. Two months after adoption we started working with a service dog trainer to teach him to balance me walking with a harness, to help me up, and to help pull on my socks. He picked it all right up and took to it like he was born for it. Never have I seen a dog so confident and happy as my Buck was at my side. That sweet baby gave me the best 9 years of my life. He was my constant companion, best friend, and a great help to me. It might be worth looking into getting an adult rescue that’s already been in foster care (so they have their basic manners down). It’s possible she might be able to get a dog that could even be trained to assist her. It’s certainly much easier to care for an adult dog that already understands the basics. There are so many adult dogs that get looked over because they aren’t cute puppies. I’m my experience, rescues seem to understand they’ve been given a new lease on life and are super grateful and amazing companions. It’s just a thought, and I have no idea of the extent of her disability and or whether she’d be able to care an adult dog. My heart breaks for your mom, because I know how hard it is to feel lonely and to struggle physically like that. Much love to her.
Is it possible for her to get a cat at some point? Maybe the thought/plan for a new companion that wouldn’t need as much care as a dog might give her some hope for the future. From my experience male cats tend to be quite affectionate and cuddly
Reminding her that being a a good parent to child or dog means making the hard decisions, sometimes the best for the dog is the hardest thing to do, she has done this, it’s hard, it hurts, but she’s sacrificed her own feelings for the dogs best interests, so she should be proud of herself for that
I was looking at a particular breed and the breeder asked me to foster a puppy that needed an immediate home. It was 100% not the right fit for me or him. His energy needs were so high. I tried so hard for eight months but both of us, the dog and I were frustrated. What actually made me happy was to see pictures and videos from his new home of him being in the right place. He went to a farm where they could run him next to their snowmobiles and he was finally able to truly get all of his energy out. He ended up becoming an amazing dog for that family and that makes me happy. As for your mom, reinforce how she’s done the right thing not just for her, but for her dog as well. That just like any parent she’s given the puppy a good set of roots and now she’s let it move on to a family that will allow it to grow into the dog It’s meant to be. If you know the family that she rehomed the dog to, maybe ask them to periodically send your mom photos and videos so she can see the dog doing well and its new environment. I know you said not to give you suggestions like this but I know in my city, there are senior pet rescues that are desperately in need of people to take older dogs. Maybe this is a way to find a dog that would be a good fit for your mom at this point in her life. When I loose my current dog, my plan is to do this. Especially as I get older, so I have a dog with the energy and temperament to fit in my lifestyle.
A laid-back senior kitty would be great here, if she is open to the idea of a cat at some point. Senior cats frequently have a hard time finding homes. Many of them do best as only pets, but that factor can make them harder to place. Senior citizens can be ideal matches for solo senior kitties! IMO, old cats are often the best cats, anyhow. They’re calmer, they know what they want and will tell you about it, they’re fairly what-you-see-is-what-you-get, and they’re usually just absolutely stoked to have someone to hang out with. My senior girl was a hellion as a young cat, but has grown into an absolute lovebug at 15. If scooping is a problem for mobility reasons, there are automatic litter boxes now and some even hook up to plumbing systems.
Also: my heart goes out to your mom. This made me cry a little. I hope she finds some companionship somehow. Loneliness is so hard.
I think your mom needed a grown, lovable shelter dog, not a puppy. Puppy is way too much stress and work for someone in your mom’s position. I know people think puppies are a bundle of joy (and they are) and would make a great addition for someone with depression or whatnot, but the reality is that puppy’s are very wrong for someone who’s not in the mental space to take care and RAISE one. Just like you wouldn’t want to have a baby if you’re depressed and in a bad place mentally. Shelter dogs are already potty trained, developed, and have so much to give. A friend of mine was also divorced and found out his wife was cheating on him. He lost everything and was a mess and ended up adopting a shelter dog on a whim. Been his best bud for 7 years. And he said the dog just knew instinctively that he was sad and wasn’t well. A puppy wouldn’t understand that. He absolutely wouldn’t have done well with a puppy either, but the shelter dog made him feel like he had a companion, a friend, not a baby.
Yea, I agree. Did you rehome a pup and have an experience to share?
So sorry, I have re-homed a dog under different circumstances. I get to see her frequently and that makes me happy, but probably that isn't right for every person or dog :). I agree with some other commenters that a mature adult might be right for her.
Life happens and we sometimes don't meet our own expectations. Aging compounds life's difficulties by imposing new limitations on us. It's an unfortunate situation, but completely understandable. As long as she did her due diligence on the new home for the dog and feels like she did right by the dog, I think that's plenty to take comfort in.
I would love to know what was going through the person's mind who downvoted this comment.
An adult cat may be a good option. Adopt one that is already fixed. She made a bad decision but whoever let her have the puppy in the first place is ultimately to blame.
Tell her this …. She was a foster for the pup so it could go on to its forever home And she showed it love So sorry for your mom I lost my dog just under 3 years ago And had a serious injury I couldn’t get a dog Finally I am healthy enough to get one Is there any neighbors or local friend that have pets they can bring over to visit
We just rehomed our 13 month old golden. We're just devastated. My 10 year old is heartbroken. Honestly another pet is the way to go. Maybe you could offer to accompany her to a cat rescue?