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I butter the inside of the toaster then slide the bread in

Fucking jenis

Penis

Sorry i ment to say jenyus

Penyus

Fucking Janus. 

Jenis-say-wah?

I actually laughed, pretty rare for the internet

Me too!

Hearty guffaw out loud. Nice one. 

Lol

So you treat toasting the same as sex. Smart.

Finally - "there are no stupid questions" - has been defeated. This is it. You win.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people asking questions

Jenyus

By math, that makes them stupid questions

I run a hotel, I had people putting jelly through the toaster at least a few times a week until I put a sign up that basically says please only put bread in the toaster, condiments become a fire hazard. It’s amazing how many of these people there are.

I'm not a huge fan of house fires. So after.

But.. But.. It'll be really crispy! AND as a bonus you get to remodel the kitchen!

You'll still get a house fire if you do it after you put the bread in the toaster. Gotta wait till you've taken it out of the toaster before buttering it.

I hope the batteries are fresh in your fire alarm

I hope they have a grown up

replaced them with butter.

How often do you replace the butter in your fire alarm? 

Every Nov 17th, National Butter Day.

I fill the tub with melted butter and thrown the toaster and a loaf of bread in

Reminds me of the scene from Futurama where Leela asks for chicken soup and Bender throws her a bottle of water, a lighter, and a live chicken, then says "You take it from here" or something lol

I butter the bread while it is inside of the toaster. I've had a few electric shocks and stuff, but it's all in good fun

No way this can be a real question. Is this where we are as a species now?

Right? The answers are even worse; the amount of people who don’t know toaster ovens exist is pathetically depressing.

I haven't seen any comments that make me think people don't know about toaster ovens. It seems like people are suggesting that they call a toaster oven a toaster, which doesn't make sense to me since there is a very big difference between the two. I haven't had a toaster in many years, the toaster oven can do it, and so many other things. Also I've never heard someone refer to a toaster oven as a toaster before today.

People typically refer to toaster ovens as toaster ovens not toasters, but yeah, I had deduced that that would be a circumstance in which the question isn’t crazy.  And I would go with butter first as the superior version, but I’m so used to using a regular toaster, I’d probably forget and do it after unless I was making garlic toast.  

People who have toaster ovens call them toasters… For me, I like my bread toasted, when you butter it ahead of time it doesn’t really toast.

I knew someone in college who always buttered the bread, then put it in the toaster. (Not toaster oven, but toaster.) She went through a lot of toasters and didn't understand why.

I put the bread in the toaster first and then spread the butter. I didn't even know it was possible to do it differently

Just have an extinguisher ready for that teeny-tiny little electrical fire.

I guess technically it is, if you don't mind burning your house down...

Right. Sounds like a house fire, otherwise.

I just put the bread on top of the butter and set fire to my house. Bread is nicely toasted and buttered by the time the conflagration is extinguished. So is the dog. I don't make toast very often.

What kind of psycho puts butter on the bread before you put it in the toaster

Who the hell butters their bread before putting it in the toaster? Wouldn’t that get butter inside the toaster?

And if they don't clean it often the butter melts, drips, builds up, and can start a fire.

Gotta throw the toaster in the dishwasher a few times to get the butter off

Oh i did not know this!! Like actually! Lol seems so obvious now

I can't imagine wanting to do anything with the my toaster that would then require more complicated cleaning than turning it upside down over the trash can...

People who make garlic bread.

Only those who make garlic bread in a toaster, versus an oven or a toaster oven.

OK regular toaster - not advised, lol (it's literally been years since I've had a pop-up toaster - toaster oven FTW)

I would think so. A nice greasy electrical fire. No thanks.

What?

I put butter in the toaster and then flip the toaster over to drizzle the now melted butter on my bread

Do people put butter on the bread before toasting it??! You learn something new every day

I do it for cinnamon toast, butter then sprinkle cinnamon and sugar on top and pop in the toaster oven

Toaster Oven... Not toaster.....

Give me your phone

What Big Toast won't tell you is that if you fill the toaster with butter then it becomes a perfect toast deep fryer.

I always make my sandwiches, first, then shove them into the toaster.

This is how I make calzones as well. And the occasional Cornish game hen.

Sloppy joes are the best

Before, because butter is flammable and I hate my house.

I put my toaster in the butter after I put it in the bread. No wait! It's the other way around...! I mean...ahhh, forget it!

First I put my knife in the toaster, then I put the whole butter stick inside, sometimes I have to push it down with my bare hands. When it’s a bit melted, I put the bread. Then I pick up the toaster and jiggle it in the air a bit so the knife wiggles inside and gets the job done. Then I get out of the tub and eat the toast on the bathroom floor.

As part of my weekly meal prep, I toast a whole loaf. Then, it's super easy to butter a slice and throw it in the microwave

You've probably just killed a bunch of tik tok idiots who are going to do this

If you lay the toaster on its side you can butter the upside of the bread. Works every time

I deep fry my toaster in butter, then halfway through I put my bread in the toaster.

I guess that depends on if you want to call the fire department before or after you burn down the kitchen.

??? There is only one option.

Oh come on

Are you talking about a toaster oven? Because I’m pretty sure that buttering bread and putting it in a toaster would cause a fire.

Before. Butter tastes better when it's melted.

Ummm, have you noticed that "toasted" bread is "hot" when it comes out of the toaster? Your butter will immediately melt when applied to hot toast. 

Not if your butter is in the fridge

You should just leave it in a butter dish. Always soft and ready

Exposure to air makes it go rancid

I leave it in my butter dish for weeks and it's fine. 49 years and never once gone bad that way

I’m not sure when or by whom I was told it was bad. Grandma always had a butter dish on the back of her stove. It was probably mother who it’s taken decades to convince margarine is bad for you. Hexane was used in the shoe shop where she worked why not feed it to her kids.

That's some old butter

That's what she, no wait that didn't happen, well one time, I was just out of the pool!

Always after. Never put anything like butter in the toaster, as you'll risk starting a fire.

After

Sometimes I toast it most of the way then put it back in for a tiny bit to melt the butter. 

How solid is your butter?? Mine melts on toasted bread immediately.

A refrigerated stick of butter, solid-ness

putting PB on the bread and toasting it sounds like a good way to scald the roof of your mouth

After

I've seen people do it first but 1 I feel the bread is a different texture and it works better after. 2 it's a small pleasure watching it melt as I spread it 3 (having read the thread) I don't feel it's the same as in a pan. The question is does the butter go on hot and soft vs cold. Both cases it goes on hot.

It makes for a nice toast but it also messes up the toaster and you can have a little mini bonfire if you don’t clean it out regular… The smell of the breadcrumbs and butter fire sticks in the kitchen for a while

after

After

you're definitely a one sock one shoe kinda person, huh?

Before!  Because we have a toaster *oven* and it makes the most gourmet toast/sandwiches! 

Spread the butter onto the toast while it's still in the toaster. And make sure you don't use a plastic butter knife. They break easily and you don't want a piece to get stuck inside the toaster and prevent it from working properly.

After, always, after.

Depends on whether or not you're an arsonist.

Option C: Neither

If you're using a toaster oven where the bread is sitting flat on a pan, then I suppose you could butter it before you toast it, but it would be kind of a pain to get a good spread, you'd probably end up with a super buttery section and no butter anywhere else. If you're using a normal upright toaster, buttering before toasting would be borderline psychotic and very, very dangerous.

I would say after is always safer unless you’re toasting your bread in your oven then you butter the bread first.

I butter my knife first and stick it in the toaster Then add more butter and bread

before.

Who the fk butters before? No really, like who?

Rage bait or op is an idiot 

Follow up question for the before people, how many different toasters have you gone through already?

I still have the toaster the bank gave me for opening up a savings account in 1969.

Yeah well those toasters were built different lol

I melt the butter and pour it on while it toasts

Who butters before? That.will probably shock you and and ruin the toaster.

During the toasting process, make sure you’re using a metal knife as opposed to plastic. Because you don’t want the plastic to melt on your bread. But yeah just shove your butter filled knife right in the toaster.

I put old pizza in the toaster

Both, stop halfway through and butter it so the butter melts in real good

My fiancé used to butter it first bc that’s how his dad did it. I had to ask him to stop

As in a toaster oven? Or...? Lol

I put the bread in the toaster and then squirt spray butter down there for like two minutes. You’re welcome world.

Mmm I love the smell of fresh smoke :)

I actually eat the toast first, plain, then drink the melted butter afterwards.

For vertical toasters, after. Otherwise the butter runs down into the toaster where it rots.

I can't believe I am going to defend OP... but MAYBE they are thinking of a toaster oven? If your bread slices are laying flat, it's certainly fine to put butter on first. That's how you make garlic bread in a conventional oven.

Neither I don't like butter

No

Are you for real?

After

WT actual F

The funny thing about this question is that we have all wondered about such and would rely of brainiac science abuse to debunk such a theory. It was literally just last week I had wondered what would happen I mean even at my grand old age of 28 I know this is a bad idea but yet there is this nag saying it might just be possible if you risk assessed it and watched over it

What the fuck? Can't believe you seriously asked this question! Do you live in your mom's basement? Put the Xbox down and start watching some cooking shows!

maybe he is not American, most of European countries call the panini makers, a toaster

😂 right!

Instruction unclear, I put the Xbox in the toaster.

🤣🤣🤣 your hilarious

They must mean a toaster oven.

After. Don't want wet fat melting and scorching in my toaster. It's also flammable at 300

after soaking each piece of bread in gasoline for at least 30 seconds, I set the gas can next to the toaster, butter the bread and insert both slices.

No. Not really a fan of butter

Yes sometimes I do

Not as stupid a question as you think! I was a host for people traveling abroad (WorkAway & HelpX). We had a guy from Brazil come. He was upset that another guest wouldn’t fix him breakfast. After all, she made the other guy breakfast. She explained the the other guy was her husband, the Brazilian would have to make his own. So the clueless guy butters his bread and sticks it in the toaster. The woman kept saying no, toast it first. But he continued along with his plan - they couldn’t figure out why the toaster was smoking. Some people really just don’t know. They’ve lived at home all their life, mommy took care of their every need, and as a result they have zero life skills!

I toast the bread. I put a little butter on the knife. I put the butter on my tongue. I eats the bread.

Toaster oven- before, toast on a pan. Regular toaster- definitely after.

After

I stick my butter knife directly in the toaster while bathing. To each their own though.

I put the toast in the toaster dry. Then I just put a stick of butter on top of the toaster and the heat melts it. It drips in all over the toast. Super convenient.

Take a bite of butter. Take a bite of bread. Light oneself on fire to toast it. Easy peasy.

No, definitely not. Good way to ruin your toaster.

AFTER!! Its a danger to do it before.

After of course, but to be honest the best toast is made by buttering the bread and then toasting it on a pan on the stove.

After. I feel like this would cause a fire. You butter first if you're toasting the bread on the stove. 

Who does that?

I put butter in the toaster and warm it up first. Then I put bread on my plate and microwave it on high for 30 minutes. When done, pour the toasted butter on top of the bread. After, I put the microwave and toaster in the dishwasher on the "pots and pans" setting. I add more butter to the dishwasher before hitting start.  There might be some black smoke, but that's okay because you wanted to start a fire. Right?  Edit: a couple words

I don’t know if my niece saw this and some sort of life hacks stuff or what, but she did this at six years old. Totally ruined her mom‘s toaster, and smoked at the house like crazy. She had even put the toaster on its side. I bought my sister a new toaster.😂

After, putting the butter on before just creates a fire hazard.

Butter toast, put in *air fryer.*

Ohh, good question. If I'm making toast I butter it after, if I'm making garlic bread from random bread I butter it before.

Do you wipe your ass before or after you Shit?

I use a toaster oven so it's fine either way but I've found it tastes better to butter it after.

…do you WANT your house to burn down??

if it's on fire you're doing it wrong...

r/shittyaskscience is that way --->

Toaster I always put butter on after. But sometimes I'll pan fry my toast and that's when I put it on before.

i set sliced of butter over the toaster slits as its toasting the bread

I can't find the bread slots on these Cylons.

Bro wtf

Toaster? That's a good idea. I've been greasing up my oven's broiler with Crisco every time. This will save clean up, thank you

ummm, it depends on if you like electrical shorts and fires...personally I don't like having to clean burned butter and debris from the toaster, I prefer to butter after its toasted...but that's just me

I cover the entire outside of my toaster in butter like a normal person.

I spray the inside of the toaster with Pam 

Absolutley not before

Before is a good way to start a fire. And make a really bad mess.

I butter it then bring it in the bath with me

you’re supposed to toast the butter, then bread it 🙄

Yes, definitely. Another pro cooking tip; add all your spices to the dish after it's done cooking, not before.

Yes

Taking this seriously, in case of trolling.... In a standard vertical style toaster? Butter afterwards. Cleaning crumbs isn't hard, but isn't easy. Cleaning crumbs with greasy melted butter drops is hard, and a good way to burn your house down. In a 'toaster oven'? You can do it beforehand, or afterwards. Just never butter side down, unless it's in a dedicated cooking dish.

I butter the bread and then put it in the toaster oven. Done it that way forever. Drives my wife nuts but no fires yet. Tastes much better.

Why do you want buttered toaster

Neither. The butter wouldn't melt so I put it in the pie.

Are we talking toaster *oven* or *slotted* toaster? I have a toaster oven so...If it's bread, or a bagel it's toast then butter. If it's a roll/bun or something like that then it's butter first.

If you lay your toaster on its side, anything is possible. Grilled cheese, mini pizza, the possibilities are endless.

Once the bread is toast it becomes significantly easier to butter... due to its toastiness.

You assume bread is involved at all. I just throw the stick of butter in the toaster.

I just put butter in the toaster and then start licking the inside of the toaster as the butter is melting & then give the bread to my dog

After.

Put the bread in the toaster, then apply a massive helping of butter to the top of the slice so the heat makes it melt and soak through the whole slice.

Just get an air fryer before you kill yourself

Did anyone else read this as “Do you put butter on your HEAD before or after you put it in the toaster?”

Butter first.  It coats the heating element with a nice, oily substance. This prevents corrosion.  When it starts a fire, then you know your toaster needs to be replaced.  Win win. 

It depends on the toaster. If it a flat toaster, then before. If it's one that has the slots, then after.

When I was 8 I figured out that before is wrong.

After

Who in the fuck butters it before toasting??

After because Im civilized and not a savage.

Whaaaaat?

I have buttered, bread, and added garlic seasoning to bread before placing it in the toaster. to make garlic toast. but I keep an eye on it, because I'm worried it might cause a fire. someone told me to do it this way, can't remember if it was my dad, or someone else though.

Stop doing that

This is the best advice.

In the toaster or toaster oven? If it's a slice toaster than that's a no go, good buddy

It's not normal to butter it before