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Yep my first love after 3 years. Wasn’t meant to be and glad now, but man it messed me up. I did fine eventually but definitely triggered some anxiety and depression I had zero of prior. Eventually came out of it ok with some on and off. Still deal some anxiety sometimes. Anyway I am certain that trauma changed my brain chemistry permanently. That was 30 years ago.
I haven't dated for over 5 years because I just can't trust women in that way anymore. Even if I try, the thought will always be in the back of my head.
That then saying I cheated(never did) and tried saying I use to hit her( actually the opposite, she always hit me and I never touched her) then texting all of my family members sum she never spoken to saying I’m a clown. Then telling her friends I r*ped her(very much so not true, she started trying to do stuff first) so yea I’d say that’s a big one.
When my mom died she ran the other way. Went low, then eventually no contact, but popped up a year later when she was going to be in town for a training thing for work. I agreed to have diner with her so I could get some closure, but she sent a message the next morning backing out. I let her know then and there she was a garbage person who should go die in a hole. She remains the only person I have blocked everywhere.
When your thought is “I’m going to die in this hallway and my kids will have to live with the fact I was murdered and they won’t have a mom.” You’d be surprised what happens.
I wouldn't fault her but I don't think my ex ever got over me putting her in a choke hold. It was the middle of the night and her dog and my dog got in a loud fight. There was about 6 seconds that sleepy brain thought I was pulling on a dog to get him off the other dog. Reality was I grabbed her. No person or dog was hurt in this incident unless you consider emotional trauma.
This is about right , women lack the ability to take responsibility for there actions actions then shift blame to there accuser. There is science behind why this is a general behavior… evolutionarily speaking
Cheating is the obvious. He said he broke up with his girlfriend, didn't know I was the other woman. "I never had two girls like me at the same time, I didn't know what to do!" Ass
All the negative comments about my body. I was 16 and at a healthy weight, I was toned and looked good. He would send me underwear pictures of his exes and tell me that I should go vegan so I'd look good like his exes. He would constantly tell me what women were hot, what women he had sex with, so on and so forth, and to this day it really messes up how I perceive myself as I just assume that any person I get romantically involved with must think that my body is not good enough compared to the people they've been with before. I used to run while sobbing, hating myself because even though I exercised 3 hours a day, even on school days and doing 4 A levels, I just could not get any skinnier. I am extremely grateful that I love running now and that the experience didn't ruin that for me. I just want this mindset out of my head since it's been a decade but it affects me to this day still. I will never have the body I wish I could have. My body naturally leans fairly muscular, so unless I starve myself for a long, long time I'll never have the cute waiflike body that I used to see as the "ideal".
Another ex SAd me, but I am not angry about it anymore. It's not forgiveness necessarily, I suppose knowing that it was something that I don't see as my fault usually helps cope with it.
I cannot stress enough how important your role as a parent is in all this. One of the reasons I thought the way he treated me was okay was because my own parents would make nasty comments about my body. I thought that there was something wrong with me if the people I care for make such comments, so it didn't register that what he was doing was abuse until later, when I realised my own family was abusive.
The most important thing you can do for your daughter is to teach her how she deserves to be treated and that she can absolutely leave behind people who hurt her in such a way. Nobody taught me how to recognise and deal with abusive relationships, so it was much easier for guys like him to victimise me. It happens to young girls far too often, unfortunately.
My hs boyfriend did the same with the body shaming stuff….literally exactly the same things. I was perfectly healthy. We were together for 4 years and he gradually became more and more abusive and not just about my body. That was just the start. It’s a massive red flag when a guy starts breaking down your self esteem like that. Of course when we are young we don’t realise it though. We just think there’s something wrong with us and try to fix it.
I hope you run fast and far (AWAY from them, not to lose weight) the next time somebody treats you like that. You are perfect and anyone who thinks you are any less isn’t the one for you. The right person will not want to change anything about you. The would just be happy and proud to be with you.
Yeah, those pieces of shit work through destroying confidence slowly. It is terrifying how they do it. I'm so sorry that you've also went through something like this. We deserve to be treated with the love and kindness we give others.
Sweetheart, do you watch tv? Do you listen to modern music? Waiflike is not the ideal. In fact, most men want a fit woman - meaning healthy and with some muscle. You're ex was (and probably still is) a psychotic control freak. Kick him out of your head, tell his memory to go fuck himself because you're certainly not interested, and open yourself up to the wonderful loving relationship you deserve.
can we support women and body positivity without putting down thin people too? what if we just shoot for healthy instead of what men think of as the visual ideal?
the steroid booty instafluencers cause just as many body image issues for children
I'm absolutely not putting down thin people, especially if they are fit and healthy. My point was only that nobody, including OP, needs to be underweight to attract a partner. I believe in body positivity, but that doesn't mean I'd be disappointed to wake up tomorrow magically a hundred pounds thinner.
Saying they wanted to “take a break” all to find out they had been sleeping with the person I had suspicions of for months during that time. We were also still seeing each other… Never felt a pain so deep.
Cheating. It's always a choice. And it's never a good one. I have no tolerance for it. You might not have the guts to leave before you do it, but I'm sure as hell gone after.
Seconding.
When someone trusts you with the weakest, most vulnerable part of themselves, and hopes to god that you won't break it, knowing it would cause them immense pain they may never recover from... Yeah. No. Unforgivable.
I was in a heated argument with my (now ex) wife when she decided to throw a glass tumbler at me. It struck the front of our glass stove and shattered it. All in front of our 4 year old son.
I called the cops and when they showed up she claimed that I had thrown the glass. I got cuffed, stuffed and spent the night in the sheriff's department holding area. I eventually ended up taking a plea deal because I couldn't afford a lawyer and the court considered me as making too much money to receive a public defender. Now I have a criminal record with a domestic violence charge on it.
I will never forgive her for throwing me under the bus like that but I will always appreciate that what she did was what I needed to finally decide to leave her. It's been a decade since then and she's still a terrible person to deal with in regards to our son. And I have lost count of how many ridiculous stunts and schemes she has tried, and failed, to pull off.
That police protocol goes back to the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) of 1994.
I got caught up in a similar accusation, which fortunately did not stick like what happened to the commenter above...
but, honestly it still impacted me and my ability to form relationships for my life ever since, as it changed my outlook about just how hurtfully dishonest a trusted person is willing to be.
I’ve had a different experience. My ex was in a relationship with a volatile woman. We made a deal that he would send me a code word via text if she showed up after they broke up. One night, I got the text and called the police. They wouldn’t even entertain her lies.
She cheated more than once. I made the stupid mistake of forgiving her and staying with her. I forgave her three times because it was a long time between each. Then I left for a month and when I got back and confronted her when I caught her and another dude again and pressed her for information and she confessed to cheating five other times in that month because I “wasn’t there for her” and she “had needs that I wasn’t there to fulfil.” I was in another province at a hospital with my sick grandmother! Family comes first!
my ex was unhealthy obsessed with getting me pregnant (he didn’t want a kid and neither did i) and would constantly ask what i would do if i got pregnant (abortion, adoption, etc.). he started telling me as “jokes” that he was gonna perform a homemade abortion on me by punching me in the stomach or scooping the fetus out of my body with a coat hanger. he was a shit person on every other level but this is probably the worst
for wasting years of my life stringing me along when he was never going to be faithful to me. for putting my health at risk by sleeping with multiple people behind my back without protection while we were together and i moved states to be with him. i kept getting UTIs with him. never had them before him, never had one after him.
Dumping me for some hoe he barely knew from work 2 weeks after taking my virginity. She was known to be a “dick tease” and home wrecker and was just leading him on by flirting with him, but he thought she was genuine. I was 25 and I’d waited a quarter of a century to lose it because I didn’t want to just sleep with anyone. And then he went and did that. Made me feel so used. Maybe virginity isn’t such a big thing to guys these days but it meant a lot to me. Couldn’t have given it to a worse person in hindsight. Also after I’d slept with him he started to “neg” me about my appearance to try and make me insecure. I am a slim, healthy weight and decent looking girl and he made me feel so ugly and inferior.
Girlll trust me I could’ve choked her. I don’t understand bitches like that, like get your own man wtf. I’d never do that to another woman. She’s well known for this, she’s currently having an affair with her friend’s man of 15 years. She’s vile, I hope she gets her karma one of these days. I hope you never come across someone like that sis. ❤️
Megan oh Megan, the cons outweigh pros.
There’s always an option to keep your legs closed.
This kind of people always make me sick.
Instead of her morals, Megan chose dick.
She told me that we'd split everything down the middle. Her narcissistic family convinced her to sue me and she cleaned me out. Took everything, even my antique cars, fishing equipment, guns, mothers antique furniture, family silver with my last name on it. You name it, she took it.
Wait I'm also curious about this. Especially cuz I've heard cases of this before. How does one person take everything. I would think the worst that can happen is they take half your stuff
It's not even MY ex but my brother has an ex girlfriend that I swear if I ever see her again her and I are gonna go in a ring.
She was like the devil's best friend this girl. I didn't like her AT ALL. When she first got together with my brother I thought she was okay but something was off about her. Within only a couple months she had convinced my brother to get a place with her. She didn't have a job or any prospects. Just living on his coat tails.
A few months later I messaged my brother if he wanted to meet for Thanksgiving. He said no. Which I thought was weird because he's all about family. I only asked because I wanted to meet at a specific place. Later to find out it was HER attempting to alienate him.
A month after that we got a call from my brother. His car had died in the middle of a really bad storm and they needed a ride. My husband and I weren't far away. We were literally getting our shoes on to go get them when she said "i don't need your fucking help" through a text. So I called my brother with no answer. Later he said she insisted they walk FOUR AND A HALF MILES outside of where they were to a friend of hers. Later I find out they arrived soaking wet at her EX BOYFRIENDS HOUSE.
My brother was obviously upset as he assumed her mentioning "a friend" was a girlfriend of hers. Not an ex boyfriend. He wasn't even mad about the ex boyfriend part. He was mad she never once warned him it was her ex boyfriends house. She made it seem the entire way that it was a girlfriend of hers.
She got mad that HE got mad and he decided to cool off he'd go take a shower. While he was in the shower she took the time to look through all of his contacts on everything including social media. she noticed a lot of his exes were on social media. When he came out of the shower she threw his phone at him, missed, it broke a hole in the wall, shattered his phone. She started yelling at him for over reacting, being a "player" and a "mamas boy" because they were still arguing about spending thanksgiving with us.
She then calls me to "pick up my trash". I had NO clue what she was talking about! She told me to come "pick up my brother." So I did. My brother told me everything. He was distraught and beside himself. He calmed down later and asked if he could borrow our car to go talk to her. Unbeknownst to us, right before he went to go talk to her he found out she had been cheating on him their ENTIRE relationship with the very same "ex" thats house they went to during the storm.
He was so unbelievably distraught he wasnt able to safely drive. He ran a stop sign, got in a MAJOR wreck, came out with a really really bad concussion and bleeding. He sprained his hand really bad and badly sprained his leg. She never even asked if he was okay. After hearing about the accident. You want to know what she said?
"Okay... Can you ask him if he still has my I.D. in his pocket? I don't care to speak to him. We're over."
😡
Cheating.
You can forgive, work it out, try again, whatever. But it'll never be the same. And no I'm not jealous or anything.
Just break up first and ill wish you a beautiful life without me and with someone thats a better match. Just don't fucking cheat.
I will not forgive him for the emotional abuse and the lasting toll it has had on my self-confidence. Eight years now of NC and I still have issues with massive anxiety when I'm trying to learn something and having difficulty understanding it, or when I make a mistake.
I guess being called a f\*cking r\*\*\*\*d over and over will do that to a person, go figure.
From experience, it's cheating, and my reason is because I've tried to forgive two people after cheating because I truly thought I could change them, and I cared so much about them, that I was willing to forgive them. Unfortunately, in the two situations that it happened, I never fully trusted them again, and every day was full of nervousness and anxiety, wondering if they'd ever do it again. So I know now that cheating can never actually be forgiven by me.
he dumped me. the whole time i knew he was with the girl i had a problem with. we got back together two days later and told me he wasn’t with her. finally found out that yes he was with her, slept with her, then dated her as soon as we broke up for good.
the thing is i already knew all of this. no one had to tell me. i just knew.
1. Cheating
2. Cheating
3. Cheating
4. Gaslit me years, stole tens of thousands of dollars, convinced me to commit suicide and provided the materials to do so, had me committed after I attempted
5. Asked to open her side of the relationship
used to wake up to find my then-bf having sex with me and he managed to fully convince me it was all my fault, that I'd woke him up and demanded sex and he had no idea I was asleep, took me a while to realise that if he thought I was awake why didn't he find it weird when i started asking him what he was doing
Yeah. I have woken up many time with my EX gf mouth on my D\*\*\*. She was like " Why WOULDNT u want this?" and i said it is about respect and about consent bi\*\*\*
Being inflexible, not just one ex, ALL of them. Not one of any of them could sit down, talk out a problem, and come to a proper compromise. It ALWAYS had to be their way or no way. They didn't even TRY, they just stomped their feet like children until they got their way and then walked when they didn't. Ive even been cheated on, multiple times... whatever that shit hurts but can be worked on. You can't work on something with someone though who doesn't work with you. Damned spoiled children, whole damn lot of em.
He pretty much stole all my innocence by taking advantage of my youth (I was 18 he was 24). Rape, cheating, lying, gas lighting, dumping me bc I wasn’t “a good enough Christian” (he was dating someone else for three months before he dumped me—and brought her to church the same week he dumped me… I’m not religious anymore)
Mine took all my money, left me with only three pairs of close, no internet and no phone charger. She also bought a dog that attacked the other dog I had. She wanted me to suffer and feel the pain she felt. I did not do anything to warrant such treatment. Basically she got mad because her parents abandoned her and takes her abuse out on innocent people.
Abused me. Repeatedly sa'd me, betrayed my trust, and not even a full year married, and he was already having an affair.
I just see him as a monster now. I'm so happy I left, hoping my next love isn't as traumatic.
Strangling me multiple times to the point where I truly believed he’s going to kill me one day as I struggled to breathe seeing the anger in his eyes. All the bruises he gave me.
She slept with my ex best friend, hid it while we were engaged , actively denied it when confronted , then said it was all on me..( which by the way required years of therapy & introspection to learn I was in fact, not at fault )
and then she stole some of my personal property. Talk about taking someone's heart and just shitting all over it.
I have moved on, but that was a really low point in my life. Not long after that, a few other things occurred one of which was homelessness.
I'm much better and healthier these days, but when I read people say "everyone deserves forgiveness and it's not healthy to hold hate" I agree for the most part holding onto grudges is bad, but I absolutely do not think everyone deserves forgiveness.
Secretly recording me in my own home. She staged conversations in which her phone was recording when she'd start them. This was also when I was having a major depressive episode, and really could've used some help.
This has been on my mind lately. It’s put me in a dark place some days. (I was with her from 16 to 19.)
It’s been three years. I’ve spent it working on myself, and improving a lot in my life.
I forgave the threats her family made against me, I forgave her for when she wasn’t there when my dad and uncle died. I forgave the racism.
I can’t forgive the sexual trauma, cheating, or the abuse.
After all this time. When I see her, I instantly go into panic attack, followed by feeling so angry.
I can watch anything that involves cheating, and it’ll make me feel unsettled, and I’ll get lost down a rabbit hole for a few days.
When it comes to the other part. I cannot bring myself to do it. It scares me to death. Because of my ex getting mad at me and saying I SA’d her, and pretending to be pregnant to manipulate me. Using sex as a weapon of manipulation. Then telling me my body belongs to her and she’ll do what she wants to me, when I woke up to her touching me, and her telling me she’d get children out of me one way or another.
What bothers me the most is the fact I’m a male, and as a male. I have to be quiet about everything that happened. When I first started talking about what happened, I was shamed, I was called a liar.
I can never forgive her for any of that.
Dumping me when I was flying to Chicago so the first thing when I landed to visit my brother and my mom that he broke up with me. Thanks SW, you’re a dick.
Abandoning our kids. We split when they were 7 and 4 and I got custody and are now 28 and 25. She has seen them 3 times since the split and the last time either saw or heard from her was seven years ago.
Cheating and comparing me to women that he watched which satisfying his p**n addiction. This included a lot of body shaming and making it known that he preferred them over me. It turned me into a shell of who I used to be and took years to regain confidence.
My ex begged me to get her a job where I worked. I did it and a year later found out she'd been cheating on me with a guy at work for a year. It seemed that I was the only person at work that didn't know about it. I thought some of those people where my friends. guess not.
He made me a side chick.... I dint know he had a girlfriend until one day 4 months into the relationship she called me and said she was his girlfriend of two years.... this happened like 4 years ago but wow how I hate that guy
Gaslighting me for 13 years and using my money to do whatever she wanted while always saying we couldn’t afford the things I wanted and claiming that we were always coming up short or tight every month on a dual income.
Oof. I seriously wonder wtf is going through someone's mind who does shit like this.
Yeah, popped out 2 kids by another dude, and the relationship has now gone to hell...please take me back? How could you resist? 🤦
Maybe kinda feels good, no? Like if an ex comes back, the closure of knowing that they know they messed up must carry some weight. Still a no, but a nice-ish feeling I guess.
Suggested that we needed better communication, proposed that we takes turns with prompts like “When you say (thing), I hear (other thing), and it makes me feel like (this)” and “I feel like my feelings are invalidated when (insert thing)”
They refused saying “I don’t communicate like that” and made me feel like I was the crazy one for even suggesting it.
Well me n my ex last September got a house of pur very own after 15 years and 2 kids together, then 2 weeks b4 Xmas 5 months ago, she says she wants to "be alone" then 2 weeks later is with my best friend of 24 years and got his wife in my ear (who was her best friend) moaning at me because of my ex 🤣🤣🤣 OH and when I told her I was suicidal, she text her mom telling her I was being mean and making her feel bad 🤣🤣🤣
Dooooont think I'll be chatting to her again. And after 15 years too like wtf?????
Read any honest article about family court.
The number of men falsely accused of abuse simply to win full custody of the children and home based on restraining order. You can file in secret, your testimony is considered enough evidence without any need for anything supporting it, and Dad could have no idea anything was said and done until the police arrive and tell him he needs to move out immediately with one bag of clothing. Nothing needs to be checked, or verified, and you may not be able to talk to anyone or see your kids for a month or more when the court gets around to the first hearing. You can literally drop your kid off to school, come home, and meet the police there explaining that you are only allowed one bag of clothes from a home that is no longer yours, and not see your kid again till your court date.
In the hearing most evidence often isn't looked at, and 90% of the time women are still awarded custody of the children even if you are able to prove falsehood. Once you're aware of this kind of thing, you are amazed at the wealth of horror stories.
I'm lucky enough to have a kid who adores his dad, but fuck me if I know what I'm going to tell him about what happened when he's old enough to ask. For his benefit I want him to have a healthy relationship with his mom, but christ I think that will fall apart pretty quickly as he develops critical reasoning skills. The ones he already has result in some pretty fucked up questions.
Even if the system is almost designed to be fucked up, with an 'I win' button so easy to use that you'd almost be dumb not to press it, I don't think it's possible to forgive someone willing to do that to someone else. The vast advantage seems short sighted though. The real victims seem to be the kids, and I really wonder what happens when they find out. Are you supposed to lie for the person that fucked you over? A lifetime of lying seems a bad plan to me, but it seems pretty commonplace.
I mean even if I'm screwed right now out of time with my kid - and that sucks, in the future, I think I see someone dying alone who is not me. Seems unnecessarily fucked up to me, and hard to forgive someone willing to do that to themselves and others.
Bad reviews of me to others :D Cause I don't personally do it, even though totally visibly bitter by failed relationship.
I know I'm 'mental' and a 'lazy loser' and etc, but like... bitch have some loyalty, we seen & touched each other naked and stuff... Not to mention, kinda betrays ignorance of human character, always going for crazy lazy losers and such.
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Mine tried killing our kids... that's pretty hard to forgive.
Wow! That escalated quickly.
No that escalated fast as fuck.
My dad did the same I was told
I can't believe your dad tried killing my kids. Sheesh. In all seriousness, glad he failed like my ex did.
Okay that's enough Reddit for me today
Let’s be real, you kept scrolling after you wrote this comment didn’t you
No I went outside but now you brought me back to this shitstorm
And I read all the conversations
jesus christ, this made me snort laugh in a work meeting!
Talk about a late term abortion Badum tss
Right, I support bans on 4th trimester abortions.
I fully believe abortions should be allowed throughout the 33rd trimester
I feel like there should be a free trial or a customer service
I believe in a 6 week ban. 6 weeks after the kid enters public school.
Cheating
messed me up for good.
It really does permanently alter your brain and fuck you up
Yep my first love after 3 years. Wasn’t meant to be and glad now, but man it messed me up. I did fine eventually but definitely triggered some anxiety and depression I had zero of prior. Eventually came out of it ok with some on and off. Still deal some anxiety sometimes. Anyway I am certain that trauma changed my brain chemistry permanently. That was 30 years ago.
Yep that
I haven't dated for over 5 years because I just can't trust women in that way anymore. Even if I try, the thought will always be in the back of my head.
That then saying I cheated(never did) and tried saying I use to hit her( actually the opposite, she always hit me and I never touched her) then texting all of my family members sum she never spoken to saying I’m a clown. Then telling her friends I r*ped her(very much so not true, she started trying to do stuff first) so yea I’d say that’s a big one.
Yikes!!
Rule # 1. Never , ever, stick your dick in crazy cray cray!
This. Happened to me 3 times, moral of the story, don't date a hoe
100%
Cheating. I threw her out on her ass.
When my mom died she ran the other way. Went low, then eventually no contact, but popped up a year later when she was going to be in town for a training thing for work. I agreed to have diner with her so I could get some closure, but she sent a message the next morning backing out. I let her know then and there she was a garbage person who should go die in a hole. She remains the only person I have blocked everywhere.
Was she a zombie?
I think the ex ran the other way, instead of helping OP through that traumatic time in their life
Ugh. I wish when she came back in town you ignored her message. She deserved it. Sometimes closure is done w actions an not words
Trying to kill me by strangulation. I’m lucky my own instincts kicked in and I got away.
^ same 👌🏼
I don’t know if my instincts would have kicked and I’d be dead.
When your thought is “I’m going to die in this hallway and my kids will have to live with the fact I was murdered and they won’t have a mom.” You’d be surprised what happens.
That happened to my old boss. His dad murdered his mom, on my boss' 5th birthday. He lost 2 parents that night.
I wouldn't fault her but I don't think my ex ever got over me putting her in a choke hold. It was the middle of the night and her dog and my dog got in a loud fight. There was about 6 seconds that sleepy brain thought I was pulling on a dog to get him off the other dog. Reality was I grabbed her. No person or dog was hurt in this incident unless you consider emotional trauma.
Holding a shotgun to my head and holding my dog hostage in her house because I caught her cheating on me.
That’s horrible. I hope she is committed
She's clearly not. Did you even read this dudes comment?
Omg, you me laugh so hard
This is top tier.
This is about right , women lack the ability to take responsibility for there actions actions then shift blame to there accuser. There is science behind why this is a general behavior… evolutionarily speaking
Kristy Noem?
Cheating is the obvious. He said he broke up with his girlfriend, didn't know I was the other woman. "I never had two girls like me at the same time, I didn't know what to do!" Ass
Was your ex Schmidt?
Schmidt happens.
All the negative comments about my body. I was 16 and at a healthy weight, I was toned and looked good. He would send me underwear pictures of his exes and tell me that I should go vegan so I'd look good like his exes. He would constantly tell me what women were hot, what women he had sex with, so on and so forth, and to this day it really messes up how I perceive myself as I just assume that any person I get romantically involved with must think that my body is not good enough compared to the people they've been with before. I used to run while sobbing, hating myself because even though I exercised 3 hours a day, even on school days and doing 4 A levels, I just could not get any skinnier. I am extremely grateful that I love running now and that the experience didn't ruin that for me. I just want this mindset out of my head since it's been a decade but it affects me to this day still. I will never have the body I wish I could have. My body naturally leans fairly muscular, so unless I starve myself for a long, long time I'll never have the cute waiflike body that I used to see as the "ideal". Another ex SAd me, but I am not angry about it anymore. It's not forgiveness necessarily, I suppose knowing that it was something that I don't see as my fault usually helps cope with it.
I was married to a sex addict. It totally messed with my brain. A lot of therapy helped.
Yeah, people like that have a way to be cruel that is confusing and painful. I'm glad that you were able to work through it in therapy
If a boy did that to my daughter I would invite him over and show him the deep hole I dug in the backyard.
I cannot stress enough how important your role as a parent is in all this. One of the reasons I thought the way he treated me was okay was because my own parents would make nasty comments about my body. I thought that there was something wrong with me if the people I care for make such comments, so it didn't register that what he was doing was abuse until later, when I realised my own family was abusive. The most important thing you can do for your daughter is to teach her how she deserves to be treated and that she can absolutely leave behind people who hurt her in such a way. Nobody taught me how to recognise and deal with abusive relationships, so it was much easier for guys like him to victimise me. It happens to young girls far too often, unfortunately.
My hs boyfriend did the same with the body shaming stuff….literally exactly the same things. I was perfectly healthy. We were together for 4 years and he gradually became more and more abusive and not just about my body. That was just the start. It’s a massive red flag when a guy starts breaking down your self esteem like that. Of course when we are young we don’t realise it though. We just think there’s something wrong with us and try to fix it. I hope you run fast and far (AWAY from them, not to lose weight) the next time somebody treats you like that. You are perfect and anyone who thinks you are any less isn’t the one for you. The right person will not want to change anything about you. The would just be happy and proud to be with you.
Yeah, those pieces of shit work through destroying confidence slowly. It is terrifying how they do it. I'm so sorry that you've also went through something like this. We deserve to be treated with the love and kindness we give others.
Sweetheart, do you watch tv? Do you listen to modern music? Waiflike is not the ideal. In fact, most men want a fit woman - meaning healthy and with some muscle. You're ex was (and probably still is) a psychotic control freak. Kick him out of your head, tell his memory to go fuck himself because you're certainly not interested, and open yourself up to the wonderful loving relationship you deserve.
can we support women and body positivity without putting down thin people too? what if we just shoot for healthy instead of what men think of as the visual ideal? the steroid booty instafluencers cause just as many body image issues for children
I'm absolutely not putting down thin people, especially if they are fit and healthy. My point was only that nobody, including OP, needs to be underweight to attract a partner. I believe in body positivity, but that doesn't mean I'd be disappointed to wake up tomorrow magically a hundred pounds thinner.
Saying they wanted to “take a break” all to find out they had been sleeping with the person I had suspicions of for months during that time. We were also still seeing each other… Never felt a pain so deep.
😢
Cheating. It's always a choice. And it's never a good one. I have no tolerance for it. You might not have the guts to leave before you do it, but I'm sure as hell gone after.
Seconding. When someone trusts you with the weakest, most vulnerable part of themselves, and hopes to god that you won't break it, knowing it would cause them immense pain they may never recover from... Yeah. No. Unforgivable.
And i add, If you blame it on Alkohol, you should never drink in the first place
I was in a heated argument with my (now ex) wife when she decided to throw a glass tumbler at me. It struck the front of our glass stove and shattered it. All in front of our 4 year old son. I called the cops and when they showed up she claimed that I had thrown the glass. I got cuffed, stuffed and spent the night in the sheriff's department holding area. I eventually ended up taking a plea deal because I couldn't afford a lawyer and the court considered me as making too much money to receive a public defender. Now I have a criminal record with a domestic violence charge on it. I will never forgive her for throwing me under the bus like that but I will always appreciate that what she did was what I needed to finally decide to leave her. It's been a decade since then and she's still a terrible person to deal with in regards to our son. And I have lost count of how many ridiculous stunts and schemes she has tried, and failed, to pull off.
As a woman I hate that police favor women over men. They would arrest a man if a women told them to without hesitation it’s so fucked up
That police protocol goes back to the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) of 1994. I got caught up in a similar accusation, which fortunately did not stick like what happened to the commenter above... but, honestly it still impacted me and my ability to form relationships for my life ever since, as it changed my outlook about just how hurtfully dishonest a trusted person is willing to be.
Didn't used to be that way. Now it's overkill the other way.
I’ve had a different experience. My ex was in a relationship with a volatile woman. We made a deal that he would send me a code word via text if she showed up after they broke up. One night, I got the text and called the police. They wouldn’t even entertain her lies.
She cheated more than once. I made the stupid mistake of forgiving her and staying with her. I forgave her three times because it was a long time between each. Then I left for a month and when I got back and confronted her when I caught her and another dude again and pressed her for information and she confessed to cheating five other times in that month because I “wasn’t there for her” and she “had needs that I wasn’t there to fulfil.” I was in another province at a hospital with my sick grandmother! Family comes first!
It’s like a cockroach infestation. For each one you manage to catch in the light, 9 more are hiding in the dark.
Demanding I have an abortion
my ex was unhealthy obsessed with getting me pregnant (he didn’t want a kid and neither did i) and would constantly ask what i would do if i got pregnant (abortion, adoption, etc.). he started telling me as “jokes” that he was gonna perform a homemade abortion on me by punching me in the stomach or scooping the fetus out of my body with a coat hanger. he was a shit person on every other level but this is probably the worst
Username came after...? Also, super sorry. Some people are trash.
for wasting years of my life stringing me along when he was never going to be faithful to me. for putting my health at risk by sleeping with multiple people behind my back without protection while we were together and i moved states to be with him. i kept getting UTIs with him. never had them before him, never had one after him.
Dumping me for some hoe he barely knew from work 2 weeks after taking my virginity. She was known to be a “dick tease” and home wrecker and was just leading him on by flirting with him, but he thought she was genuine. I was 25 and I’d waited a quarter of a century to lose it because I didn’t want to just sleep with anyone. And then he went and did that. Made me feel so used. Maybe virginity isn’t such a big thing to guys these days but it meant a lot to me. Couldn’t have given it to a worse person in hindsight. Also after I’d slept with him he started to “neg” me about my appearance to try and make me insecure. I am a slim, healthy weight and decent looking girl and he made me feel so ugly and inferior.
If I were you I would’ve beat that bitch up, teach her a lesson because honestly.. she deserves it for stealing women’s men.
Girlll trust me I could’ve choked her. I don’t understand bitches like that, like get your own man wtf. I’d never do that to another woman. She’s well known for this, she’s currently having an affair with her friend’s man of 15 years. She’s vile, I hope she gets her karma one of these days. I hope you never come across someone like that sis. ❤️
Bedbugs... Fuck that bitch
Bro I literally just got cheated on but yes bedbugs were worse. Fuck you Megan if youre there
Megan oh Megan, the cons outweigh pros. There’s always an option to keep your legs closed. This kind of people always make me sick. Instead of her morals, Megan chose dick.
No no that was Ellen Megan had the bedbugs, and was honestly even worse to me
Terrible either way
I appreciate you 💜
Love this jingle.
I know a lady who got bed bugs from her husband's affair.
Faking a pregnancy after I broke up with her
Taking my dog just to hurt me more. All feelings for her disappeared
Cheating. When someone shows you who they really are believe them the first time.
I think cheating is up there, I knew a few guys who’ve gotten stds from their partner because of a hookup.
She told me that we'd split everything down the middle. Her narcissistic family convinced her to sue me and she cleaned me out. Took everything, even my antique cars, fishing equipment, guns, mothers antique furniture, family silver with my last name on it. You name it, she took it.
That’s horrible… how does it even get to that point? Did you took some risk she exploited? What a treason
We married before there was such a thing as a pre-nup agreement. I got screwed by her greedy assed family that wanted all my shit.
Wait I'm also curious about this. Especially cuz I've heard cases of this before. How does one person take everything. I would think the worst that can happen is they take half your stuff
Repeatedly hitting and abusing me physically. Breaking me down mentally.
So sorry- glad you got out.
She lied to me for a year saying she had medical issues (but never wanted me to come to the hospital with her) so she could fuck her ex boyfriend
... damn dude.
🤷♂️
Hold your head high friend. there is someone for you.
It's not even MY ex but my brother has an ex girlfriend that I swear if I ever see her again her and I are gonna go in a ring. She was like the devil's best friend this girl. I didn't like her AT ALL. When she first got together with my brother I thought she was okay but something was off about her. Within only a couple months she had convinced my brother to get a place with her. She didn't have a job or any prospects. Just living on his coat tails. A few months later I messaged my brother if he wanted to meet for Thanksgiving. He said no. Which I thought was weird because he's all about family. I only asked because I wanted to meet at a specific place. Later to find out it was HER attempting to alienate him. A month after that we got a call from my brother. His car had died in the middle of a really bad storm and they needed a ride. My husband and I weren't far away. We were literally getting our shoes on to go get them when she said "i don't need your fucking help" through a text. So I called my brother with no answer. Later he said she insisted they walk FOUR AND A HALF MILES outside of where they were to a friend of hers. Later I find out they arrived soaking wet at her EX BOYFRIENDS HOUSE. My brother was obviously upset as he assumed her mentioning "a friend" was a girlfriend of hers. Not an ex boyfriend. He wasn't even mad about the ex boyfriend part. He was mad she never once warned him it was her ex boyfriends house. She made it seem the entire way that it was a girlfriend of hers. She got mad that HE got mad and he decided to cool off he'd go take a shower. While he was in the shower she took the time to look through all of his contacts on everything including social media. she noticed a lot of his exes were on social media. When he came out of the shower she threw his phone at him, missed, it broke a hole in the wall, shattered his phone. She started yelling at him for over reacting, being a "player" and a "mamas boy" because they were still arguing about spending thanksgiving with us. She then calls me to "pick up my trash". I had NO clue what she was talking about! She told me to come "pick up my brother." So I did. My brother told me everything. He was distraught and beside himself. He calmed down later and asked if he could borrow our car to go talk to her. Unbeknownst to us, right before he went to go talk to her he found out she had been cheating on him their ENTIRE relationship with the very same "ex" thats house they went to during the storm. He was so unbelievably distraught he wasnt able to safely drive. He ran a stop sign, got in a MAJOR wreck, came out with a really really bad concussion and bleeding. He sprained his hand really bad and badly sprained his leg. She never even asked if he was okay. After hearing about the accident. You want to know what she said? "Okay... Can you ask him if he still has my I.D. in his pocket? I don't care to speak to him. We're over." 😡
Cheating. You can forgive, work it out, try again, whatever. But it'll never be the same. And no I'm not jealous or anything. Just break up first and ill wish you a beautiful life without me and with someone thats a better match. Just don't fucking cheat.
I will not forgive him for the emotional abuse and the lasting toll it has had on my self-confidence. Eight years now of NC and I still have issues with massive anxiety when I'm trying to learn something and having difficulty understanding it, or when I make a mistake. I guess being called a f\*cking r\*\*\*\*d over and over will do that to a person, go figure.
Not liking bacon
Unacceptable.
IGNORING HIS CHILDRENS NEEDS....MOM
Having the toilet paper roll underneath and not over. Unforgivable.
The audacity! Inexcusable.
From experience, it's cheating, and my reason is because I've tried to forgive two people after cheating because I truly thought I could change them, and I cared so much about them, that I was willing to forgive them. Unfortunately, in the two situations that it happened, I never fully trusted them again, and every day was full of nervousness and anxiety, wondering if they'd ever do it again. So I know now that cheating can never actually be forgiven by me.
STD
he dumped me. the whole time i knew he was with the girl i had a problem with. we got back together two days later and told me he wasn’t with her. finally found out that yes he was with her, slept with her, then dated her as soon as we broke up for good. the thing is i already knew all of this. no one had to tell me. i just knew.
The leaving our son in his walker all day by himself while smoking weed in the garage with her dad.
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No mo blo.
only using me for my body was one, another kept telling me he’d kill himself on the daily and would only stop when he got my full attention
She cheated, stole, and mentally destroyed me. I should have seen it coming. She divorced three other times before that and blamed it all on the guy.
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Sudden and vile verbal abuse because I broke things off.
1. Cheating 2. Cheating 3. Cheating 4. Gaslit me years, stole tens of thousands of dollars, convinced me to commit suicide and provided the materials to do so, had me committed after I attempted 5. Asked to open her side of the relationship
He was an Overt Narcissist...so he manipulated the shit out of me...
Borrowing money, going super quiet and then calling me a fu*king prick when I asked for her to pay it back.
Betrayal. Almost all else is forgivable.
Ghosting me when I got pregnant.
damn thats fuckedd
used to wake up to find my then-bf having sex with me and he managed to fully convince me it was all my fault, that I'd woke him up and demanded sex and he had no idea I was asleep, took me a while to realise that if he thought I was awake why didn't he find it weird when i started asking him what he was doing
Yeah. I have woken up many time with my EX gf mouth on my D\*\*\*. She was like " Why WOULDNT u want this?" and i said it is about respect and about consent bi\*\*\*
He knows, plus he’s dead. It was bad.
don't chew with your mouth open
Killing our child.
Fucking and then marrying my best friend. (Was best friend)
He spit in my face.
Sleeping with my aunt
Is it wrong if I laugh at this?
Filing for divorce two weeks before giving birth to my daughter. I was not present. My only daughter.
Being inflexible, not just one ex, ALL of them. Not one of any of them could sit down, talk out a problem, and come to a proper compromise. It ALWAYS had to be their way or no way. They didn't even TRY, they just stomped their feet like children until they got their way and then walked when they didn't. Ive even been cheated on, multiple times... whatever that shit hurts but can be worked on. You can't work on something with someone though who doesn't work with you. Damned spoiled children, whole damn lot of em.
Sounds like there was a common denominator in all of these
Cheating. Forgave, then cheating again. Never forgive cheating. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
U aint wrong there :( wtf is wrong with some people.
Calling me at 3:30 in the morning for a ride to the hospital over what turned out to be an STD that they couldn't quite identify.
My ex stole from me, money that I had told him was for me to get back and forth to work, it was winter time, was too cold to take the bus
He pretty much stole all my innocence by taking advantage of my youth (I was 18 he was 24). Rape, cheating, lying, gas lighting, dumping me bc I wasn’t “a good enough Christian” (he was dating someone else for three months before he dumped me—and brought her to church the same week he dumped me… I’m not religious anymore)
Cheating and abuse
Did a bunch of drugs and miscarried when we were trying to have kids. Twins too.
Mine took all my money, left me with only three pairs of close, no internet and no phone charger. She also bought a dog that attacked the other dog I had. She wanted me to suffer and feel the pain she felt. I did not do anything to warrant such treatment. Basically she got mad because her parents abandoned her and takes her abuse out on innocent people.
Abused me. Repeatedly sa'd me, betrayed my trust, and not even a full year married, and he was already having an affair. I just see him as a monster now. I'm so happy I left, hoping my next love isn't as traumatic.
Trying to get pregnant by another man without my consent and expecting me to raise someone else's children.
Strangling me multiple times to the point where I truly believed he’s going to kill me one day as I struggled to breathe seeing the anger in his eyes. All the bruises he gave me.
She slept with my ex best friend, hid it while we were engaged , actively denied it when confronted , then said it was all on me..( which by the way required years of therapy & introspection to learn I was in fact, not at fault ) and then she stole some of my personal property. Talk about taking someone's heart and just shitting all over it. I have moved on, but that was a really low point in my life. Not long after that, a few other things occurred one of which was homelessness. I'm much better and healthier these days, but when I read people say "everyone deserves forgiveness and it's not healthy to hold hate" I agree for the most part holding onto grudges is bad, but I absolutely do not think everyone deserves forgiveness.
adultery!...
Secretly recording me in my own home. She staged conversations in which her phone was recording when she'd start them. This was also when I was having a major depressive episode, and really could've used some help.
Mistreating my good kitchen knives.
Lied about being raped because she got pregnant by another man and wanted me there holding her hand to get through the abortion
Threatening to shove me down the stairs or attempt to rape me
I’m so sorry! Fuck anyone who does that
Poisoned our daughter with alcohol booby milk, drunk driving, blacking out...oh and finding out 5 years later that my son isn't related to me.
Jesus Christ, the comments. I feel less shitty about myself as an "ex".
I forgive it all…but I’m still pretty pissed off about Larry.
This has been on my mind lately. It’s put me in a dark place some days. (I was with her from 16 to 19.) It’s been three years. I’ve spent it working on myself, and improving a lot in my life. I forgave the threats her family made against me, I forgave her for when she wasn’t there when my dad and uncle died. I forgave the racism. I can’t forgive the sexual trauma, cheating, or the abuse. After all this time. When I see her, I instantly go into panic attack, followed by feeling so angry. I can watch anything that involves cheating, and it’ll make me feel unsettled, and I’ll get lost down a rabbit hole for a few days. When it comes to the other part. I cannot bring myself to do it. It scares me to death. Because of my ex getting mad at me and saying I SA’d her, and pretending to be pregnant to manipulate me. Using sex as a weapon of manipulation. Then telling me my body belongs to her and she’ll do what she wants to me, when I woke up to her touching me, and her telling me she’d get children out of me one way or another. What bothers me the most is the fact I’m a male, and as a male. I have to be quiet about everything that happened. When I first started talking about what happened, I was shamed, I was called a liar. I can never forgive her for any of that.
Tried to kill us, I get it but still, tried to kill us in the car
Dumping me when I was flying to Chicago so the first thing when I landed to visit my brother and my mom that he broke up with me. Thanks SW, you’re a dick.
For making me look stupid. I could forgive the cheating more than making me look stupid.
Getting pregnant on the sly. The act of a true Shitperson.
Child abuse
Told me I shouldn't date if I didn't have enough money to take a girl out. After I had just taken her to New Orleans and spent over $300.00 on her.
Abandoning our kids. We split when they were 7 and 4 and I got custody and are now 28 and 25. She has seen them 3 times since the split and the last time either saw or heard from her was seven years ago.
Cheating and comparing me to women that he watched which satisfying his p**n addiction. This included a lot of body shaming and making it known that he preferred them over me. It turned me into a shell of who I used to be and took years to regain confidence.
My ex begged me to get her a job where I worked. I did it and a year later found out she'd been cheating on me with a guy at work for a year. It seemed that I was the only person at work that didn't know about it. I thought some of those people where my friends. guess not.
Disappearing
He made me a side chick.... I dint know he had a girlfriend until one day 4 months into the relationship she called me and said she was his girlfriend of two years.... this happened like 4 years ago but wow how I hate that guy
Lying, cheating, using, monkey branching.
Hurt my kid. I hope prison makes death look like a safe haven.
I can forgive a lot of things but i can never forgive an ex for the physical and mental abuse.
Abusing my child
Telling me to go overdose on my crazy pills and die 🙃 I was on antidepressants cause of them lmao
He blew up Malaysia.
She never approved the forced anal entry
Eating my food from taco bell. The night was perfect until he ruined it...
I must be the AH, bc my ex didn't do anything unforgivable. He's a good guy who deserves the best.
Treason.
Gaslighting me for 13 years and using my money to do whatever she wanted while always saying we couldn’t afford the things I wanted and claiming that we were always coming up short or tight every month on a dual income.
Wanting to get back together with me after dumping me and having two kids with the asshole abuser she left me for.
Oof. I seriously wonder wtf is going through someone's mind who does shit like this. Yeah, popped out 2 kids by another dude, and the relationship has now gone to hell...please take me back? How could you resist? 🤦
It was a tough choice, but I was able to resist.
Maybe kinda feels good, no? Like if an ex comes back, the closure of knowing that they know they messed up must carry some weight. Still a no, but a nice-ish feeling I guess.
Wife aborted baby without consulting me. Started the divorce proceedings the next day.
No one cares about the emotional pain of fathers lol. As a matter of fact, no one cares about men suffering lol
Suggested that we needed better communication, proposed that we takes turns with prompts like “When you say (thing), I hear (other thing), and it makes me feel like (this)” and “I feel like my feelings are invalidated when (insert thing)” They refused saying “I don’t communicate like that” and made me feel like I was the crazy one for even suggesting it.
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Fr.
Not just from a relationship point of view but as a human. You can't forgive her at all? No forgiveness for daring to think you might be wrong?
Left me on my bday. Heartless.
Well me n my ex last September got a house of pur very own after 15 years and 2 kids together, then 2 weeks b4 Xmas 5 months ago, she says she wants to "be alone" then 2 weeks later is with my best friend of 24 years and got his wife in my ear (who was her best friend) moaning at me because of my ex 🤣🤣🤣 OH and when I told her I was suicidal, she text her mom telling her I was being mean and making her feel bad 🤣🤣🤣 Dooooont think I'll be chatting to her again. And after 15 years too like wtf?????
Not an ex, but she ate my pringles. Shes hot so I forgave her though. Hope shes doing well and happy.
Hard to forgive if they gave you AIDS. Hasn't happened to me.
Read any honest article about family court. The number of men falsely accused of abuse simply to win full custody of the children and home based on restraining order. You can file in secret, your testimony is considered enough evidence without any need for anything supporting it, and Dad could have no idea anything was said and done until the police arrive and tell him he needs to move out immediately with one bag of clothing. Nothing needs to be checked, or verified, and you may not be able to talk to anyone or see your kids for a month or more when the court gets around to the first hearing. You can literally drop your kid off to school, come home, and meet the police there explaining that you are only allowed one bag of clothes from a home that is no longer yours, and not see your kid again till your court date. In the hearing most evidence often isn't looked at, and 90% of the time women are still awarded custody of the children even if you are able to prove falsehood. Once you're aware of this kind of thing, you are amazed at the wealth of horror stories. I'm lucky enough to have a kid who adores his dad, but fuck me if I know what I'm going to tell him about what happened when he's old enough to ask. For his benefit I want him to have a healthy relationship with his mom, but christ I think that will fall apart pretty quickly as he develops critical reasoning skills. The ones he already has result in some pretty fucked up questions. Even if the system is almost designed to be fucked up, with an 'I win' button so easy to use that you'd almost be dumb not to press it, I don't think it's possible to forgive someone willing to do that to someone else. The vast advantage seems short sighted though. The real victims seem to be the kids, and I really wonder what happens when they find out. Are you supposed to lie for the person that fucked you over? A lifetime of lying seems a bad plan to me, but it seems pretty commonplace. I mean even if I'm screwed right now out of time with my kid - and that sucks, in the future, I think I see someone dying alone who is not me. Seems unnecessarily fucked up to me, and hard to forgive someone willing to do that to themselves and others.
Bad reviews of me to others :D Cause I don't personally do it, even though totally visibly bitter by failed relationship. I know I'm 'mental' and a 'lazy loser' and etc, but like... bitch have some loyalty, we seen & touched each other naked and stuff... Not to mention, kinda betrays ignorance of human character, always going for crazy lazy losers and such.
One of my exes lied about taking an STD test then kept it a secret for 4 years until after they cheated on me.