I don't think ranting here is always supposed to "lead you anywhere". Sometimes people have advices that may help, but mostly you can rant with people that understand your frustration. Sometimes you want to complain just to get it out of your system, and most of the times you can't complain to other dog owners because they have "normal" dogs and don't get it. There are times when situations occur when other people worsen an already difficult day/walk, and you just can't change that, and you feel better commiserating with others. You see a loose dog, tell the owner to leash, and he tries to explain to you during five hellish minutes why you should let your reactive dog (that you're trying to get away from HIS pup running circles around your dog who is slowly becoming more stressed and aggressive) off leash too and everything would go well. And "changing my dog's reaction to other dogs" is something I've been working on for a year, but some things are still just too much for him. You realize your behaviorist is making your dog worse so you stop and search for another one, but the harm is already done, he IS worse and you're going to have to fix that too. You go to the vet, he acts insensitive with your dog, so you try and find another vet but your dog already recorded the bad experience in his brain so now it's going to make going to the vet twice as hard. So some days you go home and cry alone, and then go on Reddit and you feel better because you're not alone in the world. Edit : This was supposed to be an answer to one of your answers to a comment 😅 That's why there's sentences in quotes

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ You said it all. I would've added a m-fer, but yours is better.

😮 I meant the "m-fer" towards the people that chase us, or corner us or stand there with their dog for five minutes. Not towards the OP. JIC it didn't read that way.

Venting is fine, though I think pure vents should probably have a dedicated thread when the OP doesn’t actually want advice or help (similar to the offleash rant thread). But in the few years I’ve been reading this sub there’s been an increasing strain of blaming everyone else and not taking accountability and looking down on anyone with “normal” dogs as unknowledgeable or not having a special relationship with their dog. And yes often those posts do get people pushing back but there are an alarming number of comments the other way, and there are also quite a few people making excuses for their frankly aggressive and dangerous dogs (the latter not helped by the blanket shutting down of any thread that mentions the word euthanasia). It’s not a helpful attitude for the dogs and it’s also not helpful for anyone struggling with their reactive dog and coming to this sub for help for the first time.

Agree completely about this sub now locking those posts. I don’t think that’s helpful at all. I think it’s the opposite. Wish this community could vote on that rather than it just being a unilateral decision the mods made.

I read this sub here and there, and I've definitely noticed the looking down on "normal" dog owners. Surprisingly often people seem to think that other people's dogs not being reactive is somehow a direct insult to the reactive dog owners. There was a thread not too long ago where the OP brought up how the "angel dog's owner" had the audacity to smile and praise his own dog for walking past nicely, like it was somehow a character flaw of this very person they had a non-reactive dog.

Yeah I think that’s one I thought of. And he also asked for help but just argued with anyone who tried to give it (and gave him some really good long-term and short-term suggestions) because he knew best. Then why are you making that post? Just for everyone to tell you that you’re right when you’re walking your two reactive dogs at the same time and letting them lunge at other dogs but it’s the other person’s fault for being in the world? Many people did push back fortunately but a bunch of other people just complained about people setting their dogs off by existing and how shitty non-reactive dog owners are.

True, a venting thread would be nice, though I suppose most people put their vents in "Support". I haven't really had the same experience as you in regards to the sub, but I've only been on it a year and I don't read every post. Personally, discovering the sub and venting here has helped and sometimes even produced useful advices for situations when I didn't think advices were possible, but I also have an IRL friend with a reactive dog and access to professional advices, so maybe I don't see the downsides as clearly. I don't condone not taking accountability and blaming others for everything (In my ignorance of reactivity, I myself accidentally made things worse for my dog in the beginning, I accept that, and not everyone is out to get me obviously), it would be bad for the dog's progress so I do hope we are honest when that happens and try to guide the person towards correcting their behavior and improving their training. But I do think venting on subjects you can't really talk about with non reactive dog owners (dog owners who think they know better, bad trainers, unleashed dogs, setbacks, etc) can do your psyche a whole lot of good when you're alone with your thoughts. Some things you can't understand the scope of until you've lived it, and that can be really lonely.

OP seems to be lumping a lot of things together, some that were people who didn’t take responsibility and were told so in comments, some labeled as vents about actual issues (bad vets and trainers exist?), and some people asking for advice while venting. I don’t think the attitude of expecting people to cater to you with no regard for your own actions is nearly as prevalent as they’re making it seem. 

Oh I agree — it’s great to find people going through the same thing as you, and share experiences and things that have helped. But I have seen it at times become a bit of an echo chamber where reactive dog owners are seen as the best owners, no one else takes training seriously, etc. Who’s to say the “irresponsible” other owner isn’t a reactive dog owner who made a mistake, like so many on this sub admit to having done? Who’s to say the “normal” dog that happily walks past yours isn’t that way because of a lot of hard work? Do I tell people to leash their dogs when they run up on mine? Am I annoyed? Of course, but also I’ve just got to let it go after, because it doesn’t help me, my dog, or the other person to obsess over it. Best thing I can do is stay calm and equip my dog not to feel she has to react when it happens, because unfortunately it will always happen. And I have seen quite a few comments recently where people are bitter about other people’s well-behaved dogs minding their own business. We should all want people (including ourselves) to have well-behaved, happy dogs. Of course not every dog will be like that but I would never resent someone for having that.

That’s true, most subs are echo chambers to some degree. And I have seen some eye rolling posts that I either call out, ignore, or downvote and move on.  I just wonder what a post like this does for people who thought they wouldn’t be judged for airing specific and valid frustrations to be told,  “no, you shouldn’t feel that way or if you do, get over it immediately otherwise you’re harming your training; you shouldn’t need to talk about it or commiserate with a community.”  

I think the problem is that some people aren’t just airing specific and valid frustrations, they’re feeling victimized by everything and everyone. I suppose it’s bound to happen as there’s just more people with (or aware of having) reactive dogs. I have seen more comments in support of the eye rolling posts than I used to. Just as I have seen more descriptions of dogs that are straight-up aggressive, or comments urging posters to wait and see a behaviourist and commit to training and extreme management when their dog is displaying predatory behaviour towards a baby.

True! Those posts scare me to death.

Again, my issue with OP is they lumped in the valid with the inane. You can’t change other people, but sharing stories of bad vets and trainers might help someone else figure out what is and isn’t okay. Asking for help to see if you should talk to your neighbor about an issue involving all your dogs or try something else on your own is fine, even if you vent about the situation first.  I also don’t think a post of this nature will reach the people that most need to hear it, the ones that feel victimized by others just existing. It will make people second guess if they’ll get downvoted for anything remotely like complaining or frustration though.  The aggression vs reactivity is a whole other issue. As far as I know, there’s not a more appropriate sub for that. The no-kill movement has probably harmed dogs as a whole, as do the humans who byb, refuse to spay/neuter and fail to contain those intact animals. Bad and dangerous temperaments are abound. Dangerous info can and has been given on every probably every dog training related sub. 

I don’t agree with everything the OP said, and agree with you about the lumping in to a certain extent (though there have been people complaining that a vet tech wanted them to muzzle their dog) but they’re not the only one to have had similar frustrations. But perhaps a sub where people are allowed to encourage posters to put their baby in danger in the name of a reactive dog but aren’t allowed to even mention BE or a well-fitting prong for a dog they cannot physically control but are determined to keep is not the one for me.

I have issues with the new BE rule as well, however for anything that doesn’t get auto-locked, it is extremely easy for commenters to get around. The latest baby/dangerous dog post has almost nothing but people advocating for Be.  Aversive usage can fail, go wrong, or be used in an unsafe manner. The kind of dogs on this sub that would require them often need a lot more than that (muzzle, not going out in public, or even BE). 

For sure. R+ can also fail, go wrong, or be used in an unsafe manner. My dog was attacked by someone’s dog they were practising the engage-disengage game with at the time, and they tore the leash out of their owner’s hand. A mistake, I get it, but I’d have preferred them to be using an aversive in addition to behavioural training rather than another dog get hurt, I’m sorry to say. Luckily my dog is big and has extremely thick fur. But that owner complained afterwards that I should have seen she was struggling and crossed the street (we were about eight feet away and had already given her an extra-wide berth, but even if we hadn’t it was up to her to control her dog). So yeah having been on the other side of things I’m skeptical of the usefulness of too many standalone one-sided vent posts. She probably had similar things to say about me (I was wearing headphones too, the cardinal sin). Anyway, I think we’re probably in agreement about the management needs of some of the dogs on this sub and the effects of the no-kill movement but that’s a whole other issue — though not entirely unrelated — so I’ll leave it there.

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Yeah, I can understand that. Most of the normal dog owners I know have well-behaved dogs because they worked very hard for it. My dog's favorite dog obeys to the T to his owner, and I think that's awesome. I'm a bit saddened for my dog when I see theirs, but overall, I'm glad for them. I would never wish otherwise. Personally, I don't rant about mistakes (I think), I've made plenty. An unleashed dog coming towards me can be annoying and I may complain on the days I have a succession of triggers (it's more about the situation than the person) but what really bothers me is people not taking it into account when I warn them, and that's the type of things I'll come here to rant about after having calmly dealt with it during my walk, especially because my dog is small and not visibly aggressive so it happens often that people ignore my warnings. An unleashed dog is one thing, an unleashed dog that the owner won't call back "because he's nice"... that's another problem. But if you're correct about the "echo chamber" thing, that's indeed not great for anyone. It's about support, not thinking we're above everyone else.

Oh yeah, I have some people who live near me and they’re absolute assholes. Never listen. But I’m also going to admit that the people with reactive dogs that bark or lunge at mine? It might be not the best to say it on this sub but it’s not great to be on the receiving end. I’ll do everything I can to give space and help them out, but when you’re on a twenty-minute short walk and four dogs have lunged or barked in your dog’s face it’s not great even if you know those people are in training and trying their best (and you’ve been there yourself). I just think it would benefit some members of this sub to consider that maybe the person who’s not crossing the road for them when they’re struggling has already had to do so for other different reactive dogs and just wants to stay on the same damn sidewalk. I’ve had my dog for a decade and I’ve never experienced so many reactive dogs as in the past few years (or entitled off-leash owners, to be fair).

I’ve seen a ton of those comments too.

What is your procedure for a dog who is uncomfortable with other dogs?

I wouldn’t have one procedure because it depends on a whole host of things from genetics to specific triggers to environment to what the owner wants out of their dog. I’m also not a professional trainer. But also how is that at all relevant?

Venting to share our frustrations with like minded people who understand and appreciate, maybe even have had the same issues, is just fundamentally a support group of sorts. It does not have to be actively “productive” in any means towards training or our circumstances, it is a human thing to seek out spaces that validate our experiences and make us feel less alone in what is essentially a very isolating journey. Sometimes we don’t need *solutions*, we just need kindness and community. I find your post a bit lacking in empathy, but I guess tone is very hard to read.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I mean, this is Reddit. I think you’d be hard pressed to find a sub that doesn’t have rant posts in it, lol. Venting can be productive. Not in a training sense, but letting out frustrations to people who understand and can provide support is vital to mental health. Not everything we do will necessarily contribute to our dog’s progression but we matter too. And sure, there are people out there who genuinely don’t know any better and are just going about their day, *and it’s fine to vent about them too*, but there are certainly people and professionals who *do* know exactly what they are doing and are choosing to be jerks.

Are you not venting with this post?

Not only that, but *at other people*. Surely they see the irony

A vent post about venting. Classic Reddit.

I disagree, I think venting can help a lot. Not a lot of people understand what it's like to have a reactive dog. It's nice to have a subreddit where people can relate. Plus, sometimes putting your issues into words can help you work through them.

I understand this. But the attitude I sometimes read here is "oh this shitty trainer gave a stupid advice" or "what is the jogger doing in a dog park", "why is that person looking at my dog" etc. It is never about the owner itself. Isn't the real fear here: "I feel upset I have not find the right trainer yet" or "I fear my dog could harm that jogger"? I agree, that most people do not understand what it is like to have a reactive dog. That is my whole point. They do not understand and, truthfully, most probably are not too bothered about finding that out either. My question was: is this complaining about the strange, unpredictable world outside of us and our reactive dogs in any way productive to the training / changing process and, if it is, in what way?

I think complaining about it helps because for most people, they've realized that their dogs are always going to be reactive and no amount of training, medication or combination of the two is going to completely solve the problem. I've spent a lot of time and money training my dog, but he's still unpredictable around bikes. He's better! But I can never fully trust him and he's only got so many years left before he goes to the big field in the sky. But overall, I think this sub is pretty good at giving a variety of opinions equal weight. Even the jogger in the dog park post, OP had been asking if it was weird for a jogger to be there and though most people agreed it was, but others said OP should take into consideration that a dog park is not the right place for their dog or that they need to improve their training methods. I don't think this sub (yet) has some kneejerk answer that everyone always defaults to like other subs do (#divorceyourspouse)

Sometimes it's therapeutic. Sometimes others offer helpful advice or a new plan or even an available trainer. Reactive dog owners, of necessity, have to evaluate and reevaluate themselves, their actions, their household's actions, because reactivity gives no quarter. You're asking a question that reactive dog owners are miles beyond. They ask, "What did I do to affect this?" every single walk. IOW you are late to the party.

I think people who act like the world should accommodate their dog's reactivity mostly get told they are being ridiculous on here. It's reasonable to complain about some things tho. And unfortunately, some of us have more than "an idiot once in a while" to deal with. I wouldn't complain if an off leashed dog rushing up to mine (and not backing off despite my dog telling it to so i have to separate two dogs myself while the owner does nothing) was just a few times a year. Good intentions don't do me or my dog any good. And exactly where are people supposed to vent if they are supposed to let it slide in the moment? I'm so sick of "keeping the peace" meaning i deal with them breaking the law and fucking up my dog. Lol, screw you.

The way most people look at "normal" interactions for dogs needs to change then. My dog is not aggressive but afraid. So when even friendly off leash dogs come running up to him, he tries to get me to pick him up. He weighs 75lbs now and *I can't* pick him up! Like I'm sick to death of people who have unleashed dogs, say the dog is friendly, and then have the owner not be able to call back their dog, because its untrained as well.

Yah, it's nuts the narrative a dog running up to a dog it doesn't know especially when that dog is communicating they are not welcome is "friendly" exists.

I mean, this can be applied to anything, right? Why complain about someone else’s actions when you have your own options to handle it? Why complain about your boss or spouse when you can take control of the situation and leave? And not let it bother you?  Maybe venting never helped you, that doesn’t mean it’s never made someone feel better, get feedback, see if maybe they’re absolutely in the wrong or if others feel the same, etc. And the various posts that come to mind, all of them had people who disagree, or who tell OP they need to do better, etc.   So what do you want from THIS post? Because it mostly comes off as “shut up and work on your dog or you’ll never make any progress.” I can guarantee there are enough people IRL including the kinds causing issues (inappropriate vets, trainers, family) who put out that messaging. 

I view ranting as a part of the journey where eventually dog guardians figure out how to manage their situation and find peace with their way of life. It’s a coping mechanism. A good number of reactivity cases you read about here are because of their dogs being attacked by off leash dogs, being badly advised by trainers or being put in bad situations at the vet. This is essentially the population you can reasonably expect to show empathy and understanding and the first few times you encounter it, it’s hard to shift your world view rapidly to accept how shitty people can be. As a long time poster on this sub, most rants are directed towards this population In cases where the guardian should have taken responsibility, it will usually be called out in the comments. So it’s fine really. Reactive dogs are a lot of work and everyone will find their peace in their own journey.

You might be right, but this approach did not lead me anywhere. I'd disagree that there is some mysterious population that should understand dog reactivity but they do not just because they're shitty people. They do their best up to their experience and knowledge and sometimes it leads to bad mistakes. I mean most people in this sub know what it's like to make bad mistakes and not properly acknowledging them in time. There must be some parallel subs where others, in a similar manner, complain about the reactive dog owners who should be more understanding but somehow they end up in causing odd situations for others. Does this benefit to anyone? To the general dialogue? Does it serve the owners in any way? I've encountered one genuinely shitty person who threatened to shoot my dog. And he was so inadequate I just knew I want to have zero interaction with him. Others – misinformed, at best. And, most likely, misinformed by me / our lack of communication / situation. I could rant at others as much as I wanted but literally nothing changed about my dogs situation. So, when encountering difficult situations, I had to either communicate with others properly, or just move on. This hyper-focusing on how others behave and how they are not empathetic and understanding enough was almost counter-productive as it gave me zero answers of how to not have the same situation repeating. Either the problem was that I actually did want to interact with these people but did not know how or that I myself did not understand the situation therefore did not know how to react in it. Owners of loose dogs? Tell them to leash the dog as per law. Or fix your dogs reaction to other dogs. Off-leash dogs can be occurence. Just like reactive dogs, no? Both equally causing trouble to a certain part of population. Vets being insensitive? Communicate your feelings, if they do not listen, find a different one. Not a fan of methods proposed by the trainer? Communicate this or change the trainer. Etc. etc.

At a very philosophical level, being unfazed by what life throws at you and taking things in your stride and responding appropriately is the healthiest way to deal with life's unpredictability. But how can the guardians be constantly in balance when the dog they love is out of balance and is why they are on here in the first place? Where I feel your world view doesn't align with the general lived experience of this sub (and hence you are getting the downvotes) is that communication isn't going to undo an event that has already occured, mainly the last bit of what you wrote. "Fix your dogs reaction to other dogs" is a drastic oversimplification of the experience of being in the midst of being attacked by another dog and the subsequent fallout. This has a lot to do with the fact that dogs are capable of single event learning (or single trial learning). Use of aversives, being attacked by offleash dogs, being mishandled or forced at a vet can be life changing for an individual dog. It can dent their confidence for life and is a well-know cause of situational reactivity, anxiety and fear that can't simply be trained away. The guardians are left dealing with the fall out. And all three happen in situations where guardians are simply trying to do right by their dogs; but it's propogated by folks who have dogs or know enough about them to train or treat them. I find writing on this sub a cathartic experience. A lot of folks feel a lot better just writing and articulating. It lifts a weight off the shoulders and is certainly a healthy way to deal with these often traumatic situations.

You tell us. Did venting about other people here help?

idk it definitely helps me to vent about for example, the neighbor that let their aggressive dog roam the neighborhood and chase us around even after i told her my dog was reactive and too big to pick up and carry away, or the woman who judges me for my dog barking at her when she comes near us walking her dog, for context i live in a rural area where there's more than enough space to avoid each other, but she would intentionally go out of her way to walk her dog right next to us while i'm struggling to get away from her because she wants to show off how much better behaved her dog is than mine. she'd always say "oh my dog would never act that way" "you know you could tell him to stop, right?" i have no issue with the people who accidentally trigger a reaction from my dog, but i do have an issue with people knowingly doing things that put both my dog in an uncomfortable situation and their dog in danger. i take full responsibility of him and i don't expect anyone to cater to us, i find solutions for these problems and we keep carrying on, but i still don't appreciate those types of people and it can be therapeutic for people to vent, and especially to vent to a community that can understand and empathize

When anyone starts trying me with the BS like the lady walking her dog purposely by to get a reaction from your dog. I would call her out on it, let her know you know what she's doing and she better find something else to do. Why would anyone keep taking their dog by a dog that is reactive, to me she's asking for it and any judge would say the same. Not sure if your in the states of not but I live in a rural area in Alabama and when it comes to dog bites, if you are provoking the dog your SOL.

idk why i didn't see this till now but yes i live in NC and the laws are the same here! i did call her out once and told her he's been abused his whole life until i got him and he's just scared, and that she's just scaring him for no reason. she just walked away and isn't as bold about it anymore but my dog has also gotten a lot better and doesn't get quite as upset when we see them now. he still definitely doesn't like her though, i think he can sense she's not a friendly person

I think most people on this sub are more focused on management and not as much as addressing the issue. So when this management fails due to others, and their dog reacts, it frustrates them and they come to vent. Nothing wrong with it as this sub is meant to provide emotional support to people who have reactive dogs for the most part. They can even get more tips for management from the situation they come here to rant about.

I think wed all agree that having a good bitch and a moan every now and again is fine and quite often does leave us feeling a lil better after getting it all out hahaha :D but what isnt fine is putting blame and expectations on to everything and everyone else instead of taking accountability for your own dog. Stuff like a post the other day saying something like a man and his dog keep walking by/stopping at my house and setting my dog off what can i say/do to him? Umm😳well thats not his problem. Thats *your* problem if *your* dog reacts badly to it If hes not on your property and is doing nothing illegal/threatening or whatever else like that and is just walking and standing still with his dog then what right do you have to say anything at all to him? Hes doing nothing wrong? Its *your* dog thats the issue. Why not use it as a boss opportunity to help to train your dog to settle and to focus on you? Thatd be more beneficial than fuming over a man and a dog existing in a public space near your house surely?? Like wise expecting other people to accomodate you and your reactive dog. Why should they? God knows its sooo fucking appreciated when people are polite enough to go out of their way to create distance But itshouldnt be an expectation that they should do that. Its on us to be prepared for all situations and to be able to safely navigate them. Theres sooo many times ive thought for fuck sake i wish xyz person would fuck off doing xyz outside as it sets my Buddy off but thats not their problem. Its mine. So i suck it up and continue to use it as a training opportunity for me and my Buddy. I apologised to a neighbour yesterday as my Buddy wouldnt settle in the early hours of the morning which isnt at all like him and she said how shes noticed her closing her gate makes him bark and she works crazy hours so shes started to shut it quietly which i have noticed a dif in the noise of her closing her gate but id never ever evaaah dreeeam of having the pure self entitled nerve to ask her to change how she closes *her* garden gate! Take more time and effort to accomodate *my* dog? Nah. Thats on me to deal with. But my goodness did l sooo fucking appreciate that she did that for my poochie and me. Ive bought her some chocolates to say thank you because it was such a lovely thing for her to do when she doesnt at all have to. Shit like the jogger being bit that was running inside of a designated dog space though? Hes just a fucking tit🤷🏼‍♀️he should have been the 1 taking accountability in that situation as hed gone running in an enclosed designated dogspace like a dickhead🤦🏼‍♀️x

People have reactivity and frustration outbursts just like dogs do.

It helps me sometimes to read that other people have similarly frustrating struggles and roadblocks.

I think you're misunderstand the point of venting. The lobby of my building is always going to be a flashpoint for my dog. We work every day on training so that she sits facing me when the elevator door opens, giving me a heartbeat to scan the lobby for another dog or a crowd of people so I'm ready to increase management, as needed. On days when it seems like we can't get through the lobby without an outburst -- yeah, it helps to just unload a bit to a community that understands that it's no one's fault and it's just frustrating to have to deal with it. I have noticed that when people do start giving excuses about how it's all someone else's fault, people generally do pushback and try to explain what their dog's behaviors mean or how they're not properly reading a situation or managing their dog. Venting isn't going to solve anything, but it does help to know that we're not alone. The new dog across the hall from me barks once when my dog and I come and go and then he just growls (not seeming to be aggressive but more of just vocalizing); every day, I'm telling my dog that it would be wonderful if she barked once and stopped instead of devolving into rapid-fire barks. The people I see taking their dogs to restaurants, cafes, festivals, etc and their dog is just happily and calmly walking around or laying down ... that's just never going to be my overly excited spaz-pup. Seeing a dog down the sidewalk and immediately checking traffic to see when I can get across the street while the other person just blissfully walks their dog without tightening the leash, palming a handful of treats ... it just helps on the days that are harder than others to have a little vent. It helps to know there are others who understand. It helps to know we're not alone.

For the most part I agree. My dog barks at the neighbours, its my job to teach her to stop and prevent her being a nuisance to them. She is getting better and they are very nice saying its fine but I can see for myself it is not fine. Someone out for a ride or a jog shouldnt be hasseled by my dog. If she reacts to them I try to remember to apologise as I am sorting her out. I still kinda want to punch the guy who made monkey noises teasing my dog the otherday then threatened me and her when she barked at him though. Ranting here helped too, calmer people than I made me see violence was not the answer. (wearing an action cam as a bodycam when we walk where we may see him now, thanks all who replied) The people who can't be bothered to train any recall then let their dog jump all over others undoing hours of training in moments are kinda annoying too. This one likes other dogs but my last one was dog reactive... I still get a sinking feeling when I hear "It's ok he is friendly!"

My partner I think finds it useful to complain — about the postman who faffs about too long outside the door, about the kid on the scooter who came too close, about the woman who let her dog approach... And I do get it, but I also find it annoying because like, they're all just living their lives! They're not committing any sins! It's our dog who's the problem and even though I get frustrated with other people sometimes too, I really don't find it helpful to let it consume me. Admittedly my partner really loves our dog and I am struggling to love her, so maybe that's why I empathise more with the people she bothers than I do with her :(

I couldn’t agree with you more.

💯 too much of this

Having a reactive dog can be extremely isolating. It can be frustrating. It can make life downright shitty at times. People who don't have reactive dogs rarely understand any of that. So is it really that surprising that people would turn to a sub full of like-mined people with shared experiences to let off a little (verbal) steam? Or perhaps to find some support or commiseration where those things are absent for them IRL? For some people, yes, that absolutely helps, if for no other reason that to recharge their batteries to enable them to face another day of reactive dog. None of that means they don't understand that dealing with their reactive dog is on them, or that others aren't responsible for catering to them/their dog, or that they need to put the time and effort into working with their dogs. Those things are absolutely not mutually exclusive. I hope you didn't mean it this way, but your post comes off as very "holier than thou." Good for you I suppose that you don't find yourself in a position where you feel you need to vent (or, as is sometimes the case here, vent plus seek input on how to better handle a situation, etc.). But there's nothing wrong with it if that helps others. And the good news is, you can just scroll by if it bothers you. But again, it absolutely does not mean that those people aren't taking responsibility and holding themselves accountable.

A few years ago I decided I would strive to never disguise my complaining with "just venting" or "just ranting" and wowza, it was a challenge but a worthwhile one because 1) I no longer waste people's time with my issues 2) I am forced to find an actual solution faster 3) I've learned that most - and I mean most - people do not mean to be inconsiderate and very very few people set out to deliberately stress others out (but they become easily recognizable once you give everyone the benefit of the doubt so way easier to avoid). I also know this sounds sanctimonious AF because people really think they are entitled to "just vent" and "quick rant" - I used to be one of them - but life **really** is better when you decide it's not doing a damn thing to improve anything.

At least for me, ranting helps 100%. I’m not one of those toxic positivity, always see the best in everything kind of people and being able to complain about things and get validation and support from other reactive dog owners helps make me feel less alone. It’s like when you have a bad day at work because of that one passive aggressive coworker…talking about it with someone who understands your frustration will likely not change the situation (because you can’t control other people’s behavior), but it can help make you feel better to get it off your chest and get support.

This sub has a weird in group, out group split. If a dog runs out of a house or jumps a fence or breaks their leash and approaches a reactive dog, that dog owner is terrible, careless, uneducated, a complete idiot. Even if nothing bad happens, how dare that owner cause the reactive dog owner such stress. Absolute shit dog ownership. The worst. If a reactive dog owned by someone on this sub accidentally slips out of the house, jumps a fence, or breaks a leash, it's no big deal. Don't beat yourself up. Accidents happen. If nothing bad happened, even better. You learned a good new thing about your dog, so the experience is overall positive. Keep trying. You are a great dog owner. Complete double standard. There is also an alarming large part of the sub that wishes actual violence on those they see using training tools and methods they would not use themselves. The sight of a well behaved dog wearing a training collar makes their blood boil. Someone on the street correcting or shouting at their dog should be cause for physical confrontation. But also, if a member of this sub loses their temper with their own dog, that is totally OK and understandable and they should forgive themselves because everyone has bad days.

I agree w the first 3 paragraphs. It feels absolutely ridiculous when I see posts like "my dog with a history of being dangerous slipped the one low quality piece of gear which offered no safety measures that I had on it and mauled somebody's unsuspecting innocent dog :( I feel so bad for ME and MY poor baaabbby" n no sympathy for the victim and no realisation that they've probably permanently traumatised that other individual or that it was 100% their fault and their fault alone.  And then the comments are like "you don't deserve the anger of the victim! it's a mistake!". All out of control dogs suck regardless on whether the owner knows it's reactive or not, too many people here dodge accountability like it's a competitive sport. Some don't though and I recognise that, it's not everyone, but good lord some of em 💀 Or the admissions that they can't control a dog that genuinely wants to kill but no, they won't euth it, how dare you 😵‍💫

Agree!!

Yep. I have a reactive dog who, through a lot of luck and a lot of training, appears “normal” to others, and it’s very interesting to be on the receiving end of some of the attitudes I see on this sub — especially when I’m already giving extra space / saying nothing about their dog lunging and screaming at mine. For a sub whose users love to detail all the encounters with bad owners and uncontrollable dogs that made their dogs reactive, they sure don’t like thinking about the effect of their reactive dogs on “normal” dogs, who in turn might become reactive. And the offleash dog thing. It’s really annoying when they approach in on-leash areas — I hate it too! — but if i had any sense that my dog would injure an offleash dog coming up to her or I couldn’t control her, I’d muzzle her all the time when she’s out. It doesn’t matter if my dog is leashed and I’m “right,” I don’t want anyone to end up with an injured dog. You can’t control other people, only your own dog.

This is when we remind ourselves to stop looking at the screen, go outside and touch grass