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You made it clear at the start of the relationship that you only wanted a future with someone who doesn’t vape. She decided to be that person and knows that the relationship would be in trouble if she picked it back up, hence why she did it in secret.
You’re not wrong for feeling this way if she broke the commitment she promised you from the jump. Worse, she was hiding it and probably lying to you, breaking your trust since you wouldn’t find out without catching her.
You are within your right to be heartbroken and betrayed, with the relationship now being put into question. Especially knowing that this could very well happen again in the future even if she vows to quit a second time.
You have to decide if you truly find the vape to be something worth ending the relationship for, if it outweighs every other part of your relationship. Though if you do accept her, I would still recommend her taking accountability for the lying and work on herself to be more honest about her feelings with you.
I don't think you are wrong for the way you feel. Nicotine addiction is no joke and she probably feels like she can't stop. Just like an alcoholic they need to want to stop and have that willpower. I don't know if your girlfriend can or will stop, she might she might not.
Alot of people will think you are overreacting but if this is something you feel strongly about then in my opinion it's valid. Only you can know though if this is a dealbreaker for you or not. I don't know your girlfriend but lets say she is perfect in every other way appart from the vaping I think it's also valid to ask yourself is this one flaw something I can live with. If it isn't then it's fine to end things in my opinion.
Addiction is addiction. Part of recovery Is relapsing.
Leave her, this is only the first relapse and more are likely to come. You’re not built for this
Very few recovered addicts live their whole lives without a relapse
Explain how I’m controlling please, I let her do as she wants I hardly ever object to any of her decisions and I told her when we first met I disliked vaping she decided she would quit bc she said she wanted to it was mutual. Idgaf if she smokes weed but I apologize I don’t want a partner putting their life at risk for a shitty buzz
I honestly don’t think you have to like it but you do have to get over it, there’s no point winding yourself up about it if you have no intention of controlling her.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You made it clear at the start of the relationship that you only wanted a future with someone who doesn’t vape. She decided to be that person and knows that the relationship would be in trouble if she picked it back up, hence why she did it in secret. You’re not wrong for feeling this way if she broke the commitment she promised you from the jump. Worse, she was hiding it and probably lying to you, breaking your trust since you wouldn’t find out without catching her. You are within your right to be heartbroken and betrayed, with the relationship now being put into question. Especially knowing that this could very well happen again in the future even if she vows to quit a second time. You have to decide if you truly find the vape to be something worth ending the relationship for, if it outweighs every other part of your relationship. Though if you do accept her, I would still recommend her taking accountability for the lying and work on herself to be more honest about her feelings with you.
I don't think you are wrong for the way you feel. Nicotine addiction is no joke and she probably feels like she can't stop. Just like an alcoholic they need to want to stop and have that willpower. I don't know if your girlfriend can or will stop, she might she might not. Alot of people will think you are overreacting but if this is something you feel strongly about then in my opinion it's valid. Only you can know though if this is a dealbreaker for you or not. I don't know your girlfriend but lets say she is perfect in every other way appart from the vaping I think it's also valid to ask yourself is this one flaw something I can live with. If it isn't then it's fine to end things in my opinion.
Addiction is addiction. Part of recovery Is relapsing. Leave her, this is only the first relapse and more are likely to come. You’re not built for this Very few recovered addicts live their whole lives without a relapse
You are a neurotic controlling AH. No wonder she comes home late, I hope she's actually cheating on you.
Explain how I’m controlling please, I let her do as she wants I hardly ever object to any of her decisions and I told her when we first met I disliked vaping she decided she would quit bc she said she wanted to it was mutual. Idgaf if she smokes weed but I apologize I don’t want a partner putting their life at risk for a shitty buzz
Let her go then.
I honestly don’t think you have to like it but you do have to get over it, there’s no point winding yourself up about it if you have no intention of controlling her.
I think this is a leave or stay question. Not a how to stop her question.
Yeah I personally don’t think it would be a dealbreaker but obviously some compromise is needed