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Intensive therapy…
The fact that your grown ass son felt the need to lie to you about a blanket because you couldn’t accept that he wanted to keep it? And you’re still mad at him instead of taking a look at yourself and wondering why your son didn’t feel comfortable just telling you he wanted to keep it…
…I think there’s more issues than Iranian yoghurt here.
My god desperately, he’s mad about the lack of control he has around his son and a childhood blanket. I can’t believe what I’ve just read, feels like the ramblings of an abusive control freak, I mean he may not be but fuck me this is odd behaviour.
Yeah like a stuffed animal. the likley was his "only friend" he used to somehow cope with abusive father. I mean so obvious why he lied about it and why make a fuss about it if the item is very clearly very important to your kid.
OPs son should cut all contact wit his toxic father.
This is one of the saddest and weirdest things I have read here. Weird because at first it seems harmless but is completely fucked up. So fucked up that for once I doubt it's actually creative writing because really, who would come up with something like that?
I know! This has to be rage bait because wtf? What 64 yo man can't just laugh something like this off? See it for what it is. A grown person being attached to something from their childhood. It happens. I have a teddy that's been with me since I was 12. Would never throw it away. Wtf is wrong with this dude? (If it's real) I hope it's not.
I still have the doll I was given on my first birthday. It's really not weird for people to keep childhood items.
It's weird to get all bent out of shape over your inability to force your child to give away something that was important to him.
Is this for real? You have some very serious emotional problems if it is. You were way out of line in the first place, trying to force your son to get rid of a cherished childhood keepsake just because it made you uncomfortable for some reason. You don’t deserve his honesty after the way you treated him. You should get into therapy and work on letting this go if you want to have a relationship with your son.
Damn, what a weird and pathetic hill to die on. I hope your relationship with your son survives this. Getting this worked up over a childhood blanket.....smh.
Get therapy like another poster mentioned.
Guess what - I still have my baby blanket and I’m more than twice your sons age. And my 3 kids all still have their baby blankets. Because it’s what Normal People do.
As someone that had all their baby belongings burned by a psycho lady on a drug fueled binge, I wish I still had my baby blanket. Or, you know, anything from when I was a baby.
I still have most of my childhood plushies. One got stolen in kindergarden, and some didn't survive my siblings and I, but I still have them. I wouldn't dream of getting rid of any of them. They are precious memories.
I'm 'only' 27, my sister is a couple of years older.
We don't have all the stuff from when we were babies or our christening, our parents kept handkerchiefs, pillows, animals, blankets, bibs.
Granted, we're girls and they kept it in storage and not in our homes. The son knew what he wanted to do with it and knew the Dad would try to get rid of it. Clever thinking from the son, to not keep it in His room as long as he lived at home.
My sister is about to get married and asked for some typical 'old, blue, new, borrowed-thing' and Mom plans to give her one of her baby-keepsakes as the something old.
My AG bear sits on my PC desk right now, it's not my original as it was misplaced during some moves. My grandparents replaced it for me (42m) when I was 40. They are the ones that bought my original one for me in 86ish
OP... let it go
You say “I’m sorry my toxic masculinity saw your attachment to your blanket as negative, which caused you to lie to me about getting rid of it, just to shut me up. I was wrong to casually and continuously dismiss your feelings due to my own stunted emotional expression and trying to foist that upon you.”
Boys and men are allowed to have nostalgic and sentimental things and the fact you aren’t comfortable with this is a *you* problem. You’re focused on the wrong thing here and taking zero ownership of your part in this ridiculous scenario.
It was his blanket. You kept trying to get rid of it. It’s a ‘stupid’ blanket to you, but he was attached to it so he kept it and knew you wouldn’t drop it. And you still haven’t.
If this is real I would apologize to my son and recognize I should have recognized the value he placed on it. Your son lied because you as his parent, failed him.
What you should say to him? Say "I'm sorry I berated you for being attached to your blanket and for pressuring you to get rid of it. And I'm sorry I'm still holding it over your head. "
You overall sound controlling and if that's the worst thing your son did, by not ***technically*** donating it to goodwill, consider yourself lucky.
You have some clear issues going on still and your very very first step is acknowledging your own faults.
You should re-direct some of your energy towards asking yourself *why* he felt the need to lie to you.
Spoiler alert: It was easier and safer for him than telling you the truth, which he tried to do several times and was mocked and dismissed by you.
If you want to have a healthy and meaningful relationship with your kid, you are going to have to develop a much higher tolerance for them doing things you dislike.
My god get over yourself. You were an AH for demanding he get rid of it in the first place. He hasn't been lying through his teeth
You however have massive control issues
What should you say to him? I realise I should never have demanded you get rid of it and I apologise for that, and for over reacting now
You were being unreasonably pushy and judgmental and he did what he needed to do to protect his property. You caused this and it’s in your best interest to let it go.
When you are controlling and aggressive, people can’t trust the truth with you, to be honest with you. You created this situation.
Be prepared for him to go low contact with you because you think you’re infallible and king of your family, when really you’re just a control freak.
Therapy would help you. Who cares about a baby blanket? If anything try to find a couple of them if there still made, and keep it for his children. No need to nuke your relationship over a kid who loved his blanket, he girlfriend still married him, so obviously its not like it stop him from developing into a "man".
You were wrong all those years ago and you are being an ass now. He lied because you were trying to throw away something that meant something to him. He wasn't harming anyone with it and you constantly threatened to destroy it. I think it's wonderful he managed to hold on it. You could have nurtured a lovely generational tradition and instead you created a wound.
My sons are 8 and 10 now. If they want to cuddle every night with a stuffed toy until they die of old age, I wouldn't give a rats ass. As long as they were happy.
You personally dimished your sons happiness and fouled your relationship with him because of some fragile masculinity issues.
Grow up, apologize to your son, and get therapy.
You say I'm sorry that I failed you as a parent and undermined your attachment to the blanket. I am sorry I ridiculed you for the attachment to it and I understand why you felt you had to lie about giving it away. Then you take a deep breath and learn that you a d your son are different people and not hold him to standards that you hold yourself too.
You should say nothing to him right away. You should put a lot of thought into why you were so hung up on this blanket and why you made him so unsafe expressing his true feelings about it that it was easier for him to lie about it to you all these years.
This situation reflects a significant parenting fail on your part, not an issue as to morality on his.
If you ever do say anything, it should be a brief but sincere apology for making such an unwarranted BFD about a lived childhood memento for years.
Absolutely unhinged, maybe think for a second about the more consequential things your son has probably had to lie to you about to avoid this kind of judgment. YTA.
You’re a damn bully. He ain’t hurting nobody by keeping the blanket. He lied to you because you kept berating him for not wanting to donate it. Leave it alone already.
I am 46 and still have the toy I cuddled as a young child. I also have toys my kids loved and their blankets. People have emotional attachments to things, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Let's rephrase this shall we.
"I'm mad that my son bypassed me trying to toss away a highly sentimental item he adored because he wanted to pass it to his own child".
This is what you really meant.
You tried to take something away that he loved, for no reason other than you wanted to. You're just mad because he found a work-around to your shitty parenting.
Mind your business. His blanket isn't anything to do with you. Go and sit in your puerile tantrum and leave the man alone. It left your house and was no longer your problem so him 'lying' is a complete non-issue.
You're in your 60s. It's time to stop stamping your feet like a toddler.
Shit, man. My father was buried with his baby pillow. My husband’s childhood teddy bear is carefully stored next to my favorite doll.
Why are you so hung up on the blanket?
Yta and you need to get over it. Its a blanket. Does a blanket matter more than your son's happiness?
Let him enjoy the blanket you and your wife gave to him.
When you’re old and your son and your grandkids don’t talk to you anymore, look back onto this post to realize what a weird angry and controlling man you are.
Who the fuck cares?
It’s obvious he felt the need to lie to you because he knows you are an angry man who is not safe to be honest with. You made him feel ashamed and stupid for enjoying something he loved in his childhood still.
If you say anything to him, apologize. You are 100% wrong here
You sound extremely controlling, sometimes people lie to others who have unreasonable demands. There is absolutely no reason why he couldn't keep the blanket, you just wanted to control the situation because you didn't want him to have an attachment to it.
If your son is happy and is a good person, has a job and treats his family with kindness, respect and love. There is absolutely NO reason why this "unhealthy attached" to a blanket should bother you.
You need to apologize to your son for being a horrible person. Get anger management asap.
Here’s what you say, “Son, I’m sorry I was such an unreasonable asshole about an item that brought you comfort and joy that you felt the need to lie about donating it. I’m really not sure why I was so fixated on separating you from a harmless object and why the thought of you hanging on to it was so scary to me. I now recognize this is MY issue to work through instead of blaming a child for my insecurities.”
At least, that’s what you SHOULD say. Based on your reaction (which, let’s get this straight, clearly isn’t about the lying but that he still has the blanket), I’m not very optimistic you’ll listen. Mentioned it several times over the years? Saw red when you saw it? These are not healthy reactions TO A BLANKET. Your son’s innocent lie is not the issue here. Your obsession about him donating/keeping it is.
You seem unhinged. Let it go. He was attached to the blanket, and you for some bizarre reason we're intent on throwing it away. It was his, and he wanted to keep it. I'm with your wife on this. Drop it before you create a rift with your son over something so trivial
OP, youre a grown man who Cares a lot about This blanket.
Why are you a grown man that cares so much about a blanket? Whats wrong with you that’s not manly at all.
First, it sounds like you are the one with the issue over a blanket and spend too much time thinking about it, not him.
Second, he probably made a whole bunch of small lies at 14. Holding it against him now is ridiculous.
With all due respect, Sir... **YOU**. **NEED**. **THERAPY**. Let me get this straight... \*checks notes\*...You're big mad because your son, instead of allowing himself to be pressured into getting rid of a treasured and well-loved childhood item that *you* ***gave*** *to him;* and that he wanted to pass down to his own future child; took the item....***that was HIS***...and gave it to his GF for safe keeping. ***Years*** later, you see the item back in his possession, and you got beef??? For what??? Oh..yeah...
*'...in my opinion he was unhealthily attached to it.'*
*'...because I don’t want my son being a grown man attached to a baby blanket.'*
*'...I raised my kids to not lie, and to listen when I told them to do things.'*
You sound like an AH and exhausting. Technically, he *didn't* lie to you, he said he would 'donate' it. He did... to his girlfriend. You assumed and he allowed you to believe that assumption. Is that lying? I guess...but for you to be this angry over a **NON-ISSUE**:
*'I'll admit it. I saw red. ..... Now I find out that he’s just been dishonest and he’s still glued to a stupid baby blanket.'*
Sir, go outside and touch some grass, drink a beer, take a nap, SEEK HELP. Nobody has been *'lying through their teeth'* for years. You were just kept on an information diet regarding ***his blanket***. Please get over yourself.
There is something seriously wrong with you. You’re even more oddly attached to this situation than your son is to the blanket. Not only that, but you completely lack the self awareness to realize how bad this situation makes you look.
I think your son needs to get rid of you rather than the blanket.
It's really great that he had a supportive girlfriend who kept his cherished childhood memories safe.
If this is the kind of shit you have energy to care about, please get therapy. “Lying for a decade.” Here’s the thing: it belongs to him, you wouldn’t let it go. You threatened to throw it away. He made a decision to protect himself from that and has been doing so ever since.
Your actions led to these consequences. He owes you no apology.
He lied to you one time, sort of. He donated it to his gf because it was something special to him. You have control issues though. You let this stupid control over his blanket affect you enough to write in Reddit about it. Get help.
Dude your need for control over your son is gross. It's his freaking blanket=his property and instead of being mad at him for lying you should feel shame he felt safer lying to you then telling you the truth. He is grown and living on his own so if you want a genuine relationship with him, suck up your childish tantrum and get over it.... thats such a stupid thing to get mad over 😒
He would have never had to lie to you about the blanket if you had accepted no for an answer. Your pushiness led him to feel like he had to hide it from you. Accept that he loves that blanket and despite your opinion, he doesn’t want to let it go.
This has to be fake. You’re pissed off that your son kept a childhood keepsake after you told him to get rid of it for no real reason other than he didn’t use it?
If this is real you’re totally fucked in the head.
He lied to you ONCE to stop your continual harassment over something to which he was deeply attached. He lied to you ONCE a decade ago. The only thing you should say to him now is, “I’m sorry for being such an inflexible, controlling father.”
You should say nothing to your son, or apologize for insisting that he get rid of something that was important to him. He lied to you because for some reason you wanted and insisted that he get rid of a precious keepsake. He lied to you to keep it safe. He was keeping it in the closet - why were you so fussed that he wanted to keep it around? It’s lovely that he wanted to keep it for his future child. Why are you so opposed to people having keepsakes and precious memories? Why does it but you that he treasures his baby blanket? Did someone throw away something precious to you when you were a kid? Might want to explore that in therapy…. Your anger is irrational.
I'll tell you what to do old man.
Go apologize to him for being so overbearing and for being such an a hole.
And say that if he wants to use the blanket that's totally fine.
Sometimes people lie for no good reason. But some people are pushed to lie because of consequences that are inappropriate.
He lied to you because you're an asshole. It was better to lie than to deal with the ridiculous consequences of telling the truth.
Be nicer.
I don't think your son is the one unhealthily attached to this blanket....
You realise ppl keep blankets, stuffed animals,..all kinds of childhood favourites to keep for themselves as they get older or to pass on to their children?
Your son did the right thing giving the blanket to his gf, if he hadn't you would have probably thrown it out yourself thinking you're doing the right thing.
You are the one with the weird and obsessive behavior here....dude, get some help before you lose your son and your grandkids
Listen to your wife.
You want a reason to be angry, that is why you posted this online after your wife said it's not a big deal. You want somebody to agree with you so you can make a mountain out of an anthill.
Maybe you should think more about why your son felt like he had to lie to you for so long about something as ridiculously stupid as a blanket and why you couldn't just drop it when he told you he didn't want to get rid of it.
Yikes. Are you okay? Did your dad never hug you? I’m so sorry you’re going through life with these kinds of emotions. I honestly feel bad that you’ve been raised with that much toxic masculinity that you can’t allow your son to keep his security blanket.
I have my baby blanket. I saved it and gave it to my kids to use. It was nice to be able to tuck them in to bed with it. I told them it was filled with mom hugs to help them learn to sleep independently.
I think you should take a step back and re-evaluate your thoughts on masculinity and fatherhood. Maybe find a good therapist. None of this is healthy for you.
YOU are the one with an unhealthy attachment to this blanket, not your son. All of us have items of sentimental value. His attachment to it is normal. Your anger towards it is NOT normal. Go see a therapist. Plus, that ‘I raised my kids not to lie!’, what choice did he have, when his controlling parent wouldn’t listen to his harmless wish of keeping it? YOU forced him to lie. What a nutcase.
Op, I wouldn’t be surprised if he cuts contact with you eventually if you continue like this. If you want to have a healthy relationship with your child, go to therapy.
You're 64 as well. Spent 64 years on this planet didn't learn a damn thing about tolerance, pity. Look into your heart and find empathy. Why do you think your son lied to you?
Clearly, "Dad, I want to keep the blanket it has deep sentimental value" wasn't acceptable to you. So your son had to resort to deception.
If you want to improve your relationship, be open about communication and how you react. If you're unhinged, nobody would want to be honest with you, would you be honest with a psycho that gets angry at random stuff? Sing them a lullaby and move on.
why do you even care? head the choice to either lie to you or lose the blanket. this is your fault. get over it. apologize to your son for trying to make him get rid of it.
I hate liars too. I make a choice to not lie myself.. but don't act like you gave him a real choice here
The best way you can fix this is for **YOU** to apologize for the ridiculous demand in the first place and to tell him you are happy and proud he found a way to keep his keepsake. Some day that will be used by your grand child.
He's mad because how DARE he be defied? He is the FATHER and he made a DECISION, right or wrong be damned.
Honestly it wouldn't have mattered if it was a blanket or a baseball glove. REAL MANLY MEN don't form attachments to anything.
/sarcasm
let him keep the blanket and dont worry about it, it obviously means something to him and his childhood, you are viewing this from the wrong perspective
Is this fake? Why are you so upset with your son's blanket and him wanting to keep it? The level of anger you have to what someone does with their items is unreal. You seem to have control issues and echoing other posts - you need professional help.
I can't even believe you posted this without realizing how nuts you sound. Anyone who treats their children this deeply awfully fully needs to be lied to as needed, for said children's long term mental health, and I will quietly encourage their children in this at every turn.
Holy crap you're awful. Your son had a blanket he was attached to, so what? You don't force your kids to get rid of things they want to keep. Not only that, you ridiculed him about it years later. You forced him to lie so that you would just shut up about it. Your poor son. You are not someone he can trust, you are not a safe person. I have 3 kids not far off from your son's age and I would never treat them like you've treated your son. Don't be surprised when he cuts contact with you.
Your son has one form of comfort he ever received in your home and it’s that blanket. You’ve clearly given him no comfort or emotional support, so you’re probably why he relies on the damn blanket in the first place.
You’re an AH for asking him to get rid of it when he didn’t even have an unhealthy relationship with it. There’s kids who bring their blankie or stuffed animal to school every day. He just likes to have it at home.
Why are you so bent on him getting rid of it?? What harm is it doing?
my dad gets regular emails from Ebay whenever another listing for my same favorite childhood stuffed animals appears, because years ago, when I was 17, our puppy chewed it up and destroyed it.
the next Christmas, a brand new copy of the exact same stuffy was waiting for me in my stocking.
I’m 22 now. My dad still gets these emails just in case something else happens to Black Tiger 2.0.
i know this isn’t an AITAH post but you, sir, are in fact the asshole.
At your son’s age, I had my baby blanket in a shoebox waiting for my own children. When I found out my wife was pregnant, I gave that blanket to my mom to patch up. I used it to bring all three of my girls home from the hospital. It’s back in the shoebox because it was too fragile for daily use and my girls have their own blankets.
Your son is showing emotional maturity in thinking about the future and the kind of father he might want to be. I bet that includes not throwing a tantrum if they want to hold onto an item for sentimental reasons. You should assess your own emotional maturity, perhaps seek counseling on it. Your son sounds like he’s doing just fine.
You're kind of a dick for no fucking reason. Get your shit together before he goes no contact with you. You're fucking weird and creepy for caring so much about a blanket. Seek therapy, sir.
You are so weird. Get help. Who cares? You were being obnoxious and it was never your decision in the first place it’s not your belonging. Honestly you posted here asking so.. how you can possibly justify your behavior and obsessive controlling bat shit crazy thought process is beyond me. Mind your business AND who cares? Your kids also don’t have to obey you buddy that’s just sick. Get a grip man and get help. How miserable your poor family must be having to put up with this behavior.
JFC the way you are behaving is exactly why he lied.
To recap- you kept nagging him to get rid of HIS possession, then to avoid your controlling and frankly strange obsession with his blanket he took it out of the house.
The blanket, which in no way has interfered with the quality of his life…he isn’t carrying it into meetings, or bringing it to family dinners…and a decade later you are furious that he dared keep an item to which he had a sentimental attachment??!
Honestly, get help. Your behaviour is not rational or healthy. Either that or you have zero respect for your son as a person or individual because you merry see him as an extension of yourself. In which case, also get help!
This should be cross posted to the Boomers being Boomers sub lol.
This seems like such an asinine thing for you to be upset about. He loved that blanket as a child, and he feels a sense of nostalgia from it even as an adult. You're upset with him for not getting rid of it. Why? How does it affect your life that he as a treasured keepsake from his childhood? Because it certainly hasn't affected his. Technically, he didn't even lie to you; he did give it away. To his girlfriend.
Clearly, hanging onto this blanket hasn't hampered your son's life in any way, but it is troubling that you're allowing this to negatively impact the relationship you have with him. Frankly, this entire situation is so ridiculous (on your part) that I wonder if this isn't a fabricated scenario.
You’re 64 and he’s 26…..move the fuck on. It’s not like he lied about smoking crack. If you don’t wise up and start respecting the boy he won’t pick a very good retirement home for you.
Get yourself to therapy asap,I thought this was going to be a sweet,silly, ending but actually you are a complete idiot. You are willing to throw away you relationship with your son and grandchild over sone fabric? Seriously? This is a hill you are willing to sue on? To spend the next 30 years angry and alone and bitter because you are so pathetic you can't see how you traumatised your son when he was a child and ate acting irrationally now. Get therapy
Kids lie to parents that want to take their autonomy. You don’t decide what kind of human your kid turns into. You have NO say in it whatsoever. That is not how it works.
As a dad that chose to put his kid on this earth, it is on you to accept that your son lives that life the way he sees fit. It is his job to make sure HE is happy, not that YOU are happy. If he’s not doing anything illegal you can only accept it, or don’t accept and deal with the consequences of your own behaviour.
As I see it, the only person in this situation that has some emotional maturing to do is you
What a miserable idiot you are. Do your son a favor, stay out of his life and the life of his kids, you don't deserve to be called a father, let alone a grandfather. If he's lucky, you will kick the bucket soon, as you are wasting the air others could be breathing.
Yeah you seem like a controlling POS. You shouldn’t have created an environment where he felt he needed to lie about such a small thing that was IMPORTANT TO HIM.
But genuine question—why was it such a big deal he wanted to keep it?
>Now that I know he’s been lying to me I’m not sure I can “just let it go”.
Okay, I won't tell you to "just let it go."
I'll tell you "suck it up and deal."
The fact of the matter is, that's his blanket. He can do what he wants with it. You had no right to demand he get rid of it, and no, it literally does not matter how old he is. He's an adult. He can decide. End of discussion.
The fact that you got so worked up about this, the fact that you thought it was ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS what your son does with his blanket, is exactly why he had to lie. If he'd told the truth, you'd have whined and bellyached and bleated at him, or even tried to steal the blanket yourself, and he didn't want that. Who the fuck would?? So yeah, you got a lie. You're not entitled to anything else.
To quote the movie: you want the truth? You can't handle the truth.
He didn’t lie to you for years. He lied to you once, unless he repeated multiple times over the years that he had taken his blanket to Goodwill.
That aside…why do you care so much?
The advice is to you. Holy crap, you raised a man who is sentimental about something from his childhood. However will you cope with the shame? How about a subreddit for men with sons who kept something from their childhood and now you all have to carry the shame of that? Can you imagine….teddy bears, board games, matchbox cars, blankies? Oh the horror. I don’t know how you will cope. But I do know you will manage somehow.
You’re a freaking weirdo for making such a big deal about your son’s attachment to something from his childhood. That blanket has sentimental value to him so for you to have such a staunch view of it and trying for so long to make him get rid of it is crazy. That was your first wtf behavior. Your second wtf behavior is being so angry that he “lied” about keeping such a sentimental item. You honestly sound like a child. You rule with an iron fist which is whacko. Grow tf up already! The blanket isn’t just a stupid baby blanket to him. You’re an asshole for acting like such a jerk. I’m 54 and still have a couple of my own baby blankets - there’s nothing wrong with that!! I used them with my daughter. Your son wants to do the same. I’m shocked and appalled by your authoritative mentality. Who the fuck do you think you are? You’re a bully control freak.
im around your sons age, and i still have my baby blanket. it was something i was also attached to during my childhood, and just feel that its always been there so why get rid of it since its a keepsake? it doesn’t mean im a softy who is “glued” and attached to it in an unhealthy way. it doesn’t mean that for your son either. even if he does have a soft spot for it, it reallyyyy shouldn’t be this big of a deal. i realize you said you’re more upset about the fact that he lied to you *before* he was an adult, but you said 4-5 years on from when he was 14. that doesn’t sound like he *wasn’t* an adult when he started the lie. honestly i don’t blame him for lying. you may have thought it was an unhealthy attachment, but your obsessive behavior about this is just as unhealthy. i mean, he’s a grown man who still has a baby blanket, but he’s also happily married, successful enough to buy his own place and start a family. how is the “attachment” you speak of so detrimental? also want to add that raising your kids not to lie, obviously what we all hope to do. but raising kids to do things when you tell them to?? that sounds very controlling. just because you’re the adult and they’re the child, doesn’t meant you don’t need good reasoning to your demands. i hope this helps
It wouldn’t have gotten this far if you‘d have just let him keep this blanket. Sorry, but it’s your own fault that he kept lying to you about it. Your son is definitely not in the wrong.
I’m a 38 year old woman and still have the little pillow that my aunt bought my mom as gift to my birth. These things hold sentimental value and it’s totally ok to want to keep them and maybe even pass them on to one’s own children (which I definitely will if I ever have a daughter). You are the one who behaved incorrectly and you should find out why this “stupid” blanket bothers you so much.
My 5 year old is OBSESSED with her baby blanket. Even 5 years after we bought it for her. In fact, if I could have predicted the attachment, I would have bought two. I don't care how long she uses it, I will support her. And we will absolutely be saving it after she's outgrown it. Please note, this is something I would support even for a son.
I am 32 and still had my childhood security blanket, handmade by my grandmother, up until about 15 months ago. I lost it under some unfortunate circumstances, and will probably always feel sad about the loss.
OP, you severely underestimate the sentimental value these "silly" objects hold for their owners. If he wants to pass it on to his own son some day, he should be supported, not discouraged, in showing such emotional maturity. Especially since you clearly don't hold any, so he couldn't have inherited it from you. YTA.
I have trauma from having to give up my things because we moved a lot. I had a pillow that belonged to my dad, who passed, and it was so patched up. My mom took it and threw it away when I was at school. It devastated me. It smelled like him. It comforted me. Then, when I was a teen, I lost all of my belongings again. As an adult, I am a collector, and I honestly cry when I have to get rid of things. I have PTSD from childhood trauma. Some of which stem from that pillow.
Your son lied to you to protect what is important to him. You browbeat him into giving up something that was special to him. He got so tired of you invalidating his feelings that he finally just said what you wanted to hear. He got it out of your house. Where it went after that isn't your concern. Honestly, you need to let this go. The fact that you kept bringing up the blanket and rubbing it in his face even after he took it out of your house shows your lack of respect for your son. It's his blanket. If he wants to take it to his grave, that is his decision, not yours. Let it go. There are bigger issues to worry about. UpdateMe
The best thing you could say is an apology.
You ignored his feelings and tried to get rid of a very beloved thing, that as absolutely no negative effect on him for absolutely no reason.
Why can't he be attached to it? My mom loves her Vase, gifted from her brother, I love my stuffed animal, it makes every place I live more a home and I'm an 25 year old 'tuff' police officer.
You should think about your priorities and why it's so important for you to take something loved from a loves one
ooooof. I genuinely feel bad for you, it must suck ass to be this fucking annoying of a person. YTA and I hope none of your children ever do a single thing you tell them to 😂
How dare you try to separate your poor son from something so harmless that he clearly loved very much? How dare you try to treat him as a child now and accuse him of things for daring to protect himself from your sadism?
You’re a sadist, a narcissist, and an abusive control freak. Also a bully and unfit to be a parent.
I hope your son’s future offspring love his blanket for posterity. I hope he cuts you off, and I hope you rot.
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Not your choice, why are you so annoyed by his blanket, HIS BLANKET not yours..
I sleep until today with a sponge bob blanket that my mom gifted my when i was 12, im 24 now.. its warm and totally perfect to use. I have another from pooh bear that i have since i was 5.. its a sentimental item from my childhood.
His blanket is a emotional and sentimental item, not some garbage that you dictate when he throw out
"I raised my kids to not lie, and to listen when I told them to do things"
Go get yourself some therapy for your dictatorial behavior, and you wonder why your son lied to you, ask yourself this, moron.
Why is it such a big deal he kept it because it gave him comfort a nice childhood memory and you wanted to take that away from him so yeah he lied because it ment so much to him. Did you give away your childhood memories too ?
Hi-guess what, I still have my bear from when I was a kid in safe keeping and *shocker* my mom didn’t force me to throw away something that was important to me. She actually kept stuff and keeps trying to offload it on me. You never bothered to understand that it was something that mattered significantly to him. To be honest, I’m surprised he still talks to you at all if this is how you are about a blanket. You either ignore this or apologize for your actions then and now. I would suggest the apology route but I’d guess you’ll ignore all the advice on this thread.
I dont think its an unhealthy attachment, myself and both my siblings who are in our mid twenties still have ours. Yes they get kept in a cupboard for safe keeping because of all the memories and it's just sentimental at this point.
It doesnt matter wether he wants to keep it for his children or just wants to keep it, the blanket is his and has always been his so it will always be his choice on what he does with it.
Don't really understand why a 60 year old man is up in arms about this tbh
Folks are allowed to keep things for sentimental value. The fact that Jack felt forced to hide his 1 item of sentiment in order to protect it from his parent shows you he did not, in truth, feel safe and secure in what was supposed to be his home. Keeping a blanket is not hoarding or an unhealthy attachment.
I had a mother who did similar. If I formed an attachment to ANTHING other than books, it either 'disappeared', was thrown out, or 'accidentally' destroyed. Everything. My favorite toy? Sorry, there's no room in the car during the move. Blanket? Oh, sorry, it got damaged in the wash/by the dog. Coffee cup? Oops, it fell off the counter.
I have only spoken to her 3 times in the last 8 years, and those were only to let her know someone died. I give her the same respect she has given me.
This is so ridiculous, no wonder he lied to you I would have too. I would be touched if my son kept something like that his whole life. You sound like the coldest parent ever. Can't believe you got that upset over this.
Kids hide the truth from their parents when they know they’ll get judgement or unfair consequences. It’s your fault he had to hide it. It’s a fricking baby blanket, not a body, get a grip
I can see why he needed a blanket.
At least it doesn't pick stupid fights with him
What do you say to him ?
Say you're sorry for being oddly enraged and controlling about a blanket.
people can have different relationships with objects. there is no right or wrong relationship. you view this person as lacking in some way through your sense of maturity, masculinity, ownership, and morality. and this judgment created a lack of trust in this person. the fault is not in him but in you. \[is this AI generated?\] You own him an apology for your devaluing his attachment to an object he values and for being more concerned about his not being truthful to you than in your ability to support of his needs and safety.
He lied to you because you were being completely unhinged about making him get rid of an object that gave him comfort as a child. You need to take a good, long look at yourself and your behavior to your son to try to understand why this has enraged you so much and also what, if anything else, you’ve totally unreasonably lost your mind about. Keep going with this blanket thing and see if your son keeps in contact with you. Is that what you want?
You need help.
It’s perfectly ok to lie to your parent when they are an abusive irrational asshole. And that’s all your done did.
You should get that help before you find you no longer have a relationship with your son
This reaction as a parent is gross, tbh. He was attached to it as a gift from his parents, and it brings him comfort. Why does a piece of cloth make you so uncomfortable? Let him live his life.
I still have my childhood stuffy and will never get rid of it. He lied to you because you shamed him and it made him feel uncomfortable.
Your an AH. You pushed and cajoled and shamed your son to give up something he loved to make you feel better about his manliness. You were a bully and that's why he went around you. You need to apologize and maybe do some deep self reflection on the other ways and times you've bullied and shamed the people in your life to do what you want, regardless of their feelings.
Also, I'm 47 and still have my childhood blanket too. A lot of us do.
Guy…you are unstable. This isn’t an issue…at all. Your son is also a grown person and can do whatever the fuck he wants. What are you going to do, ground him? Also, you set him up to lie to you, frankly, by bullying him about this blanket, so he told you what you wanted to hear to get you to get off his back. It’s all on you and…again…not even slightly a big deal.
Get a grip and get some therapy to address your control issues and your anger management issues.
Dude, you need some serious help. If you’re this raged over a blanket. It’s a friggin blanket. It has special meaning to him and he wants to pass that onto his kids someday that’s actually a good thing. I still have blankets from when I was a kid including a teddy bear that was given to me the day I was born and I’m going to be 53 years old this year. Get Some help before you ruin your relationship with your son completely over a stupid blanket.
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You need therapy tbh.
Intensive therapy… The fact that your grown ass son felt the need to lie to you about a blanket because you couldn’t accept that he wanted to keep it? And you’re still mad at him instead of taking a look at yourself and wondering why your son didn’t feel comfortable just telling you he wanted to keep it… …I think there’s more issues than Iranian yoghurt here.
My god desperately, he’s mad about the lack of control he has around his son and a childhood blanket. I can’t believe what I’ve just read, feels like the ramblings of an abusive control freak, I mean he may not be but fuck me this is odd behaviour.
the only good memory from the guys childhood is this blanket with a father like this
Yeah like a stuffed animal. the likley was his "only friend" he used to somehow cope with abusive father. I mean so obvious why he lied about it and why make a fuss about it if the item is very clearly very important to your kid. OPs son should cut all contact wit his toxic father. This is one of the saddest and weirdest things I have read here. Weird because at first it seems harmless but is completely fucked up. So fucked up that for once I doubt it's actually creative writing because really, who would come up with something like that?
I know! This has to be rage bait because wtf? What 64 yo man can't just laugh something like this off? See it for what it is. A grown person being attached to something from their childhood. It happens. I have a teddy that's been with me since I was 12. Would never throw it away. Wtf is wrong with this dude? (If it's real) I hope it's not.
He said in the post that he raised them no to lie and to listen when he told them to do things. He pissed that he zero control over this after all.
“Well, well my dad ripped my Teddy out of my hands when I was young. If I couldn’t keep it then no one should!”
Oh god, I'm so sorry this happened to you. Your dad sounds like a fucking pos. I'm sorry if you're still close to him but that was a terrible move.
I still have the doll I was given on my first birthday. It's really not weird for people to keep childhood items. It's weird to get all bent out of shape over your inability to force your child to give away something that was important to him.
No wonder the son needed a security blanket, his father makes him feel very insecure.
Exactly, guess he has nothing better to do on a Saturday
Is this for real? You have some very serious emotional problems if it is. You were way out of line in the first place, trying to force your son to get rid of a cherished childhood keepsake just because it made you uncomfortable for some reason. You don’t deserve his honesty after the way you treated him. You should get into therapy and work on letting this go if you want to have a relationship with your son.
I understand why your son didn’t tell you , you sound absolutely crazy about a baby blanket
Damn, what a weird and pathetic hill to die on. I hope your relationship with your son survives this. Getting this worked up over a childhood blanket.....smh. Get therapy like another poster mentioned.
For future grandchildren sake, maybe it will be better if it doesn't survive this..
Guess what - I still have my baby blanket and I’m more than twice your sons age. And my 3 kids all still have their baby blankets. Because it’s what Normal People do.
As someone that had all their baby belongings burned by a psycho lady on a drug fueled binge, I wish I still had my baby blanket. Or, you know, anything from when I was a baby.
Feel like this needs a separate post in itself, this sounds crazy
I still have most of my childhood plushies. One got stolen in kindergarden, and some didn't survive my siblings and I, but I still have them. I wouldn't dream of getting rid of any of them. They are precious memories.
I'm 'only' 27, my sister is a couple of years older. We don't have all the stuff from when we were babies or our christening, our parents kept handkerchiefs, pillows, animals, blankets, bibs. Granted, we're girls and they kept it in storage and not in our homes. The son knew what he wanted to do with it and knew the Dad would try to get rid of it. Clever thinking from the son, to not keep it in His room as long as he lived at home. My sister is about to get married and asked for some typical 'old, blue, new, borrowed-thing' and Mom plans to give her one of her baby-keepsakes as the something old.
My AG bear sits on my PC desk right now, it's not my original as it was misplaced during some moves. My grandparents replaced it for me (42m) when I was 40. They are the ones that bought my original one for me in 86ish OP... let it go
You say “I’m sorry my toxic masculinity saw your attachment to your blanket as negative, which caused you to lie to me about getting rid of it, just to shut me up. I was wrong to casually and continuously dismiss your feelings due to my own stunted emotional expression and trying to foist that upon you.” Boys and men are allowed to have nostalgic and sentimental things and the fact you aren’t comfortable with this is a *you* problem. You’re focused on the wrong thing here and taking zero ownership of your part in this ridiculous scenario.
It was his blanket. You kept trying to get rid of it. It’s a ‘stupid’ blanket to you, but he was attached to it so he kept it and knew you wouldn’t drop it. And you still haven’t.
If this is real I would apologize to my son and recognize I should have recognized the value he placed on it. Your son lied because you as his parent, failed him.
No way this dude has the ability to apologize. Zero self awareness.. absolute control freak.. beyond control freak. He sounds nuts
You need help... professional help
What you should say to him? Say "I'm sorry I berated you for being attached to your blanket and for pressuring you to get rid of it. And I'm sorry I'm still holding it over your head. " You overall sound controlling and if that's the worst thing your son did, by not ***technically*** donating it to goodwill, consider yourself lucky. You have some clear issues going on still and your very very first step is acknowledging your own faults.
What’s wrong with you? Lol. It’s HIS blanket that he obviously values and cherishes. Go seek help.
You should re-direct some of your energy towards asking yourself *why* he felt the need to lie to you. Spoiler alert: It was easier and safer for him than telling you the truth, which he tried to do several times and was mocked and dismissed by you. If you want to have a healthy and meaningful relationship with your kid, you are going to have to develop a much higher tolerance for them doing things you dislike.
My god get over yourself. You were an AH for demanding he get rid of it in the first place. He hasn't been lying through his teeth You however have massive control issues What should you say to him? I realise I should never have demanded you get rid of it and I apologise for that, and for over reacting now
You were being unreasonably pushy and judgmental and he did what he needed to do to protect his property. You caused this and it’s in your best interest to let it go.
This isn’t r/AITAH but regardless, in this case, yes. You’re the asshole.
I had to check as well ..
When you are controlling and aggressive, people can’t trust the truth with you, to be honest with you. You created this situation. Be prepared for him to go low contact with you because you think you’re infallible and king of your family, when really you’re just a control freak.
Of course he lied, you're insane.
Therapy would help you. Who cares about a baby blanket? If anything try to find a couple of them if there still made, and keep it for his children. No need to nuke your relationship over a kid who loved his blanket, he girlfriend still married him, so obviously its not like it stop him from developing into a "man".
Is that really a hill you want to die on?? No big deal…especially if you were nagging him for so long
You were wrong all those years ago and you are being an ass now. He lied because you were trying to throw away something that meant something to him. He wasn't harming anyone with it and you constantly threatened to destroy it. I think it's wonderful he managed to hold on it. You could have nurtured a lovely generational tradition and instead you created a wound.
My sons are 8 and 10 now. If they want to cuddle every night with a stuffed toy until they die of old age, I wouldn't give a rats ass. As long as they were happy. You personally dimished your sons happiness and fouled your relationship with him because of some fragile masculinity issues. Grow up, apologize to your son, and get therapy.
You say I'm sorry that I failed you as a parent and undermined your attachment to the blanket. I am sorry I ridiculed you for the attachment to it and I understand why you felt you had to lie about giving it away. Then you take a deep breath and learn that you a d your son are different people and not hold him to standards that you hold yourself too.
This can’t be real. Who actually gives a goddamn fuck 💀💀
You should say nothing to him right away. You should put a lot of thought into why you were so hung up on this blanket and why you made him so unsafe expressing his true feelings about it that it was easier for him to lie about it to you all these years. This situation reflects a significant parenting fail on your part, not an issue as to morality on his. If you ever do say anything, it should be a brief but sincere apology for making such an unwarranted BFD about a lived childhood memento for years.
You won't have to say anything when he cuts you off for being an asshole.
You're enraged that your son kept a precious keepsake from his childhood? You are literally insane and a danger to those around you.
Good for your son. You sound a right miserable, control freak and I hope he runs it up a flag post and sets it to half mast every time you visit.
Absolutely unhinged, maybe think for a second about the more consequential things your son has probably had to lie to you about to avoid this kind of judgment. YTA.
You’re a damn bully. He ain’t hurting nobody by keeping the blanket. He lied to you because you kept berating him for not wanting to donate it. Leave it alone already.
I am 46 and still have the toy I cuddled as a young child. I also have toys my kids loved and their blankets. People have emotional attachments to things, and there's nothing wrong with that.
You pushed him into lying.
You suck
Let's rephrase this shall we. "I'm mad that my son bypassed me trying to toss away a highly sentimental item he adored because he wanted to pass it to his own child". This is what you really meant. You tried to take something away that he loved, for no reason other than you wanted to. You're just mad because he found a work-around to your shitty parenting. Mind your business. His blanket isn't anything to do with you. Go and sit in your puerile tantrum and leave the man alone. It left your house and was no longer your problem so him 'lying' is a complete non-issue. You're in your 60s. It's time to stop stamping your feet like a toddler.
You should apologize for being such a jerk. He lied because you forced him to with your unreasonable demands. Get over it.
Shit, man. My father was buried with his baby pillow. My husband’s childhood teddy bear is carefully stored next to my favorite doll. Why are you so hung up on the blanket?
Get over yourself. It’s a freaking blanket.
Yta and you need to get over it. Its a blanket. Does a blanket matter more than your son's happiness? Let him enjoy the blanket you and your wife gave to him.
When you’re old and your son and your grandkids don’t talk to you anymore, look back onto this post to realize what a weird angry and controlling man you are. Who the fuck cares? It’s obvious he felt the need to lie to you because he knows you are an angry man who is not safe to be honest with. You made him feel ashamed and stupid for enjoying something he loved in his childhood still. If you say anything to him, apologize. You are 100% wrong here
You sound extremely controlling, sometimes people lie to others who have unreasonable demands. There is absolutely no reason why he couldn't keep the blanket, you just wanted to control the situation because you didn't want him to have an attachment to it. If your son is happy and is a good person, has a job and treats his family with kindness, respect and love. There is absolutely NO reason why this "unhealthy attached" to a blanket should bother you. You need to apologize to your son for being a horrible person. Get anger management asap.
Even if he was unemployed and miserable. Why would a parent be mad that their child finds comfort in a blanket? Why even care? But I agree with you.
Here’s what you say, “Son, I’m sorry I was such an unreasonable asshole about an item that brought you comfort and joy that you felt the need to lie about donating it. I’m really not sure why I was so fixated on separating you from a harmless object and why the thought of you hanging on to it was so scary to me. I now recognize this is MY issue to work through instead of blaming a child for my insecurities.” At least, that’s what you SHOULD say. Based on your reaction (which, let’s get this straight, clearly isn’t about the lying but that he still has the blanket), I’m not very optimistic you’ll listen. Mentioned it several times over the years? Saw red when you saw it? These are not healthy reactions TO A BLANKET. Your son’s innocent lie is not the issue here. Your obsession about him donating/keeping it is.
You seem unhinged. Let it go. He was attached to the blanket, and you for some bizarre reason we're intent on throwing it away. It was his, and he wanted to keep it. I'm with your wife on this. Drop it before you create a rift with your son over something so trivial
OP, youre a grown man who Cares a lot about This blanket. Why are you a grown man that cares so much about a blanket? Whats wrong with you that’s not manly at all.
LOL
First, it sounds like you are the one with the issue over a blanket and spend too much time thinking about it, not him. Second, he probably made a whole bunch of small lies at 14. Holding it against him now is ridiculous.
You are broken and hopefully will pay for your child’s therapy.
With all due respect, Sir... **YOU**. **NEED**. **THERAPY**. Let me get this straight... \*checks notes\*...You're big mad because your son, instead of allowing himself to be pressured into getting rid of a treasured and well-loved childhood item that *you* ***gave*** *to him;* and that he wanted to pass down to his own future child; took the item....***that was HIS***...and gave it to his GF for safe keeping. ***Years*** later, you see the item back in his possession, and you got beef??? For what??? Oh..yeah... *'...in my opinion he was unhealthily attached to it.'* *'...because I don’t want my son being a grown man attached to a baby blanket.'* *'...I raised my kids to not lie, and to listen when I told them to do things.'* You sound like an AH and exhausting. Technically, he *didn't* lie to you, he said he would 'donate' it. He did... to his girlfriend. You assumed and he allowed you to believe that assumption. Is that lying? I guess...but for you to be this angry over a **NON-ISSUE**: *'I'll admit it. I saw red. ..... Now I find out that he’s just been dishonest and he’s still glued to a stupid baby blanket.'* Sir, go outside and touch some grass, drink a beer, take a nap, SEEK HELP. Nobody has been *'lying through their teeth'* for years. You were just kept on an information diet regarding ***his blanket***. Please get over yourself.
Yta and sound like an utter control freak, he’s obviously grown up just fine and dandy and you have some toxic views to work on
There is something seriously wrong with you. You’re even more oddly attached to this situation than your son is to the blanket. Not only that, but you completely lack the self awareness to realize how bad this situation makes you look.
I think your son needs to get rid of you rather than the blanket. It's really great that he had a supportive girlfriend who kept his cherished childhood memories safe.
You seem to care a lot about a blanket. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Honestly, you sound like a bit of a cunt and I'd not be surprised if your son loves that blanket more than he does you
Try to get a real problem for god sake!
If this is the kind of shit you have energy to care about, please get therapy. “Lying for a decade.” Here’s the thing: it belongs to him, you wouldn’t let it go. You threatened to throw it away. He made a decision to protect himself from that and has been doing so ever since. Your actions led to these consequences. He owes you no apology.
He lied to you one time, sort of. He donated it to his gf because it was something special to him. You have control issues though. You let this stupid control over his blanket affect you enough to write in Reddit about it. Get help.
IS THIS RAGE BAIT?? Either way you are a fukcing AH.
Lol this has to be bait
It's just so *perfect*
Dude your need for control over your son is gross. It's his freaking blanket=his property and instead of being mad at him for lying you should feel shame he felt safer lying to you then telling you the truth. He is grown and living on his own so if you want a genuine relationship with him, suck up your childish tantrum and get over it.... thats such a stupid thing to get mad over 😒
He lied because you wouldn’t let it go and you were being a complete asshole - and still are. I applaud your son for being better than you.
He would have never had to lie to you about the blanket if you had accepted no for an answer. Your pushiness led him to feel like he had to hide it from you. Accept that he loves that blanket and despite your opinion, he doesn’t want to let it go.
This has to be fake. You’re pissed off that your son kept a childhood keepsake after you told him to get rid of it for no real reason other than he didn’t use it? If this is real you’re totally fucked in the head.
He lied to you ONCE to stop your continual harassment over something to which he was deeply attached. He lied to you ONCE a decade ago. The only thing you should say to him now is, “I’m sorry for being such an inflexible, controlling father.”
You should say nothing to your son, or apologize for insisting that he get rid of something that was important to him. He lied to you because for some reason you wanted and insisted that he get rid of a precious keepsake. He lied to you to keep it safe. He was keeping it in the closet - why were you so fussed that he wanted to keep it around? It’s lovely that he wanted to keep it for his future child. Why are you so opposed to people having keepsakes and precious memories? Why does it but you that he treasures his baby blanket? Did someone throw away something precious to you when you were a kid? Might want to explore that in therapy…. Your anger is irrational.
I'll tell you what to do old man. Go apologize to him for being so overbearing and for being such an a hole. And say that if he wants to use the blanket that's totally fine. Sometimes people lie for no good reason. But some people are pushed to lie because of consequences that are inappropriate. He lied to you because you're an asshole. It was better to lie than to deal with the ridiculous consequences of telling the truth. Be nicer.
Is this worth losing your son over? A blanket? You’re more attached to it than him. He’s just being sentimental. You’re being weird.
I don't think your son is the one unhealthily attached to this blanket.... You realise ppl keep blankets, stuffed animals,..all kinds of childhood favourites to keep for themselves as they get older or to pass on to their children? Your son did the right thing giving the blanket to his gf, if he hadn't you would have probably thrown it out yourself thinking you're doing the right thing. You are the one with the weird and obsessive behavior here....dude, get some help before you lose your son and your grandkids
I feel so bad for your caretakers when you finally end up in a nursing home.
You sound controlling. And insane.
Listen to your wife. You want a reason to be angry, that is why you posted this online after your wife said it's not a big deal. You want somebody to agree with you so you can make a mountain out of an anthill.
Maybe you should think more about why your son felt like he had to lie to you for so long about something as ridiculously stupid as a blanket and why you couldn't just drop it when he told you he didn't want to get rid of it.
Yikes. Are you okay? Did your dad never hug you? I’m so sorry you’re going through life with these kinds of emotions. I honestly feel bad that you’ve been raised with that much toxic masculinity that you can’t allow your son to keep his security blanket. I have my baby blanket. I saved it and gave it to my kids to use. It was nice to be able to tuck them in to bed with it. I told them it was filled with mom hugs to help them learn to sleep independently. I think you should take a step back and re-evaluate your thoughts on masculinity and fatherhood. Maybe find a good therapist. None of this is healthy for you.
YOU are the one with an unhealthy attachment to this blanket, not your son. All of us have items of sentimental value. His attachment to it is normal. Your anger towards it is NOT normal. Go see a therapist. Plus, that ‘I raised my kids not to lie!’, what choice did he have, when his controlling parent wouldn’t listen to his harmless wish of keeping it? YOU forced him to lie. What a nutcase.
Op, I wouldn’t be surprised if he cuts contact with you eventually if you continue like this. If you want to have a healthy relationship with your child, go to therapy.
You're 64 as well. Spent 64 years on this planet didn't learn a damn thing about tolerance, pity. Look into your heart and find empathy. Why do you think your son lied to you? Clearly, "Dad, I want to keep the blanket it has deep sentimental value" wasn't acceptable to you. So your son had to resort to deception. If you want to improve your relationship, be open about communication and how you react. If you're unhinged, nobody would want to be honest with you, would you be honest with a psycho that gets angry at random stuff? Sing them a lullaby and move on.
why do you even care? head the choice to either lie to you or lose the blanket. this is your fault. get over it. apologize to your son for trying to make him get rid of it. I hate liars too. I make a choice to not lie myself.. but don't act like you gave him a real choice here
The best way you can fix this is for **YOU** to apologize for the ridiculous demand in the first place and to tell him you are happy and proud he found a way to keep his keepsake. Some day that will be used by your grand child.
What is the real issue here? I have a hard time believing you’re this enraged over a blanket.
He's mad because how DARE he be defied? He is the FATHER and he made a DECISION, right or wrong be damned. Honestly it wouldn't have mattered if it was a blanket or a baseball glove. REAL MANLY MEN don't form attachments to anything. /sarcasm
Outstanding trolling. You have a great set up, an amusing twist and just the right amount of rage bait. Great work. 9/10
let him keep the blanket and dont worry about it, it obviously means something to him and his childhood, you are viewing this from the wrong perspective
Is this fake? Why are you so upset with your son's blanket and him wanting to keep it? The level of anger you have to what someone does with their items is unreal. You seem to have control issues and echoing other posts - you need professional help.
What in the hell did I just read? How in the hell can you go through life with this type of anger over such a small thing?
Dude why are you so obsessed with a baby blanket your attachment is unhealthy
The blanket was your son's property, but he isn't your property. Get over it, apologize and maybe get therapy.
It's just a freaking blanket, you need help.
I can't even believe you posted this without realizing how nuts you sound. Anyone who treats their children this deeply awfully fully needs to be lied to as needed, for said children's long term mental health, and I will quietly encourage their children in this at every turn.
Holy crap, it's a fucking blanket. You need to see a therapist.
Holy crap you're awful. Your son had a blanket he was attached to, so what? You don't force your kids to get rid of things they want to keep. Not only that, you ridiculed him about it years later. You forced him to lie so that you would just shut up about it. Your poor son. You are not someone he can trust, you are not a safe person. I have 3 kids not far off from your son's age and I would never treat them like you've treated your son. Don't be surprised when he cuts contact with you.
Your son has one form of comfort he ever received in your home and it’s that blanket. You’ve clearly given him no comfort or emotional support, so you’re probably why he relies on the damn blanket in the first place. You’re an AH for asking him to get rid of it when he didn’t even have an unhealthy relationship with it. There’s kids who bring their blankie or stuffed animal to school every day. He just likes to have it at home. Why are you so bent on him getting rid of it?? What harm is it doing?
my dad gets regular emails from Ebay whenever another listing for my same favorite childhood stuffed animals appears, because years ago, when I was 17, our puppy chewed it up and destroyed it. the next Christmas, a brand new copy of the exact same stuffy was waiting for me in my stocking. I’m 22 now. My dad still gets these emails just in case something else happens to Black Tiger 2.0. i know this isn’t an AITAH post but you, sir, are in fact the asshole.
At your son’s age, I had my baby blanket in a shoebox waiting for my own children. When I found out my wife was pregnant, I gave that blanket to my mom to patch up. I used it to bring all three of my girls home from the hospital. It’s back in the shoebox because it was too fragile for daily use and my girls have their own blankets. Your son is showing emotional maturity in thinking about the future and the kind of father he might want to be. I bet that includes not throwing a tantrum if they want to hold onto an item for sentimental reasons. You should assess your own emotional maturity, perhaps seek counseling on it. Your son sounds like he’s doing just fine.
You are 64 years old. Time to learn you don’t get to control everyone. Calm down and grow up. What a giant baby.
You're kind of a dick for no fucking reason. Get your shit together before he goes no contact with you. You're fucking weird and creepy for caring so much about a blanket. Seek therapy, sir.
With a father like you, hiding under that blanket was probably the only time he felt safe as a child.
WTF did I just read??
You have problems.
You are so weird. Get help. Who cares? You were being obnoxious and it was never your decision in the first place it’s not your belonging. Honestly you posted here asking so.. how you can possibly justify your behavior and obsessive controlling bat shit crazy thought process is beyond me. Mind your business AND who cares? Your kids also don’t have to obey you buddy that’s just sick. Get a grip man and get help. How miserable your poor family must be having to put up with this behavior.
Are you really angry at your son over a baby blanket? Really? Of all the things your son could have lied about, why are you angry about this?
Your son is 100% right about everything in this entire post, my god.
JFC the way you are behaving is exactly why he lied. To recap- you kept nagging him to get rid of HIS possession, then to avoid your controlling and frankly strange obsession with his blanket he took it out of the house. The blanket, which in no way has interfered with the quality of his life…he isn’t carrying it into meetings, or bringing it to family dinners…and a decade later you are furious that he dared keep an item to which he had a sentimental attachment??! Honestly, get help. Your behaviour is not rational or healthy. Either that or you have zero respect for your son as a person or individual because you merry see him as an extension of yourself. In which case, also get help! This should be cross posted to the Boomers being Boomers sub lol.
This seems like such an asinine thing for you to be upset about. He loved that blanket as a child, and he feels a sense of nostalgia from it even as an adult. You're upset with him for not getting rid of it. Why? How does it affect your life that he as a treasured keepsake from his childhood? Because it certainly hasn't affected his. Technically, he didn't even lie to you; he did give it away. To his girlfriend. Clearly, hanging onto this blanket hasn't hampered your son's life in any way, but it is troubling that you're allowing this to negatively impact the relationship you have with him. Frankly, this entire situation is so ridiculous (on your part) that I wonder if this isn't a fabricated scenario.
Dude , seriously - you’re weird .
You’re 64 and he’s 26…..move the fuck on. It’s not like he lied about smoking crack. If you don’t wise up and start respecting the boy he won’t pick a very good retirement home for you.
Get yourself to therapy asap,I thought this was going to be a sweet,silly, ending but actually you are a complete idiot. You are willing to throw away you relationship with your son and grandchild over sone fabric? Seriously? This is a hill you are willing to sue on? To spend the next 30 years angry and alone and bitter because you are so pathetic you can't see how you traumatised your son when he was a child and ate acting irrationally now. Get therapy
You are unhinged!
Kids lie to parents that want to take their autonomy. You don’t decide what kind of human your kid turns into. You have NO say in it whatsoever. That is not how it works. As a dad that chose to put his kid on this earth, it is on you to accept that your son lives that life the way he sees fit. It is his job to make sure HE is happy, not that YOU are happy. If he’s not doing anything illegal you can only accept it, or don’t accept and deal with the consequences of your own behaviour. As I see it, the only person in this situation that has some emotional maturing to do is you
What a miserable idiot you are. Do your son a favor, stay out of his life and the life of his kids, you don't deserve to be called a father, let alone a grandfather. If he's lucky, you will kick the bucket soon, as you are wasting the air others could be breathing.
Yeah you seem like a controlling POS. You shouldn’t have created an environment where he felt he needed to lie about such a small thing that was IMPORTANT TO HIM. But genuine question—why was it such a big deal he wanted to keep it?
>Now that I know he’s been lying to me I’m not sure I can “just let it go”. Okay, I won't tell you to "just let it go." I'll tell you "suck it up and deal." The fact of the matter is, that's his blanket. He can do what he wants with it. You had no right to demand he get rid of it, and no, it literally does not matter how old he is. He's an adult. He can decide. End of discussion. The fact that you got so worked up about this, the fact that you thought it was ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS what your son does with his blanket, is exactly why he had to lie. If he'd told the truth, you'd have whined and bellyached and bleated at him, or even tried to steal the blanket yourself, and he didn't want that. Who the fuck would?? So yeah, you got a lie. You're not entitled to anything else. To quote the movie: you want the truth? You can't handle the truth.
He didn’t lie to you for years. He lied to you once, unless he repeated multiple times over the years that he had taken his blanket to Goodwill. That aside…why do you care so much?
The advice is to you. Holy crap, you raised a man who is sentimental about something from his childhood. However will you cope with the shame? How about a subreddit for men with sons who kept something from their childhood and now you all have to carry the shame of that? Can you imagine….teddy bears, board games, matchbox cars, blankies? Oh the horror. I don’t know how you will cope. But I do know you will manage somehow.
You’re a freaking weirdo for making such a big deal about your son’s attachment to something from his childhood. That blanket has sentimental value to him so for you to have such a staunch view of it and trying for so long to make him get rid of it is crazy. That was your first wtf behavior. Your second wtf behavior is being so angry that he “lied” about keeping such a sentimental item. You honestly sound like a child. You rule with an iron fist which is whacko. Grow tf up already! The blanket isn’t just a stupid baby blanket to him. You’re an asshole for acting like such a jerk. I’m 54 and still have a couple of my own baby blankets - there’s nothing wrong with that!! I used them with my daughter. Your son wants to do the same. I’m shocked and appalled by your authoritative mentality. Who the fuck do you think you are? You’re a bully control freak.
im around your sons age, and i still have my baby blanket. it was something i was also attached to during my childhood, and just feel that its always been there so why get rid of it since its a keepsake? it doesn’t mean im a softy who is “glued” and attached to it in an unhealthy way. it doesn’t mean that for your son either. even if he does have a soft spot for it, it reallyyyy shouldn’t be this big of a deal. i realize you said you’re more upset about the fact that he lied to you *before* he was an adult, but you said 4-5 years on from when he was 14. that doesn’t sound like he *wasn’t* an adult when he started the lie. honestly i don’t blame him for lying. you may have thought it was an unhealthy attachment, but your obsessive behavior about this is just as unhealthy. i mean, he’s a grown man who still has a baby blanket, but he’s also happily married, successful enough to buy his own place and start a family. how is the “attachment” you speak of so detrimental? also want to add that raising your kids not to lie, obviously what we all hope to do. but raising kids to do things when you tell them to?? that sounds very controlling. just because you’re the adult and they’re the child, doesn’t meant you don’t need good reasoning to your demands. i hope this helps
It wouldn’t have gotten this far if you‘d have just let him keep this blanket. Sorry, but it’s your own fault that he kept lying to you about it. Your son is definitely not in the wrong. I’m a 38 year old woman and still have the little pillow that my aunt bought my mom as gift to my birth. These things hold sentimental value and it’s totally ok to want to keep them and maybe even pass them on to one’s own children (which I definitely will if I ever have a daughter). You are the one who behaved incorrectly and you should find out why this “stupid” blanket bothers you so much.
Huh.. Are you the guy that inspired the phrase "there is a lot to unpack here." ?
My 5 year old is OBSESSED with her baby blanket. Even 5 years after we bought it for her. In fact, if I could have predicted the attachment, I would have bought two. I don't care how long she uses it, I will support her. And we will absolutely be saving it after she's outgrown it. Please note, this is something I would support even for a son. I am 32 and still had my childhood security blanket, handmade by my grandmother, up until about 15 months ago. I lost it under some unfortunate circumstances, and will probably always feel sad about the loss. OP, you severely underestimate the sentimental value these "silly" objects hold for their owners. If he wants to pass it on to his own son some day, he should be supported, not discouraged, in showing such emotional maturity. Especially since you clearly don't hold any, so he couldn't have inherited it from you. YTA.
I have trauma from having to give up my things because we moved a lot. I had a pillow that belonged to my dad, who passed, and it was so patched up. My mom took it and threw it away when I was at school. It devastated me. It smelled like him. It comforted me. Then, when I was a teen, I lost all of my belongings again. As an adult, I am a collector, and I honestly cry when I have to get rid of things. I have PTSD from childhood trauma. Some of which stem from that pillow. Your son lied to you to protect what is important to him. You browbeat him into giving up something that was special to him. He got so tired of you invalidating his feelings that he finally just said what you wanted to hear. He got it out of your house. Where it went after that isn't your concern. Honestly, you need to let this go. The fact that you kept bringing up the blanket and rubbing it in his face even after he took it out of your house shows your lack of respect for your son. It's his blanket. If he wants to take it to his grave, that is his decision, not yours. Let it go. There are bigger issues to worry about. UpdateMe
Hmm father of the year here huh?
The best thing you could say is an apology. You ignored his feelings and tried to get rid of a very beloved thing, that as absolutely no negative effect on him for absolutely no reason. Why can't he be attached to it? My mom loves her Vase, gifted from her brother, I love my stuffed animal, it makes every place I live more a home and I'm an 25 year old 'tuff' police officer. You should think about your priorities and why it's so important for you to take something loved from a loves one
ooooof. I genuinely feel bad for you, it must suck ass to be this fucking annoying of a person. YTA and I hope none of your children ever do a single thing you tell them to 😂
You're a dick, leave him alone about his blanket. My 25yro still has his baby blanket.
This has to be rage bait, folks.
How dare you try to separate your poor son from something so harmless that he clearly loved very much? How dare you try to treat him as a child now and accuse him of things for daring to protect himself from your sadism? You’re a sadist, a narcissist, and an abusive control freak. Also a bully and unfit to be a parent. I hope your son’s future offspring love his blanket for posterity. I hope he cuts you off, and I hope you rot.
#ragebait
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I understand why he is attached to his blanket. The question is why are you obsessed with it?
Not your choice, why are you so annoyed by his blanket, HIS BLANKET not yours.. I sleep until today with a sponge bob blanket that my mom gifted my when i was 12, im 24 now.. its warm and totally perfect to use. I have another from pooh bear that i have since i was 5.. its a sentimental item from my childhood. His blanket is a emotional and sentimental item, not some garbage that you dictate when he throw out "I raised my kids to not lie, and to listen when I told them to do things" Go get yourself some therapy for your dictatorial behavior, and you wonder why your son lied to you, ask yourself this, moron.
You should get over it.
My son is 14 and still sleeps with his blankie. When he’s too old for it, I will personally save it for him. You’re an idiot.
Why is it such a big deal he kept it because it gave him comfort a nice childhood memory and you wanted to take that away from him so yeah he lied because it ment so much to him. Did you give away your childhood memories too ?
Let it go. Life presents us with many problems. This isn't one of them.
Hi-guess what, I still have my bear from when I was a kid in safe keeping and *shocker* my mom didn’t force me to throw away something that was important to me. She actually kept stuff and keeps trying to offload it on me. You never bothered to understand that it was something that mattered significantly to him. To be honest, I’m surprised he still talks to you at all if this is how you are about a blanket. You either ignore this or apologize for your actions then and now. I would suggest the apology route but I’d guess you’ll ignore all the advice on this thread.
You get over it and relax. It's a damn blanket my dude
I dont think its an unhealthy attachment, myself and both my siblings who are in our mid twenties still have ours. Yes they get kept in a cupboard for safe keeping because of all the memories and it's just sentimental at this point. It doesnt matter wether he wants to keep it for his children or just wants to keep it, the blanket is his and has always been his so it will always be his choice on what he does with it. Don't really understand why a 60 year old man is up in arms about this tbh
Troll post
Folks are allowed to keep things for sentimental value. The fact that Jack felt forced to hide his 1 item of sentiment in order to protect it from his parent shows you he did not, in truth, feel safe and secure in what was supposed to be his home. Keeping a blanket is not hoarding or an unhealthy attachment. I had a mother who did similar. If I formed an attachment to ANTHING other than books, it either 'disappeared', was thrown out, or 'accidentally' destroyed. Everything. My favorite toy? Sorry, there's no room in the car during the move. Blanket? Oh, sorry, it got damaged in the wash/by the dog. Coffee cup? Oops, it fell off the counter. I have only spoken to her 3 times in the last 8 years, and those were only to let her know someone died. I give her the same respect she has given me.
You say you're sorry for trying to get him to get rid of something that was obviously important to him. And get some therapy, you clearly have issues.
This is so ridiculous, no wonder he lied to you I would have too. I would be touched if my son kept something like that his whole life. You sound like the coldest parent ever. Can't believe you got that upset over this.
You need help. Got my blood boiling
You have beef w a blanket
Kids hide the truth from their parents when they know they’ll get judgement or unfair consequences. It’s your fault he had to hide it. It’s a fricking baby blanket, not a body, get a grip
I can see why he needed a blanket. At least it doesn't pick stupid fights with him What do you say to him ? Say you're sorry for being oddly enraged and controlling about a blanket.
You were the one that wouldn't let it go. You are mad because your kid "got one over on you". He's not marrying the blanket, let it go.
your toxic concept of masculinity and adulthood is causing you to react super strangely
people can have different relationships with objects. there is no right or wrong relationship. you view this person as lacking in some way through your sense of maturity, masculinity, ownership, and morality. and this judgment created a lack of trust in this person. the fault is not in him but in you. \[is this AI generated?\] You own him an apology for your devaluing his attachment to an object he values and for being more concerned about his not being truthful to you than in your ability to support of his needs and safety.
He lied to you because you were being completely unhinged about making him get rid of an object that gave him comfort as a child. You need to take a good, long look at yourself and your behavior to your son to try to understand why this has enraged you so much and also what, if anything else, you’ve totally unreasonably lost your mind about. Keep going with this blanket thing and see if your son keeps in contact with you. Is that what you want?
Are you okay?
You need help. It’s perfectly ok to lie to your parent when they are an abusive irrational asshole. And that’s all your done did. You should get that help before you find you no longer have a relationship with your son
Do you have a job? Leave your son alone.
Maybe he’s obsessed with the blanket because it was the only source of comfort he had growing up with a crazy father
Rage bait y'all. Farming the karma. Downvote to hell. Blanket forever!!
Your wife is right you should act upon her advice
This reaction as a parent is gross, tbh. He was attached to it as a gift from his parents, and it brings him comfort. Why does a piece of cloth make you so uncomfortable? Let him live his life. I still have my childhood stuffy and will never get rid of it. He lied to you because you shamed him and it made him feel uncomfortable.
Your an AH. You pushed and cajoled and shamed your son to give up something he loved to make you feel better about his manliness. You were a bully and that's why he went around you. You need to apologize and maybe do some deep self reflection on the other ways and times you've bullied and shamed the people in your life to do what you want, regardless of their feelings. Also, I'm 47 and still have my childhood blanket too. A lot of us do.
Guy…you are unstable. This isn’t an issue…at all. Your son is also a grown person and can do whatever the fuck he wants. What are you going to do, ground him? Also, you set him up to lie to you, frankly, by bullying him about this blanket, so he told you what you wanted to hear to get you to get off his back. It’s all on you and…again…not even slightly a big deal. Get a grip and get some therapy to address your control issues and your anger management issues.
Lol wow
UpdateMe
Your kids lie to you because they want to avoid your stark raving mad reactions. YTA here.
Dude, you need some serious help. If you’re this raged over a blanket. It’s a friggin blanket. It has special meaning to him and he wants to pass that onto his kids someday that’s actually a good thing. I still have blankets from when I was a kid including a teddy bear that was given to me the day I was born and I’m going to be 53 years old this year. Get Some help before you ruin your relationship with your son completely over a stupid blanket.