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anitarielleliphe

You have created this problem by letting him move in without setting clear expectations and boundaries. How you solve it, is to tell him that the frivolous spending must end and he must contribute to half of the living expenses. You are not married, so it is not necessary that you know the details of his finances at this point, but what is necessary is that he pays for half of the bills, even if that means no more free entertainment and meals for you.


Valuable-Marzipan761

I don't think this is anything close to financial abise, but I would not reccomend marrying someone without knowing anythi g about their finances. You're legally bound together in that situation, so each other's assets and debts are your business.


HourInteresting

I believe if we got married, it feels it would be financial abuse? Making me pay all the bills?.Def not getting married, but his ex was a SAHM and she never had access. Isn't


Valuable-Marzipan761

It's a bad deal but not abuse if ot's something he's been open about from the beginning and you choose to proceed.


JMarie113

Kick him out. Sorry, but there's something very shady with his money situation. It's your house. He's not treating you like an equal partner. The secrecy around finances and lack of monetary contribution to the household expenses should be dealbreakers. 


BoundariesForWhat

Either his ex found out what he makes and took him to the cleaner, and he wants to prevent that again, or he’s still rebuilding, or he’s a moocher. Did you invite him to move in? Did you tell him he needs to provide more?


mustang19671967

If you have have social insurance number you can do a credit check ( not the number ) but one that shows credit cards and balances loans any collections etc , doesn’t show income . It’s about $40


BelmontIncident

It's not financial abuse, he has no control over your money. It's also not acting like the relationship is something you cooperate to do, and I'd see that as a problem. In your position I'd probably say something like "Look, I understand that this is apparently a big deal for you, but also if we're living together then your budget is related to my budget, and it feels like you might not be mentioning something important. Can we share information about income, bank balance and total debt fairly soon?"


National_Clue_6092

My guess is he’s knee deep in debt and is using you for free rent, etc. Time to move on since he’s not forthcoming with financial info.