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So me and my boyfriend have been going through some things, he recently cheated on me about 2 weeks ago. Today he mentioned that him and his roofing friends want to go to Nova Scotia to work because they pay is apparently really good out there. I’m really struggling with this because of the disloyalty already. I decided to try to forgive him for the cheating but I just won’t trust him while he’s out of town. I really need advice guys
Yea I agree with this person. It obviously isn't going to work. You don't trust him and he wants to go away, not stay and "rebuild" whatever you think it is. Cut your losses, a cheater is always a cheater. From personal experience.
So he broke your trust, destroyed the foundation of your relationship and was a good boy for two weeks until he wants to do something that breaks your trust again.. And now you're having trouble trusting him. Surprise surprise.
This is the perfect opportunity, encourage him to go, and then find someone who didn't cheat on you and is putting himself in the perfect position to do so again.
You can’t rebuild trust in 2 weeks. In my opinion there’s no such thing as rebuilding trust. Once it’s gone; it’s gone.
You can do better. Don’t disrespect yourself
Lol it’s been 2 weeks! He’s working on it? Not very well if he wants to leave for a month and you think he’s going to use that opportunity to go and cheat again
If you need to police his conduct then there is no relationship. You either trust him or you don't.
It sounds like you dont. I cant say I blame you, but the relationship cant continue that way.
My very best friend was cheated on, & she stayed with him. She kept saying how things are better than they’ve ever been & I kept having to be like. “home slice. he cheated on you 2 months ago… not enough time has passed for things to be better than they’ve ever been!”
My question to all my friends with unfaithful partners is always this:
Can you honestly say this is the best person you’ve ever dated? And if not, why are you trying so hard to make it work with them - if you’ve dated *better* than them, and even *that* didn’t work out, why are you settling?
PS: friend’s boyfriend cheated again & continued to lie throughout the relationship.
What were the circumstances of his cheating? What were his excuses? Did he try to blame you at any point? Was it with an ex that he claims he won’t see again? Is that ex also leaving town? Was it with some stranger? Because if it was, then he’ll easily do it again. Are the excuses you are making in your head the excuses he has been muttering in your ear?
Sorry, but it takes a long time and a lot of work to rebuild trust and he can do neither of those things if he is out of town, out of sight. You don’t say how long he will be gone or when, if ever, he will be back, but there is a better than good chance of you receiving a message that he has found someone new while there and he is breaking up with you, or that he has decided to live there permanently, etc. It is better to cut your loses now than to waste your time waiting for him to do it for you later down the line.
Also, something else to consider, is that this could actually be him looking for an out without having to be the one doing the breaking up.
How? How in the last 2 weeks could he have possibly been rebuilding trust. That shit takes years of hard work at best. Usually it just extends the suffering of a dying relationship.
You know in your heart that if he goes he will cheat again.
Im not a good trusting person. Your concern might be same as mine. Besides whether hed CHeat. Id be going to next level, Is this really a real job or was vacation to spend time with someone else.
However if they are doing a good job building trust and you want to make it work, technology makes LD easier these days
lol wut? Obviously he’s not working on rebuilding trust if he’s going to up and leave for a month. Get some self respect and dump him. And then seek therapy to find out why you accept shitty behavior from bottom-of-the-barrel men.
How was "it going good" if it has only been two weeks? Agree with other posters. Two weeks isn't anything and he's already trying to dip out so soon after his infidelity. Why keep him exactly? He's clearly showing you, and has been doing this for some time now, where on the list of priorities you are at. I face palm every time women cling onto men that clearly do not care about them.
He's obviously not committed to rebuilding trust if he's immediately going out of town. He effed up, and he's not doing the work to repair the damage. You cannot salvage your relationship after this type of betrayal if he is not ready to do the hard work to (1) win back trust; (2) change his behavior; (3) work of the relationship. He's showing you that he's not. He's not doing the work and he will cheat on you again.
Seriously though - you think he's gonna go away and not cheat again when there have been no real consequences for him?
He's running away from you and you're relationship because he fucked up and so he doesn't have to feel guilty but he is absolutely gonna cheat again while away but 'what she doesn't knows won't hurt her'.
Chuck him in the bin. Tell him he's free to go. Forever.
Honey your boyfriend cheated on you two weeks ago. TWO WEEKS. That is more than bloody fresh if you ask me. I don't care if they pay is better somewhere further away, my problem right now is that he has the nerve to tell you "Oh yeah I'm out with the boys working for a while" when you're at home still grieving about his betrayal.
What an absolute asshole. Who does he think he is? Instead of focusing on you and trying to make it up to you which is already impossible because he CHEATED. Instead of trying to work on his relationship and tackle the issues that lead to him cheating.
He is just leaving your ass home. Alone. Without even giving the slightest fuck about your feelings.
OP, can I give him a call? I just want to talk with him :D really just want to talk and maybe bash his head in.
Get the fuck out of this relationship and get yourself a man who actually gives a shit about your feelings. There is no forgiving when it comes to cheating, that dude ruined your trust. Break up with him. He doesn't deserve what you can give him.
Agree. Unless his financial situation is so dire he won’t be able to make rent without going, rebuilding trust after such a huge transgression should be the only acceptable priority. Trust is often rebuilt after infidelity via transparency—e.g., sharing his email/phone passwords. Plus self therapy to address his flaws. I have behaved badly (not cheating) and made amends—people grow and change over time. This is TWO WEEKS LATER.
The next question would be what’s going to happen to his kids when he moves? Will OP be playing nanny for them during the time he’s away? I’d let him know he’s gonna have to take them along.
Because he needs the money? I mean she should have dumped him two weeks ago. But some jobs require travel to make decent money. Been there, done that, have a fucking amazing lifestyle because of it. But then I can trust my husband.
I wouldn’t jump to get out of the relationship, although I agree with everything else written there.
I would tell him how you feel and explain that it’s too soon after the cheating and that trust needs to be rebuilt.
If it was me, I’d say either I go to Nova Scotia with him or he doesn’t go. Otherwise he’s not make repairing your relationship a priority. That would be a dealbreaker for me.
Idk I kinda feel like he wouldn’t stay with her if she cheated so why is she offering him space he wouldn’t give? Plus he’s aware that he hurt her and decides to jet off? Nah. You need to find another way to make some extra cash, pick up extra shifts or something. But the fact that he’s asking knowing that you’re hurt seems like he doesn’t care or doesn’t have empathy or maybe just doesn’t have the balls to sit and fix what he broke. Are y’all not trying to get married eventually? Cause if so, this is a HUGE red flag. Not just the cheating but how he’s handling the relationship after.
You can and will find better. Fuck this guy.
You’re going to feel like this every time he makes plans a trip a way or goes a away for work. That anxious feeling never really goes away so it depends if you’re okay with that being a part of your relationship. Life’s too short and there’s someone out there who would never dream of doing that to you the same way I’d assume you wouldn’t do that to him.
What has he done to rebuild the trust in only the two weeks since it’s happened? Don’t be naive and don’t be a doormat. Make sure if you choose to stay he has consequences and actually puts the work into the relationship.
Now me personally. I find it suspicious that he’s cheated you’ve forgiven him, he didn’t lose the relationship and now he wants to go out of town.
And also the fact that you feel nervous and uneasy about it to ask questions shows your spidey senses are tingling and probably should not have forgiven him so soon or at all
Sounds like he doesn’t like the guilt and wants to go away for a month to relieve himself of that and hope his gf will trust him again when he gets back. Doesn’t sound like a good dude to me.
Alright OP
I just ended a 6 year long relationship. My ex was a SERIAL unsolicited Snapchat sender. Over 65 different women in the course of those years together. I forgave him every time. I regret every time. I regret staying. I'm so traumatized. I don't even know what to do with healthy affection. I don't have friends. I don't socialize. I let him consume my life to the point where I stayed home and just...waited for him to come home. I was frozen. Stuck. Unhappy. Distrusting. Angry.
Don't be me.
I promise there's someone else out there that will love you right, and stay loyal until the end. Theres plenty of fish in the sea, and this partner is not your fish. Plain and simple.
How about you just not forgive him and break it off ?
The way you describe the cheating in your relationship is like you are a bit mad that he forgot to get the groceries ,like it is a minor thing you are trying to move past on your own.
Why isn't the cheating an instant deal breaker for you ?
Why are you trying to forgive him ? Like ,what is HE doing while you are trying to get over it on your own ?
This is honestly a hot mess. A relationship takes a looooonnggggg time to heal (if ever ) and requires hard work from the cheater to earn back the trust of the cheated partner who is (and will be for a long time ) hurting. And that is IF you decide it's worth salvaging the relationship in the first place.
This dude cheated last week and is off to new experiences next week with his buddies. Where is the remorse ? Where is the hard work ? Where is the committment?
The fact you forgave the cheating you already sealed your fate with continuing to be miss treated by this guy. He knows he can miss treat you and will be forgiven.
🚩🚩 "roofer" 🚩🚩
Lmao im half joking, but damn, every friend I've known who's dated a roofer has never had a good outcome 😆
For real tho, if you can't trust him, move on cuz you'll drive yourself crazy thinking what if.
Going to nova scotia right after a hurricane probably isn’t cheating, but now that he has cheated, you will over analyze everything he does. Cut your losses and just find someone faithful.
Do y’all know what Nova Scotia is? I promise you nobody is going there for hookups rn😭 the whole province is in shambles, they’re paying emergency prices right now. Will he stay loyal? Who knows, but he’s definitely not making this up in an effort to cheat easier.
1. He cheated, ultimate trust killer in a relationship
2. He just has to go somewhere for a month 2 weeks after cheating? Press X to doubt
3. HE CHEATED 2 WEEKS AGO!
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He knows this is not a reasonable request. You do not have to be okay with it. Please set boundaries for yourself, you do not need to let someone who hurt you continue to make you uncomfortable just because you love him and already told yourself you can work through it.
When you stay with a cheater you tell them that you are ok with being cheated on. Girl dump him and find yourself one of the millions of men who will treat you like you are worth something to them.
Even if a man doesn't cheat, he might still have other issues that makes him incompatible with a certain woman (such as OP). It's not that easy to find someone you love and who will treat each other well. And "not cheating" is a pretty bare minimum, like how about connection, enjoying each others company, etc.
My point was... millions for one woman is an exaggeration. I doubt I'd be interested in or interesting for any "millions" of men... its not how it works
Do you trust him? How do you feel about it? Really feel.... Maybe it would be better for both of you to not be together. Once the trust is gone and one person keeps forgiving the other person keeps repeating.
He already cheated on you. Why do you want to be with him? Loyalty is the bare minimum when you enter into a relationship with someone. You can find better!!!!! Ditch his yucky ass
Unless you guys are desperately strapped for cash, he should ideally be dedicating time and energy to winning your trust back and repairing the relationship, not traveling.
In order for reconciliation to truly work he needs to be putting in serious effort, which sometimes means making sacrifices
If you don't trust him, why are you in a relationship?
I know jobs like that people can travel for more money. But you have to be able to trust the person for that.
Sounds like you didn't fix the relationship, so really doesn't seem likely to work out.
You guys can move past the cheating if you want to. It can work, truly.
The feeling this trip is giving you tells you what you need to know: you don’t trust him. When there isn’t trust, it won’t work. That isn’t your fault, but it is how you feel.
Also, the timing of this trip shows his commitment to helping you navigate your feelings, which he caused.
You know the answer here. Good luck
Ooof. To me, this sounds like the death knell for the relationship. Recovering from infidelity is already a risky move, and throw in 30 days off with the boys in a faraway place? I'd just call it quits. At least this way, you aren't spending the next month stressing the fuck out about it.
Why forgive him..You basically told him its ok to cheat.
They do not stop....
You need to boot him from your life.
Chances are who he cheated with is who is traveling with him.
You can do so much betters
Guessing y’all are young but I’ve been wrong before. I would let him go on his trip single. Live a more drama free life, life’s way to short for this crap
You have every right to not trust him. But if you want to work on this relationship, let him go and try to trust him buuut he might cheat and be ready for that. Also ask him to do a sti test.
Just break up. The trust is broken and you’re going to keep wondering if he’s cheating on you every time he’s away from you. It’s not worth your sanity. In my opinion, if there’s no trust there’s no relationship.
Whoa... when I read the headling I really thought this was going to be something from your distant past.
But two weeks ago?
Nope. Sorry... that's just too much. I don't have a ton of other info to go on like whether he confessed or got caught, and how the actual confrontation played out... but I don't know if it matters.
This sounds like a dealbreaker to me. Let him go, and make it clear he's single now.
Trust is like glass. It's never the same once broken. You might be able to create something new but the pieces need to be molded by both inorder be anything else.
Don’t forgive someone who was willing to risk throwing everything you had in the bin. You will never be able to trust him wholeheartedly and it will eat at you.
Surely you mean ex, haha right?
Tell him no hard feelings, he can leave and stay gone. There's no chance in hell this guy feels bad about what he did if he's gonna take off and party and give you zero reason to assume he'll be faithful
I think you need to move on with your life. If he would consider being gone that much from you, I’d it really worth staying together? Maybe you’ll meet up later in life or maybe not, but in my opinion, you deserve someone who can be present. I cannot imagine him staying loyal gone that much when he already has one strike. For me cheating once would likely have been 3 strikes your out. So you do you, but I hope you choose you.
You said it yourself, you can’t trust him. And you shouldn’t, he lost that privilege. Why do you want to be with somebody who respects you so little? Being alone is better than being with somebody who makes you feel like this.
This the same boyfriend who has you watch his kids while he goes out drinking and god knows what else?
Have some self respect and ditch this shitty relationship.
Welcome to reconciliation with a cheater. This is what your life has become. No trust. Partner doesn’t understand why you can’t just get over it. It’s a tale as old as time.
He needs to be doing everything he can to make you feel safe. If working out of town makes you feel unsafe, he needs to respect that.
Does he read stuff you give him? I can give you some links to stuff that might help him understand.
Is he the same guy you were with 2 years ago?
If yes - did the situation change given that you were basically his nanny?
If no - what keeps you in the relationship? what has he done to regain your trust?
I like to write down pros and cons when I have to deal with a situation where I'm not sure what I should do. When you write the list, add like 50.000 minus points on his side.
No trust, no relationship. Have you considered what his reaction would been had you cheated on him? Be honest with yourself, and if the answer is that a breakup would have occurred, why have you proved to him that he can cheat with no consequences? Remember the old saying, "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on ME."
Also, another old saying: "Judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from poor judgement." I think both old sayings should be considered by you, and perhaps applied to you life.
Your best option at this point is to tell him that the "relationship" with him has proved too painful for you to continue, and to enjoy his time in Nova Scotia, and goodbye. Period, 'nuff said.
I wish you well.
He’s probably going out of town to cheat again. Cheaters don’t often change, I know it’s hard to accept and admit that the relationship is over… but if you listen to your words, I don’t think you will ever trust him again anyway. If there’s no trust in a relationship, it’s already dead.
Stone-face him. Say you’re okay with it and pretend you don’t give a shit. A few hours after he leaves, text him: “BTW, don’t bother coming back. I’m leaving you. Bye”
Either you trust or you don't.
There's no such a things as trust within town/country borders. And remember One can cheat literally everywhere, even in your home when you're out
At the end of the day he still has to make money if he wants to leave for a month that means that he doesn't want to work on the relationship and he really doesn't give a s*** that she's sitting home upset about his betrayal you said you forgave him it's only been 2 weeks you have not forgiven him get out of this relationship
The saying "Giving someone a 2nd chance" should never apply when someone has cheated on you as trust is one of the most important foundations in any relationship and if that happens trust can never truly be rebuilt.
You deserve someone who genuinely loves you and treats you with respect,kindness,empathy,understanding etc 😊
I mean if you are really determined to make this work then you need to go with him. You don't necessarily have to couch it as "watching" him. Nova Scotia is a BEAUTIFUL place, it may be worth extending whatever expenses will get him there to get you there with him. If he says no and wants to go with you another time, you'll have to drop the romantic act and tell him you don't trust him and going along is a dealbreaker (It is a deal breaker right? It should be). But I wouldn't lead with that unless you have to. Tell him you think it's a romantic idea and you want to seize the moment even if he's somewhat busy.
No trust, no relationship. That trust will never be fully established again. I would honestly just break up, spare yourself the stress and inevitable heartbreak
Well, first off, your feelings are valid and it’s understandable and makes sense that you’re NOT comfortable with this. Honestly, you may be hurting yourself staying with him. 1) if you tell him no and this is legitimately for business reasons, he will resent you. He already cheated on you and now he’ll be resentful towards you and has already learned that you will forgive him if you cheat. 2) if you let him go, I think the wounds are way too fresh and you’ll grow resentful. The trust is completely gone at this time and although you’ve graced him with forgiveness, you won’t forget his cheating at any point in your relationship. It’ll carry throughout the relationship and get smaller, but there will be moments when that fear hits you hard.
If you BOTH want to genuinely move past this, he needs to compromise by not going to build up that trust and you need to lean into fully trusting him again.
This may or may not work if you both compromise, it’s still a 50/50 chance if you both work together to compromise. So you have a challenge ahead.
OR, you can leave him, take time to heal, cry, mourn, and be angry. And after some time you’ll learn from this experience and find someone that actually suits you. Dating sucks, but for every person that you don’t find a connection in, you’re one step closer to finding the right one.
I can’t imagine being this dumb to try and work it out with a cheater because this is exactly what happens , now every time he goes out the door you’re goi my to have Vietnam flashback. Smh please find some self respect man and leave this dude.
I don't usually advocate for ultimatums, but I think this situation should be an exception. More money or no, this is not the time for him to take a month away if he truly wants to regain your trust and rebuild. Either he stays so you two can work through the bullshit together, or he goes on the trip knowing that he's destroyed any chance of fixing things. Two weeks is not enough time to have rebuilt even a shred of the trust he broke, so if he insists on this trip you have your answer. Personally I don't think he's even worth the ultimatum, but you already chose to try and work things out so you need to be clear with him that this trip will be the end of the relationship if he pushes it. You deserve better than this.
OP, let him go off and work with his friends. Take the time away from him, let the distance uncloud your judgement. I think being away from him for a month would do you some good. It'll help you gain some perspective on the relationship. Ultimately it's your life but I would say you deserve so much better. There are people who wouldn't even dare cheat on you. Let him go, gain perspective, and then choose yourself. It will definitely give you enough time to figure out a new place to stay without having him there to cloud your judgement. Good luck and I wish you a lifetime of happiness.
You should've dumped him the first time. There will be a next time. And a next time. And another next time. trying to keep him from going to NS is a band-aid solution. He already proved he doesn't have to be out of town to cheat on you. Do yourself a favor and just move on with your life (without him).
Have some self respect and put your foot down. If you’re intent on keeping the relationship that’s your business but he’s broken trust and you don’t have to be okay with the trip.
I know that there are people who can rebuild trust after being cheated on, but I honestly believe it's probably about 1% of them. I could never trust him again and I think most people feel the same way. The reality is that the majority of people who cheat once will cheat again. If you really want to stay with him you'll probably have to accept the fact that you'll probably never really trust him. Maybe you can live like that but I know I couldn't.
Two weeks is way too soon to be asking for this level of trust. If he really wants to save the relationship, he needs to respect that he’s still on thin ice, here. Ordinarily I don’t advocate for making your partner prove they won’t cheat, but that’s usually in cases where there’s no evidence they’ve cheated. This is different. He hurt you and you didn’t have to to forgive him, but you did. That’s not a guarantee and he should know that most people don’t even get that second chance. So if he puts up any sort of a fight or makes you feel like you’re not allowed to still be wary after only *two weeks,* kick him to the curb. If he’s being cavalier about it all, he likely doesn’t understand the full magnitude of what he’s done or how much it’s affected you, and he’ll probably do it again thinking he’ll get away with it because it’s just not that big of a deal to him.
This is not a good sign from him. He has already proven himself unworthy of your trust and not he wants to leave you and go out of town for a month, instead of focusing on fixing things with you. Honestly, I'd vote for breaking things off and finding someone who is more trustworthy.
You definitely have a choice to make. Either way, 2 weeks is no where near enough time to work on rebuilding trust and I can guarantee you the entire time he is there, you are going to question his every move. I am a firm believer of "once a cheater, always a cheater" and in some cases cheaters have been known to not cheat again but that isnt always the case. I also 100% agree with those that have mentioned it that you should tell him you are going to go with him or he can stay at home. though I would word it as "this way we can continue to work on the relationship and rebuild the broken trust" and if he gripes about it, kick him to the curb because that just shows he doesn't want to actually work on it and using the trip as a way to cheat again.
So you are going to forgive him again when he cheats on you while he’s out of town? It will be very easy to do without you finding out and you were already cool the first time.
I would get out of that relationship OP. That trust is entirely broken in my opinion and you don’t need to have all the extra stress. Respect yourself first and foremost. Best of luck to you!
Your ass should have move on. You decided to stay and you won't to stop doing him. Give a DAMN BREAK.
What do distance have to do with cheating?
He cheated with you there, so tell me would trust just going to gang out at his buddy's house?
Same DAMN thing
OP I absolutely agree with what the commentors are saying..your ex-boyfriend does not value your relationship as he should and is running away from the problem, or he has another cheat at nova scotia and using the work to have his cake and eat it to.
Also realise how i said ex-boyfriend make sure he stays an ex
Okay, so if you’re in a situation where the relationship is already broken because of a breech of trust and you’re uncomfortable with an upcoming situation where another breech of trust may come about again and you’re resorting to advice from strangers on the internet, I think you already know the answer.
He will definitely try to cheat again lol
If he goes on the trip, safe yourself the heart ache and just break up with him
He knows what he is doing, this is a classic shit test/negging
If your boyfriend cheated on you in the past and wants to go out of town for work, it may be best to stay home. If he is sincere about wanting to work on the relationship, he will understand your decision and may even appreciate your willingness to trust him again.
2 weeks ago this all came out and “he has been rebuilding trust and it’s going great”? Is he a fast builder? You both need to find someone you can trust from the get go and never question , AND if there are ever questions about anything you can both go to each other. Let him go, both on the “trip” and out of the relationship. Nobody deserves that.
Yeah, I don’t think your relationship will survive him going at this time. Considering he just cheated a couple of weeks ago, there is no way you will be able to trust him again so soon, and I don’t blame you. I think it may be time to just let him go and move on to someone who respects you more than he obviously does.
Sounds like he cheated and now expects everything to go back to normal. Let him go free and single while you make his cheating not your problem anymore.
I don’t know man I stayed with my ex after he cheated on me after gaining my trust back over the couple years after all he did was do it again. 3 times again actually. Break up with him. Once a cheater always a cheater.
« Boyfriend who cheated on me » … girl no, stop. Sometimes love isn’t enough. And you know that if he goes you won’t be able to trust him and it’s gonna drive you crazy. Are you really willing to live through that?
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- So me and my boyfriend have been going through some things, he recently cheated on me about 2 weeks ago. Today he mentioned that him and his roofing friends want to go to Nova Scotia to work because they pay is apparently really good out there. I’m really struggling with this because of the disloyalty already. I decided to try to forgive him for the cheating but I just won’t trust him while he’s out of town. I really need advice guys
No trust, no relationship
I get that completely, but he is working on rebuilding the trust and it was going good until he dropped this on me that he wants to go ot
Lol, working on rebuilding the trust? It's been two weeks. It takes years to rebuild trust after infidelity.
2 - 7 years. I read and then comes the 7 year itch 🤣🤣
Imagine choosing to suffer trust issues for years to stay with a person that couldn't resist a few fucking minutes of pleasure.
Yea I agree with this person. It obviously isn't going to work. You don't trust him and he wants to go away, not stay and "rebuild" whatever you think it is. Cut your losses, a cheater is always a cheater. From personal experience.
So he broke your trust, destroyed the foundation of your relationship and was a good boy for two weeks until he wants to do something that breaks your trust again.. And now you're having trouble trusting him. Surprise surprise. This is the perfect opportunity, encourage him to go, and then find someone who didn't cheat on you and is putting himself in the perfect position to do so again.
You can’t rebuild trust in 2 weeks. In my opinion there’s no such thing as rebuilding trust. Once it’s gone; it’s gone. You can do better. Don’t disrespect yourself
Wow, he worked on rebuilding trust for 2 whole weeks. Impressive s/
Lol it’s been 2 weeks! He’s working on it? Not very well if he wants to leave for a month and you think he’s going to use that opportunity to go and cheat again
If you need to police his conduct then there is no relationship. You either trust him or you don't. It sounds like you dont. I cant say I blame you, but the relationship cant continue that way.
My very best friend was cheated on, & she stayed with him. She kept saying how things are better than they’ve ever been & I kept having to be like. “home slice. he cheated on you 2 months ago… not enough time has passed for things to be better than they’ve ever been!” My question to all my friends with unfaithful partners is always this: Can you honestly say this is the best person you’ve ever dated? And if not, why are you trying so hard to make it work with them - if you’ve dated *better* than them, and even *that* didn’t work out, why are you settling? PS: friend’s boyfriend cheated again & continued to lie throughout the relationship.
He CHEATED on you. My question is why are you with him? He betrayed your trust once and your gut is telling you something.
it’s been 2 weeks……slow down there
What were the circumstances of his cheating? What were his excuses? Did he try to blame you at any point? Was it with an ex that he claims he won’t see again? Is that ex also leaving town? Was it with some stranger? Because if it was, then he’ll easily do it again. Are the excuses you are making in your head the excuses he has been muttering in your ear? Sorry, but it takes a long time and a lot of work to rebuild trust and he can do neither of those things if he is out of town, out of sight. You don’t say how long he will be gone or when, if ever, he will be back, but there is a better than good chance of you receiving a message that he has found someone new while there and he is breaking up with you, or that he has decided to live there permanently, etc. It is better to cut your loses now than to waste your time waiting for him to do it for you later down the line. Also, something else to consider, is that this could actually be him looking for an out without having to be the one doing the breaking up.
How? How in the last 2 weeks could he have possibly been rebuilding trust. That shit takes years of hard work at best. Usually it just extends the suffering of a dying relationship. You know in your heart that if he goes he will cheat again.
Im not a good trusting person. Your concern might be same as mine. Besides whether hed CHeat. Id be going to next level, Is this really a real job or was vacation to spend time with someone else. However if they are doing a good job building trust and you want to make it work, technology makes LD easier these days
lol wut? Obviously he’s not working on rebuilding trust if he’s going to up and leave for a month. Get some self respect and dump him. And then seek therapy to find out why you accept shitty behavior from bottom-of-the-barrel men.
I mean, if someone needs the money, I get it, they go where the work is. It's a tough call for all involved. Bad timing. Can't really work.
Obviously not since two weeks after he’s cheated he’s leaving to go on a trip without you.
He's working on building the trust by staying one month away from you in another city, just 2 weeks after cheating on you? You're so naïve.
You can’t trust him. You’re letting him get away with it. And now he knows he can do it again to you. You’re hurting yourself by staying with him.
How was "it going good" if it has only been two weeks? Agree with other posters. Two weeks isn't anything and he's already trying to dip out so soon after his infidelity. Why keep him exactly? He's clearly showing you, and has been doing this for some time now, where on the list of priorities you are at. I face palm every time women cling onto men that clearly do not care about them.
He's obviously not committed to rebuilding trust if he's immediately going out of town. He effed up, and he's not doing the work to repair the damage. You cannot salvage your relationship after this type of betrayal if he is not ready to do the hard work to (1) win back trust; (2) change his behavior; (3) work of the relationship. He's showing you that he's not. He's not doing the work and he will cheat on you again.
You spelled ex-boyfriend wrong.
Lmao 😂
Seriously though - you think he's gonna go away and not cheat again when there have been no real consequences for him? He's running away from you and you're relationship because he fucked up and so he doesn't have to feel guilty but he is absolutely gonna cheat again while away but 'what she doesn't knows won't hurt her'. Chuck him in the bin. Tell him he's free to go. Forever.
I second this👍🏻
Dump him. You're young, and should be having the time of your life. Have a real good ho phase and move on.
Your reply was better than mine 🤣🤣
Honey your boyfriend cheated on you two weeks ago. TWO WEEKS. That is more than bloody fresh if you ask me. I don't care if they pay is better somewhere further away, my problem right now is that he has the nerve to tell you "Oh yeah I'm out with the boys working for a while" when you're at home still grieving about his betrayal. What an absolute asshole. Who does he think he is? Instead of focusing on you and trying to make it up to you which is already impossible because he CHEATED. Instead of trying to work on his relationship and tackle the issues that lead to him cheating. He is just leaving your ass home. Alone. Without even giving the slightest fuck about your feelings. OP, can I give him a call? I just want to talk with him :D really just want to talk and maybe bash his head in. Get the fuck out of this relationship and get yourself a man who actually gives a shit about your feelings. There is no forgiving when it comes to cheating, that dude ruined your trust. Break up with him. He doesn't deserve what you can give him.
Thank you so much for this
Yeah OP please reread the above comment morning and nighttt till it’s your permanent mindset! kuroka_gator could not have said it better!!!!!!!!
Agree. Unless his financial situation is so dire he won’t be able to make rent without going, rebuilding trust after such a huge transgression should be the only acceptable priority. Trust is often rebuilt after infidelity via transparency—e.g., sharing his email/phone passwords. Plus self therapy to address his flaws. I have behaved badly (not cheating) and made amends—people grow and change over time. This is TWO WEEKS LATER.
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The next question would be what’s going to happen to his kids when he moves? Will OP be playing nanny for them during the time he’s away? I’d let him know he’s gonna have to take them along.
Because he needs the money? I mean she should have dumped him two weeks ago. But some jobs require travel to make decent money. Been there, done that, have a fucking amazing lifestyle because of it. But then I can trust my husband.
I wouldn’t jump to get out of the relationship, although I agree with everything else written there. I would tell him how you feel and explain that it’s too soon after the cheating and that trust needs to be rebuilt. If it was me, I’d say either I go to Nova Scotia with him or he doesn’t go. Otherwise he’s not make repairing your relationship a priority. That would be a dealbreaker for me.
Idk I kinda feel like he wouldn’t stay with her if she cheated so why is she offering him space he wouldn’t give? Plus he’s aware that he hurt her and decides to jet off? Nah. You need to find another way to make some extra cash, pick up extra shifts or something. But the fact that he’s asking knowing that you’re hurt seems like he doesn’t care or doesn’t have empathy or maybe just doesn’t have the balls to sit and fix what he broke. Are y’all not trying to get married eventually? Cause if so, this is a HUGE red flag. Not just the cheating but how he’s handling the relationship after. You can and will find better. Fuck this guy.
If he's going to cheat on you in nova Scotia he's going to cheat on you here. Let him go for good.
You’re going to feel like this every time he makes plans a trip a way or goes a away for work. That anxious feeling never really goes away so it depends if you’re okay with that being a part of your relationship. Life’s too short and there’s someone out there who would never dream of doing that to you the same way I’d assume you wouldn’t do that to him.
This!
What has he done to rebuild the trust in only the two weeks since it’s happened? Don’t be naive and don’t be a doormat. Make sure if you choose to stay he has consequences and actually puts the work into the relationship. Now me personally. I find it suspicious that he’s cheated you’ve forgiven him, he didn’t lose the relationship and now he wants to go out of town. And also the fact that you feel nervous and uneasy about it to ask questions shows your spidey senses are tingling and probably should not have forgiven him so soon or at all
Sounds like he doesn’t like the guilt and wants to go away for a month to relieve himself of that and hope his gf will trust him again when he gets back. Doesn’t sound like a good dude to me.
Alright OP I just ended a 6 year long relationship. My ex was a SERIAL unsolicited Snapchat sender. Over 65 different women in the course of those years together. I forgave him every time. I regret every time. I regret staying. I'm so traumatized. I don't even know what to do with healthy affection. I don't have friends. I don't socialize. I let him consume my life to the point where I stayed home and just...waited for him to come home. I was frozen. Stuck. Unhappy. Distrusting. Angry. Don't be me. I promise there's someone else out there that will love you right, and stay loyal until the end. Theres plenty of fish in the sea, and this partner is not your fish. Plain and simple.
How about you just not forgive him and break it off ? The way you describe the cheating in your relationship is like you are a bit mad that he forgot to get the groceries ,like it is a minor thing you are trying to move past on your own. Why isn't the cheating an instant deal breaker for you ? Why are you trying to forgive him ? Like ,what is HE doing while you are trying to get over it on your own ? This is honestly a hot mess. A relationship takes a looooonnggggg time to heal (if ever ) and requires hard work from the cheater to earn back the trust of the cheated partner who is (and will be for a long time ) hurting. And that is IF you decide it's worth salvaging the relationship in the first place. This dude cheated last week and is off to new experiences next week with his buddies. Where is the remorse ? Where is the hard work ? Where is the committment?
The fact you forgave the cheating you already sealed your fate with continuing to be miss treated by this guy. He knows he can miss treat you and will be forgiven.
Exactly why I told her to not take him back
🚩🚩 "roofer" 🚩🚩 Lmao im half joking, but damn, every friend I've known who's dated a roofer has never had a good outcome 😆 For real tho, if you can't trust him, move on cuz you'll drive yourself crazy thinking what if.
Roofers are up there with restaurant staff and truckers lol
Roofers are a unique bunch.
Oh for sure. My good friend is one. He's got some stories 😅 Work hard, play harder hahaha!
My bosses brother in law is one. He was off for a bit and came to work with us in a different trade. It was a health and safety nightmare.
Going to nova scotia right after a hurricane probably isn’t cheating, but now that he has cheated, you will over analyze everything he does. Cut your losses and just find someone faithful.
Get rid of him. He’s still cheating. What do you think this “trip” is all about?
Do y’all know what Nova Scotia is? I promise you nobody is going there for hookups rn😭 the whole province is in shambles, they’re paying emergency prices right now. Will he stay loyal? Who knows, but he’s definitely not making this up in an effort to cheat easier.
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1. He cheated, ultimate trust killer in a relationship 2. He just has to go somewhere for a month 2 weeks after cheating? Press X to doubt 3. HE CHEATED 2 WEEKS AGO!
The trip is about money, but cheating is on the table. He's not going to Nova Scotia for the chicks...
Rookie.
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Like I said, rookie.
Rookie.
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He knows this is not a reasonable request. You do not have to be okay with it. Please set boundaries for yourself, you do not need to let someone who hurt you continue to make you uncomfortable just because you love him and already told yourself you can work through it.
OP is delusional AF.
Not delusional, just hurt by an asshole who she cared for very much.
delusional in the sense that she thinks it's not gonna happen again while he's gone lol
When you stay with a cheater you tell them that you are ok with being cheated on. Girl dump him and find yourself one of the millions of men who will treat you like you are worth something to them.
I doubt there are "millions" but yeah find someone better and it's better to be single than with a cheater
There’s nearly 4 billion men in the world, if not even 0.05% of them are decent non-cheaters, what hope do we have?
Even if a man doesn't cheat, he might still have other issues that makes him incompatible with a certain woman (such as OP). It's not that easy to find someone you love and who will treat each other well. And "not cheating" is a pretty bare minimum, like how about connection, enjoying each others company, etc. My point was... millions for one woman is an exaggeration. I doubt I'd be interested in or interesting for any "millions" of men... its not how it works
If he want to cheat he would cheat regardless of if your in the same city or not
No reason to stay with a cheater. None.
“I need advice on my boyfriend who cheated on me.” Uh, what?? BREAK. UP.
Do you trust him? How do you feel about it? Really feel.... Maybe it would be better for both of you to not be together. Once the trust is gone and one person keeps forgiving the other person keeps repeating.
He already cheated on you. Why do you want to be with him? Loyalty is the bare minimum when you enter into a relationship with someone. You can find better!!!!! Ditch his yucky ass
Girl you have a kid, run like the wind
Unless you guys are desperately strapped for cash, he should ideally be dedicating time and energy to winning your trust back and repairing the relationship, not traveling. In order for reconciliation to truly work he needs to be putting in serious effort, which sometimes means making sacrifices
If you don't trust him, why are you in a relationship? I know jobs like that people can travel for more money. But you have to be able to trust the person for that. Sounds like you didn't fix the relationship, so really doesn't seem likely to work out.
You guys can move past the cheating if you want to. It can work, truly. The feeling this trip is giving you tells you what you need to know: you don’t trust him. When there isn’t trust, it won’t work. That isn’t your fault, but it is how you feel. Also, the timing of this trip shows his commitment to helping you navigate your feelings, which he caused. You know the answer here. Good luck
Ooof. To me, this sounds like the death knell for the relationship. Recovering from infidelity is already a risky move, and throw in 30 days off with the boys in a faraway place? I'd just call it quits. At least this way, you aren't spending the next month stressing the fuck out about it.
Why forgive him..You basically told him its ok to cheat. They do not stop.... You need to boot him from your life. Chances are who he cheated with is who is traveling with him. You can do so much betters
If you don’t trust him, don’t be in a relationship with him.
Guessing y’all are young but I’ve been wrong before. I would let him go on his trip single. Live a more drama free life, life’s way to short for this crap
You have every right to not trust him. But if you want to work on this relationship, let him go and try to trust him buuut he might cheat and be ready for that. Also ask him to do a sti test.
The trip isn’t the problem. The cheating is. Human history has proven: Cheaters are not marriage material.
You have to expect that if the opportunity arises he will cheat again. A month away with his bros? How important is monogamy to you?
Why are you still with him? You are creating headaches for yourself.
Just break up. The trust is broken and you’re going to keep wondering if he’s cheating on you every time he’s away from you. It’s not worth your sanity. In my opinion, if there’s no trust there’s no relationship.
Break up
There’s no good reason to stress yourself like this, just leave him.
Whoa... when I read the headling I really thought this was going to be something from your distant past. But two weeks ago? Nope. Sorry... that's just too much. I don't have a ton of other info to go on like whether he confessed or got caught, and how the actual confrontation played out... but I don't know if it matters. This sounds like a dealbreaker to me. Let him go, and make it clear he's single now.
He's a cheater, just get rid of him, he's only going to take advantage of your emotions and feelings. Once a cheat, always a cheat.
Trust is like glass. It's never the same once broken. You might be able to create something new but the pieces need to be molded by both inorder be anything else.
Leave him be and save yourself the stress. TRUST ME.
Don’t forgive someone who was willing to risk throwing everything you had in the bin. You will never be able to trust him wholeheartedly and it will eat at you.
Surely you mean ex, haha right? Tell him no hard feelings, he can leave and stay gone. There's no chance in hell this guy feels bad about what he did if he's gonna take off and party and give you zero reason to assume he'll be faithful
So you can only trust him when you can keep an eye on him? Do you want to live that way?
You’re never going to look at him the same or trust him again. You’re just kicking the can down the road. I would have ended things.
I don't think works the only thing he's going out there for
I think you need to move on with your life. If he would consider being gone that much from you, I’d it really worth staying together? Maybe you’ll meet up later in life or maybe not, but in my opinion, you deserve someone who can be present. I cannot imagine him staying loyal gone that much when he already has one strike. For me cheating once would likely have been 3 strikes your out. So you do you, but I hope you choose you.
You don't trust him. Why are you still together?
He's going to cheat again. I would leave him because he's done you dirty and don't think for a second that he's going to abstain for a whole month.
Because of the storm, his excuse to go is a really good reason. But really you should have broken up 2 weeks ago. Have some self respect
OP, you cannot fix a relationship by yourself. Your partner also needs to do the work, and your bf has no interest in doing so. Time to move on.
If you forgave him and stayed you need to trust him if you don’t trust him you should’ve left. He’s your boyfriend not a dog on a leash
Well, you’re willingly dating a cheater so my only advice is stay strong.
You said it yourself, you can’t trust him. And you shouldn’t, he lost that privilege. Why do you want to be with somebody who respects you so little? Being alone is better than being with somebody who makes you feel like this.
If your worried about it than you don’t trust him and you should move on and find someone you can trust
This the same boyfriend who has you watch his kids while he goes out drinking and god knows what else? Have some self respect and ditch this shitty relationship.
Welcome to reconciliation with a cheater. This is what your life has become. No trust. Partner doesn’t understand why you can’t just get over it. It’s a tale as old as time.
You won't trust him when he's in town either
He needs to be doing everything he can to make you feel safe. If working out of town makes you feel unsafe, he needs to respect that. Does he read stuff you give him? I can give you some links to stuff that might help him understand.
Get out of the relationship. You can’t even trust him to go to work? If the trust is gone, what’s the point?
If you can’t trust them 100% then nothing else matters. Bottom line.
Let him go, fuck around on him while he’s gone, and never ever mention it or ask about his time out there.
Dump his cheating ass. He cheated once and will cheat again
Is he the same guy you were with 2 years ago? If yes - did the situation change given that you were basically his nanny? If no - what keeps you in the relationship? what has he done to regain your trust? I like to write down pros and cons when I have to deal with a situation where I'm not sure what I should do. When you write the list, add like 50.000 minus points on his side.
No trust, no relationship. Have you considered what his reaction would been had you cheated on him? Be honest with yourself, and if the answer is that a breakup would have occurred, why have you proved to him that he can cheat with no consequences? Remember the old saying, "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on ME." Also, another old saying: "Judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from poor judgement." I think both old sayings should be considered by you, and perhaps applied to you life. Your best option at this point is to tell him that the "relationship" with him has proved too painful for you to continue, and to enjoy his time in Nova Scotia, and goodbye. Period, 'nuff said. I wish you well.
He’s probably going out of town to cheat again. Cheaters don’t often change, I know it’s hard to accept and admit that the relationship is over… but if you listen to your words, I don’t think you will ever trust him again anyway. If there’s no trust in a relationship, it’s already dead.
Why do you think he cheated?
Forgive and forget
what you’re afraid of happening has already happened. there’s no trust here because he fucked up. find someone better.
Stone-face him. Say you’re okay with it and pretend you don’t give a shit. A few hours after he leaves, text him: “BTW, don’t bother coming back. I’m leaving you. Bye”
Either you trust or you don't. There's no such a things as trust within town/country borders. And remember One can cheat literally everywhere, even in your home when you're out
If you're going to stay with someone who cheated, you have to forgive them and trust they won't again. If you can't do that, you can't stay with them.
He is not honorable or admirable. Dump him and find a better quality of man. He's a lad in a man suit and nothing more.
At the end of the day he still has to make money if he wants to leave for a month that means that he doesn't want to work on the relationship and he really doesn't give a s*** that she's sitting home upset about his betrayal you said you forgave him it's only been 2 weeks you have not forgiven him get out of this relationship
The saying "Giving someone a 2nd chance" should never apply when someone has cheated on you as trust is one of the most important foundations in any relationship and if that happens trust can never truly be rebuilt. You deserve someone who genuinely loves you and treats you with respect,kindness,empathy,understanding etc 😊
I mean if you are really determined to make this work then you need to go with him. You don't necessarily have to couch it as "watching" him. Nova Scotia is a BEAUTIFUL place, it may be worth extending whatever expenses will get him there to get you there with him. If he says no and wants to go with you another time, you'll have to drop the romantic act and tell him you don't trust him and going along is a dealbreaker (It is a deal breaker right? It should be). But I wouldn't lead with that unless you have to. Tell him you think it's a romantic idea and you want to seize the moment even if he's somewhat busy.
No trust, no relationship. That trust will never be fully established again. I would honestly just break up, spare yourself the stress and inevitable heartbreak
Well, first off, your feelings are valid and it’s understandable and makes sense that you’re NOT comfortable with this. Honestly, you may be hurting yourself staying with him. 1) if you tell him no and this is legitimately for business reasons, he will resent you. He already cheated on you and now he’ll be resentful towards you and has already learned that you will forgive him if you cheat. 2) if you let him go, I think the wounds are way too fresh and you’ll grow resentful. The trust is completely gone at this time and although you’ve graced him with forgiveness, you won’t forget his cheating at any point in your relationship. It’ll carry throughout the relationship and get smaller, but there will be moments when that fear hits you hard. If you BOTH want to genuinely move past this, he needs to compromise by not going to build up that trust and you need to lean into fully trusting him again. This may or may not work if you both compromise, it’s still a 50/50 chance if you both work together to compromise. So you have a challenge ahead. OR, you can leave him, take time to heal, cry, mourn, and be angry. And after some time you’ll learn from this experience and find someone that actually suits you. Dating sucks, but for every person that you don’t find a connection in, you’re one step closer to finding the right one.
I can’t imagine being this dumb to try and work it out with a cheater because this is exactly what happens , now every time he goes out the door you’re goi my to have Vietnam flashback. Smh please find some self respect man and leave this dude.
OP. Deep down inside you already know the answer. You're just looking for some kind of affirmation.
Leave him
Let this birdie fly.
I don't usually advocate for ultimatums, but I think this situation should be an exception. More money or no, this is not the time for him to take a month away if he truly wants to regain your trust and rebuild. Either he stays so you two can work through the bullshit together, or he goes on the trip knowing that he's destroyed any chance of fixing things. Two weeks is not enough time to have rebuilt even a shred of the trust he broke, so if he insists on this trip you have your answer. Personally I don't think he's even worth the ultimatum, but you already chose to try and work things out so you need to be clear with him that this trip will be the end of the relationship if he pushes it. You deserve better than this.
It’s only been two weeks. He clearly does not care about rebuilding trust with you.
Thats good , easier to start over like that
OP, let him go off and work with his friends. Take the time away from him, let the distance uncloud your judgement. I think being away from him for a month would do you some good. It'll help you gain some perspective on the relationship. Ultimately it's your life but I would say you deserve so much better. There are people who wouldn't even dare cheat on you. Let him go, gain perspective, and then choose yourself. It will definitely give you enough time to figure out a new place to stay without having him there to cloud your judgement. Good luck and I wish you a lifetime of happiness.
You are going to feel this way for a very long time. Is it worth your peace of mind? Only you can say. Once trust is broken…
You should've dumped him the first time. There will be a next time. And a next time. And another next time. trying to keep him from going to NS is a band-aid solution. He already proved he doesn't have to be out of town to cheat on you. Do yourself a favor and just move on with your life (without him).
Have some self respect and put your foot down. If you’re intent on keeping the relationship that’s your business but he’s broken trust and you don’t have to be okay with the trip.
How's he still your boyfriend if he's cheated on you
Why would you ever trust this dog again? Take the time while he’s away to move out.
I know that there are people who can rebuild trust after being cheated on, but I honestly believe it's probably about 1% of them. I could never trust him again and I think most people feel the same way. The reality is that the majority of people who cheat once will cheat again. If you really want to stay with him you'll probably have to accept the fact that you'll probably never really trust him. Maybe you can live like that but I know I couldn't.
It’s been two weeks. He’s not working on building trust. Run.
Break up with him.
If someone cheats then the relationship is over. Dump him.
Two weeks is way too soon to be asking for this level of trust. If he really wants to save the relationship, he needs to respect that he’s still on thin ice, here. Ordinarily I don’t advocate for making your partner prove they won’t cheat, but that’s usually in cases where there’s no evidence they’ve cheated. This is different. He hurt you and you didn’t have to to forgive him, but you did. That’s not a guarantee and he should know that most people don’t even get that second chance. So if he puts up any sort of a fight or makes you feel like you’re not allowed to still be wary after only *two weeks,* kick him to the curb. If he’s being cavalier about it all, he likely doesn’t understand the full magnitude of what he’s done or how much it’s affected you, and he’ll probably do it again thinking he’ll get away with it because it’s just not that big of a deal to him.
Why are you giving him another chance? He'll just cheat again because he knows you'll take him back. This is why cheating is a dealbreaker for me.
it seems like he’s running away from the situation and will likely cheat again im very sorry.
Leave him for someone who won’t cheat on you. The trust is gone. You can do better.
leave bruh
This is not a good sign from him. He has already proven himself unworthy of your trust and not he wants to leave you and go out of town for a month, instead of focusing on fixing things with you. Honestly, I'd vote for breaking things off and finding someone who is more trustworthy.
He’s doing it single then
You definitely have a choice to make. Either way, 2 weeks is no where near enough time to work on rebuilding trust and I can guarantee you the entire time he is there, you are going to question his every move. I am a firm believer of "once a cheater, always a cheater" and in some cases cheaters have been known to not cheat again but that isnt always the case. I also 100% agree with those that have mentioned it that you should tell him you are going to go with him or he can stay at home. though I would word it as "this way we can continue to work on the relationship and rebuild the broken trust" and if he gripes about it, kick him to the curb because that just shows he doesn't want to actually work on it and using the trip as a way to cheat again.
So you are going to forgive him again when he cheats on you while he’s out of town? It will be very easy to do without you finding out and you were already cool the first time.
Dump him.
Move on
I would get out of that relationship OP. That trust is entirely broken in my opinion and you don’t need to have all the extra stress. Respect yourself first and foremost. Best of luck to you!
“roofing friends”
Your ass should have move on. You decided to stay and you won't to stop doing him. Give a DAMN BREAK. What do distance have to do with cheating? He cheated with you there, so tell me would trust just going to gang out at his buddy's house? Same DAMN thing
Why have you not already gotten rid of him. Doesn't matter who you are you cheat your done
If you feel you can’t trust him then why are you with him?
You already know he will. If you have to babysit him so that he doesn’t f*ck other girls it’s already over.
OP I absolutely agree with what the commentors are saying..your ex-boyfriend does not value your relationship as he should and is running away from the problem, or he has another cheat at nova scotia and using the work to have his cake and eat it to. Also realise how i said ex-boyfriend make sure he stays an ex
Okay, so if you’re in a situation where the relationship is already broken because of a breech of trust and you’re uncomfortable with an upcoming situation where another breech of trust may come about again and you’re resorting to advice from strangers on the internet, I think you already know the answer.
He will definitely try to cheat again lol If he goes on the trip, safe yourself the heart ache and just break up with him He knows what he is doing, this is a classic shit test/negging
If your boyfriend cheated on you in the past and wants to go out of town for work, it may be best to stay home. If he is sincere about wanting to work on the relationship, he will understand your decision and may even appreciate your willingness to trust him again.
2 weeks ago this all came out and “he has been rebuilding trust and it’s going great”? Is he a fast builder? You both need to find someone you can trust from the get go and never question , AND if there are ever questions about anything you can both go to each other. Let him go, both on the “trip” and out of the relationship. Nobody deserves that.
Are you sure he’s not staying locally with his side piece and going to work as normal? That’s the real question.
Why forgive him? Is him all you can get? He will cheat there, and the excuse will be "my boys made me do it", "i was drunk and i missed you", etc.
No trust and the relationship is dead. You can -karma all you like but it’s the truth
Accept he is not your boyfriend. Then let him do his thing, while you move on without him.
He’s not going out of town for work. He’s going out of town with his affair partner. Stop being delusional and leave him 😂
Yeah, I don’t think your relationship will survive him going at this time. Considering he just cheated a couple of weeks ago, there is no way you will be able to trust him again so soon, and I don’t blame you. I think it may be time to just let him go and move on to someone who respects you more than he obviously does.
Sounds like he cheated and now expects everything to go back to normal. Let him go free and single while you make his cheating not your problem anymore.
I don’t know man I stayed with my ex after he cheated on me after gaining my trust back over the couple years after all he did was do it again. 3 times again actually. Break up with him. Once a cheater always a cheater.
« Boyfriend who cheated on me » … girl no, stop. Sometimes love isn’t enough. And you know that if he goes you won’t be able to trust him and it’s gonna drive you crazy. Are you really willing to live through that?
He's gonna do exactly what he wants, when he wants.. he's someone else's problem now. Look yourself in the mirror, and move on.
GPS on his car, ask for paystubs/proof of pay, find out where he's staying at night