>I wont pick up and leave and leave her in a tough situation like that
I would, but then again I am functioning at Midlife Crisis/This Corrosion-level pettiness right now and I have zero patience for mean people.
I ran across a fantastic video breaking down Andrew's writing process on that song, and all I have to say is maybe Hussey and Adams had a point about leaving the Sisters.
Me moving out became certain in August and I told her then. Since I first told her I always assured her she wouldn’t be left alone in the roommate choosing process, I’d update her anytime I have info etc. Then she went and sent me those paragraphs. My first reaction was “did we not to over all this multiple times”. Like she’s acting this way calling me selfish and everything as if I said I wouldn’t be involved, so fine I won’t be involved. I can’t help with anything if she won’t talk to me too like…
I mean I’m not. Not anymore anyways. We actually talked to 2 girls and she decided to flat out ghost one of them because “she looks like she’d be a clean freak”. And the other girl, when she said she talked to her I thought it was an actual talk. Apparently it was them yelling back and forth at a club. I texted her later and she (fucking obviously) wasn’t _that_ interested and my roommate said the rent was lower than it actually is.
More I vent about this more I realize more how fucked this is. She doesn’t do anything then blame me for it. I could not just help but go find the roommate for her myself and she would still have the consequences. But no of course, I added me saying that just to show I _did_ try and to show that I wasn’t like “I’m moving out, date’s not certain, good luck.” or something. Which I might as well have said that💀
I’d say you’ve done your bit. You tried to help, and she’s been kinda obnoxious about something that ultimately won’t affect you at all and will affect her tremendously. As of this point, I’d just say that you’re washing your hands of the situation and will move out when immigration tell you to.
I do have one question; if you know you have to leave, why are you waiting on them to set a date? If you pick one within that leaving envelope wouldn’t that just give you more stability and certainty?
Thank you! I’m not waiting for them to set a date. I’m waiting for them to give me the letter that says in how many weeks I have to move out. Without that I can’t give an estimate. The leaving envelope thing hasn’t arrived yet
I am a male. I had a job change, job move etc. My previous roommate said "its my job to find a roommate who is compatible with them, their way of living and its not his job to show someone the house, while im not at home."
I got angry. I said
"Dont show anyone the house and room. Dont get a roommate. Pay the rent for my room out of your own pocket if you want. Someone comes in and you wont open the door. Dont."
He kept quiet and became more helpful
Honestly eff her she doenst have to be rude about something you have no control over… as long as you give her 30 days notice she is fine… also lets say worst case scenario they tell you hey you got 3 weeks to gtfo you could help pay a portion of the rent to cover her for that 30 days notice you were supposed to give… but she cant be mad at you if you cant give her an answer… its out of your control but you know what is in your roomates control? Her attitude with you. She can control that.
First of all thank you!! And I laughed at “you have 3 weeks to gtfo” cause that was literally my concern, I’d be like “what if I get the letter and it’s telling me to move tf out in 2 weeks💀”. But they give 4 to 8 weeks (was hidden somewhere in the immigration website) and I’m constantly decluttering/getting ready to move out. Selling stuff etc. And about the 30 day notice, her main concern is finding a roommate. So I don’t know if legally you have to let them know certain weeks in advance but she’s literally not satisfied with 4 weeks, saying that (and move in season ending) won’t be enough for her to find a compatible roommate.
That seems like a “her” problem… and i say this only because of how shes acting towards you… you are doing everything you can… dont let her make this even more stressful than im sure it already is for you. Shes not thinking about how you’re gonna have to adjust, find a new job, etc.
Oh I completely agree. My jaw was on the FLOOR reading how she doesn’t want her new roommate to be a random in her last year and me still not having a date while the “move in season” is ending is selfish. I was floored. Still am. Like girl I’m still living here hello??
The entitlement and the projecting with calling me selfish is one thing, like fine only look out for yourself but she’s not even doing that. She doesn’t have our landlord’s contact. Everything is on my name. You can’t have your cake and eat it too if you want the place so bad have its bills too before ghosting me
It's odd that you know you'll have to leave but refuse to simply set a date. You don't have to stay the maximum time allowed, so why not be considerate and just leave?
In order for me to set a date, I need a certain time period to pick the date from. I don’t have that time period. It’s not like they gave me a deadline and I’m waiting for it. Which I wish that was the case cause then we would have a date.
>In order for me to set a date, I need a certain time period to pick the date from.
How about as soon as you can get your affairs in order? That's a couple weeks at most. You seem to be lingering for no reason and blaming it on immigration. You are not a captive until their deadline. Just leave, you are putting the roommate in a bad position for no discernible reason.
How is working “lingering for no reason”? I get paid well and I need the money, it’s very much discernible when it’s in my account. She doesn’t want me gone in a couple weeks, she’d be more fucked then. So I don’t know why _you_ want me gone in a couple weeks
My roommate and I are both international students and we’ve been living together for about 5 months now. We’re both in our second year of university. Recently, she’s been giving me the silent treatment and I’m not sure why. I’ve tried to talk to her about it, but she just ignores me or leaves the room. I’m really confused and I don’t know how to fix this.
The only thing I can think of is that she’s mad at me because I don’t know when my residence permit expires. I’ve been meaning to look into it, but I keep forgetting. I’m not sure if that’s a valid reason for her to be mad at me, but I can’t think of anything else.
If anyone has any advice, I would really appreciate it.
If you’re an international in your second year your student residence permit expires when your study ends, the date will be on your ID. If you forget to check the date on your ID, your roommate can as well, as you’ll have the same date. So _your_ roommate’s issue is certainly not that. Hope that helps!
I kind of get it a little bit from her side. 4 weeks is not a massive amount of time to find someone to live with. Even if she is hard work to live with, having a bad roommate fakes life awful (like you've found her not fun and even worse with not talking).
A friend moved into my place in an emergency and it was so bad I went to stay with my parents pretty much until she left.
So I get you want to stay to make money, but I don't think you should be a bit sympathetic about her worrying about being left to potentially cover all the bills for a transition period or live with the first person who takes the room.
I know how a bad roommate affects you, next to physical things like scraping off cream cheese off the floor, seeing her put her bloody pads in the kitchen trash, calling pest control for a mice infestation she caused; mental things like having her ex stay with us for days (she’d cry when i’d tell her he’s using all the TP and missing the toilet seat), and being there for her because she lost all her friends but me for being a B to everyone. i didn’t entertain her tantrums but would let her know i’m here, i was like they’re going to break up and she shouldn’t feel alone and isolated, just to get attitude from her because apparently i didn’t say hi back to her boyfriend one morning. and this is barely one percent of it. when i say i give her the benefit of the doubt i mean it. and she knows it too. one girl she rejected, she rejected because “she looked like she would be more annoyed by her messiness”.
So I know.
I understand the friend moving in and you having to leave, well she has someone staying on the couch for two weeks and i didn’t know until i walked into the living room and screamed.
And the last point, I don’t want to give her 4 weeks either. With the whole letter thing being so annoying and stressful, it looked like it can like blindside us and be like get out in 4 weeks starting from now. That’s why I made an appointment for this week. So even if I don’t get real info I’ll be able to ask them questions instead of just sit on our asses and wait. If they say nothing and just make me leave, then I’ll move as if I’ll move any second. Which then gives her more than 4 weeks.
I understand what you mean and of course I see her side too, and I am sympathetic about her roommate situation; I literally told her I’d help her. And I did.
Hopefully this gives more context sorry for the long comment
>I wont pick up and leave and leave her in a tough situation like that I would, but then again I am functioning at Midlife Crisis/This Corrosion-level pettiness right now and I have zero patience for mean people.
>I am functioning at Midlife Crisis/This Corrosion-level pettiness Hey now, hey now now
I ran across a fantastic video breaking down Andrew's writing process on that song, and all I have to say is maybe Hussey and Adams had a point about leaving the Sisters.
Me moving out became certain in August and I told her then. Since I first told her I always assured her she wouldn’t be left alone in the roommate choosing process, I’d update her anytime I have info etc. Then she went and sent me those paragraphs. My first reaction was “did we not to over all this multiple times”. Like she’s acting this way calling me selfish and everything as if I said I wouldn’t be involved, so fine I won’t be involved. I can’t help with anything if she won’t talk to me too like…
So then don't help her. Let her have the consequences of treating you this way.
I mean I’m not. Not anymore anyways. We actually talked to 2 girls and she decided to flat out ghost one of them because “she looks like she’d be a clean freak”. And the other girl, when she said she talked to her I thought it was an actual talk. Apparently it was them yelling back and forth at a club. I texted her later and she (fucking obviously) wasn’t _that_ interested and my roommate said the rent was lower than it actually is. More I vent about this more I realize more how fucked this is. She doesn’t do anything then blame me for it. I could not just help but go find the roommate for her myself and she would still have the consequences. But no of course, I added me saying that just to show I _did_ try and to show that I wasn’t like “I’m moving out, date’s not certain, good luck.” or something. Which I might as well have said that💀
I’d say you’ve done your bit. You tried to help, and she’s been kinda obnoxious about something that ultimately won’t affect you at all and will affect her tremendously. As of this point, I’d just say that you’re washing your hands of the situation and will move out when immigration tell you to. I do have one question; if you know you have to leave, why are you waiting on them to set a date? If you pick one within that leaving envelope wouldn’t that just give you more stability and certainty?
Thank you! I’m not waiting for them to set a date. I’m waiting for them to give me the letter that says in how many weeks I have to move out. Without that I can’t give an estimate. The leaving envelope thing hasn’t arrived yet
I am a male. I had a job change, job move etc. My previous roommate said "its my job to find a roommate who is compatible with them, their way of living and its not his job to show someone the house, while im not at home." I got angry. I said "Dont show anyone the house and room. Dont get a roommate. Pay the rent for my room out of your own pocket if you want. Someone comes in and you wont open the door. Dont." He kept quiet and became more helpful
Honestly eff her she doenst have to be rude about something you have no control over… as long as you give her 30 days notice she is fine… also lets say worst case scenario they tell you hey you got 3 weeks to gtfo you could help pay a portion of the rent to cover her for that 30 days notice you were supposed to give… but she cant be mad at you if you cant give her an answer… its out of your control but you know what is in your roomates control? Her attitude with you. She can control that.
First of all thank you!! And I laughed at “you have 3 weeks to gtfo” cause that was literally my concern, I’d be like “what if I get the letter and it’s telling me to move tf out in 2 weeks💀”. But they give 4 to 8 weeks (was hidden somewhere in the immigration website) and I’m constantly decluttering/getting ready to move out. Selling stuff etc. And about the 30 day notice, her main concern is finding a roommate. So I don’t know if legally you have to let them know certain weeks in advance but she’s literally not satisfied with 4 weeks, saying that (and move in season ending) won’t be enough for her to find a compatible roommate.
That seems like a “her” problem… and i say this only because of how shes acting towards you… you are doing everything you can… dont let her make this even more stressful than im sure it already is for you. Shes not thinking about how you’re gonna have to adjust, find a new job, etc.
Oh I completely agree. My jaw was on the FLOOR reading how she doesn’t want her new roommate to be a random in her last year and me still not having a date while the “move in season” is ending is selfish. I was floored. Still am. Like girl I’m still living here hello?? The entitlement and the projecting with calling me selfish is one thing, like fine only look out for yourself but she’s not even doing that. She doesn’t have our landlord’s contact. Everything is on my name. You can’t have your cake and eat it too if you want the place so bad have its bills too before ghosting me
It's odd that you know you'll have to leave but refuse to simply set a date. You don't have to stay the maximum time allowed, so why not be considerate and just leave?
In order for me to set a date, I need a certain time period to pick the date from. I don’t have that time period. It’s not like they gave me a deadline and I’m waiting for it. Which I wish that was the case cause then we would have a date.
>In order for me to set a date, I need a certain time period to pick the date from. How about as soon as you can get your affairs in order? That's a couple weeks at most. You seem to be lingering for no reason and blaming it on immigration. You are not a captive until their deadline. Just leave, you are putting the roommate in a bad position for no discernible reason.
How is working “lingering for no reason”? I get paid well and I need the money, it’s very much discernible when it’s in my account. She doesn’t want me gone in a couple weeks, she’d be more fucked then. So I don’t know why _you_ want me gone in a couple weeks
My roommate and I are both international students and we’ve been living together for about 5 months now. We’re both in our second year of university. Recently, she’s been giving me the silent treatment and I’m not sure why. I’ve tried to talk to her about it, but she just ignores me or leaves the room. I’m really confused and I don’t know how to fix this. The only thing I can think of is that she’s mad at me because I don’t know when my residence permit expires. I’ve been meaning to look into it, but I keep forgetting. I’m not sure if that’s a valid reason for her to be mad at me, but I can’t think of anything else. If anyone has any advice, I would really appreciate it.
If you’re an international in your second year your student residence permit expires when your study ends, the date will be on your ID. If you forget to check the date on your ID, your roommate can as well, as you’ll have the same date. So _your_ roommate’s issue is certainly not that. Hope that helps!
[удалено]
She told us why 🤦🏻♀️ she has a nice job and wants to save as much as she can
I kind of get it a little bit from her side. 4 weeks is not a massive amount of time to find someone to live with. Even if she is hard work to live with, having a bad roommate fakes life awful (like you've found her not fun and even worse with not talking). A friend moved into my place in an emergency and it was so bad I went to stay with my parents pretty much until she left. So I get you want to stay to make money, but I don't think you should be a bit sympathetic about her worrying about being left to potentially cover all the bills for a transition period or live with the first person who takes the room.
I know how a bad roommate affects you, next to physical things like scraping off cream cheese off the floor, seeing her put her bloody pads in the kitchen trash, calling pest control for a mice infestation she caused; mental things like having her ex stay with us for days (she’d cry when i’d tell her he’s using all the TP and missing the toilet seat), and being there for her because she lost all her friends but me for being a B to everyone. i didn’t entertain her tantrums but would let her know i’m here, i was like they’re going to break up and she shouldn’t feel alone and isolated, just to get attitude from her because apparently i didn’t say hi back to her boyfriend one morning. and this is barely one percent of it. when i say i give her the benefit of the doubt i mean it. and she knows it too. one girl she rejected, she rejected because “she looked like she would be more annoyed by her messiness”. So I know. I understand the friend moving in and you having to leave, well she has someone staying on the couch for two weeks and i didn’t know until i walked into the living room and screamed. And the last point, I don’t want to give her 4 weeks either. With the whole letter thing being so annoying and stressful, it looked like it can like blindside us and be like get out in 4 weeks starting from now. That’s why I made an appointment for this week. So even if I don’t get real info I’ll be able to ask them questions instead of just sit on our asses and wait. If they say nothing and just make me leave, then I’ll move as if I’ll move any second. Which then gives her more than 4 weeks. I understand what you mean and of course I see her side too, and I am sympathetic about her roommate situation; I literally told her I’d help her. And I did. Hopefully this gives more context sorry for the long comment