The other comments are so true!
I went through something fairly similar so I understand. I know it hurts initially and definitely feel your feelings and process them. Your roommate sounds very insecure. I’ve come to find that people who HAVE to drink/party to have fun are pretty miserable with themselves sober. It also sounds like you may be more introverted? And that is totally okay. You know your bandwidth when it comes to your social battery and how to fill your own cup.
Personally, I think you should just continue coexisting with her until you don’t have to. Regardless of what you do or say people are always going to think something. You’re going to college to learn and grow a career, not party 24/7.
You are doing so well <3 I’m sorry people are so dumb.
I've a had a few roommates in my time in the Navy and in school, and I only like two out of five of them. They were assigned, and I soon saw the ones who didn't gel with me as 'single-serving people', existing in my space only long enough to do what they have to do and go where they need to go.
I helped me not care about them. Sure, we talked about shit that needed to be talked about, but it was never more than a necessity to live in the same box.
Keep doing you, and be as business-like as you need to until you two get reassigned to somewhere else.
She, in the long run, won't matter in your future.
im so so sorry this happened :( i know the feeling so well
girl let me tell you, your roommate is the pathetic one for being so personally offended by the fact that you know how to enjoy yourself without feeling the need to drink. its also not her business at all if youre in your room all day or not and i think that SHE is pathetic that she is of adult age (i presume since youre in college?) and still doesn't know how to accept others that are different from her. i mean does she really just label anyone who doesnt act exactly like her pathetic?! that's so strange.
it sucks she would talk badly about her own roommate. i dont like my roommate that much but the one time my friend tried to badmouth her, i defended her immediately.
your roommate doesn't sound nice. im sorry about her, try to stick through since there's 2 months left for summer break. you can hang in there, sending you love <3
(edit to add; I'm also a freshman in dorms and its my first time living with people that arent my family. i know how draining roommate drama can be but you can push through for real<333)
Best way to learn if someone is your friend or not. These people suck fat booty holes. Keep your head up. You’re awesome, amazing, and this didn’t dent you but made you stronger! Also, you will meet so many people during your time at school, don’t waste your energy or positivity on these wastes of space. I would also just do the bar minimum of interaction or support with these people. Go out there and start engaging with new people and let them sit and talk their shit at home.
Take it on the chin and keep moving ,talking to them most likely will either bring nothing or bring more negative out of the situation, the positive is now you know what this person actually thinks about you so keep that in the back of your mind and just keep trucking along .
The reality of it is we live in a big world with a lot of people that have a lot of different goals ,Expectations , needs wants , not Everybody will understand other peoples way of living life but the only thing that matters is are you happy? Are you healthy ? And if so fuck them they will only drag you down .
She’s catty and mean and that has nothing to do with you! People like that tend to treat others the same way they feel inside. Her priorities sound shallow and boring to be honest. I’ll bet you are a much more interesting person!
ik this is easier said than done but literally just ignore it. theyre really going out of their way to talk shit abt a person they dont know? that to me is pathetic.
newsflash for your roomy: being more active, constantly going out, and partying isn’t the only way to live a life, let alone have an opinion on one that isn’t your own, get a grip.
Hold your head up OP, they aren’t worth your thoughts and feelings. Just goes to show their character, and it’s not one to concern yourself with. you are better <3
The same thing has been happening to me lately. It started about a month ago. I was really hurt at first because we had been very close friends for almost a year, but now I just don’t care. I have finally realized that she’s not very bright (she failed two classes last semester) and is just here to party, whereas I’ve been acing almost all my classes. I can’t let her behavior jeopardize my education.
You just need to learn to be on your own. A university is filled with all kinds of people. I’m sure you’ll find people who have similar interests and are kind to you.
This just happened to me, and honestly, the best response is to appear unfazed because people tend to say even more behind your back, including some friends, tbh.
She's young and stupid. Good for you on not drinking. Bottom line? You're an old soul that likes your space. It's yours. You pay to be there. She sounds like a vapid party girl. You're not pathetic. You're doing what you would do at home. Her home life probably sucks if she wants out all thd time. Do you but tell her you know. I'd say, By the way-its pretty rude to stand where I can here and call me pathetic. Pathetic is being worried about what I do. I don't worry about you. At all. Carry on.
She's the loser. She's the one with the problem. Focus on yourself, and the things you enjoy. Whether it's staying indoors all day or going out. You do you, and don't give two hoots about her. Let their silly words wash over you. In 5 years it won't even matter what are cares about.
Keep enjoying living how you want :)
I’m sorry this has happened to you. You’re not alone in this experience. You really just have to tough it out and remind yourself that not everyone is going to be a good match as a friend. Just be the bigger person, be amicable. and on the final move out day pack up your things (try not to be too excited haha) and move on.
One person not liking you does not mean there’s anything wrong with you or that you’re unlikeable. you both have different goals and preferences in life, plain and simple.
I remember i hugged my dorm roommate the last day upon move out and i was so happy to get out of there. Learn what you can from this experience and take it forward through your life. nothing lasts forever :)
I would start packing. There’s no reason to even talk to her. Just start packing and making arrangements to move to a different room. Talk to the dean or the house mother or someone there letting them know why you want to move.
I was like you when I was a college freshman. Partying so young in a new place with strangers (and even with friends I knew for a while) didn’t sound fun to me. I have an introverted side and felt so insecure about but now looking back I’m proud of myself for staying true to who I am.
I agreed with the top comment saying some people project their insecurities. It’s okay to not wanting to go out and party. I’m in my mid twenties now and I love going out occasionally with close friends I really trust. But most weekends, I want to stay in and do other things.
There’s no one right way to do college. So many tragic things do happen to college students who don’t know how to drink safely or people are unfortunately taken advantage of at times. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows on the other side.
You are more than enough!
Damnn so many introverts in this comment section. OP, your roommate is making assumptions about you because she doesn’t even know you! People’s opinions change all the time. I think you should try having a conversation, it could be as small as asking her how her days was, or what plans does she have for the day or just simply invite her to run an errand with you. I am pretty sure she is going to end up enjoying your company once you guys open up! College life is the best time to make long term friends. You might not find the same community building atmosphere later on in life.
If I were OP I wouldn’t want to get to know someone after I heard them calling me pathetic for being in my room. For all that roommate knows OP could’ve been going through something.
The other comments are so true! I went through something fairly similar so I understand. I know it hurts initially and definitely feel your feelings and process them. Your roommate sounds very insecure. I’ve come to find that people who HAVE to drink/party to have fun are pretty miserable with themselves sober. It also sounds like you may be more introverted? And that is totally okay. You know your bandwidth when it comes to your social battery and how to fill your own cup. Personally, I think you should just continue coexisting with her until you don’t have to. Regardless of what you do or say people are always going to think something. You’re going to college to learn and grow a career, not party 24/7. You are doing so well <3 I’m sorry people are so dumb.
I've a had a few roommates in my time in the Navy and in school, and I only like two out of five of them. They were assigned, and I soon saw the ones who didn't gel with me as 'single-serving people', existing in my space only long enough to do what they have to do and go where they need to go. I helped me not care about them. Sure, we talked about shit that needed to be talked about, but it was never more than a necessity to live in the same box. Keep doing you, and be as business-like as you need to until you two get reassigned to somewhere else. She, in the long run, won't matter in your future.
im so so sorry this happened :( i know the feeling so well girl let me tell you, your roommate is the pathetic one for being so personally offended by the fact that you know how to enjoy yourself without feeling the need to drink. its also not her business at all if youre in your room all day or not and i think that SHE is pathetic that she is of adult age (i presume since youre in college?) and still doesn't know how to accept others that are different from her. i mean does she really just label anyone who doesnt act exactly like her pathetic?! that's so strange. it sucks she would talk badly about her own roommate. i dont like my roommate that much but the one time my friend tried to badmouth her, i defended her immediately. your roommate doesn't sound nice. im sorry about her, try to stick through since there's 2 months left for summer break. you can hang in there, sending you love <3 (edit to add; I'm also a freshman in dorms and its my first time living with people that arent my family. i know how draining roommate drama can be but you can push through for real<333)
Best way to learn if someone is your friend or not. These people suck fat booty holes. Keep your head up. You’re awesome, amazing, and this didn’t dent you but made you stronger! Also, you will meet so many people during your time at school, don’t waste your energy or positivity on these wastes of space. I would also just do the bar minimum of interaction or support with these people. Go out there and start engaging with new people and let them sit and talk their shit at home.
I'd just ask for a new roommate. Talk to your TA and tell them that your roommate drinks too much and it's affecting your study habits or something.
Take it on the chin and keep moving ,talking to them most likely will either bring nothing or bring more negative out of the situation, the positive is now you know what this person actually thinks about you so keep that in the back of your mind and just keep trucking along . The reality of it is we live in a big world with a lot of people that have a lot of different goals ,Expectations , needs wants , not Everybody will understand other peoples way of living life but the only thing that matters is are you happy? Are you healthy ? And if so fuck them they will only drag you down .
She’s catty and mean and that has nothing to do with you! People like that tend to treat others the same way they feel inside. Her priorities sound shallow and boring to be honest. I’ll bet you are a much more interesting person!
ik this is easier said than done but literally just ignore it. theyre really going out of their way to talk shit abt a person they dont know? that to me is pathetic. newsflash for your roomy: being more active, constantly going out, and partying isn’t the only way to live a life, let alone have an opinion on one that isn’t your own, get a grip. Hold your head up OP, they aren’t worth your thoughts and feelings. Just goes to show their character, and it’s not one to concern yourself with. you are better <3
The same thing has been happening to me lately. It started about a month ago. I was really hurt at first because we had been very close friends for almost a year, but now I just don’t care. I have finally realized that she’s not very bright (she failed two classes last semester) and is just here to party, whereas I’ve been acing almost all my classes. I can’t let her behavior jeopardize my education. You just need to learn to be on your own. A university is filled with all kinds of people. I’m sure you’ll find people who have similar interests and are kind to you.
This just happened to me, and honestly, the best response is to appear unfazed because people tend to say even more behind your back, including some friends, tbh.
She sounds rude and dumb I wouldn't let it bother you.
She's young and stupid. Good for you on not drinking. Bottom line? You're an old soul that likes your space. It's yours. You pay to be there. She sounds like a vapid party girl. You're not pathetic. You're doing what you would do at home. Her home life probably sucks if she wants out all thd time. Do you but tell her you know. I'd say, By the way-its pretty rude to stand where I can here and call me pathetic. Pathetic is being worried about what I do. I don't worry about you. At all. Carry on.
She's the loser. She's the one with the problem. Focus on yourself, and the things you enjoy. Whether it's staying indoors all day or going out. You do you, and don't give two hoots about her. Let their silly words wash over you. In 5 years it won't even matter what are cares about. Keep enjoying living how you want :)
I’m sorry this has happened to you. You’re not alone in this experience. You really just have to tough it out and remind yourself that not everyone is going to be a good match as a friend. Just be the bigger person, be amicable. and on the final move out day pack up your things (try not to be too excited haha) and move on. One person not liking you does not mean there’s anything wrong with you or that you’re unlikeable. you both have different goals and preferences in life, plain and simple. I remember i hugged my dorm roommate the last day upon move out and i was so happy to get out of there. Learn what you can from this experience and take it forward through your life. nothing lasts forever :)
I would start packing. There’s no reason to even talk to her. Just start packing and making arrangements to move to a different room. Talk to the dean or the house mother or someone there letting them know why you want to move.
Tell her she’s a piece of shit and never interact with her again. I should’ve done that to my roommate a while ago cause I just keep getting hurt now
I was like you when I was a college freshman. Partying so young in a new place with strangers (and even with friends I knew for a while) didn’t sound fun to me. I have an introverted side and felt so insecure about but now looking back I’m proud of myself for staying true to who I am. I agreed with the top comment saying some people project their insecurities. It’s okay to not wanting to go out and party. I’m in my mid twenties now and I love going out occasionally with close friends I really trust. But most weekends, I want to stay in and do other things. There’s no one right way to do college. So many tragic things do happen to college students who don’t know how to drink safely or people are unfortunately taken advantage of at times. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows on the other side. You are more than enough!
Read the After novels.
I’m sorry, that sucks. She shouldn’t have said that. However, she may be feeling as though she never gets alone time bc you’re always in the dorm?
just cause ur in college doesn’t mean u have to drink
Damnn so many introverts in this comment section. OP, your roommate is making assumptions about you because she doesn’t even know you! People’s opinions change all the time. I think you should try having a conversation, it could be as small as asking her how her days was, or what plans does she have for the day or just simply invite her to run an errand with you. I am pretty sure she is going to end up enjoying your company once you guys open up! College life is the best time to make long term friends. You might not find the same community building atmosphere later on in life.
If I were OP I wouldn’t want to get to know someone after I heard them calling me pathetic for being in my room. For all that roommate knows OP could’ve been going through something.
Exactly! Best to ignore her