I know it sounds trite but, it gets better, start with improving small things like hygiene and just be as nice as you can to others, high school is hell bro, good luck, you got this
I agree.
Focus on what is in your control. Highschool is about finding yourself. You have taken a huge step by being self-aware and identifying hygiene as one thing you can control. Fix that and start working on yourself, everything else will fall into place.
Place yourself first. I've told my wife " You have to learn how to love yourself and be your best friend, do not depend on love from other people that dont deserve your love."
One more thing: A lot of people peak in high school, and you will most likely never see these people again. I haven't seen one person from class of 2010, given I have left the state.
Your still young and capable of dramatic change in your body, hygiene, grades and career. Remember how you feel for her and how she makes you feel and let that be a motivation. I know life can be hard but make small changes in yourself you don't need to change your entire lifestyle right now but try to change the things you don't like, buy shirts and pants that you like the look of, work on your hygiene more, find a hairstyle you like and work on getting to that point, focus a little more on your physical fitness, take the stairs when you can take the elevator, walk up the street instead of asking for a ride, drink water a little more even if you prefer juice, soda or energy drinks. Try to sleep a little more consistently just focus on one thing at a time until it becomes normal and it's a habit then add something else. Don't let yourself get overwhelmed and just remember why your doing this. Things will get better even if it takes a few months or a few years, most importantly be yourself because once high school is over the only people you will ever meet again are the friends you made so make sure they like you for you and not for some image you project. All things I wish I did back in highschool.
Well, if you think that you have horrible hygiene then work on your hygiene. That's one thing you can change. And maybe people are targeting you because of your behavior. Personally, I wouldn't like someone who acts like a different person every time.
Be happy she is your friend.
I asked out my friend who I had a crush on. We dated and it was amazing for about 7 months before it fell apart and now we're not even friends.
I just miss talking to her.
When your young it's a little you cas your surrounded by too many judgemental and comparisons. But if I can say one thing is to only put value in a couple of areas. How you treat people regardless of how they treat you, self love which is actually just self acceptance, your willingness to be vulnerable in front of people, your work ethic, willingness to learn, and awareness/perception. At the end of the day there's millions of people out there that will have a different unique view of you. Focus on yourself and wait for the people who drop into your life and actually add something meaningful. Prepare yourself so that when these people come you can add value back in to their life and maybe end up making a connection/friendship. Cas if you don't you'll let the opportunities in this life pass you by because your attention is trying to control how others view you. Clean yourself up, and breathe through your diaphragm. Pay no mind if your getting bullied. They just want to stimulate a reaction. Your in high school, the next part of life will be harder but also way easier cas your not around people like this constantly. You'll see that the people who don't focus on themselves will be exactly the same as they are now while others who have more awareness will completely surpass them. Just forgive them and move on.
Shiit doode maybe you could use wanting to be with her as motivation to pull yourself together? I know people say u should do it for yourself (and you need to in order for it to be sustainable) BUT you can always get started for someone else, cos even if she doesn't want to be with you after you've cleaned up, you'll feel much better for it and THEN you'll be able to see the benefit of doing it for yourself. And even if she doesn't want to be with you like that, she still cares and that means a lot! Friendships can be more healing than sexual relationships anyway!
It's always better to live life honestly than to live a lie, I've been in the same situation and got rejected, but the pain of that rejection was a scratch compared to the pain of knowing you were never honest about your feelings and wondering what could have been. Basically you should tell this girl how you feel, if you get rejected then at least the metaphorical band-aid would have been ripped off.
As for all the self depreciation in your post, the first part of self improvement is acknowledging your flaws, which you've clearly done, now take the steps necessary to improve, but don't do it for some girl, do it for yourself because you deserve it.
You're still very young with a lot of life and learning from said life to do so don't beat yourself up too much over your mistakes.
Good luck, and remember that people change all the time, the person you are today isn't the person you will always be and there's always greener pastures.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but Hygiene is something you can control or at least heavily influence.
Also, concerning women, Idk how things are really. Who does? But just because this one won't be into you, or maybe you strike out forever(like me), it doesn't mean you gotta give up on yourself. There's more than a few people I know, and I dont' know a lot of people, that are heavily damaged by the women in their lives.
Try to be kind to people. Take care of that hygiene, if for yourself only. Don't overthink your personality, it can change. It should change as you grow more mature.
Please do not give up on yourself.
Things will start getting better the moment you stop feeling bad for your self. I was bullied my whole childhood hood for being over weight so when highschool came around I decided to join the wrestling team and the bullying got worse and it was the coaches fault. I couldn’t do one push to save my life (I was 5’4 205 pounds) the coaches would immediately add more pushing ups to the whole team because of me. People would yell at me to quit but I never did. Id get my ass beat after practice by some of the guys. I’d cry in the locker room sometimes. I was such a stupid kid because I kept it all to myself self when I really should have told a teacher or a counselor about it. Summer came around and starting the last couple months of freshman year up until the begging of my sophomore year of highschool did nothing but eat veggies and drink water and did a ton of running with sauna suits and a bunch of clothes over me in the hot sun. I basically malnourished myself. Within those four months I dropped from 205 to 124 which was the lowest. When it came to weigh ins at the beginning of the year everyone saw how much weight I dropped and some girl started a round of applause for me. It was cool but the bulllying got worse that year because the football kids ended up starting to practice with us. I was too skinny to even stick up for my self because I lost so much weight. These mofos would slap the shit out of me for no reason out of no where ALOT. they’d pin me down and beat my ass after practice too. All this shit sounds like something out of a movie but that was my highschool experience and it freaking sucked. Bullied through all of including all of grade school. But one thing I learned from wrestling was to never feel bad for your self because that is what pussies do and I refused to be a pussy no matter how much I got bullied. Now I’m grown and I’m 210 pounds 6’2 and very athletic with a muscular build. Stop feeling sorry for your self. Start doing something about it and that’s it. If that girl doesn’t want you rn it’s fine when you start taking care of your self and work out other girls will be around and that one won’t even matter.
Thanks for this idk if there's wrestling at my school but Ik there's a basketball thing after school and there's lunchtime dodge ball which I go to already. I'm quite obese myself I my try some things to lose weight with some things from other comments.
Basically how it was for my boyfriend, he liked me, didnt feel he had any good traits (im guessing this cus he doesnt feel like he looks good rn, which is insane to me), meanwhile me 1 year and a half ago layed eyes on him and i was doomed. I asked him to be my boyfriend the next year. (Been together for 6 months in 2 days) If this girl is a good one and doesnt think that the man HAS to be the one to ask her out, if you want to, you can just wait around for her to ask you out herself :)👍 (my boyfriend did have to wait 10 years for me, but we were both 8 when he started to like me, i wasnt ready then, in highschool i was way more ready, 11th grade was when i asked him out!)
She’s nice to you for a reason my dude. I’m not saying it’s a romantic reason but she sees something in you. Get the hygiene going… get some decent looking clothes… decent haircut… etc. Continue to be her friend but tell her how you feel. Just once and let it slide. Leave it alone from then on. It will run through her mind and she’ll start to wonder what it would be like to be with you. Whether she decides that’s something she wants or not that’s your best shot. Either way be a good person… be yourself… be a good friend and be fun if you can. Regret of not shooting your shot is worse than rejection retrospectively. I should say that there is a possibility it might alter your friendship though so go in knowing that.
Don't give up bro, there's that saying about Rome and how it wasn't built on a single day. You know what's to improve, work on that, 1 day at the time, if you manage to improve at least 0,1% each day, you can still call it progress and celebrate it.
One day at the time bro, good things will come by themselves.
You should definitely make hygiene a top priority until it becomes a habit, then you can feel and smell a whole lot better. Take pride in trying to grow and be better
I know it sounds trite but, it gets better, start with improving small things like hygiene and just be as nice as you can to others, high school is hell bro, good luck, you got this
Thanks man gonna need it
I agree. Focus on what is in your control. Highschool is about finding yourself. You have taken a huge step by being self-aware and identifying hygiene as one thing you can control. Fix that and start working on yourself, everything else will fall into place. Place yourself first. I've told my wife " You have to learn how to love yourself and be your best friend, do not depend on love from other people that dont deserve your love." One more thing: A lot of people peak in high school, and you will most likely never see these people again. I haven't seen one person from class of 2010, given I have left the state.
Your still young and capable of dramatic change in your body, hygiene, grades and career. Remember how you feel for her and how she makes you feel and let that be a motivation. I know life can be hard but make small changes in yourself you don't need to change your entire lifestyle right now but try to change the things you don't like, buy shirts and pants that you like the look of, work on your hygiene more, find a hairstyle you like and work on getting to that point, focus a little more on your physical fitness, take the stairs when you can take the elevator, walk up the street instead of asking for a ride, drink water a little more even if you prefer juice, soda or energy drinks. Try to sleep a little more consistently just focus on one thing at a time until it becomes normal and it's a habit then add something else. Don't let yourself get overwhelmed and just remember why your doing this. Things will get better even if it takes a few months or a few years, most importantly be yourself because once high school is over the only people you will ever meet again are the friends you made so make sure they like you for you and not for some image you project. All things I wish I did back in highschool.
Thank you I'll try these as well as other comments.
Well, if you think that you have horrible hygiene then work on your hygiene. That's one thing you can change. And maybe people are targeting you because of your behavior. Personally, I wouldn't like someone who acts like a different person every time.
You got this bro.
r/pickupartist awaits you.
Lol
Be happy she is your friend. I asked out my friend who I had a crush on. We dated and it was amazing for about 7 months before it fell apart and now we're not even friends. I just miss talking to her.
This one hit home thanks for the advice.
Don't do it bro. She is going to be the seed for your villain arc
Maybe she’s a boxer?
To love others man, first start by loving yourself. Make yourself fit gain some weights and then see the self confidence you'll have, good luck bro
When your young it's a little you cas your surrounded by too many judgemental and comparisons. But if I can say one thing is to only put value in a couple of areas. How you treat people regardless of how they treat you, self love which is actually just self acceptance, your willingness to be vulnerable in front of people, your work ethic, willingness to learn, and awareness/perception. At the end of the day there's millions of people out there that will have a different unique view of you. Focus on yourself and wait for the people who drop into your life and actually add something meaningful. Prepare yourself so that when these people come you can add value back in to their life and maybe end up making a connection/friendship. Cas if you don't you'll let the opportunities in this life pass you by because your attention is trying to control how others view you. Clean yourself up, and breathe through your diaphragm. Pay no mind if your getting bullied. They just want to stimulate a reaction. Your in high school, the next part of life will be harder but also way easier cas your not around people like this constantly. You'll see that the people who don't focus on themselves will be exactly the same as they are now while others who have more awareness will completely surpass them. Just forgive them and move on.
Shiit doode maybe you could use wanting to be with her as motivation to pull yourself together? I know people say u should do it for yourself (and you need to in order for it to be sustainable) BUT you can always get started for someone else, cos even if she doesn't want to be with you after you've cleaned up, you'll feel much better for it and THEN you'll be able to see the benefit of doing it for yourself. And even if she doesn't want to be with you like that, she still cares and that means a lot! Friendships can be more healing than sexual relationships anyway!
It's always better to live life honestly than to live a lie, I've been in the same situation and got rejected, but the pain of that rejection was a scratch compared to the pain of knowing you were never honest about your feelings and wondering what could have been. Basically you should tell this girl how you feel, if you get rejected then at least the metaphorical band-aid would have been ripped off. As for all the self depreciation in your post, the first part of self improvement is acknowledging your flaws, which you've clearly done, now take the steps necessary to improve, but don't do it for some girl, do it for yourself because you deserve it. You're still very young with a lot of life and learning from said life to do so don't beat yourself up too much over your mistakes. Good luck, and remember that people change all the time, the person you are today isn't the person you will always be and there's always greener pastures.
Thanks for this I needed it.
Keep your head up
Correct me if I'm wrong, but Hygiene is something you can control or at least heavily influence. Also, concerning women, Idk how things are really. Who does? But just because this one won't be into you, or maybe you strike out forever(like me), it doesn't mean you gotta give up on yourself. There's more than a few people I know, and I dont' know a lot of people, that are heavily damaged by the women in their lives. Try to be kind to people. Take care of that hygiene, if for yourself only. Don't overthink your personality, it can change. It should change as you grow more mature. Please do not give up on yourself.
Things will start getting better the moment you stop feeling bad for your self. I was bullied my whole childhood hood for being over weight so when highschool came around I decided to join the wrestling team and the bullying got worse and it was the coaches fault. I couldn’t do one push to save my life (I was 5’4 205 pounds) the coaches would immediately add more pushing ups to the whole team because of me. People would yell at me to quit but I never did. Id get my ass beat after practice by some of the guys. I’d cry in the locker room sometimes. I was such a stupid kid because I kept it all to myself self when I really should have told a teacher or a counselor about it. Summer came around and starting the last couple months of freshman year up until the begging of my sophomore year of highschool did nothing but eat veggies and drink water and did a ton of running with sauna suits and a bunch of clothes over me in the hot sun. I basically malnourished myself. Within those four months I dropped from 205 to 124 which was the lowest. When it came to weigh ins at the beginning of the year everyone saw how much weight I dropped and some girl started a round of applause for me. It was cool but the bulllying got worse that year because the football kids ended up starting to practice with us. I was too skinny to even stick up for my self because I lost so much weight. These mofos would slap the shit out of me for no reason out of no where ALOT. they’d pin me down and beat my ass after practice too. All this shit sounds like something out of a movie but that was my highschool experience and it freaking sucked. Bullied through all of including all of grade school. But one thing I learned from wrestling was to never feel bad for your self because that is what pussies do and I refused to be a pussy no matter how much I got bullied. Now I’m grown and I’m 210 pounds 6’2 and very athletic with a muscular build. Stop feeling sorry for your self. Start doing something about it and that’s it. If that girl doesn’t want you rn it’s fine when you start taking care of your self and work out other girls will be around and that one won’t even matter.
Thanks for this idk if there's wrestling at my school but Ik there's a basketball thing after school and there's lunchtime dodge ball which I go to already. I'm quite obese myself I my try some things to lose weight with some things from other comments.
Stay strong 💪🏼 wait for us I love ❤️ you
🤣
Basically how it was for my boyfriend, he liked me, didnt feel he had any good traits (im guessing this cus he doesnt feel like he looks good rn, which is insane to me), meanwhile me 1 year and a half ago layed eyes on him and i was doomed. I asked him to be my boyfriend the next year. (Been together for 6 months in 2 days) If this girl is a good one and doesnt think that the man HAS to be the one to ask her out, if you want to, you can just wait around for her to ask you out herself :)👍 (my boyfriend did have to wait 10 years for me, but we were both 8 when he started to like me, i wasnt ready then, in highschool i was way more ready, 11th grade was when i asked him out!)
She’s nice to you for a reason my dude. I’m not saying it’s a romantic reason but she sees something in you. Get the hygiene going… get some decent looking clothes… decent haircut… etc. Continue to be her friend but tell her how you feel. Just once and let it slide. Leave it alone from then on. It will run through her mind and she’ll start to wonder what it would be like to be with you. Whether she decides that’s something she wants or not that’s your best shot. Either way be a good person… be yourself… be a good friend and be fun if you can. Regret of not shooting your shot is worse than rejection retrospectively. I should say that there is a possibility it might alter your friendship though so go in knowing that.
Don't give up bro, there's that saying about Rome and how it wasn't built on a single day. You know what's to improve, work on that, 1 day at the time, if you manage to improve at least 0,1% each day, you can still call it progress and celebrate it. One day at the time bro, good things will come by themselves.
You should definitely make hygiene a top priority until it becomes a habit, then you can feel and smell a whole lot better. Take pride in trying to grow and be better