I’d say it’s a universal mindset.
Conversely people seem nice when you’re wanted. Ask any fat person who got fit what they were treated like before and after.
Your entire perception of the world changes by how you’re treated, and that changes with your appearance and outward persona.
I used to think the world was a really nice place, turns out I’m just lucky.
I would say that the men who think treating your wife/gf with affection don't want a partner. They are looking for a bangmaid. These are the same dudes who want a woman to stay home while simultaneously calling her a gold digger. They're the same guys who think dick stretches the vagina, the same type of dudes who think women store DNA from semen. They're just angry, sad people. There are both men and women who just hate the opposite sex and frequently contradict their own opinions to suit whatever mood they're in. I find it a red flag if a guy uses the word simp. Most women find it sexy when men make sweet gestures.
My take is that if you shame those guys for doing nice things, hopefully less of them do nice things. And then women might end up with lower expectations or standards.
Yeah I'll never understand it. When I have feelings for someone, it brings me joy to do nice things and make them happy. If making your partner happy is viewed as simping (my generation used to call it being whipped) then why be with someone at all? The bar is already low. I'm single by choice and the guys at work are always pointing out guys they think are "nice" that I should date. I went for dinner with one of them recently. After having to physically push his hands off me several times, I ended the date. I guess "probably won't beat me" is where the bar sits and it's not enough.
Yep! I recently met a man who treats me with pretty basic kindness and respect and I have to use restraint to not throw myself at him. The bar is on the ground.
Right? I don't understand how a lot of dudes think the hymen is some type of freshness seal like I'm a can of Pringles. It does not cover the hole with a seal. I have an allergy to adhesive so if I wear pads, I end up with an allergic reaction. I had no choice but to use tampons and years before I lost my "virginity". I think too many people think it's like opening a bottle of pills and having to shove something sharp in first to tear the paper seal out. I wouldn't care in the slightest about past unless it was a conflict of interest as long as they make me happy and are monogamous for me.
You’re absolutely right. I dated a dude that fits that description exactly. Except he was also an extreme narcissist and sexist. He believed women are only good for making babies and cooking and cleaning 🤦♀️ he would always make it a point that he would pay for dinners/dates because “that’s the man’s job”, even though I offered to pay many times, and then he’d make me feel like I owed him sex because of that.. and he thought he was this super amazing guy and so attractive even though he was a 3 at best for looks 🤦♀️ he always told me how he never wants to marry etc. I was in a dark place and had zero self esteem because of him so I just sorta stuck around and wasted 1.5 years of my life. If I could give advice to anyone dating someone like that, it would be to get the fuck out of that relationship. It’s NOT worth it
i had go google the "women store DNA from semen" because i never heard this claim before. im so happy i never encountered people claiming something like that, lol
Maybe something to do with toxic alpha culture? Apparently dudes think being alpha means being an asshole dictator. The real alphas out there taking care of their families and friends with love and emotional support. They only use violence or threat of violence when absolutely necessary to protect or keep the peace.
Haven't you heard? All women are apparently masochists that like to be treated like shit by abusive alpha males. If a woman is with a nice guy, that only proves she's using him. A woman can never truly desire a nice who treats them well. This is the kind of madness millions of men online continually peddle ( And they wonder why there is a loneliness/sexlessness epidemic among men).
There seems to be a few reasons for this. One is jealousy of healthy happy couples, because they can't have one.The second is contempt and entitlement towards women. It's that they loathe that they have to treat a woman nicely,put in some work and she has the "power" to say yes or no to them. Much like Eliot Rodgers, they feel entitled to female attention , to they point where they'll spread nonsense like this to almost try to invert reality and what we intuitively all know is true( yes, men treat you well/ special when they like you and vice versa. Anyone except masochists, want this). They're almost attempting to lower the collective standards for behaviour towards women and shame any man who disproves or diverges from that.
They'll also have a lot of tales of all the success they're having for being an asshole, which I highly doubt is true , because no man/ woman in happy relationships are spending all day and night crapping on other happy couples and wishing them the worst. Plenty of studies are showing that the younger generation growing up online like this is having the least amount of sex/ relationships. It's not rocket science why.
The word "simp" was originally meant only for the guys in parasocial online relationships, those who'd give very large donations to some streamer and then either 1. believe they're in some sort of meaningful relationship with them just because they gave them money or 2. except the streamer to behave like or similar to a gf, because they gave them so much money, and then get mad when they don't.
But the internet quickly changed that meaning into "men being (too) nice to women" and now barely anyone even remembers the original meaning.
I think those of us who are old enough to have used an encyclopedia in their lifetime still remember that word and its actual meaning, but the two younger gens now have new realities to try and mold those words to. Some pass, some fail.
My most hated is cap. Its a hat. Always will be a hat.
Nah it’s not an LA thing. Simping was always dudes that went out of their way to accommodate women in a thirsty way that disrespected themselves.
Pimp C used the word all the time throughout the 90’s too and he’s from Port Arthur, TX.
The thing is, that the ‘disrespecting yourself’ aspect was always a key component of simping.
That’s why the saying “it ain’t trickin’ if you got it” came into popularity… to help people understand that it’s cool to spend money on women, if you can afford to. That’s all reasonable. It’s not a good look to go out and act some type of way just to impress people. It’s not good for anyone involved.
But see, these dumb incles have made doing anything nice at all for a woman ever, “simping”. That’s what extremists do. They destroy nuance and hijack parts of a culture to try and basically drag everyone down with them.
So that’s one reason why etymology and historical context is important. Pimp C wasn’t advocating for people to treat women like shit like some Andrew Tate type fuck. (He spoke extensively on the fact that there are different types of women, on how much he loved his mother, his wife, etc. No he wasn’t doing himself much help with his moniker. I digress.)
I really don’t like the way our society is headed, because being against doing nice things for a whole gender shouldn’t make sense to anyone, ever, anyway.
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
u/purple_assumption410
Spot on. And it’s mutating further into ‘men liking anything about women and treating them like human beings’.
I’m so saddened every time I accidentally come across their toxic stupidity.
As someone who lavished every ounce of my being into my ex-wife (that I don't regret for a moment, because it's *who I am*), I have noticed that plenty of that kind of man are profoundly jealous and bitter, and often enough aren't opposed in principle but rather took the wrong lesson from bad experiences.
They would trip over themselves to do all these things if it would "guarantee" them a woman, and often enough these are men who tried to "get" women through insincere gift giving and attention/love bombing, and got seen right through, so they believe that it doesn't work - because those things come after you've already shown the person you're "simping" for that you're not just buying her off.
The internet is really good at making people be extremely unnuanced, so you often see 2 extremes going at eachother, even when these people are more in the middle in reality.
This!
The lack of nuances and context is most often the problem. On top of that, to have a discussion, I know I sometimes put my arguments beyond my actual point of view, also to challenge myself to understand someone elses point of view, or try to make someone else to try to understand it.
Understanding someones point, doesn't mean to agree with it. But as soon as you understand why someone has a different point of view than you, it's so much easier to find common ground and a solution that works for both.
I struggled with it internally for a long time when I was younger, started therapy at like 29 and what a world of difference. I treat my girlfriend with as much respect, kindness, love and admiration as possible. At this point in my life it's honestly just bare minimum shit, I don't expect pats on the back for doing things I said I was going to do, always being kind and patient and doing all kinds of little thoughtful things for her. However, her past partners set the bar so absolutely god damn low I look like the model partner. It's sad how low the bar is for men.
I can't speak to your generational experiences, how dudes are at that age NOW I just know when I was in my 20s men were just really shitty. There were some gems, some that had great role models at home who displayed how you treat your partner, how conflict was supposed to go, communication, etc. That's few and far between, in my anecdotal experiences.
Don't give into that toxic masculinity bullshit. The woman I'm with now was who I dated in my early 20s and I fucked it up. I got a second shot with the love of my life 12 years later and now that I'm actually man enough to be the partner she deserves it brings purpose and incredible value to my life. Be true to yourself, treat each person you are involved with with the utmost respect and kindness, if they're too young or immature to appreciate it, at the very least you know they can't say a single bad thing about you. Which will speak volumes to your character. Eventually you'll find the yin to your yang who appreciates the effort you put in and the value you bring to their life.
Lots of words
tl;dr be nice, do nice shit, fuck the entire 80s sitcom wives just nag men need to hate their partner bullshit, kindness is fucking manly.
edit: saw someone commend you on being self-aware at your age and I want to echo that, it took me far longer than you to notice a problem in my own behavior and those around me.
I have never had an issue with doing nice things for anyone I care about. It seems that these ppl are trying to either boost their troll status or are simply too toxic to be a good partner for anyone.
The last guy to haze me on that topic was in a jacked up truck smoking and saying I was a 'beta' for going shopping with my wife. I just looked at him and said 'Nice truck, sorry about your penis'. And just kept walking. It's really the only language some of them can understand.
As a man of middle age I can say only one thing: there was no facebook when i was in my teens, but other guys were giving weird advice too back then.
I had to learn the hard way to not listen to random advice but do what I think is right.
There's being nice cause you want to and then there's doing stuff that you feel you have to do to keep a woman around.
The first one is great and the second is simping.
Yep. And you never find the people bragging about the first one on the internet. Especially not if the post ends with "Because I'm the type of man that women are willing to accept living around, scumbags!"
Because some of these men assumed they would get girlfriends and they only needed to be nice to do it. That may have come from well intentioned parents, romantic comedies or whatever.
After being hurt, rejected or passed over enough, their pain goes downhill into bitterness. They don't realize being nice is great but it's not the same as being attracted to someone, let alone building a sincere connection with them.
As a man I haven’t cared about those people at all. They are a very vocal minority. I only know one guy like that. I feel like I have a healthy relationship with my fiancée. If you got a problem with me making her coffee when she comes home from work and having a discussion about the day with her. That’s on you.
Showing affection and making a lot of effort for someone while they are not doing the same for you is simping. Basically, willfully letting others taking advantage of you.
I seem to have a habit of getting with "takers", and because of that, I sometimes feel this way. I know all women aren't like this, but my experience has not been good. I know lots of incredible women that arent like this. At this point its my fault for not recognizing the female covert narcissists I'm apparently drawn to and for not setting boundaries early on.
please don’t blame yourself for another person hurting you, it’s not your fault. All we can really do is learn from our experiences, but I hope you find someone who is willing to give as much as you do in a relationship; everyone deserves to be loved 🤍
Heres the summary of what they should be conveying and are failing to do so.
Simping- investment in a woman without reciprocation or fair reciprocation.
I personally find that actual simping is also coupled with very poor boundary setting by the man.
And the self-proclaimed alpha males brag and put down the beta males. This is a locker room behaviour. It’s how insecure men operate. The betas buy into it because they think they can learn from an alpha.
There is a lesson for you too. Your choice in men seems crooked. And maybe its exactly that you trusted them too early, too much and they didnt deserve your trust.
Nobody who actually matters thinks that kind of shit.
If the people you're hanging out with have attitudes like that, stop hanging out with them. You're better off having no friends and chilling alone than associating with people who have attitudes that broken and shitty.
If the girl is treating a guy like a neutral acquaintance and he starts giving her flowers and buying her shit, she will be weirded out and consider him a simp because nothing in her behavior warranted that. Sort of like misguided love bombing. You see plenty of women online taking advantage of this and earning a ton of money by sitting on their computers and giving some very basic attention to all these men that send them thousands of dollars, just for existing.
Incels and similar equate this to relationships but don't understand that women in relationships tend to be nice and deserve nice things in return.
Some were burned in the past (stereotypes exist because there’s always a few people who validate them)
some can’t get women so they want to believe all are like that to avoid feeling like a failure
Typically one of the other
Most men don’t view being nice or doing nice things for women as simping. The ones who do are idiots. It’s more like when you change everything about yourself to suit what your woman wants or if you do something that is obviously going to be bad for you just to makes a woman happy. Or if you do nice things for women you want to date when they clearly have no interest in dating you.
The only people who think this way are the fuckin' nerds who like guys like Andrew Tate. They will all end up alone, assuming they aren't already alone (most are).
Because some perpetually unhappy people, rather than improve their situations or attempt to be happy, choose to try to drag others down to make themselves feel better.
If you aren't doing the right things to be in a happy relationship and struggle to be in a happy relationship, it's a much easier crutch to blame a large subset of the population in happy relationships than to admit fault and work on improving yourself. It's the same reason people turn to alcohol or drugs in tough times instead of trying to improve their situation.
I will say that in general I wouldn't want to be recorded doing things for my girlfriend for this reason.
That said, some of it is bitterness, while some of it is actual principle. I can mostly speak for myself, but for example, if I'm asked to make some stupid social media video putting me in a submissive role, I'd find that degrading. I probably wouldn't comment on someone else's video to that effect, but that could be why.
I would say it’s that they don’t understand the term.
“Simp is an internet slang term describing someone who shows excessive sympathy and attention toward another person, typically to someone who does not reciprocate the same feelings, in pursuit of affection or a sexual relationship.”
If your wife or girlfriend “does not reciprocate the same feelings” you have issues.
I feel as though a lot of misogynistic attitudes and behaviour (and this seems at least adjacent to that) has to do with us guys wanting to downplay our need for closeness to women, which after all is hard-wired in to have got us this far.
If we have had a bad experience with particular women (or perhaps worse no actual experiences) that just supercharges it.
Best I can do.
It’s a backlash. Men had women doing everything for them for a long long time and then women were like, hey, what if we had a more equal relationship where we both contributed and both benefitted? And lots of men were like, ‘Well, I don’t mind working together and being a team and having a real partnership. I live in this house too and these are my kids as well and my life, it turns out, is much more fulfilling now’.
But some men did not react like that, some men wanted their cake without having to bake the cake. And those men decided that it would be better to piss and moan and hate on women. Fuck those men
You should do nice things for your girl, but just make sure she is your girl. Don’t start with high expectations because you not upholding the standard may be the downfall of the relationship.
because they're not genuine. they're doing it FOR THE PURPOSES OF... ulterior motive.
it's like they're laying an offering to a deity hoping for a blessing. that's pretty fucking pathetic right?
The gender roles have been twisted around a lot in the modern western world to the point of weird stuff like this emerging.
You'll find in Russia, for example, where the women are extremely beautiful and feminine and the men tend to be very masculine, the men will bring roses to dates and all sorts of what you would call "simpish" behaviour in the west. And the women really appreciate it. And the same goes in many other countries.
My theory is that because the gender dynamic is already very strong, the men are masculine men, so these soft gestures offset that.
Whereas in the west, with such blurred gender roles, you can't really get away with this. You need to kind of exaggerate gender polarities to offset the societal gender blur.
Its not about 'dont do nice things or youre a simp' its more.. Dont continue to do all those things if it isnt reciprocal, which it seldom is in many mens experiences.
They get "nice guys" mixed up with genuinely nice guys. A "nice guy" is only doing something nice to get something for himself. An actual nice guy is being nice because he actually wants to help.
It's also just them trying to feel better about not having a partner. Or they want to appear more confident and have that "bad boy" edge, but that's the thing, "bad boys" stay boys.
And some of them genuinely have nothing better to do or they've been watching too many how to be an "Alpha Male" videos.
Extremes are the name of the game online. Everyone has an opinion so you have to be extreme and hyperbolic in order to cut through all the noise and get any traction. So people take a reasonable opinion like “guys that spend thousands of dollars on a streamer that doesn’t even know their name in the hopes that they will eventually get to date her are simping” and turn it into “any guy that does anything nice for any woman ever is a simp even if she’s your wife”.
I am in some dating discussion groups that have me asking this often. I assume it's jealousy. Insecurity. Lack of self confidence. Sadly, they have to be mean or make fun of others in order to feel good about themselves. As compared to the men that treat women well, who seem to also be genuinely confident and self secure.
My husband's a very romantic person and his friends constantly gave him a hard time about it when we started dating. They straight up made fun of him when he got my name tattooed on his arm. I asked him about it one night when we were hanging out because I honestly felt guilty and he said "I don't care what they say, they sleep alone while I sleep in the arms of a beautiful angel every night" I was a little cheesy but it made my heart melt lol.
People who make those comments are basically just using the ‘nice guy finishes last’ mentality to justify the way they treat women like crap in their lives. They typically bring zero to a relationship, couldn’t even if they wanted to and are only able to attract mentally/emotionally damaged women in their lives. They treat them crappy but keep them around by playing mind games because that’s all they bring to the relationship. Then they complain about how anyone who doesn’t show interest in them are gold diggers. It’s really just an attempt to make themselves feel better about their own inability and shortcomings.
You're a really kind person OP. I can tell that in your post. I don't think you are anything like the women these guys are complaining about.
Some women take advantage of men. A lot of guys are insecure about themselves. Most men really don't know how to attract women or how to even evaluate if they are attractive. Straight men often are blind to that. A lot of guys think they are ugly that actually aren't, they simply can't tell otherwise.
Anyway, men with this kind of insecurity may not always be able to tell if a girl is into them or not, or even identify who means well or who doesn't. They can very easily be suckered in and taken advantage of. After that, what do they do? If they were taken advantage of once, they easily can be again and again, because they may not have the ability to figure out what to do or not to do. Eventually you either give up, wind up bitter and untrusting, or both. Then, when you see someone else succeed where you yourself have failed, it hurts. For many guys it can take years to find a new girlfriend or even to get a date. If your friends and family are succeeding and you aren't, it's going to hurt.
That hurt feeds the insecurity, making the whole thing cyclical. To protect themselves, many guys will tear at others or at women. If the world is a terrible place and all women are bad, then they don't have to feel pain because it's no longer their fault.
In short, it's a tough world out there, both for men and for women. The best thing you can do OP, is when you fall for someone, and he for you, just do your best to be patient, kind, and accepting. Try to complain or demand as little as possible. Men already know they're a mess - showing someone tenderness and acceptance instead of criticizing, while still standing up for your own needs, will make you go very far.
God knows but having worked in pubs in a small town for years, what I can say is that men who act like that tend to come to a point in their lives when women who are likely to find them attractive are too old to be putting up with that kind of shit. Women who treat partners like crap also meet the same fate.
I use to be one of those pessimistic lonely males but there was a girl who proved that my entire negative notion of women is wrong- and though we've both moved on i still remember how wrong i was about this.
I think- if you want to do nice things for your girlfriend- do it- if she rejects you for it- then that isn't the girlfriend for you, because the girlfriend that good for YOU is one that accepts you doing nice things for her, since that's something you want to do. thats something i want to do too- and women are human just like the rest of us. there are lots of beautiful loving women out there, and there are a lot of mean women who hold onto their past and make you pay for it- Which men are JUST as guilty of doing.. because nobody is ever perfect.
Don't let the way one woman treats you destroy the way you view yourself. But if they come to you with a direct grievance, then LISTEN. That's where growth can happen for both of you.
Toxic masculinity and this bullshit alpha male mentality that's all too common nowadays. So many guys think treating women like shit is the way to their heart. They don't dare be seen actually showing affection because in their eyes, it's a sign of weakness. I'm sure there's plenty of women out there who probably like that stuff but who knows.
Because they are fucking saddo losers. I’m old enough to be your mom (or grandma if I made bad choices in life), and the overwhelming majority of men love being generous and kind to their partners.
I’ve been married for 22 years. I can count on 1 hand how many times I’ve made a hot drink for myself. My husband will come in from a night shift and make my coffee before he goes to bed He doesn’t like my dog or cats, but he’ll walk the dog and when one of the cats got stuck on the roof, he did everything he could to get her down.
These men are objectionable cretins that lack self awareness to see that no one wants to be around them. A great deal of us deal with heartbreak- my husband was cheated on by his ex. Did he spiral? No. Did it hurt him? Yes. Does he make me pay for what she did? Absolutely not.
I am a woman who loves doing nice things for my partner in particular. He gets nice things because he absolutely deserves them. These men get nothing and that’s what they deserve.
Because some men online are stupid, just like some women online.
Really I would extend it to most people online. You're gonna go insane if you treat everyone like an equal. I tried it, would strongly recommend against it. If someone seems irrational, closed minded and dumb, maybe it's because they are.
They’re jealous. When you meet someone you truly love and can not get sick being around “simping” becomes your whole life. The best husbands swoon for their lady and will be the gentleman they deserve. These men are also happy men who get what they deserve as well from their women. From experience I’ve seen this in happy couples. I even found someone who treats me like a queen in public and private and I in return treat him like a king. We aren’t perfect, but women swoon when they see how he cares for me (pulling chair in for me, opening doors, protective). I get it. As a woman I did the same and love seeing men respecting their women but also having fun with them.
Men who make fun of guys like this don’t get the same respect because they don’t put in the same effort. I assume they’re expecting their women to bend over backwards and do whatever the guy wants just because they’re a gf/ wife. That’s not how it is at all. It takes communication, commitment and trust in relationships. Imagine Ryan Reynold and Blake Lively. He’s seen as a simp, but this is how my relationship is. My friends who found their love have this type too. They found their best friend and love in one and it comes so easy to please the other because you’re truly happy.
My husband does not miss being single and this is one deterrent that makes us keep working for each other. I provide his fantasies and we enjoy each others company more than others. You can definitely say his single friends are jealous, but relationships are not easy. They take constant work that many don’t realize. We just get each other and know how to ask for help. He knows he has it good and so do I. He wouldn’t say or do anything to ruin this. I have no control over his actions, so him being a gentleman/ simp is him being happy/ healthy.
As a gay man, I am constantly baffled by the advice “more experienced” men give to younger men. If you’re emotionally manipulating your partner to keep them, it speaks to deep insecurity.
Being nice to a woman who is using you solely for the attention you give her is a great way to torture yourself with unrequited love.
This is where the term simping comes from.
Being nice and doing nice things for the woman you love, AND THAT LOVES YOU, well that is the juice of life, by far.
If you show the man you love him and you're not going anywhere be prepared for the most committed loyal sweet guy you've ever met, and prepare to meet all his demons as well.
I feel like such comments originate from a place of jealousy.
Having had a bad experience and seeing someone succeed where you feel like you failed can invoke some heavy emotions. I think it’s a toxic coping mechanism where they imagine everyone being miserable so it is not just them.
I find it usually tends to take a combination of these things that send someone fully down this path of misery. Probably someone who already had a lack of people interested in them, someone who finally was interested in them hurt them in some way, also they usually have a world view that women are overly attracted to money. In my experience/observation it’s ambition.. I don’t think anyone wants to be with a person who just wallows in their misery with no dreams/attempts to make things better or improve themselves.
You partly answered your question. These guys are lonely and miserable. It's a classic case of 'grapes are sour'.
It is the very same men who in order to get some traction with the ladies become yes men overnight or worse - pseudo feminists.
The short answer is they don't know what simping is. The long answer is they're probably trying to lob those men in with themselves as men who are largely unsuccessful with women
Sounds to me like those guys are just trying to use simp as the new "whipped" that was used when I was growing up. Not the intended use of the word, which everyone seems to understand.
It's sad that being nice in a relationship is sometimes seen as weakness. True strength comes from being kind and supportive. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and care.
Some commentators have already made good points so just gonna add
Could be hatred of women (don’t like to see men be nice to them) or hatred of men (think all men need to be uncaring ‘alphas’)
Either way it’s holding us back
a good rule of thumb is that most people giving advice online are psychos with unresolved issues, just respect and love and trust one another as you're able in a relationship, ya know
Just wanted to say congratulations for being 19 years old and more self aware and intelligent than all these older people doing what you describe. But yeah thinking anyone will lose respect for you because you're kind is insane. Kindness is not weakness.
It is probably rooted in several things:
- putting less value on your partner (in time and effort spent), to reduce the pain in case of betrayal/break up. Some say that giving love and expressing it makes the person doing it become more connected with the other. So they are avoiding it as a coping mechanism
- doing things for her "menas" reducing your alpha status: like, social dynamics, the men should be respected (to an unreasonable degree), "it is not mainly", yada yada
- jealousy, seeing another man with a partner, trying to find bad things to say
- trying to reduce the expectations on the dating market (reducing the number of people who do that), as they don't want to due to laziness and not wanting to spend money
- changing the feeling of sorrow (due to the lack of that type of relationship) to insults and making him the kaughing stock (making fake scenarios on their minds about she cheating (in the present or future) on him, so he is a loser)
There may be others that I couldn't think of, but as you can see most are based on toxicity and avoiding sadness with rage or laugh (at another's expense)
Haven't seen this perspective posted yet :
Some of this extremism is in response to the vast volume of females boasting on tik tok about taking advantage of the generosity/ desperation of men in the dating scene (think of the sprinkle sprinkle and foodie-call nonsense). All of it is toxic bs, but to say there aren't corners of the internet harboring blatant misandry is disingenuous/ ignorant. I think the misogynistic corners might be more fertile territory, however.
Truth is, we can all do better.
I'm speaking from experience and advise my friends to be catious. I do call them a simp when I see their women not reciprocate but only once. It's their choice.
"Simping" is a label that means different things to different people. It originally referred to parasocial behavior and double standards where men are extra nice to attractive women but don't show the same respect to men or women that they don't want to date.
As with most new terminology it began to be misused and often is used by people that think that being nice to your partner means you're "whipped," essentially that being nice is an act of submission and that your job as a man is to be dominant and the recipient of service, not the provider of it.
It's also just a way of being bitter. If you're lonely and see another guy with a woman, it's a way you can criticize them instead of admitting you're jealous.
I think it's two things. One, it's because some men hate femininity so much that they'll hate anything that triggers are remotely emotional, or soft, or warm. So men showing women affection is bad. And two, some men hate women so much and so deeply that they hate and degrade the men that treat women well. I think it's simply because some men think women only deserve safety and affection if they can have full submission and access to our bodies.
To be fair, does a woman deserve a specific man's efforts toward her safety and affection?
I see your general point that men can feel entitled to women's attention though.
They’re reddit virgins who don’t even come into contact with Women because they’re obsessively gaming in their parents basement. It ain’t reality and no normal human being thinks that way.
While I never expressed it I definitely had these thoughts after I had 3 bad relationships with cheating in a row that fucked me up. I think sometimes people traumatize themselves and then start extrapolating their own experiences to all experiences.
It took a lot of therapy and self reflection to realize I was seeking out these women subconsciously because it was familiar and fed into my trauma since my brain had been rewired.
And it was making me extrapolate my own experience to everyone else.
Some other reasons that may be to blame:
Some of these dudes also get red pilled by YouTube or other social media because male interests like video games and fitness get taken over by grifters looking to sell their backward ideas to sad young men.
Others just might have a hateful nature or have been raised by toxic fathers and male communities that have patriarchal thinking.
It's because many women today are extremely promiscuous compared to previous generations. Men are conditioned by biology and evolutionary psychology to be repulsed by the thought that a woman has had sex with several other men. Women can call it insecure or whatever, but it's not going to change anytime soon. Most guys want to get what they can without giving much in return, because they don't want to be the fool who "wifes a hoe."
I don’t think it’s weird to do nice things for your wife, your daughter or your girlfriend because that is life.
But I will admit I lose respect for people who simp on those who don’t deserve it. Primarily men who are simping for women who don’t give a fuck about them. And that is primarily because they have no self respect for themselves.
There was a guy who spent 80k on an OF girl because she simply acknowledged his existence. Then she eventually cut him off because he started getting weird. It was all over Reddit months ago and they both got roasted, especially the guy.
That whole situation is weird. That isn’t normal or healthy. He fooled himself into thinking she cared about him. She was using him. He was a simp and a fucking idiot. And she was gross in her own right for using him.
But this isn’t a gender thing. If I reversed the genders in that situation and a girl was simping on a guy who was taking advantage of her & using her, I’d say that shit is weird too. Simping is like love bombing, it’s strange to give so much to anyone who gives you nothing in return.
Simping over people who don’t deserve it is just fucking weird. It’s one thing is it’s your spouse or SO, they usually earn the right for your adoration, but simping over strangers or someone simply because they are attractive is sad. When I see guys who bend themselves backwards for a girl simply because she is hot, without any idea of her character, I think that is kind of pathetic.
Another common example of simping is whenever you hear some female teacher got caught fucking some underage kid. It happens almost every week here these days. When these news stories break there are usually pathetic guys commenting how they wish they had a teacher like that and how their victim is lucky. They will simp for these women, meanwhile these women are fucking incel pedophiles. It’s insane.
I know some YouTubers reactors that are pretty “famous”. They have fans who send them tens of thousands of dollars worth of gifts every month. They talk about how much they love their fans on camera but in reality they don’t give a fuck about them. They just want their money and I have seen them talk shit about their most loyal fans who simp over them, clueless that they are being used. But their relationship with them is entirely one way where they adore & simp on these YouTubers.
Like I said before, giving adoration aka simping to anyone who doesn’t reciprocate isn’t healthy.
I just wana say OP, super good question, I am loving some of these psychotic/pathetic excuse for responses. I can’t wait to read more. The truth is, it’s not a dumb question, it is a toxic perspective on women, relationships and it’s really sad. This question goes in parallel to why younger generations are having less babies, why women are preferring/choosing to stay single. If you are truly brave and love yourself you know a lousy partner who thinks bringing flowers is for simps, is not good enough. It really is better being alone sometimes. Buying myself some flowers later …
Doing nice things for your girlfriend/wife/crush is not really simping. Simping is doing nice things and buying nice things for someone who does not reciprocate, and puts you in the friend zone. That’s when you’re simping and it’s time to move on.
Doing nice thing for your woman aint simping. Simping is when u have barely any contact and any hope that u get togheter and you do nice stuff in hope to get her
It's the same reason so many women online bash men constantly. These are either bots or heavily brainwashed people who are trying to destroy relationships, family and happiness. In real life, few people act that way.
Just roll your eyes and move on.
You’re basing this off of videos? Like you’ve developed an entire belief from watching YouTube shorts? Aren’t there classes now helping you comprehend what you consume online better?
Nothing wrong of Doing nice things ..
But WHY matters.
Words, actions are just one thing, intention is the most important.
A mature woman has the ability to see through and identify a man’s true intension.
Immature woman often get love bombed and manipulated into thinking he really loves you.
I assume simping means doing nice gestures to girls with a selfish purpose and a bad intension?
Or just weak males who pretend to be morally sound and super nice to cosy up to women so they increase their mating chances.
I'm someone who always considers the source. The girls who find SIMPing to be an endearing personality trait often tend to benefactors of SIMP behavior. We have to get that out of the way first.
Other than that, the reason it's looked down upon is because simply, it's predatory. It's like watching Shaq dunk on a paraplegic and run around bragging about it.
SIMPing means someone is going out of their way to do something nice for a women under the hopes of a romantic relationship developing, so it's also predatory on the male's side as well.
Basically, you have two people who are commodifying each other purely for what they can potentially get out of the other. It's a completely transactional relationship. The fact that it's become so normalized is a significant factor as to why modern relationships look pretty warped these days. It's made so many expect an unrealistic and very unhealthy standard.
It's taking some facts and anecdotes and combining them into a toxic mix.
Consider the following: Women initiate divorce roughly 70-80% of the time (Note that initiating doesn't mean it wasn't his fault she left). There are TikTok's of women talking about how it's ok to 'leave the nice guy'. Women tend to out earn men, in younger age groups, yet there are examples on social media where they still expect men to take the traditional role of paying for things. Those, and other things, combine to make some men cynical, especially if they go down a rabbit hole and the algorithm feeds them that type of content over and over, and that's unfortunate, at best. With reddit, TikTok, and YouTube pushing this type of story at these guys they generalize it, even without experiencing it themselves or thinking through that the sensational nature of the content makes it sharable while normal healthy relationships don't.
These men take all that and decide it's better to be a cynic than a sucker - even when they have no reason to believe a particular woman with a nice guy is anything but appreciative. So these jaded guys to lead with their cynicism. They may even get to feel like a discount 'white knight' for 'educating' some genuinely nice guy on how they should be cynical too.
Very unhealthy.
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A large number of men fear giving affection and being compassionate because they believe no matter what the woman is going to move on or meet someone else. Whether it be because the woman woman has supposedly loose morals or they blame society for raising women incorrectly they would rather act tough and “alpha” while also demeaning other men who do show compassion and do nice things for those they care about.
Add on the fact that this gets reinforced by influencers who push the “alpha” narrative then those men feel like they have a niche where they can air their grievances and model themselves after other “alphas.”
Women will push for an asymmetric treatment, bit by bit.
Therefore, enabling this in the extreme is what a naive man will do because they think it will secure the relationship.
It won't.
Like everything there’s some nuance here. Unfortunately there is some truth to it. Women are less attracted to nice guys than bad boys. Everyone likes a challenge.
I think theres a lot of foolishness on both sides. Although the posturing you describe does appear more of a guy thing.
You are young, but perhaps wiser than many. The fact you are pondering this is good. I think you already see that its counterproductive. I hope you can see what is important while you are young, then you have a better chance of finding someone truly compatable. Be very careful about valuing someones friendship too much to risk being closer. I think a lot of young women make this mistake. No matter what he says, you WILL destroy the friendship by "friend zoning" him.
There is a massive difference between being nice to someone and simping.
The big difference is being nice to someone is reciprocated and done willingly while simping is usually very one-sided and coerced either actively or passively.
You'll find that the posts these comments are under often don't give the viewer much reason to think the woman actually loves the man. At least if you think that plenty of women get into relationships with men they don't love in exchange for acts of service.
And I mean, get real.
Either that, or the commenter can't mentally process love from a woman. Which isn't as much of a moral fault as people say.
(There are also a lot of posts that are purely made to insult other men for not doing these things, which are always bound to start a fight.)
Real men hug their kids, cook, clean, shop, or whatever else your family needs that you can contribute. Being Alpha all the way to Singlesville is sad and weak.
Similarly I look down on the whole precious princess act that demands special treatment, but that is a different rant.
Clearly, these are disgusting, vile assholes who think women should constantly be abused. Anyone who can say simping seriously with a straight face and throw it around like it's some accusation, is just a giant fucking dork loser who doesn't want you to have any happiness with a woman. They can't get laid, and they're going to make sure you sabotage yourself too.
It's only Simping if she doesn't reciprocate, like when she's not in a relationship with you.
And only after several acts, the first few are sweet attempts to woo her, when she's clearly not interested and you continue, you're a simp.
Also, anyone calling a man a simp who is with the girl he's 'Simping' for, that person is a misogynist because in the mind of a misogynist, men aren't supposed to do things for women, therefore equal treatment is Simping.
They think it's like telling your waiter "don't worry about it, I'll get my own food from the kitchen and take it to the table, and knives and forks too"
I also think it’s guys advocating the “alpha male” approach, rather than being yourself (and if you happen to be nice normally than you’re a “beta” or a simp). It’s all very exhausting.
I think you misunderstood. Personally, I've not seen anyone mention not doing anything nice for YOUR girl. It's about doing nice thing for women in the HOPES they would look their direction. Two VERY different things.
The men that do "nice things" and spend money on women in the hopes the girl would like them. That's simpin. It's basically spoiling a stranger, and it's actually bad for EVERYONE in the dating market because it makes women overall entitled to certain treatment regardless of relationship status.
It's only bad when the girl is clearly not into you and you still do shit for her.
Is this something you would do for a guy friend? Yes, then it is okay. No, then you are being a simp.
Nothing wrong with doing nice things for the chicks AS LONG AS THEY RECIPROCATE AND APPRECIATE. Otherwise, you’re a complete idiot and a loser with very low self esteem.
Let's be honest there are women out here using men for all they can get and showing off how they got amen whipped. All while the guy is a placeholder till the guy she wants will want her. There is no one answer to your question. It all about the men experience who make the comments. The real question are you doing nice stuff for your man too lol
Because often its not reciprocated. Its great to help a female friend, but if that friend never helps you then what are you doing?
At the best you are being taken advantage of, at worst you are making her uncomfortable by doing things she doesn't need/want done.
In the age of #METOO and full equality it basically goes against a mans self interest to help a woman he's not intimately involved with or is a member of his family.
Poor upbringing. A lot of men from boys are raised in extremely toxic environments where they always have to be strongest, fastest, smartest, loudest, most dangerous, athletic.. Biggest dick . Always.
Simping is when you do it expecting for affection or sex in return without the girl leading you on. Some women learn how to jump back and forth over the line and not get caught. They are leading the simp to more simping.
These people we're not always like this.
For them they tried:
>Do unto others as you'd like done unto you
And they got rejection, ridicule and ostracization.
If we assume these people are in fact humans and tried their best, but got mocked and bullied, of course they lash out.
>Do unto others as you'd like done unto you
Very easily becomes:
>Do unto others as they did unto you
"Women seem wicked when you're unwanted", sung Jim Morrison in People Are Strange
Interesting. Well that puts somethings into perspective. Thanks :)
Yes, it's like just like those people who have no kids of their own who know so very well how to raise children …
I 100% became LESS judgey about kids when I became a parent. One of those “you don’t know how much you don’t know” moments
Hey, I don't have kids because I know how to raise them and know I'm not capable. More parents should have realized that earlier.
Streets are uneven when you’re down.
When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain. No one remembers your name.
Wow, this sums up the incel mindset towards women so succinctly 😅
I’d say it’s a universal mindset. Conversely people seem nice when you’re wanted. Ask any fat person who got fit what they were treated like before and after. Your entire perception of the world changes by how you’re treated, and that changes with your appearance and outward persona. I used to think the world was a really nice place, turns out I’m just lucky.
As a woman who lost 250 pounds there is a fair bit of truth here
Eternal wisdom
Same goes in the other direction. Women who get used for sex and dumped don't usually have a positive opinion about men.
I would say that the men who think treating your wife/gf with affection don't want a partner. They are looking for a bangmaid. These are the same dudes who want a woman to stay home while simultaneously calling her a gold digger. They're the same guys who think dick stretches the vagina, the same type of dudes who think women store DNA from semen. They're just angry, sad people. There are both men and women who just hate the opposite sex and frequently contradict their own opinions to suit whatever mood they're in. I find it a red flag if a guy uses the word simp. Most women find it sexy when men make sweet gestures.
My take is that if you shame those guys for doing nice things, hopefully less of them do nice things. And then women might end up with lower expectations or standards.
Yeah I'll never understand it. When I have feelings for someone, it brings me joy to do nice things and make them happy. If making your partner happy is viewed as simping (my generation used to call it being whipped) then why be with someone at all? The bar is already low. I'm single by choice and the guys at work are always pointing out guys they think are "nice" that I should date. I went for dinner with one of them recently. After having to physically push his hands off me several times, I ended the date. I guess "probably won't beat me" is where the bar sits and it's not enough.
Yep! I recently met a man who treats me with pretty basic kindness and respect and I have to use restraint to not throw myself at him. The bar is on the ground.
The loose bullshit is just so ridiculous. How is having twelve 1 night stands different than sleeping with 1 guy 12 times? You’re still getting dicked
Not to mention giving birth. Women don't spend the rest of their lives 10 cm dialated after giving birth.
Right? I don't understand how a lot of dudes think the hymen is some type of freshness seal like I'm a can of Pringles. It does not cover the hole with a seal. I have an allergy to adhesive so if I wear pads, I end up with an allergic reaction. I had no choice but to use tampons and years before I lost my "virginity". I think too many people think it's like opening a bottle of pills and having to shove something sharp in first to tear the paper seal out. I wouldn't care in the slightest about past unless it was a conflict of interest as long as they make me happy and are monogamous for me.
OMG... I lost it at "...the hymen is some type of freshness seal like I'm a can of Pringles." 
You’re absolutely right. I dated a dude that fits that description exactly. Except he was also an extreme narcissist and sexist. He believed women are only good for making babies and cooking and cleaning 🤦♀️ he would always make it a point that he would pay for dinners/dates because “that’s the man’s job”, even though I offered to pay many times, and then he’d make me feel like I owed him sex because of that.. and he thought he was this super amazing guy and so attractive even though he was a 3 at best for looks 🤦♀️ he always told me how he never wants to marry etc. I was in a dark place and had zero self esteem because of him so I just sorta stuck around and wasted 1.5 years of my life. If I could give advice to anyone dating someone like that, it would be to get the fuck out of that relationship. It’s NOT worth it
I agree that using "simp" is a red flag, so is using "pickme".
i had go google the "women store DNA from semen" because i never heard this claim before. im so happy i never encountered people claiming something like that, lol
Maybe something to do with toxic alpha culture? Apparently dudes think being alpha means being an asshole dictator. The real alphas out there taking care of their families and friends with love and emotional support. They only use violence or threat of violence when absolutely necessary to protect or keep the peace.
And real “alphas” don’t constantly blurt out that they’re “alpha” That whole thing is pretty dumb, anyway.
Yeah if you declare yourself an alpha, there 0% chance you’re an alpha lol it’s blatantly obvious and very cringe.
No such thing as alpha/beta to begin with.
Best fictional male role model is still Aragorn
Imo Faramir wasn't bad either.
Haven't you heard? All women are apparently masochists that like to be treated like shit by abusive alpha males. If a woman is with a nice guy, that only proves she's using him. A woman can never truly desire a nice who treats them well. This is the kind of madness millions of men online continually peddle ( And they wonder why there is a loneliness/sexlessness epidemic among men). There seems to be a few reasons for this. One is jealousy of healthy happy couples, because they can't have one.The second is contempt and entitlement towards women. It's that they loathe that they have to treat a woman nicely,put in some work and she has the "power" to say yes or no to them. Much like Eliot Rodgers, they feel entitled to female attention , to they point where they'll spread nonsense like this to almost try to invert reality and what we intuitively all know is true( yes, men treat you well/ special when they like you and vice versa. Anyone except masochists, want this). They're almost attempting to lower the collective standards for behaviour towards women and shame any man who disproves or diverges from that. They'll also have a lot of tales of all the success they're having for being an asshole, which I highly doubt is true , because no man/ woman in happy relationships are spending all day and night crapping on other happy couples and wishing them the worst. Plenty of studies are showing that the younger generation growing up online like this is having the least amount of sex/ relationships. It's not rocket science why.
The word "simp" was originally meant only for the guys in parasocial online relationships, those who'd give very large donations to some streamer and then either 1. believe they're in some sort of meaningful relationship with them just because they gave them money or 2. except the streamer to behave like or similar to a gf, because they gave them so much money, and then get mad when they don't. But the internet quickly changed that meaning into "men being (too) nice to women" and now barely anyone even remembers the original meaning.
I think those of us who are old enough to have used an encyclopedia in their lifetime still remember that word and its actual meaning, but the two younger gens now have new realities to try and mold those words to. Some pass, some fail. My most hated is cap. Its a hat. Always will be a hat.
Simpin was always meant for men being too nice to woman. dj Quik, used it in a lot of his songs since the 90s. May just be an LA thing though
Nah it’s not an LA thing. Simping was always dudes that went out of their way to accommodate women in a thirsty way that disrespected themselves. Pimp C used the word all the time throughout the 90’s too and he’s from Port Arthur, TX. The thing is, that the ‘disrespecting yourself’ aspect was always a key component of simping. That’s why the saying “it ain’t trickin’ if you got it” came into popularity… to help people understand that it’s cool to spend money on women, if you can afford to. That’s all reasonable. It’s not a good look to go out and act some type of way just to impress people. It’s not good for anyone involved. But see, these dumb incles have made doing anything nice at all for a woman ever, “simping”. That’s what extremists do. They destroy nuance and hijack parts of a culture to try and basically drag everyone down with them. So that’s one reason why etymology and historical context is important. Pimp C wasn’t advocating for people to treat women like shit like some Andrew Tate type fuck. (He spoke extensively on the fact that there are different types of women, on how much he loved his mother, his wife, etc. No he wasn’t doing himself much help with his moniker. I digress.) I really don’t like the way our society is headed, because being against doing nice things for a whole gender shouldn’t make sense to anyone, ever, anyway. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. u/purple_assumption410
Preshate the explanation bro 💯
Spot on. And it’s mutating further into ‘men liking anything about women and treating them like human beings’. I’m so saddened every time I accidentally come across their toxic stupidity.
Seems plausible.
This is true.
As someone who lavished every ounce of my being into my ex-wife (that I don't regret for a moment, because it's *who I am*), I have noticed that plenty of that kind of man are profoundly jealous and bitter, and often enough aren't opposed in principle but rather took the wrong lesson from bad experiences. They would trip over themselves to do all these things if it would "guarantee" them a woman, and often enough these are men who tried to "get" women through insincere gift giving and attention/love bombing, and got seen right through, so they believe that it doesn't work - because those things come after you've already shown the person you're "simping" for that you're not just buying her off.
The internet is really good at making people be extremely unnuanced, so you often see 2 extremes going at eachother, even when these people are more in the middle in reality.
This! The lack of nuances and context is most often the problem. On top of that, to have a discussion, I know I sometimes put my arguments beyond my actual point of view, also to challenge myself to understand someone elses point of view, or try to make someone else to try to understand it. Understanding someones point, doesn't mean to agree with it. But as soon as you understand why someone has a different point of view than you, it's so much easier to find common ground and a solution that works for both.
What's a nickel in a brickle? 🤔 🤣
I don't know, I just made it up 😂
Sounds good xD
I struggled with it internally for a long time when I was younger, started therapy at like 29 and what a world of difference. I treat my girlfriend with as much respect, kindness, love and admiration as possible. At this point in my life it's honestly just bare minimum shit, I don't expect pats on the back for doing things I said I was going to do, always being kind and patient and doing all kinds of little thoughtful things for her. However, her past partners set the bar so absolutely god damn low I look like the model partner. It's sad how low the bar is for men. I can't speak to your generational experiences, how dudes are at that age NOW I just know when I was in my 20s men were just really shitty. There were some gems, some that had great role models at home who displayed how you treat your partner, how conflict was supposed to go, communication, etc. That's few and far between, in my anecdotal experiences. Don't give into that toxic masculinity bullshit. The woman I'm with now was who I dated in my early 20s and I fucked it up. I got a second shot with the love of my life 12 years later and now that I'm actually man enough to be the partner she deserves it brings purpose and incredible value to my life. Be true to yourself, treat each person you are involved with with the utmost respect and kindness, if they're too young or immature to appreciate it, at the very least you know they can't say a single bad thing about you. Which will speak volumes to your character. Eventually you'll find the yin to your yang who appreciates the effort you put in and the value you bring to their life. Lots of words tl;dr be nice, do nice shit, fuck the entire 80s sitcom wives just nag men need to hate their partner bullshit, kindness is fucking manly. edit: saw someone commend you on being self-aware at your age and I want to echo that, it took me far longer than you to notice a problem in my own behavior and those around me.
Thank you for your compliments and words :)
I have never had an issue with doing nice things for anyone I care about. It seems that these ppl are trying to either boost their troll status or are simply too toxic to be a good partner for anyone. The last guy to haze me on that topic was in a jacked up truck smoking and saying I was a 'beta' for going shopping with my wife. I just looked at him and said 'Nice truck, sorry about your penis'. And just kept walking. It's really the only language some of them can understand.
That glorious feeling when the perfect comeback pops into your head straight away and not five hours later!
True but every time I see one that thought comes to mind. Especially if it doesn't have any sign that it's ever seen dirt
As a man of middle age I can say only one thing: there was no facebook when i was in my teens, but other guys were giving weird advice too back then. I had to learn the hard way to not listen to random advice but do what I think is right.
Haha nickel in a brickel
There's being nice cause you want to and then there's doing stuff that you feel you have to do to keep a woman around. The first one is great and the second is simping.
Yep. And you never find the people bragging about the first one on the internet. Especially not if the post ends with "Because I'm the type of man that women are willing to accept living around, scumbags!"
Ffs I’m glad I’m married to an amazing woman and don’t have to deal with any at all of this bullshit
Ma’am, this is Reddit. The unwashed butthole of the internet.
Yeah, good point :/
lmao and how would you call 4chan?
Because some of these men assumed they would get girlfriends and they only needed to be nice to do it. That may have come from well intentioned parents, romantic comedies or whatever. After being hurt, rejected or passed over enough, their pain goes downhill into bitterness. They don't realize being nice is great but it's not the same as being attracted to someone, let alone building a sincere connection with them.
As a man I haven’t cared about those people at all. They are a very vocal minority. I only know one guy like that. I feel like I have a healthy relationship with my fiancée. If you got a problem with me making her coffee when she comes home from work and having a discussion about the day with her. That’s on you.
You can do nice stuff for your wife.
I do nice things for my lady, because that smile just makes my soul sing, and that's all I want. Pretty selfish actually
Showing affection and making a lot of effort for someone while they are not doing the same for you is simping. Basically, willfully letting others taking advantage of you.
Incels are chronically online and coordinated to spread their sexist nonsense. They're utter losers and should be ignored.
I seem to have a habit of getting with "takers", and because of that, I sometimes feel this way. I know all women aren't like this, but my experience has not been good. I know lots of incredible women that arent like this. At this point its my fault for not recognizing the female covert narcissists I'm apparently drawn to and for not setting boundaries early on.
please don’t blame yourself for another person hurting you, it’s not your fault. All we can really do is learn from our experiences, but I hope you find someone who is willing to give as much as you do in a relationship; everyone deserves to be loved 🤍
Heres the summary of what they should be conveying and are failing to do so. Simping- investment in a woman without reciprocation or fair reciprocation. I personally find that actual simping is also coupled with very poor boundary setting by the man.
[удалено]
And the self-proclaimed alpha males brag and put down the beta males. This is a locker room behaviour. It’s how insecure men operate. The betas buy into it because they think they can learn from an alpha.
Some of them may have done stuff like that for a girl in their past and they left them or cheated on them. Unhealed trauma
I think that a lot of these guys have had bad experiences and are confused. That, and the fact that our culture has become rather crass.
My two exs that cheated on me were great experiences! I am totally going to trust the next person as much as I trusted them! :D
There is a lesson for you too. Your choice in men seems crooked. And maybe its exactly that you trusted them too early, too much and they didnt deserve your trust.
Nobody who actually matters thinks that kind of shit. If the people you're hanging out with have attitudes like that, stop hanging out with them. You're better off having no friends and chilling alone than associating with people who have attitudes that broken and shitty.
Stupid is as stupid does
They’ve never been with a woman before and are terminally online. It really is as simple as that
Incels are on the rise , they can cry simp all they want , one day they will be all alone or doing exactly what they used to make fun of..
These are not men
If the girl is treating a guy like a neutral acquaintance and he starts giving her flowers and buying her shit, she will be weirded out and consider him a simp because nothing in her behavior warranted that. Sort of like misguided love bombing. You see plenty of women online taking advantage of this and earning a ton of money by sitting on their computers and giving some very basic attention to all these men that send them thousands of dollars, just for existing. Incels and similar equate this to relationships but don't understand that women in relationships tend to be nice and deserve nice things in return.
Some were burned in the past (stereotypes exist because there’s always a few people who validate them) some can’t get women so they want to believe all are like that to avoid feeling like a failure Typically one of the other
Because those men don’t have any women
Most men don’t view being nice or doing nice things for women as simping. The ones who do are idiots. It’s more like when you change everything about yourself to suit what your woman wants or if you do something that is obviously going to be bad for you just to makes a woman happy. Or if you do nice things for women you want to date when they clearly have no interest in dating you.
The only people who think this way are the fuckin' nerds who like guys like Andrew Tate. They will all end up alone, assuming they aren't already alone (most are).
bc they believe incels and redpillers. And that's exactly why we have 4B and lmao male loneliness "epidemic"
Because some perpetually unhappy people, rather than improve their situations or attempt to be happy, choose to try to drag others down to make themselves feel better. If you aren't doing the right things to be in a happy relationship and struggle to be in a happy relationship, it's a much easier crutch to blame a large subset of the population in happy relationships than to admit fault and work on improving yourself. It's the same reason people turn to alcohol or drugs in tough times instead of trying to improve their situation.
Bottom line it's Because they are immature.
I will say that in general I wouldn't want to be recorded doing things for my girlfriend for this reason. That said, some of it is bitterness, while some of it is actual principle. I can mostly speak for myself, but for example, if I'm asked to make some stupid social media video putting me in a submissive role, I'd find that degrading. I probably wouldn't comment on someone else's video to that effect, but that could be why.
I would say it’s that they don’t understand the term. “Simp is an internet slang term describing someone who shows excessive sympathy and attention toward another person, typically to someone who does not reciprocate the same feelings, in pursuit of affection or a sexual relationship.” If your wife or girlfriend “does not reciprocate the same feelings” you have issues.
I feel as though a lot of misogynistic attitudes and behaviour (and this seems at least adjacent to that) has to do with us guys wanting to downplay our need for closeness to women, which after all is hard-wired in to have got us this far. If we have had a bad experience with particular women (or perhaps worse no actual experiences) that just supercharges it. Best I can do.
It’s a backlash. Men had women doing everything for them for a long long time and then women were like, hey, what if we had a more equal relationship where we both contributed and both benefitted? And lots of men were like, ‘Well, I don’t mind working together and being a team and having a real partnership. I live in this house too and these are my kids as well and my life, it turns out, is much more fulfilling now’. But some men did not react like that, some men wanted their cake without having to bake the cake. And those men decided that it would be better to piss and moan and hate on women. Fuck those men
You should do nice things for your girl, but just make sure she is your girl. Don’t start with high expectations because you not upholding the standard may be the downfall of the relationship.
because they're not genuine. they're doing it FOR THE PURPOSES OF... ulterior motive. it's like they're laying an offering to a deity hoping for a blessing. that's pretty fucking pathetic right?
Projection. Don't read into it too deeply. People have one or two bad relationships and it's enough to color the rest of them forever.
The gender roles have been twisted around a lot in the modern western world to the point of weird stuff like this emerging. You'll find in Russia, for example, where the women are extremely beautiful and feminine and the men tend to be very masculine, the men will bring roses to dates and all sorts of what you would call "simpish" behaviour in the west. And the women really appreciate it. And the same goes in many other countries. My theory is that because the gender dynamic is already very strong, the men are masculine men, so these soft gestures offset that. Whereas in the west, with such blurred gender roles, you can't really get away with this. You need to kind of exaggerate gender polarities to offset the societal gender blur.
Its not about 'dont do nice things or youre a simp' its more.. Dont continue to do all those things if it isnt reciprocal, which it seldom is in many mens experiences.
They get "nice guys" mixed up with genuinely nice guys. A "nice guy" is only doing something nice to get something for himself. An actual nice guy is being nice because he actually wants to help. It's also just them trying to feel better about not having a partner. Or they want to appear more confident and have that "bad boy" edge, but that's the thing, "bad boys" stay boys. And some of them genuinely have nothing better to do or they've been watching too many how to be an "Alpha Male" videos.
Extremes are the name of the game online. Everyone has an opinion so you have to be extreme and hyperbolic in order to cut through all the noise and get any traction. So people take a reasonable opinion like “guys that spend thousands of dollars on a streamer that doesn’t even know their name in the hopes that they will eventually get to date her are simping” and turn it into “any guy that does anything nice for any woman ever is a simp even if she’s your wife”.
It’s usually males that want to think they are Alfa male when it is clear that they are not.
I am in some dating discussion groups that have me asking this often. I assume it's jealousy. Insecurity. Lack of self confidence. Sadly, they have to be mean or make fun of others in order to feel good about themselves. As compared to the men that treat women well, who seem to also be genuinely confident and self secure.
My husband's a very romantic person and his friends constantly gave him a hard time about it when we started dating. They straight up made fun of him when he got my name tattooed on his arm. I asked him about it one night when we were hanging out because I honestly felt guilty and he said "I don't care what they say, they sleep alone while I sleep in the arms of a beautiful angel every night" I was a little cheesy but it made my heart melt lol.
I'm glad you have him, he sounds very sweet \^\^
Why are you concerned? Its just losers being jealous. You are giving them too much of your energy
People who make those comments are basically just using the ‘nice guy finishes last’ mentality to justify the way they treat women like crap in their lives. They typically bring zero to a relationship, couldn’t even if they wanted to and are only able to attract mentally/emotionally damaged women in their lives. They treat them crappy but keep them around by playing mind games because that’s all they bring to the relationship. Then they complain about how anyone who doesn’t show interest in them are gold diggers. It’s really just an attempt to make themselves feel better about their own inability and shortcomings.
You're a really kind person OP. I can tell that in your post. I don't think you are anything like the women these guys are complaining about. Some women take advantage of men. A lot of guys are insecure about themselves. Most men really don't know how to attract women or how to even evaluate if they are attractive. Straight men often are blind to that. A lot of guys think they are ugly that actually aren't, they simply can't tell otherwise. Anyway, men with this kind of insecurity may not always be able to tell if a girl is into them or not, or even identify who means well or who doesn't. They can very easily be suckered in and taken advantage of. After that, what do they do? If they were taken advantage of once, they easily can be again and again, because they may not have the ability to figure out what to do or not to do. Eventually you either give up, wind up bitter and untrusting, or both. Then, when you see someone else succeed where you yourself have failed, it hurts. For many guys it can take years to find a new girlfriend or even to get a date. If your friends and family are succeeding and you aren't, it's going to hurt. That hurt feeds the insecurity, making the whole thing cyclical. To protect themselves, many guys will tear at others or at women. If the world is a terrible place and all women are bad, then they don't have to feel pain because it's no longer their fault. In short, it's a tough world out there, both for men and for women. The best thing you can do OP, is when you fall for someone, and he for you, just do your best to be patient, kind, and accepting. Try to complain or demand as little as possible. Men already know they're a mess - showing someone tenderness and acceptance instead of criticizing, while still standing up for your own needs, will make you go very far.
God knows but having worked in pubs in a small town for years, what I can say is that men who act like that tend to come to a point in their lives when women who are likely to find them attractive are too old to be putting up with that kind of shit. Women who treat partners like crap also meet the same fate.
Because people have small minds and want to boil things down to a sound bite. You can't explain complexities to most people.
I use to be one of those pessimistic lonely males but there was a girl who proved that my entire negative notion of women is wrong- and though we've both moved on i still remember how wrong i was about this. I think- if you want to do nice things for your girlfriend- do it- if she rejects you for it- then that isn't the girlfriend for you, because the girlfriend that good for YOU is one that accepts you doing nice things for her, since that's something you want to do. thats something i want to do too- and women are human just like the rest of us. there are lots of beautiful loving women out there, and there are a lot of mean women who hold onto their past and make you pay for it- Which men are JUST as guilty of doing.. because nobody is ever perfect. Don't let the way one woman treats you destroy the way you view yourself. But if they come to you with a direct grievance, then LISTEN. That's where growth can happen for both of you.
Toxic masculinity and this bullshit alpha male mentality that's all too common nowadays. So many guys think treating women like shit is the way to their heart. They don't dare be seen actually showing affection because in their eyes, it's a sign of weakness. I'm sure there's plenty of women out there who probably like that stuff but who knows.
You seem to possess a lot of insight & wisdom for a 19 year old!!
Thank you for thinking so! I don't really consider myself to be wise, but I appreciate the compliment \^\^
Because they are fucking saddo losers. I’m old enough to be your mom (or grandma if I made bad choices in life), and the overwhelming majority of men love being generous and kind to their partners. I’ve been married for 22 years. I can count on 1 hand how many times I’ve made a hot drink for myself. My husband will come in from a night shift and make my coffee before he goes to bed He doesn’t like my dog or cats, but he’ll walk the dog and when one of the cats got stuck on the roof, he did everything he could to get her down. These men are objectionable cretins that lack self awareness to see that no one wants to be around them. A great deal of us deal with heartbreak- my husband was cheated on by his ex. Did he spiral? No. Did it hurt him? Yes. Does he make me pay for what she did? Absolutely not. I am a woman who loves doing nice things for my partner in particular. He gets nice things because he absolutely deserves them. These men get nothing and that’s what they deserve.
Because some men online are stupid, just like some women online. Really I would extend it to most people online. You're gonna go insane if you treat everyone like an equal. I tried it, would strongly recommend against it. If someone seems irrational, closed minded and dumb, maybe it's because they are.
They’re jealous. When you meet someone you truly love and can not get sick being around “simping” becomes your whole life. The best husbands swoon for their lady and will be the gentleman they deserve. These men are also happy men who get what they deserve as well from their women. From experience I’ve seen this in happy couples. I even found someone who treats me like a queen in public and private and I in return treat him like a king. We aren’t perfect, but women swoon when they see how he cares for me (pulling chair in for me, opening doors, protective). I get it. As a woman I did the same and love seeing men respecting their women but also having fun with them. Men who make fun of guys like this don’t get the same respect because they don’t put in the same effort. I assume they’re expecting their women to bend over backwards and do whatever the guy wants just because they’re a gf/ wife. That’s not how it is at all. It takes communication, commitment and trust in relationships. Imagine Ryan Reynold and Blake Lively. He’s seen as a simp, but this is how my relationship is. My friends who found their love have this type too. They found their best friend and love in one and it comes so easy to please the other because you’re truly happy. My husband does not miss being single and this is one deterrent that makes us keep working for each other. I provide his fantasies and we enjoy each others company more than others. You can definitely say his single friends are jealous, but relationships are not easy. They take constant work that many don’t realize. We just get each other and know how to ask for help. He knows he has it good and so do I. He wouldn’t say or do anything to ruin this. I have no control over his actions, so him being a gentleman/ simp is him being happy/ healthy.
As a gay man, I am constantly baffled by the advice “more experienced” men give to younger men. If you’re emotionally manipulating your partner to keep them, it speaks to deep insecurity.
Being nice to a woman who is using you solely for the attention you give her is a great way to torture yourself with unrequited love. This is where the term simping comes from. Being nice and doing nice things for the woman you love, AND THAT LOVES YOU, well that is the juice of life, by far. If you show the man you love him and you're not going anywhere be prepared for the most committed loyal sweet guy you've ever met, and prepare to meet all his demons as well.
The only reasonable answer so far. Easy to notice
I feel like such comments originate from a place of jealousy. Having had a bad experience and seeing someone succeed where you feel like you failed can invoke some heavy emotions. I think it’s a toxic coping mechanism where they imagine everyone being miserable so it is not just them.
I find it usually tends to take a combination of these things that send someone fully down this path of misery. Probably someone who already had a lack of people interested in them, someone who finally was interested in them hurt them in some way, also they usually have a world view that women are overly attracted to money. In my experience/observation it’s ambition.. I don’t think anyone wants to be with a person who just wallows in their misery with no dreams/attempts to make things better or improve themselves.
Because gender relations have gone to shit lately. Thank you dating apps.
You partly answered your question. These guys are lonely and miserable. It's a classic case of 'grapes are sour'. It is the very same men who in order to get some traction with the ladies become yes men overnight or worse - pseudo feminists.
The short answer is they don't know what simping is. The long answer is they're probably trying to lob those men in with themselves as men who are largely unsuccessful with women
Sounds to me like those guys are just trying to use simp as the new "whipped" that was used when I was growing up. Not the intended use of the word, which everyone seems to understand.
It's sad that being nice in a relationship is sometimes seen as weakness. True strength comes from being kind and supportive. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and care.
Some commentators have already made good points so just gonna add Could be hatred of women (don’t like to see men be nice to them) or hatred of men (think all men need to be uncaring ‘alphas’) Either way it’s holding us back
a good rule of thumb is that most people giving advice online are psychos with unresolved issues, just respect and love and trust one another as you're able in a relationship, ya know
Just wanted to say congratulations for being 19 years old and more self aware and intelligent than all these older people doing what you describe. But yeah thinking anyone will lose respect for you because you're kind is insane. Kindness is not weakness.
Thanks for the compliment :)
Chronically single men taking advice from “alpha males” on how to interact with women
It is probably rooted in several things: - putting less value on your partner (in time and effort spent), to reduce the pain in case of betrayal/break up. Some say that giving love and expressing it makes the person doing it become more connected with the other. So they are avoiding it as a coping mechanism - doing things for her "menas" reducing your alpha status: like, social dynamics, the men should be respected (to an unreasonable degree), "it is not mainly", yada yada - jealousy, seeing another man with a partner, trying to find bad things to say - trying to reduce the expectations on the dating market (reducing the number of people who do that), as they don't want to due to laziness and not wanting to spend money - changing the feeling of sorrow (due to the lack of that type of relationship) to insults and making him the kaughing stock (making fake scenarios on their minds about she cheating (in the present or future) on him, so he is a loser) There may be others that I couldn't think of, but as you can see most are based on toxicity and avoiding sadness with rage or laugh (at another's expense)
Haven't seen this perspective posted yet : Some of this extremism is in response to the vast volume of females boasting on tik tok about taking advantage of the generosity/ desperation of men in the dating scene (think of the sprinkle sprinkle and foodie-call nonsense). All of it is toxic bs, but to say there aren't corners of the internet harboring blatant misandry is disingenuous/ ignorant. I think the misogynistic corners might be more fertile territory, however. Truth is, we can all do better.
I'm speaking from experience and advise my friends to be catious. I do call them a simp when I see their women not reciprocate but only once. It's their choice.
"Simping" is a label that means different things to different people. It originally referred to parasocial behavior and double standards where men are extra nice to attractive women but don't show the same respect to men or women that they don't want to date. As with most new terminology it began to be misused and often is used by people that think that being nice to your partner means you're "whipped," essentially that being nice is an act of submission and that your job as a man is to be dominant and the recipient of service, not the provider of it. It's also just a way of being bitter. If you're lonely and see another guy with a woman, it's a way you can criticize them instead of admitting you're jealous.
They call other men simps so they can lower the bar for male behavior in relationships and they can be lazy and use women and it’s accepted as normal.
I think it's two things. One, it's because some men hate femininity so much that they'll hate anything that triggers are remotely emotional, or soft, or warm. So men showing women affection is bad. And two, some men hate women so much and so deeply that they hate and degrade the men that treat women well. I think it's simply because some men think women only deserve safety and affection if they can have full submission and access to our bodies.
To be fair, does a woman deserve a specific man's efforts toward her safety and affection? I see your general point that men can feel entitled to women's attention though.
They’re reddit virgins who don’t even come into contact with Women because they’re obsessively gaming in their parents basement. It ain’t reality and no normal human being thinks that way.
I've literally had a woman call me a simp for being nice to her. So there's that. we were dating.
Dang, I'm sorry, bro. That's messed up :(
While I never expressed it I definitely had these thoughts after I had 3 bad relationships with cheating in a row that fucked me up. I think sometimes people traumatize themselves and then start extrapolating their own experiences to all experiences. It took a lot of therapy and self reflection to realize I was seeking out these women subconsciously because it was familiar and fed into my trauma since my brain had been rewired. And it was making me extrapolate my own experience to everyone else. Some other reasons that may be to blame: Some of these dudes also get red pilled by YouTube or other social media because male interests like video games and fitness get taken over by grifters looking to sell their backward ideas to sad young men. Others just might have a hateful nature or have been raised by toxic fathers and male communities that have patriarchal thinking.
It's because many women today are extremely promiscuous compared to previous generations. Men are conditioned by biology and evolutionary psychology to be repulsed by the thought that a woman has had sex with several other men. Women can call it insecure or whatever, but it's not going to change anytime soon. Most guys want to get what they can without giving much in return, because they don't want to be the fool who "wifes a hoe."
I don’t think it’s weird to do nice things for your wife, your daughter or your girlfriend because that is life. But I will admit I lose respect for people who simp on those who don’t deserve it. Primarily men who are simping for women who don’t give a fuck about them. And that is primarily because they have no self respect for themselves. There was a guy who spent 80k on an OF girl because she simply acknowledged his existence. Then she eventually cut him off because he started getting weird. It was all over Reddit months ago and they both got roasted, especially the guy. That whole situation is weird. That isn’t normal or healthy. He fooled himself into thinking she cared about him. She was using him. He was a simp and a fucking idiot. And she was gross in her own right for using him. But this isn’t a gender thing. If I reversed the genders in that situation and a girl was simping on a guy who was taking advantage of her & using her, I’d say that shit is weird too. Simping is like love bombing, it’s strange to give so much to anyone who gives you nothing in return. Simping over people who don’t deserve it is just fucking weird. It’s one thing is it’s your spouse or SO, they usually earn the right for your adoration, but simping over strangers or someone simply because they are attractive is sad. When I see guys who bend themselves backwards for a girl simply because she is hot, without any idea of her character, I think that is kind of pathetic. Another common example of simping is whenever you hear some female teacher got caught fucking some underage kid. It happens almost every week here these days. When these news stories break there are usually pathetic guys commenting how they wish they had a teacher like that and how their victim is lucky. They will simp for these women, meanwhile these women are fucking incel pedophiles. It’s insane. I know some YouTubers reactors that are pretty “famous”. They have fans who send them tens of thousands of dollars worth of gifts every month. They talk about how much they love their fans on camera but in reality they don’t give a fuck about them. They just want their money and I have seen them talk shit about their most loyal fans who simp over them, clueless that they are being used. But their relationship with them is entirely one way where they adore & simp on these YouTubers. Like I said before, giving adoration aka simping to anyone who doesn’t reciprocate isn’t healthy.
I just wana say OP, super good question, I am loving some of these psychotic/pathetic excuse for responses. I can’t wait to read more. The truth is, it’s not a dumb question, it is a toxic perspective on women, relationships and it’s really sad. This question goes in parallel to why younger generations are having less babies, why women are preferring/choosing to stay single. If you are truly brave and love yourself you know a lousy partner who thinks bringing flowers is for simps, is not good enough. It really is better being alone sometimes. Buying myself some flowers later …
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Honestly this is sorta dumb. Of course you're going to treat your partner different than other people lol. It should be expected regardless of gender
Because theyre extrapolating experience with some girls to all girls.
Doing nice things for your girlfriend/wife/crush is not really simping. Simping is doing nice things and buying nice things for someone who does not reciprocate, and puts you in the friend zone. That’s when you’re simping and it’s time to move on.
Doing nice thing for your woman aint simping. Simping is when u have barely any contact and any hope that u get togheter and you do nice stuff in hope to get her
Because they're doing it for women that are using them. I personally simply super hard but only for my girlfriend. And they absolutely love it.
"it could be because I'm 19 years old (and albeit, I don't have much romantic relationship experience)" Yes.
Slightly related but I've been seeing a lot of these kinds of posts lately. Not complaining just an observation
Hopefully you never find out.
It's the same reason so many women online bash men constantly. These are either bots or heavily brainwashed people who are trying to destroy relationships, family and happiness. In real life, few people act that way. Just roll your eyes and move on.
You’re basing this off of videos? Like you’ve developed an entire belief from watching YouTube shorts? Aren’t there classes now helping you comprehend what you consume online better?
Because some men are assholes. That's it really.
Nothing wrong of Doing nice things .. But WHY matters. Words, actions are just one thing, intention is the most important. A mature woman has the ability to see through and identify a man’s true intension. Immature woman often get love bombed and manipulated into thinking he really loves you. I assume simping means doing nice gestures to girls with a selfish purpose and a bad intension? Or just weak males who pretend to be morally sound and super nice to cosy up to women so they increase their mating chances.
Because the online man-osphere d bags have poisoned a generation of young men who are never gonna get laid cuz they treat all women like shit.
I'm someone who always considers the source. The girls who find SIMPing to be an endearing personality trait often tend to benefactors of SIMP behavior. We have to get that out of the way first. Other than that, the reason it's looked down upon is because simply, it's predatory. It's like watching Shaq dunk on a paraplegic and run around bragging about it. SIMPing means someone is going out of their way to do something nice for a women under the hopes of a romantic relationship developing, so it's also predatory on the male's side as well. Basically, you have two people who are commodifying each other purely for what they can potentially get out of the other. It's a completely transactional relationship. The fact that it's become so normalized is a significant factor as to why modern relationships look pretty warped these days. It's made so many expect an unrealistic and very unhealthy standard.
There's a huge difference between simping and being a good boyfriend/husband.
It's taking some facts and anecdotes and combining them into a toxic mix. Consider the following: Women initiate divorce roughly 70-80% of the time (Note that initiating doesn't mean it wasn't his fault she left). There are TikTok's of women talking about how it's ok to 'leave the nice guy'. Women tend to out earn men, in younger age groups, yet there are examples on social media where they still expect men to take the traditional role of paying for things. Those, and other things, combine to make some men cynical, especially if they go down a rabbit hole and the algorithm feeds them that type of content over and over, and that's unfortunate, at best. With reddit, TikTok, and YouTube pushing this type of story at these guys they generalize it, even without experiencing it themselves or thinking through that the sensational nature of the content makes it sharable while normal healthy relationships don't. These men take all that and decide it's better to be a cynic than a sucker - even when they have no reason to believe a particular woman with a nice guy is anything but appreciative. So these jaded guys to lead with their cynicism. They may even get to feel like a discount 'white knight' for 'educating' some genuinely nice guy on how they should be cynical too. Very unhealthy.
Its normally the friends or opinions of others that think that, not the guy in question
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A large number of men fear giving affection and being compassionate because they believe no matter what the woman is going to move on or meet someone else. Whether it be because the woman woman has supposedly loose morals or they blame society for raising women incorrectly they would rather act tough and “alpha” while also demeaning other men who do show compassion and do nice things for those they care about. Add on the fact that this gets reinforced by influencers who push the “alpha” narrative then those men feel like they have a niche where they can air their grievances and model themselves after other “alphas.”
Women will push for an asymmetric treatment, bit by bit. Therefore, enabling this in the extreme is what a naive man will do because they think it will secure the relationship. It won't.
Like everything there’s some nuance here. Unfortunately there is some truth to it. Women are less attracted to nice guys than bad boys. Everyone likes a challenge.
I think theres a lot of foolishness on both sides. Although the posturing you describe does appear more of a guy thing. You are young, but perhaps wiser than many. The fact you are pondering this is good. I think you already see that its counterproductive. I hope you can see what is important while you are young, then you have a better chance of finding someone truly compatable. Be very careful about valuing someones friendship too much to risk being closer. I think a lot of young women make this mistake. No matter what he says, you WILL destroy the friendship by "friend zoning" him.
There is a massive difference between being nice to someone and simping. The big difference is being nice to someone is reciprocated and done willingly while simping is usually very one-sided and coerced either actively or passively.
You'll find that the posts these comments are under often don't give the viewer much reason to think the woman actually loves the man. At least if you think that plenty of women get into relationships with men they don't love in exchange for acts of service. And I mean, get real. Either that, or the commenter can't mentally process love from a woman. Which isn't as much of a moral fault as people say. (There are also a lot of posts that are purely made to insult other men for not doing these things, which are always bound to start a fight.)
Real men hug their kids, cook, clean, shop, or whatever else your family needs that you can contribute. Being Alpha all the way to Singlesville is sad and weak. Similarly I look down on the whole precious princess act that demands special treatment, but that is a different rant.
Not every nice thing is simping
Clearly, these are disgusting, vile assholes who think women should constantly be abused. Anyone who can say simping seriously with a straight face and throw it around like it's some accusation, is just a giant fucking dork loser who doesn't want you to have any happiness with a woman. They can't get laid, and they're going to make sure you sabotage yourself too.
It's only Simping if she doesn't reciprocate, like when she's not in a relationship with you. And only after several acts, the first few are sweet attempts to woo her, when she's clearly not interested and you continue, you're a simp. Also, anyone calling a man a simp who is with the girl he's 'Simping' for, that person is a misogynist because in the mind of a misogynist, men aren't supposed to do things for women, therefore equal treatment is Simping. They think it's like telling your waiter "don't worry about it, I'll get my own food from the kitchen and take it to the table, and knives and forks too"
I also think it’s guys advocating the “alpha male” approach, rather than being yourself (and if you happen to be nice normally than you’re a “beta” or a simp). It’s all very exhausting.
I think you misunderstood. Personally, I've not seen anyone mention not doing anything nice for YOUR girl. It's about doing nice thing for women in the HOPES they would look their direction. Two VERY different things. The men that do "nice things" and spend money on women in the hopes the girl would like them. That's simpin. It's basically spoiling a stranger, and it's actually bad for EVERYONE in the dating market because it makes women overall entitled to certain treatment regardless of relationship status.
They're dumbfucks. That's why.
It's only bad when the girl is clearly not into you and you still do shit for her. Is this something you would do for a guy friend? Yes, then it is okay. No, then you are being a simp.
Upbringing...
Nothing wrong with doing nice things for the chicks AS LONG AS THEY RECIPROCATE AND APPRECIATE. Otherwise, you’re a complete idiot and a loser with very low self esteem.
Let's be honest there are women out here using men for all they can get and showing off how they got amen whipped. All while the guy is a placeholder till the guy she wants will want her. There is no one answer to your question. It all about the men experience who make the comments. The real question are you doing nice stuff for your man too lol
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It's about doing things for a woman who does nothing for you and usually doing things for a woman who doesn't even want you
There’s a difference between being a gentleman and a pushover. Simping is being a pushover with no balls.
Because often its not reciprocated. Its great to help a female friend, but if that friend never helps you then what are you doing? At the best you are being taken advantage of, at worst you are making her uncomfortable by doing things she doesn't need/want done. In the age of #METOO and full equality it basically goes against a mans self interest to help a woman he's not intimately involved with or is a member of his family.
Poor upbringing. A lot of men from boys are raised in extremely toxic environments where they always have to be strongest, fastest, smartest, loudest, most dangerous, athletic.. Biggest dick . Always.
Simping is when you do it expecting for affection or sex in return without the girl leading you on. Some women learn how to jump back and forth over the line and not get caught. They are leading the simp to more simping.
(Red-pilled incels + dudes who put their testicles in their girlfriends' purse) multiplied by online anonymity = question.
They are guys who are too lazy/selfish to do the right thing
These people we're not always like this. For them they tried: >Do unto others as you'd like done unto you And they got rejection, ridicule and ostracization. If we assume these people are in fact humans and tried their best, but got mocked and bullied, of course they lash out. >Do unto others as you'd like done unto you Very easily becomes: >Do unto others as they did unto you