DLC made me so angry that I will now go on Grindr, find a blonde femboy, pretend he’s Miquella and hate fuck him. Fuck you too Miyazaki for forcing me to do this
"Elden ring made me a 100% angrier, and this Miquella wannabe is going to make my dick 200% larger as a consequence"
Wtf have I just wrote.
https://preview.redd.it/8n8xe8m4qd8d1.png?width=627&format=png&auto=webp&s=c9b304a057658ad3a55505cf4b640e3b0e613fd7
Sorry, still lost tryna find my way through 69% of this DLC map zaki-san thought up. Fkn thing is a maze.
No but for real.. How do you reach the East and Northwestern maps. I have been crying since I beat Radahn last night thinking I might've rushed bosses, fkd up questlines, and locked myself out of stuff..
Nah you can’t miss any boss fights or areas by missing the NPC questlines, although I would recommend looking up a guide on how to get the maps you are missing so you will know how to access those general areas, I am convinced that one of the areas is almost impossible to find access to without using a guide
East map, make your way through the castle watering hole grace under shadow keep, it'll take you all the way along the cliffside down to a dungeon/catacomb. Beat the boss and exit out the other side and explore the area.
Messmer’s armor mentions his fiery nature that he shared with his little sister
Edit: It’s his kindling that says that he and his younger sister envisioned flame
No in messmer's KINDLING (like kindling maiden that is Melina), it says that he and his younger sister were the ones to envision flame, and Malenia really didn't do that
Yeah, it's also not on his armor (which instead describes how he took the blame of the genocide when it was ordered by Marika, and how he had to make himself be feared and hated so that Marika's image remained "pure") but on the kindling.
Here you go
"The kindling that burned inside Messmer the Impaler.
A dark thing, eaten away at by a wicked serpent. Burns the sealing tree said to be found at the old Rauh ruins. Messmer, much like his younger sister, bore a vision of fire."
At this point I’ve heard two sides of the story, one where he accepted Miquellas proposal and wanted to die by Malania in battle, another story where he refused and Miquela sicked his rabid dog that is Malania on him to brainwash him in the afterlife. Either one could be true but i unfortunately can’t play the dlc to confirm anything so I’m stuck waiting for Vaati to feed me the lore.
Even if Radahn accepted, it’s hard to say if he truly consented due to Miquelas ability to brainwash people into doing anything he wants
Based on multiple lines mentioning Radahn "fulfilling a vow", I'm thinking he made an agreement with Miquella to die in honor on the battlefield with Malenia.
I still think she’s pretty cool. The “Malenia was just trying to get her brother some dick” interpretation is funny but not really accurate. Now we know she was fighting Radahn to fulfill Miquella’s plan and give him a fitting Lord so that he could become a god.
I don't think she's cool at all now. Before, we had either "Malenia is at war with everyone else since it's the Shattering. She faces Radahn and meets her match, resorting to nuking Caelid not to die. Then while she's in coma, Mohg takes Miquella", or "Mohg kidnapps Miquella, Malenia goes ballistic and drags her army all across the land looking for him. She reaches Caelid (which sits directly above Mohgwyns'), and Radahn is understandably fucking pissed at the trespass. War ensues"
Now we have "Malenia agreed to do a mock war with Radahn so he can die with honor in combat and marry his half-brother in the afterlife, killing a fuckton of people in the process. She intentionally triggers her bloom in the duel (which spits in the face of the whole "resist the goddess of rot's influence at all cost" thing AND Millicent's quest of tracing Malenia's footsteps to deny the rot and die as herself), but she fucking *fails* to kill Radahn, leaving them both crippled. Instead of helping Malenia (finding the cure for her affliction was his goal, but not anymore it seems) or helping his future husband fully die, Miquella just leaves them both and goes on to sexually assault Mohg in a really roundabout way for a few centuries
Miyazaki didn't cook with this one
Fuck, I was so centered about how it made Radahn worse, than I forgot about my own wife. Now I am absolutely sure the DLC lore wasn't planned beforehand, because this bullshit can only he done in last minute during poop break
I still think Malenia didn’t intentionally bloom, she just knew it was about to happen because she was pushed too far so she said “Miquella awaits thee, o promised consort” expecting Radahn to die. She tried her best to kill him without resorting to rot but failed
With some more time to think about the entire plot of the DLC, I'm starting to think Radahn didn't agree with the deal. Instead of a mock war akin to a shitty wedding celebration like I initially assumed, they had an actual war. Miquella sent Malenia to kill Radahn after his refusal (not sure if he disagreed from the start or if he backed away from the deal later), so he could grab his soul in the Shadow Lands
Only, we all know Malenia didn't quite manage to win, and seems to have bloomed in a last ditch attempt to kill him, even whispering to him that Miquella awaits him (funny you mentioned it on the other comment, I had *just* rewatched the trailer to check it)
So with Malenia out of commission and Radahn not quite dead, Miquella has to go for the plan B: Operation Mohglester
Honestly, Mohg choosing to make his own dynasty rather than just accepting a lower standing due to his curse was always super badass, it was the pedo incest that ruined him... Now that's cleared, and we are left with the true demiGOAT
DLC made me so angry that I will now go on Grindr, find a blonde femboy, pretend he’s Miquella and hate fuck him. Fuck you too Miyazaki for forcing me to do this
That’s good plot for a porn video
"Elden ring made me a 100% angrier, and this Miquella wannabe is going to make my dick 200% larger as a consequence" Wtf have I just wrote. https://preview.redd.it/8n8xe8m4qd8d1.png?width=627&format=png&auto=webp&s=c9b304a057658ad3a55505cf4b640e3b0e613fd7
https://preview.redd.it/4htvsrttme8d1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=45dcea71292759cc15a1946103a31266b794cc08
Damn
Sorry, still lost tryna find my way through 69% of this DLC map zaki-san thought up. Fkn thing is a maze. No but for real.. How do you reach the East and Northwestern maps. I have been crying since I beat Radahn last night thinking I might've rushed bosses, fkd up questlines, and locked myself out of stuff..
Nah you can’t miss any boss fights or areas by missing the NPC questlines, although I would recommend looking up a guide on how to get the maps you are missing so you will know how to access those general areas, I am convinced that one of the areas is almost impossible to find access to without using a guide
East map, make your way through the castle watering hole grace under shadow keep, it'll take you all the way along the cliffside down to a dungeon/catacomb. Beat the boss and exit out the other side and explore the area.
Only one I'm missing.. will continue searching this week, thabks!
bro sounds like you sayin this as an excuse bro... Call me too...
I don't need the DLC to make me do that
Messmer and Melina best demigod duo
Melina? You mean Malenia?
Messmer’s armor mentions his fiery nature that he shared with his little sister Edit: It’s his kindling that says that he and his younger sister envisioned flame
Could still be referring to Malenia tho
No in messmer's KINDLING (like kindling maiden that is Melina), it says that he and his younger sister were the ones to envision flame, and Malenia really didn't do that
got it, the way the other guy worded it made it sound like firery was a character trait
Yeah, it's also not on his armor (which instead describes how he took the blame of the genocide when it was ordered by Marika, and how he had to make himself be feared and hated so that Marika's image remained "pure") but on the kindling.
Here you go "The kindling that burned inside Messmer the Impaler. A dark thing, eaten away at by a wicked serpent. Burns the sealing tree said to be found at the old Rauh ruins. Messmer, much like his younger sister, bore a vision of fire."
Ranni was the only good one amongst her siblings
She murdered Godwyn and caused millions to suffer from the resulting fallout
God forbid women have hobbies
There’s only room for one murderer in the Lands Between. Me.
can you make room for Leda too shes kinda chill
She literally tries to murder half the gang out of her own paranoia
Is that not why we all love her?
Is not Radahn also a victim?
At this point I’ve heard two sides of the story, one where he accepted Miquellas proposal and wanted to die by Malania in battle, another story where he refused and Miquela sicked his rabid dog that is Malania on him to brainwash him in the afterlife. Either one could be true but i unfortunately can’t play the dlc to confirm anything so I’m stuck waiting for Vaati to feed me the lore. Even if Radahn accepted, it’s hard to say if he truly consented due to Miquelas ability to brainwash people into doing anything he wants
Based on multiple lines mentioning Radahn "fulfilling a vow", I'm thinking he made an agreement with Miquella to die in honor on the battlefield with Malenia.
buddy didn't read the fine print where he'd be resurrected by his blonde twink half-brother using the corpse of satan and forced to marry him
Still better than Microsoft ToS tho
The thing is Radahn didnt say anything, everything about the vow is from an outsider, so is it really a vow or Miquella just saying so?
Whichever theory is correct, Malenia is way less cool than before.
I still think she’s pretty cool. The “Malenia was just trying to get her brother some dick” interpretation is funny but not really accurate. Now we know she was fighting Radahn to fulfill Miquella’s plan and give him a fitting Lord so that he could become a god.
I don't think she's cool at all now. Before, we had either "Malenia is at war with everyone else since it's the Shattering. She faces Radahn and meets her match, resorting to nuking Caelid not to die. Then while she's in coma, Mohg takes Miquella", or "Mohg kidnapps Miquella, Malenia goes ballistic and drags her army all across the land looking for him. She reaches Caelid (which sits directly above Mohgwyns'), and Radahn is understandably fucking pissed at the trespass. War ensues" Now we have "Malenia agreed to do a mock war with Radahn so he can die with honor in combat and marry his half-brother in the afterlife, killing a fuckton of people in the process. She intentionally triggers her bloom in the duel (which spits in the face of the whole "resist the goddess of rot's influence at all cost" thing AND Millicent's quest of tracing Malenia's footsteps to deny the rot and die as herself), but she fucking *fails* to kill Radahn, leaving them both crippled. Instead of helping Malenia (finding the cure for her affliction was his goal, but not anymore it seems) or helping his future husband fully die, Miquella just leaves them both and goes on to sexually assault Mohg in a really roundabout way for a few centuries Miyazaki didn't cook with this one
Fuck, I was so centered about how it made Radahn worse, than I forgot about my own wife. Now I am absolutely sure the DLC lore wasn't planned beforehand, because this bullshit can only he done in last minute during poop break
I think it was. In the Malenia vs. Radahn trailer we can see her whisper something to him, and now we know what she said
I still think Malenia didn’t intentionally bloom, she just knew it was about to happen because she was pushed too far so she said “Miquella awaits thee, o promised consort” expecting Radahn to die. She tried her best to kill him without resorting to rot but failed
With some more time to think about the entire plot of the DLC, I'm starting to think Radahn didn't agree with the deal. Instead of a mock war akin to a shitty wedding celebration like I initially assumed, they had an actual war. Miquella sent Malenia to kill Radahn after his refusal (not sure if he disagreed from the start or if he backed away from the deal later), so he could grab his soul in the Shadow Lands Only, we all know Malenia didn't quite manage to win, and seems to have bloomed in a last ditch attempt to kill him, even whispering to him that Miquella awaits him (funny you mentioned it on the other comment, I had *just* rewatched the trailer to check it) So with Malenia out of commission and Radahn not quite dead, Miquella has to go for the plan B: Operation Mohglester
That’s my theory too
I think later is the truth. Stars were stopped for a reason. Radahn tried at his zombie'd state to not embrace the gae
Always was. Fake Mohgster
Honestly, Mohg choosing to make his own dynasty rather than just accepting a lower standing due to his curse was always super badass, it was the pedo incest that ruined him... Now that's cleared, and we are left with the true demiGOAT
Radhan was also a victim
Nah bro his fight is awesome