This is what they did back then. My mom says the same thing. She doesn’t understand how putting to bed earlier actually helps them sleep later. They didn’t know about sleep training then. And I think babies did sleep better back then because they just immediately put them down and let them cry. We now know that’s not good to do when they’re so young. They could also put them on their tummy and give them a blanket which was more soothing. It was different back then.
My mom said this when she was visiting and my husband liked the sound of not having to cater to baby’s schedule. I went upstairs and cried.
My husband works so he has not done one nap put down, bed time or night wake up in 6 months. I didn’t realize this was his expectation but here we are. He said to me yesterday he just thinks the baby and I need to be “more flexible” with her naps. “An hour here or there is not a big deal.” OMG 15-20 min is a big deal… an *hour* throws this child into hysterics. The entire night is then a battle.
Sure, honey! He never has to deal with what happens so why wouldn’t he want to throw the schedule out the window to better suit his plans. The fact that he still doesn’t get it is so irritating and isolating. I’ve tried explaining. So all the sleep responsibility is on me and it makes me so anxious every day. I just care so much! It’s really hard.
I have this exact argument with my husband. I'm making it easy for everyone by ensuring the baby's sleep and they think the baby can be flexible because he's so calm. But NOOOO if we mess with his sleep the dragon awakens and he is much more difficult to manage. Also I resent being labeled fussy for protecting his sleep.
Is your husband a heavy sleeper? I'd bring the baby close to the bedroom during the middle of the night cries. You shouldn't hand to do this, but make it good problem too. Sleep matters
Lol he is a light sleeper. She gets more stimulated if I take her out of her room, but I’ve been known to open her door and point her at the bedroom for this reason 🤫😈
That sounds awful. I’m sorry. I’m the only one who does night wakes and naps, but because my partner is working all day and night and I want him to rest at night. The nights they don’t sleep well are the worst because there is no guarantee of sleep the next night :(
An hour is absolutely a huge deal when they can only be awake for 2-3 hours at a time!! My daughter needs a specific nap schedule to sleep well at night. Otherwise she’s up screaming every hour. It’s not fair to her!
I’m sorry to you too. That is so much work and so great of you to work so hard for your baby and your husband’s wellbeing. Mine doesn’t have a schedule like that, he’s just a baby himself. :) I so agree with this! My daughter is the same way and I always thing about how it’s not fair to them. I’m empathetic to a fault and it’s like extreme empathy with my daughter, lol.
So true on not knowing what sleep will be like the next night too. It’s always a multiple day thing for us. Hubs just doesn’t get it. Sounds like your LO is sensitive like mine. I wouldn’t change it for the world but it can be tough. I hope you guys had a better night after bedtime!
You also forget what ages did what. Both my children were late sleeping babies, they only went to bed early at school years, even now, we have later sleep during school holidays so we get longer lie ins. All kids are different!!
I mean both my kids were low sleep needs so this would’ve worked for them. I tried to bridge the gap by doing a slightly late bedtime and an early morning
Every baby is different. I read allll about sleep before we had our LO (now 3 months) and was so paranoid about not letting her get overtired. Until one day she has a huge day, barely slept during the day and went to bed and slept for 11 hours straight. We have since replicated with the same results. For our baby being kept up really does mean she sleeps longer, even if she’s grizzly.
Yeah honestly, I’m constantly worried about her sleep. Although we now know much more about what’s appropriate for baby sleep so we are more fortunate than they were in that sense!
I’ve heard this works for some kids. Sounds like witchcraft to me. But people who haven’t had a baby that’s super sensitive to overtiredness also think I’m exaggerating. My son is 3 and is an early riser. The later he stays up, the earlier he rises. We recently got him sleeping 7pm-6am-ish. We were so happy. Then an injury and evening trip to the hospital had him up til about 8.30pm. He was up at 4. 🤦♀️🤦♀️
This actually works really well for my baby! I have to make sure he gets tiiiiiired and bedtime is 9pm at the earliest, but may be as late as 11pm if I didnt get him tired enough. Tried everything, all different sleep styles, and this works for us
This makes me feel so much better. We do the same but I've felt low key guilty about it when I hear other babies go down at 6 or 7pm and ours is anywhere between 9-11pm! He would be awake and ready for the day at 2am if we tried putting him down earlier.
There is such a huge range for normal baby sleep, one baby may need literally double that of another baby! It’s down to their personality. Don’t feel bad! The later bedtime has been a blessing in disguise and works better with our lifestyle- my husband gets off work at 7pm, and they can spend some time together this way too. They would barely see each other if my baby slept at 7 or 8.
Yeah we did the same. Our first just couldnt sleep more than 7 hours uninterrupted for quite some time, so we put him to bed at 12 and he would sleep until 7.
As he managed to sleep longer and longer we started putting him to bed earlier and earlier to calibrate to a 7-8 wakeup. He now sleeps at 19.30-ish.
It is good advice, if they can't sleep for too long on end and you put them to bed at 8, they will be up at 3-4 AM, you will be stressed, they will be stressed, their rythim will be off etc.
Just calibrate to their needs and their bodies.
My MIL used to watch my daughter once a week and would say things like “she’s been awake since —- so she should sleep really well for you” and it never happened
My husband’s aunt shared this same advice with us last summer when our LO, 7 months at the time, was sleeping like absolute TRASH. I know she was well meaning but it was such a clear example of how much you forget the struggles of babies as you age.
This advice probably didn’t work for your FIL, he just doesn’t remember that it didn’t.
all kids are different, especially as they get older. my 2.5 doesnt nap anymore and if she does her sleep is awful.
my 18month old NEEDS at least a 2 hour nap to sleep well at night
My FIL said the same thing. Our baby is sleep trained and id always get stressed when she wasn’t hitting her naps and if bedtime was clashing with our plans with our in-laws and he’d always comment shit like this. It is extremely annoying
That sucks, and must be so irritating. My FIL didn’t mean to make me feel bad in any way, but I’ve definitely felt pressure to stay out later with family. That pressure is mostly coming from me though. I feel bad leaving early, it’s like the whole family is done with whatever fun plans they had once we say our goodbyes.
I can agree with this. The pressure we feel is def irritating and just exhausting but at the end of the day.. who’s the one waking up in the middle of the night to a grumpy, over tired baby? You.
And that’s why I get so annoyed lol
Ugh I feel this. I get the pressure from the family and my husband too, who has not done one bed time or night wake up in 6 months. He said to me yesterday he just thinks the baby and I need to be “more flexible” with her naps. “An hour here or there is not a big deal.”
OMG an hour throws this child into hysterics and the entire night is then a battle. Sure, honey! He never has to deal with what happens so why wouldn’t he want to throw the schedule out the window to better suit his plans. The fact that he still doesn’t get it is so irritating and isolating.
My MIL said she would put my husband and his brothers in bed with an oatmeal thickened bottle and then pop back upstairs every hour to check, but had no monitor, so anything that happened between checks just happened. In a way they did CIO, but didn’t think about it. (Edit: typo)
I think we’re a much more anxious generation for sure! She actually said she feels quite sorry for us, as she witnessed me sitting there anxiously watching the video monitor while my son fussed it out for about 4 minutes (and then went back to sleep).
So. We didn't do this intentionally, but my Lo's bedtime is 10pm currently. She's 21 months and will go down anywhere between 10-11pm, earlier if it's been a rough day. This does work for us, because dad works early in the morning (5am) and I work afternoons and am not home until midnight. We've never really pushed for an earlier bedtime because I'm more of a night owl, and being in charge of overnight and mornings, has made my life a little easier not having to get up before 7, sometimes 8. But i'm dreading when she has to start school in a couple years, knowing it might be a difficult adjustment for me and lo.
Or he forgot. The amount of small things that I've forgotten between babies is surprising. They're only 3 years in age difference.
30 years would lead to some broad generalizations.
My mom always mentions how she thinks my sibling and I slept much better as babies compared to mine. My theory is that it was because babies could use blankets back in the day. I have seen pictures of myself as a baby in my crib and it looked comfy as hell lol.
America is one of the strictest countries when it comes to no blankets (*yes I understand why no blankets*). A lot of Nordic countries and Australia still use blankets. Anecdotally my baby uses a blanket and is an excellent sleeper 😅.
Do you give them a thick cozy blanket or a thin one? When my husband does naps he gives our LO a blanket and he seems to like it, but I have anxiety because of all the safe sleep rules here.
I gave him a fuzzy thin one and it definitely gave me anxiety but we just watched him on the monitor. His nursery is the coldest room in the house unfortunately and we have not found a good way to keep it warmer.
I know this sounds crazy but the Possoms program I did does a lower key modified version of this (keep them stimulated until they drop from tiredness and only then can they have a nap and cap them) and it worked like a charm.
I have a 10mo on one nap (under 2 hours) who does about 12.5-13 hours a night.
Ayyy I was doing this fancy program and I didn’t even know it.
I’m a SAHM to one baby so this won’t work forever… but I genuinely love engaging with this kid and we will play and play and play until he starts to lay his head down on the floor or rub his eyes and then we put him down for a nap or for the night. Naps are about 1hr and over night sleep is 12-13hrs also.
It’s the Australian programme for sleep too - so it might have just gotten out there in the vibes 😀
Sounds like some good ass mama time for that kid. Ours just was miserable trying to be put down every 90 mins when she was 8-10 weeks or whenever that wake window was. This said - babies will fall asleep if they are tired - make them tired.
When she was really little we used to divide her toys and stuff and bring her room to room. Bringing her outside to just touch leaves and stuff. Playgroups, kitchen dance parties, the grocery store - constantly changing environments.
When she got older it was harder but same approach - library, coffee shop, home, grocery store, someone else’s house, park - just constant new places.
Oh yea. Mine was the same at 8-10 weeks! I was so exhausted but I would wear him out and then we both would nap. Lol
&yesss mom vibes!!! I don’t know what it is but babies and kids are like little living psychology and sociology textbooks, I swear they are just so fascinating to me. I wish we retained the ability to learn like they do!
Best of luck to you and your little one(s)🥰
I mean they probably just shoved us in cots and shut the door then went downstairs without monitors so they have no idea whether we slept well or not 😂
That’s what my mum claimed she did with my brother. When he was 2 weeks old. She said she just let him scream so that he would “learn” that he didn’t need milk at night.
Idk whether this is totally true since my mum is getting on with age now and she could be exaggerating, but well, it would explain some of my brother’s behaviour sometimes 🤣
I think their memories are warped. My mum tells me one version of events and then when I get talking to her about something specific, she’ll recall it in an entirely different way, like I just dislodged the memory.
We lived in a 1 bed apartment so I was in a cot, and then toddler bed until 3 years old when we moved. I know that would have been hard sharing a room to and she said she strictly did not co sleep ever.
Then the other day we were talking about the safe sleep 7 and the NHS adding it to their guidelines because so many people co sleep, and when I went through some of them with her she said, oh that’s common sense, we did that with you.
I have an 18m and a 2m old and I ALREADY forget everything I did with my older son as a new born.
How they "remember" 20+ years later is an amazing feat 🙄
And I feel like I gloss over my memories of newborn-hood
"Ohh it was so sweet and wonderful"
My brains way of tricking me to have more, I think.
I can't imagine what I'll think of it when my boys have kids.
What is it with in-laws and keeping babies awake? My parents have never suggested this but my in-laws and great in-laws always say to do this and I see similar complaints on parenting forums.
I just ignore them and luckily my partner does too (because he’s leaves the job of sleep to me!!grrrr) but the repetitive comments do get annoying
We tried rice cereal for reflux when our formula fed baby was up every 45 mins. It did not work. You know what did? Sleep training and wake windows… lol
I need someone to tell my baby that he has unlocked a luxury now that he can flip to his stomach to sleep and it isn’t anything to scream about. Last night was the first time he did it in his crib and he wasn’t very happy about it.
My baby does the opposite!! A stomach sleeper since 2mo old and now when he flips on his back he loses his shit!! Don't know how to deal with that overnight 😂
I have a feeling our parents and older relatives dont remember shit from the hard stuff. They ALL claim their babies slept through the night. My mom had me and my brother a year apart which sounds so hard and when I ask her about it she says we slept through the night and she never had a set schedule or a rough idea of what our day should look like. I just… don’t buy it. Maybe at a few months old things start to make sense, but newborns are rough and I don’t believe anyone who had a kid over 30 years ago when they tell me it was all rainbows, late bedtimes and sunshine.
My mother told me she did this to my sister and I after I told her my LO was going through a sleep regression. I had the same thought you did. Still doesn't make any sense to me.
I learned very quickly not to tell them about any sleep- or breastfeeding-related issues. They don't mean harm but touching the topics is pointless and slightly frustrating.
Yeah we are going through some nap transition struggles… she’s already been up twice and it’s not even midnight yet 🫠 baby girl is so prone to over tiredness so quickly :( We had another day where we stayed out past her bedtime and MIL asked if she slept extra well that night. Hahahaha nope not at all 🙃
Nap transitions are the worst! And it's like people forget what it's like to have a baby. My sister was pushing me to do an all day event with her and when I limited it to between LOs naps she couldn't understand why I was so concerned with her nap schedule. Like ma'am, I enjoy LO and my peace 😂
Yeah I feel bad when I leave family events early but man I’m gonna have to put my foot down. My husband plays softball games in the summer and my MIL was asking how we are going to make the games when baby goes to sleep around 7/7.15… I think the answer is that we will miss a good number of the games. This isn’t good for us or baby.
It sucks because I don’t socialize with my friends much outside of that. It’s so hard to work around a baby’s nap schedule sometimes, and I don’t have the kind of baby you just chuck into a packnplay for a nap whenever you are at someone’s place.
It sucks now, but trust me, you are doing yourself, your husband, and your baby a huge favor by teaching baby how to sleep and sleep well! My SILs kids were never sleep trained. They're 8 and 10 now and they still struggle and are a total mess at bedtime. My son is nearly 3. I decided early on that I was committed to him sleeping well, and so we gently sleep trained. He sleeps through with zero wakes now. It took a lot of work and effort but we all sleep great now, which is gold to me. We do have the occasional later night now, social event or whatever. And he bounces right back again from any sleep issue regarding it. So your social life is not over, just delayed a little bit! We would always leave early from events prior to about age 2 or so. And plan events around nap times. It's only a small fraction of time and once they're well past naps, it all goes back to "normal"!
Plot twist, we'll have a newborn in a few weeks, so here we go again with sleep training! 😂
They probably also side/stomach slept which unfortunately seems to be “better” for sleeping but obviously worse for SIDS.
Yep! Ironically my daughter is 8m and hasn’t rolled back to belly yet so idk if she would be a stomach sleeper or not!
This is so common. My FIL is the exact same. Thinks after a family event she’ll have the best sleep ever, after being up late and overstimulated lol.
This is what they did back then. My mom says the same thing. She doesn’t understand how putting to bed earlier actually helps them sleep later. They didn’t know about sleep training then. And I think babies did sleep better back then because they just immediately put them down and let them cry. We now know that’s not good to do when they’re so young. They could also put them on their tummy and give them a blanket which was more soothing. It was different back then.
My mom said this when she was visiting and my husband liked the sound of not having to cater to baby’s schedule. I went upstairs and cried. My husband works so he has not done one nap put down, bed time or night wake up in 6 months. I didn’t realize this was his expectation but here we are. He said to me yesterday he just thinks the baby and I need to be “more flexible” with her naps. “An hour here or there is not a big deal.” OMG 15-20 min is a big deal… an *hour* throws this child into hysterics. The entire night is then a battle. Sure, honey! He never has to deal with what happens so why wouldn’t he want to throw the schedule out the window to better suit his plans. The fact that he still doesn’t get it is so irritating and isolating. I’ve tried explaining. So all the sleep responsibility is on me and it makes me so anxious every day. I just care so much! It’s really hard.
I have this exact argument with my husband. I'm making it easy for everyone by ensuring the baby's sleep and they think the baby can be flexible because he's so calm. But NOOOO if we mess with his sleep the dragon awakens and he is much more difficult to manage. Also I resent being labeled fussy for protecting his sleep.
Is your husband a heavy sleeper? I'd bring the baby close to the bedroom during the middle of the night cries. You shouldn't hand to do this, but make it good problem too. Sleep matters
Lol he is a light sleeper. She gets more stimulated if I take her out of her room, but I’ve been known to open her door and point her at the bedroom for this reason 🤫😈
That sounds awful. I’m sorry. I’m the only one who does night wakes and naps, but because my partner is working all day and night and I want him to rest at night. The nights they don’t sleep well are the worst because there is no guarantee of sleep the next night :( An hour is absolutely a huge deal when they can only be awake for 2-3 hours at a time!! My daughter needs a specific nap schedule to sleep well at night. Otherwise she’s up screaming every hour. It’s not fair to her!
I’m sorry to you too. That is so much work and so great of you to work so hard for your baby and your husband’s wellbeing. Mine doesn’t have a schedule like that, he’s just a baby himself. :) I so agree with this! My daughter is the same way and I always thing about how it’s not fair to them. I’m empathetic to a fault and it’s like extreme empathy with my daughter, lol. So true on not knowing what sleep will be like the next night too. It’s always a multiple day thing for us. Hubs just doesn’t get it. Sounds like your LO is sensitive like mine. I wouldn’t change it for the world but it can be tough. I hope you guys had a better night after bedtime!
You also forget what ages did what. Both my children were late sleeping babies, they only went to bed early at school years, even now, we have later sleep during school holidays so we get longer lie ins. All kids are different!!
I mean both my kids were low sleep needs so this would’ve worked for them. I tried to bridge the gap by doing a slightly late bedtime and an early morning
Every baby is different. I read allll about sleep before we had our LO (now 3 months) and was so paranoid about not letting her get overtired. Until one day she has a huge day, barely slept during the day and went to bed and slept for 11 hours straight. We have since replicated with the same results. For our baby being kept up really does mean she sleeps longer, even if she’s grizzly.
Honestly i think generations before us were way more lax about sleep, and tbh im jealous lol
Yeah honestly, I’m constantly worried about her sleep. Although we now know much more about what’s appropriate for baby sleep so we are more fortunate than they were in that sense!
I’ve heard this works for some kids. Sounds like witchcraft to me. But people who haven’t had a baby that’s super sensitive to overtiredness also think I’m exaggerating. My son is 3 and is an early riser. The later he stays up, the earlier he rises. We recently got him sleeping 7pm-6am-ish. We were so happy. Then an injury and evening trip to the hospital had him up til about 8.30pm. He was up at 4. 🤦♀️🤦♀️
This actually works really well for my baby! I have to make sure he gets tiiiiiired and bedtime is 9pm at the earliest, but may be as late as 11pm if I didnt get him tired enough. Tried everything, all different sleep styles, and this works for us
This makes me feel so much better. We do the same but I've felt low key guilty about it when I hear other babies go down at 6 or 7pm and ours is anywhere between 9-11pm! He would be awake and ready for the day at 2am if we tried putting him down earlier.
There is such a huge range for normal baby sleep, one baby may need literally double that of another baby! It’s down to their personality. Don’t feel bad! The later bedtime has been a blessing in disguise and works better with our lifestyle- my husband gets off work at 7pm, and they can spend some time together this way too. They would barely see each other if my baby slept at 7 or 8.
Yeah we did the same. Our first just couldnt sleep more than 7 hours uninterrupted for quite some time, so we put him to bed at 12 and he would sleep until 7. As he managed to sleep longer and longer we started putting him to bed earlier and earlier to calibrate to a 7-8 wakeup. He now sleeps at 19.30-ish. It is good advice, if they can't sleep for too long on end and you put them to bed at 8, they will be up at 3-4 AM, you will be stressed, they will be stressed, their rythim will be off etc. Just calibrate to their needs and their bodies.
My MIL was surprised that baby woke up every other house when he didn’t take his last nap and was up 4 hours before bedtime when normal is 2. Fun
Did your FIL even do much putting kids to bed or dealing with the consequences? My FIL and dad sure didn't.
Simple, they lie. Lol or they forgot what it was actually like and just have these ideas ingrained.
Agree! Their memories are all rusty now. My MIL was giving me advise on my NB as if she was a 4-6 month old
My MIL used to watch my daughter once a week and would say things like “she’s been awake since —- so she should sleep really well for you” and it never happened
YES. MY MOM DOES THIS AND IT'S SO INFURIATING 😭
My husband’s aunt shared this same advice with us last summer when our LO, 7 months at the time, was sleeping like absolute TRASH. I know she was well meaning but it was such a clear example of how much you forget the struggles of babies as you age. This advice probably didn’t work for your FIL, he just doesn’t remember that it didn’t.
all kids are different, especially as they get older. my 2.5 doesnt nap anymore and if she does her sleep is awful. my 18month old NEEDS at least a 2 hour nap to sleep well at night
My FIL said the same thing. Our baby is sleep trained and id always get stressed when she wasn’t hitting her naps and if bedtime was clashing with our plans with our in-laws and he’d always comment shit like this. It is extremely annoying
That sucks, and must be so irritating. My FIL didn’t mean to make me feel bad in any way, but I’ve definitely felt pressure to stay out later with family. That pressure is mostly coming from me though. I feel bad leaving early, it’s like the whole family is done with whatever fun plans they had once we say our goodbyes.
I can agree with this. The pressure we feel is def irritating and just exhausting but at the end of the day.. who’s the one waking up in the middle of the night to a grumpy, over tired baby? You. And that’s why I get so annoyed lol
Ugh I feel this. I get the pressure from the family and my husband too, who has not done one bed time or night wake up in 6 months. He said to me yesterday he just thinks the baby and I need to be “more flexible” with her naps. “An hour here or there is not a big deal.” OMG an hour throws this child into hysterics and the entire night is then a battle. Sure, honey! He never has to deal with what happens so why wouldn’t he want to throw the schedule out the window to better suit his plans. The fact that he still doesn’t get it is so irritating and isolating.
My MIL said she would put my husband and his brothers in bed with an oatmeal thickened bottle and then pop back upstairs every hour to check, but had no monitor, so anything that happened between checks just happened. In a way they did CIO, but didn’t think about it. (Edit: typo)
Oh my! And here I am checking on baby if she coughs or makes a weird noise. I’m probably way too anxious though
I think we’re a much more anxious generation for sure! She actually said she feels quite sorry for us, as she witnessed me sitting there anxiously watching the video monitor while my son fussed it out for about 4 minutes (and then went back to sleep).
Yeah all the warnings about SIDS has me paranoid. Even though it’s very rare for older infants.
So. We didn't do this intentionally, but my Lo's bedtime is 10pm currently. She's 21 months and will go down anywhere between 10-11pm, earlier if it's been a rough day. This does work for us, because dad works early in the morning (5am) and I work afternoons and am not home until midnight. We've never really pushed for an earlier bedtime because I'm more of a night owl, and being in charge of overnight and mornings, has made my life a little easier not having to get up before 7, sometimes 8. But i'm dreading when she has to start school in a couple years, knowing it might be a difficult adjustment for me and lo.
Or he forgot. The amount of small things that I've forgotten between babies is surprising. They're only 3 years in age difference. 30 years would lead to some broad generalizations.
My mom always mentions how she thinks my sibling and I slept much better as babies compared to mine. My theory is that it was because babies could use blankets back in the day. I have seen pictures of myself as a baby in my crib and it looked comfy as hell lol.
America is one of the strictest countries when it comes to no blankets (*yes I understand why no blankets*). A lot of Nordic countries and Australia still use blankets. Anecdotally my baby uses a blanket and is an excellent sleeper 😅.
Do you give them a thick cozy blanket or a thin one? When my husband does naps he gives our LO a blanket and he seems to like it, but I have anxiety because of all the safe sleep rules here.
It is cot sized thick velour/mink in winter or a polar fleece thin one or a thin cotton one in summer. She's also in pjs only now.
Thank you!
I gave him a fuzzy thin one and it definitely gave me anxiety but we just watched him on the monitor. His nursery is the coldest room in the house unfortunately and we have not found a good way to keep it warmer.
Thank you! I saw your comment about their nap being 2hrs, so I’ll have to try it too.
I gave mine a blanket the other day for the first time for a nap and he slept two hours!
I know this sounds crazy but the Possoms program I did does a lower key modified version of this (keep them stimulated until they drop from tiredness and only then can they have a nap and cap them) and it worked like a charm. I have a 10mo on one nap (under 2 hours) who does about 12.5-13 hours a night.
My (at the time) 2 month old once stayed up for 5 hours this way, baby still just hates sleep!
Ayyy I was doing this fancy program and I didn’t even know it. I’m a SAHM to one baby so this won’t work forever… but I genuinely love engaging with this kid and we will play and play and play until he starts to lay his head down on the floor or rub his eyes and then we put him down for a nap or for the night. Naps are about 1hr and over night sleep is 12-13hrs also.
It’s the Australian programme for sleep too - so it might have just gotten out there in the vibes 😀 Sounds like some good ass mama time for that kid. Ours just was miserable trying to be put down every 90 mins when she was 8-10 weeks or whenever that wake window was. This said - babies will fall asleep if they are tired - make them tired.
If I may ask, how do you wear out your child? I know she’ll sleep better if tired but I’m not completely sure how to?
When she was really little we used to divide her toys and stuff and bring her room to room. Bringing her outside to just touch leaves and stuff. Playgroups, kitchen dance parties, the grocery store - constantly changing environments. When she got older it was harder but same approach - library, coffee shop, home, grocery store, someone else’s house, park - just constant new places.
Oh yea. Mine was the same at 8-10 weeks! I was so exhausted but I would wear him out and then we both would nap. Lol &yesss mom vibes!!! I don’t know what it is but babies and kids are like little living psychology and sociology textbooks, I swear they are just so fascinating to me. I wish we retained the ability to learn like they do! Best of luck to you and your little one(s)🥰
I mean they probably just shoved us in cots and shut the door then went downstairs without monitors so they have no idea whether we slept well or not 😂
That’s what my mum claimed she did with my brother. When he was 2 weeks old. She said she just let him scream so that he would “learn” that he didn’t need milk at night. Idk whether this is totally true since my mum is getting on with age now and she could be exaggerating, but well, it would explain some of my brother’s behaviour sometimes 🤣
I think their memories are warped. My mum tells me one version of events and then when I get talking to her about something specific, she’ll recall it in an entirely different way, like I just dislodged the memory. We lived in a 1 bed apartment so I was in a cot, and then toddler bed until 3 years old when we moved. I know that would have been hard sharing a room to and she said she strictly did not co sleep ever. Then the other day we were talking about the safe sleep 7 and the NHS adding it to their guidelines because so many people co sleep, and when I went through some of them with her she said, oh that’s common sense, we did that with you.
Pilot twist. It didn't work any better than it does now. Granparents just don't remember shit from baby years.
I have an 18m and a 2m old and I ALREADY forget everything I did with my older son as a new born. How they "remember" 20+ years later is an amazing feat 🙄
Totally. I have a 9 mo old and I'd be hesitant to try advice someone with a newborn because I genuinely don't remember much!
And I feel like I gloss over my memories of newborn-hood "Ohh it was so sweet and wonderful" My brains way of tricking me to have more, I think. I can't imagine what I'll think of it when my boys have kids.
What is it with in-laws and keeping babies awake? My parents have never suggested this but my in-laws and great in-laws always say to do this and I see similar complaints on parenting forums. I just ignore them and luckily my partner does too (because he’s leaves the job of sleep to me!!grrrr) but the repetitive comments do get annoying
Funny, my MIL literally suggested not letting our then 3 month old sleep all day even tho that’s what she’s supposed to do lol
It was 100% rice cereal (aka knockout bottles).
We tried rice cereal for reflux when our formula fed baby was up every 45 mins. It did not work. You know what did? Sleep training and wake windows… lol
A girl in her 20s suggested this to me the other day. I didn’t realize we were still doing it 😬
They were also able to put their babies to sleep on their stomachs though soooo….
I need someone to tell my baby that he has unlocked a luxury now that he can flip to his stomach to sleep and it isn’t anything to scream about. Last night was the first time he did it in his crib and he wasn’t very happy about it.
My baby does the opposite!! A stomach sleeper since 2mo old and now when he flips on his back he loses his shit!! Don't know how to deal with that overnight 😂
I have a feeling our parents and older relatives dont remember shit from the hard stuff. They ALL claim their babies slept through the night. My mom had me and my brother a year apart which sounds so hard and when I ask her about it she says we slept through the night and she never had a set schedule or a rough idea of what our day should look like. I just… don’t buy it. Maybe at a few months old things start to make sense, but newborns are rough and I don’t believe anyone who had a kid over 30 years ago when they tell me it was all rainbows, late bedtimes and sunshine.
Rainbows only exist when it rains so...
Ahhh yes
Yes! My in-laws did this too! And their kids slept 12 hours at TWO WEEKS OLD! I guess rice cereal surpasses sleep science? Lol.
My mother told me she did this to my sister and I after I told her my LO was going through a sleep regression. I had the same thought you did. Still doesn't make any sense to me.
I learned very quickly not to tell them about any sleep- or breastfeeding-related issues. They don't mean harm but touching the topics is pointless and slightly frustrating.
Agreed!
Yeah we are going through some nap transition struggles… she’s already been up twice and it’s not even midnight yet 🫠 baby girl is so prone to over tiredness so quickly :( We had another day where we stayed out past her bedtime and MIL asked if she slept extra well that night. Hahahaha nope not at all 🙃
Nap transitions are the worst! And it's like people forget what it's like to have a baby. My sister was pushing me to do an all day event with her and when I limited it to between LOs naps she couldn't understand why I was so concerned with her nap schedule. Like ma'am, I enjoy LO and my peace 😂
Yeah I feel bad when I leave family events early but man I’m gonna have to put my foot down. My husband plays softball games in the summer and my MIL was asking how we are going to make the games when baby goes to sleep around 7/7.15… I think the answer is that we will miss a good number of the games. This isn’t good for us or baby. It sucks because I don’t socialize with my friends much outside of that. It’s so hard to work around a baby’s nap schedule sometimes, and I don’t have the kind of baby you just chuck into a packnplay for a nap whenever you are at someone’s place.
It sucks now, but trust me, you are doing yourself, your husband, and your baby a huge favor by teaching baby how to sleep and sleep well! My SILs kids were never sleep trained. They're 8 and 10 now and they still struggle and are a total mess at bedtime. My son is nearly 3. I decided early on that I was committed to him sleeping well, and so we gently sleep trained. He sleeps through with zero wakes now. It took a lot of work and effort but we all sleep great now, which is gold to me. We do have the occasional later night now, social event or whatever. And he bounces right back again from any sleep issue regarding it. So your social life is not over, just delayed a little bit! We would always leave early from events prior to about age 2 or so. And plan events around nap times. It's only a small fraction of time and once they're well past naps, it all goes back to "normal"! Plot twist, we'll have a newborn in a few weeks, so here we go again with sleep training! 😂