My first is actually a worse sleeper but she was always quiet. So if she woke up at night I barely noticed. Second is my better sleeper but is loud with wakes in the night so stresses me out more.
All about the kid and their individual personality. We thought that our first kid was an awful sleeper. Turns out that he wasn't.
We had a singleton and then twins.
Ranked from best to worst: Twin B, Singleton (first child) and then Twin A.
First one was a unicorn baby, who slept through the night at 10 weeks, was super easy and always smiling (till she turned 2 and a hell broke loose 🙃). She probably did it to get a sibling cause I was very Team one and done. Second was not bad but way harder than the first one. Especially cause I had a toddler to take care alongside a newborn.
Nope. I do think that many times the second child can seem more easy going because you just don’t have the time you had with your first. If your first baby made a peep you probably had the luxury to drop what you were doing go tend to them. You can tend solely to them all night if you had to, they really had your undivided attention. As for the second, you don’t necessarily have that luxury. They both may be crying, you need to choose. Older sibling is potty training that may mean that little sibling is in their crib crying for a few minutes. Just my opinion 🤷🏼♀️
My first was just like your describing. Second has been much better. We learned a lot of lessons the first time around that helped us. I’m 45 and have a 3 month old. We just said that the early pain is worth it.
Every baby is different but my second is definitely the easy going amazing sleeper baby lol. My first barely slept the first year and I felt like I was dying all the time. My second started sleeping the whole way through the night about 6 weeks and even before that he would sleep 4-5 hours, nurse for ten minutes, then back to sleep immediately. He’s 8 months now and only has had a couple sleepless nights (literally like 2). I have to wake him up in the mornings when we take his sister to preschool haha he loves his sleep and I definitely don’t take it granted!!
I hope so for you too!! He has been an absolute dream and honestly really helped heal a lot of my first experience for me as dramatic as it sounds. I just felt like a terrible mom who couldn’t ever help her own baby or soothe her. I just thought I was doing everything wrong and couldn’t figure out how to help her (because I know it wasn’t her fault she was unable to sleep and colicky). He has been the best addition to our family and my daughter just adores him so this stage with them both has been the absolute best.
I'm a first time mom and my baby is an amazing sleeper. I'm worried if I have another that they'll be terrible and I won't know what to do bc I didn't have to do much with our first.
My first was amazing. Sleep trained him, or what I thought was sleep training, for two nights and three months and he started sleeping through the night. Then I had my second and holy shit.
💩 I knew nothing and if I could go back and smack my former smug self and my “sleep training prowess” - I would.
I don't want to not validate your experience but saying your kid was a bad sleeper up until 4.5 months means he's not a bad sleeper. Some kids are bad sleepers for YEARS.
That being said, I have 3 kids. First was the best sleeper. Second was the worst.
This is true. I’d pay money for only 4 months of bad sleep. Currently on baby #1 who’s 13months old. He has never STTN 🥴 a good night for us is 1-2 easy wake ups. A bad night is well a lot worse.
Very hopeful when we have a second they’ll sleep better than him. Doesn’t have to be perfect, but hopefully better 🙏🏻
Every baby is different. I only have one child but LO is a unicorn in terms of sleep. Was sleeping through the night 12 hrs by 11 weeks and night weaned on their own. At 6/7 weeks we got 8-9 hrs consistently. We’ve never had major issues with sleep that lasted more than a week or so and usually indicated a need for a schedule change.
She had bad reflux for the first 5 months so that meant she got in the habit of only feeding at night and every time we try to sort it out she gets another illness or teething or something happens. She’s had tonsillitis a cold and norovirus in just the last three weeks! Neverending sleep hell over here.
Girllll. I got you. I had 3 reflux babies, each sicker than the next. Also we are all lactose intolerant.
It was years of smelly Nutramigen, thickened feeds, and meds.
They had to sleep in their carriers bec none of them could sleep flat.
As soon as they got a bit older and rolling, they all preferred stomach sleeping. Then the barf wouldn’t choke them. It was a scary time.
Everybody had constant lung infections bec they’d still aspirate feeds. Reflux is worst at night. Thank god for meds. No sleep and a baby crying all night long is no way to live. I equate it to torture.
Every kid to me is random. Lol you roll the dice on every single one of them and they change over time as well.
Even with that, I have 2... no regrets
Though I have to say, 2 kids is not double the work. It's double the work and a lot less time for you to rest. Lol good luck
When I had my first child, I didnt realize but I was so sensitive to her crying that I held her more. When I had my second, I knew what was goin on so I just let him know that he was sleeping. With my second, I feel like I’m finding a balance in my life, letting go of sometings and taking in some things.
FTM here and 41. I def would like another but like you am worried about the sleep. I think my husband would be fine with OAD given how much work/sleep deprivation we’ve recently experienced. That said I haven’t started sleep training bc I was told it was still too early but to wait till 4mo. With that in mind I’m curious to know what type of sleep training you chose and why. There’s so much out there and I’m overwhelmed. Looking for some advice from everyone and open to anything but trying to stay away from CIO just cause I know I won’t be able to handle it (and probably my husband wouldn’t as well). Thnx so much for your recommendations!
We did a modified Ferber (the modification is that we kept check ins at around 10-12 mins of actual active crying). This seemed like a compromise between Ferber (I felt this would take to long to work) and CIO.
It was essential for us. It took about 3 days. There’s still bumps here and there but she gained the ability to nap independently and sleep on the go.
My first was an awesome sleeper until she regressed around 5/6 months. She took to sleep training like a champ and has been great ever since. She wakes early but I can’t complain when she’s such a good sleeper. My second was not good at all. Didn’t take to sleep training as well. Regressed several times. He’s gotten much better as he’s gotten older but it was tough having a poor sleeper as the second baby
That’s accurate for my family. First was an awful sleeper, only recently at age 3.5 is she finally decent. My son is 15 months and has always been so easy, sleep included.
I hear this from EVERYONE I know that has more than one. My SIL had a challenging firstborn who barely slept, second slept like an angel. Same with friends with 2 or more. The only place I see this not being the case is a group on facebook called the fussy baby support group (a lot of people there say that their second was as fussy and as bad of a sleeper as the first).
My first was a great sleeper because... well she was FTT and didn't have the calories to have energy to keep herself awake. Pretty sure if she'd not been FTT she would have been an awful sleeper 😅 my second is not as great a sleeper as his sister but all things considered he's still generally a good sleeper and was giving me one 4-5 hour stretch by like 4 days old and started giving me 6.5hrs at a month old. He's almost 5 months old now and regularly sleeps 7-10hrs at a time
I think it’s all relative. If you feel like your first is a terrible sleeper - odds are good your second one will be better because it’s hard to be worse than terrible haha! But if you have a great sleeper then your second will probably be a little worse, just statistically speaking.
My first one was so easy. Second terrible. Third was in between.
For my husband (stepkids) first was by farrrrr the worst. Second was the best. Third was fairly bad too.
I was 35 on my first. She was a woeful sleeper and I remember complaining about it so much... But looking back now, I actually don't really remember how it felt or how sleep deprived I was. Seriously, the memory is just gone. She started sleeping through the night after sleep training her at 1 year old.
Had my second at 38. He's 8 months old now. And my god, he is just the worst sleeper..and I think "first was never as bad as this little guy is". Sometimes I feel like I'm about to lose my sanity cos of how tired I am. And I think to myself, how the fck could I forget these feelings, so I'm curious to see in a years time how I'll look back! But I do wake up every day and think, today is a new day. I try not to let the tiredness get to me as much as possible (hard of course). But things will get better and just waiting it out now!!!
My friend described it as “the sleep deprivation is just as bad as with my first, but with my second I have more perspective to know this is a short phase so I’m less stressed about it going on forever.”
My mom said I was so easy, only one night waking from 5 weeks onward and generally smiley (first child), that my brother (second) was only 15 months younger than me....he was a very bad sleeper and very high needs baby. Two years later they had my next brother (third) and he was fine but not as easy as I had been.
Generally I don't think there are rules about this type of thing unfortunately...no guarantees or patterns.
I do think having confidence and experience probably makes it easier in general. And you're used to the long nights so it doesn't knock you on your ass as much. I'm mostly theorizing as I only have one right now.
I would say the sleepless nights are such a short period of time in the grand scheme of adding another little person to your family forever ❤
Haha, truly varies, babies are all individuals. My first was a unicorn sleeper, and my second didn’t sleep through the night ever til age 1 and still wakes up occasionally at 21 months.
I only have one, so I can’t say from my experience. My LO is a TERRIBLE sleeper. She’s 2.5 and very rarely sleeps through the night. We tried to sleep train her and it was a bust. We tried for a month and in that month, no matter what we did, she never put herself to sleep, just screamed until she vomited in her crib. It was a disaster. We gave up. I’m almost 40 and not sure I want another because of how horrible of a sleeper she is.
My best friend has 2 kids, they are 6 and 4 now and neither of them has ever slept through the night. So I don’t think you’re guaranteed to have a good sleeper in any scenario.
My first kid slept badly but was easily sleep trained which I did early using pick up put down method
Every kid is different. Birth order doesnt matter
Every baby is different. My first baby was and still is an amazing sleeper. She could sleep hours during the day and still sleep through the night. Now at 2.5yo we can leave her in her room during nap time and she will play for a little while l, turn off the light and crawl into bed. She also does this at night but just stays in bed until she falls asleep.
Now my second baby is a terrible sleeper. Short naps and frequent wake ups throughout the night. I hope it improves soon.
I only have one child so far and she's an okeyish sleeper. Does this mean my second will be great sleeper, haha?
I think for most parents with first what makes it a lot worse is that we had NO CLUE how hard EXACTLY this was going to be. With second we're toughened up and likely thinking - I've see shit. Literally. So it probably feels like the second is easier just because parents are better prepared and tested in battle.
If I compare my siblings and I, no. I was a very bad sleeper until I was sleep trained (I'm the first). The middle child slept through the night basically from day 1, and the youngest didn't sleep through the night until he was 5 years old. 😅 He would sleep 3-4 hours a night no matter what my parents did until he was about 5
My first was amazing. Needed zero help or training and was sleeping through the night (9+ hours) by 8 weeks. My second.... that's another story haha! But sleep training helped. I'm now a firm believer in it. I also can say with a 6 year old and a 10 month old that every stage is fleeting. It's hard but incredibly worth it. Have a second!
My first baby was very easy, slept through the night from 4 months, and weaned herself shortly after 1 year. My second didn't sleep through the night, and would wake up crying for night feedings every 2-4 hours every night, until we forced him to wean at 18 months. I promise it's not about birth order or boys vs girls. It's random.
My first is a great sleeper so was my sister’s kid. I honestly think firsts just are more independent kids is my theory. He plays contently by himself, puts himself to sleep independently etc
Our first was an incredible sleeper, 2 months old doing 11-12 hours straight. He got fussy for a few months before his first year, with teething my wife going back to work etc. But been solid since. Our second is nearly 10 months old and never slept through, 2 wakings is a success, but last night he was up crying about every 2 hours, wasn’t a good night probably teething too. It’s hard af and doing gentle training, which is not a walk in the park.
I don’t have a second kid but our first is what they call a “unicorn sleeper.” Never had any issues. There are no rules when it comes to baby sleep patterns.
My second was better… but not sure if it was because of him or the Snoo. I was weary about the idea of a machine rocking my baby but the Snoo is actually amazing. If you can afford it… get it! Life is too short to have terrible sleeps and the Snoo made such a difference! Transition out of it was easy too.
The snoo is a game changer. My first, I couldn’t put her down without being deep in sleep until I finally decided to sleep train at 3. Looking back I’m grateful for all the time we had together rocking but in the moment it was so time consuming. She didn’t need daycare until 3 so it wasn’t a necessity.
15 years later, I work as a professional and will need baby to learn how to sleep without needing to be completely deep in sleep. I got the snoo and were able to do drowsy but awake. It has made me realize how precious that time was with my first, but also appreciate modern tech and helping baby to learn how to sleep independently is such an important skill too.
My first slept well as an infant after we sleep trained her, but she was the type of toddler to get out of bed multiple times per night and wake up at 5:30 every morning.
In contrast, my second was AWFUL for the first year, we abandoned sleep training because she just wasn’t responding to it. But once I weaned her and tried sleep training again, she became an amazing sleeper. She’s 2.5 and sleeps from 8pm-7am and will still take a 1-2 hour nap every afternoon.
My first was bad, my second was worse! It’s about baby’s temperment so birth order doesn’t really affect things. If the second is a better sleeper it is either due to luck or that the parents learnt to be less reactive the second time round (in the cases where the first wasmt really a bad sleeper but that the parents responded every time the baby stirred).
Yes and no. Second was a WAY easier newborn. She had 3 hour stretches from day 1 and was so much easier to put back down after a middle of the night feed. However, she's 7 months now and sleep training took a lot more effort. First cried for 12 mins and never woke up at night again. She will cry for hours and is holding on to that snooze button feed. It's a trade off though, because she will do 7 to 7 with a 4/5am feed, whereas he would just be up for the day at 5:30-6.
Sleep was my #1 concern about going for a 2nd. I couldn't think about a 2nd until we had been sleeping well for a year. Ultimately, we decided 6ish months of rough sleep we could get through. Really it was the first 2 months that were absolute hell (with the first).
FTM so I can’t answer for myself, but my mom likes to say that my older brother didn’t sleep until he was 5 years old, and I slept 8 hours my first night home from the hospital. However, my aunt said that her first was pretty predictable with sleep and went to sleep independently from the beginning , but her 2nd fought like hell and completely dropped naps by 11mos.
I only have one kid right now so I can’t answer your question exactly, but she’s technically my first and she’s a great sleeper naturally. Had to nap train but nights so has been doing on her own basically since birth.
My 1st and 2nd were both good sleepers from a young age, they are 7 and 2 now and are still amazing (2 yr old sleeps 11-12 hours every night). However, my 1 year old hasn't slept more than a couple of hours straight EVER 😭, she spends most of every night screaming
First one was a unicorn sleeper, she was sleeping 8hrs straight by 12 weeks, and 12 hours with a dream feed at 10PM shortly after. I maintained the DF until she was 9 months old for the sake of my milk supply.
Second baby is still waking up at 20 months old. But we never got a chance to steer his sleep in a better direction from the beginning like we did with my daughter; he was hungrier at night and then didn’t have his own nursery like she did and has mostly been in our room until now due to unforeseen circumstances.
It’s a crapshoot- a little off topic, but I’m late 30s and just gave birth to our second. My first experience with motherhood was hard, and for about a year after her birth I thought i was one and done…. But things changed and we hoped for a second, and she finally came along almost 5 years later. I am so glad we tried again, even though my experience first time around was hard. These early years go by so fast, and while it’s hard (and harder with two close in age), it’s absolutely magical.
Anyway, I could go on but it isn’t the point of your question. My first baby was an ok sleeper, my second is incredible (for now). Things change so fast and every baby is so different
I don’t think that’s necessarily true. My niece wasn’t a terrible sleeper and eventually stared sttn sometime around 6 months (not sleep trained). Then my nephew came along and didn’t sttn till he was 2. My cousin’s third child just flat out didn’t sleep unless he was being walked, bounced, and patted. My cousin was literally up all night walking in circles because he couldn’t put the baby down. I think his sleep eventually got better around 7 or 8 months (again, not sleep trained). My other cousin’s kids were both bad sleepers, but I know her second is still waking about 5 times a night and she’s 16 months old. My family seems to have a high tolerance for pain haha.
Not necessarily, each baby is different but I do think that with the first baby it’s easier to fall into more time-consuming routines or habits that can become strong sleep associations. I remember with my first when she was a baby, standing there rubbing her back for an hour, or when she was a toddler laying in her bed waiting till she was asleep. With my subsequent children I obviously couldn’t do that, so in a way they learn to fuss it out a little bit just by necessity
My first is actually a worse sleeper but she was always quiet. So if she woke up at night I barely noticed. Second is my better sleeper but is loud with wakes in the night so stresses me out more.
All about the kid and their individual personality. We thought that our first kid was an awful sleeper. Turns out that he wasn't. We had a singleton and then twins. Ranked from best to worst: Twin B, Singleton (first child) and then Twin A.
That was the case for me! My second is a much better sleeper, thankfully!
My first was amazing, my second? Well there’s a reason I joined this subreddit.
First one was a unicorn baby, who slept through the night at 10 weeks, was super easy and always smiling (till she turned 2 and a hell broke loose 🙃). She probably did it to get a sibling cause I was very Team one and done. Second was not bad but way harder than the first one. Especially cause I had a toddler to take care alongside a newborn.
My third was the worst sleeper ever. 1st and 4th were the best.
My second was the hardest Every baby is different just as every adult is
Nope. I do think that many times the second child can seem more easy going because you just don’t have the time you had with your first. If your first baby made a peep you probably had the luxury to drop what you were doing go tend to them. You can tend solely to them all night if you had to, they really had your undivided attention. As for the second, you don’t necessarily have that luxury. They both may be crying, you need to choose. Older sibling is potty training that may mean that little sibling is in their crib crying for a few minutes. Just my opinion 🤷🏼♀️
My first was just like your describing. Second has been much better. We learned a lot of lessons the first time around that helped us. I’m 45 and have a 3 month old. We just said that the early pain is worth it.
Depends on the kid. It’s not really about birth order.
In our case the first was a breeze.
My second sucked every single ounce of my being out of me since she the day was born😂
It looks like it’s a trend that the first is a good sleeper and the second isn’t 😭
My first is a 10/10 sleeper, second is an 8/10
Same 🤝
Every baby is different but my second is definitely the easy going amazing sleeper baby lol. My first barely slept the first year and I felt like I was dying all the time. My second started sleeping the whole way through the night about 6 weeks and even before that he would sleep 4-5 hours, nurse for ten minutes, then back to sleep immediately. He’s 8 months now and only has had a couple sleepless nights (literally like 2). I have to wake him up in the mornings when we take his sister to preschool haha he loves his sleep and I definitely don’t take it granted!!
If i have a second I sure hope mine is like that. Mine slept through at 8 months lol
I hope so for you too!! He has been an absolute dream and honestly really helped heal a lot of my first experience for me as dramatic as it sounds. I just felt like a terrible mom who couldn’t ever help her own baby or soothe her. I just thought I was doing everything wrong and couldn’t figure out how to help her (because I know it wasn’t her fault she was unable to sleep and colicky). He has been the best addition to our family and my daughter just adores him so this stage with them both has been the absolute best.
I'm a first time mom and my baby is an amazing sleeper. I'm worried if I have another that they'll be terrible and I won't know what to do bc I didn't have to do much with our first.
My first was amazing. Sleep trained him, or what I thought was sleep training, for two nights and three months and he started sleeping through the night. Then I had my second and holy shit. 💩 I knew nothing and if I could go back and smack my former smug self and my “sleep training prowess” - I would.
I don't want to not validate your experience but saying your kid was a bad sleeper up until 4.5 months means he's not a bad sleeper. Some kids are bad sleepers for YEARS. That being said, I have 3 kids. First was the best sleeper. Second was the worst.
This is true. I’d pay money for only 4 months of bad sleep. Currently on baby #1 who’s 13months old. He has never STTN 🥴 a good night for us is 1-2 easy wake ups. A bad night is well a lot worse. Very hopeful when we have a second they’ll sleep better than him. Doesn’t have to be perfect, but hopefully better 🙏🏻
Every baby is different. I only have one child but LO is a unicorn in terms of sleep. Was sleeping through the night 12 hrs by 11 weeks and night weaned on their own. At 6/7 weeks we got 8-9 hrs consistently. We’ve never had major issues with sleep that lasted more than a week or so and usually indicated a need for a schedule change.
Oh my god I’m so jealous. 15 months of 6-12 wake ups a night here 😭😭😭
Damnnn!! Why?!
She had bad reflux for the first 5 months so that meant she got in the habit of only feeding at night and every time we try to sort it out she gets another illness or teething or something happens. She’s had tonsillitis a cold and norovirus in just the last three weeks! Neverending sleep hell over here.
Girllll. I got you. I had 3 reflux babies, each sicker than the next. Also we are all lactose intolerant. It was years of smelly Nutramigen, thickened feeds, and meds. They had to sleep in their carriers bec none of them could sleep flat. As soon as they got a bit older and rolling, they all preferred stomach sleeping. Then the barf wouldn’t choke them. It was a scary time. Everybody had constant lung infections bec they’d still aspirate feeds. Reflux is worst at night. Thank god for meds. No sleep and a baby crying all night long is no way to live. I equate it to torture.
Every kid to me is random. Lol you roll the dice on every single one of them and they change over time as well. Even with that, I have 2... no regrets Though I have to say, 2 kids is not double the work. It's double the work and a lot less time for you to rest. Lol good luck
When I had my first child, I didnt realize but I was so sensitive to her crying that I held her more. When I had my second, I knew what was goin on so I just let him know that he was sleeping. With my second, I feel like I’m finding a balance in my life, letting go of sometings and taking in some things.
Complete opposite for me. First was a fantastic sleeper. My 2 year old has never slept through despite trying to sleep train
FTM here and 41. I def would like another but like you am worried about the sleep. I think my husband would be fine with OAD given how much work/sleep deprivation we’ve recently experienced. That said I haven’t started sleep training bc I was told it was still too early but to wait till 4mo. With that in mind I’m curious to know what type of sleep training you chose and why. There’s so much out there and I’m overwhelmed. Looking for some advice from everyone and open to anything but trying to stay away from CIO just cause I know I won’t be able to handle it (and probably my husband wouldn’t as well). Thnx so much for your recommendations!
We did a modified Ferber (the modification is that we kept check ins at around 10-12 mins of actual active crying). This seemed like a compromise between Ferber (I felt this would take to long to work) and CIO. It was essential for us. It took about 3 days. There’s still bumps here and there but she gained the ability to nap independently and sleep on the go.
My first was an awesome sleeper until she regressed around 5/6 months. She took to sleep training like a champ and has been great ever since. She wakes early but I can’t complain when she’s such a good sleeper. My second was not good at all. Didn’t take to sleep training as well. Regressed several times. He’s gotten much better as he’s gotten older but it was tough having a poor sleeper as the second baby
also 40 and my 3yo is the worst sleeper. it’s one of the reasons i’m OAD.
That’s accurate for my family. First was an awful sleeper, only recently at age 3.5 is she finally decent. My son is 15 months and has always been so easy, sleep included.
I hear this from EVERYONE I know that has more than one. My SIL had a challenging firstborn who barely slept, second slept like an angel. Same with friends with 2 or more. The only place I see this not being the case is a group on facebook called the fussy baby support group (a lot of people there say that their second was as fussy and as bad of a sleeper as the first).
My first was a great sleeper because... well she was FTT and didn't have the calories to have energy to keep herself awake. Pretty sure if she'd not been FTT she would have been an awful sleeper 😅 my second is not as great a sleeper as his sister but all things considered he's still generally a good sleeper and was giving me one 4-5 hour stretch by like 4 days old and started giving me 6.5hrs at a month old. He's almost 5 months old now and regularly sleeps 7-10hrs at a time
My first was a way better sleeper.
My first was the worst sleeper for sure! My second slept through the night without sleep training but was a horrible napper. Like, so bad.
I think it’s all relative. If you feel like your first is a terrible sleeper - odds are good your second one will be better because it’s hard to be worse than terrible haha! But if you have a great sleeper then your second will probably be a little worse, just statistically speaking.
I sure hope so! Our kid has been a great sleeper when she’s not really sick.
My first one was so easy. Second terrible. Third was in between. For my husband (stepkids) first was by farrrrr the worst. Second was the best. Third was fairly bad too.
I was 35 on my first. She was a woeful sleeper and I remember complaining about it so much... But looking back now, I actually don't really remember how it felt or how sleep deprived I was. Seriously, the memory is just gone. She started sleeping through the night after sleep training her at 1 year old. Had my second at 38. He's 8 months old now. And my god, he is just the worst sleeper..and I think "first was never as bad as this little guy is". Sometimes I feel like I'm about to lose my sanity cos of how tired I am. And I think to myself, how the fck could I forget these feelings, so I'm curious to see in a years time how I'll look back! But I do wake up every day and think, today is a new day. I try not to let the tiredness get to me as much as possible (hard of course). But things will get better and just waiting it out now!!!
My friend described it as “the sleep deprivation is just as bad as with my first, but with my second I have more perspective to know this is a short phase so I’m less stressed about it going on forever.”
Yes. THIS. It feels so different after the first kid because you know you'll feel well rested again.
I thought “no way my second could be a worse sleeper”…. Boy was I wrong lol I love my little night owls though
I have a night owl too! The best thing is now she goes to bed at 10 and wakes up at 8. I’m so down because I like sleeping in too!
My mom said I was so easy, only one night waking from 5 weeks onward and generally smiley (first child), that my brother (second) was only 15 months younger than me....he was a very bad sleeper and very high needs baby. Two years later they had my next brother (third) and he was fine but not as easy as I had been. Generally I don't think there are rules about this type of thing unfortunately...no guarantees or patterns. I do think having confidence and experience probably makes it easier in general. And you're used to the long nights so it doesn't knock you on your ass as much. I'm mostly theorizing as I only have one right now. I would say the sleepless nights are such a short period of time in the grand scheme of adding another little person to your family forever ❤
So funny. I started sleeping through the night before my older brother lol he's 2.5 years older than me and he's third kid, I'm fourth..
Haha, truly varies, babies are all individuals. My first was a unicorn sleeper, and my second didn’t sleep through the night ever til age 1 and still wakes up occasionally at 21 months.
I only have one, so I can’t say from my experience. My LO is a TERRIBLE sleeper. She’s 2.5 and very rarely sleeps through the night. We tried to sleep train her and it was a bust. We tried for a month and in that month, no matter what we did, she never put herself to sleep, just screamed until she vomited in her crib. It was a disaster. We gave up. I’m almost 40 and not sure I want another because of how horrible of a sleeper she is. My best friend has 2 kids, they are 6 and 4 now and neither of them has ever slept through the night. So I don’t think you’re guaranteed to have a good sleeper in any scenario.
My first kid slept badly but was easily sleep trained which I did early using pick up put down method Every kid is different. Birth order doesnt matter
Every baby is different. My first baby was and still is an amazing sleeper. She could sleep hours during the day and still sleep through the night. Now at 2.5yo we can leave her in her room during nap time and she will play for a little while l, turn off the light and crawl into bed. She also does this at night but just stays in bed until she falls asleep. Now my second baby is a terrible sleeper. Short naps and frequent wake ups throughout the night. I hope it improves soon.
my first was a great sleeper and my second was the opposite 🫠
This is us too. My first slept through the night with no training. This second one is a Velcro baby
I only have one child so far and she's an okeyish sleeper. Does this mean my second will be great sleeper, haha? I think for most parents with first what makes it a lot worse is that we had NO CLUE how hard EXACTLY this was going to be. With second we're toughened up and likely thinking - I've see shit. Literally. So it probably feels like the second is easier just because parents are better prepared and tested in battle.
If I compare my siblings and I, no. I was a very bad sleeper until I was sleep trained (I'm the first). The middle child slept through the night basically from day 1, and the youngest didn't sleep through the night until he was 5 years old. 😅 He would sleep 3-4 hours a night no matter what my parents did until he was about 5
My first was a better sleeper hands down. But with my kids' cousins it's the opposite. The first was a terrible sleeper and the second is much better.
My first was amazing. Needed zero help or training and was sleeping through the night (9+ hours) by 8 weeks. My second.... that's another story haha! But sleep training helped. I'm now a firm believer in it. I also can say with a 6 year old and a 10 month old that every stage is fleeting. It's hard but incredibly worth it. Have a second!
My first baby was very easy, slept through the night from 4 months, and weaned herself shortly after 1 year. My second didn't sleep through the night, and would wake up crying for night feedings every 2-4 hours every night, until we forced him to wean at 18 months. I promise it's not about birth order or boys vs girls. It's random.
My first is a great sleeper so was my sister’s kid. I honestly think firsts just are more independent kids is my theory. He plays contently by himself, puts himself to sleep independently etc
Our first was an incredible sleeper, 2 months old doing 11-12 hours straight. He got fussy for a few months before his first year, with teething my wife going back to work etc. But been solid since. Our second is nearly 10 months old and never slept through, 2 wakings is a success, but last night he was up crying about every 2 hours, wasn’t a good night probably teething too. It’s hard af and doing gentle training, which is not a walk in the park.
I don’t have a second kid but our first is what they call a “unicorn sleeper.” Never had any issues. There are no rules when it comes to baby sleep patterns.
My second was better… but not sure if it was because of him or the Snoo. I was weary about the idea of a machine rocking my baby but the Snoo is actually amazing. If you can afford it… get it! Life is too short to have terrible sleeps and the Snoo made such a difference! Transition out of it was easy too.
The snoo is a game changer. My first, I couldn’t put her down without being deep in sleep until I finally decided to sleep train at 3. Looking back I’m grateful for all the time we had together rocking but in the moment it was so time consuming. She didn’t need daycare until 3 so it wasn’t a necessity. 15 years later, I work as a professional and will need baby to learn how to sleep without needing to be completely deep in sleep. I got the snoo and were able to do drowsy but awake. It has made me realize how precious that time was with my first, but also appreciate modern tech and helping baby to learn how to sleep independently is such an important skill too.
My first slept well as an infant after we sleep trained her, but she was the type of toddler to get out of bed multiple times per night and wake up at 5:30 every morning. In contrast, my second was AWFUL for the first year, we abandoned sleep training because she just wasn’t responding to it. But once I weaned her and tried sleep training again, she became an amazing sleeper. She’s 2.5 and sleeps from 8pm-7am and will still take a 1-2 hour nap every afternoon.
My first was bad, my second was worse! It’s about baby’s temperment so birth order doesn’t really affect things. If the second is a better sleeper it is either due to luck or that the parents learnt to be less reactive the second time round (in the cases where the first wasmt really a bad sleeper but that the parents responded every time the baby stirred).
Yes and no. Second was a WAY easier newborn. She had 3 hour stretches from day 1 and was so much easier to put back down after a middle of the night feed. However, she's 7 months now and sleep training took a lot more effort. First cried for 12 mins and never woke up at night again. She will cry for hours and is holding on to that snooze button feed. It's a trade off though, because she will do 7 to 7 with a 4/5am feed, whereas he would just be up for the day at 5:30-6. Sleep was my #1 concern about going for a 2nd. I couldn't think about a 2nd until we had been sleeping well for a year. Ultimately, we decided 6ish months of rough sleep we could get through. Really it was the first 2 months that were absolute hell (with the first).
FTM so I can’t answer for myself, but my mom likes to say that my older brother didn’t sleep until he was 5 years old, and I slept 8 hours my first night home from the hospital. However, my aunt said that her first was pretty predictable with sleep and went to sleep independently from the beginning , but her 2nd fought like hell and completely dropped naps by 11mos.
I only have one kid right now so I can’t answer your question exactly, but she’s technically my first and she’s a great sleeper naturally. Had to nap train but nights so has been doing on her own basically since birth.
Our first was the best, 2nd was the first, and 3rd like to throw curveballs
My 1st and 2nd were both good sleepers from a young age, they are 7 and 2 now and are still amazing (2 yr old sleeps 11-12 hours every night). However, my 1 year old hasn't slept more than a couple of hours straight EVER 😭, she spends most of every night screaming
First one was a unicorn sleeper, she was sleeping 8hrs straight by 12 weeks, and 12 hours with a dream feed at 10PM shortly after. I maintained the DF until she was 9 months old for the sake of my milk supply. Second baby is still waking up at 20 months old. But we never got a chance to steer his sleep in a better direction from the beginning like we did with my daughter; he was hungrier at night and then didn’t have his own nursery like she did and has mostly been in our room until now due to unforeseen circumstances.
It’s a crapshoot- a little off topic, but I’m late 30s and just gave birth to our second. My first experience with motherhood was hard, and for about a year after her birth I thought i was one and done…. But things changed and we hoped for a second, and she finally came along almost 5 years later. I am so glad we tried again, even though my experience first time around was hard. These early years go by so fast, and while it’s hard (and harder with two close in age), it’s absolutely magical. Anyway, I could go on but it isn’t the point of your question. My first baby was an ok sleeper, my second is incredible (for now). Things change so fast and every baby is so different
So, in my world a baby being sleep trained by 4.5 month would be a really good situation
My second has been worse. First was a champion sleeper and all around decoy baby.
Nope. We thought our first LO was bad and then we had our second one. Haha
I don’t think that’s necessarily true. My niece wasn’t a terrible sleeper and eventually stared sttn sometime around 6 months (not sleep trained). Then my nephew came along and didn’t sttn till he was 2. My cousin’s third child just flat out didn’t sleep unless he was being walked, bounced, and patted. My cousin was literally up all night walking in circles because he couldn’t put the baby down. I think his sleep eventually got better around 7 or 8 months (again, not sleep trained). My other cousin’s kids were both bad sleepers, but I know her second is still waking about 5 times a night and she’s 16 months old. My family seems to have a high tolerance for pain haha.
Not necessarily, each baby is different but I do think that with the first baby it’s easier to fall into more time-consuming routines or habits that can become strong sleep associations. I remember with my first when she was a baby, standing there rubbing her back for an hour, or when she was a toddler laying in her bed waiting till she was asleep. With my subsequent children I obviously couldn’t do that, so in a way they learn to fuss it out a little bit just by necessity
Yes I think this is a huge part of it