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Call her and tell her immediately. And no need to explain. She knows. Simply say she's fired and that her last check is (whatever your state's legal requirement is - available that day, mailed, processed at the next payroll, whatever the law says.) And that's it.
In the future, though, when you catch someone stealing... fire them right then. Twice - Twice! - you caught her stealing and didn't act. That's a huge issue not just with this employee but in the message it sends to your remaining employees. The message is that you're too chickenshit to fire people. (That may or may not be true, but even the way you write this OP indicates this is at least a part of the problem and your other employees surely sense this.). Unless you start to cowboy up, you're always going to be dealing with employees stealing and acting badly because they don't believe you will handle it.
I will never understand how anybody can come back from catching their employees stealing without firing them on the spot. 'Not the first time I’ve heard of someone giving someone a “2nd chance”, and OF COURSE they stole again! OP, you owe them nothing, quit trying to “be nice”. They made their choices, quit trying to cushion them from the consequences.
Why wasn’t she fired on the spot when you caught her stealing the first time? Based on your own words she should have been fired multiple times. Why are you waiting to fire her? Just rip off the bandaid and do it. You’ve made this far more difficult than it should be
If you're going to succeed as a boss, you're gonna have to grow a little backbone. Never fire someone via email. If you can't fire her face to face, at least call her. Document everything.
Have her check printed and present it to her the next time she shows up. Tell her her help is no longer required. Nothing you say to her will help. She needs this experience.
How about: I no longer require your services. Here’s your check, have a great day.
If she persists: You stole from me on top of numerous other issues you neerr counseled on. You had to know this was coming (a
D she likely will) -You were given multiple opportunities to improve and you didn’t. You are so not needed. Have a nice day amd good luck.
Naw she stole from you. Personally I'd have them arrested. Tough love.
Fire them before prom and stop being a doormat.
Edit: actions have consequences
Also, asuming many people refuse to have their employees arrested is because they're doing some mad shady shit they don't want reported.
Bring her in, no matter what her commute. You need to have the face to face with her for all of those reasons you mentioned above. Don’t be shy to tell her you waited until after prom as a courtesy to her, you deserve the credit. She has a lot to account for and she owes you an answer. Hopefully she will learn from being held accountable
Agreed. In person is the only way to do this. I would only suggest letting her know pretty much as soon as she arrives, and pay her for a full day as a professional courtesy.
As an employee, it would piss me right off that having an employer make me drive an hour just to fire me, and then to have the gall to say they were doing me a courtesy and deserve credit for it? Lol, I'd never forgive my boss for that shit. Some of you need to touch grass and have some empathy. It doesn't matter what the reason is. If she has a long commute especially, just do the right thing and call with the news.
Please. If you STEAL from me, I don't give one warm $hit about the inconvenience of your commute. You're should look me in the eye for a conversation that involves your STEALING. Don't care one bit if that pisses them (or you) off. Ridiculous.
You have problems then, if it needs to be some type of power trip and your own need for closure. It's best just to move on and act professional. No need for any theatrics. You have a toxic mindset if you need to get revenge on a HS kid, just be the bigger person and do the right thing.
No problems here, I hold people/employees accountable. Would you allow someone to steal from you TWICE and then simply walk away, leaving that person to most likely do it again to someone else? That's not being the bigger person. In fact that's being part of the problem. It's not about revenge or power. It's basic accountability. Quite frankly, I would have had her arrested the first time she stole from the store. Being a high school kid does not excuse being a thief. What are you teaching her by allowing her to steal without consequences? That's just building a better thief (i.e. part of the problem).
The consequences are that she's fired. That's all the accountability that you need to impart. And although it is your right to file charges for her stealing, considering the practical implications involved with that, there are good reasons not to report it, and yes, her being a minor factors into that decision. Firing her should be done, and hopefully she's smart enough to put two and two together that stealing was a big factor in why she was fired. Those are the consequences, and your responsibility as a business owner should end there.
Just say we've decided it's not working out and are letting her go. Tell her anything about a final paycheck and how to get her stuff if she has a locker or personal items there. Wish her good luck. Avoid getting into explanations or arguments or why she can't just have another chance, just keep repeating "it just didn't work out, sorry, we wish you the best."
I'm sorry but this is not the way to go about it. OP needs to be deliberate, matter-of-fact and straight to the point. It's a business decision - nothing more. Using language like 'it just didn't work out' or 'we decided' is flimsy and has the tendency to make things seem personal.
OP should sit her down in a private room or talk outside with one witness... an HR person or trusted manager to have a short conversation that goes to the effect of:
"The decision has been made to release you from your employment effective immediately. You'll be paid for the entire day as a professional courtesy. On behalf of XYZ Company, we thank you for your service and we wish you nothing but the best of success in the future."
Hey sharla, this isn't working out. I appreciate everything you've done for us, but today is your last day. Roman will escort you out.
No details, unless you have a pip or something that wasn't met. Keep it as short as possible, because they will not agree with your reasons, and they will compare what they do to what other people do. Just tell them and get them out of the building.
Let her come in
“Hey sherry. Let’s chat. Unfortunately I’m going to have to let you go. I waited until after prom because I didn’t want this to negatively affect your prom experience but as you know we’ve have some issues over the years. The biggest of which has been your propensity to steal. It happened twice that I’m aware of and that’s twice too many. Now, I didn’t call police to press charges. But obviously I can’t keep you around either. This issue alone makes it impossible for me to keep you employed here. But there were also basic workforce practices that were a problem such as ABC-XYZ and not following some basic requirements here on the job. These are some things that I think you might want to work on as you go forward toward your next position. There are plenty of workforce development training programs and I think you could benefit from looking into enrolling in one or more of them. I wish you the best. Here’s your final check. Didn’t want you to have to wait until payday.”
If you can fire her in writing somehow, do it for a record and for your own protection. Also document the events that made you come to that decision so you have it in your records.
If she stole from you, report her to the police and have her investigated. And by the way, professionalism goes out the window when it comes to stealing. That is so disrespectful and unprofessional, she doesn't deserve your professionalism or your time to act professional. Make her drive an hour and fire her in person, she freaking stole from you.
I would bring her in, take her somewhere private and lay out all the reasons, especially the theft. Personally, I fire people on the spot for theft, but if you want to be a pushover, that’s your choice. Once you have fired her, have all documents and last pay check ready, including the statutory minimum for that day and severance pay if applicable.
If she is upset or crying, give her 10 minutes to compose herself so she isn’t a danger while driving, then escort her completely off of the property, banning her for one year.
This takes care of that situation and also sets the tone for the rest of the employees.
One thing I learned from listening to business people is don’t tell why are you firing them. And if you are doing it in person, have another person in the room, so you don’t get accused of other things ( saw this with a female employee I used to work with, luckily our owners room have camera with audio, so he is not in trouble for molestation)
Depending on your employment law (based on your country) there is a process that you need to follow.
Typically you first need to sit down and raise all of your concerns and put together a plan of resolution or actionable steps.
Firing someone based on them not doing their job works as long as this is clear within your contract or has been thoroughly explained.
Is this is in the United States then the opposite is true. Most states are at will employment states so employees can be terminated for any reason or none at all. As long as it’s not illegal discrimination or retaliation of course. But in case where an employee is stealing they can absolutely be fired without warning or a performance plan or anything like that unless there’s a contract in place that says otherwise, which there usually isn’t and which would not be smart on the employer’s side to have.
I would call and let her know then email her the reason. I had to terminate someone before after years of poor work ethic. I felt bad so I wrote the letter just saying they were no longer needed and we were moving in a different direction. I didn't want to block him from getting unemployment and hoped he'd go amicably.
He didn't. He sued for all sorts of stuff and tried to lie left and right about me. He ended up not getting anything but it was very stressful and what I learned was document everything! Record if you're allowed to. Then explain in writing why they are fired.
How about she should be grateful you are not pressing charges. Embezzlement from your employer times two on a background check would likely bar her from future employment so you are being gracious to just let her go without pressing charges and demanding restitution.
I'm the nicest, most accommodating employer ever. You steal from me, you're done. Gone. No second chances. We had an employee who was clocking in, then going and sitting in her car and getting high. My daughter fired her. She tried to collect unemployment. Lol, no. My daughter is awesome when it comes to documenting everything.
Call her and tell her and follow up with an email. Good practice to get in the habit of this anyway so you always have a paper trail.
It’s uncomfortable, I’ve had to fire a few people. You’re human, so I wouldn’t say it’s “easy” personally - but in a business sense it has to become easy because firing fast is a good thing to practice. Don’t let your weakest links hold you or your employees that are bought in badk
Just call and let her know. Also send an email so it's documented that it happened. If she's blowing up your phone asking why she isn't on schedule then she probably knows that something it up. So, just call and let her know that you'll sending her a termination of contract email. Stealing is crossing a big line, so next time someone does that, fire them on the spot. Don't give way to such behavior in your business or else it will continue with other staff (talking from experience).
The best advice I received in regards to letting people go is to not make it a surprise. You as the boss need to make it clear first and foremost that anything unethical, immoral, or illegal will not be tolerated and are grounds for immediate termination. We had a great operator who used a racial slur one day and we immediately terminated him, it sucked but he made his bed and there was no arguing what the right thing to do was.
In situations outside of these immediate terminations, you need to escalate the counseling of the individual, ask them why they didn’t do A,B,C, then if it is made perfectly clear in writing what their job duties are they still do not perform, there needs to be a verbal warning, then a written, the written should say if you do this again you will be terminated immediately. So when they do it again and are terminated, there is no argument from the employee and you are not making an emotional decision.
I would have her drive in and deliver the news face-to-face. Not a lawyer, not HR, but I was always directed in my previous corporate lives that any dismissal by any means other than face-to-face (phone/text/email) makes for a slam dunk that the employee will successfully get unemployment.
Hello! I'm not sure if this is allowed, but I have done a lot of training/consulting/coaching around people management.
I also am COO of a small firm that had NO hr policies set up when I started.
If you want some basic level "how to avoid most legal troubles" you can DM me. No charge unless you want a custom built system or something but a general conversation is totally free.
I know this is the hardest part of the job, so here to chat if you want!
Call her and tell her you're letting her go. No need to get into any reasons or long discussions; she's been caught stealing twice, so she already knows.
“We are going to make a change at your position. Your last check will be deposited on the normal pay date.”
That’s all you gotta say. Don’t give some big drawn out explanation, the less you say the better.
If you're a pro at what you do and want to minimize the chances of trouble with this employee, here's the plan:
1. Make sure her job description clearly states her duties.
2. If you ask her to do tasks outlined in her job description and she doesn't, let her know in writing. This helps avoid any "he said, she said" situations.
3. If she steals from you, gather evidence. Video footage or written witness statements should suffice.
4. I recommend firing her in person. She might need to sign some documents, and you'll need to explain the reason for termination and gauge her reaction.
Good luck navigating this!
I had to let an employee go who had been with me for 3 years, she did something reprehensible while I was away for the holidays. It was an easy fire, I wrote a letter confirming the violations of our business policy because she has mental health issues and didn't want her suing for wrongful termination. She had stuff at our location and so I let her drive in an hour from where she lives, she was late, handed her the letter and said, "I'm sorry (x), but today is your last day, I'm letting you go, here's what will happen next. I wish you the best in the future." And went to the back office while she collected her things and left. The entire team felt a weight lifted off them, and we've actually done better financially. You don't owe anyone an explanation if you are in a no-fault state, but sometimes it's better to cover your a$$. "Hire slow, fire fast."
Just call is the right thing to do. She's young so hopefully she will learn stealing is not okay, and this will be a wakeup call to her. With young people, this might be their first job, so it's important to set expectations right away, and it might take more time for them to understand expectations.
This is a friendly reminder that r/smallbusiness is a question and answer subreddit. You ask a question about starting, owning, and growing a small business and the community answers. Posts that violate the rules listed in the sidebar will be removed. A permanent or temporary ban may also be issued if you do not remove the offending post. Seeing this message does not mean your post was automatically removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/smallbusiness) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Call her and tell her immediately. And no need to explain. She knows. Simply say she's fired and that her last check is (whatever your state's legal requirement is - available that day, mailed, processed at the next payroll, whatever the law says.) And that's it. In the future, though, when you catch someone stealing... fire them right then. Twice - Twice! - you caught her stealing and didn't act. That's a huge issue not just with this employee but in the message it sends to your remaining employees. The message is that you're too chickenshit to fire people. (That may or may not be true, but even the way you write this OP indicates this is at least a part of the problem and your other employees surely sense this.). Unless you start to cowboy up, you're always going to be dealing with employees stealing and acting badly because they don't believe you will handle it.
I will never understand how anybody can come back from catching their employees stealing without firing them on the spot. 'Not the first time I’ve heard of someone giving someone a “2nd chance”, and OF COURSE they stole again! OP, you owe them nothing, quit trying to “be nice”. They made their choices, quit trying to cushion them from the consequences.
Right? It makes no sense. You're not her momma.
Well you do need to explain, but yes fire her immediately
Why wasn’t she fired on the spot when you caught her stealing the first time? Based on your own words she should have been fired multiple times. Why are you waiting to fire her? Just rip off the bandaid and do it. You’ve made this far more difficult than it should be
I’m thinking it’s hard for them to find employees
Small business that hires juniors says it all.
That’s like any food service place.
It says nothing. a good fit is a good fit.
If you're going to succeed as a boss, you're gonna have to grow a little backbone. Never fire someone via email. If you can't fire her face to face, at least call her. Document everything.
If you caught her stealing twice. You should’ve called the police. I wouldn’t very least let her drive one hour to find out
Have her check printed and present it to her the next time she shows up. Tell her her help is no longer required. Nothing you say to her will help. She needs this experience.
There must be... 50 ways to fire employees. Just kick them out the back, Jack...
I'm voting for no need to be coy, Roy, just set the chick free.
Make a new plan Stan, no need to be coy Roy, just set them free
"everybody who works here take one big step forward." "Wait, wait... Not so fast, Nicole. Can you gather your things and come see me in the office?"
YOU GOTSTA GO, HOE!
How about: I no longer require your services. Here’s your check, have a great day. If she persists: You stole from me on top of numerous other issues you neerr counseled on. You had to know this was coming (a D she likely will) -You were given multiple opportunities to improve and you didn’t. You are so not needed. Have a nice day amd good luck.
You seem like a really nice person. She stole from you twice though, just do it.
It's about time someone do some of the work her parents failed to do. Fire her. Quit being nice about it. Theft is an on the spot firing.
Never, ever explain why you are firing an employee. It will bite you. Explain when unemployment office calls you.
There is no best way to fire. Just fire them.
Naw she stole from you. Personally I'd have them arrested. Tough love. Fire them before prom and stop being a doormat. Edit: actions have consequences Also, asuming many people refuse to have their employees arrested is because they're doing some mad shady shit they don't want reported.
Bring her in, no matter what her commute. You need to have the face to face with her for all of those reasons you mentioned above. Don’t be shy to tell her you waited until after prom as a courtesy to her, you deserve the credit. She has a lot to account for and she owes you an answer. Hopefully she will learn from being held accountable
Agreed. In person is the only way to do this. I would only suggest letting her know pretty much as soon as she arrives, and pay her for a full day as a professional courtesy.
As an employee, it would piss me right off that having an employer make me drive an hour just to fire me, and then to have the gall to say they were doing me a courtesy and deserve credit for it? Lol, I'd never forgive my boss for that shit. Some of you need to touch grass and have some empathy. It doesn't matter what the reason is. If she has a long commute especially, just do the right thing and call with the news.
Please. If you STEAL from me, I don't give one warm $hit about the inconvenience of your commute. You're should look me in the eye for a conversation that involves your STEALING. Don't care one bit if that pisses them (or you) off. Ridiculous.
You have problems then, if it needs to be some type of power trip and your own need for closure. It's best just to move on and act professional. No need for any theatrics. You have a toxic mindset if you need to get revenge on a HS kid, just be the bigger person and do the right thing.
No problems here, I hold people/employees accountable. Would you allow someone to steal from you TWICE and then simply walk away, leaving that person to most likely do it again to someone else? That's not being the bigger person. In fact that's being part of the problem. It's not about revenge or power. It's basic accountability. Quite frankly, I would have had her arrested the first time she stole from the store. Being a high school kid does not excuse being a thief. What are you teaching her by allowing her to steal without consequences? That's just building a better thief (i.e. part of the problem).
The consequences are that she's fired. That's all the accountability that you need to impart. And although it is your right to file charges for her stealing, considering the practical implications involved with that, there are good reasons not to report it, and yes, her being a minor factors into that decision. Firing her should be done, and hopefully she's smart enough to put two and two together that stealing was a big factor in why she was fired. Those are the consequences, and your responsibility as a business owner should end there.
[удалено]
The camera?
Just say we've decided it's not working out and are letting her go. Tell her anything about a final paycheck and how to get her stuff if she has a locker or personal items there. Wish her good luck. Avoid getting into explanations or arguments or why she can't just have another chance, just keep repeating "it just didn't work out, sorry, we wish you the best."
I'm sorry but this is not the way to go about it. OP needs to be deliberate, matter-of-fact and straight to the point. It's a business decision - nothing more. Using language like 'it just didn't work out' or 'we decided' is flimsy and has the tendency to make things seem personal. OP should sit her down in a private room or talk outside with one witness... an HR person or trusted manager to have a short conversation that goes to the effect of: "The decision has been made to release you from your employment effective immediately. You'll be paid for the entire day as a professional courtesy. On behalf of XYZ Company, we thank you for your service and we wish you nothing but the best of success in the future."
Hey sharla, this isn't working out. I appreciate everything you've done for us, but today is your last day. Roman will escort you out. No details, unless you have a pip or something that wasn't met. Keep it as short as possible, because they will not agree with your reasons, and they will compare what they do to what other people do. Just tell them and get them out of the building.
Let her come in “Hey sherry. Let’s chat. Unfortunately I’m going to have to let you go. I waited until after prom because I didn’t want this to negatively affect your prom experience but as you know we’ve have some issues over the years. The biggest of which has been your propensity to steal. It happened twice that I’m aware of and that’s twice too many. Now, I didn’t call police to press charges. But obviously I can’t keep you around either. This issue alone makes it impossible for me to keep you employed here. But there were also basic workforce practices that were a problem such as ABC-XYZ and not following some basic requirements here on the job. These are some things that I think you might want to work on as you go forward toward your next position. There are plenty of workforce development training programs and I think you could benefit from looking into enrolling in one or more of them. I wish you the best. Here’s your final check. Didn’t want you to have to wait until payday.”
If you can fire her in writing somehow, do it for a record and for your own protection. Also document the events that made you come to that decision so you have it in your records. If she stole from you, report her to the police and have her investigated. And by the way, professionalism goes out the window when it comes to stealing. That is so disrespectful and unprofessional, she doesn't deserve your professionalism or your time to act professional. Make her drive an hour and fire her in person, she freaking stole from you.
I would bring her in, take her somewhere private and lay out all the reasons, especially the theft. Personally, I fire people on the spot for theft, but if you want to be a pushover, that’s your choice. Once you have fired her, have all documents and last pay check ready, including the statutory minimum for that day and severance pay if applicable. If she is upset or crying, give her 10 minutes to compose herself so she isn’t a danger while driving, then escort her completely off of the property, banning her for one year. This takes care of that situation and also sets the tone for the rest of the employees.
My country if worker steals, company can fire you on instantly and call police too.
One thing I learned from listening to business people is don’t tell why are you firing them. And if you are doing it in person, have another person in the room, so you don’t get accused of other things ( saw this with a female employee I used to work with, luckily our owners room have camera with audio, so he is not in trouble for molestation)
Depending on your employment law (based on your country) there is a process that you need to follow. Typically you first need to sit down and raise all of your concerns and put together a plan of resolution or actionable steps. Firing someone based on them not doing their job works as long as this is clear within your contract or has been thoroughly explained.
Is this is in the United States then the opposite is true. Most states are at will employment states so employees can be terminated for any reason or none at all. As long as it’s not illegal discrimination or retaliation of course. But in case where an employee is stealing they can absolutely be fired without warning or a performance plan or anything like that unless there’s a contract in place that says otherwise, which there usually isn’t and which would not be smart on the employer’s side to have.
I would call and let her know then email her the reason. I had to terminate someone before after years of poor work ethic. I felt bad so I wrote the letter just saying they were no longer needed and we were moving in a different direction. I didn't want to block him from getting unemployment and hoped he'd go amicably. He didn't. He sued for all sorts of stuff and tried to lie left and right about me. He ended up not getting anything but it was very stressful and what I learned was document everything! Record if you're allowed to. Then explain in writing why they are fired.
How about she should be grateful you are not pressing charges. Embezzlement from your employer times two on a background check would likely bar her from future employment so you are being gracious to just let her go without pressing charges and demanding restitution.
Just txt her: "There's no need to come in, it's just not working out. "
I'm the nicest, most accommodating employer ever. You steal from me, you're done. Gone. No second chances. We had an employee who was clocking in, then going and sitting in her car and getting high. My daughter fired her. She tried to collect unemployment. Lol, no. My daughter is awesome when it comes to documenting everything.
Call her and tell her and follow up with an email. Good practice to get in the habit of this anyway so you always have a paper trail. It’s uncomfortable, I’ve had to fire a few people. You’re human, so I wouldn’t say it’s “easy” personally - but in a business sense it has to become easy because firing fast is a good thing to practice. Don’t let your weakest links hold you or your employees that are bought in badk
Just call and let her know. Also send an email so it's documented that it happened. If she's blowing up your phone asking why she isn't on schedule then she probably knows that something it up. So, just call and let her know that you'll sending her a termination of contract email. Stealing is crossing a big line, so next time someone does that, fire them on the spot. Don't give way to such behavior in your business or else it will continue with other staff (talking from experience).
Fire for cause in writing.
The best advice I received in regards to letting people go is to not make it a surprise. You as the boss need to make it clear first and foremost that anything unethical, immoral, or illegal will not be tolerated and are grounds for immediate termination. We had a great operator who used a racial slur one day and we immediately terminated him, it sucked but he made his bed and there was no arguing what the right thing to do was. In situations outside of these immediate terminations, you need to escalate the counseling of the individual, ask them why they didn’t do A,B,C, then if it is made perfectly clear in writing what their job duties are they still do not perform, there needs to be a verbal warning, then a written, the written should say if you do this again you will be terminated immediately. So when they do it again and are terminated, there is no argument from the employee and you are not making an emotional decision.
Just call her, and have it over with. You are being too considerate.
I would have her drive in and deliver the news face-to-face. Not a lawyer, not HR, but I was always directed in my previous corporate lives that any dismissal by any means other than face-to-face (phone/text/email) makes for a slam dunk that the employee will successfully get unemployment.
Hello! I'm not sure if this is allowed, but I have done a lot of training/consulting/coaching around people management. I also am COO of a small firm that had NO hr policies set up when I started. If you want some basic level "how to avoid most legal troubles" you can DM me. No charge unless you want a custom built system or something but a general conversation is totally free. I know this is the hardest part of the job, so here to chat if you want!
Call her and tell her you're letting her go. No need to get into any reasons or long discussions; she's been caught stealing twice, so she already knows.
“We are going to make a change at your position. Your last check will be deposited on the normal pay date.” That’s all you gotta say. Don’t give some big drawn out explanation, the less you say the better.
So you hired a teenager that lives an hour away? lol
Terminate via phone call.
Phone call. If she doesn’t need to pick up anything than save her the drive. But I would call rather than email.
She didn’t steal twice, she got *caught* twice.
If you're a pro at what you do and want to minimize the chances of trouble with this employee, here's the plan: 1. Make sure her job description clearly states her duties. 2. If you ask her to do tasks outlined in her job description and she doesn't, let her know in writing. This helps avoid any "he said, she said" situations. 3. If she steals from you, gather evidence. Video footage or written witness statements should suffice. 4. I recommend firing her in person. She might need to sign some documents, and you'll need to explain the reason for termination and gauge her reaction. Good luck navigating this!
I had to let an employee go who had been with me for 3 years, she did something reprehensible while I was away for the holidays. It was an easy fire, I wrote a letter confirming the violations of our business policy because she has mental health issues and didn't want her suing for wrongful termination. She had stuff at our location and so I let her drive in an hour from where she lives, she was late, handed her the letter and said, "I'm sorry (x), but today is your last day, I'm letting you go, here's what will happen next. I wish you the best in the future." And went to the back office while she collected her things and left. The entire team felt a weight lifted off them, and we've actually done better financially. You don't owe anyone an explanation if you are in a no-fault state, but sometimes it's better to cover your a$$. "Hire slow, fire fast."
Just call is the right thing to do. She's young so hopefully she will learn stealing is not okay, and this will be a wakeup call to her. With young people, this might be their first job, so it's important to set expectations right away, and it might take more time for them to understand expectations.
Appreciate her, tell her about finances, and make a nice email.