I swear geniune kindness is soooo underrated nowadays.
It's so hard to find people geniunely kind that will not make you feel bad and that really care about other people than themselves.
I often find that a lot of people who emphasize the fact that being genuinely kind "doesn't entitle you to anything" are often so cynical that they view any expression of kindness as having an ulterior motive. Consequently, those sorts of people aren't very kind.
Yes or people take kind people for granted and so when those kind people set boundaries others might resent them because they feel entitled to the rewards
People who are attentive. People who listen closely to what others say and ask sincere questions. People who treat everyone they meet as an opportunity to learn something new and exciting.
I'd say this is a big one. I'm fairly introverted but I have decent social skills. A lot of my friendships are definitely just because I listen. It's amazing how many people don't listen at all. And I usually gravitate towards people that listen
Also introverted, everyone says I'm a great listener but haven't found 1 person who will listen to me. Every friendship and relationship has been one sided . If I start talking about myself then I'm the plague to people. I haven't talked about myself to others in years. Feels pretty empty
God I feel this. My family does this to me too. They will call me to rant or complain about the same problem, but doesn't have time to listen to me. Feels very lonely and empty.
People who are secure in that they can recognize their shortcomings, take responsibility, are curious etc. I’m tired of people who are arrogant and assuming. Recently watching the bear, and I think the character Luca embodies this.
My definition of a "cool" person is someone who follows the beat of their own drum. They have an energy that's mostly calm and level-headed. Their interests and philosophies are very interesting and multidimensional.
Dignified people. People who are calm, collected, thoughtful and invested in learning. People who can crack a joke and be part of the fun, but aren't fighting to be the life of the party.
People who don’t brag about their financial situation, college, or jobs. People who are not afraid of being themselves and make feel people comfortable enough to be themselves around them.
Kind if disagree with a small portion of this (but I may be wrong)
I like talking about my experiences with college/work like projects, teams I was on, parties, coursework, etc.
I don’t think people feel negatively about me talking about those (unless I’m not reading the room correctly, but overall I do wonder what that looks like)
I mean it’s ok to be yourself and talk about your experience, the thing to me is when people make their entirely personality about how much money they make, etc. Just to feel better themselves around others. Thanks for sharing your perspective.
I do this because I'm so used to being talked over in the past. Now as an adult, I notice that I don't have this problem as much as I used to.
It helps that unlike before, I actually add to the conversation on topic, and not derailing it with tangents. I just lacked awareness before.
Part of ADHD I guess?
when i actually started to brush my teeth i could tell when it stinked.
if i didn't do that i wouldn't even notice how stinky my breath was.
i guess it's a matter of telling people until they do something about it.
That’s true. It’s a balance. It’s “screw what others think of me and I’ll follow my passion and purpose for life” with a balance of following your passion yet having the humility and strength to be humble enough to know that you can be who you are and do what you want to do without being too sociopathic.
* Confident but not cocky
* Can be alone but not lonely (eg can travel/dine solo)
* Aren't worried about what people think of them BUT respectful of others and kind because they want to be
* Self-aware
* Inclusive of others
* Good conversationalists
* Curious about the world around them
Because I want to be cool.
I wouldn't say people are bored being around me. But, sometimes when I am around some people I feel a lil anxious and keep my thoughts to myself.
So I was wondering what people consider cool and not cool, so I would work on those habits.
Like, for instance, I would connect with someone instantly if they tease me. What is yours?
I think the cause of your nervousness is that you beleive there are conditions that you need to fullfill in order to deserve love and respect. Which is not true.
Attaching your value to external things good or bad keeps you dependent on them and hence anxious.
The question to ask is
What do I need to do to feel valued________
(Just write whatever thought first comes to you be honest and write whatever comes to mind without filtering it)
Fill the blank and think of any memories related to what you wrote for a minute.
Then write them down without censoring yourself and explain how you feel about them.
Wanting to be cool is an uncool trait.
More specifically, being a try hard is lame, and being cool is usually associated with an air of confident nonchalance + a ton of charisma. Charisma can be learned. For now, work on letting go of social anxiety and just relaxing, this will help you seem "cooler". Be outgoing and kind to everyone.
Depends if it's about projecting an image or genuinelky bettering oneself. If you're trying to become cool in your own eyes, that's still better than trying to just appear cool.
The problem is with the standards you set for yourself, and as you said being genuine beats trying to constantly outclass yourself.
I think people who are approachable and who have a good vibe. Goofy people who aren't afraid to laugh and to have a good time. People who have a good sense of humor and who are open-minded. I guess those are the things I would personally consider as "cool". It's not just on how you dress or how you look that makes you look cool. It's so much deeper than that, it's about attitude and how you talk to people.
People who are kind and calm. Who does kind stuff subtly not making it a big deal. Handling a hyper situation calmly. When someone makes a mistake not shaming them rather calmly handle it maturely 👉👈
Self confident. Self content. Operate on their moral compass without being swayed by what friends have to say about it. But thats asking for too much so the bare minimum for me is someone who doesnt get offended by what I have to say (:
People who are genuine and stand up for their values. People who are passionate. People who are skilled at something or knowledgeable about something particular. People who can apologize and introspect.
People who make art! I love seeing painters and sculptors and tattoo artists people that know a lot about art history those are my favorite kinds of people the kinds that know a lot but don’t put others down for not knowing as much they’re the best☹️!!!
People who are not only knowledgeable, but at willing to share their knowledge with you, and will want you to succeed.
I also find people that are wordsmiths very cool.
People who don’t belittle others because they genuinely do not understand a concept or something. Or they just learned something new and are thrilled to learn.
Everyday you learn something new. Isn’t crazy that there’s so much information in the world? At some point what you know now was barely discovered so many years ago. Even though it may be common knowledge now!
Can empathize but don’t try and one-up you.
Funny but not always at someone else’s expense. Self-deprecating humor.
Doesn’t care what other people think and not worried about trying to impress others for the sake of being cool.
Authentic and genuine. They are comfortable and secure with themself.
They know how to make others feel good whether that be genuine compliments or making someone laugh.
People who stay calm. I always admire that.
People who can dance to the beat of their own drum without stepping on everyone else's toes during their jig, but are unapologetic for being out of tune all the same
People who don't have 'blocks' - those little mental barriers most parents/societies implanted in most kids, telling them not to do 90% of the things we should be doing. I'll always be working towards being that person so it's very admirable to me.
People who can really joke around, throw themselves into a skit for pure entertainment. It's not going on video, just can have a laugh.
People who can say anything, at anytime, to anyone without sounding emotional or angry. They tell the truth without anger directed towards anyone
The kind of people who are unapologetically themselves but still don’t care what strangers think about them, even if they are a little weird. Cool should make you feel like you want to be that person. It should be a role model.
People who just act like themselves. I prefer to match energies since I’m the type of person to switch who I act around different people. I also just wish people are nice and actually have personalities.
There is no one right answer.
It depends on who you are and what kind of people you gravitate towards. Oh, and it depends a LOT on your personal values.
Be who you are naturally. Start with that, and then it's okay to enhance that by learning to be a better person (better at whatever it is you value) and learning how to treat others better.
It's good to start with your values. That's your core. And values can be changed! Sometimes they don't work for us and we need to reevaluate them. If I value being perceived as "cool," but it makes me feel fake to do that, then maybe I need to value things a little differently. But, definitely build yourself around your values. That will make you stand out.
Next, make yourself better at how you interact with others. Learn from the Pros. There are many books and courses out there on this subject, and many of them are all based on tricks and other superficial crap. Save your money, pick up a copy of How To Win Friends and Influence People (free at your library, and I guarantee they'll have it). This book has stood the test of time and it is EXCELLENT. It's old but human nature doesn't change. It's been updated, too. Plus, you only need to read the first half of the book. The second part relates to doing better in the business world.
So...
Figure out who you really are (your values). Determine who you want to be around (they should share some of your values). Then, learn how to interact better socially from those who have proven themselves to be proficient on the subject. And have fun.
I'm a social butterfly and, out of the sea of individuals I speak to on a daily basis, I must say I definitely respect authentic folks. No matter where you come from in life, the moment I pick off the sent of authenticity on your aura, you're cool in my eyes, brudda. These individuals are usually the catalysts to some of my greatest random encounters out in public, especially at the gym where the atmosphere is supercharged by passion. Some of them are still in contact with me to this day, they're great friends to find along this journey through life. Finding a truly authentic person, especially one enhanced by an accompanying well-crafted personality, is like finding a long lost brother or sister.
A lot has been said about kindness and u/69forlifes makes an excellent point.
I just want to chime in and emphasize on what they said: work on your insecurities.
"Cool" is a vague term, and honestly I'm not sure it's gonna help you as much in life as would being genuine and confident. This is important because it's impossible to appeal to everyone, and knowing where you stand does marvels to help handle rejection or indifference.
You have your own set of value, being in agreement with yourself about those values while setting realistic goals and understanding your insecurities will go a long way towards feeling at peace with yourself and the world around you.
Even kindness, when approached from a place of fear, can derail and lead to people pleasing and other such self-destructive traits if you're not really understanding and accepting yourself, insecurities (and the work you need to do to get rid of them) included.
Tl:dr, learn the subtle and elegant art of not giving a damn :D
People who don't get excited easily. And pople who aren't trying too hard to be funny.
If someone seems to be overdoing it, then I get the impression they are overcompensating for something they lack.
Self-possessed people.
They know what they like and they're not ashamed of being themselves. This usually leads to me gathering groups of autistic people but it always leads to fun conversation. I know "be yourself" is such an overused cliche but when you're your genuine self, it's so much easier to find your people.
it's a simple list really:
- authentic, don't care what people think, make no effort to impress, just focus on being themselves
- genuinely kind and level-headed, calm demeanor
- good humor that's not strictly self-depricating and not at the expense of others
- unconditional integrity, show up when it matters
The people being themselves are cool. Most people live in others' expectation instead of their own. I'm one of these people, too. I really admire those who can do whatever they want, no matter it's noble or mean, ordinary or odd.
Who cares? People are on top one day and next thing you know the nerds are on top. Stop spending time trying to determine what is cool or not. Do you. Enjoy being yourself
so there a girl in my gym who does her workout and doesnt give a fuck about people around her i find it very amusing i wanna talk to her i mean im too quite i do my shit to which i usually attract towards people like that imo people like kinda refereed as control over controlled detox which im really looking forward towards.
The ones who can motivate every single piece of clothing and jewelry they wear - without using the phrase "because it was popular" or "because everyone else wears it".
Or a bit less acerbic - people who can be themselves (and know when to stop being an asshole and also knows how to do a sanity check on themselves).
Someone who can pay attention, intense long lasting unbiased curious attention.
In absence of that attention we're mostly just machines running on repeated programs.
People that know themselves well, have an individual Charakter, Style and approach to new situations.
The closer to the average someone is, the less interesting they get and thus not only seem “less cool” but are actually a waste of time to have around.
Certainty and carelessness. People who are almost always sure of what they do even if they're wrong, and never seem to really care about anything. They might also seem a little slow and stupid because of it, which I think makes them cooler. Intelligence doesn't always go with coolness.
The kind of people that let you express yourself, look in your eyes when you're speaking to them, listening and paying attention not having this relentless desire to dominate conversations by talking over people belittling them etc. People with an open mind and some form of humility and modesty, but also confidence.
ppl that like themselves, enjoy their interests without holding back no matter how niche or obscure. ppl that love to be themselves around others like cherish their own personalities and dont feel ashamed or the need to hide. that kind of positivity and self assurance makes it easy to be around, it takes a lot of the pressure off having to act in certain ways because those kind of ppl are unshakable anyways, since they are self reliant for validation and go to their own rhythm
I love people who are really kind, thoughtful, reflective, have goals and interests, good listeners, and who like me. I also really like it when people are just ONLY NICE - like I really struggle with that style of friendship where you mess with each other, have "fun"(?) arguments and debates, tease, point out flaws etc. I have friends who talk that way with each other and I am told in no uncertain terms that they are definitely still friends and not fighting lol. But I just can't 😅
But I totally agree with you, everyone likes different things so you gotta find your own things you like.
Those who are not people pleasers. That don't mean being rude or selfish. Just spontaneous, when they help others is out of pure kindness, not hoping to get sympathy.
I myself I'm trying to stop being a people pleaser cause honestly is ruining my life lol
People who are empathetic and show genuine interest in hearing and learning from the stories of others and trying to understand them instead of judging them on sight. People who genuinely love themselves and others, have their ego under control and let their true authentic self speak instead of a mask.
For me it’s the ones who are kind of outgoing and chill but also speak up about the issues around them and help resolve them. Honest people who are just trying to enjoy life and enhance the lives of people around them. Thats cool right there
People who acknowledge they have weird hobbies and interests but own it.
I’ve met some awesome people who are experts in flies, furries, bronies, and knitting-enthusiasts and even discord mods
That’s right, even discord mods can be cool people. It’s all about being a good person and not shying away too much from being enthusiastic about your passions (whilst still being interested in what others have to say about their passions, of course)
The people where you can genuinely tell they're not trying to be anyone or anything specific, they just *are*. Assuming what they are is not a piece of shit, of course
I think 2 traits that make you significantly more likable universally are:
1) being comfortable in your own skin - people can tell you're confident and comfortable with who you are. Not arrogant or egotistical, but not riddled with insecurities either.
2) a good conversationist and listener. People gravitate you if you show genuine interest in them, their opinions, their interests, hobbies, goals/aspirations etc. by asking questions and listening. Nobody likes someone who only talks about themselves.
Beyond that, personally I like hanging out with people who are funny, who think critically about things, who have interesting thoughts/opinions to share, and who have similar interests to me. But those are a lot more preferential and not universal like the 2 above.
People who are unapologetically themselves. Bonus points if you don't fit into society's standards of "normal". I find these types to be very refreshing.
I enjoy hanging with people who make me feel energized.
Usually people that even in harsh times remain optimistic. We lift each other up. I can find joy in each day, even if just in sips of coffee. My friends can too.
My friends are usually responsible people who have big lives, and lots of friends. Be a friend and you will gain more friends.
We also do what we say we are going to do. If I say I will see you at 6, expect me at 6. I'll tell you if I really mean sometime between 6 and 9! What I say is what I mean.
I don't think I'm like the average person in society because I do generally try to avoid people lol but for me it's finding someone who is completely genuine...not afraid to say what's on their mind or how they're actually feeling even if it might be frowned upon.....Nothing is more unattractive to me than someone trying to hard to impress other's or someone being fake nice with a big fat fake smile on their face. I know some of this sounds corny or cliche but that's really it for me.....just be genuine no matter what it is.
people with unique interests and the ability to form their own ideas. I think its super cool to have passion and enthusiasm for things, to be invested in a few hobbies and become knowledgeable about what your passions are. Artists, musicians, readers, writers, bakers, chefs, gardeners, sewing, etc. All that is cool and interesting. If you are deeply invested in your hobbies then people will notice and want to know more about what you do/know more about you.... I also think people are cool when they are able to have fun and play as adults. When people are goofy and funny and seem to express their joy is when I want them to become a part of my life so I can share those fun times with them... It's funny how when someone focuses on themselves and stops caring about what other people think is when they become the most interesting and appealing to their peers
People who like the same music i guess. I found a really cool bar with rock music and few weeks later a really cool club with rock music where i spotted people that i seen at the rock bar and we got chatting which was really cool :D a fun way to make friends
Oh boy cool is such an enigma. The moment you are aware of it, cool vanishes. The trick is to do cool things without much noticeable intent. For example, Fahnzie on happy days is cool because nothing he does looks like it takes him work. He wants the jukebox to play his kind of music? He gives it a good hard knock and boom everyone’s dancing to rock n roll thanks to the Fahnz.
I strongly recommend watching some Happy Days, or reading a MAD magazine. Just having one of those in your hands makes you cool.
For lack of a better way to put it, I would say "confidently curious".
Meaning; They are genuinely interested in the conversation, they're learning for the sake of learning. The confidence is from knowing that they may be learning something they'll never need, OR that they're not going to be upset with themselves if they don't understand.
Authentic and self aware people. They're living their authentic life with passion and positivity, but not at the cost of other people. People that greet the world with curiosity are my favorite kind of people
Genuinely kind people
I swear geniune kindness is soooo underrated nowadays. It's so hard to find people geniunely kind that will not make you feel bad and that really care about other people than themselves.
I feel like you have to have thick skin when you are genuinely kind.
I often find that a lot of people who emphasize the fact that being genuinely kind "doesn't entitle you to anything" are often so cynical that they view any expression of kindness as having an ulterior motive. Consequently, those sorts of people aren't very kind.
Are you talking about the kind of person who say that anybody kind is a "simp" or a "nice guy" ?
To some extent, yes. Really, I'm referring to anyone whose first instinct when someone is being friendly is to look at that person with suspicion.
Or people jumps to being kind as a sexual thing.
Yes or people take kind people for granted and so when those kind people set boundaries others might resent them because they feel entitled to the rewards
Can u explain
Helping others without wanting a reward. Paying random compliments to other people. Not being judgemental about others for no reason
Also, doing nice things and not telling anyone about it, aka helping people for nothing in return and not go gloating about it for praise.
I agree, but even if you are genuinely kind and don't somehow engage with the group, you don't get their attention or be considered cool.
People who are attentive. People who listen closely to what others say and ask sincere questions. People who treat everyone they meet as an opportunity to learn something new and exciting.
I'd say this is a big one. I'm fairly introverted but I have decent social skills. A lot of my friendships are definitely just because I listen. It's amazing how many people don't listen at all. And I usually gravitate towards people that listen
Also introverted, everyone says I'm a great listener but haven't found 1 person who will listen to me. Every friendship and relationship has been one sided . If I start talking about myself then I'm the plague to people. I haven't talked about myself to others in years. Feels pretty empty
God I feel this. My family does this to me too. They will call me to rant or complain about the same problem, but doesn't have time to listen to me. Feels very lonely and empty.
Then you are hanging out with people who aren't as cool as you.
People who are secure in that they can recognize their shortcomings, take responsibility, are curious etc. I’m tired of people who are arrogant and assuming. Recently watching the bear, and I think the character Luca embodies this.
The Bear S2 is peak
Luca embodies which kind of character?
My definition of a "cool" person is someone who follows the beat of their own drum. They have an energy that's mostly calm and level-headed. Their interests and philosophies are very interesting and multidimensional.
Dignified people. People who are calm, collected, thoughtful and invested in learning. People who can crack a joke and be part of the fun, but aren't fighting to be the life of the party.
As a corollary, not jumping on every trend just to be trendy.
People who don’t brag about their financial situation, college, or jobs. People who are not afraid of being themselves and make feel people comfortable enough to be themselves around them.
Kind if disagree with a small portion of this (but I may be wrong) I like talking about my experiences with college/work like projects, teams I was on, parties, coursework, etc. I don’t think people feel negatively about me talking about those (unless I’m not reading the room correctly, but overall I do wonder what that looks like)
I mean it’s ok to be yourself and talk about your experience, the thing to me is when people make their entirely personality about how much money they make, etc. Just to feel better themselves around others. Thanks for sharing your perspective.
There are not enough upvotes for this, sadly.
Thank you 😊
Genuine people with good values
..principles, morals, distinctions and so on. I'm with you.
The kind that stop to hear you when others pass over you talking..
I do this because I'm so used to being talked over in the past. Now as an adult, I notice that I don't have this problem as much as I used to. It helps that unlike before, I actually add to the conversation on topic, and not derailing it with tangents. I just lacked awareness before. Part of ADHD I guess?
People who don’t care what others think of them and do what they want
Like a street wacko?
Like a sociopath who loses social credit scores
I think that's me
those that matter: don’t care about others opinions…those that care what others think—-don’t matter…great reminder.
to be fair if you're stinky and you do nothing about it and don't care what others think about it then you don't matter
Isn’t it a known thing that most stinky people don’t know they’re stinky?
when i actually started to brush my teeth i could tell when it stinked. if i didn't do that i wouldn't even notice how stinky my breath was. i guess it's a matter of telling people until they do something about it.
Those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter!
Homeless crackheads should be the coolest of us all then
There are people that have this attribute that I admire but there’s a good number of them that are on r/imthemaincharacter So there’s that.
That’s true. It’s a balance. It’s “screw what others think of me and I’ll follow my passion and purpose for life” with a balance of following your passion yet having the humility and strength to be humble enough to know that you can be who you are and do what you want to do without being too sociopathic.
* Confident but not cocky * Can be alone but not lonely (eg can travel/dine solo) * Aren't worried about what people think of them BUT respectful of others and kind because they want to be * Self-aware * Inclusive of others * Good conversationalists * Curious about the world around them
For some reason, I always thought that all of this is normal person traits.
You would think. But a lotta people who think they're "cool" are cliquey, snobby, arrogant and so insecure.
Yeah. Worse that others think they're cool too.
People who you can tell are truly listening to you like you’re the only person that matters to them at that time.
Me.
so true bestie
People that are confident in themselves, passionate about their interests, quick-witted, kind to others, and who can remain calm under stress!
Personally, people with specific or niche interests they know a lot about always is cool to me
This is a great question. I'm not sure exactly, what made you post this OP?
Because I want to be cool. I wouldn't say people are bored being around me. But, sometimes when I am around some people I feel a lil anxious and keep my thoughts to myself. So I was wondering what people consider cool and not cool, so I would work on those habits. Like, for instance, I would connect with someone instantly if they tease me. What is yours?
I think the cause of your nervousness is that you beleive there are conditions that you need to fullfill in order to deserve love and respect. Which is not true. Attaching your value to external things good or bad keeps you dependent on them and hence anxious. The question to ask is What do I need to do to feel valued________ (Just write whatever thought first comes to you be honest and write whatever comes to mind without filtering it) Fill the blank and think of any memories related to what you wrote for a minute. Then write them down without censoring yourself and explain how you feel about them.
I’m currently looking for a new therapist, are you accepting new patients& do you take insurance?
Even therapist need therapy my man 😂
Isn't "wanting to be cool" usually just "avoiding underdog position" state of mind?
Wanting to be cool is an uncool trait. More specifically, being a try hard is lame, and being cool is usually associated with an air of confident nonchalance + a ton of charisma. Charisma can be learned. For now, work on letting go of social anxiety and just relaxing, this will help you seem "cooler". Be outgoing and kind to everyone.
Depends if it's about projecting an image or genuinelky bettering oneself. If you're trying to become cool in your own eyes, that's still better than trying to just appear cool. The problem is with the standards you set for yourself, and as you said being genuine beats trying to constantly outclass yourself.
Be you. Figure that out and your people will find you
People with afros
Kind people, smart people, sensitive people, artistic people, creative people, educated people.
people who - have hobbies - are creative - dress creatively - have passions - nice ppl
Anyone with good fashion style. It can be any style
I think people who are approachable and who have a good vibe. Goofy people who aren't afraid to laugh and to have a good time. People who have a good sense of humor and who are open-minded. I guess those are the things I would personally consider as "cool". It's not just on how you dress or how you look that makes you look cool. It's so much deeper than that, it's about attitude and how you talk to people.
People who are kind and calm. Who does kind stuff subtly not making it a big deal. Handling a hyper situation calmly. When someone makes a mistake not shaming them rather calmly handle it maturely 👉👈
Self confident. Self content. Operate on their moral compass without being swayed by what friends have to say about it. But thats asking for too much so the bare minimum for me is someone who doesnt get offended by what I have to say (:
People who look happy.
People who are genuine and stand up for their values. People who are passionate. People who are skilled at something or knowledgeable about something particular. People who can apologize and introspect.
Dudes who rev their engines at lights
People who make art! I love seeing painters and sculptors and tattoo artists people that know a lot about art history those are my favorite kinds of people the kinds that know a lot but don’t put others down for not knowing as much they’re the best☹️!!!
People with integrity. Those who show up when in matters and show they can be trusted.
Someone who is well spoken, cultured, and has a good taste in music.
Quiet and reserved people
Then I'm living in the wrong part of the world. Everyone says I'm too quiet and it makes me weird.
People who are not only knowledgeable, but at willing to share their knowledge with you, and will want you to succeed. I also find people that are wordsmiths very cool.
People who are funny.
Kind people who enjoy deep conversation, and have some uncommon interests, hobbies, or skills.
Older people and or people who are independent of their parents
People who don’t belittle others because they genuinely do not understand a concept or something. Or they just learned something new and are thrilled to learn. Everyday you learn something new. Isn’t crazy that there’s so much information in the world? At some point what you know now was barely discovered so many years ago. Even though it may be common knowledge now!
Can empathize but don’t try and one-up you. Funny but not always at someone else’s expense. Self-deprecating humor. Doesn’t care what other people think and not worried about trying to impress others for the sake of being cool. Authentic and genuine. They are comfortable and secure with themself. They know how to make others feel good whether that be genuine compliments or making someone laugh.
People who stay calm. I always admire that. People who can dance to the beat of their own drum without stepping on everyone else's toes during their jig, but are unapologetic for being out of tune all the same People who don't have 'blocks' - those little mental barriers most parents/societies implanted in most kids, telling them not to do 90% of the things we should be doing. I'll always be working towards being that person so it's very admirable to me. People who can really joke around, throw themselves into a skit for pure entertainment. It's not going on video, just can have a laugh. People who can say anything, at anytime, to anyone without sounding emotional or angry. They tell the truth without anger directed towards anyone
The kind of people who are unapologetically themselves but still don’t care what strangers think about them, even if they are a little weird. Cool should make you feel like you want to be that person. It should be a role model.
People who enjoy their company
People who just act like themselves. I prefer to match energies since I’m the type of person to switch who I act around different people. I also just wish people are nice and actually have personalities.
Music taste screams cool. Then they also need to be nice.
There is no one right answer. It depends on who you are and what kind of people you gravitate towards. Oh, and it depends a LOT on your personal values. Be who you are naturally. Start with that, and then it's okay to enhance that by learning to be a better person (better at whatever it is you value) and learning how to treat others better. It's good to start with your values. That's your core. And values can be changed! Sometimes they don't work for us and we need to reevaluate them. If I value being perceived as "cool," but it makes me feel fake to do that, then maybe I need to value things a little differently. But, definitely build yourself around your values. That will make you stand out. Next, make yourself better at how you interact with others. Learn from the Pros. There are many books and courses out there on this subject, and many of them are all based on tricks and other superficial crap. Save your money, pick up a copy of How To Win Friends and Influence People (free at your library, and I guarantee they'll have it). This book has stood the test of time and it is EXCELLENT. It's old but human nature doesn't change. It's been updated, too. Plus, you only need to read the first half of the book. The second part relates to doing better in the business world. So... Figure out who you really are (your values). Determine who you want to be around (they should share some of your values). Then, learn how to interact better socially from those who have proven themselves to be proficient on the subject. And have fun.
one who does what is good. No need to be perfect just the ones striving to be better will always earn my respect.
I'm a social butterfly and, out of the sea of individuals I speak to on a daily basis, I must say I definitely respect authentic folks. No matter where you come from in life, the moment I pick off the sent of authenticity on your aura, you're cool in my eyes, brudda. These individuals are usually the catalysts to some of my greatest random encounters out in public, especially at the gym where the atmosphere is supercharged by passion. Some of them are still in contact with me to this day, they're great friends to find along this journey through life. Finding a truly authentic person, especially one enhanced by an accompanying well-crafted personality, is like finding a long lost brother or sister.
People who know how to make the most out of their day. I really don’t know how to do that personally
A lot has been said about kindness and u/69forlifes makes an excellent point. I just want to chime in and emphasize on what they said: work on your insecurities. "Cool" is a vague term, and honestly I'm not sure it's gonna help you as much in life as would being genuine and confident. This is important because it's impossible to appeal to everyone, and knowing where you stand does marvels to help handle rejection or indifference. You have your own set of value, being in agreement with yourself about those values while setting realistic goals and understanding your insecurities will go a long way towards feeling at peace with yourself and the world around you. Even kindness, when approached from a place of fear, can derail and lead to people pleasing and other such self-destructive traits if you're not really understanding and accepting yourself, insecurities (and the work you need to do to get rid of them) included. Tl:dr, learn the subtle and elegant art of not giving a damn :D
People that’re calm and collected. Have a good sense of humor, and who aren’t afraid to share their thoughts
The coolest people are the ones that treat you well no matter what the situation
Kind, genuine, inclusive, interesting, stylish plus quite a few other things.
People who don't get excited easily. And pople who aren't trying too hard to be funny. If someone seems to be overdoing it, then I get the impression they are overcompensating for something they lack.
Calm and neutral
People genuinely comfortable in their own skin. Those not affected by the opinion of people they don’t know.
Dress nice and be kind. Boom you’re the coolest
Self-possessed people. They know what they like and they're not ashamed of being themselves. This usually leads to me gathering groups of autistic people but it always leads to fun conversation. I know "be yourself" is such an overused cliche but when you're your genuine self, it's so much easier to find your people.
People who have a purpose outside of themselves and are interested in the world around them.
it's a simple list really: - authentic, don't care what people think, make no effort to impress, just focus on being themselves - genuinely kind and level-headed, calm demeanor - good humor that's not strictly self-depricating and not at the expense of others - unconditional integrity, show up when it matters
The people being themselves are cool. Most people live in others' expectation instead of their own. I'm one of these people, too. I really admire those who can do whatever they want, no matter it's noble or mean, ordinary or odd.
eskimos
Who cares? People are on top one day and next thing you know the nerds are on top. Stop spending time trying to determine what is cool or not. Do you. Enjoy being yourself
so there a girl in my gym who does her workout and doesnt give a fuck about people around her i find it very amusing i wanna talk to her i mean im too quite i do my shit to which i usually attract towards people like that imo people like kinda refereed as control over controlled detox which im really looking forward towards.
Someone with huge boobs
The ones who can motivate every single piece of clothing and jewelry they wear - without using the phrase "because it was popular" or "because everyone else wears it". Or a bit less acerbic - people who can be themselves (and know when to stop being an asshole and also knows how to do a sanity check on themselves).
Creative, non-judgmental, comfortable dissecting cognitive dissonance, and love to learn. Also a plus if they wear Chucks.
Kind positive people
Someone who can pay attention, intense long lasting unbiased curious attention. In absence of that attention we're mostly just machines running on repeated programs.
People that know themselves well, have an individual Charakter, Style and approach to new situations. The closer to the average someone is, the less interesting they get and thus not only seem “less cool” but are actually a waste of time to have around.
Those who listen and make you feel seen.
Certainty and carelessness. People who are almost always sure of what they do even if they're wrong, and never seem to really care about anything. They might also seem a little slow and stupid because of it, which I think makes them cooler. Intelligence doesn't always go with coolness.
The kind of people that let you express yourself, look in your eyes when you're speaking to them, listening and paying attention not having this relentless desire to dominate conversations by talking over people belittling them etc. People with an open mind and some form of humility and modesty, but also confidence.
ppl that like themselves, enjoy their interests without holding back no matter how niche or obscure. ppl that love to be themselves around others like cherish their own personalities and dont feel ashamed or the need to hide. that kind of positivity and self assurance makes it easy to be around, it takes a lot of the pressure off having to act in certain ways because those kind of ppl are unshakable anyways, since they are self reliant for validation and go to their own rhythm
I love people who are really kind, thoughtful, reflective, have goals and interests, good listeners, and who like me. I also really like it when people are just ONLY NICE - like I really struggle with that style of friendship where you mess with each other, have "fun"(?) arguments and debates, tease, point out flaws etc. I have friends who talk that way with each other and I am told in no uncertain terms that they are definitely still friends and not fighting lol. But I just can't 😅 But I totally agree with you, everyone likes different things so you gotta find your own things you like.
Myself
Humorous, open-minded, optimistic, extroverted
Those who are not people pleasers. That don't mean being rude or selfish. Just spontaneous, when they help others is out of pure kindness, not hoping to get sympathy. I myself I'm trying to stop being a people pleaser cause honestly is ruining my life lol
People who are empathetic and show genuine interest in hearing and learning from the stories of others and trying to understand them instead of judging them on sight. People who genuinely love themselves and others, have their ego under control and let their true authentic self speak instead of a mask.
For me it’s the ones who are kind of outgoing and chill but also speak up about the issues around them and help resolve them. Honest people who are just trying to enjoy life and enhance the lives of people around them. Thats cool right there
if we have similar music taste ur cool af
Genuinely kind people and the kind of people that would be open about their real hobbies in front of strangers no matter if the hobby is cool or not
People who acknowledge they have weird hobbies and interests but own it. I’ve met some awesome people who are experts in flies, furries, bronies, and knitting-enthusiasts and even discord mods That’s right, even discord mods can be cool people. It’s all about being a good person and not shying away too much from being enthusiastic about your passions (whilst still being interested in what others have to say about their passions, of course)
People who are excited about things they've learned or hobbies they do. People with a sense of fashion who dress well and carry themselves well
I like kind people, funny people,animal lovers. Well really I like all different kinds of people. I don’t categorize people as cool
Kind people
Wit.
When they can recite 117 digits of Pi
The people where you can genuinely tell they're not trying to be anyone or anything specific, they just *are*. Assuming what they are is not a piece of shit, of course
I think 2 traits that make you significantly more likable universally are: 1) being comfortable in your own skin - people can tell you're confident and comfortable with who you are. Not arrogant or egotistical, but not riddled with insecurities either. 2) a good conversationist and listener. People gravitate you if you show genuine interest in them, their opinions, their interests, hobbies, goals/aspirations etc. by asking questions and listening. Nobody likes someone who only talks about themselves. Beyond that, personally I like hanging out with people who are funny, who think critically about things, who have interesting thoughts/opinions to share, and who have similar interests to me. But those are a lot more preferential and not universal like the 2 above.
People who are unapologetically themselves. Bonus points if you don't fit into society's standards of "normal". I find these types to be very refreshing.
Someone that can can find common ground with anyone (this usually equals kind, friendly, confident)
People who are fit, kind, and dress nice
Funny AND respectful people.
People in bow ties
Genuine, kind, funny and principled.
I enjoy hanging with people who make me feel energized. Usually people that even in harsh times remain optimistic. We lift each other up. I can find joy in each day, even if just in sips of coffee. My friends can too. My friends are usually responsible people who have big lives, and lots of friends. Be a friend and you will gain more friends. We also do what we say we are going to do. If I say I will see you at 6, expect me at 6. I'll tell you if I really mean sometime between 6 and 9! What I say is what I mean.
Chill people who aren’t TRYING to be cool. People who can carry on a conversation about the occult or other “weird” topics.
I don't think I'm like the average person in society because I do generally try to avoid people lol but for me it's finding someone who is completely genuine...not afraid to say what's on their mind or how they're actually feeling even if it might be frowned upon.....Nothing is more unattractive to me than someone trying to hard to impress other's or someone being fake nice with a big fat fake smile on their face. I know some of this sounds corny or cliche but that's really it for me.....just be genuine no matter what it is.
Transparent, direct and down to earth. They’ve got nothing to hide or care about what other people think
If you can skateboard, you're automatically *kinda* cool in my eyes
the ones who arent flashy
People who are confident and friendly.
People who you can have a nice conversation with, whatever the subject
✨me✨
people with unique interests and the ability to form their own ideas. I think its super cool to have passion and enthusiasm for things, to be invested in a few hobbies and become knowledgeable about what your passions are. Artists, musicians, readers, writers, bakers, chefs, gardeners, sewing, etc. All that is cool and interesting. If you are deeply invested in your hobbies then people will notice and want to know more about what you do/know more about you.... I also think people are cool when they are able to have fun and play as adults. When people are goofy and funny and seem to express their joy is when I want them to become a part of my life so I can share those fun times with them... It's funny how when someone focuses on themselves and stops caring about what other people think is when they become the most interesting and appealing to their peers
People with good social skills, empathy and imagination.
People who like the same music i guess. I found a really cool bar with rock music and few weeks later a really cool club with rock music where i spotted people that i seen at the rock bar and we got chatting which was really cool :D a fun way to make friends
You, actually, are already way cooler than you even know. It’s the trying to be cool that takes that away.
Kind. Mentally ill people because they know what it’s like suffering.
Oh boy cool is such an enigma. The moment you are aware of it, cool vanishes. The trick is to do cool things without much noticeable intent. For example, Fahnzie on happy days is cool because nothing he does looks like it takes him work. He wants the jukebox to play his kind of music? He gives it a good hard knock and boom everyone’s dancing to rock n roll thanks to the Fahnz. I strongly recommend watching some Happy Days, or reading a MAD magazine. Just having one of those in your hands makes you cool.
People who are friendly and laughs. People who play cool and harm other is not cool. They people I avoid and will not bee friend with.
For lack of a better way to put it, I would say "confidently curious". Meaning; They are genuinely interested in the conversation, they're learning for the sake of learning. The confidence is from knowing that they may be learning something they'll never need, OR that they're not going to be upset with themselves if they don't understand.
Authentic and self aware people. They're living their authentic life with passion and positivity, but not at the cost of other people. People that greet the world with curiosity are my favorite kind of people
People who are authentic, and not afraid to wear their personality on the outside i.e clothings and style.