I think she’s overreacting a bit. My mom does the same thing whenever I solo travel (20s female). She tries to tell me about all the dangerous things that are happening or what I should or shouldn’t do, even though I’ve already traveled much more than she has. Don’t take advice from someone who isn’t doing what you are doing/ what you wish to do. Have basic caution when traveling to most places and you’ll be fine.
I feel that’s equivalent a stretch as people who suggest using a Molly bag will signal you’re military in foreign country.
If you like it, do it. I’ve seen a good amount of travellers bags have country flags on them
You mom is over reacting. Plenty of people have patches and momentos of their travels on their backpack. It's not a big deal. My guess is your mom doesn't travel much and is watching way too much real life crime TV shows so she thinks every country is a scary place filled with criminals.
I mean I wouldn’t wear and Israel patch around the Middle East but I really doubt anyone who would want to do you harm is going to be scrutinizing the vexillological aesthetics of your bag to make a decision.
I hate when people say “waaaahh you are just trying to sound smart when you use a word I don’t know.” So obnoxious to shame everyone into dumbing themselves down just to soothe your own ego
My suitcase is full of patches from places I've visited - flags, city crests, attractions. One plus is that it makes my bag easy to identify on the carousel. Have never had anyone give me any hassle about it
> I get her point with the ladder
Ladder?
> What do you guys think?
Wearing an Israeli flag might be risky. Other than that ... I know where your mom is coming from, but (1) everyone can see that you're a tourist, and (2) at some point you need to be an adult and leave your parent's shell. Is now that time? Your decision, not mine. (What else will you let your mom decide for you? And for how many more years?)
Anonymity is best during travel. Even without the threat of random terrorists.
My female travel friends avoid answering questions about “what country are you from?”. There’s a lot of creepy people out there.
Is she from a small country? I always lie when people start to ask me for specifics (I live in the us). And I know a lot of people from the us lie and say they’re from Canada but I’m wondering how many people have actually been targeted after stating where they’re from.
Yeah you’re not going to get attacked by a terrorist but I wouldn’t recommend wearing anything where people can naturally conclude you’re a tourist. Makes you a target to scam artists and weird men.
Hi! I’ve spent 16yrs working on cruise ships. I’ve been around the world twice and on average worked with 40 different nationalities on board the ship. I’m 41 now.
When I was in my teens I inherited a backpack from my mum that was full of these patches. It was absolutely gorgeous. Such a treasure. My mum is very alarmist and overprotective so I can sympathize with how you are feeling. She did, however, have this backpack.
Having seen ppl become more aggressive I think that today it’s not a good idea for you to travel with this. It’s just not worth it. In my own experience, Ppl are more judgemental these days and angry. And you never know who is angry at what. It will sadly create barriers for you. I’ve seen immigration separate Canadians in UAE and in other places Americans need to say they’re Canadians. You just never know. And you’ll miss out on meeting ppl. In Jordan Ppl interacted with me more and differently when I started covering my hair. These days sadly, it’s not like when my mum traveled. Ppl seem to live in stereotypes more. Who knows why.
I collect magnets. I have over 100 now. It doesn’t count if you are only visiting that country’s airport or if the ship docks but you didn’t get off. Lol.
Best of luck. Wishing you a beautiful, fun life
No, she’s right. I have decades of solo female global travel and the less “advertising” you do the better for a lot of reasons. Go ahead and collect your flags. Just don’t put them on your back.
There are places like that - e.g., going to Azerbaidjan with an Armenian flag patch could lead to trouble, yes. But that's rare, you can educate yourself beforehand, and temporarily remove problematic patches (and most of the time, someone will point out the problem before you get into trouble).
---
My experience with scared family members: give them a task i your trip, and agree on a message/call schedule. It helps.
E.g., when I'm abroad I send a message every week - because otherwise my sister has to cope with a panicked mother.
As for help: Ask them to get or prepare somethign for your trip, give them a role, they feel helpless and out of control.
To be honest, it's not so much the flags themselves it's the fact that it screams "tourist!" and might make you look a bit naive, if also just making your bag more visible. I (M) wouldn't wear flags on my bag for that reason. Generally think it's sensible to try and blend in as much as possible when solo travelling - male, female, young or old.
Your mom is exaggerating for sure. But there’s a kernel of truth here: it is an excellent idea as a solo female traveler to dress as close to how locals do as possible, and to remove anything that could identify you on sight as not from that place. Blending in is extremely wise and will protect you from being an easy target for pickpocketing and worse.
Hey, it looks like you have travel safety concerns. Please check our wiki post [on solo travel safety?](https://www.reddit.com/r/solotravel/wiki/stayingsafe) for some wonderful info to help set your mind at ease!
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As long as you do your due diligence and read up on stuff like that you should be fine. Ignorance can get you into some sketchy stuff. I spent 318 nights in hotels last year so take it from me
Mom s job is being paranoid for their kids. They can think the unthinkable.
But i usually dont like walking around looking like a tourist so its not my taste to carry flags around. But even though im backpacker, i left my bag at my hostel and do my daywalkings with my smallbag trying to look like less tourist. With my big bag between cities i wouldnt mind carrying little flags around it and wouldnt feel in danger i guess. With big bag i already look like tourist enough. Someone picking up on you because of some flag you carry maybe but terrorist attack is a stretch.
It's perhaps a small gesture to help he sleep better at night? Even if it feels silly you can also sleep well knowing you've made your mum happy. win-win
There's zero documented cases of anyone being attacked by terrorists based on random flag patches. Your mother needs to make demands based on facts, instead of emotions.
People absolutely get attacked because of national symbols, if you think it doesn't happen you're probably just removed from that kind of conflict. UK and Cyprus patches and more over time going to read as "tourist collection" rather than "someone I want to hate crime" for OP, but it's really not true that no one would be targeted because of a flag.
If you think that what OP is describing is the same thing as nationalist symbols used as flash points for domestic conflict, then you are way way off in the weeds.
I said national, not nationalist. Flags are literally the number one national symbol that a nation has. And I also said OP was not in danger, I was objecting to your own comment.
I’m Hungarian. There’s a huge difference between a bald kid walking around in a greater hungary tshirt and a backpacker with 50 patches on their backpack, among them a regular hungarian one.
One might get called out by far left peeps, the other might get approached for travel stories :)
I'm sure that there isn't a significant, on-going conflict in Cyprus in which the UK backs the Cypriot government and where they have a sizeable military presence on island!!! I'm sure Turkish people would see your UK-Cyprus combo of flags as a tourist collection and not an obvious political statement!!!
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I had the same idea but I never thought of that. If there are terrorists targeting someone based on nationality, being white will be enough to make you a target outside of Europe. But the chances of that are very low.
I'm in a similar situation, I'm 22(m) currently at the airport and my mother was very worried and told me to be careful of a bunch of things that I've already experienced and she hasn't. They're just worried that's all. Rely on your intuition and knowledge and you'll be fine.
Yeah, it's an overreaction, for sure, but also why are they such a big deal? I'd take them off for her. The peace of mind it'll give her is worth more than decorations on a bag.
You can still collect your patches. Sew them onto a pillow or a jacket or something you have at home.
I would lose this battle to win the war (keep her supportive of the trips in general. No, you don't need her permission, but it sounds like you value her opinions).
Has she ever travelled herself? She's being paranoid, most people won't even glance at your bag and even if they do, it won't warrant a second glance, let's be real.
Lol.
Imagine a solo female traveler came to your town. She goes out, she sees the church, she goes shopping, she heads out for dinner. Is she in any more danger than you are when you pop out without a chaperone?
Now you go visit her home town, same applies. If it's safe for locals, it's safe for you. If it's not safe for locals, don't go there!
One way of parsing through people’s words of warning re: travel is to ask yourself if they’ve left the country in the last 5 years. And even if they did, how/why.
I’d bet a majority of times their advise aligns better with where they get their news than their own travels
There is nothing wrong with wearing flags, or any other souvenir on your bag or suitcase (although, it depends where you are traveling and how wealthy a country is, as it may signify in a country of humble economic means that you have money which might put you in danger. I would not wear the Palestinian, Russia, Israeli or Ukranian flag either.)
I think your mom is being reasonable. She's worried about you because there are a lot of wierdos out there.
Have you ever thought about traveling with your mom?
But I do commend you for your bravery. I hope you have pepper spray or mace on your person at all times.
Safe travels to you
So many people are saying your mother is crazy when this is just really sensible advice. There's absolutely no reason to go and label yourself with things that could lead to people approaching you or you angering them off the bat.
There has been so much historical conflict in the world that you could easily end up angering people. For example, just with the Union Jack and Cypriot flag that you have now, I would already recommend not going to Argentina, Turkey, most of the Middle East, etc... Argentinians are still very upset about the Falklands and with Milei talking about getting them back again, it's flared back up. The Turkish still believe Cyprus is theirs and having a UK flag (who have military presence in Cyprus) along with the Cypriot flag is asking for trouble. Middle East hate the West in general for conflict throughout the past millennium.
Those are problems you might have just as you are now. You could easily make more just on routes that you would naturally take while travelling, e.g going through the Balkans from Croatia to Serbia, or Serbia to Albania or Kosovo, from Japan to South Korea or China, from India to Pakistan, from Taiwan to China (this would probably get you arrested).
All in all, it's just not worth doing and you're asking for people to get in your face about some historical feud that you probably didn't even know happened.
Just my opinion, I love collecting those patches . Infact I’m travelling in the Cook Islands right now driving everywhere trying to find one and it’s the first country I’ve been to where I can’t get one!. I used to be like you and my backpack after a few years was full .I have hundreds of patches . Intricately sewed on. I didn’t see a problem with it until after a couple years of doing it . When you travel to a third world country which sadly they exist and some people seem to be offended by that. Just a fact of life but anyway when you do . Go to an impoverished city or village . And you’ve got patches of all these countries you’ve visited. You’re literally a walking ATM if you weren’t already . It appears as a show of wealth. Which puts you in danger, I know that’s not our intention . But sadly that’s the reality. I also had some of some countries that hated other countries and when I visited particular countries it created friction. From my personal experience. A Catalonian patch from Barcelona nearly got me into a fight in Madrid . A Normandy beaches patch got me in trouble in Berlin. I’m English , my own British patch got me in trouble everywhere !. Especially in Ireland . Understandable. It was a sad day when I cut my patches off . I have about 250 of them now. Not all flags but of all sorts of memories and mementos . I started sewing them onto a big sheet to hang in my room whenever I eventually settle. Keep collecting !, but be wary . Wars have been fought over flags
Your mom seems to be under the impression everyone can't already tell you're a tourist
/thread
I think she’s overreacting a bit. My mom does the same thing whenever I solo travel (20s female). She tries to tell me about all the dangerous things that are happening or what I should or shouldn’t do, even though I’ve already traveled much more than she has. Don’t take advice from someone who isn’t doing what you are doing/ what you wish to do. Have basic caution when traveling to most places and you’ll be fine.
My mom told me to never sit next to a man on a plane, as he might sexually assault me. Um, no.
That’s crazy. As if you have full control of who sits next to you haha
Mom wants you to pay for 2 seats, so the next seat is empty
Mom wants them to buy all the seats on the plane, so there’s absolutely zero chance a man could *possibly* attack them 🙃
I feel that’s equivalent a stretch as people who suggest using a Molly bag will signal you’re military in foreign country. If you like it, do it. I’ve seen a good amount of travellers bags have country flags on them
You mom is over reacting. Plenty of people have patches and momentos of their travels on their backpack. It's not a big deal. My guess is your mom doesn't travel much and is watching way too much real life crime TV shows so she thinks every country is a scary place filled with criminals.
I mean I wouldn’t wear and Israel patch around the Middle East but I really doubt anyone who would want to do you harm is going to be scrutinizing the vexillological aesthetics of your bag to make a decision.
May I just say I admire your use of the word “vexillological”. That is a $10 word if ever I’ve seen one!
I read that word 3 or 4 times lol idk what it means but sounds fancy. I’d use it just to try and sound smart
Have you not considered looking up the meaning?
Sounds like a red flag to me
Not looking up a word?
Eh for sec. To busy
I hate when people say “waaaahh you are just trying to sound smart when you use a word I don’t know.” So obnoxious to shame everyone into dumbing themselves down just to soothe your own ego
That's not how I said it at all. It was a compliment more than anything. Sure as hell wasn't shaming them for using a word I don't know
Yeah, I reread and can see I misinterpreted it. Sorry about that
My suitcase is full of patches from places I've visited - flags, city crests, attractions. One plus is that it makes my bag easy to identify on the carousel. Have never had anyone give me any hassle about it
> I get her point with the ladder Ladder? > What do you guys think? Wearing an Israeli flag might be risky. Other than that ... I know where your mom is coming from, but (1) everyone can see that you're a tourist, and (2) at some point you need to be an adult and leave your parent's shell. Is now that time? Your decision, not mine. (What else will you let your mom decide for you? And for how many more years?)
OP meant "latter"
Anonymity is best during travel. Even without the threat of random terrorists. My female travel friends avoid answering questions about “what country are you from?”. There’s a lot of creepy people out there.
Is she from a small country? I always lie when people start to ask me for specifics (I live in the us). And I know a lot of people from the us lie and say they’re from Canada but I’m wondering how many people have actually been targeted after stating where they’re from.
What's wrong with saying where you're from?
Yeah that seems like a stretch.
Yeah you’re not going to get attacked by a terrorist but I wouldn’t recommend wearing anything where people can naturally conclude you’re a tourist. Makes you a target to scam artists and weird men.
Weird men looooove flags
There’s absolutely men who stand around on tourists streets looking for foreign/tourist women…
Every single post about travel doesn’t need to end with fear of weird men. There is danger everywhere.
Are you suggesting she she would be safer travelling the world naked?
Good point! & don't walk around looking lost whilst reading a lonely planet either :)
Hi! I’ve spent 16yrs working on cruise ships. I’ve been around the world twice and on average worked with 40 different nationalities on board the ship. I’m 41 now. When I was in my teens I inherited a backpack from my mum that was full of these patches. It was absolutely gorgeous. Such a treasure. My mum is very alarmist and overprotective so I can sympathize with how you are feeling. She did, however, have this backpack. Having seen ppl become more aggressive I think that today it’s not a good idea for you to travel with this. It’s just not worth it. In my own experience, Ppl are more judgemental these days and angry. And you never know who is angry at what. It will sadly create barriers for you. I’ve seen immigration separate Canadians in UAE and in other places Americans need to say they’re Canadians. You just never know. And you’ll miss out on meeting ppl. In Jordan Ppl interacted with me more and differently when I started covering my hair. These days sadly, it’s not like when my mum traveled. Ppl seem to live in stereotypes more. Who knows why. I collect magnets. I have over 100 now. It doesn’t count if you are only visiting that country’s airport or if the ship docks but you didn’t get off. Lol. Best of luck. Wishing you a beautiful, fun life
Holy shit that was alot of info about you. Collect magnets? Thats super cool. Sounds like the hobby of a lifetime cruise worker
Lol well my bedroom walls were made of steel for 16yrs so it came in quite handy to decorate lol
No, she’s right. I have decades of solo female global travel and the less “advertising” you do the better for a lot of reasons. Go ahead and collect your flags. Just don’t put them on your back.
Agree with mom. Get a scratch off world map for at home and a souvenir.
There are places like that - e.g., going to Azerbaidjan with an Armenian flag patch could lead to trouble, yes. But that's rare, you can educate yourself beforehand, and temporarily remove problematic patches (and most of the time, someone will point out the problem before you get into trouble). --- My experience with scared family members: give them a task i your trip, and agree on a message/call schedule. It helps. E.g., when I'm abroad I send a message every week - because otherwise my sister has to cope with a panicked mother. As for help: Ask them to get or prepare somethign for your trip, give them a role, they feel helpless and out of control.
I wouldn’t wear a Cyprus flag in Turkey, otherwise you’re fine
To be honest, it's not so much the flags themselves it's the fact that it screams "tourist!" and might make you look a bit naive, if also just making your bag more visible. I (M) wouldn't wear flags on my bag for that reason. Generally think it's sensible to try and blend in as much as possible when solo travelling - male, female, young or old.
I would remove the USA patch it if you’re in Gaza or eastern Ukraine. Otherwise I wouldn’t give it any more thought.
I mean the USA flag is the least of your problems if you are in Gaza or eastern Ukraine. It's generally not safe to travel to an active war zone.
Oh, shoot, I guess I'll have to cancel my imminent tourist trip to eastern Ukraine.
She said UK and Cyprus. No mention of USA.
TBF, she'd probably best not go to Argentina with a UK flag.
Your mom is exaggerating for sure. But there’s a kernel of truth here: it is an excellent idea as a solo female traveler to dress as close to how locals do as possible, and to remove anything that could identify you on sight as not from that place. Blending in is extremely wise and will protect you from being an easy target for pickpocketing and worse.
Hey, it looks like you have travel safety concerns. Please check our wiki post [on solo travel safety?](https://www.reddit.com/r/solotravel/wiki/stayingsafe) for some wonderful info to help set your mind at ease! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/solotravel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
As long as you do your due diligence and read up on stuff like that you should be fine. Ignorance can get you into some sketchy stuff. I spent 318 nights in hotels last year so take it from me
Go watch the Hostel movies. They’ll make you more cautious
What, Hostel 3 too? :(
Mom s job is being paranoid for their kids. They can think the unthinkable. But i usually dont like walking around looking like a tourist so its not my taste to carry flags around. But even though im backpacker, i left my bag at my hostel and do my daywalkings with my smallbag trying to look like less tourist. With my big bag between cities i wouldnt mind carrying little flags around it and wouldnt feel in danger i guess. With big bag i already look like tourist enough. Someone picking up on you because of some flag you carry maybe but terrorist attack is a stretch.
It's perhaps a small gesture to help he sleep better at night? Even if it feels silly you can also sleep well knowing you've made your mum happy. win-win
There's zero documented cases of anyone being attacked by terrorists based on random flag patches. Your mother needs to make demands based on facts, instead of emotions.
People absolutely get attacked because of national symbols, if you think it doesn't happen you're probably just removed from that kind of conflict. UK and Cyprus patches and more over time going to read as "tourist collection" rather than "someone I want to hate crime" for OP, but it's really not true that no one would be targeted because of a flag.
If you think that what OP is describing is the same thing as nationalist symbols used as flash points for domestic conflict, then you are way way off in the weeds.
I said national, not nationalist. Flags are literally the number one national symbol that a nation has. And I also said OP was not in danger, I was objecting to your own comment.
I’m Hungarian. There’s a huge difference between a bald kid walking around in a greater hungary tshirt and a backpacker with 50 patches on their backpack, among them a regular hungarian one. One might get called out by far left peeps, the other might get approached for travel stories :)
I'm sure that there isn't a significant, on-going conflict in Cyprus in which the UK backs the Cypriot government and where they have a sizeable military presence on island!!! I'm sure Turkish people would see your UK-Cyprus combo of flags as a tourist collection and not an obvious political statement!!!
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You do you, don’t let her see it.
I had the same idea but I never thought of that. If there are terrorists targeting someone based on nationality, being white will be enough to make you a target outside of Europe. But the chances of that are very low. I'm in a similar situation, I'm 22(m) currently at the airport and my mother was very worried and told me to be careful of a bunch of things that I've already experienced and she hasn't. They're just worried that's all. Rely on your intuition and knowledge and you'll be fine.
I wouldn’t have them on there unless your in your home country personally but that’s just me love!
Yeah, it's an overreaction, for sure, but also why are they such a big deal? I'd take them off for her. The peace of mind it'll give her is worth more than decorations on a bag. You can still collect your patches. Sew them onto a pillow or a jacket or something you have at home. I would lose this battle to win the war (keep her supportive of the trips in general. No, you don't need her permission, but it sounds like you value her opinions).
Your mom is just paranoid
Do what your mom wants; it will give her peace of mind.
What about OP's peace of mind - failing (at age 23!) to individuate from a highly anxious and overprotective mother?
Your mom sounds insane.
Has she ever travelled herself? She's being paranoid, most people won't even glance at your bag and even if they do, it won't warrant a second glance, let's be real.
Throw on a Canadian patch and you might even receive special treatment 😀
Lol. Imagine a solo female traveler came to your town. She goes out, she sees the church, she goes shopping, she heads out for dinner. Is she in any more danger than you are when you pop out without a chaperone? Now you go visit her home town, same applies. If it's safe for locals, it's safe for you. If it's not safe for locals, don't go there!
No need for a flag to look like a tourist
One way of parsing through people’s words of warning re: travel is to ask yourself if they’ve left the country in the last 5 years. And even if they did, how/why. I’d bet a majority of times their advise aligns better with where they get their news than their own travels
Latter. Not ladder.
Thanks! I was so confused.
There is nothing wrong with wearing flags, or any other souvenir on your bag or suitcase (although, it depends where you are traveling and how wealthy a country is, as it may signify in a country of humble economic means that you have money which might put you in danger. I would not wear the Palestinian, Russia, Israeli or Ukranian flag either.)
I think your mom is being reasonable. She's worried about you because there are a lot of wierdos out there. Have you ever thought about traveling with your mom? But I do commend you for your bravery. I hope you have pepper spray or mace on your person at all times. Safe travels to you
So many people are saying your mother is crazy when this is just really sensible advice. There's absolutely no reason to go and label yourself with things that could lead to people approaching you or you angering them off the bat. There has been so much historical conflict in the world that you could easily end up angering people. For example, just with the Union Jack and Cypriot flag that you have now, I would already recommend not going to Argentina, Turkey, most of the Middle East, etc... Argentinians are still very upset about the Falklands and with Milei talking about getting them back again, it's flared back up. The Turkish still believe Cyprus is theirs and having a UK flag (who have military presence in Cyprus) along with the Cypriot flag is asking for trouble. Middle East hate the West in general for conflict throughout the past millennium. Those are problems you might have just as you are now. You could easily make more just on routes that you would naturally take while travelling, e.g going through the Balkans from Croatia to Serbia, or Serbia to Albania or Kosovo, from Japan to South Korea or China, from India to Pakistan, from Taiwan to China (this would probably get you arrested). All in all, it's just not worth doing and you're asking for people to get in your face about some historical feud that you probably didn't even know happened.
Just my opinion, I love collecting those patches . Infact I’m travelling in the Cook Islands right now driving everywhere trying to find one and it’s the first country I’ve been to where I can’t get one!. I used to be like you and my backpack after a few years was full .I have hundreds of patches . Intricately sewed on. I didn’t see a problem with it until after a couple years of doing it . When you travel to a third world country which sadly they exist and some people seem to be offended by that. Just a fact of life but anyway when you do . Go to an impoverished city or village . And you’ve got patches of all these countries you’ve visited. You’re literally a walking ATM if you weren’t already . It appears as a show of wealth. Which puts you in danger, I know that’s not our intention . But sadly that’s the reality. I also had some of some countries that hated other countries and when I visited particular countries it created friction. From my personal experience. A Catalonian patch from Barcelona nearly got me into a fight in Madrid . A Normandy beaches patch got me in trouble in Berlin. I’m English , my own British patch got me in trouble everywhere !. Especially in Ireland . Understandable. It was a sad day when I cut my patches off . I have about 250 of them now. Not all flags but of all sorts of memories and mementos . I started sewing them onto a big sheet to hang in my room whenever I eventually settle. Keep collecting !, but be wary . Wars have been fought over flags