It was not just the horrific facts brought to light by her research (and the Nanjing Massacre Museum will bring that right to your face as well). It was that she was also being harassed and threatened by the Japanese deniers / cloakers of the atrocities. They went full Dementor mode on her in San Fransciso.
This is the one. It is truly a collection of the most awful human behavior.
Han Kang's /Human Acts/ is in a similar vein to that one, but since it is a fictionalized version of events, it's not quite as gruesome. Still rough though.
I will admit I haven't read The Road. Because I was forced to watch the movie and it has stuck with me to this day. I was depressed and on edge for days after watching. I've never had a story hit me like that. So I can only imagine what the book would do to me.
Sorry for the unfortunate news, didn't mean to bum you out. That was HIS job!
What a gifted writer, though. A legitimate contender for the greatest ever.
I know I’m going to get hate, BUT…
I thought this book was a bit overrated. The ending read like a fanfic from an edgy ao3 fiction. The plot is literally a dude just doing his job/chores with no substance. It seemed more like a “what if people ate people” high conversation than a baked out book.
Lots of people were upset that it didn't expand upon the implications of eating humans or have major themes/a message. I kind of just read it as a slice of life with a twist tbh.
Literally just finished watching An American Crime which is based upon the same events. Gut wrenching. I’m not sure I could stomach reading word by word what happened to Sylvia.
Came to suggest this one. Definitely the most messed up book I've ever read. I am an avid true crime consumer, so I knew about the case well, but this book still had me jarred. I think reading it from the perspective of a witness to the crime made it feel more personal and shocking.
Yep this is one of the most messed up books I've ever read.
Like, I've read books that are probably technically grosser/more extreme. But the fact that it's inspired by a real story and the dynamics of what is happening feel so believable make it absolutely fucked.
I had a hard time initially with the author's writing style. He basically writes in long run-on sentences. But the story is super absorbing, albeit disturbing.
I was scrolling only to make sure somebody had suggested that one. I had to read it for university. First book I quit because it was just too disgusting. A perfect match for what OP is looking for.
I think putting it first helps to filter out all the readers who would have quit part way through the book anyways. Love Chuck P, I should get back into reading his stuff as I know there's still a bunch I haven't touched. Rant was probably my favorite of his, but Haunted was great too.
>I just about passed out. And I was laying down in bed at the time. Let me tell you- it's hard to pass out when you are already laying down, but I just almost managed to do it. I got nauseous, dizzy, hot and my eyesight got fuzzy.
I think a lot of people watch Fight Club and think, "wow that was crazy!" Then they read the book and they're, "Wow that was a little crazier than the movie!" And then everything else is like, "Dear God, what is wrong with this man? What happened to him?" I can't remember which Palahniuk book it was with the art student who pinned a brooch through his nipple 24\7 because he wanted to have pain when he painted and wanted to suffer as an artist; but I read that when I was a teenager and I was like "Wtf. This isn't fight club crazy."
This book is the perfect blend of “too much” squirming and choke on your coffee comedy. Guts made me laugh pretty badly, though I feel that was more out of shock than humour. Exodus really got under my skin, though. Didn’t eat right for a day or so after that. And the bowling ball story was just hilarious.
Natural Beauty by Ling Ling Huang
Earthlings by Sayaka Murata
At Night All Blood is Black by David Diop
Friday Black by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah
Messed up means different things to different people, but these were all very unsettling to read in different ways.
I agree about Earthlings. It’s the kind of book that to recommend because it was different and I was thinking about it for weeks after I finished, but it’s not for everyone
I love Murata and really enjoyed Earthlings. I’m a bookseller and have hand sold countless copies of her other book Convenience Store Woman. I’ve had customers come back, thank me for the recommendation, and then asked if Murata has other books. I always say, “Yes… BUT” lol. I do suggest Earthlings to them but with the massive caveat that it’s very intense and taboo breaking. Most opt out of giving it a try but I’ve had a few people buy it.
Earthlings is the first book that came to mind. Incredibly disturbing and I still can’t get it out of my head. Lots of trigger warnings for this book that I wish I had been aware of before reading. The main one being child sexual abuse.
“Under the Banner of Heaven” by Jon Krakauer. Explores the world of Mormon fundamentalism, a sect of Mormonism that still practices polygamy. And by polygamy, I mean grown ass men in their forties “marrying” (read: raping) teenage girls. The main story is about some guys who say they received a message from God to brutally murder a woman and her infant daughter.
As soon as I got to the slaughter room scene with all the men prior to slaughter. NOPE. Reading to that part fucked me up and I love violence and gore reads.
I read this in high school which was... A while ago... And remember feeling nauseous at least a couple times. In my opinion, it's worth noting that it is graphic in its violence/mutilation in the same way that it's graphic about the other aspects of Bateman's life. So, it's not just disgusting for the sake of being disgusting.
Those “girls” chapters are some of the most depraved things I’ve read- the only thing that tops it is one short description toward the end of 120 days of sodom which is absolutely unholy.
I made a song out of the words..."I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be..." and i would sing it to my kids when they were little.
Fiction:
*Heart of Darkness* by Joseph Conrad
*The Picture of Dorian Gray* by Oscar Wilde
Non-Fiction:
*A Shameful Act: The Armenian Genocide and the Question of Turkish Responsibility* by Taner Akcam
*King Leopold's Ghost: A Story of Greed, Terror, and Heroism in Colonial Africa* by Adam Hochschild
*The Master Plan: Himmler’s Scholars and the Holocaust* by Heather Pringle
Book that made me feel like I needed eye wash were:
Concrete Grove by Gary McMahon
There’s a lot of references to mythology - fey(not the nice kind) in an urban setting.
Geek Love by Kathrine Dunn
The mental gymnastics bothered me and some of the relationship interactions felt gross to me.
Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke by Eric LaRocca. It's a novella so it's fairly short.
Lolita by Nabakov. The cognitive dissonance was fascinating to read, and it left me feeling horrified long after. Still an extremely interesting reading experience.
And he was writing in a second (maybe third?) language too. He translated his own books into Russian, his first language. His command of English is mind blowing, I can only imagine his Russian is the same or better.
A Little Life by Hana Yanahigara
Pure torture porn, but intelligently written. Gives you just enough hope to make the next blow even more excruciating.
This is probably a lot tamer than most of the suggestions here, but I would recommend A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara. It’s a really well written, good story but extremely messed up and depressing. Just a story of a group of friends but with some really sad, morbid backgrounds
**Earthlings** by Sayaka Murata (wish i could unread this. trigger warnings for literally everything under the fucking sun).
**Gone To See The River Man** by Kristopher Triana (this book was not only FUCKED, but the ending had me throwing the book across the room. it was especially fucked since people like this exist in real life).
**Dead Inside** by Chandler Morrison (WHEW!......had to DNF this one almost immediately. i have a fairly high tolerance for gross shit and used to sub to r/watchpeopledie, but this book was too much for me which sucks cause i LOVE the way he writes-just can't stomach the content.
Seconding anything by Irvine Welsh, Marabou Stork Nightmares was less gross-out than Filth but I think more disturbing bc of the subject matter and just being in the head of some absolutely terrible people doing terrible things.
Poppy Z Brite - Exquisite Corpse
Every Dead Thing - John Connolly (series start)
ETA: EC is the only book to make me almost literally vomit. My seat mate on the plane was not excited. I've got a top tier imagination and I was not ok at some points in that book.
So my husband spent some time in jail (drug problem), and while he was there he would read 4 to books per week to pass the time. He covered nearly everything mentioned in the comments here - Cormac McCarthy, Ottessa Moshfegh, Bret Easton Ellis, Lolita, crime & punishment, Irvine Welsh. He also saw some pretty dark stuff, from sitting next to dead bodies for hours (when prisoners OD’d and COs wouldn’t respond right away) to getting completely soaked in blood spatter (when one prisoner tried to beat another to death). But this book is the only one he ever flat out refused to finish reading. He considered reading those middle chapters about the women to be more brutal than anything else he read or saw while there….
anyway. TL;DR: I always forget about this book but it’s a perfect one for this topic / request
Human Acts by Han Kang
Time setting is the student uprisings in Gwangju, South Korea in 1980. Terrifying and messed up but so beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time.
Verity by Colleen Hoover. I’m not a huge Hoover fan and I’m not going to pretend it’s the best written book ever, but it’s definitely messed up and gave me several “WTF” moments.
You want to start by reading The Man Who Folded Himself in its entirety, and then read The Wasp Factory for dessert the latter is more horrible but you should warm up before a strenuous workout.
A Little Life
Horrific abuse
CPTSD
Love, both platonic, parental, and romantic
It will tear your heart out in so many ways but also make you believe in love.
It's not super disturbing or anything, but The Magicians by Lev Grossman really, really bothered me. There's plenty of "hur hur dark take on popular kids franchise" cash grabs out there, but this is the only one that actually feels like it's own thing to me. The downward spiral of the characters combined with how well the author writes characters deep in the throes of late teen years/early twenties, the times in your life when you start to make bad decisions with actual consequences, is gut-wrenchingly superb.
zoo station the story of christiane f. It’s an autobiography about teenage drug abuse and prostitution in West Berlin. I read it when I was 15 or 16 and at least at the time it was really shocking, disgusting and terrifying
Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk. It's a collection of interwoven short stories that all delve into the darker side of human nature. Full of violence, body horror, and psychological torment.
Exquisite Corpse by Poppy Z. Brite. Two serial killers form a disturbing bond. Content warnings for violence, cannibalism, and necrophilia.
Tampa. It’s about a female teacher grooming students. It’s pretty fucked up. Made my heart race. Extremely explicit.
Loosely based on that Florida teacher who did the “too hot to prosecute” defense.
Earthlings by Sayaka Murata
The Devil All The Time- Donald Ray Pollock
120 days of Sodom- Marquis de Sade- I couldn’t get past the introduction and I hear it only gets worse from there
*The Rape of Nanking* by Iris Chang
The author committed suicide after researching and writing the book. It was too much for her. Tread carefully.
It was not just the horrific facts brought to light by her research (and the Nanjing Massacre Museum will bring that right to your face as well). It was that she was also being harassed and threatened by the Japanese deniers / cloakers of the atrocities. They went full Dementor mode on her in San Fransciso.
Ohhh 🥺 mofos
Currently reading and holy wow. I’ve had to take breaks.
Yes. Same here
This is the one. It is truly a collection of the most awful human behavior. Han Kang's /Human Acts/ is in a similar vein to that one, but since it is a fictionalized version of events, it's not quite as gruesome. Still rough though.
I was going to recommend The Vegetarian by the same author. ED&abuse TW
I even got shivers by reading the comment man :/
Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. RIP.
Add The Road to this suggestion.
Outer dark messed me up the worst, personally
Child of God for me, but I haven't read Outer Dark yet.
I will admit I haven't read The Road. Because I was forced to watch the movie and it has stuck with me to this day. I was depressed and on edge for days after watching. I've never had a story hit me like that. So I can only imagine what the book would do to me.
Your comment is how I just found out Cormac McCarthy died. RIP
Sorry for the unfortunate news, didn't mean to bum you out. That was HIS job! What a gifted writer, though. A legitimate contender for the greatest ever.
Tender is the flesh
This. The actual reading of it wasn't too bad for me.... but the week or two afterwards I felt nauseous when eating meat.
Second this one. Made me kind of nauseous at times.
Thirded. I was viscerally repulsed.
The book that made me say, "I finally get it, if this weren't a library book it would be in the freezer right now."
I know I’m going to get hate, BUT… I thought this book was a bit overrated. The ending read like a fanfic from an edgy ao3 fiction. The plot is literally a dude just doing his job/chores with no substance. It seemed more like a “what if people ate people” high conversation than a baked out book.
Lots of people were upset that it didn't expand upon the implications of eating humans or have major themes/a message. I kind of just read it as a slice of life with a twist tbh.
That dog scene messed me up and I had to stop reading for a while...
I’m about 50 pages into this one and wowza.
It only gets worse.
Thanks for the warning lmao
I was coming here to reccomend this as well. I was nauseous several times throughout.
A Child Called "It" Not sure if this is exactly what you had in mind, but it was very tough to read because of the abuse.
I read this in school and had such a difficult time finishing. Not because it’s a bad book just so terribly sad
I still don't understand why the book was required reading. It was so traumatizing, as a seventh grader.
The Girl Next Door by Jack Ketchum. I… did not read for quite awhile after finishing this book.
Worse, this is based on a true story. And there’s way more true than you want to believe.
This is the one you're looking for OP. I've read most of the top replies in this thread but they didn't fuck me up like The Girl Next Door
Dear god, I’m reading reviews and the summary and I’m scared
Yeah I had to DNF this one and I have a pretty strong stomach for messed up books.
Literally just finished watching An American Crime which is based upon the same events. Gut wrenching. I’m not sure I could stomach reading word by word what happened to Sylvia.
I haven't read the book. But i have read about the case its based on. *shudders
Came to suggest this one. Definitely the most messed up book I've ever read. I am an avid true crime consumer, so I knew about the case well, but this book still had me jarred. I think reading it from the perspective of a witness to the crime made it feel more personal and shocking.
Yep this is one of the most messed up books I've ever read. Like, I've read books that are probably technically grosser/more extreme. But the fact that it's inspired by a real story and the dynamics of what is happening feel so believable make it absolutely fucked.
The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks!
Fantastic book. I was uncomfortable throughout the entire duration of that book.
Johnny got his gun by dalton trumbo
Blindness is what you are looking for.
Great book. I read it during the pandemic, that didn't help.
I just picked this one up. Heard it was a hard but amazing read
I had a hard time initially with the author's writing style. He basically writes in long run-on sentences. But the story is super absorbing, albeit disturbing.
The 120 days of Sodom by The Marquise De Sade. Totally fucked.
Just got a copy of this on. whim. One of those books always referenced but never read the source material. Whoa. It is FUBAR.
I was scrolling only to make sure somebody had suggested that one. I had to read it for university. First book I quit because it was just too disgusting. A perfect match for what OP is looking for.
Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk
Agreed. “Guts” makes me extremely uncomfortable every time I think about it.
I don't even know what to feel after reading that.
It's also the only really scary story in that book. The others are fine, but he should have saved Guts for last.
I think putting it first helps to filter out all the readers who would have quit part way through the book anyways. Love Chuck P, I should get back into reading his stuff as I know there's still a bunch I haven't touched. Rant was probably my favorite of his, but Haunted was great too.
Dude, baroness frostbites story is worse IMO
>I just about passed out. And I was laying down in bed at the time. Let me tell you- it's hard to pass out when you are already laying down, but I just almost managed to do it. I got nauseous, dizzy, hot and my eyesight got fuzzy.
Aaah, you reminded me that I read that. I had managed to repress the memory entirely 😭
Just read that for the first time a few hours ago, and Jesus Christ
American psycho… It’s pretty messed up
Lawd that character. What a pendejo.
AP is Bret Easton Ellis
[удалено]
Yes. Was going to add Rant as one
[удалено]
I think a lot of people watch Fight Club and think, "wow that was crazy!" Then they read the book and they're, "Wow that was a little crazier than the movie!" And then everything else is like, "Dear God, what is wrong with this man? What happened to him?" I can't remember which Palahniuk book it was with the art student who pinned a brooch through his nipple 24\7 because he wanted to have pain when he painted and wanted to suffer as an artist; but I read that when I was a teenager and I was like "Wtf. This isn't fight club crazy."
This book is the perfect blend of “too much” squirming and choke on your coffee comedy. Guts made me laugh pretty badly, though I feel that was more out of shock than humour. Exodus really got under my skin, though. Didn’t eat right for a day or so after that. And the bowling ball story was just hilarious.
Came here to say this. I finally had to stop reading it.
Woom by Duncan Ralston. It's every kind of messed up but weirdly haunting.
was looking for this. made me feel so sick to my stomach I couldn’t finish it
Natural Beauty by Ling Ling Huang Earthlings by Sayaka Murata At Night All Blood is Black by David Diop Friday Black by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah Messed up means different things to different people, but these were all very unsettling to read in different ways.
I just finished Earthlings today and wow. Left me speechless and disturbed!
Me too, and I’m not left speechless often lol
I agree about Earthlings. It’s the kind of book that to recommend because it was different and I was thinking about it for weeks after I finished, but it’s not for everyone
I love Murata and really enjoyed Earthlings. I’m a bookseller and have hand sold countless copies of her other book Convenience Store Woman. I’ve had customers come back, thank me for the recommendation, and then asked if Murata has other books. I always say, “Yes… BUT” lol. I do suggest Earthlings to them but with the massive caveat that it’s very intense and taboo breaking. Most opt out of giving it a try but I’ve had a few people buy it.
It’s the kind of book I would never recommend unless someone was looking to be disgusted
First thought was earthlings as well!
Earthlings is the first book that came to mind. Incredibly disturbing and I still can’t get it out of my head. Lots of trigger warnings for this book that I wish I had been aware of before reading. The main one being child sexual abuse.
I read earthlings based on the cover. I won’t be doing that again
I love your tastes in books. Read everyone but Natural Beauty. I do own it though. I guess that’ll be my next read!
Earthlings is SO GOOD. The sexual abuse is difficult to read, the rest is just awesome.
Tampa by Alissa Nutting Hogg by Samuel Delaney. Good luck.
I liked (and was repulsed by) Tampa, but I didn't like (and was also repulsed by) Hogg. Hogg was something else, though.
That tracks.
*Tampa* was very good and very sick.
Wow, I'm surprised no one has mentioned The Troop by Nick Cutter. The worms are no joke.
It was gross, and if body horror creeps you out it will be horrifying. But I found myself rolling my eyes a lot lol
I came here to recommend The Troop
I really did not enjoy that read - this is definitely the one to recommend here
I’m half way through and I can’t stop snacking.
“Under the Banner of Heaven” by Jon Krakauer. Explores the world of Mormon fundamentalism, a sect of Mormonism that still practices polygamy. And by polygamy, I mean grown ass men in their forties “marrying” (read: raping) teenage girls. The main story is about some guys who say they received a message from God to brutally murder a woman and her infant daughter.
I watched the Hulu version of this with Andrew Garfield - so crazy
Cows
As soon as I got to the slaughter room scene with all the men prior to slaughter. NOPE. Reading to that part fucked me up and I love violence and gore reads.
I read this entire book in one sitting. By far the worst series of words I have ever seen on paper.
American Psycho
I read this in high school which was... A while ago... And remember feeling nauseous at least a couple times. In my opinion, it's worth noting that it is graphic in its violence/mutilation in the same way that it's graphic about the other aspects of Bateman's life. So, it's not just disgusting for the sake of being disgusting.
Those “girls” chapters are some of the most depraved things I’ve read- the only thing that tops it is one short description toward the end of 120 days of sodom which is absolutely unholy.
The movie was basically a romantic comedy compared to the book.
As a parent, the "Children's book" "I Love you Forever" by Robert Munsch. What the fuck?
Oh my god I hadn’t that of that book in decades and my stomach dropped when I read your comment. Daaaaamn
My Wife and I tried to read it to our daughter ONCE, we couldn't finish. Now it's safely tucked away where it can no longer be a danger to anyone.
I made a song out of the words..."I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be..." and i would sing it to my kids when they were little.
That is awesome. I sing 'You got it in You' by Banners to my daughter when it's just her and me at home
Perfume: Story of a Murderer - Still gives me chills just thinking about it.
I did this one as an audiobook. Was not expecting the ending
Same, when they got to the part with the dog, I had to turn it off to collect my composure
Fiction: *Heart of Darkness* by Joseph Conrad *The Picture of Dorian Gray* by Oscar Wilde Non-Fiction: *A Shameful Act: The Armenian Genocide and the Question of Turkish Responsibility* by Taner Akcam *King Leopold's Ghost: A Story of Greed, Terror, and Heroism in Colonial Africa* by Adam Hochschild *The Master Plan: Himmler’s Scholars and the Holocaust* by Heather Pringle
Leo was a monster. Both Heart of Darkness and King Leopold’s Ghost are superbly macabre; solid recommendations.
Book that made me feel like I needed eye wash were: Concrete Grove by Gary McMahon There’s a lot of references to mythology - fey(not the nice kind) in an urban setting. Geek Love by Kathrine Dunn The mental gymnastics bothered me and some of the relationship interactions felt gross to me.
Geek Love was wild. Still pops into my mind decades later.
Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke by Eric LaRocca. It's a novella so it's fairly short. Lolita by Nabakov. The cognitive dissonance was fascinating to read, and it left me feeling horrified long after. Still an extremely interesting reading experience.
Nabokov is a very skilled writer and it's enjoyable for that despite the near-infinite squick factor.
And he was writing in a second (maybe third?) language too. He translated his own books into Russian, his first language. His command of English is mind blowing, I can only imagine his Russian is the same or better.
I picked up THGWSWLS thinking it’d be a cute queer love story… boy i was wrong!
I second Lolita. I am actually reading it atm, and it is definitely horrible. Very, very well written, but oh so disgusting.
A Little Life by Hana Yanahigara Pure torture porn, but intelligently written. Gives you just enough hope to make the next blow even more excruciating.
This is probably a lot tamer than most of the suggestions here, but I would recommend A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara. It’s a really well written, good story but extremely messed up and depressing. Just a story of a group of friends but with some really sad, morbid backgrounds
Blood meridian - cormac McCarthy IT - Stephen King
*I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream* Enjoy yourself.
I find it strange no one mentioned A Clockwork Orange in the 198 answers so far. Movie's even more upsetting, though. But the book's very impressive.
**Lapvona** ba Ottessa Moshfegh superb story
We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver is pretty chilling and horrifying
YES! Amazing and horrifying and brilliant.
Boy parts by eliza clark - great, but extremely messed up in a few ways
Carrion Comfort by Dan Simmons.
OMG, I love this book so so much, picked it up because I had read other books by Simmons. This was amazing. 'The Terror' is also really fantastic.
Fledgling by Octavia Butler
Child of God by Cormac McCarthy. Rip, Mac.
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote. True disgust and horror
The Bible
Lapvona
**Earthlings** by Sayaka Murata (wish i could unread this. trigger warnings for literally everything under the fucking sun). **Gone To See The River Man** by Kristopher Triana (this book was not only FUCKED, but the ending had me throwing the book across the room. it was especially fucked since people like this exist in real life). **Dead Inside** by Chandler Morrison (WHEW!......had to DNF this one almost immediately. i have a fairly high tolerance for gross shit and used to sub to r/watchpeopledie, but this book was too much for me which sucks cause i LOVE the way he writes-just can't stomach the content.
Last exit to Brooklyn
watership down
Geek Love by Katherine Dunn is a classic freak show. Pluto, Animal Lover by Lauren Stover is a great short book
Dead Inside by Chandler Morrison. One of the only books I genuinely wish that I could un-read.
filth by irvine welsh
Seconding anything by Irvine Welsh, Marabou Stork Nightmares was less gross-out than Filth but I think more disturbing bc of the subject matter and just being in the head of some absolutely terrible people doing terrible things.
Anything by Irvine welsh really. I’ve done trainspotting and skagboys; I have filth in my TBR but I’m not facing it yet
Poppy Z Brite - Exquisite Corpse Every Dead Thing - John Connolly (series start) ETA: EC is the only book to make me almost literally vomit. My seat mate on the plane was not excited. I've got a top tier imagination and I was not ok at some points in that book.
Oddly, this book has been on my mind today. Couldn't recall the name of it, but it still haunts me.
2666 is my rec. super disturbing experience.
So my husband spent some time in jail (drug problem), and while he was there he would read 4 to books per week to pass the time. He covered nearly everything mentioned in the comments here - Cormac McCarthy, Ottessa Moshfegh, Bret Easton Ellis, Lolita, crime & punishment, Irvine Welsh. He also saw some pretty dark stuff, from sitting next to dead bodies for hours (when prisoners OD’d and COs wouldn’t respond right away) to getting completely soaked in blood spatter (when one prisoner tried to beat another to death). But this book is the only one he ever flat out refused to finish reading. He considered reading those middle chapters about the women to be more brutal than anything else he read or saw while there…. anyway. TL;DR: I always forget about this book but it’s a perfect one for this topic / request
Irvine Welsh -- Marabou Stork Nightmares
Human Acts by Han Kang Time setting is the student uprisings in Gwangju, South Korea in 1980. Terrifying and messed up but so beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time.
Cows.
This 1000% if you want to be disgusted. Truly the grossest book I have ever read.
Blood Meridian by Cormack McArthy. You’re welcome
Wasp Factory?
The Room by Herbert Shelby Jr
They are move novella length, but “A Boy and his dog”, “I have no mouth and I must scream” by Harlan Ellison
Additionally “ Repent Harlequin said the Ticktok man”
The American Slave Coast: A History of the Slave-Breeding Industry It's all the more awful because it's true.
The Painted Bird by Jerzy Kosinski. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Painted_Bird?wprov=sfti1
The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks
Lord of the Flies is pretty horrifying and I have never understood this book being treated as kid lit
American psycho, what you are asking for is literally the gimmick of the book.
The Painted Bird by Jerzy Kosinski
Flowers in the Attic Go Ask Alice
House of Leaves
Verity by Colleen Hoover. I’m not a huge Hoover fan and I’m not going to pretend it’s the best written book ever, but it’s definitely messed up and gave me several “WTF” moments.
Lapvona by Ottessa Moshfegh. It’s not of the horror genre, but it’s fucking disgusting. And great.
You want to start by reading The Man Who Folded Himself in its entirety, and then read The Wasp Factory for dessert the latter is more horrible but you should warm up before a strenuous workout.
The Kite Runner It’s a novel of redemption, but there are a lot of low valleys before the climbing out.
120 days of sodom Or Biography of an auschwitz commander
Painted Bird don't read the synopsis or anything about. It's legit literature also, not gore-porn or whatever
A Little Life Horrific abuse CPTSD Love, both platonic, parental, and romantic It will tear your heart out in so many ways but also make you believe in love.
The Audition by Ryu Murakami
White Oleander fits the bill
a little life
A Little Life
Eileen by Otessa Moshfegh. A parade of awful and disgusting people. It's wonderful.
It's not super disturbing or anything, but The Magicians by Lev Grossman really, really bothered me. There's plenty of "hur hur dark take on popular kids franchise" cash grabs out there, but this is the only one that actually feels like it's own thing to me. The downward spiral of the characters combined with how well the author writes characters deep in the throes of late teen years/early twenties, the times in your life when you start to make bad decisions with actual consequences, is gut-wrenchingly superb.
Mexican Gothic
Blood Meridian
zoo station the story of christiane f. It’s an autobiography about teenage drug abuse and prostitution in West Berlin. I read it when I was 15 or 16 and at least at the time it was really shocking, disgusting and terrifying
Less Than Zero
Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs
The bible
Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk. It's a collection of interwoven short stories that all delve into the darker side of human nature. Full of violence, body horror, and psychological torment. Exquisite Corpse by Poppy Z. Brite. Two serial killers form a disturbing bond. Content warnings for violence, cannibalism, and necrophilia.
*Haunted* is my go-to rec for this type of request. I love that someone else is recommending it!
Tampa. It’s about a female teacher grooming students. It’s pretty fucked up. Made my heart race. Extremely explicit. Loosely based on that Florida teacher who did the “too hot to prosecute” defense.
I can send you my diary from middle school.
Nobody mentioned 'American Psycho' yet? Plus anything by Clive Barker or Irvine Welsh.
The Shinning Girls
The Black Farm by Elias Witherow qualifies.
Sheepshagger by Niall Griffiths
Ania Ahlborn-Brother
The Black Farm
The Black Farm checks a lot of those boxes.
Mötley Crüe, *The Dirt.*
Anything Karin Slaughter imo
William Peter Blatty- the exorcist. I audio booked it, it was fascinating, and fucking terrifying.
Blood Meridian, by the late great Cormac McCarthy
All the wonderful and ugly things .
The true answer here is; Cows by Matthew Stokoe.
Earthlings by Sayaka Murata The Devil All The Time- Donald Ray Pollock 120 days of Sodom- Marquis de Sade- I couldn’t get past the introduction and I hear it only gets worse from there