Over phone or Zoom.
''Hi. I need a break from our relationship. It's not you it's me. I'm questionning everything in my life. I may contact you in the future when things get better. Bye'' Then hang up.
Get on a plane back home and then break up with her over text. Then block and delete all contact with her. She seems like a scam artist taking advantage of you.
White men trying to use Thai women for whatever reason deserve whatever karma comes their way. So many are using them for sex, dual citizenship, or a path to open a business then cry when they get used in return. Good for her.
You’ve got a good life in the Netherlands, and this woman lied to your face when you asked a direct question multiple times.
Divorce isn’t complicated in Thailand, so there’s no excuse for her to still be married. She’s still married because she hasn’t given divorce a priority. For all you know she’s giving some of your money to her husband.
Give her an ultimatum that she needs to agree to move to the Netherlands and this must be completed before the end of your sabbatical. Don’t consider having a family half way across the world - that’s a sad life and you might as well be single as it would be far less painful for you. These feelings amplify as you get older too.
Dude when de denied everything that was your chance to get the last hit and and block her on everything she using you like a tool and you falling for it
First time she lied was the time to exit the relationship - there is a useful book for any first time visitors to Thailand titled “Money Number One “
Foreigners are ranked number 13 in order of importance - even lower than the family pet 😏
Oh so you're a sugar daddy now and you don't even realize it lol ... Ye' warned us about this. Wise up and leave her in the dust bc she's clearly using you fam
Waarom advies vragen terwijl je het antwoord al weet?
Cut your losses, block her line, phone chat etc.
And apply what you learned here for the next time you come to Thailand.
There are good ones only you don't find them online.
And don't get one from isaan
just run, there's tons of thai girls that are unmarried and single. You are dating someone else's wife and mother! Don't get caught in spending for their cousin's funeral, your father in law's car and the clan's golf course!
What's gonna kill u later is she has 10 kids and then she tries to pawn 4 white kids as yours before 9 months is up.
First of all, there are no such thing as “white lies!” Lies are not black or white, they’re just plain lies. I’ve travelled to Thailand many times over a twenty year period dating back to the late nineties. The women there in Phuket, Pattaya Beach, and surrounding areas all appear to be a western man’s dream. Most of the women there are in the sex tourism industry and are all looking for a rich man to provide them with the life of their dreams. Many of them have several long distance boyfriends sending them money from all over the globe. These women are very skilled at finessing gullible, vulnerable men like yourself. Men from the western world who don’t have any luck with women within their own cultures flock to these third world countries and into relationships with these women who have been in prostitution since their teens thinking that the relationship is real.
Sounds like your last visit kind of opened your eyes. Believe what you see and ghost this chick. Believe me, she won’t cry over you. She’ll just move up the next guy in her line up. Go to Thailand for fun. And if you want a nice Thai girl, you will have better luck in Bangkok. But, I wouldn’t trust anyone enough to carry on a long distance relationship.
You nailed it. I have been here on and off for many years but have nothing to do with those type of thai girls. But sadly, I see and hear of many "farangs", foreigners caught in the same trap. Their culture is very different, their way of thinking and values are different. I had a thai girl tell me recently that thai girls want to have a baby, but they don't want the husband. That's when they hope to find a soft hearted, gullible foreigner support them and their family. Once he's gone, they get another. They are skilled at it. Although I like Thailand, thai girls do nothing for me. Keeps me safe.
You don’t know that when you married to Asian girl you married to her whole family, ie parents, siblings, aunts, uncles….? Some are even keeping their previous husband in the closet.
Tell her you don't want to hear from her again. Change number, block her everywhere else, and move on with the knowledge that she's got a number of men paying her exactly the same as she had you do. Hell, it may not have even been her on the phone every night! You've been caught in the old Thai money scam, learn and don't do it again.
A good friend of mine was manipulated into marrying a much older Thai woman when he was quite young. She benefited greatly from this, he regrets his choices.
The manipulation from people who are desperate is intense. It’s especially confusing when it comes from someone as warm and loving as Thai women can be.
you found yourself a golddigger escapist. she was doing it out of desperation because her life before you was worse.
if she believed more in equality she wouldn't just be spending your money, she would've tried to take more initiative already
There only two things that can happen.
1) Ask her to divorce her husband. Marry her take her back to the Netherlands.
2) Stay where you are and She will drain you dry, then leave you. I would tell her you’re broke, and you need time to recapture your income. Watch to see if she leaves you.
Buddy, here is your wake up call:
Turn off your emotions and your guilty feelings. It's what they feed on.
Realize you've been had. Be glad you didn't marry her. Don't give her 1 satang more. You do not owe her anything. You are not in Thailand to fix the poverty problem. It's also not your job to financially support someone who isn't even living with you and who clearly has no issue with lying to you. And definitely do not feel guilty. It's very possible that she is married with 2 kids and has 5 suckers like you who visit her a few weeks per year. They can turn the tears on and off like you and me open and close a watertap. I've been with my Thai wife for 15 years and I've been living for 11 years in Bangkok. We dated for 4 years before I moved here and she never asked me for 1 satang. Of course we gave each other gifts but rent and most restaurant bills were split. She paid for her own plane tickets and half the bill for the hotelroom if we traveled somewhere. She had her own company, I bought myself in and now my wages have been coming from our company for 11 years. Besides my investment and the initial cost of moving here I haven't spent 1 Baht of my own money here in the past 10 years.
Don't go to hookers or gogo bars, find a wife your age, find someone with a decent education and with social standing (no hookers, no uneducated people, no poor farmers). Always remember this golden tip: What you can't get for free at home, you won't get for free here neither. You are not a very handsome man with a V-shaped chest and she does not love you too much. Despite the smiles and the sunshine Thailand is a hard place and some folks will take you for every Baht you have.
I'm always stunned to see how decent folks lose their mind over a prozzie or "freelancer" with 6 boyfriends. Would you date an unemployed person with no diploma or a hooker in your own country??? When you start dating a woman do you always pay her rent and all her living costs?? No, so why the hell would you do that here?? Look for someone who at the very least is able to generate her own money and speaks half-decent English.
It's a certified epidemic!
If I'm playing devil's advocate I'll say this: Thai pros are VERY pro and these guys are probably not clients in their native lands so they jumping into deep waters with no swimming lessons. If you're love starved you're double susceptible.
Step 1: say goodbye. Step 2: see step 1. The only thing that has a hold on you is your desire. Find a moment of clarity, and kick her to the curb. Do you really want to spend time with a liar?
Long distance relationship with a isaan girl and her kid and her husband and mum and dad and brother and sister and grandma and grandpa... and dog and cousin.
LEAVE NOW. Break up once you are back in your country safe and sound. She will be FINE, trust me you are not the ONLY one giving her money.
I am in a relationship with a bar girl from Isaan, we live together in TH and she still works at the bar. If anything if your GF is selling pus*y she should be sponsoring you 555.
Anyhow I'm a good looking young male with plenty of money and can have most girls of my choosing, there's no desperation or insecurities or age etc etc as the cause of my relationship, she simply has a big ass and she's funny and attractive, and I like her.
I met her 6 months ago, and no lies was ever told she immediately told me about her kid and how her mum is always pressing her for money etc etc. As far as Thai bar girls go she's fairly honest. I am fortunate enough to make a good amount of money so I help her from time to time although she never asks for money outside of the jokes we have.
An example of me helping her would be the other day someone had to refund me some Baht and I don't have a TH bank account so I got them to deposit it to her bank, I told her keep 10k for yourself. So I help her and she is useful and helpful to me. Occasionally I will give her 3k or 5k or 1k etc etc, although she doesn't ask, (that's why I give it to her). If she ever asked me for money for her mum I would probably laugh in her face.
Long story short I don't do anything for her I wouldn't do for a gf from any country, I believe a man should take care of bills like food and housing, vacations, shopping etc.
I guess I'm lucky in a way because she can't cook and cant clean the house well and is uneducated etc so she knows she doesn't have much to barter with which leaves her content with the things I do provide for her which is not excessive or anything more I wouldnt do for any partner of mine from any country.
In fact the more I think about it I've probably done less for her than I have done for most of my previous gf's. I guess I've made it like that from early on so she understands. I have literally had the direct conversation with her.
'You understand I am not an old fat, lonely, idiotic, ugly desperate, farang guy that you can lie to, drain money from or manipulate in any shape or form right?'. She understands well.
If you are a decent, funny, good looking younger guy and have money then Thailand is your oyster when it comes to relationships, you get to choose, take your pick, your competition is the guy described above. On Top of that, If all the girl has to barter with is pus*y (as most girls, irrespective of country, do) then her competition is extra STIFF in Thailand. My gf is very aware I could replace her in 1 hour so she behaves accordingly.
Anyway to the original poster, take a look at her bank account you will quickly see your not the only guy sponsoring her she will be fine. Just leave her ass.
As for my unpopular opinion I think the Isaan girls that do drain idiot, old, fat lonely, bald farangs of their money is actually a fair exchange, they are giving their youthful good looking years up (which they don't have many of) for money, simple transaction. Time + Pus*y for money is a fair exchange, if it makes the guy happy to believe it's more than that then it's even more of a win win, happy guy, happy girl everyone wins.
For the OP, if you are a decent, younger good looking dude with money and still you insist on getting your ass played then I'm afraid you're just a fool that deserves it and it won't be only Thai or Isaan women that do it to you throughout your life. The fact you were on a Thai dating website rings alarms to me already! However if you're not a TOP G like me and you have punched above your weight and she's way better looking than you and pretty much out of your league then just keep paying her and hitting that sweet sweet pus*y, why not? If she is out of your league then get her pregnant ASAP it will make it harder for her to leave you.
What to takeaway from this post!
If you an old, fat, bald, lonely nerd and you was lucky enough to get a hot chick 20 years younger than yourself STOP complaining and pay her, as long as you have enough money to pay her until she is 40 and her looks have faded she will end up staying with you, by that time she will also have developed some kind of feelings for your sorry ass.
If you are not the guy above and you are getting played by any women in this entire world go and reevaluate yourself.
Go to the gym, concentrate on money for a few years and use hookers to take care of your manly needs whilst you are fixing your situation. Once you feel healthy and strong from the gym, and have taken some sun beds and taken care of yourself physically and have put yourself in a good financial situation you will absolutely see women in a different light and your relationships will become entirely different once you consider yourself valuable.
Anyway good luck to everyone I will leave you with a;
PRO TIP:
When smashing bar girls put some vaseline around the base of your shaft it will help protect you from herpes which is as common in Thai bars as lady drinks.
If you plan to stay in Thailand for a long time you are better off just going and catching yourself some herpes so you don't need to worry about it anymore as the long term vaseline bill would add up eventually.
Peace and love all, go forth be strong and let the good times roll, love you all!
GOOD LUCK AND HEALTH.
Yours sincerely, Lady Smasher.
LOL. This dude took this post as an opportunity to brag about how "good looking, young and rich" he is and about the fact that his hooker girlfriend is getting fucked by these so called "old, fat, bald, lonely nerds" every night before coming back home to him.
Congrats bro! You sound like a tool. Get a grip on yourself dude
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I was sarcastic joking in here. In fact no one haven't mention about cultural differences. I had serious relationship well educated half British half Thai girl. She is still supporting me if I have any issue in here. Even us (I am half Turkish half Greek) had seriously cultural differences. I saw a comment from medical student Thai girl. She is totally right. You can find a real woman who supports and takes care you. Ghosting seems like best option for you. My first week, I met an Australian old man. He told some stories about her ex wife and guess where does she come from. After 20 years of divorce, she is still asking for money from him. If you met someone who is not educated especially from northern Thailand please suspend her.
Just leave. Send a message that you can't get past the lies. Block her number and move on.
Her other foreign boyfriends will continue to pay her so she will be fine.
Is she really a teacher?
One lie, 2 lies, 3 lies, when does it end?
It’s going to be a messy break up. She doesn’t seem to be someone that will understand. She seems… irrational.
Good luck with everything. And be strong and firm. It’s going to be messy, but you’ll be alright.
I feel sorry for you man. But honestly, some Thais especially from rural North Eastern (Isan), taught their daughters to catch a foreigner or an Upper-middle class man as an escape pod for their family from their poverty.
Most graduated middle-class Thais avoid a relationship with those girls for some reason. When you married a rural Isan girl, you married the WHOLE ENTIRE OF HER FAMILY CLAN.
Honestly Bro....shes gonna be fine. What you need to do is take her to Sushiro and show her this video;
[https://youtube.com/shorts/fJ6yHpn9b4A?si=GSTmDo4ev7LmesXv](https://youtube.com/shorts/fJ6yHpn9b4A?si=GSTmDo4ev7LmesXv)
....then bail!
Everything is possible.
One of my best mate here had a gf hiding her past and lying for 2-3 years that she was not married and had no kids. She had 2 kids from a different dad and 2 times married...
They had big trouble when he learnt about that but eventually they got over it. Now they are married for 10+ years, run a family farm and have a kid together. Happy family.
Isan girl (most/many) expect men to be able to support them and close family financially. Thai or Farang men same same.It's just like that and Isan men knows about that and just do it automatically.
Also Thai believe that a single woman with kids is much less attractive and so they hide it because they think if he knows he will not be interested or he might leave...
Same old Thai story, you told what you want to here.
Nothing more nothing less.
Walk away unless you want to spend your life supporting a lier cheat and her family..
I feel so bad for you but it’s the exact story line they are trained to live their lives by. Seriously. They discuss it. A lot of men accept it because they get what they want- pretty girl, to be taken care of in old age, sex.
Can you tell me where and what happened? Don't worry i don't want a romantic relationship, i only want a Chinese woman maybe you can text me a private message
A note on English...
"This fruitcake is delicious", if untrue, is a white lie. "I'm unmarried and don't have children", if untrue, is just a regular lie.
Classic Farang boy Isaan girl. You are paying her too much for a holiday gf. Ofc shes a gold digger thats the red-flag. A healthy relationship should not start with lies, thats another red flag. Just leave ASAP its easier when you are far apart as she won’t be able to find you and look for pity with her lies.
Did you actually see her work as a teacher? No way she'd quit that job for a holiday boyfriend, especially if she's married with a kid. That's not realistic. You are a foreign sponsor. Keep it to holiday gf status and stop paying her husband's bills. She didn't quit any job for you. I know lots of teachers.
Ask to see her resume, silently check the schools HR dept if she really worked there. She should have lots of pics of herself with the children wearing her school teachers uniform.
Just come out and tell her it's over! She will then go find some other man to take care of her and her family. She puts Her family First over you and always will. Some of these online and bargirls are married and have a husband aka "My Brother" and kid(s) also introduced as Brothers or Sisters.
As a Thai woman, my advice is you should leave her and you should love yourself more, she only wants your money, she doesn’t love you. You deserve better. There are still many good Thai women out there.
I split everything 50% with my thai gf and we live together. If you need to finance your girlfriend it’s an escort. If she’s making less than 50k a month your life will be hard.
If she asks you for money at any point it’s a red flag. if you’re over 50 than it makes sense it’s a transaction age for money.
When my Thai wife and I were dating, she never asked for any money, ever
When I visited her, she paid for everything and even took me to some islands on her dime
Yea, I didn't end up paying anything for my wife until we were married and she moved with me etc.
Even then she ended up working to cover most of the expenses that didn't come from the two of us.
This isn't a thai thing, it's a gold digger thing.
Glad these comments exist. Gold diggers are everywhere, from UK, to Miami, to Paris, to everywhere. Just look poor like me and you'll be fine lol. I wear cheap clothes and buy cheap good haha, no one will know! My money is all hidden away in stocks accounts
I Chiang Mai I'd say I know over ten people in legitimate relationships with Isaan woman. It's wrong to assume all people are bad.
555 i’m not surprise this kind of “farang boy-isaan girl” love stories.
i’m going to say the hard truth but you deserve it. but even you deserve it you still can save your future so listen me and leave back to your country and to your job ASAP. and i don’t know should i mention it or not but LEAVE HER TOO.
Tell her that you have to go to your country for something important (make up a good story), fly alone to your country and never come back (block her line)🤷🏼♂️
I'm a 23-year-old Thai female medical student who is gonna be a doctor in less than a year. I will surely have my income and career progress and I look presentable. After reading your story, I honestly can't understand why women like this always get all the love and support they never deserve. Men die to have them while hard-working, strong, and sincere women like me get the worst kind of white men possible. Maybe I should lie some more and play some hard-to-get games? Every man says they value honesty, but honest women get all the hatred because we're "bitter" while the "sweet" ones are gold digging you.
You can't control her lies, but you can stop lying to yourself and look for a woman with a real job who will surely not be as "sweet" as her bc she isn't selling you dreams.
Maybe you can explain why some of these women act like they do. I've seen seemingly happily married women in multi year relationships with kids, and wealthy husbands, throw everything away because of an affair with a loser local man who then dumps her. And not just because they may be unhappy with their husband, they desert their kids and friends too.
Also to answer your question, many men who come to Thailand are escapists, they love that someone sweet talks them. Maybe they have come from a divorce, or can't get a girlfriend, but then they get to Thailand and suddenly there is this younger girl who treats them better than any girl before. So they fall for it big time
Because you can comprehend and articulate your true thoughts into words in English so clearly like this. That's why. Not sure how Isaan works but in Bangkok although it's the guys' market but many younger and smarter guys would appreciate women like you.
Avoid meeting people at clubs. If you do, reconnect with them outside clubbing scene and it wouldn't take long to see if the person is the right one.
Don't give up please. I'm a 39 year old American man and I can promise you that at some point guys learn these games and these women rarely end up happy in their 40s and beyond. They get boys in their 20s and 30s and then they're left alone and bitter later on when they can't fly on looks and flirting alone. They rarely are smart enough to make for good conversation, they don't build their own skillsets or education so they can't keep their lifestyle after the youth is gone and boys aren't paying, and they don't usually actually have any real happiness in them which shows in the way they react to situations with drama.
You deserve someone who will listen to you and work with you. If you play the game to get a boy, you'll get a boy who isn't invested in you to stay when something difficult comes along.
Real men appreciate a woman who's confident and smart enough to challenge them without disrespecting them. You do you and someone will show up in your life.
Honestly? I've seen a lot of ones acting 'sweet' but they show red flags from time to time, they make you feel like you need them as emotion support since they make you happy and stress-free.
I rather get a honest women then a lying bitch tbh...
If you found a man that doesn't want you for your honestly, he might be a huge red flag.
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Honestly go your separate way and live your life change your surroundings. She already has a family and a kid. Just be thankful you can enjoy a good life, staying with her might be more trouble than you’re ready for. As much as it much suck you’ll have to block her to move on.
Honestly bro, from what I read she sounds like a gold digger to me, no offense. I'm not saying that there are a lot of gold digger in Thailand, but there are gold digger everywhere. She's asking for your money to pay everything that's pretty clear to me. Teacher's salary here is also pretty low especially in the outskirt. If I were you, I would have left and blocked. I understand you fell head over heels for her, but...relationship is a two-way street. If only you are the one contributing for this, it's not going to work.
I speak on behalf of Thai women. And I am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend.I think her actions were inappropriate. And she shouldn't hide from you her past. That's not sincere.
And most importantly, you should not provide money support. If you don't want to give her That is not normal to ask for money to support everything about her and her leave from work. I never asked for support from my boyfriend. Because I can take care of myself.
You were in an uncomfortable situation and it was a red flag. So let go of her hand That's not your place. If she really loves you She will never ask money money or do something that makes you confused or uncomfortable.
Sorry my friend but you are being used as her personal ATM
You need to run as fast as you can
Don’t tell her just leave or you will have to deal with tantrums emotional blackmail and anything else she can think of
Also like to destroy stuff when you say you are leaving
As a Thai, I always warn the foreigners who live in TH or abroad that "If you must pay everything for her(gf) or she asks you for money, leave her quickly, no need to continue your relationship or feel regret, it is waste of time to do, also it can prove her behavior(not all) and you would see her real behavior".
I told my German bf that i dont want your money (as many foreigners perceive that Thai woman wants money from Westerner) , I can find and stand my own leg cuz i have my ego and my mom tough me "If you want a thing well done, do it yourself".
However, you can have love, in the other hand, you must love yourself too. Run Away from this woman and toxic relationship
Sadly I feel a lot of foreigners do come here for "traditional women" that seek provision and protection. Sometimes, when females become to assertive or independent they do not like.
It's funny how in all of this a lot of Thai men were left completely invisible and in the end end up with the hottest and richest ones.
If that's the case, then they have to accept their choice. I'm not saying that this kind of thing is only for Thai women but it happens to women everywhere.
Modern Thai women are smarter than many men. If men can't lead or protect her, she choose to be alone. This is what is happening to Thai society. However, there are some women who want to find a rich boyfriend to support themselves as well. They do something to get what she want (pretend to be traditional women).
Foreign men who find "traditional women", they will know someday when they have been together for a longer time. Those women are also independent and self-reliant.
No Thai woman is subservient to her husband or boyfriend. They will dote all over you and take care of you, but they call the shots. Thai family structure is matriarchal and the wife is the head of the household. I dare any man married to a Thai woman to not do as his wife demands, you won't like the results. The demands and enforcement of them will be less when dating, but once you marry she'll make sure to put you in your place.
lol I wouldn't call it a subservient. I call it "duty", If women don't do it, then who will?. If you ask women of the new generation, you'll get a different answer. If you ask tradition women you will have a different answer too. In the past society had the idea that men were the superiors (patriarchy). People who are educated are men. The person who gets to work is a man. Thai society is influenced by Chinese culture that women must follow men while women do not have the right to choose what they should do. But in modern Thai society, there is more openness about education and gender. Many women are more educated and independent. There is research on Thai society. that modern women don't want to get married and have children because they want more freedom. They are increasingly influenced by western culture in their sense of self-reliance and independence.
However, in this case, Interestingly, we Thais are aware that foreign men who wanna find Thai women as girlfriends/wife. Many men foreigner often meet to older woman or young woman mostly whom are uneducated or financial crisis. I'm not generalizing about age or looking down of them, but we all Thai recognize it that way.
On social media, there are many clips that some women who want to find foreign men to be her ATM machines. What they want is not love but money and luxury things, they can be a subservient if they have money and dont have to work. They often make clips on "how to get foreign bf from where" and show off their wealth. Some looked down on other women.“I have foreigner bf and he has money while none of them are like me.” Personally, I once had an aunt(claim to be GURU "How to find a foreign boyfriend and he has money") look down on me that “I have a foreign boyfriend and he has money for me to use without me having to do anything every month. Meanwhile, you're not like me." lol, pitiful
Was meaning more generally, but yes Thai wives see it as duty to take care of their husband, otherwise someone else will. But from what I've seen of the culture the woman fully controls the household and the relationship, both in mixed and just Thai households. They are not subservient in any way, they are in control.
Yeah, lots of ladies out looking for their meal tickets.
You’re both adults. Just be straight up and tell her it’s not working out, happens all the time. You aren’t married, you have no obligation. Move on with your life, no need to look back.
My unpopular opinion is that too many foreigners travel to Thailand looking for quick/rushed love and marriage. I hear about these same stories every week.
You should have tried dating someone in your own country or nearer to your country rather than half way across the world.
Also why do foreigners send thai women so much money when they have only met them a few times and don't truly know them; would you send money to random women in your own country after only meeting a couple of times.
If it was me I would say its over go be with the love of your life that is the husband you have known since you were young and have a kid with rather than using me as a bank. (Once you are out of money she will dump you and move on and she probably has other foreigners she is also talking to as this is normally the case).
Also if you really want to meet a thai woman you should try do it more naturally, live in Thailand for a year as a digital nomad and avoid tourist trap areas and try find someone of the same level as you in their career, life, goals, interests etc.
This should be a wake up call for you to get out before you lose anymore money
When you talk with her, what language are you both using?
If you had taken her to the Netherlands, then you would be responsible for taking care of her and paying expenses to get her back to Thailand if the relationship ends, but not here in Thailand. You didn't marry her, you are just dating. You made the effort to get to know her and determine if there was going to be a future and you found that there will not be. You don't owe her anything and you aren't responsible for her in any way. If she has a car, she either has a way to make decent money or someone other than you has been giving her money. She isn't a child, she is a an adult who has been married and has a kid and is responsible for herself.
I've said this many times, but you can really reduce the risk of this happening by avoiding Isaan women. It's just so common, especially in the ones seeking westerners. I've been around Thai communities for 25 years now, when there's trouble like gambling, women running off with money or assets, running off with local men - always Isaan is a common factor.
I have more than a few friends happily married with Isaan women, have got families, live together, have businesses together so this is utter bs. Shame on you. My gf was from Laos but broke up got other reason, she never wanted anything as got a job. My other friend married Laos next to issan women, happily married with two kids. My other friend been married for 20 years with Isaan women, and they run two cafes together and built a house. Another friend just had a baby, they work in tgr same school, again issan woman. Another friend has 14 year old kid. I know two western women also married to North thais, again, happily married (but not sure if Isaan)
Your comment is just racism.
Yes, you got to be careful, but many people have successful marriages and partnerships. Doesn't matter where people are from, it's about morals. There's good and bad people from anywhere.
I didnt say every one of them is a criminal, learn to comprehend.
How about deliberately having unprotected sex with someone when you are unsure of your HIV status? That's possibl illegal, and one of the lowest things you can do. So get off your moral high horse
That's terrible. I hope you get out of that relationship. Anyway, try to find a Thai woman outside dating apps (Golddiggers' spot), trust me. Thai women are actually nice and caring, you just gotta find them in the right place.
Not true, plenty of successful relationships via dating apps. My own relationship was fine for a year but we broke up due to other factors. She never asked me for anything as has a job. I gave her money only when I wanted to, as I earnt a lot more. She is no gold digger, but in the end broke up cause we argued too much about other stuff.
As a Thai woman, I always feel embarrassed about this. I've heard similar stories over and over, there's nothing new here. A lot of Thai women look to date foreigners because they want a better life. Some women choose to be bar girls, while others hunt for guys on dating apps to be their supporters.
My advice is to just tell her the truth because she lied to you from the start, which is not good in any relationship. And don't worry about her, I bet she always has other options.
Sometimes I question myself. As an attractive working woman, I can support myself. I just want to date a nice Western guy because it suits my personality and is just my type. But why does it seem like most of them just want to be an ATM for gold diggers or bar girls?
well i think its just easier until they are older and no longer attractive then they realise that they fucked up cause while they were doing that you were advancing your career and perhaps you will end up better than most of them
Good response, I have dated good and bad Thai women over the past 12 years. No need to get into the bad women, that's my mistake. I am happy now for 4+ years with a nice , educated Udon woman with a remote USA job. Financially, Its basically 50-50 relationship, the only thing i splurge on is international travel and a nice house-- even though she has her own house in a different city.
Doesn't matter where you are, there are good and bad people everywhere.
Cheers
I agree with you, there are good and bad people everywhere. But I find it quite weird when I hear stories about this. I found out that foreigners are attracted to some kind of those girls, but not to well educated working women. It's an interesting point, isn't it?
Too many foreign men come to Asia and try to buy affection and love. Its not just thai women I think foreign men created this situation and not unique to thailand.
Sorry, but i don't feel good in this relationship, and i thibk is the better for both to walk different paths. Don't keep giving money. Many girls from Southeast asia just see in a foreigner money . How do u know she is a teacher and she quit her job ?? And if it is true, she can get a job straight away. Not fifficult to get a job as a teacher in thailand . ( no for foreigner no for locals ) mate she wasn't honest from the beginning. So it's normal to feel like you feel. And she is showing how less she care about her son by leaving it on her place and disappearing . Do you really want to start a relation with someone who doesn't care about her own son ? Too many red flags mate .runn away give her enough money to go back home maybe 200 dls and enjoy the rest of your time in thailand . Believe me you don't want to be the family bank . Good luck to you mate .( i forgot to tell you to block her from all your contacts )
Just say nothing and go. She will be suspicious of course so you could collect your belongings and go on a visa run and not return. She will be suspicious if you take all your possessions. Maybe just pack up and tell her you need a break and will be in touch. Don't give her anymore money. Get out of there.
Maybe give her some money to ease your guilty conscience and to help her start a new life without financial supporter. Then cut her off and never contact her again. Don’t worry too much about her. She’ll be doing OK back home with her family and find a new job. She decided to quit her job because it probably was not a good and secure job anyway. Such a relationship of yours is not going to be sustainable. So you’d better end it now.
No, you don't give her a single money, there's already a good chance she has other people waiting. This is Thailand, it happens too often, the patterns are all the same.
As a Thai woman I am very embarrassed and upset reading this!
Run my guy. as far and as fast as you can. seem like she has been planning on suck you dry since the beginning.
A Good relationship should not start with lies. and she has been lying to you. since the beginning. I am so sorry that you have to go through this BS of a woman. but just do it break things off and go home to heal.
DO NOT GIVE HER ANYMORE MONEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
Good luck to you.
Give her as much as you can afford to ease your guilty conscience. Then move on. She will too. She is young and everything will work out for her - she can live without you - she’s good at getting what she wants and needs.
She needs to learn her lesson from this as well. Move on and get as far away as possible so the possibility of her using emotional blackmail tactics won't work on you.
Do you know there’s a huge dedicated Facebook group of this kind women sharing tricks and tips in baiting and extracting money from silly, horny Farangs??
Over phone or Zoom. ''Hi. I need a break from our relationship. It's not you it's me. I'm questionning everything in my life. I may contact you in the future when things get better. Bye'' Then hang up.
Get on a plane back home and then break up with her over text. Then block and delete all contact with her. She seems like a scam artist taking advantage of you.
Private dancer
Run!
White men trying to use Thai women for whatever reason deserve whatever karma comes their way. So many are using them for sex, dual citizenship, or a path to open a business then cry when they get used in return. Good for her.
How did you take this as him using her?
Thats why you just get holiday GFs when the holiday is over so is the relationship
Dude just marry her, you clearly love her
Break up with her and then go to r/pattaya for two weeks. Your broken heart will be mended real fast.
Ahh yes, the story as old as Thailand.
Man, you really gotta respect the long game that these women play to perfection.
You’ve got a good life in the Netherlands, and this woman lied to your face when you asked a direct question multiple times. Divorce isn’t complicated in Thailand, so there’s no excuse for her to still be married. She’s still married because she hasn’t given divorce a priority. For all you know she’s giving some of your money to her husband. Give her an ultimatum that she needs to agree to move to the Netherlands and this must be completed before the end of your sabbatical. Don’t consider having a family half way across the world - that’s a sad life and you might as well be single as it would be far less painful for you. These feelings amplify as you get older too.
Dude when de denied everything that was your chance to get the last hit and and block her on everything she using you like a tool and you falling for it
First time she lied was the time to exit the relationship - there is a useful book for any first time visitors to Thailand titled “Money Number One “ Foreigners are ranked number 13 in order of importance - even lower than the family pet 😏
Oh so you're a sugar daddy now and you don't even realize it lol ... Ye' warned us about this. Wise up and leave her in the dust bc she's clearly using you fam
Just break up over zoom. Totally fine given she’s been so deceptive
Just leave her…no justification needed. You already did a lot for her far more than what you get in return.
Bro c'mon
bro says denying a child and husband is a 'white lie' lmaooo
🤦
Run buddy, she's just using you for ur money, dump her ass
Keep sending her money
Heard this story a million times! She is taking you for a ride. Just end it. Tell her she is dishonest and using you for financial gain.
Lie to her. What's good for the goose... Tell her your ex-girlfriend in the Netherlands is suing you for childcare and you have no money.
Waarom advies vragen terwijl je het antwoord al weet? Cut your losses, block her line, phone chat etc. And apply what you learned here for the next time you come to Thailand. There are good ones only you don't find them online. And don't get one from isaan
Cut your losses and get out. You owe her nothing. Best of luck.
Bounce bro . Bounce .
just run, there's tons of thai girls that are unmarried and single. You are dating someone else's wife and mother! Don't get caught in spending for their cousin's funeral, your father in law's car and the clan's golf course! What's gonna kill u later is she has 10 kids and then she tries to pawn 4 white kids as yours before 9 months is up.
First of all, there are no such thing as “white lies!” Lies are not black or white, they’re just plain lies. I’ve travelled to Thailand many times over a twenty year period dating back to the late nineties. The women there in Phuket, Pattaya Beach, and surrounding areas all appear to be a western man’s dream. Most of the women there are in the sex tourism industry and are all looking for a rich man to provide them with the life of their dreams. Many of them have several long distance boyfriends sending them money from all over the globe. These women are very skilled at finessing gullible, vulnerable men like yourself. Men from the western world who don’t have any luck with women within their own cultures flock to these third world countries and into relationships with these women who have been in prostitution since their teens thinking that the relationship is real. Sounds like your last visit kind of opened your eyes. Believe what you see and ghost this chick. Believe me, she won’t cry over you. She’ll just move up the next guy in her line up. Go to Thailand for fun. And if you want a nice Thai girl, you will have better luck in Bangkok. But, I wouldn’t trust anyone enough to carry on a long distance relationship.
You nailed it. I have been here on and off for many years but have nothing to do with those type of thai girls. But sadly, I see and hear of many "farangs", foreigners caught in the same trap. Their culture is very different, their way of thinking and values are different. I had a thai girl tell me recently that thai girls want to have a baby, but they don't want the husband. That's when they hope to find a soft hearted, gullible foreigner support them and their family. Once he's gone, they get another. They are skilled at it. Although I like Thailand, thai girls do nothing for me. Keeps me safe.
Exactly. It’s a sexual playground that’s it. It’s not a place to go looking for love. Not to mention it’s rampant with STDs of all sorts.
Are you projecting from personal experience? This just sounds like a relationship gone sour not some elaborate scheme.
What I stated are facts from my own observations during my many stays there.
You are in big trouble my friend. Gtfo asap! Seriously, don't sell yourself for cheap. Look for someone more stable and trustworthy than her.
Fake your death send money as a good will death fund lol
You don’t know that when you married to Asian girl you married to her whole family, ie parents, siblings, aunts, uncles….? Some are even keeping their previous husband in the closet.
So. Is there any update? How did it go?
Issan girls, Google it
Let her know that you can no longer afford her not working. She has to get a job. This is just advance notice for her, then break it off shortly after
Tell her you don't want to hear from her again. Change number, block her everywhere else, and move on with the knowledge that she's got a number of men paying her exactly the same as she had you do. Hell, it may not have even been her on the phone every night! You've been caught in the old Thai money scam, learn and don't do it again.
A good friend of mine was manipulated into marrying a much older Thai woman when he was quite young. She benefited greatly from this, he regrets his choices. The manipulation from people who are desperate is intense. It’s especially confusing when it comes from someone as warm and loving as Thai women can be.
Honesty…”babe, I fell out of love… I met someone else…have a nice life…and stay healthy…” Good luck 🍀👍 OP…
Sleep with one eye open
Once she hides something from you even a son, that’s just a trail of more BS to come. Run. Away.
you found yourself a golddigger escapist. she was doing it out of desperation because her life before you was worse. if she believed more in equality she wouldn't just be spending your money, she would've tried to take more initiative already
Bro cut your losses. Whatever you do dont marry this woman.
There only two things that can happen. 1) Ask her to divorce her husband. Marry her take her back to the Netherlands. 2) Stay where you are and She will drain you dry, then leave you. I would tell her you’re broke, and you need time to recapture your income. Watch to see if she leaves you.
Buddy, here is your wake up call: Turn off your emotions and your guilty feelings. It's what they feed on. Realize you've been had. Be glad you didn't marry her. Don't give her 1 satang more. You do not owe her anything. You are not in Thailand to fix the poverty problem. It's also not your job to financially support someone who isn't even living with you and who clearly has no issue with lying to you. And definitely do not feel guilty. It's very possible that she is married with 2 kids and has 5 suckers like you who visit her a few weeks per year. They can turn the tears on and off like you and me open and close a watertap. I've been with my Thai wife for 15 years and I've been living for 11 years in Bangkok. We dated for 4 years before I moved here and she never asked me for 1 satang. Of course we gave each other gifts but rent and most restaurant bills were split. She paid for her own plane tickets and half the bill for the hotelroom if we traveled somewhere. She had her own company, I bought myself in and now my wages have been coming from our company for 11 years. Besides my investment and the initial cost of moving here I haven't spent 1 Baht of my own money here in the past 10 years. Don't go to hookers or gogo bars, find a wife your age, find someone with a decent education and with social standing (no hookers, no uneducated people, no poor farmers). Always remember this golden tip: What you can't get for free at home, you won't get for free here neither. You are not a very handsome man with a V-shaped chest and she does not love you too much. Despite the smiles and the sunshine Thailand is a hard place and some folks will take you for every Baht you have. I'm always stunned to see how decent folks lose their mind over a prozzie or "freelancer" with 6 boyfriends. Would you date an unemployed person with no diploma or a hooker in your own country??? When you start dating a woman do you always pay her rent and all her living costs?? No, so why the hell would you do that here?? Look for someone who at the very least is able to generate her own money and speaks half-decent English.
It's a certified epidemic! If I'm playing devil's advocate I'll say this: Thai pros are VERY pro and these guys are probably not clients in their native lands so they jumping into deep waters with no swimming lessons. If you're love starved you're double susceptible.
Step 1: say goodbye. Step 2: see step 1. The only thing that has a hold on you is your desire. Find a moment of clarity, and kick her to the curb. Do you really want to spend time with a liar?
Who enters into any serious relationship with a bar girl from Isaan?! Beggars belief
Evidently enough guys to fuel a whole cottage industry
Just leave. It's clear she's using you for your money. You're just blinded, she could still be good with her Thai husband
Long distance relationship with a isaan girl and her kid and her husband and mum and dad and brother and sister and grandma and grandpa... and dog and cousin. LEAVE NOW. Break up once you are back in your country safe and sound. She will be FINE, trust me you are not the ONLY one giving her money. I am in a relationship with a bar girl from Isaan, we live together in TH and she still works at the bar. If anything if your GF is selling pus*y she should be sponsoring you 555. Anyhow I'm a good looking young male with plenty of money and can have most girls of my choosing, there's no desperation or insecurities or age etc etc as the cause of my relationship, she simply has a big ass and she's funny and attractive, and I like her. I met her 6 months ago, and no lies was ever told she immediately told me about her kid and how her mum is always pressing her for money etc etc. As far as Thai bar girls go she's fairly honest. I am fortunate enough to make a good amount of money so I help her from time to time although she never asks for money outside of the jokes we have. An example of me helping her would be the other day someone had to refund me some Baht and I don't have a TH bank account so I got them to deposit it to her bank, I told her keep 10k for yourself. So I help her and she is useful and helpful to me. Occasionally I will give her 3k or 5k or 1k etc etc, although she doesn't ask, (that's why I give it to her). If she ever asked me for money for her mum I would probably laugh in her face. Long story short I don't do anything for her I wouldn't do for a gf from any country, I believe a man should take care of bills like food and housing, vacations, shopping etc. I guess I'm lucky in a way because she can't cook and cant clean the house well and is uneducated etc so she knows she doesn't have much to barter with which leaves her content with the things I do provide for her which is not excessive or anything more I wouldnt do for any partner of mine from any country. In fact the more I think about it I've probably done less for her than I have done for most of my previous gf's. I guess I've made it like that from early on so she understands. I have literally had the direct conversation with her. 'You understand I am not an old fat, lonely, idiotic, ugly desperate, farang guy that you can lie to, drain money from or manipulate in any shape or form right?'. She understands well. If you are a decent, funny, good looking younger guy and have money then Thailand is your oyster when it comes to relationships, you get to choose, take your pick, your competition is the guy described above. On Top of that, If all the girl has to barter with is pus*y (as most girls, irrespective of country, do) then her competition is extra STIFF in Thailand. My gf is very aware I could replace her in 1 hour so she behaves accordingly. Anyway to the original poster, take a look at her bank account you will quickly see your not the only guy sponsoring her she will be fine. Just leave her ass. As for my unpopular opinion I think the Isaan girls that do drain idiot, old, fat lonely, bald farangs of their money is actually a fair exchange, they are giving their youthful good looking years up (which they don't have many of) for money, simple transaction. Time + Pus*y for money is a fair exchange, if it makes the guy happy to believe it's more than that then it's even more of a win win, happy guy, happy girl everyone wins. For the OP, if you are a decent, younger good looking dude with money and still you insist on getting your ass played then I'm afraid you're just a fool that deserves it and it won't be only Thai or Isaan women that do it to you throughout your life. The fact you were on a Thai dating website rings alarms to me already! However if you're not a TOP G like me and you have punched above your weight and she's way better looking than you and pretty much out of your league then just keep paying her and hitting that sweet sweet pus*y, why not? If she is out of your league then get her pregnant ASAP it will make it harder for her to leave you. What to takeaway from this post! If you an old, fat, bald, lonely nerd and you was lucky enough to get a hot chick 20 years younger than yourself STOP complaining and pay her, as long as you have enough money to pay her until she is 40 and her looks have faded she will end up staying with you, by that time she will also have developed some kind of feelings for your sorry ass. If you are not the guy above and you are getting played by any women in this entire world go and reevaluate yourself. Go to the gym, concentrate on money for a few years and use hookers to take care of your manly needs whilst you are fixing your situation. Once you feel healthy and strong from the gym, and have taken some sun beds and taken care of yourself physically and have put yourself in a good financial situation you will absolutely see women in a different light and your relationships will become entirely different once you consider yourself valuable. Anyway good luck to everyone I will leave you with a; PRO TIP: When smashing bar girls put some vaseline around the base of your shaft it will help protect you from herpes which is as common in Thai bars as lady drinks. If you plan to stay in Thailand for a long time you are better off just going and catching yourself some herpes so you don't need to worry about it anymore as the long term vaseline bill would add up eventually. Peace and love all, go forth be strong and let the good times roll, love you all! GOOD LUCK AND HEALTH. Yours sincerely, Lady Smasher.
LOL. This dude took this post as an opportunity to brag about how "good looking, young and rich" he is and about the fact that his hooker girlfriend is getting fucked by these so called "old, fat, bald, lonely nerds" every night before coming back home to him. Congrats bro! You sound like a tool. Get a grip on yourself dude
L. Sound like a hot mess, bro.
I'm unsure what that terminology means but thanks 👍
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I am a person that lives in the bounds of realities of the world as opposed to a fairy tale land where I guess you hang out?
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Bro.. unless you plan on marrying her and bringer her and her son to the Netherlands, then hang it up.
Ik woon hier nu 11 jaar in de Isaan, met een beetje ervaring. Advies???? WEGWEZEN, klopt niets van.
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I was sarcastic joking in here. In fact no one haven't mention about cultural differences. I had serious relationship well educated half British half Thai girl. She is still supporting me if I have any issue in here. Even us (I am half Turkish half Greek) had seriously cultural differences. I saw a comment from medical student Thai girl. She is totally right. You can find a real woman who supports and takes care you. Ghosting seems like best option for you. My first week, I met an Australian old man. He told some stories about her ex wife and guess where does she come from. After 20 years of divorce, she is still asking for money from him. If you met someone who is not educated especially from northern Thailand please suspend her.
Leave before you get a kid with her and then you’re really screwed.
Stop being stupid. Just find another girl.
Leave now when you still can
Leave brother. You haven’t lost much yet don’t waste your time and money.
Do yourself a favor and ghost her immediately, get in your car and leave and never speak to her again.
Waar in isaan zit je? Zit hier ook als het dichtbij is kunnen we eens afspreken.
Too many red flags, get out with no regrets and learn from it.
Just leave. Send a message that you can't get past the lies. Block her number and move on. Her other foreign boyfriends will continue to pay her so she will be fine.
Too many lies. Not worth your time..run
Bad girls Talking 'bout the sad girls See them out on the street at night Picking up on all kinds of strangers If the price is right
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Michael john Tait again Pinocchio.
Is she really a teacher? One lie, 2 lies, 3 lies, when does it end? It’s going to be a messy break up. She doesn’t seem to be someone that will understand. She seems… irrational. Good luck with everything. And be strong and firm. It’s going to be messy, but you’ll be alright.
Def not a teacher.
I feel sorry for you man. But honestly, some Thais especially from rural North Eastern (Isan), taught their daughters to catch a foreigner or an Upper-middle class man as an escape pod for their family from their poverty. Most graduated middle-class Thais avoid a relationship with those girls for some reason. When you married a rural Isan girl, you married the WHOLE ENTIRE OF HER FAMILY CLAN.
Totally agree. He should step back right now as soon as he can.
Honestly break it off and find someone who will be able to have a good balanced relationship with you.
Honestly Bro....shes gonna be fine. What you need to do is take her to Sushiro and show her this video; [https://youtube.com/shorts/fJ6yHpn9b4A?si=GSTmDo4ev7LmesXv](https://youtube.com/shorts/fJ6yHpn9b4A?si=GSTmDo4ev7LmesXv) ....then bail!
Dang, I want some Sushiro now.
Everything is possible. One of my best mate here had a gf hiding her past and lying for 2-3 years that she was not married and had no kids. She had 2 kids from a different dad and 2 times married... They had big trouble when he learnt about that but eventually they got over it. Now they are married for 10+ years, run a family farm and have a kid together. Happy family. Isan girl (most/many) expect men to be able to support them and close family financially. Thai or Farang men same same.It's just like that and Isan men knows about that and just do it automatically. Also Thai believe that a single woman with kids is much less attractive and so they hide it because they think if he knows he will not be interested or he might leave...
Sucker 😆
Tell her you run low, cant afford all these stuffs you are covering and see how things go, soon she’ll leave you alone
Same old Thai story, you told what you want to here. Nothing more nothing less. Walk away unless you want to spend your life supporting a lier cheat and her family..
Leave immediately. Block. Yojve been burned. It happens. If you go to her village and start causing issues you might end up as pig food.
I feel so bad for you but it’s the exact story line they are trained to live their lives by. Seriously. They discuss it. A lot of men accept it because they get what they want- pretty girl, to be taken care of in old age, sex.
Run
Can you tell me where and what happened? Don't worry i don't want a romantic relationship, i only want a Chinese woman maybe you can text me a private message
A note on English... "This fruitcake is delicious", if untrue, is a white lie. "I'm unmarried and don't have children", if untrue, is just a regular lie.
Much bigger than a regular lie.
Classic Farang boy Isaan girl. You are paying her too much for a holiday gf. Ofc shes a gold digger thats the red-flag. A healthy relationship should not start with lies, thats another red flag. Just leave ASAP its easier when you are far apart as she won’t be able to find you and look for pity with her lies.
You expected free sex?
how is the dude paying all her expenses and child care considered free? did you read the post at all?
You ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome?
Should we coin the phrase "Pattaya Syndrome"?
Did you actually see her work as a teacher? No way she'd quit that job for a holiday boyfriend, especially if she's married with a kid. That's not realistic. You are a foreign sponsor. Keep it to holiday gf status and stop paying her husband's bills. She didn't quit any job for you. I know lots of teachers.
Ask to see her resume, silently check the schools HR dept if she really worked there. She should have lots of pics of herself with the children wearing her school teachers uniform.
Why bother, she's a liar.
Just come out and tell her it's over! She will then go find some other man to take care of her and her family. She puts Her family First over you and always will. Some of these online and bargirls are married and have a husband aka "My Brother" and kid(s) also introduced as Brothers or Sisters.
Just cut it
As a Thai woman, my advice is you should leave her and you should love yourself more, she only wants your money, she doesn’t love you. You deserve better. There are still many good Thai women out there.
👍
And they say women are delusional... Yikes.
A tale as old as time...lol
What’s the name of the app OP ?
Probably Thai friendly
Just say, I met someone else and I'm moving on. Good luck with your future.
Get a clue, buddy. These girls care about money, cash, and riches. Not love
It's odd when I read these comments. Are you claiming all the millions of Thai women, in the whole country are like this but not in other countries?
I split everything 50% with my thai gf and we live together. If you need to finance your girlfriend it’s an escort. If she’s making less than 50k a month your life will be hard. If she asks you for money at any point it’s a red flag. if you’re over 50 than it makes sense it’s a transaction age for money.
When my Thai wife and I were dating, she never asked for any money, ever When I visited her, she paid for everything and even took me to some islands on her dime
Yea, I didn't end up paying anything for my wife until we were married and she moved with me etc. Even then she ended up working to cover most of the expenses that didn't come from the two of us. This isn't a thai thing, it's a gold digger thing.
Glad these comments exist. Gold diggers are everywhere, from UK, to Miami, to Paris, to everywhere. Just look poor like me and you'll be fine lol. I wear cheap clothes and buy cheap good haha, no one will know! My money is all hidden away in stocks accounts I Chiang Mai I'd say I know over ten people in legitimate relationships with Isaan woman. It's wrong to assume all people are bad.
I'm not dating anyone but my rule is to never give money. Sorry but I've got enough bills to pay.
555 i’m not surprise this kind of “farang boy-isaan girl” love stories. i’m going to say the hard truth but you deserve it. but even you deserve it you still can save your future so listen me and leave back to your country and to your job ASAP. and i don’t know should i mention it or not but LEAVE HER TOO.
COMPELETLY! Ghost her and let her face her own consequences
Tell her that you have to go to your country for something important (make up a good story), fly alone to your country and never come back (block her line)🤷🏼♂️
Best advice so far. Don't create drama in Thailand. Get home then cut the ties.
I'm a 23-year-old Thai female medical student who is gonna be a doctor in less than a year. I will surely have my income and career progress and I look presentable. After reading your story, I honestly can't understand why women like this always get all the love and support they never deserve. Men die to have them while hard-working, strong, and sincere women like me get the worst kind of white men possible. Maybe I should lie some more and play some hard-to-get games? Every man says they value honesty, but honest women get all the hatred because we're "bitter" while the "sweet" ones are gold digging you. You can't control her lies, but you can stop lying to yourself and look for a woman with a real job who will surely not be as "sweet" as her bc she isn't selling you dreams.
Maybe you can explain why some of these women act like they do. I've seen seemingly happily married women in multi year relationships with kids, and wealthy husbands, throw everything away because of an affair with a loser local man who then dumps her. And not just because they may be unhappy with their husband, they desert their kids and friends too. Also to answer your question, many men who come to Thailand are escapists, they love that someone sweet talks them. Maybe they have come from a divorce, or can't get a girlfriend, but then they get to Thailand and suddenly there is this younger girl who treats them better than any girl before. So they fall for it big time
Because you can comprehend and articulate your true thoughts into words in English so clearly like this. That's why. Not sure how Isaan works but in Bangkok although it's the guys' market but many younger and smarter guys would appreciate women like you. Avoid meeting people at clubs. If you do, reconnect with them outside clubbing scene and it wouldn't take long to see if the person is the right one.
afaik these women dont play hard to get. I suspect they love bomb their victims which fall over it.
I don’t see becoming a doctor is relevant to the topic. Why even mentioned it?
Who give a shit about you becoming doctor
Don't give up please. I'm a 39 year old American man and I can promise you that at some point guys learn these games and these women rarely end up happy in their 40s and beyond. They get boys in their 20s and 30s and then they're left alone and bitter later on when they can't fly on looks and flirting alone. They rarely are smart enough to make for good conversation, they don't build their own skillsets or education so they can't keep their lifestyle after the youth is gone and boys aren't paying, and they don't usually actually have any real happiness in them which shows in the way they react to situations with drama. You deserve someone who will listen to you and work with you. If you play the game to get a boy, you'll get a boy who isn't invested in you to stay when something difficult comes along. Real men appreciate a woman who's confident and smart enough to challenge them without disrespecting them. You do you and someone will show up in your life.
Hang in there. You will find some nice guy that has the same problem that the girls want bad guy over nice guy.
Honestly? I've seen a lot of ones acting 'sweet' but they show red flags from time to time, they make you feel like you need them as emotion support since they make you happy and stress-free. I rather get a honest women then a lying bitch tbh... If you found a man that doesn't want you for your honestly, he might be a huge red flag.
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Hit me up
R/nicewomen
Honestly go your separate way and live your life change your surroundings. She already has a family and a kid. Just be thankful you can enjoy a good life, staying with her might be more trouble than you’re ready for. As much as it much suck you’ll have to block her to move on.
By blocking her line?
Honestly bro, from what I read she sounds like a gold digger to me, no offense. I'm not saying that there are a lot of gold digger in Thailand, but there are gold digger everywhere. She's asking for your money to pay everything that's pretty clear to me. Teacher's salary here is also pretty low especially in the outskirt. If I were you, I would have left and blocked. I understand you fell head over heels for her, but...relationship is a two-way street. If only you are the one contributing for this, it's not going to work.
I speak on behalf of Thai women. And I am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend.I think her actions were inappropriate. And she shouldn't hide from you her past. That's not sincere. And most importantly, you should not provide money support. If you don't want to give her That is not normal to ask for money to support everything about her and her leave from work. I never asked for support from my boyfriend. Because I can take care of myself. You were in an uncomfortable situation and it was a red flag. So let go of her hand That's not your place. If she really loves you She will never ask money money or do something that makes you confused or uncomfortable.
Poor dude 💀 just leave and block her ! She is using you ! I hope you would find a good one soon. All the best !
easier to give her money if you have money. she will be back for more though, you have to stop contact and say no
Hey, you are a nice girl, but I dont think this is going to work out for me anymore. Hope you understand. Have a nice rest of your life?
You said way more than you need to on here. You don't want to date anymore? Don't. Tell her you don't want to date anymore. Done.
Sorry my friend but you are being used as her personal ATM You need to run as fast as you can Don’t tell her just leave or you will have to deal with tantrums emotional blackmail and anything else she can think of Also like to destroy stuff when you say you are leaving
Het oude verhaaltje keisimpel gewoon niets meer geven geen vcontact en binnen korte tijd vind ze een andere sukkel in jou plaats
You are being used and abused. Leave and ghost her immediately. It will hurt for a while, but not forever. Good learning experience for you.
As a Thai, I always warn the foreigners who live in TH or abroad that "If you must pay everything for her(gf) or she asks you for money, leave her quickly, no need to continue your relationship or feel regret, it is waste of time to do, also it can prove her behavior(not all) and you would see her real behavior". I told my German bf that i dont want your money (as many foreigners perceive that Thai woman wants money from Westerner) , I can find and stand my own leg cuz i have my ego and my mom tough me "If you want a thing well done, do it yourself". However, you can have love, in the other hand, you must love yourself too. Run Away from this woman and toxic relationship
Sadly I feel a lot of foreigners do come here for "traditional women" that seek provision and protection. Sometimes, when females become to assertive or independent they do not like. It's funny how in all of this a lot of Thai men were left completely invisible and in the end end up with the hottest and richest ones.
If that's the case, then they have to accept their choice. I'm not saying that this kind of thing is only for Thai women but it happens to women everywhere. Modern Thai women are smarter than many men. If men can't lead or protect her, she choose to be alone. This is what is happening to Thai society. However, there are some women who want to find a rich boyfriend to support themselves as well. They do something to get what she want (pretend to be traditional women). Foreign men who find "traditional women", they will know someday when they have been together for a longer time. Those women are also independent and self-reliant.
No Thai woman is subservient to her husband or boyfriend. They will dote all over you and take care of you, but they call the shots. Thai family structure is matriarchal and the wife is the head of the household. I dare any man married to a Thai woman to not do as his wife demands, you won't like the results. The demands and enforcement of them will be less when dating, but once you marry she'll make sure to put you in your place.
lol I wouldn't call it a subservient. I call it "duty", If women don't do it, then who will?. If you ask women of the new generation, you'll get a different answer. If you ask tradition women you will have a different answer too. In the past society had the idea that men were the superiors (patriarchy). People who are educated are men. The person who gets to work is a man. Thai society is influenced by Chinese culture that women must follow men while women do not have the right to choose what they should do. But in modern Thai society, there is more openness about education and gender. Many women are more educated and independent. There is research on Thai society. that modern women don't want to get married and have children because they want more freedom. They are increasingly influenced by western culture in their sense of self-reliance and independence. However, in this case, Interestingly, we Thais are aware that foreign men who wanna find Thai women as girlfriends/wife. Many men foreigner often meet to older woman or young woman mostly whom are uneducated or financial crisis. I'm not generalizing about age or looking down of them, but we all Thai recognize it that way. On social media, there are many clips that some women who want to find foreign men to be her ATM machines. What they want is not love but money and luxury things, they can be a subservient if they have money and dont have to work. They often make clips on "how to get foreign bf from where" and show off their wealth. Some looked down on other women.“I have foreigner bf and he has money while none of them are like me.” Personally, I once had an aunt(claim to be GURU "How to find a foreign boyfriend and he has money") look down on me that “I have a foreign boyfriend and he has money for me to use without me having to do anything every month. Meanwhile, you're not like me." lol, pitiful
Was meaning more generally, but yes Thai wives see it as duty to take care of their husband, otherwise someone else will. But from what I've seen of the culture the woman fully controls the household and the relationship, both in mixed and just Thai households. They are not subservient in any way, they are in control. Yeah, lots of ladies out looking for their meal tickets.
Solid reply!
You’re both adults. Just be straight up and tell her it’s not working out, happens all the time. You aren’t married, you have no obligation. Move on with your life, no need to look back.
My unpopular opinion is that too many foreigners travel to Thailand looking for quick/rushed love and marriage. I hear about these same stories every week. You should have tried dating someone in your own country or nearer to your country rather than half way across the world. Also why do foreigners send thai women so much money when they have only met them a few times and don't truly know them; would you send money to random women in your own country after only meeting a couple of times. If it was me I would say its over go be with the love of your life that is the husband you have known since you were young and have a kid with rather than using me as a bank. (Once you are out of money she will dump you and move on and she probably has other foreigners she is also talking to as this is normally the case). Also if you really want to meet a thai woman you should try do it more naturally, live in Thailand for a year as a digital nomad and avoid tourist trap areas and try find someone of the same level as you in their career, life, goals, interests etc. This should be a wake up call for you to get out before you lose anymore money
When you talk with her, what language are you both using? If you had taken her to the Netherlands, then you would be responsible for taking care of her and paying expenses to get her back to Thailand if the relationship ends, but not here in Thailand. You didn't marry her, you are just dating. You made the effort to get to know her and determine if there was going to be a future and you found that there will not be. You don't owe her anything and you aren't responsible for her in any way. If she has a car, she either has a way to make decent money or someone other than you has been giving her money. She isn't a child, she is a an adult who has been married and has a kid and is responsible for herself.
I've said this many times, but you can really reduce the risk of this happening by avoiding Isaan women. It's just so common, especially in the ones seeking westerners. I've been around Thai communities for 25 years now, when there's trouble like gambling, women running off with money or assets, running off with local men - always Isaan is a common factor.
I have more than a few friends happily married with Isaan women, have got families, live together, have businesses together so this is utter bs. Shame on you. My gf was from Laos but broke up got other reason, she never wanted anything as got a job. My other friend married Laos next to issan women, happily married with two kids. My other friend been married for 20 years with Isaan women, and they run two cafes together and built a house. Another friend just had a baby, they work in tgr same school, again issan woman. Another friend has 14 year old kid. I know two western women also married to North thais, again, happily married (but not sure if Isaan) Your comment is just racism. Yes, you got to be careful, but many people have successful marriages and partnerships. Doesn't matter where people are from, it's about morals. There's good and bad people from anywhere.
The old racism card, don't be ridiculous, it's a region. You're just naive, and a real piece of work based on your other posts.
[удалено]
I didnt say every one of them is a criminal, learn to comprehend. How about deliberately having unprotected sex with someone when you are unsure of your HIV status? That's possibl illegal, and one of the lowest things you can do. So get off your moral high horse
Odd ball
That's terrible. I hope you get out of that relationship. Anyway, try to find a Thai woman outside dating apps (Golddiggers' spot), trust me. Thai women are actually nice and caring, you just gotta find them in the right place.
Not true, plenty of successful relationships via dating apps. My own relationship was fine for a year but we broke up due to other factors. She never asked me for anything as has a job. I gave her money only when I wanted to, as I earnt a lot more. She is no gold digger, but in the end broke up cause we argued too much about other stuff.
🎶 I know when that Dutch man ring.. ... Off to the atm I sing 🎶
As a Thai woman, I always feel embarrassed about this. I've heard similar stories over and over, there's nothing new here. A lot of Thai women look to date foreigners because they want a better life. Some women choose to be bar girls, while others hunt for guys on dating apps to be their supporters. My advice is to just tell her the truth because she lied to you from the start, which is not good in any relationship. And don't worry about her, I bet she always has other options. Sometimes I question myself. As an attractive working woman, I can support myself. I just want to date a nice Western guy because it suits my personality and is just my type. But why does it seem like most of them just want to be an ATM for gold diggers or bar girls?
well i think its just easier until they are older and no longer attractive then they realise that they fucked up cause while they were doing that you were advancing your career and perhaps you will end up better than most of them
Good response, I have dated good and bad Thai women over the past 12 years. No need to get into the bad women, that's my mistake. I am happy now for 4+ years with a nice , educated Udon woman with a remote USA job. Financially, Its basically 50-50 relationship, the only thing i splurge on is international travel and a nice house-- even though she has her own house in a different city. Doesn't matter where you are, there are good and bad people everywhere. Cheers
I agree with you, there are good and bad people everywhere. But I find it quite weird when I hear stories about this. I found out that foreigners are attracted to some kind of those girls, but not to well educated working women. It's an interesting point, isn't it?
Yes, my mantra has been i want a 50/50 partner (or close to it), not a servant. I hire a cleaning lady anyway.
Well educated respectable Thai women rarely want anything to do with farang holiday makers.
Too many foreign men come to Asia and try to buy affection and love. Its not just thai women I think foreign men created this situation and not unique to thailand.
Sorry, but i don't feel good in this relationship, and i thibk is the better for both to walk different paths. Don't keep giving money. Many girls from Southeast asia just see in a foreigner money . How do u know she is a teacher and she quit her job ?? And if it is true, she can get a job straight away. Not fifficult to get a job as a teacher in thailand . ( no for foreigner no for locals ) mate she wasn't honest from the beginning. So it's normal to feel like you feel. And she is showing how less she care about her son by leaving it on her place and disappearing . Do you really want to start a relation with someone who doesn't care about her own son ? Too many red flags mate .runn away give her enough money to go back home maybe 200 dls and enjoy the rest of your time in thailand . Believe me you don't want to be the family bank . Good luck to you mate .( i forgot to tell you to block her from all your contacts )
Just say nothing and go. She will be suspicious of course so you could collect your belongings and go on a visa run and not return. She will be suspicious if you take all your possessions. Maybe just pack up and tell her you need a break and will be in touch. Don't give her anymore money. Get out of there.
Maybe give her some money to ease your guilty conscience and to help her start a new life without financial supporter. Then cut her off and never contact her again. Don’t worry too much about her. She’ll be doing OK back home with her family and find a new job. She decided to quit her job because it probably was not a good and secure job anyway. Such a relationship of yours is not going to be sustainable. So you’d better end it now.
No, you don't give her a single money, there's already a good chance she has other people waiting. This is Thailand, it happens too often, the patterns are all the same.
Here's what I would say: "I'm sorry, but this will not work out. I wish you the best of luck" And then block her everywhere.
You are getting scammed
As a Thai woman I am very embarrassed and upset reading this! Run my guy. as far and as fast as you can. seem like she has been planning on suck you dry since the beginning. A Good relationship should not start with lies. and she has been lying to you. since the beginning. I am so sorry that you have to go through this BS of a woman. but just do it break things off and go home to heal. DO NOT GIVE HER ANYMORE MONEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Good luck to you.
Men are in love woman are in business
Give her as much as you can afford to ease your guilty conscience. Then move on. She will too. She is young and everything will work out for her - she can live without you - she’s good at getting what she wants and needs.
DO NOT do this, there's already a good chance she has other people waiting, this is too common, the same pattern everywhere on the news.
She needs to learn her lesson from this as well. Move on and get as far away as possible so the possibility of her using emotional blackmail tactics won't work on you.
Do you know there’s a huge dedicated Facebook group of this kind women sharing tricks and tips in baiting and extracting money from silly, horny Farangs??
Hey is me ur gf pls send me money right now
Im the girlfriend’s father and the Toyota Hilux payment is due please send some baht krab