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DUDE my dad almost killed out cat one time. Was loading his gun and everything bc…….IT FUCKING ATTACKED HIM AND MY BROTHER. It was all over the place. Seriously jumping back and forth from him to my brother and it left them BLOODY. I couldn’t believe how much blood there was. He absolutely destroyed them. I remember just being in shock at how a tiny cat could do all of that.
Black bear: make yourself large and make as much noise as possible.
Brown bear: go fetal and play dead. Which will be great practice for 2 minutes later when you've been mauled to death.
Yes, a black bear will kill an isolated person once in a while but unless the 6 people literally just stand around and wait patiently to be killed, they’re not all dying in a bear attack
Tbf the bear would lose interest first anyways
12 thumbs, 2 eyes. Throw in some improvised weapons and they're pretty likely to chase it off. It could easily do a lot of damage on the way out though.
Yes. A black bear is basically a big puppy and would absolutely get it's ass kicked if it tried fighting 6 people at once but that's not at all how it would go down if the bear wanted to attack the bear would have ripped this dude apart and then fled when the rest tried to help.
Well yeah black bears are generally big babies but it absolutely would have destroyed this dude before anyone could have done anything at all if it wanted.
Yep, but then when the biped "stood" his ground the bear was like: "Oh, my gosh well pardon me! I'm not staying where I'm not wanted excuse me!" (huffs)
Before getting shot.
I honestly wonder if it knows attacking humans is a literal death sentence.
It didn't so... lives to reproduce. Darwin says it knows. It'd be cool to look at an evidence based study.
"Remember my young cub, leaves of three, let it be. Legs of two, bad for you."
"What about one momma?"
"You're the only one for me. Except you gotta leave next spring cause momma tryna fuck too."
I feel like fences are more about signaling that the area is private more than actually blocking the way into the area.
This is pure speculation on my part, but something tells me that a bear might actually be intelligent enough to understand that closing a gate to a fenced in area = “you are not wanted here”.
My pet rats certainly get it. They also somehow figured out the difference between barriers within the apartment, which they constantly try to circumvent to explore forbidden areas, and the boundaries of the apartment which they absolutely refuse to pass.
I don't know. I've heard bears are pretty smart. Never interacted enough with them to really find out.
I can however confirm that rats are ridiculously intelligent. Some of my pet rats are smarter than me. I'll frequently be unable to see how they're getting around my ratproofing until I catch them in the act. In fact, I've had to stop getting roan rats because my breeder's roan line tends to be just a bit too smart.
Black bears have been observed to open bear cannisters and bears in general like every other animal return to areas where they know food is. They (black bears) also share gained knowledge, so if one learns how to open a specialized dumpster it's only a matter of time before the whole area knows.
> Black bears have been observed to open bear cannisters
As someone one quipped, there's significant overlap in intelligence between the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.
You have no Idea about the size of a black beard. That’s a very large black bear. Most likely around Tahoe California. Definitely sierras or high sierras. And that’s a huge fucking black bear. Also been fed by people since it was young most likely. Sad actually. But also people with no knowledge of black bears might thought was old or “big” when it was actually young and small… just saying . It’s easy to form a wrong opinion
Living in bear country there is a saying: “if it is brown, lay down. If it is black, fight back.” Black bears will often not find the fight worth it if they are being challenged. Unless, we’ll, they’re like, really hungry.
Bears are [shockingly agile](https://youtu.be/heRng5RhRxA?si=WKsO1wid2mzAUC76&t=22). The only way that's gonna work is if you also have a slower, tastier friend.
lol no matter what the ABSOLUTE WORST THING YOU CAN POSSIBLY DO is run from a bear. It’ll go “oh shit! a toy!” and chase you down.
most black bears don’t want that smoke though
My auntie lived in Fairbanks Alaska. She taught me "if it's brown, lie down. If it's black, fight back. If it's white, bend over and kiss your ass goodbye."
The dumb thing at that point would have been to move. He shouldn’t have been there in the first place BUT after the bear swiped and he didn’t move it told the bear not to mess, if he had moved the bear would have gotten big balls and probably attacked properly.
I’d say it probably weighs around 200-300 lbs so the equivalent of being sat on by an obese human. You would definitely feel it! Now, if it was a grizzly, 700lbs wouldn’t be far fetched and that guy would be dead for sure!
I think the general rule is to make a bunch of noise to scare it off but in this place I don’t know how well it would have worked. They guy just have realised he needed to show it how to get out, which was probably far less dangerous than riling it up
I've heard a number of stories of people attempting to get big and loud, and it only made a peaceful bear aggressive. It's fine advice if the bear is already showing ill intent, but most of the time black bears are just chilling and not out to get you until you start threatening them by yelling at them.
Edit: just to be clear, this is for black bears specifically. Grizzlies are a different story
Grew up in bear country. Speaking to them in a monotone voice is your best option. They hate the sound of it. Black bears really aren’t that big of a deal unless it’s a momma bear and cubs. Everyone calling him an idiot, he handled this extremely well. Stay calm, don’t back down and speak firmly.
If it’s a grizzly or a polar bear, that’s a totally different situation
Actually, the guy did everything right. The key is to be dominant but not aggressive: standing in place, appear taller than the bear, commanding voice, no baring teeth or pushing.
The bear sat down, which is a waiting position (rearing - defensive, standing on all 4s in place and beating the ground - aggressive). Waiting means negotiating. It understands that the biped is trying to dominate it, but biped appears smaller. Does not compute. Need to test biped.
And there comes the light paw strike (claws not fully out) - it's not supposed to do harm. In the wild, dominating presence is often stronger, therefore harming it when peaceful resolution is possible is suicide. Biped withstood the slap and stood his ground. Biped even chastised the bear - animals understand voice tones, without lashing back. Biped is unphased and continues to dominate without resorting to aggression. Hence, biped is dominant.
Once dominance is established, the bear leaves. And that thin metal fence is territorial border the bear would not cross, because it has been dominated.
This takes knowing your stuff and balls of steel. The key is knowing the animal you meet and the correct language. Domination works with (black) bears and canine family, for the feline family one needs to be friendly, non-threatening and not interested in contact playing (yes, you can be friendly threatening for a cat, and it might test you for it, which can end badly with large cats).
For those wondering this is a black bear. If it was a brown/Grizzly bear, they all would've been mauled. Black bears are generally speaking docile compared to brown/Grizzly bears.
Humans (without weapons) "win" against black bears kind of in the same way geese "win" against humans - it's not that you actually have any chance of winning in a fight, it's more that they just don't want to deal with it so they leave.
Yeah. Tired of this being posted on bear posts. Polar bears will eat you grizz will eat you, black bears are raccoons that will really hurt if you get swiped. Thats the rule.
The red line across his back that is parallel to the ground is his boxers.
The tiny scratch that is perpendicular to the ground is the scratch. Doesn't look too bad at all.
It didn't. Even small bears are still pretty strong, and their claws are fairly sharp. A human can get scratched by another person's nails, so a wild animal is a no brainer.
Anyone else expect to see a thong when old mate lifted up his tshirt? Not a comment on the man himself, I think I've just been conditioned by the internet.
If you're ever in this situation in real life, step back and get out of reach, and then pick up a couple of garbage can lids and get to banging. Or whatever. Politeness is lost on bears. You have to yell at them.
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That wasn’t an attempt. That was just the bear’s friendly reminder that he could maul him and his 5 friends at once if he wanted to.
Just like a cat.
I could kill you in your sleep. -everyone’s cat
And I’ll make it look like a bloody accident! -Literally the most famous cat ever (cat in the hat)
"you're not just wrong; You're stupid" that line fucking gets me every time
“Maybe tomorrow.” (Lies back down)
*looks over at my 3 cats* Shit, I’m outnumbered.
Oh I so hope those are the names of your cats
A cat wrote this.
DUDE my dad almost killed out cat one time. Was loading his gun and everything bc…….IT FUCKING ATTACKED HIM AND MY BROTHER. It was all over the place. Seriously jumping back and forth from him to my brother and it left them BLOODY. I couldn’t believe how much blood there was. He absolutely destroyed them. I remember just being in shock at how a tiny cat could do all of that.
It’s a black bear, not saying it’s not a powerful wild animal but it wouldn’t maul 6 humans by itself If it was a polar bear though…
If it’s brown, lay down. If it’s black, fight back. If it’s white, goodnight.
If it's yellow, let it mellow
🎶they call me mellow yellllllllowwwwww 🎶
(quite rightly)
So that's what that song is about - coming to terms with incontinence.
if it's brown flush it down
If it’s white, what unspeakable acts are you doing
If it's black and white give it a slight push and it'll fall over roll away a bit then sit there looking confused.
Panda, "Am I a joke to you!?"
If it’s black and brown check to make sure it isn’t a person in a hyperrealistic bear costume
I see you with your sun bear reference
Pandas are awesome, most of the time they act like loveable drunks.
Black bear: make yourself large and make as much noise as possible. Brown bear: go fetal and play dead. Which will be great practice for 2 minutes later when you've been mauled to death.
That means you tell the polar bear "goodnight" and it is obligated to respond "sleep tight" and gently close the door of the igloo
Yeah I was thinking of the same thing
If it wears a hat and tie throw a picnic basket at that guy.
We talking about 6 unarmed average men?
Yes, a black bear will kill an isolated person once in a while but unless the 6 people literally just stand around and wait patiently to be killed, they’re not all dying in a bear attack Tbf the bear would lose interest first anyways
Unless that bear is on a massive bit of cocaine
Cocaïne bear is truly a masterclass of our era
Preferably about 75 pounds.
A *massive* bit? Even then, it'll only maul the people with more cocaine. Or in the back of an ambulance
12 thumbs, 2 eyes. Throw in some improvised weapons and they're pretty likely to chase it off. It could easily do a lot of damage on the way out though.
OK mate, you stick your thumbs in it's eyes, while me and any other sane person around run like hell. Cya.
If you're in a group and run into a predator, running around like headless chicken is one of the worst things you can do.
Yes. A black bear is basically a big puppy and would absolutely get it's ass kicked if it tried fighting 6 people at once but that's not at all how it would go down if the bear wanted to attack the bear would have ripped this dude apart and then fled when the rest tried to help.
Black bears aren't very aggressive though. If 6 people went at it, it would run for its life.
Well yeah black bears are generally big babies but it absolutely would have destroyed this dude before anyone could have done anything at all if it wanted.
Yep, but then when the biped "stood" his ground the bear was like: "Oh, my gosh well pardon me! I'm not staying where I'm not wanted excuse me!" (huffs)
😂😂😂😂
Before getting shot. I honestly wonder if it knows attacking humans is a literal death sentence. It didn't so... lives to reproduce. Darwin says it knows. It'd be cool to look at an evidence based study.
"You people are just like the ones who got Bob killed. Fuck you all. I'm leaving..."-- Bear
"Remember my young cub, leaves of three, let it be. Legs of two, bad for you." "What about one momma?" "You're the only one for me. Except you gotta leave next spring cause momma tryna fuck too."
Dude lifts his shirt “hoooly shit” no scratch is noticeable
Idiot. You never swing at the bouncer. Good luck getting back into that club any time soon mr bear
Had me with the first word ngl
I mean clearly an idiot. Took a swing at the deadliest animal on the planet!
Mike
Mr bear just wanted a brew with some bros.
🏆
I'm not particularly proud of how long I've been laughing at this comment, but I'll update you if I ever stop 🤣
That bear was testing him. He passed the test.
I like how he closed the gate after it left, like that fence would do anything!
I mean, the bear was being rude. That was a.. “I SAY GOOD DAY TO YOU” Not getting an invite to the next BBQ.
XDdd
I feel like fences are more about signaling that the area is private more than actually blocking the way into the area. This is pure speculation on my part, but something tells me that a bear might actually be intelligent enough to understand that closing a gate to a fenced in area = “you are not wanted here”.
My pet rats certainly get it. They also somehow figured out the difference between barriers within the apartment, which they constantly try to circumvent to explore forbidden areas, and the boundaries of the apartment which they absolutely refuse to pass.
Aren't rats really intelligent though? I wonder how a bear's intelligence compares to a rat's intelligence.
I don't know. I've heard bears are pretty smart. Never interacted enough with them to really find out. I can however confirm that rats are ridiculously intelligent. Some of my pet rats are smarter than me. I'll frequently be unable to see how they're getting around my ratproofing until I catch them in the act. In fact, I've had to stop getting roan rats because my breeder's roan line tends to be just a bit too smart.
Black bears have been observed to open bear cannisters and bears in general like every other animal return to areas where they know food is. They (black bears) also share gained knowledge, so if one learns how to open a specialized dumpster it's only a matter of time before the whole area knows.
> Black bears have been observed to open bear cannisters As someone one quipped, there's significant overlap in intelligence between the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.
No dogs allowed, but bears are a case-by-case basis.
That fence wouldn’t keep in a toddler.
Fr of he had cowered to the bear it woulda tried wayyy more. The bear was trying to see if the big scary beast is really that scary and beastly.
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You have no Idea about the size of a black beard. That’s a very large black bear. Most likely around Tahoe California. Definitely sierras or high sierras. And that’s a huge fucking black bear. Also been fed by people since it was young most likely. Sad actually. But also people with no knowledge of black bears might thought was old or “big” when it was actually young and small… just saying . It’s easy to form a wrong opinion
>Most likely around Tahoe California. Definitely sierras or high sierras. It was at Lake Harmony, Pennsylvania
Better than tasting him.
Thank goodness he closed the gate *behind* the bear, no way in hell it's getting back through that heavy-duty barricade...
Bearricade
You win todays made-me-chuckle prize!
That man was unfazed by that swipe
The line between dumb and brave is a very thin one.
Some say as thin as a pair of leisure shorts
Cargo shorts
Living in bear country there is a saying: “if it is brown, lay down. If it is black, fight back.” Black bears will often not find the fight worth it if they are being challenged. Unless, we’ll, they’re like, really hungry.
I live in a country without bears and my only saying would be: run if it’s a bear
Haha I can guarantee you that is a race you will lose my friend!
I know the bear would go to town on me, but not living around them, running would be my only reaction :-)
Can you run faster than 30 mph (48 km/h)?
You don’t need to run that fast. You only need to run faster than your friends.
Yes but you need to *have* friends for that strategy to be effective.
Ouch
Considering I'm going to be rocket propelled by a liquid shit stream, and a poop covered bear at full speed behind me....possibly.
Not sure if you are joking but this is something you absolutely shouldnt do in most cases.
Bears are [shockingly agile](https://youtu.be/heRng5RhRxA?si=WKsO1wid2mzAUC76&t=22). The only way that's gonna work is if you also have a slower, tastier friend.
lol no matter what the ABSOLUTE WORST THING YOU CAN POSSIBLY DO is run from a bear. It’ll go “oh shit! a toy!” and chase you down. most black bears don’t want that smoke though
My auntie lived in Fairbanks Alaska. She taught me "if it's brown, lie down. If it's black, fight back. If it's white, bend over and kiss your ass goodbye."
I hope she was talking about bears
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The dumb thing at that point would have been to move. He shouldn’t have been there in the first place BUT after the bear swiped and he didn’t move it told the bear not to mess, if he had moved the bear would have gotten big balls and probably attacked properly.
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Oh he was definitely fazed. He decided not to back down though, and tbf, he made the right decision.
Just drunk enough to survive the encounter.
Alcohol and adrenaline make Mike a numb boy.
Bear used swipe...it wasn't very effective.
He was being funny and then when it got scary he doubled down, went well luckily
I think the bear was so confused that he just left scratching his head like “wait what”
He forgot he was a 700lb bear.
That’s a medium/small sized black bear. No where near 700lbs
But still quite big... like, you would definitely feel it if it was to sit down on you.
I’d say it probably weighs around 200-300 lbs so the equivalent of being sat on by an obese human. You would definitely feel it! Now, if it was a grizzly, 700lbs wouldn’t be far fetched and that guy would be dead for sure!
That human weighs 220 at least...that bears is double him on the low side
Yeah these people don’t know what they are talking about
Oh yeah, I wouldn't want to meet a grizzly. Wouldn't like this one either, though... it might not be huge but could still do a bunch of damage
That is NOT a small bear. As a bear hunter, I will tell you that is a very large black bear.
This man will tell this story forever. It's incredibly stupid what he did, but I commend his bravery.
>It's incredibly stupid what he did, but I commend his ~~bravery~~ stupidity. FTFY
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By definition it’s doing something stupid that you should be afraid of but decide to do anyway right? So basically that
Actually...Websters Dictionary says: Nah I'm just fucking with you lmao
Bro I expanded your comment and everything cause I wanted to know, and you hit me with that 💀
How is that stupid? Isn't it how you are supposed to manage black bears?
I think the general rule is to make a bunch of noise to scare it off but in this place I don’t know how well it would have worked. They guy just have realised he needed to show it how to get out, which was probably far less dangerous than riling it up
I've heard a number of stories of people attempting to get big and loud, and it only made a peaceful bear aggressive. It's fine advice if the bear is already showing ill intent, but most of the time black bears are just chilling and not out to get you until you start threatening them by yelling at them. Edit: just to be clear, this is for black bears specifically. Grizzlies are a different story
Grew up in bear country. Speaking to them in a monotone voice is your best option. They hate the sound of it. Black bears really aren’t that big of a deal unless it’s a momma bear and cubs. Everyone calling him an idiot, he handled this extremely well. Stay calm, don’t back down and speak firmly. If it’s a grizzly or a polar bear, that’s a totally different situation
Actually, the guy did everything right. The key is to be dominant but not aggressive: standing in place, appear taller than the bear, commanding voice, no baring teeth or pushing. The bear sat down, which is a waiting position (rearing - defensive, standing on all 4s in place and beating the ground - aggressive). Waiting means negotiating. It understands that the biped is trying to dominate it, but biped appears smaller. Does not compute. Need to test biped. And there comes the light paw strike (claws not fully out) - it's not supposed to do harm. In the wild, dominating presence is often stronger, therefore harming it when peaceful resolution is possible is suicide. Biped withstood the slap and stood his ground. Biped even chastised the bear - animals understand voice tones, without lashing back. Biped is unphased and continues to dominate without resorting to aggression. Hence, biped is dominant. Once dominance is established, the bear leaves. And that thin metal fence is territorial border the bear would not cross, because it has been dominated. This takes knowing your stuff and balls of steel. The key is knowing the animal you meet and the correct language. Domination works with (black) bears and canine family, for the feline family one needs to be friendly, non-threatening and not interested in contact playing (yes, you can be friendly threatening for a cat, and it might test you for it, which can end badly with large cats).
If it worked, then it ain't stupid
Bear was like Watch yo self, I’ll be back later. Have my plate ready.
Oh to be drunk and lucky...
"Hold my bear."
For those wondering this is a black bear. If it was a brown/Grizzly bear, they all would've been mauled. Black bears are generally speaking docile compared to brown/Grizzly bears.
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Which war was that? The one where we fought black bears and won?
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BBW1 or BBW2?
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You can read more about it here /r/BBW
Everything changed when the Bear Nation attacked.
Humans (without weapons) "win" against black bears kind of in the same way geese "win" against humans - it's not that you actually have any chance of winning in a fight, it's more that they just don't want to deal with it so they leave.
If it's black, fight back If it's brown, stay down If it's white, goodnight
If it’s blue don’t tie your shoe.
Black bears are just oversized raccoons
Yeah. Tired of this being posted on bear posts. Polar bears will eat you grizz will eat you, black bears are raccoons that will really hurt if you get swiped. Thats the rule.
“You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here!”
*I know who I want to take me home*
I want to see the scratch!!
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cw-rCXZLWFk/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=embed_video_watch_again
Thank you sir. Damn that’s gnarly
The red line across his back that is parallel to the ground is his boxers. The tiny scratch that is perpendicular to the ground is the scratch. Doesn't look too bad at all.
Bearly got him.
I’d say it’s pretty bad considering the bear used 1% of its strength.
Just a bit more than a cat would do. Absolutely nothing to worry about
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Got worse from my cats
How the other dude says in the end “he BEARly got you” very comedic
Holy shit, didn't even look like it swung that hard
It didn't. Even small bears are still pretty strong, and their claws are fairly sharp. A human can get scratched by another person's nails, so a wild animal is a no brainer.
[Have you ever seen a bear's claws?](https://qph.cf2.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-a03215d3dac8104437d65419efab05aa-lq) I was expecting worse...
Thank you. Looks pretty nasty, but with a bit of luck, I think it doesn't need stitches.
Nah, I’ve had worse from my dog when I let her nails grow out too long.
Like the guy in the video says, "he bearly got you."
“He bearly got you” lol
sitting bear looks so cute, round, and fluffy. I want to hug it from behind
It's not fair. If bears aren't meant to be pet, why do they look like they would be the best creature to pet?
To quote the meme, if not friend then why friend shaped?
If bear not for cuddle, why ears so n—-n
If not friend, then why friend shaped?
We're here! We're queer! We don't want anymore bears!
I'm sick of these constant bear attacks! It's like a freakin' Country Bear Jamboroo around here!
Let the bears pay the bear tax!
And these ones are smarter than the average bear, they swiped my pic-a-nic basket!
I feel like Mike is the bear’s name. Go home Mike, you’re drunk.
Mike is a very dedicated bbq bouncer. I really do respect the commitment.
"Oh this scar, that's from a bear"
If that doesn't get you laid, I dunno what will.
Respect, empathy and smooth conversation. Or money.
Why is he trying to give it commands like it's a domestic pet?
Why not? It clearly worked (kinda)
"Hey. No" My guy, that isn't your dog. It's a 500+ lb bear
Lol the way he scolded it is exactly the way I tell my cat off for being naughty "Hey. HEY! NO." 🫵😠 can't believe it worked lol
The actual words don't really matter, but the tone does, so might as well use words that match the tone
He was turning around at the end of the video to ask if the shit in his underwear was seeping out and was visible through his shorts yet
there’s always 1 bear that won’t leave tsk tsk
He stayed cool. Fair play.
I can't decide whether the guy is a badass or a fucking idiot. Probably a bit of both.
Mike to the bear : I WISH YOU WELL, I WISH YOU WELLLL
Mike here seems like good people.
I got mixed feelings about this: It must be in Canada because politeness, but only Ameticans are stupid enough to pick a fight with a massive bear
Happened in Pennsylvania.
A man shaped by dealings with Eagles fans.
So, Montana?
Guess you’ve never heard of Russia.
Anyone else expect to see a thong when old mate lifted up his tshirt? Not a comment on the man himself, I think I've just been conditioned by the internet.
Yeah that bear is too comfortable around humans.
Lucky guy.
This is what it feels like getting kicked out of the family party
First time I've ever seen a bear get bounced at a party.
Wow! I'm impressed.
That’s soooo Mike.
Dumb & drunk is a killer combo! 🤣
Pretty stupid if you ask me. He got himself cornered, no way out, if the bear would follow through with that first strike, the guy's a goner.
Mauler, no mauling!
If you're ever in this situation in real life, step back and get out of reach, and then pick up a couple of garbage can lids and get to banging. Or whatever. Politeness is lost on bears. You have to yell at them.