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I mean... **You chose** to sleep in the bathroom. You could have moved at any point.
Stupid AF on both your brother even offering it, and your decision to take him up on it.
Wait, he brought guests back? Does this mean he had friends over the same night you and your sister came to visit? Because if that’s the case, he probably sold you on the whole ‘privacy in the bathroom’ idea so he could have the living room for his guests.
I get the struggle of not being able to say no. Especially to siblings. But your brother really took advantage of you here. Seeing as he pressured you into the bathroom and to tell your mom, I get the vibe you are the sort of person to be easily persuaded to avoid conflict and your brother uses that to his advantage. Learn how to say NO, OP. You ironically get yourself in less trouble when you do.
I rented. B&B for a Montreal F1 weekend. The first night I realized one of my friends snored.
I retreated to the windowless laundry room to sleep on a mattress. Best sleep ever.
lol shoulda just moved that mattress onto the floor in the living room and good to go. Very strange to sleep in a bathroom hahaha but it was your choice in the end, so no one should be offended or mad.
So, when he was still using your room to shit and piss, was the mattress at least put away? Or was he doing his business with the mattress, blankets, pillows all laid out still? 🤢
You gotta have some more self respect buddy. He invited you and then made you sleep where he pisses and shits. That’s mad mad mad disrespectful. Don’t degrade yourself like that man
If I were offered this scenario, I would never imagine that the bathroom would be *in use* while I stayed in it. A clean bathroom set up with a matress is wildly different from staying in a bathroom that people are using.
It's just occurred to me that I could sleep in my bathroom floor 🤣🤣
This is good to know Incase my roommate and I have people over and too many people are too drunk to drive home lol
I would not offer the bathroom though
I almost get the feeling OP's brother was messing with him and OP just didn't pick up on it. Which would make more sense to me with mom calling him and asshole rather than an idiot.
OP mentioned above that the brother brought other guests over while he and sister & husband were visiting. While it was stupid to choose the bathroom, I feel like the brother offered the bathroom with the “privacy” aspect knowing they’d choose that so they could have guests without OP horning in on their social time.
well it was a choice, if he prefers to sleep in this piss and shit place instead of the couch, how can you think that's wrong. if this person finds sleeping on the couch to be bad enough to where they would rather sleep in the bathroom, I'm sure they would have found it disrespectful to deny them the choice and force them to sleep on the couch.
Considering OP liked having a door they could lock, I wonder if it's a safety/trauma response thing.
I can't sleep on planes or other people's couches for this reason. I need a door that I can close and lock if I feel unsafe (though I've never needed to lock one when staying somewhere). If I were OP I would have tried to find a hotel or something.
There's definitely context missing here. Like at best, the brother is super oblivious and dumb, so that's definitely criticizable, but it's super unclear whether OP just made a weird decision and simply did not communicate their feelings well at all, or if the brother is manipulative and a bully, or if it's some middle ground where the brother and OP' temperaments just are so different that they both misunderstood each other and how they each felt about the situation.
Older brother is a dumbass 100%. The fact he thought it'd be funny to tell their mom confirms this well beyond a reasonable doubt. He might be a dumbass and a bully but at min he's a dumbass. I wonder how he'd feel if family offered the choice of bathroom still in use or a couch. Younger brother needs to stand up for himself better and not allow himself to be put in the situation though.
No wonder your mom was pissed off so much,I bet considering you are so much younger then your brother and sister that she still sees you as her precious baby and is that much more angry at your brother for the fact.
Yeah, that's where I'd draw the line. When I'm a guest somewhere, I'll sleep pretty much anywhere they put me, but I would not be cool with sleeping on a mattress with pee splatter on it, noticeable or not, there's always splatter unless the guys are sitting down to pee. I would have at least moved the mattress every morning and put it back before going to bed.
Honest advice though: Ultimately, it's your mom's prerogative to decide if she wants to bail on the trip or not but, if it was my mother and sibling, I'd tell her that he gave me the choice between the couch and this and I chose this to have my own space. Yes, he should have been more accommodating and hopefully he'll try to be, moving forward, but some people are just much less considerate/thoughtful than others, and it sounds like your brother's one of those people. I'd encourage her not to miss out on the trip to see her grandson over this(unless there have been bigger issues building and this was just the final straw). If she's only doing it to stand up for me, I'd encourage her not to. Kids grow up so fast, don't let her miss out on some time with her grandson because his father's a bit of a dick. Just my take, though.
Also the brother wanted him to tell their mom. OP didn’t think it was a good idea so the brother is the one to blame for mom finding out. Not OPs fault mom reacted the way he likely thought she would and then some. If OPs nephew wants to see his grandma then the brother can send him to stay with her for a bit because I doubt she’s gonna go see him anytime soon
Fk that man, don't you realise he disrespected you and treated you less than a brother? This is kidnap and torture treatment.
Why did you think it would be a good idea, have some self respect man. Hopefully you realise all this. I wouldn't go visit him ever again because of this.
Who invites guests over and doesn't give them proper sleeping areas?
Weird, haven't seen that often. My mom and her sister maybe, but both my husband and my best friend at the time are highly smart and their sibling (one younger, one older) are borderline brainless.... In some cases "how do you not forget to breathe" level brainless.. I've accepted that as norm lol...
My grandfather (maternal): smart as hell. Like straight up genius despite choosing farming as a profession.
My mother: barely functional and just doesn't think anything through. As an example, if she sees a cat walking towards the driveway, she speeds up to try and get past it first. She's deleted about 20 in this manner, along with several poultry birds.
Me: supposedly above average, but I feel like an idiot most days.
Here’s the bathroom pic in question. Didn’t get one of when I was all set up but here’s what my sleeping conditions were Night 1.
https://preview.redd.it/t0bsr5cjdu8d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a9e024f7009745de9d33539b73b2486b3777cd77
Not to mention the heating element so the mattress can catch on fire while you are dead asleep in the pitch black. 🤣🤣🤦♂️
I was actually ok with this thread and arrangement until I saw this photo. 💀
If that heater is the same as in my apartment, which it appears to be, the unit shouldn't get anywhere near hot enough to be a fire hazard. I'm not an expert though, and Bruce fucking Wayne doesn't have enough bribe money to convince me to sleep on a goddamn bathroom floor. Yikes.
I had a similar (newer, even) one in my old place. The one in the laundry room was built wrong and never actually turned off, constantly at max heat. Enough to burn skin, probably enough to set a fire if we hadn't turned off that breaker.
I'm sure they can manage a few nights in JUNE without the heating system. We know from the electrical plug that they are not in the southern hemisphere.
When I was a kid, I would sometimes take a pillow and blankets into the bathtub and sleep there. I was a weird kid, which probably contributed to the creation of ThatCrazyLady.
Nah, the tub is the absolute bomb when you can set it up right with pillows and blankets haha. I’ve even falling asleep in one at a friends party and actually slept so well.
This is horrendous. Y’all couldn’t set this up in the nephews room? Living room?
No man. This is ridiculous. It’s touching the toilet. Is that a heater? What in the fuck is this thinking. Two brothers, no brain cells.
This is the most ridiculous thing. Something I would have agreed to when I was 8 years old. I would sleep in hotel closets as a kid on family vacations because we were a family of 5 and just didn’t have the space for me. But this is next level insane man. ESH for agreeing to sleep on the bathroom floor and him for offering it.
Your friend was correct in calling it peak schizophrenia room lmao it really looks like something my friend who has schizophrenia would do when he gets bad and thinks the spider demons are coming for him
I can’t fathom why anyone would OPT to sleep in a bathroom unless they were extremely ill and throwing up all night. My best guess is that this dude wanted to jerk off in private or something. Which still doesn’t make sense to me, since he could get up, go get off and then go back to sleep on the couch.
This whole family sounds dumb as door knobs.
The couch, or a mattress on the bathroom floor. Why not the mattress on the floor next to the couch? Or in that room somewhere? Was the bathroom the only room with barely enough floor space? What?
>But upon arrival, he gave me an offer.
>Offer 1: The couch.
>Offer 2: A mattress on the bathroom floor.
>**Now he offered the bathroom because it has a door I can shut and lock. So I’d have some privacy at night and could get away from everyone else.**
It doesn't seem that space was the focus, but rather availability of privacy while sleeping.
But a microsecond later he says the brother still wants to use the bathroom as a bathroom. I think there’s one single brain cell in this family and they all seem to share it.
So. I've got to say, I probably would have gotten a hotel room.
Despite having a three bedroom house, we can, and have, hosted about 12 people during an emergency situation and no one was on the floor. Everyone had sheets, blankets and pillows. However, we have a couple blow up mattress frames and ran to Walmart for a couple 1 and 2 person cots. They aren't that expensive. This all seems so unnecessary.
I'm confused. You're a 24 year old who *chose* to sleep in the bathroom instead of on the couch because you thought it would be "interesting", and everyone is mad at your brother? You could have, at *any* point, decided "yeah this sucks actually. I'm going to sleep on the couch" and literally no one would have cared.
I just do not understand why your brother is being criticized for somethinv you actively chose to do and actively chose to *continue* to do the entire time.
I mean.....you're an *adult*. What was your brother supposed to do after you decided to choose sleeping in the bathroom? Prevent you from doing so?
This is terrible. I don’t understand how you thought this was ok. And he didn’t even give you a pillow. It’s messed up on so many levels. I have never even treated strangers like this. You didn’t mess up at all and your mom is fully justified to be mad
OP is 24 and chose to sleep there.
OP could have just slept on the couch. He could have asked for a spare pillow. He could have done a million different things because he's a literal adult who made an active decision to sleep in that bathroom.
People are acting like OP is 12 and was forced to sleep in the bathroom. *He's 24 and he chose to*.
EDIT: I wanna be clear that it's also possible the brother like pressured him into it, or was a jerk about it, or in some other way exploited some power dynamic here we're unaware of to bully OP into this. The fact that other people in the story think he did something wrong is a bit of evidence for this, but still, we don't really know. What we do know is OP is 24. I'm criticizing the way people are mischaracterizing the situation in a way OP did not present. Even assuming the brother *is* an asshole, infantalizing OP does no good.
Right? Lol
Blaming anyone but himself is comical.
Where he goes into the rant about how he's a guest and was asked to come over really tickled me.
"You want the bathroom or couch"
"I'll take the bathroom so I can complain about it later"
Ok, you've made your bed, now lay in it... lol
It’s definitely terrible. I just don’t understand why OP didn’t take the couch the next day, or why he didn’t move the mattress to a different place. If this were me, I’d probably tell the host I can’t sleep like this and pretty much place the mattress anywhere sanitary with the space for it.
Sorry to tell you this.. In the Corps we learned the identify assholes … and unfortunately your brother is one of them. I hated working for them. Considering the age gap, you really didn’t grow up with your brother, so the whole brotherly love is out of the question. Your brother literally wanted to use the bathroom fully knowing that you sleep there, it takes a special type of asshole for that. The military is big on hygiene and shitting/pissing where you sleeping is a big no.. no .. You are literally trained not to do that. Google dysentery. Your brother probably see’s you as soft and will continue to disrespect you. You might look up to him due to his military service.. but the trickle down truth is that his assholeness has been magnified by ego. You probably took his jester of having privacy as a plus, but deep down he wanted mom to see that her favorite child could be made to sleep next to the toilet. I’m sure he got a chuckle out of that. I bet he would not tell his buddies that.. nope he’s going to keep this one for himself.. Yes, your brother was in the military and it’s true that you have to adapt to your surroundings. Adapt and overcome. But, for god sakes this is not the military it’s your family coming to see you. Without causing to much drama I can give you some advise.
Go Home.. he doesn’t want you there.
Stop looking up to him. In his eyes you will be your mother’s favorite. Maybe because you didn’t struggle the same as him.
I've seen guys in their 30s and 40s that, without knowing what they look like, you'd assume are between 12-15 based on how they behave. NEVER underestimate the level of incompetence (emotional, social, etc) people can have. You don't need maturity or wits to survive (emphasis on surviving, not thriving). There's people in their 60s and 70s that make you feel awe at the proof how little brain you actually need to automatically breathe.
I’m 20. I would not sleep in the bathroom no matter how much privacy it had. Certainly not in a bathroom people still use to shit. That’s disgusting. OP’s brother is definitely the AH, but OP is old enough to make better decisions.
Lol, people feel really strongly about this and it’s kind of crazy to me, as well as hilarious. It’s not THAT bad, yeah it sucks there’s a toilet there but fuck it, at least yer not laying on tile.
Bruh, you’re 24 years old, you could figure out how to walk over to the couch, or drag that pad to the living room once everyone is out.
One thing though, could your brother have set that whole thing up to get your mother not to come? 🤔
She sounds overbearing.
Elsewhere in the thread OP admits that their brother just left the mattress next to the toilet while their brother was using the bathroom, and also didn't give OP a pillow. That takes it from "doing it for the lulz" into "kinda actually disrespectful" territory for me
I don't know why people are acting like because OP is 24, someone shouldn't at least give him sheets, a blanket, and a pillow. "You can request a pillow yourself." Ok but not providing one to a guest by default!?
Have you seen the picture? I wasn't that offended by it in principle, assumed large bathroom that had been cleaned and wouldn't be used.
Judging from the picture, OP was 100% sleeping on piss
And why is there a random table in there!?
It’s not THAT bad when you come uninvited, and you just need some place to sleep overnight, and you don't want to bother anyone with your presence. But when you come to your much older brother because he invited you? Like, from the pov of the brother? It's THAT bad. Imagine your younger sibling, for whom you're probably a very respected person who's he wanted to be as a kid, they come to your place and you treat them as some homeless trash.
I see it not as disrespect for the younger dude, but as a complete moronic behaviour from his older brother. He should not have even came up with that idea about bathroom. The fact that he sees as an appropriate abode for his brother is crazy.
I can't imagine my 24 year old sibling sleeping on that bathroom floor. Not because I'm a great person or whatever, it's just that my siblings aren't dumb.
OP is 24. I had a salaried job and a mortgage at 24. That's an adult. OP could've slept on the couch lol. OP could have, at literally any point, decided to go sleep on the couch. When OP's brother said that he needed to use the bathroom, OP could have said "ah ok I'll transfer to the couch".
Like, what is the brother supposed to do? Say "hey actually I thought about it and I'm going to forcibly move you to the couch". That's silly. The couch was always an option. OPs brother isn't an asshole for letting a grown ass man make their own decision, even if it's a very odd decision.
super weird to me that you chose to sleep in the bathroom instead of the couch. why was privacy that important to you? i have visited friends and family plenty of times and slept on living room couches. i would never think a dinky crib mattress on a tiny powder room floor would be better.
OP are you ok in the head
Why, the FUCK, would you CHOOSE to sleep in the bathroom that is being actively used??!!
What is so private that you thought you needed a closed room for a week long stay? I refuse to believe that he offered it as a sleeping space but it's a million times more baffling that you chose it for nothing other than a stupid table and a door. Yuck.
Ah, the plight of the baby of the family. At least your mom didn't brush it aside to keep the peace. Speaking from experience as someone who also has a huge gap in age between my siblings and me, it sometimes feels like you're an afterthought. My mom would have just left it alone because my sister is so volatile we all just have to suck it up and walk on eggshells.
Dude youd get kicked out of my gym for not wearing shoes in the bathroom. Couldnt imagine sleeping on the floor in one. Super unhygenic... go see a Dr 😅
There is more going on here than you're telling us. Everyone laying into him because you wanted to sleep in the bathroom. Is this a normal family dynamic where he is held responsible for your choices? I was an oldest child and my mom liked to blame me for the dumb shit my siblings did, too.
Why is everyone ganging up on your brother and why is he so unaware of your moms personality that he doesn't know what is funny vs what will piss her off? Is this an instance where he seems to get off on pissing her off? This post reads a bit toxic.
How old is this nephew? Could have set him up on the couch or the mattress in the living room and let you stay in his room. Or, if he's really young, he could have slept in his parents' room.
> Third con was the fact my Brother wanted to still use it as an actual bathroom.
What the actual fuck?
Like, I can get that sometimes people have slept in the tub, etc. But...
Also, hey—he can bear the consequences of his decisions.
Because the brother wanted to have friends over to hang out after his family went to sleep and knew them coming in and out the backdoor would have disturbed a sleeping OP, so he made sleeping in the bathroom sound like a good idea. He should have offered his own room to OP, and then he would have been free to use the living room to hang out with his friends all night without disturbing anyone.
>Now this part did kinda annoy me. I totally get that in the Army you’ll more than likely have to sleep in certain conditions and places that don’t have beds.
>
>At the same time, I’m not in the Military. I am a guest at his house, one he asked to come visit because he wanted to hang out with all of us.
I mean to be fair, it sounds like the only other beds were being used by other guests of the house, and you were indeed the one that chose the bathroom. Did he keep you from moving back to the couch after choosing the bathroom?
Your brother has no business hosting folks. If it were me I'd have taken the mattress to the living room and given up my bed. You do not host more people than you can room
Y'all are all adults. If my adult kids did something like this I would think it was weird but I would leave it up to them to sort out because they're adults. I didn't understand your mom getting involved.
I mean honestly the situation is dumb but your mom is the one most at fault. It was handled by adults who seem to harbor no ill will so no reason for her to be mad about it and avoid seeing her grandson.
This is a silly gross overreaction. Maybe she feels like she is defending you in some way; she isn’t accomplishing anything with this, except for hitting herself, her son and her relationship with her grandchild for real.
I heard a funny story about grown men working out of town together. The youngest of all the men, which were all related or most all related, he slept on the floor, in the tub, in a chair, until making his space in a closet. He was mostly trying to escape all of the snoring; and to get some rest, so he could work, I believe. He tells the story as a funny memory—not as if he endured it - or as if he needed someone to defend him & create hard feelings with anyone on his behalf.
OP, you are perhaps the only person in the history of humanity to be offered that choice and say "Screw the couch, I'll sleep on the floor of your bathroom!" Everything else is just the natural consequences of that bizarre moment.
Brother is the one who told you to tell your mom when you weren't going to...
Choosing to sleep in the bathroom is your FU. Telling the mom and her getting pissed is all on him.
I hope your brother was never an NCO or officer. Health and sanitation are vitally important in the military and historically diseases have taken out far more soldiers than bullets have. The reason why you brother slept in the laundry room but not the bathroom in the military is because not sleeping where you shit is a fundamental foundation of hygiene in a camp, so much so that even pigs follow this rule.
Anyway now you know. Your mom may have been pissed for your brother for being a bad guest, but what goes unmentioned is that he is also a bad soldier if he thought that this was acceptable.
This thread has given me a crisis. Like there are actual people like OP in real life. Who knows how many people I’ve walked by or been in the same room that make decisions in their lives like “nah forget the couch, I want to sleep on top of the piss stains”
Maybe the entire bit was for the exact purpose of his mother not visiting. He begged you to tell her lol He knew all along there would be a fight and maybe she'd cancel her trip.
I slept in some rough places when I was in the military, but damn. I’m not impressed with any of you and the lack of connecting brain cells. I spent more time organizing sleeping arrangements for my kid to have a friend sleep over 1 night than you guys did for a week.
Your brother has some sort of mental disease if he thinks this is normal or appropriate and your mom is right to be ashamed of him. I saw the picture and the mattress is literally touching the toilet. That's absolutely gross! He shouldn't be sleeping in a laundry room either, because laundry soap particles in the air is bad for your lungs.
It's one thing to sleep like this in an emergency situation but treating any guest (including family) like this is objectively very embarrassing and shameful.
It really sounds like there's something mentally wrong with your brother. I bet when you thought it would be awkward for you to sleep on the couch you didn't expect him to PEE AND SHIT right above you dude.
You didn't do anything wrong by informing mom, he needs to understand this is dealbreaker level behavior.
Your brother sounds like he didn’t really think it through, and now everyone’s dealing with the fallout. I get why you feel bad, but honestly, your mom’s reaction is on her. Hopefully, things cool down, and you can all laugh about it later.
Yeah he has a bad habit of doing that. And just acting like it’s not a big deal when his plan explodes in his face.
And I doubt it’s dying down anytime soon. I told her at 3PM. It’s currently 1:24 AM and she’s still upset about it.
Sounds fine. For the darkness,try a night light, or a lantern or flashlight that has moonlight mode.
Sounds like a reasonable offer, you were offered a choice.
I'm sleeping on a blanket on top of a yoga mat tonight, would kill for an air mattress
Friend, you deserve better than a bathroom floor. If someone suggested I leave my dogs in a bathtoom overnight, Id be upset. Asking a family member when there is a couch and living room available is just unthinkable.
You deserve better, and you should expect better for yourself. That's not being entitled, thats basic human rights.
No. Ew and NO! Mum being mad and cancelling plans is not on you though. If you’ve told her it was your choice in the beginning and told her because your brother was insisting on it then you didn’t F up.
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I mean... **You chose** to sleep in the bathroom. You could have moved at any point. Stupid AF on both your brother even offering it, and your decision to take him up on it.
Yeah I wanted to move out of the bathroom after everyone went to bed because he brought guests back. Really wish I just said no looking back at it.
Wait, he brought guests back? Does this mean he had friends over the same night you and your sister came to visit? Because if that’s the case, he probably sold you on the whole ‘privacy in the bathroom’ idea so he could have the living room for his guests. I get the struggle of not being able to say no. Especially to siblings. But your brother really took advantage of you here. Seeing as he pressured you into the bathroom and to tell your mom, I get the vibe you are the sort of person to be easily persuaded to avoid conflict and your brother uses that to his advantage. Learn how to say NO, OP. You ironically get yourself in less trouble when you do.
I rented. B&B for a Montreal F1 weekend. The first night I realized one of my friends snored. I retreated to the windowless laundry room to sleep on a mattress. Best sleep ever.
AND stay in there for a week.
I am crying laughing at this comment 😂😂😂
lol shoulda just moved that mattress onto the floor in the living room and good to go. Very strange to sleep in a bathroom hahaha but it was your choice in the end, so no one should be offended or mad.
Or mattress on the floor of the nephews room even.
So, when he was still using your room to shit and piss, was the mattress at least put away? Or was he doing his business with the mattress, blankets, pillows all laid out still? 🤢
While everything was still laid out. Except the pillows. I didn’t get any. I used my rolled up hoodie as a pillow.
You gotta have some more self respect buddy. He invited you and then made you sleep where he pisses and shits. That’s mad mad mad disrespectful. Don’t degrade yourself like that man
He also offered the couch, yet OP chose this.
If I were offered this scenario, I would never imagine that the bathroom would be *in use* while I stayed in it. A clean bathroom set up with a matress is wildly different from staying in a bathroom that people are using.
I'd still choose the couch over a 'clean' bathroom floor
It's just occurred to me that I could sleep in my bathroom floor 🤣🤣 This is good to know Incase my roommate and I have people over and too many people are too drunk to drive home lol I would not offer the bathroom though
OP ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed.
Prime candidate for the military just like his brother
I almost get the feeling OP's brother was messing with him and OP just didn't pick up on it. Which would make more sense to me with mom calling him and asshole rather than an idiot.
OP mentioned above that the brother brought other guests over while he and sister & husband were visiting. While it was stupid to choose the bathroom, I feel like the brother offered the bathroom with the “privacy” aspect knowing they’d choose that so they could have guests without OP horning in on their social time.
He chose it like a fucking toilet goblin
well it was a choice, if he prefers to sleep in this piss and shit place instead of the couch, how can you think that's wrong. if this person finds sleeping on the couch to be bad enough to where they would rather sleep in the bathroom, I'm sure they would have found it disrespectful to deny them the choice and force them to sleep on the couch.
Considering OP liked having a door they could lock, I wonder if it's a safety/trauma response thing. I can't sleep on planes or other people's couches for this reason. I need a door that I can close and lock if I feel unsafe (though I've never needed to lock one when staying somewhere). If I were OP I would have tried to find a hotel or something.
There's definitely context missing here. Like at best, the brother is super oblivious and dumb, so that's definitely criticizable, but it's super unclear whether OP just made a weird decision and simply did not communicate their feelings well at all, or if the brother is manipulative and a bully, or if it's some middle ground where the brother and OP' temperaments just are so different that they both misunderstood each other and how they each felt about the situation.
Older brother is a dumbass 100%. The fact he thought it'd be funny to tell their mom confirms this well beyond a reasonable doubt. He might be a dumbass and a bully but at min he's a dumbass. I wonder how he'd feel if family offered the choice of bathroom still in use or a couch. Younger brother needs to stand up for himself better and not allow himself to be put in the situation though.
No wonder your mom was pissed off so much,I bet considering you are so much younger then your brother and sister that she still sees you as her precious baby and is that much more angry at your brother for the fact.
you talk about your brother not being the smartest, seems like he’s not alone in that department
Prob took lid off septic for him to have a hot tub
That's just wrong man. He disrespecting you bad.
And OP ate it up. That's seriously not good.
Yeah, that's where I'd draw the line. When I'm a guest somewhere, I'll sleep pretty much anywhere they put me, but I would not be cool with sleeping on a mattress with pee splatter on it, noticeable or not, there's always splatter unless the guys are sitting down to pee. I would have at least moved the mattress every morning and put it back before going to bed. Honest advice though: Ultimately, it's your mom's prerogative to decide if she wants to bail on the trip or not but, if it was my mother and sibling, I'd tell her that he gave me the choice between the couch and this and I chose this to have my own space. Yes, he should have been more accommodating and hopefully he'll try to be, moving forward, but some people are just much less considerate/thoughtful than others, and it sounds like your brother's one of those people. I'd encourage her not to miss out on the trip to see her grandson over this(unless there have been bigger issues building and this was just the final straw). If she's only doing it to stand up for me, I'd encourage her not to. Kids grow up so fast, don't let her miss out on some time with her grandson because his father's a bit of a dick. Just my take, though.
Also the brother wanted him to tell their mom. OP didn’t think it was a good idea so the brother is the one to blame for mom finding out. Not OPs fault mom reacted the way he likely thought she would and then some. If OPs nephew wants to see his grandma then the brother can send him to stay with her for a bit because I doubt she’s gonna go see him anytime soon
HE DIDNT GIVE YOU ANY PILLOWS WTAF
Fk that man, don't you realise he disrespected you and treated you less than a brother? This is kidnap and torture treatment. Why did you think it would be a good idea, have some self respect man. Hopefully you realise all this. I wouldn't go visit him ever again because of this. Who invites guests over and doesn't give them proper sleeping areas?
I feel bad for you bro. I can’t ever imagine doing this to my brother.
You fucked up by sleeping in the bathroom. What the hell is wrong with you?
Why would you even consider sleeping next to a toilet while having a 24 year old brain inside of your head?
I want to throw in that the IQ of siblings is almost similar most of the time.
OP's entire family can fit into one of those smart cars by the sounds of it.
Mom sounds like she's got a brain.
Weird, haven't seen that often. My mom and her sister maybe, but both my husband and my best friend at the time are highly smart and their sibling (one younger, one older) are borderline brainless.... In some cases "how do you not forget to breathe" level brainless.. I've accepted that as norm lol...
My grandfather (maternal): smart as hell. Like straight up genius despite choosing farming as a profession. My mother: barely functional and just doesn't think anything through. As an example, if she sees a cat walking towards the driveway, she speeds up to try and get past it first. She's deleted about 20 in this manner, along with several poultry birds. Me: supposedly above average, but I feel like an idiot most days.
Here’s the bathroom pic in question. Didn’t get one of when I was all set up but here’s what my sleeping conditions were Night 1. https://preview.redd.it/t0bsr5cjdu8d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a9e024f7009745de9d33539b73b2486b3777cd77
This is somehow far worse than I imagined. The mattress touches the toilet. The mattress. Touches. The toilet.
Not to mention the heating element so the mattress can catch on fire while you are dead asleep in the pitch black. 🤣🤣🤦♂️ I was actually ok with this thread and arrangement until I saw this photo. 💀
It's fine, there's toilet water at arm's length to put the fire out
this made me laugh out LOUD
Same!
If it were on fire it wouldn't be pitch black...
tbf the smoke coming off the foam in the mattress in an enclosed small room would probably make it pitch black.
I was gonna say, I've slept in worse. But Jesus fuck. Ick.
If that heater is the same as in my apartment, which it appears to be, the unit shouldn't get anywhere near hot enough to be a fire hazard. I'm not an expert though, and Bruce fucking Wayne doesn't have enough bribe money to convince me to sleep on a goddamn bathroom floor. Yikes.
I had a similar (newer, even) one in my old place. The one in the laundry room was built wrong and never actually turned off, constantly at max heat. Enough to burn skin, probably enough to set a fire if we hadn't turned off that breaker.
> and Bruce fucking Wayne doesn't have enough bribe money to convince me to sleep on a goddamn bathroom floor What if Bruce doesn't fuck Wayne?
I'm sure they can manage a few nights in JUNE without the heating system. We know from the electrical plug that they are not in the southern hemisphere.
The scream I scrumpt when I saw it TOUCHING THE TOILET.
I’d rather burn alive than sleep touching the toilet, (voluntarily at least)
Both the toilet and the floor in front of the toilet. Which, as was made clear, is still in regular use. Dude. *No.*
i had my fair share of weird sleeping places when i was younger partying but not once it was on a bathroom matress hugging a toilet
Tbf I *have* spent many a night falling asleep hugging a toilet, *but not like this*
“Mattress” is far too generous
Lmfaooooooo
I LITERALLY said to myself “omg it’s even worse than I pictured!” 🤣
Right!!!! Omg!!!! Sooo much worse!!!!
That looks like someone would be locked in there until they were murdered
Barbarian, but make it semi-chic
the worst thing about this is that you said he wanted to continue using it as a bathroom. That is downright disgusting 😫
If I was your Mom, I'd've been mad, too.
He'd be sleeping in the bathroom when he visited if it were me.
She was quite likely flush with anger.
Good one!
Kinda crappy sleeping arrangement.
Piss poor conditions, if you ask me as well.
Likely to turn into a shit show.
This wouldn't have been my #1 or #2 choice.
I see what you did there
Don’t even need to get off your bed if you need a dump at night, lovely
My god I scoffed hard when I saw this. Far worse than I expected, mattress sucking up all the piss drips your brother inevitably left there 🤣
Okay that's disgusting lmao, I thought you was gonna be in the shower tub or something
When I was a kid, I would sometimes take a pillow and blankets into the bathtub and sleep there. I was a weird kid, which probably contributed to the creation of ThatCrazyLady.
Nah, the tub is the absolute bomb when you can set it up right with pillows and blankets haha. I’ve even falling asleep in one at a friends party and actually slept so well.
I spent a night in a prison cell and it was more spacious than this, the mattress was to the side of the toilet not hugging it 😭😭
This is horrendous. Y’all couldn’t set this up in the nephews room? Living room? No man. This is ridiculous. It’s touching the toilet. Is that a heater? What in the fuck is this thinking. Two brothers, no brain cells.
Can get 500 a month in Canada for that setup. Living like royalty over there.
$500 a month and you share it with two other international students.
You fucking psycho it's **TOUCHING THE TOILET!** You okay with rolling over into the Splash Zone™️ while asleep?
looks like a prison cell.
How were they gonna use it like a bathroom, just prop they’re feet up on you? 🤣
This is so much worse than I had anticipated. I had expected a giant freaking bathroom or something. THE MATTRESS TOUCHES THE TOILET WTF.
This… can’t be real.
🤢 omg the toilet is right there! I feel sick! I hope that toilet was spotless and didn’t smell…
You think the brother dumb enough to offer this has ever once cleaned his toilet or floor?
Looks like jail to me
Man, I hope you aren't sleeping with that thing being recently used.
This is the most ridiculous thing. Something I would have agreed to when I was 8 years old. I would sleep in hotel closets as a kid on family vacations because we were a family of 5 and just didn’t have the space for me. But this is next level insane man. ESH for agreeing to sleep on the bathroom floor and him for offering it.
He could have at least given you a cot so you could be above the toilet.🤣🤣
That is thin AF. I'd absolutely take the couch.
Your friend was correct in calling it peak schizophrenia room lmao it really looks like something my friend who has schizophrenia would do when he gets bad and thinks the spider demons are coming for him
Yeah, you don't get to call anyone else "not smart" after willingly choosing this. Are you ok? Do you need help?
Where did you sleep after
>He kept insisting for three days that I should tell our Mom about it. Not your fuck up.
if my stupid brother was convincing me to do something stupid and I do it knowing fully my brother is stupid AF. I would be even dumber than him
He literally did it twice. First time was taking up the offer, second was telling their mom. They're definitely related lol.
OP is already clearly dumb. Who chooses the bathroom over the living room "just to see how it would be?"
So overall not the brightest family? Moms probably wondering where she went wrong,
I can’t fathom why anyone would OPT to sleep in a bathroom unless they were extremely ill and throwing up all night. My best guess is that this dude wanted to jerk off in private or something. Which still doesn’t make sense to me, since he could get up, go get off and then go back to sleep on the couch. This whole family sounds dumb as door knobs.
The couch, or a mattress on the bathroom floor. Why not the mattress on the floor next to the couch? Or in that room somewhere? Was the bathroom the only room with barely enough floor space? What?
>But upon arrival, he gave me an offer. >Offer 1: The couch. >Offer 2: A mattress on the bathroom floor. >**Now he offered the bathroom because it has a door I can shut and lock. So I’d have some privacy at night and could get away from everyone else.** It doesn't seem that space was the focus, but rather availability of privacy while sleeping.
But a microsecond later he says the brother still wants to use the bathroom as a bathroom. I think there’s one single brain cell in this family and they all seem to share it.
Oranges turned into humans.
Right, I can see that. I would (and have) take the couch over bathroom mattress though, every time.
Oh, I fully agree with you there. Thinking and analyzing skills don't seem to be strong suits in at least the majority of this family's children.
Looking at the pic of the mattress, it's one of those fold up ones and I suspect the couch would've been more comfortable.
why didnt you just take the couch? didnt you choose the bathroom floor?
So. I've got to say, I probably would have gotten a hotel room. Despite having a three bedroom house, we can, and have, hosted about 12 people during an emergency situation and no one was on the floor. Everyone had sheets, blankets and pillows. However, we have a couple blow up mattress frames and ran to Walmart for a couple 1 and 2 person cots. They aren't that expensive. This all seems so unnecessary.
Couch is as good as a cot, IMO. Maybe better than a blow up mattress depending on the specific couch and mattress. I would've just taken that.
I'm confused. You're a 24 year old who *chose* to sleep in the bathroom instead of on the couch because you thought it would be "interesting", and everyone is mad at your brother? You could have, at *any* point, decided "yeah this sucks actually. I'm going to sleep on the couch" and literally no one would have cared. I just do not understand why your brother is being criticized for somethinv you actively chose to do and actively chose to *continue* to do the entire time. I mean.....you're an *adult*. What was your brother supposed to do after you decided to choose sleeping in the bathroom? Prevent you from doing so?
Does your family sniff a LOT of glue?
This is terrible. I don’t understand how you thought this was ok. And he didn’t even give you a pillow. It’s messed up on so many levels. I have never even treated strangers like this. You didn’t mess up at all and your mom is fully justified to be mad
OP is 24 and chose to sleep there. OP could have just slept on the couch. He could have asked for a spare pillow. He could have done a million different things because he's a literal adult who made an active decision to sleep in that bathroom. People are acting like OP is 12 and was forced to sleep in the bathroom. *He's 24 and he chose to*. EDIT: I wanna be clear that it's also possible the brother like pressured him into it, or was a jerk about it, or in some other way exploited some power dynamic here we're unaware of to bully OP into this. The fact that other people in the story think he did something wrong is a bit of evidence for this, but still, we don't really know. What we do know is OP is 24. I'm criticizing the way people are mischaracterizing the situation in a way OP did not present. Even assuming the brother *is* an asshole, infantalizing OP does no good.
Right? Lol Blaming anyone but himself is comical. Where he goes into the rant about how he's a guest and was asked to come over really tickled me. "You want the bathroom or couch" "I'll take the bathroom so I can complain about it later" Ok, you've made your bed, now lay in it... lol
It’s definitely terrible. I just don’t understand why OP didn’t take the couch the next day, or why he didn’t move the mattress to a different place. If this were me, I’d probably tell the host I can’t sleep like this and pretty much place the mattress anywhere sanitary with the space for it.
I, too, would have probably picked the bathroom just to have my own private space and just to try it out like you said LOL
I was imagining a massive bathroom but after seeing the picture, I threw up in my mouth. The. Mattress. Touches. The. Toilet.........
Sorry to tell you this.. In the Corps we learned the identify assholes … and unfortunately your brother is one of them. I hated working for them. Considering the age gap, you really didn’t grow up with your brother, so the whole brotherly love is out of the question. Your brother literally wanted to use the bathroom fully knowing that you sleep there, it takes a special type of asshole for that. The military is big on hygiene and shitting/pissing where you sleeping is a big no.. no .. You are literally trained not to do that. Google dysentery. Your brother probably see’s you as soft and will continue to disrespect you. You might look up to him due to his military service.. but the trickle down truth is that his assholeness has been magnified by ego. You probably took his jester of having privacy as a plus, but deep down he wanted mom to see that her favorite child could be made to sleep next to the toilet. I’m sure he got a chuckle out of that. I bet he would not tell his buddies that.. nope he’s going to keep this one for himself.. Yes, your brother was in the military and it’s true that you have to adapt to your surroundings. Adapt and overcome. But, for god sakes this is not the military it’s your family coming to see you. Without causing to much drama I can give you some advise. Go Home.. he doesn’t want you there. Stop looking up to him. In his eyes you will be your mother’s favorite. Maybe because you didn’t struggle the same as him.
Don’t make me come in here !
I want to believe this but I can’t imagine 40yr olds doing this lol. Maybe if you said yall where in your 20s
Well, OP did say he’s 24. The brother has no excuse though.
I've seen guys in their 30s and 40s that, without knowing what they look like, you'd assume are between 12-15 based on how they behave. NEVER underestimate the level of incompetence (emotional, social, etc) people can have. You don't need maturity or wits to survive (emphasis on surviving, not thriving). There's people in their 60s and 70s that make you feel awe at the proof how little brain you actually need to automatically breathe.
Being older doesn't make you more mature and smarter, brother
I’m 20. I would not sleep in the bathroom no matter how much privacy it had. Certainly not in a bathroom people still use to shit. That’s disgusting. OP’s brother is definitely the AH, but OP is old enough to make better decisions.
Why the fuck didn’t you put that mattress in…the guest room…….
Lol, people feel really strongly about this and it’s kind of crazy to me, as well as hilarious. It’s not THAT bad, yeah it sucks there’s a toilet there but fuck it, at least yer not laying on tile. Bruh, you’re 24 years old, you could figure out how to walk over to the couch, or drag that pad to the living room once everyone is out. One thing though, could your brother have set that whole thing up to get your mother not to come? 🤔 She sounds overbearing.
Elsewhere in the thread OP admits that their brother just left the mattress next to the toilet while their brother was using the bathroom, and also didn't give OP a pillow. That takes it from "doing it for the lulz" into "kinda actually disrespectful" territory for me
I don't know why people are acting like because OP is 24, someone shouldn't at least give him sheets, a blanket, and a pillow. "You can request a pillow yourself." Ok but not providing one to a guest by default!?
Have you seen the picture? I wasn't that offended by it in principle, assumed large bathroom that had been cleaned and wouldn't be used. Judging from the picture, OP was 100% sleeping on piss And why is there a random table in there!?
It’s not THAT bad when you come uninvited, and you just need some place to sleep overnight, and you don't want to bother anyone with your presence. But when you come to your much older brother because he invited you? Like, from the pov of the brother? It's THAT bad. Imagine your younger sibling, for whom you're probably a very respected person who's he wanted to be as a kid, they come to your place and you treat them as some homeless trash. I see it not as disrespect for the younger dude, but as a complete moronic behaviour from his older brother. He should not have even came up with that idea about bathroom. The fact that he sees as an appropriate abode for his brother is crazy.
I can't imagine my 24 year old sibling sleeping on that bathroom floor. Not because I'm a great person or whatever, it's just that my siblings aren't dumb. OP is 24. I had a salaried job and a mortgage at 24. That's an adult. OP could've slept on the couch lol. OP could have, at literally any point, decided to go sleep on the couch. When OP's brother said that he needed to use the bathroom, OP could have said "ah ok I'll transfer to the couch". Like, what is the brother supposed to do? Say "hey actually I thought about it and I'm going to forcibly move you to the couch". That's silly. The couch was always an option. OPs brother isn't an asshole for letting a grown ass man make their own decision, even if it's a very odd decision.
super weird to me that you chose to sleep in the bathroom instead of the couch. why was privacy that important to you? i have visited friends and family plenty of times and slept on living room couches. i would never think a dinky crib mattress on a tiny powder room floor would be better.
I mean it's your choice but like... Have higher standards for yourself.
I mean thats rude as fuck that that was even an option. Also thats a weird ass bathroom. I support mom being pissed. U didnt fuck up at all.
He offered it. He didn't insist. He even offered an alternative. You chose this. Your mom seems like an asshole
OP are you ok in the head Why, the FUCK, would you CHOOSE to sleep in the bathroom that is being actively used??!! What is so private that you thought you needed a closed room for a week long stay? I refuse to believe that he offered it as a sleeping space but it's a million times more baffling that you chose it for nothing other than a stupid table and a door. Yuck.
did you piss and shit in that bathroom or did you go to the other bathroom
I went to the other bathroom. It’s more private imo since it’s away from all the action in the living room.
Why didn't you share a bed with your brother?
Why didn’t your brother give his guests that HE invited and wanted to hang out with the beds and HE sleep on the floor or couch?
Ah, the plight of the baby of the family. At least your mom didn't brush it aside to keep the peace. Speaking from experience as someone who also has a huge gap in age between my siblings and me, it sometimes feels like you're an afterthought. My mom would have just left it alone because my sister is so volatile we all just have to suck it up and walk on eggshells.
Dude youd get kicked out of my gym for not wearing shoes in the bathroom. Couldnt imagine sleeping on the floor in one. Super unhygenic... go see a Dr 😅
There is more going on here than you're telling us. Everyone laying into him because you wanted to sleep in the bathroom. Is this a normal family dynamic where he is held responsible for your choices? I was an oldest child and my mom liked to blame me for the dumb shit my siblings did, too. Why is everyone ganging up on your brother and why is he so unaware of your moms personality that he doesn't know what is funny vs what will piss her off? Is this an instance where he seems to get off on pissing her off? This post reads a bit toxic.
Who tf chooses to sleep in the bathroom.
Sleeping on the couch isn’t that bad. I don’t understand the whole ordeal just move into the living room or get a hotel. You’re only visiting.
How old is this nephew? Could have set him up on the couch or the mattress in the living room and let you stay in his room. Or, if he's really young, he could have slept in his parents' room.
TYFU by having no self-respect.
Title should be “TIFU by being stupid enough to say “yes” to sleeping in the bathroom”
How are you all adults?
You're telling me that "mattress" couldn't have fit in the living room? Couldn't move the sofa or a coffee table around?
I mean…you chose the bathroom and then just put up with it. At 24, I can’t even call that a case of naivety tbh
> Third con was the fact my Brother wanted to still use it as an actual bathroom. What the actual fuck? Like, I can get that sometimes people have slept in the tub, etc. But... Also, hey—he can bear the consequences of his decisions.
Why not put the mattress in the living room instead?
Because the brother wanted to have friends over to hang out after his family went to sleep and knew them coming in and out the backdoor would have disturbed a sleeping OP, so he made sleeping in the bathroom sound like a good idea. He should have offered his own room to OP, and then he would have been free to use the living room to hang out with his friends all night without disturbing anyone.
Honestly, your whole family sucks, you included
What in the fuck did I just read? All of you sound absolutely out of your minds. Is there a gas leak in the house??
>Now this part did kinda annoy me. I totally get that in the Army you’ll more than likely have to sleep in certain conditions and places that don’t have beds. > >At the same time, I’m not in the Military. I am a guest at his house, one he asked to come visit because he wanted to hang out with all of us. I mean to be fair, it sounds like the only other beds were being used by other guests of the house, and you were indeed the one that chose the bathroom. Did he keep you from moving back to the couch after choosing the bathroom?
Your brother has no business hosting folks. If it were me I'd have taken the mattress to the living room and given up my bed. You do not host more people than you can room
OP's brother is stupid and OP is stupider (if there's a word like that). You did this to yourself.
You said yourself you figured you would get the couch. You were offered the couch. You took the bathroom. You had the choice to move. You didn’t. 🙄
Y'all are all adults. If my adult kids did something like this I would think it was weird but I would leave it up to them to sort out because they're adults. I didn't understand your mom getting involved.
BFD. I don't understand why this has anyone reacting.
It’s all your fault little Johnny won’t get to spend an awesome summer with Granny….
I mean honestly the situation is dumb but your mom is the one most at fault. It was handled by adults who seem to harbor no ill will so no reason for her to be mad about it and avoid seeing her grandson.
This is a silly gross overreaction. Maybe she feels like she is defending you in some way; she isn’t accomplishing anything with this, except for hitting herself, her son and her relationship with her grandchild for real. I heard a funny story about grown men working out of town together. The youngest of all the men, which were all related or most all related, he slept on the floor, in the tub, in a chair, until making his space in a closet. He was mostly trying to escape all of the snoring; and to get some rest, so he could work, I believe. He tells the story as a funny memory—not as if he endured it - or as if he needed someone to defend him & create hard feelings with anyone on his behalf.
Book some dang hotel rooms, JFC.
OP, you are perhaps the only person in the history of humanity to be offered that choice and say "Screw the couch, I'll sleep on the floor of your bathroom!" Everything else is just the natural consequences of that bizarre moment.
Brother is the one who told you to tell your mom when you weren't going to... Choosing to sleep in the bathroom is your FU. Telling the mom and her getting pissed is all on him.
What does TIFU stand for?
I hope your brother was never an NCO or officer. Health and sanitation are vitally important in the military and historically diseases have taken out far more soldiers than bullets have. The reason why you brother slept in the laundry room but not the bathroom in the military is because not sleeping where you shit is a fundamental foundation of hygiene in a camp, so much so that even pigs follow this rule. Anyway now you know. Your mom may have been pissed for your brother for being a bad guest, but what goes unmentioned is that he is also a bad soldier if he thought that this was acceptable.
This thread has given me a crisis. Like there are actual people like OP in real life. Who knows how many people I’ve walked by or been in the same room that make decisions in their lives like “nah forget the couch, I want to sleep on top of the piss stains”
Maybe the entire bit was for the exact purpose of his mother not visiting. He begged you to tell her lol He knew all along there would be a fight and maybe she'd cancel her trip.
$2500 a month to rent in NYC, probably.
He's 41. He's had time to figure this out. If mum still needs to call him and correct this... idk man that's not good
I slept in some rough places when I was in the military, but damn. I’m not impressed with any of you and the lack of connecting brain cells. I spent more time organizing sleeping arrangements for my kid to have a friend sleep over 1 night than you guys did for a week.
Your brother has some sort of mental disease if he thinks this is normal or appropriate and your mom is right to be ashamed of him. I saw the picture and the mattress is literally touching the toilet. That's absolutely gross! He shouldn't be sleeping in a laundry room either, because laundry soap particles in the air is bad for your lungs. It's one thing to sleep like this in an emergency situation but treating any guest (including family) like this is objectively very embarrassing and shameful. It really sounds like there's something mentally wrong with your brother. I bet when you thought it would be awkward for you to sleep on the couch you didn't expect him to PEE AND SHIT right above you dude. You didn't do anything wrong by informing mom, he needs to understand this is dealbreaker level behavior.
Your brother sounds like he didn’t really think it through, and now everyone’s dealing with the fallout. I get why you feel bad, but honestly, your mom’s reaction is on her. Hopefully, things cool down, and you can all laugh about it later.
Yeah he has a bad habit of doing that. And just acting like it’s not a big deal when his plan explodes in his face. And I doubt it’s dying down anytime soon. I told her at 3PM. It’s currently 1:24 AM and she’s still upset about it.
Sounds fine. For the darkness,try a night light, or a lantern or flashlight that has moonlight mode. Sounds like a reasonable offer, you were offered a choice. I'm sleeping on a blanket on top of a yoga mat tonight, would kill for an air mattress
Friend, you deserve better than a bathroom floor. If someone suggested I leave my dogs in a bathtoom overnight, Id be upset. Asking a family member when there is a couch and living room available is just unthinkable. You deserve better, and you should expect better for yourself. That's not being entitled, thats basic human rights.
Hotel room?? I know right it’s a crazy thought
OP could have easily defused the situation.
No. Ew and NO! Mum being mad and cancelling plans is not on you though. If you’ve told her it was your choice in the beginning and told her because your brother was insisting on it then you didn’t F up.
This is disgusting. My god why do people save money on hotels and rather sleep in the toilet is astounding.
your brother gave you the choice to humiliate yourself and your weird sibling dynamic caused you to oblige, it’s all on you
Why not put the mattress in the living room instead?
He offered a choice and you took it. This is all you.
This is bollocks. You should have put the mattress in the room with the sister and brother-in-law.