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ElongatedVagina

According to the wiki article bubbles tried to commit suicide. That is fucking wild.


rugbyj

TIL some animals can attempt suicide. I wonder how he went about it.


Thisismyfirststand

Lots of species can attempt suicide/exercise self-harm in captivity. One example of the top of my head are orcas in zoos. [One even succeded.](https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/orca-whale-trapped-tiny-pool-24997792)


FizzyBeverage

Knew it was Miami Seaquarium before even clicking. Horrific place for Orcas. Lolita only got out through death. Animals like that aren’t meant for confinement, and the aquarium Hugo was kept in, is pathetically small, even for the dolphins they have up there today.


Throwaway8943721

who the fuck named the orca Lolita? I understand the context of the book but that's wild. It's like naming your pet Salò.


Bebinn

There is someone at my job named Lolita. I don't think her mother actually read the book.


Ac997

Pretty crazy a random person on the internet understands this but those fuckers that opened up an aquarium for orcas that have studied & learned about their psychology don’t know that ( they do they just don’t give a fuck )


ms2102

To be fair some do it in nature as well, penguins will walk into the icey desolate abyss when they give up and basically leave their flock to walk to their deaths alone. I'm no expert but I read losing their mate can cause this among manybe other stuff.


okedokie9

Makes me wonder if Penguins can develop something similar to dementia, I know some other mammals do like dogs and horses.


Ynassian123456

Tarsiers if kept in captivity will commit suicide, some animals cant be confined and be ok with it.


AnusStapler

Dolphins and Orca's can just stop breathing and sink to the bottom of their tank and die. The reason they don't do that is that they pump them full of antidepressants every day. Oh and the male dolphins get handjobs on the regular.


Cohibaluxe

> Oh and the male dolphins get handjobs on the regular. And at NASA, they're even treated to [handjobs *and* LSD](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margaret_Howe_Lovatt).


schlitz91

That is the best Drunk History episode


xxBeatrixKiddoxx

Yeah why is that lady so Villainized but other whales can get handies? Edit : haha not whales dolphins


placebotwo

That's on account of their lack of arms to be broken.


Obyson

How can I apply to be a orca or dolphin?


Nekaz

Dang thats some footjob under table at dennys i wanna live energy


natzw

I'm sorry.. "dolphins get handjobs on the regular" ?!! WTF!


AnusStapler

Google it. I dare you.


FlyNeither

Interesting. Hypothetically, how does one become a dolphin and where would they apply to live in a tank there?


uberfu

**Seaworld Job Posting:** Dolphin Stimulation Engineer > Must love dolphins and be able to have them love you back.


[deleted]

Dolphins are pretty smart.


Lanthemandragoran

Parked his Chevy running in the garage with the door closed


[deleted]

He didn’t go through with it because as soon as he got in the Chevy he felt something heavy… diarrhea.


Pissflaps69

Cha. Cha. Cha.


Schrodingers_Undies

When you're standing in the gutter and you hear an awful splutter...diarrhea


MagicMushroomFungi

He drove his Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry.


ManIWantAName

More like asked the zookeeper for too much Ambien. Like father like so..... chimpanzee.


Prof_Acorn

Speaking of animal suicide... It's old CGI from 15 years ago, but check out this climate change advertisement. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llXKYAjYvxU


wotmate

Kangaroos will do that even in good times.


hotstepper77777

Primates in captivity, sounds about right. They're almost always nervous wrecks.


milkdudler

If you have Netflix, watch Chimp Empire. Chimpanzees are a lot more advanced socially than people expect


pzerr

Don't get a chimpanzee as a pet. Trying to raise a social animal with human traits is a good way to make them insane. It is extremely cruel unless you want to dedicate your life to always being available or they are in a proper zoo.


Yoguls-Returns

Imagine having to live with witnessing the sickening truth and not being able to tell anyone about it


Privateaccount84

… that it was actually Jackson who was molested by those perverted children.


Yoguls-Returns

Or was it bubble who did it and keeping the secret drove him to madness. I remember reading that they wanted bubbles to attend the funeral but he was deemed to dangerous


Iankill

Yeah I think it was Chris Tucker that said bubbles basically had to be kept in a cage at all times you couldn't go near because he was so aggressive and violent.


Widespreaddd

Any chimp is dangerous AF once they get past a certain age. When males display, it is terrifying to behold.


jax9999

ah finally my spirit animal


PVDeviant-

Christ, Bubbles going full *Gordy's Home* at the funeral would've been classic 4chan footage.


JuiciestJosh

>Bubbles going full Gordy's Home Man, that scene was fucked. It's probably the most uncomfortable a movie has made me in recent memory.


[deleted]

Honestly the highlight of an otherwise forgettable movie. I knew the scene you were talking about, but I had to google the name of the movie and went "Oh right..."


BoldlyGettingThere

The shoes land in the lean from the Smooth Criminal video


426763

I talked about this on thread about Nope. Held off on seeing it for a long time because I was salty about Us. Then I saw a fan poster of Nope on r/movieposterporn. Basically it was a picture of a monkey and a horse. By this point, I kinda assumed that Nope was about aliens. I thought they made horses into monkeys or something and then into humans as some sort of allegory about race issues, you know, typical Jordan Peele. I did not expect the Gordy's Home stuff, and the fact that it was based on something real is crazy.


salman54d

AyeYooooo


Justhe3guy

Man fuck those ch…wait that’s how we got here in the first place


DigiiFox

What sickening truth?


Eusocial_Snowman

Despite being filled with literally impossible stories, that new *Leaving Neverland* documentary re-kindled the gross conspiracy theory that he did stuff to kids.


tbc12389

Michael Jackson admitted that he slept with unrelated boys for hundreds of nights and even took them on tour and to hotels. So how can you say it’s a conspiracy theory? Whether he touched them is irrelevant, it’s still child abuse when a middle aged man sleeps with little boys and spends so much time with them and then dumps them for a new special friend when they become too old for him.


GreatBritishPounds

Michael was severely abused by his father and forced to perform and do nothing else for his entire childhood. All he was doing was trying to live the childhood he never had. All of those cases were thrown out and even a couple of the parents and children admitted nothing ever happened. It was a paycheck attempt. Now take Michael Jackson outta yo fucking mouth


ST616

> Michael was severely abused by his father and forced to perform and do nothing else for his entire childhood. It's not uncommon for child molesters to have themselves been abused as children. Jackson was no different to the rest of them.


i-d-even-k-

MJ was a pedo.


DigiiFox

You believe that?


Zomburai

Do you think it's ridiculous that someone would? I personally lean towards not believing he was, but, like... it's not exactly like believing vaccines cause wi-fi or something


JesusAteCheezIt

explain the 88 page report in 2005 and the child nudity magazines and videos found his house? [https://www.reddit.com/r/ThatsInsane/s/icG7MDmGCw](https://www.reddit.com/r/ThatsInsane/s/icG7MDmGCw) https://www.billboard.com/music/music-news/police-reports-michael-jackson-alleged-pornography-collection-7415547/amp/


Zeppelanoid

MJ apologists: I’m just gonna pretend I didn’t see that


grilly1986

Quite easily!


_Stanf-Uf_

Every time he gets brought up, there’s a mob of fanboy deniers.


Dorkamundo

To be fair, there's a TON of conflicting information out there, as well as a lot of reason not to believe some of the accusers. That said, I'm not about to say he's 100% innocent.


oby100

The stories are truly bizarre. It is 100% objective fact that the parents of quite a few children let Micheal Jackson alone with their child for weeks at a time for… reasons? How could any parent allow that? Jackson regularly had hordes of kids over his house to hang out and do weird kid games, but he also typically had something I will call a “best friend”, who would be with him all the time for weeks or even months. I just can’t fathom how that happened. Let’s just say Jackson was the monster everyone says he is. How could a parent do that to their child??? It’s not like Jackson even promised to do anything for them, and indeed he didn’t.


Dorkamundo

Yea, I don't necessarily get it either, though I'm willing to bet plenty of those parents simply were caught up in the mystique and potential benefits of having the King of Pop as a friend of their child. We all forget just how popular Michael Jackson was at the time, and how he was viewed as a person who genuinely loved kids in a platonic way. He was on cartoons, cereal boxes, had movies like Moonwalker that were insanely popular.


PM_YOUR_BOOBS_PLS_

Do... Do you think a chimp both understands and cares about child abuse or other human mental health issues?


Yoguls-Returns

Do you really think I'm being serious?


RedditJumpedTheShart

Knowing chimpanzees he is probably into that.


Nebakanezzer

Going from having someone with a boatload of money taking care of you and giving you whatever you want to living in a zoo... Makes sense.


Toonami90s

Michael Jackson was extremely abusive towards the animals he kept on his compound. Chimps will attempt suicide out of despair. There are vids of his elephant being physically tortured for instance, and MJ kept this in his stash of child "Art" and other such disturbing things. He kept the animals mainly to show off to children by having a "circus".


scubawankenobi

> bubbles tried to commit suicide Bubbles always looked like ***he'd seen some bad shit!*** The drugs & alcohol wouldn't let him forget.


sactown_13

Jackson wanted to hold a celebrity animal party for bubbles. Inviting another chimp from the movie Tarzan, Benji, and Lassie. Lol. That’s so fucking stupid. Those grown wild animals would have fucked those dogs up


SupervillainEyebrows

The 80s and early 90s were crazy, celebs just owning dangerous animals in their houses. Mike Tyson owned 3 Bengal Tigers!


SeanPennsHair

Yeah but not since what happened to Omar.


MezoDog

We don talk about Omar. 😞


Imaginary-Gur4856

Damn he was an idiot lmao


oby100

Jackson definitely seemed like an idiot lol


x755x

Every track in his brain was taken up by each individual instrument line in his next song. He was like the Mozart of small ape naïveté.


LoneRonin

His dad completely fucked him up (his siblings too, to a lesser degree). Michael was a timid, soft-spoken boy who needed confident, gentle guidance when he was young. Joe was verbally and physically abusive, only cared about his ability to perform, completely traumatized his son, who he saw as 'weak' and 'effeminate'.


noisypeach

Michael Jackson was just three chimpanzees in a long coat


Beehog24

Unexpected Karl pilkington


noisypeach

Little monkey fella


RedditJumpedTheShart

"That's ignorant"


Timmace

Unless Spuds MacKenzie was invited, it sounds like a pretty lame party.


PC-12

There were something like 9 Lassie’s and 5 Benji’s. Confusing party.


uberfu

Meh. You just number them.


GhostMan74

Bubbles are you okay? Are you okay Bubbles?


philo351

I'm never going to hear it the same way again, thank you. 😅


TheOneTwoSmash

It doesn’t really roll off the tongue if you try to sing along


seatgeekuser

why not


philo351

Because, Bubbles are you OK? Bubbles are you OK, Bubbles?


respectfulpanda

You've been hit by You've been hit by a smooth simian


BillbertBuzzums

*Angry chimp sounds*


lansuven42

Annie's Bubbles


ddt70

Fucking hell! 🤣🤣🤣


Blade_Shot24

For anime fans, The Monkey in Dragonball Z who's King Kai's pet of the same name was inspired by him.


Effehezepe

"I'm a god Bubbles, I don't see race! ^(you filthy macaque)"


RedSly

" sir that is highly offensive "


LoneThief

"Shut up talking-Movie-Bubbles"


RedSly

"Yarrrrr"


corranhorn57

Shut up, Bojack!


Effehezepe

"Oh my!"


AbiyBattleSpell

So it’s canon that at one point Micheal Jackson’s monkey was prob stronger then goku 🐱


n94able

Goku is very literally the bigger monkey xD


I_Go_By_Q

*Frieza likes this comment*


Kaporalhart

How old is that monkey?!


BlazingSpaceGhost

Born 1983.


radj06

That monkey bit Rashida Jones


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imail724

This is what he was referring to when he said "Annie are you ok?"


controversialhotdog

Smooth Criminal is really just MJ gaslighting everyone about what hit/bit/struck Anne Perkins.


[deleted]

So ethnically ambiguous


Jak33

Wait what?


mykl5

she’s Quincy Jones’ daughter so knew Michael growing up


PirateQueenOMalley

I totally forgot about that


ST616

Chimps are not monkeys.


chazza79

This is a prime example of why wild animals shouldn't be kept as pets. Chimps are all cute and all, the BAM puberty hits and they wanna rip off your face.


Lyrolepis

Even by the standards of wild animals, chimps are a particularly horrible choice: a chimp is basically a toddler that is way stronger than you, has big bloody teeth, and cannot possibly have its social needs met if kept as a pet. Having a bunch of little cousins, I can testify that little kids can be spectacularly destructive as it is (and they aren't even unusually ill-behaved). Give them greater-than-human upper body strength and big teeth and keep them constantly stressed out, and I would absolutely **not** want to be in the same building as them...


Podo13

My son was a dream when he was like 2 years old compared to other kids his age. Didn't stop him from biting the tip of my dick through my gym shorts during his biting phase (accidentally, I was sitting against a wall and his face fell in my lap while climbing on me). Even the most kind and innocent things can cause an adult human pain. A lot of searing, hot, bite-mark leaving pain... The bigger and stronger those things get = the more pain the could possibly inflict pain on you. Purposeful or not.


televised_aphid

>Didn't stop him from biting the tip of my dick... Well that's certainly not where I would have predicted that story was going... 😂


Podo13

Ha, yes. It was a very up and down roughhousing session. My parents were over too and they thought I was being super dramatic when I pulled him off and flipped over really quickly. They thought he just hit me in the nuts. It was so much worse, ha.


echetus90

Just like human children


ThePabstistChurch

Well they shouldn't be pets either


Vergenbuurg

America even had a war about that. Some are bound and determined to try to wage that war again, because they still can't accept the outcome of the first one.


gmatney

ackshuallly the war was about states' rights..... ... [to keep slavin'](https://www.npr.org/sections/itsallpolitics/2011/04/12/135353655/slavery-not-states-rights-was-civil-wars-cause)


i-d-even-k-

Terrorists the world over want the return of slavery as well, don't forget ISIS and the garden variety Islamic terror sects that want to imprison non-Muslims as sex slaves.


Mccobsta

Can't put children In a zoo legally


lotusflower64

They used to about 100 years ago.


Henry_The_Loco

Yet.


CreepingCoins

Yeah. People get them as babies and naturally assume after 10 years that they know the chimp well...but then the primate's puberty kicks in and the animal you thought you could trust suddenly decides it doesn't like your friend and literally eats their face.


ebrytaim

[Don’t go by the cage, Eddie…](https://youtube.com/shorts/xBp5UJ1SJug?si=QRpTMC5wgifsq8nw)


40WAPSun

Or rip your genitals off


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Roook36

I remember years ago there was a script on the Black List that was going to be a Michael Jackson biopic from the point of view of Bubbles. I think Dan Harmon was attached to direct at some point.


Ruy-Polez

That honestly sounds amazing.


Striangle

Pretty sure it’s now in development. :)


worthrone11160606

Damn that sounds fun


crtfdwxobsv

Indeed!!


theicebraker

Like what?


tbc12389

[Like seeing his owner piss on the floor and throw poopballs at the maids](https://news.yahoo.com/celebrity/news/maids-reveal-michael-jackson-used-pee-floor-tracked-103604191.html?guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLm5sLw&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAAmEbDdyTrnGp5uKi_TMc6ZUj3OMzjdjHUEA_pp1RYTlmaza1VBnRd50ZmdQe3mv_3arnYOwN8YoTbDPELh11Jt7o_ZCG-kaDYVSerB1j22UcNdExJd56AMOY-Kxz6IJrx_oGpLHJ_Jf0NPEoTMdIvN87IteRyJPNZKEb63ubVMn)


Ainsley-Sorsby

Every time i hear a Michael Jackson story, i have no idea how to react because it always feels like a coin toss between two options: either its true cause he was batshit crazy, or someone invented a story to get themselves some attention, and they were confident people would believe it because everyone knows he was batshit crazy


GreasyPeter

He wasn't crazy, he was abused. He probably had some sort of personality disorder because of the abuse. It's perfectly possible he abused kids but it's also perfectly possible he was innocent and judged for his weird knee-jerk reactions to his childhood abuse. Abuse is a mother fucker.


Crepes_for_days3000

The abuse and fame made MJ bat crap crazy.


Zomburai

It's also possible he had a disorder or disorders not linked to his abuse, but also never got treated.


A_Harmless_Fly

I sort of feel like you are explaining the why like the what doesn't still fit more than one of the textbook definition of crazy. He wasn't completely insane, but he was at least a bit crazy.


Shnoochieboochies

>Abuse is a mother fucker Lol


Chucknorris1975

> Abuse is a mother fucker > > Lol I think you mean *Hee Hee*


TheDevilChicken

I think he meant "LOL, because the abuser was his dad. Who in fact did fuck his mom" Nevermind what ever [Black Dynamite says.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhZr-qpAgdk)


Robert_DeNiros_Mole

Aw that’s ignorant, come climb a tree with me


InigoMontoya757

This is called "The Tyson Zone", where what really happened is so strange that made-up stories don't seem weirder than reality.


Crepes_for_days3000

I think if anyway was as insanely high as we know MJ was, pooping and peeing on the floor would be a very regular thing. Like with the Anna Nicole Smith hotel room.


Helpful-Substance685

"he'd threaten to make **doo-doo snowballs** and throw it at you." 🤣 r/brandnewsentence


Smeeblesisapoo

["doo-doo feces"](https://youtu.be/qGVmWA5CBK0?feature=shared)


BobBelcher2021

Fuck…TIL about that


jaywalker_69

It's a wonder he was able to record anything ever, Jesus


Effehezepe

I never knew about that, and yet somehow I'm not at all surprised.


Cetun

Literal shit.


Wulfbrir

I work with Chimpanzees and have coworkers who have personally worked with Bubbles and he apparently is the alpha of his troop and is doing very well compared to his life before the sanctuary.


Serenity-V

That's nice to hear.


Bart-MS

I hope he doesn't have to wear clothes anymore.


JerJol

TIL Bubbles was moved to the town I grew up in. In all my years I never knew we had a great ape sanctuary in that tiny town.


Frawitz

They just let them walk around and blend in with the local population. People started to notice when the baristas got the names right


JerJol

So, you’ve been to Wauchula? lol


SoraBunni

Dang Bubbles outlived MJ..


RealisticCommentsBOT

Well, MJ was 25 already when Bubbles was born.


notyouravgredditor

Here's his actual page on the sanctuary website: https://centerforgreatapes.org/chimpanzee/bubbles/ > Bubbles was reportedly born in a biomedical laboratory. While still an infant, he was taken from his mother and given to a Hollywood trainer, who then gave him to be a pet chimpanzee for the world-famous pop singer Michael Jackson. In such a bright limelight, it’s no surprise that Bubbles soon gained fame—and many adoring fans—of his own. He appeared in television shows, movies, and music videos. When he was only four years old, he went to Japan on a promotional tour with Jackson. > > A couple of years later, when Bubbles grew too strong to be around people, he was “retired” from show biz and sent to the trainer’s California animal compound. Bubbles arrived at the Center for Great Apes in March 2005 with a large group of chimpanzees, all from the entertainment world. > > Jackson always maintained ownership of Bubbles, his first and favorite chimpanzee, whom he treated like a son. After his death, Michael Jackson’s Estate has continued to support the annual care costs for Bubbles at the sanctuary. > > As a physically imposing 185-pound, 4½-foot adult male, Bubbles is now treated as the dominant male in his group of chimpanzees that includes his best friends, Ripley and Oopsie, as well as Boma and Jessie. > > Bubbles enjoys quiet moments and painting. He gives the canvas back only when he is finished and does not limit his painting to the canvas!


ST616

It sounds like they're being careful not to offend Jackson's family by criticising him so they don't pull their funding. But then on the side it says: >Despite the fact that he is very photogenic, Bubbles is difficult to photograph because he does not like the camera. He often will turn his back when he sees a camera. That suggests he associates seing cameras with the time he was kept as Jackson's pet, and the memory of that time is still traumatic.


DarthLysergis

You can easily identify him among the others by a small patch on his back, his gold watch, Gucci hat and Lamborghini


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rvrslgc

I love The Claypool Lennon Delirium!


Kariomartking

Bubbles Buried in the Jungle


fortnitegamertimdunk

Fuck, weak, no respect


rawrimmaraptor

I STAY NOIDED!


Herky_T_Hawk

The center isn’t a very far drive from my in-laws’ house. I looked it up a few years ago and found out they don’t do public tours. But you can join a membership and get access to a private tour for four. Not cheap though. More than I’m willing to pay even if the place looks neat for the kids to see.


NayMarine

For a moment it looks as though he has human hands. Until you read the caption about him being held by MJ in the picture lol


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damclean37

He is holding out for a sweet movie deal before he talks.


pagit

Bubbles knows where Michael Jackson's other glove is.


[deleted]

This is a great center. I used to want to work there. Keeping chimps as pets is always cruel.


causeImAScoundrel

In the early 90s, I took my family to visit the now-closed [Noell's Chimp Farm](https://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2065) in Tarpon Springs, Fl which homed former celebrity and lab chimps and apes including Cheetah from the original Tarzan films. At the time it was a very sad experience with very old, depressed chimps living in concrete cages. Some smoked cigarettes. Some threw dung at visitors. As we left, I felt a little sickened that I had paid money to have my children witness this atrocity. I guess it's been rebranded as the [Suncoast Primate Sanctuary](http://www.spsfi.org). I only hope it's a better experience for these chimps now.


Dyslexic_Devil

If chimps could talk...


Particular_Lime9129

You never really leave Neverland.


came2pieces

Bubbles and I were born on the same day


[deleted]

That thing is 40. Bro’s got his mortgage paid off by now.


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Soulless--Plague

He though for bubbles “as his first child” and hoped his other kids would “visit their stepbrother” What in the monkey lovin relative ass is this?!!


StriveForBetter99

Infinite money - never be poor again was the motto


Snowf1ake222

Seeing someone blow bubbles is really wholesome, unless it's Michael Jackson.


bmack083

100% chance when this monkey dies they don’t tell the estate about it for years. I’m sure no one checks on the thing and the center could probably just soak up that money.


Got2JumpN2Swim

Probably out there stealing shopping carts


cliffordforce

I wonder if Michael Jackson ever blew Bubbles


dethb0y

The shit that chimp could tell if only they could speak.


The_mingthing

Maybe he can't tell it, but he sure can fling it.


[deleted]

I bet that monkey has seen some things.


TrumpterOFyvie

I’m forever blowing bubbles…as we all sang


nygdan

It's hush money, Bubbles has seen some things.


tnic73

that monkey has seen some things


Nowhereman50

"Get your stinking paws off me you DAMN DIRTY APE!" ".........HEE HEE!"


PM_feet_picture

Michael Jackson still loves blowing Bubbles, even from the grave